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/lit/ - Literature


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7191042 No.7191042 [Reply] [Original]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Qvlkrn0P_0z4JOp4oJ9L9dKq0I382bAQqAbnLtNsmhM/edit

>> No.7192470

>>7191042
Nice.

I'll add to it more on Monday.

>> No.7192501

We need to end this, dude.

>> No.7193910

>>7192501
Sure do. We'll just have to wait for everyone to pick up and connect loose ends, perhaps agree on the denouement.

>> No.7193926

>>7191042
How is this coming along ?

>> No.7193948

>>7193926
Almost done by the looks of it.

>> No.7194006

Links to the previous ones?

>> No.7194031

>>7194006
Part 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10FJAVXeEWsczbb3sZUtjSTfcW7P5RxUWznd42JpoUqs/edit
Part 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cZU53DxV4I5-AvdzwTRMp1sick80VuFRHEkUolK1vvE/edit
Part 3: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11rUoy3gqL2ERiZscfc5cWrt8uMNykOTLi45rG3sbJks/edit
Part 4: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IVWhB7ZOgM-fSNypkSsahx2tU1tvNCZ7VOrp4zn5kjI/edit?pli=1

So that puts us at... 338 pages total (including what's done to Part 5)?

>> No.7195362

>>7191042
bump to keep this up for our european friendos

>> No.7195370

What the hell is this?

>> No.7196419

>>7195370
Fifty down-syndrome-meme-addicted-potentially high-paranoid nerds write a sci-fi novel.

>> No.7196423

>>7196419
accurate tbh

>> No.7196430

>>7196419
Tbh that sounds kind of interesting

>> No.7196458

>>7192501
It seems to be wrapping up, I'm ending the Trump saga this week and Bottleman is working on his final chapter, the other threads have all seemed to be tidied up, like Mypecuthers or Foucalt.

>> No.7196977
File: 71 KB, 818x325, hyp1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7196977

>>7196458
>Bottleman is working on his final chapter
Are you sure about that? Pic related sounds like it could be him, but I don't see a final chapter. Maybe he's teasing us?

>> No.7197013
File: 33 KB, 512x384, 1443613122930.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7197013

we're bombing down the homestretch

charge up with some art

>> No.7197017
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7197017

>> No.7197021
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7197021

>> No.7197029
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7197029

>> No.7197172

>>7197013
>>7197017
>>7197021
>>7197029
go on...

>> No.7197213
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7197213

>> No.7197243
File: 62 KB, 493x640, 1439585489711.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7197243

>>7197213
Tyrone

pic related, Gewehr Foucalt

>> No.7197266
File: 262 KB, 635x510, 1436047406003.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7197266

Johannes Wilkenssburg

>> No.7197318
File: 244 KB, 499x602, tumblr_n9i36nYmFu1qb1wbzo1_500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7197318

Tyrell and Skeezy-Stee

>> No.7197341
File: 1.23 MB, 1900x1667, 1416699772609.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7197341

I'm gonna stop now, this is getting close to off-topic spam

>> No.7197892

>>7197266
isn't there a faux-Wilkenssberg, the Bibble one?

>> No.7197931
File: 2.26 MB, 3000x2048, leopold.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7197931

Leopold

>> No.7198644

>>7191042
nightbump.
also: >>7198236

>> No.7200141

>>7198644
What the fuck

>> No.7200191

>>7196977
Oh he's doing it off doc, to save editing space. H's spending a while on it.

>> No.7200195

>>7197892
Wilkenssburg 1: puerile king gay devotee
Wilkenssburg 2: female royal, object of unclear narrator's affection (Bottleman? these sections are written in the Bottleman style, as seen in the pic earlier in the thread)
Wilkensson: blues musician. alter-ego?
Bibble Wilkenssburg: from the fictional/propagandistic account of Wilkenssburg's and PK's romance written by the aliens

>> No.7200657

>>7200195
Okay, so i guess this is the part where we make up some theory as to why there are four Wilks.

>> No.7200670
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7200670

my kinda thread

>> No.7200674
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7200674

The execs

>> No.7200681

>>7200670
I added the poem "June is a month the world over," which was posted here on 4chan some considerable time ago in a critique thread. I though I'd include it since now that it's online it'll have nada chance at publication, and I think it deserves better. If anyone knows the writer, please contact them so I can have his opinion.

