/lit/ - Literature

>>6740687
bubs

>>6740687
boobies are awesome

In before the semen demon poets

>>6740687
who is this dong billabong

>>6740734

A random pic I got off a Indian thread on /b/

>>6740718
i want to read this

>>6740823
What is this we are waiting to read?

that combination of hot body and ugly face is truly some godly shit

>>6740687
Whose domain this hymen?

>>6740697
>>6740705
I'm a boobs guy XD

>>6740892

Me too. Ass and feet people, I just don't get them!

Who is this man-milk mephistopheles?

>>6740687

Okay, so the archetypical 4chan user is male, no longer a teenager but not yet a responsible adult, and a closeted(?) racist. They're socially awkward, angry about video games and/or anime, and elitist. These are the traits which primarily define the protagonist in greentext stories.

The thing about 4chan is that, despite (or perhaps because of) the anonymity endorsed by the website, people are heavily encouraged to assimilate into one culture. This makes it so that the 'voice' in greentext stories rarely changes. This is useful to crafting greentexts.

The general story arcs involved in greentexts follow a standard, if truncated, plot arc. Generally we may consider the 'rising action' in a greentext story to be an amplification of the distress of the narrator, and the conclusion to be a 'punchline' where we ridicule the character.

Consider one of the most famous greentext stories: the Gamespot Spaghetti Incident. In the story, our noble hero is set out to purchase a Chinese video game: Atelier Totori. He (for we can presume he is male, given the patriarchal culture of the board) enters the shop, seeking said Chinese video game, only to be denied. The cashier, a young woman who (following stereotypes about women often upheld on /v/) knows little about games, is entirely unaware of what he's talking about.

Our hero, then, is met with his defining dilemma. He must teach the fake gamer girl in question to have taste.

This defines the rising action. Anon attempts to teach her not to be a 'casual'. This is his chief aspiration in the story -- and it's one which would resound strongly with /v/, a board dedicated to an elitist view of video games.

However, our hero also has a tragic flaw: he is socially anxious, to the point where he might be considered autistic. His media consumption has ruined his social life -- a commentary on how the members of /v/ see themselves. In this way, the story takes on an edge of satire, which is what primarily lends it its humor. And the inclusion of inside jokes insists that the author is 'one of us', which disarms the audience and discourages hostile reactions.

Finally, our narrator comes to the climax: the cashier fails to understand a word of what he's saying. Overcome with anger and shame, he burst into tears. Spaghetti flows from his pockets -- again, a reference to a previous greentext story, which instills in the audience a feeling that this is written by one of their own. He begins to shit himself profusely, and the diarrhea lines the floor.

The falling action is implied, rather than explicit. Given that /v/ considers itself to be a board of shut-ins, the average reader would be able to assume the rest of the story: driven by shame, our narrator doubled down on his life as a hermit, and is now 'writing from underground', so to speak.

I hope this example illustrates some of the basics of writing a decent greentext story! I'll be around if you have any questions.

>>6740687
Who is this gutter nutter?

>>6742984
Is this a copypasta? if not good work anon

>>6743012
doesn't look like copypasta to me

fucking sad state of this forum

*sees long post* MUST be copypasta.

>>6740687
who is that fluid druid

You know, at first I was quite dismissive of this whole greentext-as-a-literary-form thing, but as I think more about it I kinda see what people are saying. It is, in a way, the verse of the 21st century. More than that, the connection of greentexting to irony and quotation, and the inherently relatively mundane nature of greentext stories (notice how it's humorous when one encounters a greentext that describes things on an epic scale) makes for something that is quite unique and, I dare say, potentially artistic. Perhaps it is about time to bring greentext to the broader literary sphere, the isolationist proclivities of 4channers notwithstanding.

>esteeming scraps of paper from a defunct indonesian dildo factory

>>6743019
Now that's a good one.

Greentext stories are indeed a very interesting medium of storytelling, very unique.

They are done from a first-person perspective, and the way the character is depicted can have multiple effects on the audience. Often times it is a relateable, first-person story where you can really put yourself in the author's shoes. Often also, it depicts the logic of a ridiculous archetype identified by the community into a satirical situation that allows them to commit humorous, stereotypical actions.

>>6742984
Wow it's a real post

>>6743022
I'd prefer it to remain contained within 4chan. That way I can fantasize about other avant-garde forms of literature that were kept secret from society that could some day be unearthed for our pleasure.

sorry dude, it's not that exciting. replace ">" with "I" and you find it's just repetitive shitty prose, you just think it's interesting because you spend all day on 4chan and don't really read

I am going to say I am really, REALLY annoyed by the recent trend of starting greentext stories with >be me . We already KNOW you're you. This was never part of the old greentext format, and I think it's needless. It strikes me as something from Reddit.

>>6743045
did you tap that shit after the movie?

>>6743052
sperglord detected

>>6743052
bro, "be me" could possibly be the only interesting part of greentext. you see, it's not a statement...it's an invitation. now do you get? you autistic dimbulb?

