/lit/ - Literature

Daily reminder that every great writer had experienced several intimate romantic relationships by the age of 25 twenty-five

>>7005205
put my fatty in her mouth and cum on her face while I think of her big titted mother

also I read books to her

>>7005205
Invent scenarios in which we meet or socialize (state fair, an upscale restaurant, the conquest of Constantinople, a Parisian hotel, the eastern front of WWI, etc.) and then write her dialogue.

>>7005211
>be 18
>0

Is this going to be the new "/lit/ ambitions" or "25" thread?

I liked the post about sharing a book with your gf and having separate bookmarks from where you both left off

When I first met my girlfriend she was new to the country and had a BA in English Literature , said she's read hundreds of books and had a giant collection she left behind. We bought each other a few novels when we first started going out as gifts I bought her the Bell Jar and The Sun Also Rises. Now I read more than she does (which isn't much ) and she spends her time watching E! And TLC shows like I Am Cait and Say Yes to the Dress.

>>7005237
Thinly veiled misogyny in 3 ... 2 ...

>>7005237

She sounds awful mate, she gave up /lit/ to fill her brain with reality tv. She's betrayed you, you know what you must do to punish her.

Sometimes me and my girlfriend read together on my bed. She then usually complains about how she's stupid and can't read. I tell her to try anyway. She then attempts to cuddle with me.

visit secondhand bookshops and fairs
browsing the aisles, holding hands
have brunch at a cafe afterwards, quietly discussing the tombs we uncovered

>>7005205
Slip Finnegans Wake into her bags whenever she's not looking
then act surprised when it turns up and claim I had no idea how it got there
just to be an ass

>move to London alone in 2014
>work shitty jobs to make rent
>attend a graduate event thing in Earls Court
>walk around booths talking to companies etc
>keep passing a qt who also seems sad and alone
>finally say hey in passing and then talk after watching the same presentation
>find out we're taking the same tube
>decide to meet up again
>now dating for around 8 months
>spend weekend mornings browsing outdoor book stalls
>walked around Highgate Cemetary together last weekend
>going to Dublin soon since her sister lives there and she's a Oscar Wilde fangirl
>tfw taking long, slow walks along the Thames on cold, grey days

>>7005205
>>7005205
>What kind of /lit/-related things do you do with your girlfriend?

fucking the farts out of her ass, tbh

I emotionally bully her by insisting that her taste in literature, film, and art is inferior to mine, as are her opinions on politics, philosophy and religion. I explain to her that this is because she is inherently of little worth and she must therefore dedicate her life to satisfying my carnal wants and artistic ambitions or else I will abandon here and she will die alone and unloved. We also enjoy visiting wineries.

>>7005271
Such a reddit-tier post.

>le outrageous, rambling first sentence
>le quirky, deadpan conclusion

>>7005263
>tfw living alone in London for the past 9 years

>>7005274
so true xD

upvoted

>>7005275
Alone as in with no flatmates or with no gf?

Where abouts?

>>7005278
no friends for 4 years, no gf for the entire time

NW7 representing

>>7005280
What do you do?

I'd be down for a /lit/ meetup sometime

>>7005288
Nothing
Just studying for an irrelevant degree at an irrelevant university

How many lit Londoners are there

>>7005300
I've seen quite a few on here. Also what degree and what uni? Not trying to doxx just curious.

>>7005304
journalism at city uni

>>7005307
That's not irrelevant mate. Plenty of young journalists go there. I assume you're doing an MA?

>>7005205

I got her to read IJ.

Yes, I'm that guy.

>drove from North Carolina to Chicago earlier this summer
>spent winter break in a cabin in Montana and read books by a log fire we had to tend
>reading Tennessee Williams plays in bed, me voicing the male characters and her the female ones
>proof read each others' college essays

It's a good life man. I genuinely feel bad for folk on /lit/ who don't experience this sort of thing.

>>7005253
>quietly discussing the tombs we uncovered
do you mean tomes? or else you should be worried about king tut's curse

>>7005340
Sounds boring as fuck

>>7005344
lol stay jelly beta

I guarantee if you knew what my life was like you would beg to be me

My /lit/ gf lives 2 hours from me. We send each other books and letters through the mail a lot. I also go over her papers since she is still in college and I'm an experienced copy editor. She tells me that she loves me because I'm one of the only people she knows that she can talk about literature with.

>>7005340
sounds nice anon

>>7005346
Ok, tell me about yourself then. Let's see what there is to be jealous about.

>>7005350
I'm 19 years old.

I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.

I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.

I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.

I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.

Both my parents are alive and in good health.

I have no regrets.

I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.

I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.

I will live a good life at your expense.

>>7005346
>hurr durr le beta
>hurr durr

>>7005352
You're so kawaii. I want to pet you and cradle you and take pictures of you to post on instagram.