>> No.7200694
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7200694

Peter schoolshooter

>> No.7200714
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7200714

Scene Change

>>7200681
I don't imagine anyone here would know the writer/have their contact info

>> No.7200743
File: 116 KB, 537x804, 1438007363866.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7200743

Stephanie

>> No.7200747
File: 288 KB, 964x1033, 1437678540828.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7200747

Aelius

>> No.7201257

why are we posting pictures

>> No.7202117

>>7191042
nightbump2

>> No.7203487

wtf is quagga? is it a TLOTIAT reference?

>> No.7203637
File: 935 KB, 1836x3264, 20140925_225532.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7203637

Can someone brief me on this? Is it like HOTIAT?

>> No.7203699

>>7203637
This is a writing collaboration where a bunch of anons get together in google docs and write a novel.

>> No.7203710

>>7203699
Can I write too? Is there an FAQ?

>> No.7203716

>>7203710
It's kinda too late now brother :(

>> No.7203719

>>7203637
see
>>7196419

>> No.7203721

>>7203710
>>7203716
Part 5 is still going on

>> No.7203726

>>7203710
Any anon can write, just remember that the story* is being finished now, so starting some new plot or something wouldn't help, really, I'd recommend just doing some small self-contained skit or short story but it's down to you.

>> No.7203727

Anon who pasted in the Hitler excerpt, would anyone miss it if I removed it? I'm starting to agree with the anon who was against unoriginal/copypaste content.

>> No.7203734

>>7203727
*Anon who pasted in the Hitler excerpt here

>>7203726
Some person just started a whole thing about quaggas. I say, anyone who wants to add a new thing, add it. Fuck it. There's plenty of hanging threads.

>> No.7203735

>>7203727
remove it

>> No.7204254

>>7203716
Nah. All self-contained contributions are welcome. If someone's going to make way for a new character, I suggest they build up to it quick before the project ends.

>> No.7204812

>>7197341
It's good inspiration tbh fam

>> No.7205818

>>7200714
Just briefing in case the guy/gal comes around and notices the poem. We are indebted.

>> No.7207708

>>7191042
bump

>> No.7208026

>>7205818
I ain't indebted to shit, I didn't ask for any poem

>> No.7208043

>>7208026
Would you prefer a haiku?

>> No.7208418

>>7208043
I'd prefer something REAL man something straight from the GUT

>> No.7208505

Does this have some kind of cohesion or plot throughout the book? Or is it just a lot of good shit put together? (kind of like TLOTIAT)

>> No.7208706

>>7196419
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Qvlkrn0P_0z4JOp4oJ9L9dKq0I382bAQqAbnLtNsmhM/edit
do i have to read all of what was written reviously to add? i want to add cowboy parts

>> No.7208728

>>7208706
Not all, but maybe skim to get an idea and check out the summary (it's only up to part 3 tho):
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zw2QgmXQeaTdNpUsFZqhDqoTgk4QISrYVbDfghlTWsI/edit?pli=1

Go through the docs and CTRL+F cowboy, there are a few stories that feature them, maybe you could work your ideas into that.

>> No.7208733

>>7208505
Both

>> No.7208753

>>7208505
Think a lot of sub stories all loosely connected in the same absurd universe, with a gradual build up to a reveal of the tenth room.
>>7208706
Please make them subtly homoerotic.

>> No.7208949

>>7208418
Then go disembowel yourself, Anon. :^)

>> No.7208972

I removed the BedroomPunishment excerpt because it got messed up with the new story pluggins, will put it back soon.

>> No.7208975

>>7208972
Thanks man, I liked your piece.

>>7208949
See if you can get it to hit the keyboard, and post results.

>> No.7209071

>>7208418
Shit?

>> No.7209238

>>7208949
>>7209071
Thanks for the feedback guys

>> No.7209388

>>7209238
np, keep writing!

>> No.7209400

>>7209238
remember to post pics.

>> No.7210197

>>7208975
It's actually a friend's piece. He has other similar pieces on his blogwall (private) that I could've used as well.

>> No.7210237

someone has to go through and correct all the 'the's

>> No.7211953

>>7210197
what! more c+p content!
>>7210237
go ahead. i correct them where i see them

>> No.7212066

>>7211953
I ask his permission! Plus, he knows about the project & approves.

>> No.7212092

>>7212066
I'm just surprised. how far does this thing go? is this just a compilation of text? is any of it original? are we real?

>> No.7212102

>>7212092
im not real, and, um, using that kind of label, um, seems just, biggoted, so speak for yourself, shitlord

>> No.7212126

>>7212102
i am literally shaking i can't breathe this is abuse this is rape this is ventriloquism

>> No.7212216

>>7212126
as a puppet, i ought to feel offended

>> No.7212257

>>7191042
Alright, fucking with the footer is actually breaking my laptop.

