/lit/ - Literature

>>7194751
Acceptable answer: Tao Lin
"Controversial" answer: Phillip K. Dick

Clive Cussler. More regret reading his tripe than fucking a fat, ugly girl.

>>7194772
If authors were restaurants, then Cussler would be a dimly lit rootbeer stand serving flat piss soda and rat meat burgers in bumfuck nowhere Alabama to traveling rednecks who don't know any better.

>>7194759
Honestly, my answer would be Dick. Even his good works are full of cringe, yet they still manage to be decent.

Never heard of Tao Lin, looked him up now.
Jesus.
Nevermind, this dumbfuck wins. What type of faggot publishes a book of tweets?

Fuck this gay Earth.

>>7194759
Tao Lin is a boring answer

>>7194892
Tao Lin wins, but he's too obvious a choice in a lot of ways. Dick is cringeworthy in a more conventional way. I was reading one of his books the other day and I just couldn't take it seriously when his character started playing a recording of Lord of the Rings and talking to Gandalf as if he was there.

>>7194904
>I just couldn't take it seriously when his character started playing a recording of Lord of the Rings and talking to Gandalf as if he was there

The 1970's drug culture was a crazy time to be alive, brah.

The main reason lord of the rings really caught on in America was because filthy hippies and junkies loved Elves.

>>7194751

Blake Butler is definitely up there. I knew him before he released "Scorch Atlas" and thought he was just kind of a tryhard but when that book got released he got his ass on his shoulders.

The whole book is "LOOK HOW FUCKED UP I CAN BE".

His writing is like Naked Lunch meets Palahniuk.

>>7194751
Beautiful eyes, tho.

>>7194929
It didn't even seem like he was so high he thought he was in the room, or high at all. It just felt like an autistic nerd's private LARP session.

Jim Butcher

total trash

>>7194751
>BLK BTLR

What a massive faggot.

>>7194997
When reading a Dick story, ALWAYS assume that the main character(s) are high.

We are talking about a man who wrote a book while fucked up on VITAMIN C. 9 times out of 10, Dick was higher than a kite while writing his works.

>>7195043
Nah. He was aware of what he was doing and slightly embarrassed about it in that scene but did it anyway. That doesn't sound high to me.

Erin Hunter

It's a group of 5 crazy cat ladies writing books about cats in clans with no communication between them, the cats gain super powers like invincibility and there's a cat that lines his claws with Dog's Teeth.

>>7195405
I just googled it.

Literally dozens upon dozens of these books, all about magical cats living in forest. Just reading the Wikipedia entry gave me my daily dose of autism for the day.

Who the fuck reads this shit?

>>7195063
He was quite documented as having been high and would get so blasted away he would roll dice to decide plot points because he was incapable of making decisions at the point he would trip at.

>>7195589
Children. Is that really so hard to believe?

>>7195589
cat ladies clearly.

>>7195405
...this actually sounds kinda cool to me.

I've never seen anybody discuss it here, but Ilustrado by Miguel Syjuco has some of the most belaboured, nonsensical puns I've ever read. One that sticks in my mind went something like "Be careful not to slip on Freud's banana peel!" and I was just like, "Miguel, how dare you make me read this with my own eyes."

Also pages on pages describing sitting around doing coke like, "yeah, I've done coke, it's not that big a deal, just thought I'd let you know, pretty cool, right?" It's probably one of my least recommended books.

>>7194904
Keep in mind that Dick was schitzo

>>7195601
I was talking about the character in the book, not Dick himself.

>>7195589
Hear ye, hear ye-this be the Warriors Code for the CATS (mo-fucka)

>The Warrior Code

cats paws
1. Defend your Clan, even with your life. You may have friendships with cats from the other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your Clan, as one day you may meet them in battle.

2. Do not hunt or trespass on another Clan's territory.

3. Elders and kits must be fed before apprentices and warriors. Unless they have permission, apprentices may not eat until they have hunted to feed the elders.

4. Prey is killed only to be eaten. Give thanks to StarClan for its life.

5. A kit must be at least six moons old to become an apprentice.

6. Newly appointed warriors will keep a silent vigil for one night after receiving their
warrior name.

7. A cat cannot be made deputy without having mentored at least one apprentice.

8. The deputy will become Clan leader when the leader dies or retires.

9. After the death or retirement of the deputy, the new deputy must be chosen
before moonhigh.

10. A gathering of all four Clans is held at the full moon during a truce that lasts for the night. There shall be no fighting among Clans at this time.

11. Boundaries must be checked and marked daily. Challenge all trespassing cats.

12. No warrior may neglect a kit in pain or in danger, even if that kit is from a different Clan.

13. The word of the Clan leader is the warrior code.

14. An honorable warrior does not need to kill other cats to win his battles, unless they are outside the warrior code or it is necessary for self-defense.

15. A warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet.

Whatever bitch wrote the D.U.F.F. it's honestly one of the worst books I've ever read, to the point where it's actually hilarious. I couldn't get beyond the first chapter laughing at it with my friends, but I'd suggest reading it if you like cringe. It's really, really fucking bad.

>>7195703
Looking at photos of her, it seems to be autobiographical.

>>7195716
It actually is from what I read. Check out an excerpt on Amazon, it's the worst YA I've ever encountered. Frozen novelizations are better than this.

>>7195703
>>7195722
Its written by a 17 year old high school girl.
Of course its shit.

However, nothing can top pic related (written by a fucking 15 year old).

>>7195735
I love 15 year old writing, it makes me feel less insecure of my own writing when I was 15

>>7195703
>>7195735
Gloria Tesch is worse which is an accomplishment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4OYYjXWCoI

>>7195722
I just read the first 5 or so pages on there, and I don't know, I don't see how it's so screaming bad. Kind of boring, inane, and stupid, but no more so than I would expect a typical teenage girl's life to be.

>>7195737
I wrote weird pedo-neko-porn when I was 15 and actually, Eragon was probably better. At least he left out the catperson sex.

Okay but Twilight.

>>7195870
Good thing I didn't write about twink vampires when I was 15 and instead wrote the equivalent of a dragon ball z esque fighting "series."
Needless to say, I am not a very talented writer.

>>7195735
Isn't it basically a Star Wars rip-off?

>>7195814
I was looking at the chapter summaries. I am in disbelief.
http://conjugalfelicity.com/maradonia/

>>7195893
ayy lmao
Isn't her stuff basically vanity-published by her dad though?

>>7195895
Yes. Dad is some evangelical carny turned millionaire.

>>7194759
Why's everybody ragging on Dick? His writing's shaky as hell most of the time but I never feel embarrassed for him or anything. I like how his stories always feel like semi-successful attempts at explaining LSD-induced epiphany's to his audience. Trying to make sense of his work is fun, even if Dick himself probably didn't 100% comprehend half of what he wrote.

>>7194751

Butler is so jealous of people who can write about their experiences in an interesting way. It's so obvious he has nothing to say based on how much he hates Franzen, DeLillo, and Cheever (hating on Cheever? seriously?) He writes vice articles about video games, shit talks any writing that isn't 'Lovecraft-does-Naked-Lunch' trite, and expects people to think he's deep.

>>7195623
But he's showing you that the characters being written are written from a stoned person's point of view. The character might not be high but he is influenced by a "high" creator which is important to take note of. Just like how this post was written by a high father fucker.

>>7194892
>>7194759
Can you give me an example of something that made you cringe in Dick's writing?