>>7005352
If I met you in real life.... oh boy

This post made me mad

>>7005352
Post an excerpt of your work m8

>>7005360
>>7005362
>>7005369

It's copy pasta nerds. I read this exact post like a week or 2 ago.

>>7005360
>>7005362
>>7005369
>falling for pasta
oh boy...

>>7005370
Damn I have been fooled

>>7005352
>I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

hahaha, i bet you bought them at a cheap ass thrift store, my existential crisises are all from louis vuitton, they have bling that shines so bright that even a pleb like you might see the light in them

>>7005211
Who
Is
Proust

>>7005399
a rambling NEET with approximately 0.5% of his work having any merit

>>7005399
Proust visited brothels and also had a girlfriend later on

>Been all my life alone.
>no friends, no gf.
>the only friends i have are the books i read.
>Now i don't know what to say to anyone and if i try to talk i always end as the weird guy.
Such is my life

>>7005423
i'm sorry anon. how old are you?

>>7005352
Al dente with a pinch of salt - no more no less

>>7005466
43

>>7005466
>>7005519
no, im 25, don't belive that fucker, he made me kek but hell no im not that old

>>7005380

my existential crises always come with genital warts

>>7005211
>not knowing about a virgin called Borges
xD

>>7005886
Nice meme

>>7005795

same ;(

I build her character

>>7005244
Lel, I have seen that guy in person

>>7005211
well almost every person has so i don't think you can say this in itself is important to being a writer specifically

>>7005352

keep it up, kid, I'll be fucking your ass in jail one day.

>>7005904
nice fam

Build bookshelf.

>>7005253
nice scarf

>>7005349
cute

>tfw no gf

>>7005214
>also I read books to her
so much cucked

>>7005352
You haven't experienced shit, kid, let alone any kind of existential crisis.

>>7006118
Don't use fam here please.

STOP REMINDING ME THAT I SAVED THIS

>>7005211

haha jokes on you i'm a great writer and a virgin

>tfw no qt3.14 gf to listen to Belle and Sebastian with while reading The Trial

>>7006705
haha jokes on you i'm a terrible writer and a virgin

>>7005205
Dumping her.

Patricians don't have gfs.

>>7006748
Ohhhh goooood ;_______;

>>7005352
Is this copy pasta?

>>7005370
>>7005373
^^^
>>7006939

>>7006778

>tfw you'll never be the young boy at Socrates' symposium

>having a relationship

gay. Why would I want to distract myself from reading and writing?

>>7005274
>le le meme

>>7005352

I haven't seen this in years. The depths and profundity gets me every time.

>>7007215
what about with a qt guy who'll fuck your sweet boipuss, anon?

>>7005211
Wrong. Joyce only really had one his whole life, and he is the greatest author. Unless of course you're counting prostitutes and lewd correspondences as "intimate romantic relationships," but even then I'm not sure I'd say there were several, and I think he only started sending letters to that one girl in Zurich once he was a bit older.

I weave quotes from Joyce into our conversation and she's confused - that's pretty much the extent of it, but that's alright. She only reads genre fiction and pop sci with some entry-level philosophy at my request.

>>7007206

You do realize that the Greeks thought sodomy was okay as long it was a little boy, yeah?

One of the greatest writers of all time was a life-long virgin

>>7007516

myth but i get you're joking/baiting.

>>7007654

>>7005352
>Both my parents are alive and in good health.
>old as fuck
>good health
jej

>>7005352
It's a great copypasta but in all seriousness a guy like this would be a fucking sociopath in real life.

>>7005205
No one said snuggle up and read to each other? Pitiful!

>>7007669
Fun fact, Greeks weren't into sodomy, they mostly had thigh sex when they fucked dudes.

>>7005205
sex

>>7005205
i geek out over James Joyce and explaining other books that she hasn't read and why she should read them

she thinks it's adorable

>>7007642
Look at his face
Fucking look at it.
You can see the sadness and despair in his eyes.
You can hear him murmur in your ear "don't be like me, your hand isn't sexy enough, trust me".

we talk about Vonnegut over coffee.

she's a giant hipster but I'm going to cure her.

Not much, I'm mostly wishing she were 13 again.

>>7006776
hahaha

g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-girlfriend????

>>7006702

No woman would want a man that pathetically sensitive

>>7005205
>implying I have a girlfriend
>implying life is fair and God is just
>implying happiness is attainable in samsara

>>7005352
The fact that so many here don't recognise this instantly as pasta is a testament to how I spend way too much time here. Goodnight, /lit/, and thanks

>>7005352
this is a copy paste lads

>>7006125

>more than twice as tall as it is wide

The fuck, fam?

What a shitty bokcase

>>7008433

>fam

cancer

>>7005237
Before your lady met you she was a voracious reader, but since she met you she's been binging on reality TV? Is that right?

>>7005274
Still funny though.