>> No.7212309

>>7212257
Turns out red courier new bold isn't even Luke.

>> No.7212350

HYPERSPHERE HIERARCHY
Tier 1
The Hero's Journey
>The first room contains a whole universe, many of its more ignorant inhabitants are completely unaware of a world beyond it. Dying in the first room causes you to enter the second.
>The second room, sometimes called 'The Waiting Room' is a test of either patience or creativity. An act of creative expression will allow everyone to enter the third room. This room is constantly changing and shifting through time.
>The third room is one of the smaller rooms, it is an arena where those who are present must compete for their place in hyperhistory. Those who fail are cast into the netherrealm below
Tier 2
The Metafictional
>The fourth room is where the heroes who made it through the third room are immortalized via fiction. They are written into hyperhistory via an arcane Google Document wherein a complicated network of writers retell their story
>The fifth room is a near infinitely large library where the secrets of the Hypersphere are kept, there are many books here but all are identical. Heroes may browse at their leisure and progress to the sixth room when ready
>The sixth room, also known as The Point of No Return, contains two pills, one red and one blue. On taking the red pill a hero is transported to the seventh room, on taking the blue he returns to the first room with no memory of the experience.
Tier 3
The Search
>The seventh room is indistinguishable from the first aside from the presence of heroes who remember the preceding six rooms.
>The eight room is inhabited by those who seek The Ninth Room. It is a place filled with physical anomalies and mysterious ruins. Some say it was modelled after Hyperspace.
>The existence of The Ninth room remains uncertain, however it is rumoured to be the gateway that allows residents of The Hypersphere to access Hyperspace.

>> No.7212356

>>7212257
congrats, you fucked up the entire document.

>> No.7212403

>>7212356
No need to delete it you shit, just cut and paste it in somewhere.

>> No.7212422

>>7212403
cut and paste what in?

>> No.7212453

>>7212356
You can load old versions anon.

>> No.7212458

>>7212309
What I'd expect from a footer faggot piece of shit.

>> No.7212471

>>7212422
The conversation.

>>7212458
Header4lyf

>> No.7212479
File: 137 KB, 1280x1006, lit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7212479

>>7212458

Second from left looks a little like Justin.

>> No.7212502

>>7212479
The nose looks wrong but I do see it. Maybe he had a nose job.

>> No.7212506

>>7212479
Far right is definitely an Earl guy.

>> No.7212518

>>7212506

I'm hetero but he's objectively hot.

>> No.7212546

>>7212518
I wish moustaches, suits and pipes would all make a comeback as casual wear.

>> No.7212576
File: 52 KB, 480x449, chap.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7212576

>>7212546

Do it. Be a (re)pioneer, chap.

>> No.7213032

>>7212479
>>7212546
>>7212576
I don't know what's going on but I approve.

>> No.7213128

>>7212576
I'm going to a small quaint Bomd Street tailor and starting a bloody revolution, right now, read these words and await my dapper crusade.

>> No.7213734

>>7203487
quagga is a book in the vein of TLOTIAT and Hyperspace that was never finished. made it to about 90 pages before getting deleted and disappearing.

>> No.7213747

>>7213734
I'm pretty sure I had it saved somewhere. Will see to shedding some light, if I can.

>> No.7214200

>>7191042
Anyone want to help me in the quest of capitalizing 'the' where needed throughout the doc? It'd be very appreciated.

>> No.7215324
File: 458 KB, 3311x4200, quagga cov 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7215324

>>7213734
>>7213747
>>7203487
The Quagga Project was to have been the follow up to the original Totalitarianism, it reached a grand total of 98 pages before being abandoned. It's actually more cohesive and narrative-driven than TLOTIAT: the quagga remained a constant motif along the book and the gist of the "plot" had something to do about this Speides guy -a detective- and his wacky shenanigans in Miami while, simultaneously, a mysterious plan to bring back the quagga is put in motion.

The project was met with heavy resistance by anons who percieved it as a low-quality knockoff of TLOTIAT, among other things, the doc got erasen several times and certain letters were replaced by others in numerous occasions.

The thing died down after some internet terrorist wrote a script that erased the whole document every few seconds. Work was halted because of this and the whole project was soon ditched.

After the whole quagga debacle, the next attempt at a followup to TLOTIAT (other than Stallion's irrelevant attempt) was Kolsti's, during its writing interest on the quagga book arose again, a few more additions were made in this period of time but nothing substantial. Once more, interest died down.

After that, the quagga became somewhat of a meme and that's pretty much what it is now: a meme and a ghost book.

