/lit/ - Literature

People suck.

>>6850888

Lol, something more constructive would be nice ;^)

>>6850883
some people can't shake the feeling that the man behind the counter is just trying to sell them something they don't want

the fact that you actually tried to sell him something he didn't want probably gave him the push he needed to consider you a schmuck

>>6850894
There's nothing else to it, just get over it

nice blog and you should have fucking listened you fucking autist

>>6850894
Some people will exploit any weakness they can find. What you need is not fiction, but philosophy/psychology. I'd recommend Locke/Hobbes.

>>6850909

I didn't really "try to sell" anything, he gets the same thing every time I see him, and I assumed it was just like any other day.

Also, he know's it was a genuine mistake, he just felt like cursing me out.

>>6850910

Thing is, this happened a while ago, but he is still unbearable and super passive aggressive every time I see him now. Its getting to the point where I'm should just tell him to fuck off. But of course I still need a job.

>>6850921

Pls go

>>6850926

How very true, best advice yet. Thanks

>>6850935
you think it's strange for a man to be explosively upset, yet you presume to know the minutiae of his intuition? listen to the mean anon and gtfo

>>6850939
Confirmation bias: the post

>>6850926
this

OP think of behaviour as clothing and people as the weather. I dont have the time to unpack the metaphor properly, but suffice to say, one set of clothing isnt suitable for all conditions of weather

>>6850948

>Explosively upset

All I'm trying to do is learn how to approach passive aggressive people in a more constructive way.

Surely you have read books with characters that face a dilemma similar to this. How do they deal with jerks?

Is my curiosity wrong? My personal details were added to make things more precise and relatable.

>>6850985

Damn, thats deep brah. I'm stealing that quote from you lol

>>6850953

?

dude doesn't seem to be a happy person. just remain stoic, you do not need to receive his rudeness with un-authentic kindness.

I'll state some thoughts that may or not relate to your case.

People who say they are "kind and civilized" usually have a condescendingly "nice" tone of voice to them that annoys anyone in search of normal, genuine interaction.

How you think you are perceived and how you are perceived don't always equate.

How he thinks he is being perceived doesn't always equate to how he is perceived. He might be doing a conscious effort to ignore what happened and appearing as passive aggressive.

I hated when people apologized to me extensively with an innocent "aww I'm shorry ;--;!!!" tone. I am usually "stoic" but when people just assume that I made a big deal of what happen that they exaggerate (and anticipate) my reaction to such extent that I end up being angry because they thought I would

if that makes sense

>>6850986
I think it would be easier to find books in which the protagonist acted in the manner of the guy you were selling to. It reminds me of Raskilnokov and Razumihin in the beginning of Crime and Punishment

>>6850985
>that metaphor

go to bed john green author of the fault in our stars

>>6850998

Stoicism is the only way to happiness my friend

>>6851006


Why is that?

>>6850986
the thing about this is that in this case, you aren't yourself necessarily. you aren't there to "relate" to the man on personal terms. you have a job to do. all that is required is a degree of respect, politeness, and for you to perform the job to the best of your ability. in the sense of the lottery ticket, he GOT WHAT HE WANTED, but it may have been delayed a second or two. that is all you can do. perform the job well, apologize if necessary. understand that people become enraged when they don't get what they want. many people also abuse those in the service industry because they have a feeling of entitlement they can't gain elsewhere. don't take it so personally. be simply an agent of wherever you're working for, and use the experience to improve your own ability. there is no "magic" trick in the sense that everyone is unique. however, kindness and respect are universally understood.

>>6850986
>learn how to approach passive aggressive people in a more constructive way

stop caring

>>6851025

Well I can agree with most of what you have written, but its obvious that although kindness and respect are universally understood, they are not universally returned.

>>6851045

Lol, man of few words!

Simple and effective solution tho

>>6851004

Hmmm, yes you make total sense.

However, as far as I'm concerned, I do not "fake" being nice or civilized, its honestly my nature.

But I agree, whether or not its my nature is relevant, how others perceive my behaviour will dictate their own, and I usually have little to no control over how people perceive behaviour.

>>6851018
Despite Raz's constant attempts to be cheery and benevolent, Rask just keeps getting angrier and angrier and keeps bitching him out. That's because he was suffering from immense guilt and was generally just depressed and misanthropic because of it.

That being said, you don't know that guy's life. It's pretty unfair to say "why is he so mean if im so nice." Maybe he felt he was being patronized, maybe he felt you were trying to pawn a ticket off on him and he thought he saw through your act, maybe he just lost his job, etc. Don't let it get to you. People have bad days

>>6851075

Irrelevant*

>>6851063
I can categorically tell you that kindness and respect are neither universally understood, nor uniform between people.

For instance, charity, even that offered in good faith, can often be misconstrued as an act of smug faux sympathy: especially where it is unsought.

