/lit/ - Literature

/lit/izens,

Upon having found a growing discrepancy in matters, highly regarded, of religious belief on this board that I purport as an intermediate a new faith. Though we are not her champions in superstition, all her vanity is fair play.

I introduce Cyclism, our newly established religion.

As you may have noticed, all needless to say, our scripture is related to the picture you see before you. We believe in the advent of Tao Lin, our Lord and Savior. Our Lord, benighted by patriarchal appropriations, a conspirative count of statuary rape against him and his strife with reptilian critics all had its last straw. We commemorate his exodus from New York, riding his solitary tricycle down the I-78 in heavy thought, staving off his tax payments due as they were by August 17 of 2000, having opted for a needless automatic extension. The second coming of David Foster Wallace, thrice praised, infinitely jested.

Ah, but our Lord has his ways with confiding his revelations to plebs, he miraculously does! Thomas Pynchon, having by means of epiphenomenal telepathic stimulation of the intestines took a minor shit on an early draft of Taipei. As he lay wiping with a banana peel he violently shuddered, as I report to you, locating Maxwell's Demon along the margins and succeeded to trap the spook in Pandora's Box. Inspired by this, he wrote in his short-lived coprophilia-induced nostalgia wrote a most divine work to retell early in bed and later on life his fortunate quarrel with the devil, anonymously. This is the gist of it. Thus, we are presented with this holy work entitled: "Tao Lin on a Tricycle" by our prophet Roberto Pinchas, a heteronym of Pynchon's.

Truth is, we are but a token minority. We are not ones to proselytize, our soapbox is at pavement's height. We do not boast of our self-righteousness but rather our free dish of spaghetti with every confession. We accept all sort of vehicles, but skateboards are slightly inferior. Admit it, people, you can't read and skate simultaneously. We have many bicycles too, we happened to find them in this one man's garage, we presume him to be black but this is impertinent to the subject. In conclusion, the time has come oh people of the internet.

We also accept non-peer-reviewed exegetical research on our scripture, with the sole requisite of prefacing it with something witty.

Unite, Cyclists!