I have the whole thing archived in case /lit/ wants to revisit the book someday. For the time being, you can read the thing here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MgrH3JqK5Ws47KHLerVPjY-hLpbah8qtIbYrlhEjEdo/edit?usp=sharing

>> No.7215730

>>7215324


Interesting, thanks comrade.

>> No.7216129

>>7215324
What a rich tapestry of shitposting this board has.

>> No.7216475

>>7215324
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MgrH3JqK5Ws47KHLerVPjY-hLpbah8qtIbYrlhEjEdo/edit?usp=sharing
This, not so surprisingly, has a whole lot in common with some of our Hyperspace stuff.

>> No.7216518

someone deleted all the text in Part 5

>> No.7216540

>>7216518
Retrieved.
And, in case this happens again, I might have to put this all on a private document and allow certain people access only.

>> No.7216544

>>7216540
nice. is this retrieved directly from the document's saves or is it a backup?

>> No.7216591

>>7216544
The former, so there's nothing missing from the previous save.

>> No.7217018

>>7215324
>the next attempt at a followup to TLOTIAT (other than Stallion's irrelevant attempt) was Kolsti's, during its writing interest on the quagga book arose again, a few more additions were made in this period of time but nothing substantial. Once more, interest died down.
nah mate TLOTIATII: Miami was written before Kolsti and I think it actually got lulu published

>> No.7217034

>>7217018
...I thought Miami *was* Kolsti?

>> No.7217104

>>7217034
The Quagga Project started out as Miami as well.

>> No.7217173

Bottleman here, came back to Part 4 to find this. Wondering if we can do sidenotes like the Shem, Shaun and Issy episode in FW with the geometric vagina, that'd be nice. I don't know if Google Docs permits it.

>> No.7217177
File: 64 KB, 935x615, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7217177

>>7217173
Forgot pic, for the lazies' reference.

>> No.7217488

>>7217173
>>7217177

Man, that'd be awesome: I'd totally add some marginalia. Also, how's the Bottlefinale coming? If you're incorporating my idea of a drunken Arab (I won't be offended if you're not), I might add I think it'd be excellent to have him shoot Bottleman on the beach - the opposite, of course, of what takes place in The Stranger. Just a suggestion.

>> No.7217737

>>7217488
The finale is coming about slowly, and I'm not one to herald bad news. It's these obligations I find myself in now, and scrambling to pay for university this semester that's kept me from finally putting an end to this - as ordered, some three or so Mondays ago. I will get to it, but I do like the progress so far. I did add an excerpt from a bad draft to put everyone in faith of my return: "Johannes was overrunning..."

If time is available, I will add the voyeur Arab part as desired. As of now - as Joyce aptly worded himself, verbatim: "If I could find out in the meantime who is the patron of men of letters I should try to remind him that I exist."

>> No.7218413

bump

>> No.7219855

>>7217034
no miami has kolsti in it but kolsti's adventure in the everglades is a different book

>> No.7220672

morningbump, remember to eat your cereal

>> No.7221114

I'm interested in contributing. Does this shit have any coherency or do we just put a little bit of whatever into it?

Can someone catch me up on where we are at because I'm not reading almost 400 pages of it at this moment.

>> No.7221189

>>7221114
Write whatever you want, as long as it is self-contained. If it is good enough to survive the editorship phase, I suppose it will be plugged in earlier in the story to compensate for Part 1-3's poverty.

Addendum: I like whoever went thru and made footnotes for "milk."

>> No.7221208

>>7221189
nah don't just shove shit in parts 1 to 3 where it doesn't belong.

keep the structure of the book and only edit out the stuff that is complete fucking garbage and doesn't need to be there.

>> No.7221239

>>7221208
Nobody said anything about "shoving" crap into parts where it don't belong.

>> No.7221244

>>7221239
>I suppose it will be plugged in earlier in the story to compensate for Part 1-3's poverty

>> No.7221313

>>7221244
There are stories that pertain to the progress being done in Part 5, then there are side stories that we can afford to install earlier. I just thought we'd be hitting two birds with one stone that way.

>> No.7221331

>>7221313
there's no need to put loads of self contained stories in a place that they weren't actually written

all of the stuff from the early chapters amounts to something, a lot of the sections in part 4 and 5 are inspired by stuff from 1-3.

It's a nice aspect of the structure where the world becomes wider and less coherent and more sparse as the story goes on, you fuck it up if you take stuff out of its actual context and throw it into chapter 2 somewhere.