>>7008447
There is no difference between reading, watching TV or jacking it to chinese drawings. It's all leisure unless it's philosophy or science.

>>7008483
>philosophy
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>>7008486
Say what you will but Philosophy at least arouses your brain to engage in hard-work.

>>7008495
H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4

>>7008499
You laugh cause your a fucking cuck.

>>7008505
>your
>cuck
typical philosofag

>>7005214
My brother of another mother!
I mean, my girlfriend is Japanese and she's cute and all, but her mom has a huge ass, like. Damn, you wouldn't think an asian would have such a big butt. I wasn't ever interested in anal until I met her mother.

>>7008009
Really? I only see the loftiness which can only be found in a soul which doesn't ever concern itself with carnal desires.

>>7008211
>putting pussy this much on the pedestal
smh fam

>>7008211
A time for everything under the sun, anon.

>>7008545

>implying there is anything better than genuine agape + eros in this dimension of pain

if anything deserves to be on a pedestal it's pussy, tbqh

>>7008576
A fucking walk in the park is better than any of that shit.
>dimension of pain
CUCK
UCK
CK
K

>>7008578
>walk in the park

is way better when you share it with a qt.
no lie.

>>7008593
Nah, a qt would surely distract you and end up making you lose the entire walk in itself.
Well, this may be my introspective bias anyways.

>>7008576
that's a man, baby

>>7008597

You've never frolicked through the forest with a girl, have you?

>>7008610
No but I've been on a date once (was baited into it) and was more keen on observing a few warships and their guns than pay attention to her, with which she kept trying to call. Truly horrifying.

I DEMAND THAT ANY CUTE GIRLS IN THIS THREAD POST PICTURES OF THEIR FEET.

POST A PICTURE OF YOUR FEET AND LIKE THIS POST AND SHARE IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

>>7008619

>>7008619
This is one of those posts that gets funnier the more you read on.

>>7005263
This was nice to read. :)

how to get bookworm gf?

>>7008593
>posing for cutesy photos with your girlfriend

what a fag

>>7006702

>You'll never have books with two bookmarks, one for where you left off and one for where she left off

What the fuck, man...

>>7008009
kek

She was getting her bach then, I read a bunch of linguistics and theory of cognition to help out. It was fucking amazing. She got me my GRRM entire Song of Ice and Fire and I read her Harry Potter books too. I quite enjoyed them. But then she dropped uni and I never got around to reading the theory stuff again. Years later she dropped me aswell.

Fuck you for reminding me.

>>7008654
It's not true however, I just made it up.

>>7005237
>tfw know this feel

>>7005211
Dickens had like only one, and she was fat and boring. That was until he became megafamous and started banging sloots at the side.

>>7005352
I will never understand why people rage at this pasta, except for the existential bullshit, it is a normal self-description of someone with high esteem, maybe a little narcisist, but whatever. I probably know some people who would describe themselves in a similar way.

>>7005211
Only several? Hah! Fag!

>>7008672
Indiana Jones being strangled by a thigh-snake with bad taste in books.

>>7005253
Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? Put the pussy in a sarcophagus.

>>7005253
>tombs

>>7005352

LMFAO, NOBODY GIVES A FUCK DUDE. YOU LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING BITCH OUT OF JERSEY SHORE. WHAT, YOU WEREN'T FUCKING GUIDO ENOUGH TO MAKE THE CUT? YOUR FAKE TAN JUST WASN'T FUCKING UP TO SNUFF? NOBODY FUCKING CARES KID. CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM?! MY FUCKING ASS LOL YOU ARE SKINNY AS SHIT AND NICE FUCKING FAKE CHAIN AND EMPTY BOTTLE OF FUCKING KID VODKA. IF YOU WERE AS HARD AND "GANGSTA" AS YOU CLAIM TO BE YOU, FIRST OF ALL, WOULDN'T BE HERE TALKING SHIT AT FUCKING 8 AM IN THE MORNING AND SECONDLY YOU'D PROBABLY BE TOO HUMBLE TO GIVE A SHIT. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT EITHER WAY. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU FUCKING TWIG FUCKS WHO WEIGH LESS THAN THE ANOREXIC WHORES THEY ASSOCIATE WITH ACTING ALL FUCKING HARD AND SHIT WHEN A SIMPLE BREEZE WOULD MAKE THEM CRUMBLE.

GO GET SOME MORE FUCKING CHILDREN'S VODKA AND FAKE BRONZER AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT ANOTHER FAKE CHAIN HOW ABOUT SOME DOG TAGS? THAT'S FUCKING GHETTO RIGHT THERE YOU GUIDO FUCKING BITCH.

AND FUCK YEAH I'M MAD PEOPLE I GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME IF I'M MAD BRO B/C I FUCKING AM AND I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF FAGGOTS LIKE THIS

FUCK YOU

Are there any books that will help me get a girlfriend?