/lit/ - Literature

rare wojak

>>7187917
i'm sure i've seen this one before

What a beautiful text

>>7187913
Boston is easily the most intellectual city so this doesn't even surprise me. The "best of" section of the Boston Craigslist is quite impressive.

>>7187913
>The woman finds this
>She contacts the man that posted this
>They arrange a meeting
>She shows up
>A man of about 26 walks up to her
>He begs her to edit the rough draft of his novel

that was fucking gay

>>7187913
To the gentleman who called me a depreciating asset
>
>Date: 2007-10-11, 8:23AM EDT
>
>
>Dear Sir,
>
>I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking - especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.
>
>By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.
>
>If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.
>
>You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

>As strangely as our union had begun, so too had it ended. I was devastated. I went back to Neisner's every day for a year, but I never saw you again.

lmao gayy

>>7187969
>Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).
>
>I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.
>
>
>This message is in response to:
>
>
>I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
>about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
>Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
>bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
>see it.
>
>Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
>crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
>suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
>my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
>money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
>that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
>be getting any more beautiful!
>

>>7187975
>So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
>asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
>accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
>hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
>earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
>
>So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
>and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
>to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
>you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
>to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
>as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
>
>Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
>I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
>as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
>believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
>hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
>
>By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
>we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
>
>With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
>Classic "pump and dump."
>I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
>lease, let me know.

>>7187969
God what a shitty passive-aggressive read. Where is this from, /r/mensrights?

>>7187969
>>7187975
>>7187976
that was fucking gay too

>>7187913
This is trash Lmao