>> No.7222860

bump

>> No.7224164

bump

>> No.7225163

>>7222860
>>7224164
you guys suck

>> No.7225183

>>7221189
> I like whoever went thru and made footnotes for "milk."

thought it made add a fun new texture

>> No.7225274
File: 741 KB, 850x1100, hypvar33.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7225274

>> No.7225431

>>7225274
Interesting, but looks almost too bleak to me. And the book is Hypersphere originally but that can be changed.

I think we should strawpoll/surverymonkey all the covers at the end and have a thread vote.

>> No.7225447

>>7225274
i like

>> No.7225462

>>7225274
meh

>> No.7225529

>>7225274
>>7225431
oh shit, I fucked up the title

>> No.7225538

>>7225274
wtong title and boring m8. Discarded and trashed.

>> No.7225568
File: 815 KB, 850x1100, hypvar4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7225568

>>7225538
whoaaa final word from the trashman. fuck off cunt

>> No.7225582
File: 370 KB, 850x1100, hypvar2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7225582

>>7225431
I don't really have the goal of making one main cover. just making a bunch of them at this point

>> No.7225586
File: 1.38 MB, 850x1100, hpsp7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7225586

>> No.7225592
File: 1.06 MB, 850x1100, hpspb1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7225592

not a front cover

>> No.7225597

>>7225586
everyone pretty much decided on this one.

>> No.7225601
File: 960 KB, 850x1100, hpspbtest4fade.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7225601

>> No.7225605

I don't have the original white background covers by designer-anon

>> No.7225610

>>7225274
theres a book I think published this year or recently that had a similar cover. it is horror or Lovecraftian or something. anyone remember the name?

>> No.7225620

>>7225610
nvm found it.

>> No.7225631

>>7225601
I love this as the back but please fix the text. no repeated background, or maybe lower the opacity.

>> No.7225643

>>7225631
will do

>> No.7225799

>>7225597
There's room for discussion still.

>> No.7225860

>>7225799
nah.

>> No.7225979

Whoever wrote "A Unified Colony," I'm putting a metanarrative in all that waste of good white space just because I can.

>> No.7227085
File: 812 KB, 850x1100, hypvar4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7227085

>> No.7228167

>>7215324
That copy is missing a whole lot. I got like 5 parts missing including rex the dogtective

>> No.7228237

what do you think of my piece on dieuretics. I think I'm in for a pullitzer

>> No.7228802

>>7228167
I think rex dogtective was in The Logical Conclusion, not quagga

>> No.7229461

This'll garner a whole lot of negative comments, but can we perhaps make "Hypersphere" into the subtitle (as in something like "A Hyperspace Odyssey" or "A Space Iliad" (this one if we're gonna keep Hyperspace in the title)). I feel like "Hypersphere" has a YA vibe to it.

also, there seems to be a lot of confusion about the whole hyper(space/sphere) thing

>> No.7229476

>>7229461
I think you're dumb and that there is only a small amount of confusion completely caused by one bumbling idiot and that hypersphere is a bretty gud title whereas hyperspace is super generic and bland as porridge

>> No.7229479

>>7229476
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2907664D333F4F02

>> No.7229482

>>7225979
>metanarrative
putting meta in front doesn't mean you can call any random babbling a narrative.
>waste of space
>implying white space is wasted
see all of asian art forever.

Bantz aside I dig your writing and like the idea of interpenetrating narratives but I'm gonna have to massage it a bit to keep the rhythms playing nice.

>> No.7229490

>>7229479
hyperdrive is closer to hyperspace than hypersphere as hypersphere is a geometrical term whereas hyperspace/drive both refer to scifi space travel.

also the whole skeleton of the book is based on the idea of travel between the 9rooms, which exist in different dimensions. ditching the 4-D geometry term as a title destroys that connective meaning.

>> No.7229519

>>7191042
>"What’s a shy quiet guy high schooler supposed to do when a testosterone pumped friend asks him why the hell he has some foreign comic caps lock conspiracy cock in his backpack?"

What the fuck have you done?

>> No.7229535

So you guys are starting to draw to a close with this thing? That's great. Will there be a printing?

>> No.7229545

>>7229535
>So you guys are starting to draw to a close with this thing?
theoretically
>Will there be a printing?
people were talking about this.