>>6851083
you're wrong.

in your cherry picked example you're right, but there does exist respect between human beings on the basis of being human beings

>>6851083

You're correct, however I think you are being overly critical of what was written.

There are behaviors which registed as "kind" regardless of where you are in the world.

Eg;

Giving a starving man food

Whether or not it is out of pure altruism or egoism isn't what were are talking about.

>>6851120
I was mainly referring to some idea of "equality" in the sense that, respect is neither "bowing down" nor "putting yourself above" another being. this is what respect is. it is the treatment of another as an equal, as equal to oneself.

I also work in retail. It happens to me sometimes. Some people are just cunts.

was probably having a bad day. are you this autistic?

also sage, reported. fuck off not literature.

>>6851152

Did you ever bother to read the stuff I asked or the stuff that was written on the thread?

Obviously not, so fuck off.

>>6850883
People have internalized arbitrary notions of superiority and inferiority based on profession, which is an indirect way of saying, on class. Because he is superior to you, he feels entitled to deference, which you have given him and that he appropriately acknowledges with friendliness, and, most of all, service, servility. Not listening for that instant made him feel like he was just another transaction, a routine, rather than the superior individual you are supposed to act thusly towards because of your relative position.

>>6851098
Then tell me, what is the universal component of respect?

You will find the only one that comes close to universal is non-interference, and even that is debateable dependant on situation: for instance, is it considered universally respectful to allow someone to make a fool of themself, despite being able to stop them before it was too late?

>>6851188
yes mr. boss-man

>>6851192
Read my post. I'm not endorsing that viewpoint. I'm describing it.

>>6851189
respect is easier to understand by seeing it as "non-disrespect". i wouldn't shit on somebody's front lawn. inter-personally, its contributing either neutral or positive elements to the relationship. its not being insulting. its wanting to be constructive if you feel they need to change. its not "putting yourself" above them by pushing them down. Just don't put people down, that's respect. in your example, my answer would be, no, don't forcibly stop them, because that infringes their freedom, but if you feel that way honestly, then approach them beforehand and air your concerns. let them have the choice however. let it be known you are only trying to help them and their reputation

>>6851206
I concede your points, and will work to formulate a more cogent argument.

>>>/r9k/
>>>/autism/

>>6851188

>Because he superior to you

Lol, he's another victim of muh lottery playing.

Most of our customers aren't very well educated unfortunately. Whatever "superiority" he may or may not have felt wouldn't really be true.

>>6851242
You're missing the point. His post is exemplifying on the idea that you are a part of the service industry. Because you serve him, he is superior to you. In your negligence to treat him as such, he was offended. That's his point.

He's not saying that's right, he's just saying that it happens.

Education has nothing to do with it

>>6851242
God can you people not pick up on context? The sentence LITERALLY BEFORE says the notions are arbitrary.

Let me beat you over the head: He FEELS he is superior to your because of your profession, which is generally considered a low one. It doesn't particularly matter that he isn't a Lowell, as long as he has a higher station this is going to have this feeling, and even, if he's dumb, if he isn't.

It's like the fucking wageslave office workers sneering at garbage men, who are probably better off than them financially.

>>6851252

You're right in pointing out the service industry in particular, which has further expectations of deference tied to it, but I really think it is a generalized thing, especially in America where money is supposed to be tied directly to merit.

Ive worked in retail for 3 years now, and one thing ive learned is that apologizing to angry customers only fills them up with a sense of indignation. When customers get bitchy with me i get bitchy right back, and that usually works.

>>6850883

You work in customer service, what do you expect?

I worked in a restaurant in Sydney and I picked up some glasses I thought weren't being used anymore. Well, apparently they were and the customers abused and ridiculed me for it, even after I apologized multiple times. Every time I walked past their table they would make snide comments.

Be more resilient. If you're letting these little things get to you you're in the wrong profession.

>>6850883
same problem op.

don't build up images in your head of people like "oh he's such a nice guy" or "he'd never do x" like you know them. because something will happen and you end up getting pissed that your kindness (which might be genuine and actually not come off as fake or affected) wasn't reciprocated or at least taken into account when the guy decided to flip out on you.

be stoic. talk in a firm voice, act decisively, and never, ever be exceedingly apologetic. say "please" and "thank you" but don't gush like this dude owns you.

take it from me op: fuck that nice guy shit nigga no one gives a fuck.

>>6851391

Ya man, I think you might be right.

But it pains me to be emotionless to people who are happy and polite people.

I feel like being stoic all the time has considerable drawbacks just like being the "nice guy" all the time.

Also, care to share what occurred to you?

Cool blog post bro.

>>6851340

It's hard finding a non-retail job with flexible hours to work at whilst being a student.