>> No.7229548

>>7229519
I feel bad when I see stuff like that, or
>Approximately ten party hat symbol thirty-three micrometers above the head of Johnnie, in a dimly-lit room,
my prose is so workmanlike, if not clunky
>>7229535
Shit is coalescing

>> No.7229552

>>7229548
hahah top kek

>> No.7229555

Thought: Part 5 (secret room 10) is approximately a fuckton longer than any other part. What if P5 were divided into some number of subchapters (maybe 9 would be a good significant number as it would mirror each previous room, like the 10th room could be a dark reflection of each previous room that somehow folds back into the first room in some hyperdimensional fashion like a klein bottle or something. Then we have a (semi)circular narrative a la finnegans wake and the tite (hypersphere) will kinda accurately describe the structure of the object being explored in the book.

>> No.7229567

>>7229548
*in comparison, my prose is

>> No.7229568

>>7229548
honestly when i see stuff that bad if I can quickly see a way to improve it I'll just fucking do it and not give a shit about messing about in someone else's writing. I do my best to preserve intent and style but damn some stuff is just so offensively bad I need it to be different.

>> No.7229585

>>7229568
You'd change something like the example I posted? I think it's funny, in a bizarre way. And "ten party hat symbol thirty-three micrometers" sounds nice.

>> No.7229600

>>7229585
I liked your shit man.

>> No.7229606

>>7229585
I wouldn't change your example. Usually i have to be triggered by a blatantly ignorant word usage, or something like that.

when you said 'i feel bad' i thought you meant poor quality prose made you feel sick, and I totally related to that feeling and posted my reaction to that feeling as a way of building rapport. Now I see that the style of prose makes you feel inadequate, hence "i feel bad"

i get the feeling you're not very whimsical- that's most of what that sort of stylistic thrust takes: whimsy and a willingness to relax and let whatever out (with the knowledge that you can go back in and remove anything that's bad in hindsight)

>> No.7229635

>>7229606
That's probably true, although I think it's partially my sensibility and inexperience. Haven't worked through all my shopworn uses of language

Have you written anything in part 5?

>> No.7229659

>>7229635
yea, "A Unified Colony of Voices Speak" is me.

>> No.7229666

>>7229545
>>7229548
Good, good.
Is it good?

>> No.7229677

>>7229666
that depends

>> No.7229684

>>7191042
Who can read the french part at the end ? what does it say ?

>> No.7229688

>>7229666
We got a black president, the aliens will be here soon
Open up your eyes and your ears, here's the truth
Beyond blind faith we don't really know what to believe
The meaning behind these old books could be anything
Who the fuck translated these words from Aramaic
To the language spoken in the empire of the hated?
We the children of a lesser God
Make me want to pull an Escobar, and I ain't fuckin talkin 'bout Nas
I'm serious like a swastika
Or playing Russian roulette, over hard liquor
Or Hamas after bombin' a Bar Mitzvah
Or Israel after bombin' the Gaza Strip up, it's constant
This tit for tat, raising our little kids with gats
Throwing gang signs like Bloods and Crips with bandanas on they face
Sometimes the bandana's on their brains
This prison planet tries to shackle me in chains every day

Illuminati triple-six, just study Koresh
Mullets and bullet belts encourage the best
Entourage of Gods, from Mossads to Qurans
Church Ave. to the Taj Mahal we rock hard

>> No.7229693

>>7229666
nice satan trips

part 5 is my favourite so far, I think we have a good book if we end it right.

>> No.7229694

>>7229684
As we see, yes, now, the four eyes worn black iron molasses in the reality of the tenth, as we see, we are already beyond by ourselves. And while it remains in a corner of a smash us of our souls; a burst of fragmented mirror that carries the final quality of our species, then we are still there. In the tenth long FillIns pearly and dairy we see tourbilloner that wrap to form ephemeral planets, which orbit they ance them in a white and clean system called the eye and brain. But hush! here is coming Leopold, an insult scope has this paragon as a healing injury that persists into the soft flesh of the world, is evident out there climbing off a clear hill, and soon it stands in all its ridiculous height and agitated Appendices in a macabre dance and then everything stops, everything stops, and clocks and ivory towers of opaline and freeze all look at him. Every tenth is his audience, every tenth listen, but he said nothing; he looks just blind to what really matters, sweeps his injured perception of what would be his redemption and eternal damnation that sees the colors of chaos.

And then splits, because nothing can stand it; it vibrates, he jumps up, it phase voila who turns and turns on itself and he stole the tenth its own characteristic but no, we can not let that happen: yes, voila, a little more and everything restarts in reverse, faster and more violently than it was originally, and white stars resume their innocent dance or they left off, with more conviction and more energy than before, and Leopold tomb earth, and Leopold sees nothing and sees nothing Leopold and Leopold sees nothing, oven His eyes full of emptiness, in His Soul and nothing remains the goal smashed piece of a mirror crumbled in himself.

>> No.7229706

>>7229694
average translation

>> No.7229712

>>7229694
This is uncomprehensible

>> No.7229715

>>7229712
I sense google translate

>> No.7229724
File: 51 KB, 499x500, czecht.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7229724

>>7196977
>>7197266
>>7198644
>>7203699
>>7208733
>>7209388
>>7209400
>>7212066
>>7212422
>>7214200
>>7216544
>>7217177
>>7217488
>>7219855
>>7221244
>>7225799
>>7229555
>>7229600
>>7229666
>>7229677
>>7229688

>> No.7229751

>>7229684
>>7229694
I've fixed (among a few things) "mêment", which I assume wasn't intentional, but just letting you know in case it was

>> No.7230073

>>7229476
>and that there is only a small amount of confusion completely caused by one bumbling idiot
?

>> No.7230229

Bottleman here. I won't do a finale, just wrap it up and package it.

>> No.7230273

Pitch for Puerile King finale (the royal gala): schizo narrative with anons writing uncontrolled interjections throughout the chapter to reflect the various attendees and things going on at the same time as the main PK/Johannes drama.

>> No.7230276

>>7230229
That's a shame. Care to paste the unfinished stuff you had?

>> No.7230288

>>7230276
I might. Plus, I have to put the BedroomPunishment excerpt back. Just writing things down to remember at this point.

I also hate what that kid did to the interjection in "A Unified Colony," and now it's butchered. I just gave up trying.

>> No.7230304

>>7230288
Which is the interjection? The grayed-out text?

>> No.7230316

>>7230304
Yes.
And I won't abandon the project, I'll wait for Puerile King and hope everyone goes by >>7230273 's suggestion.

>> No.7230334

>>7230229
Fuck man, we were looking forward to that shit.

But yeah, if you don't want to do it; don't do it. Hope you keep writing though.

>> No.7230335

>>7230316
What's wrong with it? I like that piece and I'd like to jump in on it but I'm unsure what the core idea is/how I'd preserve it.

>> No.7230340

>>7230273
Forwarding this for final ending, culminating in a meta-narrative/reminder that no one exists; perhaps Trump gets involved with some Stirner memes.

>> No.7230350

>>7230334
It's not that I haven't written anything these last few weeks, but everything I do feels disjointed. Heck, I even submitted my latest piece to a critique thread. I don't mean to vent, but I'm not in a right mood to write anymore. Sorry for your broken promises, guys.
>>7230335
No heartjuice left.

>> No.7230451

>>7230350
I'm the Trump anon, I'm stuck on a block too.

I'm sure both of us will tear our hair for a while, hear some good music, or see something funny in a walk, and then get that annoying urge to start writing again a couple weeks down the line.

>> No.7231264

how's it coming along?

>> No.7231555

I think we just finished it.

>> No.7231561

Bottleman, Trump, Puerile King

>> No.7231565

>>7231561
B here, sup.

>> No.7231582

Did someone just delete like 80 pages of the document? For some reason I'm not being able to scroll past page 34.

>> No.7231587

>>7231582
Reload the page. It's all there.

>> No.7231603

1. Memaw kills Fanshen
2. Bignose gets to the tenth room
3. Death orgy
4. Return of Trump
5. Puerile King finale: the royal gala
The end?

>> No.7231613

So.
We're done?

>> No.7231708

I hope you people realize it's utterly impossible to create anything worth reading like this. If you're 'avin' a laff, that's great, but count me out from here. This is not writing: this is sheere pollution

("u mad" responses incoming)

>> No.7231796 [DELETED] 

I have Hypersphere compiled into one document for the final phase, should I link it?

>> No.7231805 [DELETED] 

>>7231796
wait until Puerile King finale

>> No.7231867

>>7231708
there are some rare moments of coherence, hilarity, and almost beauty though so I think that makes it worth it.
it should definitely be edited down quite a bit though

>> No.7231873

>>7231708
>projecting this hard

>> No.7231883

>>7229677
Yeh, what it depend on?

>> No.7231887
File: 69 KB, 560x373, brustna drömmar.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7231887

>>7229688
>rage against the machine stuff
I like it-


EDIT THE BOOK

>> No.7231912

People should go back and add in memes from vignettes/parts into other vignettes/parts to make it seem more integrated

>> No.7231918

>>7231912
Okay. We need to stop writing things temporarily and transfer everything to a masterscript. Anyone up to it? We need to preserve all footnotes, headers, images and whatnot. Google Docs isn't ideal for c/p tasks and much material can potentially disappear.