It's not really "getting" to me, they are just novel experiences for me, and I'm trying to understand them better in order to handle them more appropriately if they reoccur.

bump

fuck off you dumb autist

>>6851012
>stoicism is the only way to happiness
>didn't watch Dogville apparently

Guy was just being friendly, as he probably does about 20x a day. When you fucked up, you disrupted his daily routine. This is perceived as your fault.

Just guessing here. I have a relative who acts similarly.

>>6850883
People can be jerks sometimes. I'm sorry that happened to you OP.

>>6850888
>>6850910
Stupid answer. He obviously wants a deeper answer. You come here for literature, but what if your favorite book were to be change to a one second response to the cover. "Get over it." Book's over enjoy.

Fuck, be constructive.

>>6850926
***

>>6851391
>I have often noticed that we are inclined to endow our friends with the stability of type that literary characters acquire in the reader's mind. [...] Whatever evolution this or that popular character has gone through between the book covers, his fate is fixed in our minds, and, similarly, we expect our friends to follow this or that logical and conventional pattern we have fixed for them. Thus X will never compose the immortal music that would clash with the second-rate symphonies he has accustomed us to. Y will never commit murder. Under no circumstances can Z ever betray us. We have it all arranged in our minds, and the less often we see a particular person, the more satisfying it is to check how obediently he conforms to our notion of him every time we hear of him. Any deviation in the fates we have ordained would strike us as not only anomalous but unethical. We could prefer not to have known at all our neighbor, the retired hot-dog stand operator, if it turns out he has just produced the greatest book of poetry his age has seen.
Lolita.

>>6851983
holy shit you're a retard. fuck off to /r9k/

>>6852015

Jesus christ, fuck off Gestapo. It's a personal question with a hint of literature.

>>6852009
I read Lolita twice and I don't remember this
Am I a pleb ?

>>6852009

Wow how eloquently stated, I gotta read Lolita lol

>>6852093
Not that guy, I remember this pretty clearly, it's definitely from some famous book.

>>6850883
his dead wife had a lottery addiction and got into so much debt she killed herself you insensitive prick

>>6852093
it's one of the best passages in the entire book.
ya see that '[...]'? that's not mine. that's from the goodreads quote page.
i checked that to see if I could carry the gist of it over w/o typing it all out from my copy.
when my friends and I were reading that book together, one of them was at that part of the book before me, and he was like
hey, hey, come look at this, and I read it, and, when finished, fucking tossed it back over to him, because just uuuuuuuuuuunnnnnffff.
in my own personal copy I bracketed it twice over.
another thing, I don't know if this some weird memory thing w/ me,
but if I ever read the same words over (at least in a stream of about 20), I will remember having read it and boggle my mind trying to figure out where it originally came from, at least most of the time.
you probably have a terrible memory, at the least.
that's not a very patrish characteristic tbh

>>6852116

Are you retarded? Learn to read, I said that it was his routine to buy that ticket, he just didn't want it that day...

>>6850883
stop being an american girl

>>6852118
Just checked my kindle - I highlighted it. At least I can recognize good passages when I read them; not sure how much good that does me when I don't even recognize them afterward.

>>6852147

Not American.

Also, what a retarded image.

>>6852147
nice misinterpretation of ambiguous language, fagtron
http://www.gallup.com/poll/158882/singapore-ranks-least-emotional-country-world.aspx#1

>>6852156
you're let off the hook this time bub

Some people are suspicious of those they see as "too friendly." Especially because you're a salesperson, he may view your kindness as an attempt to get something from him or even an act of condecension.
Of course, that's a shot in the dark, because i don't know either of you.

>>6852128
It was her birthday you cunt.

But really, OP probably just fucked with his autistic sort of gamblers superstition rituals and now he blames his streak of bad luck on him. People who play the lottery are per definition not rational beings.

>>6852164

Actually I think the latter is probably correct, and I'll tell you why, anon.

The dude know's I'm a university student, and as a result he thought of me as probably not retarded.

So when I made the mistake of mishearing him and printing the ticket anyway, he thought I did it intentionally, because I'm not retarded enough to do so.

Despite it being an honest mistake, and of course even the most intelligent of people make mistakes, he probably saw my apologies as a taunt.

Interestingly, I left a very crucial detail out. He actually BOUGHT the ticket that he initially didn't want.

So yeah, probably his autism took control and he's paranoid of me having malicious intent or something.

bump

>>6852233
Maybe he was trying to quit gambling. Imagine trying to stop smoking and being irritable because of it and you just go out to buy a snack or something and the guy behind the counter rings you up a pack of smokes and you sort of want them but wasn't planning on it and feel conflicted and shit.

I work at a similar place. The answer to your problem is that the guy is a pissy whiney little fag who feels like a big man because he can act like a childish asshat to customer service employees and knows they cant say shit back or lose their jobs.
Screw him over in every possible way you can from now on. When junkies come to the window I shake up their beer, grab them the warm ones too