>> No.7232044

>>7231918
I'm up for it. I got the week off and some bags of K. Dick
Let us do this
I'd like to help with the editing, I's gots a good sense of style I knows it, I but I'm not a lesbian tho
The microphone explodes
Shattering the molds
Either drop the hit on de la O or get the fuck off the commode
With the sure-shot
Sure't make the bodies drop

Lead me to the pastebin
Let me at it
I need it

>> No.7232053

I'll even out momentarily. Where's the irc?

>> No.7232089

>>7232044
>>7232053
fuck off

>> No.7232102
File: 70 KB, 810x780, a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7232102

>>7232089

>> No.7232276

this should end with the "zip. shush-and-natter" line.

>> No.7232330

Why are underage kiddies tampering w/ the doc.

>> No.7232444

>>7232330
I don't understand, is everyone editing the same document all the time? That's pretty insane.
I remember reading some summary or something of this thing, many months ago, and there was Bin el Affleck and Trump and all kinds of great stuff..

>> No.7232448

>>7232444
HEY :D haha

>> No.7233258

>>7191042
Who wrote that bizzarrely spaced out poem?

It's very nice, well done.

>> No.7233260

>>7232444
what are you 100 years old? you sound like some old faggot who can't figure out his smartphone

>wow, google docs allows collaborative editing?? but it's just a WORD file!!!?!?! Huh? Woah! Wow.... Whazza?? Huh? What the....? *taps phone screen frustratedly* Shit!

>> No.7233262
File: 3 KB, 121x125, 1371218081042s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7233262

>tfw you killed the spiritual sequel
feels bad. I won't kill this one ,I promise

>> No.7233270

>>7231603
This would be the best way to tie up the loose sub-stories, we could even link Puerile King to Trump, does anyone have a lowdown on what the Black Ayyster Cult again? To control hyperspace with their hypervision television?

>> No.7233523

>>7233258
Which one? The one in green or the one in black and grey?

>> No.7233547

>>7233270
Black Ayyster Cult is the execs + various cultists who serve the aliens. The aliens are from hyperspace and their goal is to reshape the hypersphere according to the ayy lmao manifesto in part 3. Right now they're accomplishing it via hypervision indoctrination (together with wojamba trade trapping the population in a state of sedition and media manipulation), and through hyperreality tampering/tenth room hijinks they'll eventually literally, physically reshape the hypersphere. Memaw is unwittingly their servant, they wrote the fake bible which informs her faith to trick her into carrying out murders on their part (so far she has killed God, Freedom, the detectives Jones and Bob, and is now on the way to take out Fanshen).

>> No.7233558

>>7230335
he can't handle the bantz. I didn't touch a word of his story (aside from like one or two things i'm almost 100% certain were spelling errors) aside from that all I did was move things around and change it to a gray/black scheme rather than an underline/italic scheme cause the latter was visually confusing to me and unpleasant to parse.

like I said though I think what you wrote was bretty gud. I wish there were enough of it to span the length of the original text.

>>7233258
I began it, thx
>>7230335
if you'd like to jump in that's totally cool. Try to keep your voice distinct but unified with the other voices in the text. Interweave your narrative with the others. that's pretty much it. bring whatever else you want to it, the other guy was trying to fill in whitespace so pretty much anything can be a motivator.

also the really final step is going to be typesetting, so we don't get annoying things like titles of new stories on the bottom of pages with the body starting on the top of the next page.

>> No.7233561

besides tlotiat i haven't contributed or read anything after that.
how do they stand qualitywise to the original?

>> No.7233562

>>7233561
better but still shit

>> No.7233578

>>7233561
Possibly funny if you like sci-fi and happen to be slightly high.

>> No.7233582

>>7233523
or the one with the ascii meme arrow of Xs

>> No.7233600

>>7233562
well atleast it's getting better
>>7233578
i happen to like sci-fi and i have the means to get hight, though i found during the original one that most of the fun comes from writing it.
i guess i'll give hyperspace a go.

>> No.7233606

>>7225601
Lol
'Dwayne "The Rock that Does in Fact Recognise the Moon" Johnson.
'sfunny

>> No.7233640

>>7233558
>also the really final step is going to be typesetting, so we don't get annoying things like titles of new stories on the bottom of pages with the body starting on the top of the next page.
Don't worry about that until we're done writing and go into editing

>> No.7233687

>>7233558
>he can't handle the bantz.
Just easily frustrated, mate. The condensed format was with intention, juxtaposing certain words or paragraphs to read vertically or diagonally. I was getting to that. Never mind.

>> No.7234207

bump