>>6743052
>be me
>don't give a fuck what you think the origins are
>used to see it written as /b/ me
>the forward slashes soon stopped
>mfw >>6743052 is a faggot
>mfw i have no face

>>6743059
>implying that's him

>>6740687
>uploaded by COOLDUDE18
>uploaded by Desided.007

Well which one is it? Who is the scholarly gentleman who uploaded this stacked semen demon to the Erotic Photo Lounge?

>>6743012

It should be.

>>6743052
dayum son

>>6743012
>>6743314

Thank you! I think the culture behind greentext stories on anon imageboards is genuinely fascinating.

>>6740823
I was referring to these guys:
>>6740734
>>6740880
>>6740911
>>6742995
>>6743019

>>6743050

I don't think it's great writing, but what I think is so interesting about greentexts is that, on an imageboard where you're given the freedom to post almost anything (because of anonymity), we all generally end up promoting remarkably similar stories. It says a lot about the strength of cultural bonds in the absence of fixed identity.

>>6743398
Who is this penis shaft landing craft?

Also, does anyone else think that A Confederacy of Dunces reads like one long greentext story? It almost felt boring to me, because I felt like I'd seen it before. Which was strange, because I know that it's generally regarded as one of the best comedy novels of the last century.

>>6743398
who is this seed steed?

>>6743398
who is this coitus toitus?

>>6743398
who is the copulation patient?

Why do people call it greentext? It's clearly yellow.

>>6743398
who is this cum drum?

>>6742984
>His media consumption has ruined his social life

How does this happen exactly? Is it the result of

1.) simply not allocating enough time to social interaction

2.) the media consumption itself having a deleterious effect on social functioning (in what manner?)

3.) the *chan user's sensibilities in media becoming ever refined to the extent that they can no longer enjoy [medium] with "casual" consumers of that medium (i.e., most people) — due to the fact that they've already "consumed" most every entry-level work and find them boring to revisit; can't expect casual users to acclimate to their narrowing tastes; can't reveal their power-level without risking censure for the extent of their [medium] addiction and thus coming across as a weirdo; and don't know any comparable-level users IRL but only through anonymous message boards?

I'm just wondering since I know a few extroverts who are deep level users in [medium] but can still interact with other humans capably.

>>6743531
anon, I might have bad news for you.

>>6743531
Ikr. Why this shade of green banana?

>>6743531
[shrektext]>greentext[/shrektext]

To the anon asking about gypsies: >>/lit/thread/S6743289

>>6740687

bros, could a 6" penis satisfy a chick like that? I mean is there even a point to try?

fuck

>>6740687
Who is this hard cock warlock?

>>6743630
Google some diagrams of the vagina, anon. Women satisfy other women without a penis, *without* dildos.
It is your character, your looks above the waistline, your financial security, that women prioritize. The porn world isn't real. Length means little, girth gets uncomfortable (as I've heard) "not the size of the boat but the motion on the ocean" as they say. Don't visit /r9k/ anymore either.

>>6743644

Thank you butterfly person, you've given me a nice confidence boost.

>>6740687
Who is this splooge sponge?

>>6743644
Thanks mama butterfly. You've cheered me up.

>>6743398
Who is this vaginal carnival?

>>6743503
kek

>>6743398

Who is this penis pincer?

>>6743553

I'd say it's 1, but with an emphasis on one's formative years. I spent a lot of time playing video games as a kid which fucked up my social development. I'm better now, but if I went back to that lifestyle I'd probably still be okay at socializing.

>>6743398
Who is this peen fiend?

>>6743398
Who is this sperm worm?
Who is this boner toner?
Who is this spunk monk?
Who is this cock dock?
Who is this erection ejection?
Who is this dick tick?
Who is this cum plum?
Who is this seed steed?
Who is this prick chick?
Who is this cock stock?
Who is this seminal sentinel?
Who is this phallus chalice?
Who is this anus ignoramus?
Who is this smegma enigma?
Who is this beef curtain hurtin?
Who is this cunt runt?
Who is this jism prison?
Who is this ballbiting ballerina?
Who is this dongle mongle?
Who is this penis machinist?
Who is this chin chin bin?
Who is this scrotum sorceress?
Who is this wiener cleaner?
Who is this pole populator?
Who is this stiffy stimulator?
Who is this pillar pimper?
Who is this column culminator?
Who is this testicle tamer?
Who is this sperm specialist?
Who is this glans gladiator?
Who is this frenulum fractionizer?
Who is this foreskin fornicator?
Who is this penile private?
Who is this smut sergeant?
Who is this cock captain?
Who is this orifice officer?
Who is this rear admiral?
Who is this cummander?
Who is this lewd lieutenant?
Who is this meat major?
Who is this cunt colonel?
Who is this wiener witch?
Who is this phallus phalanx?
Who is this cock commandant?
Who is this dong deity?
Who is this seminal fluid druid?
Who is this jizz wiz?
Who is this benis burglar?
Who is this wang waxer?
Who is this schlong sentinel?
Who is this dick dastard?
Who is this jizz jezebel?
Who is this tally wacker packer?
Who is this schlong sorcerrer?
Who is this weenie genie?
Who is this chode road?
Who is this male repoductive organ gorgan?
Who is this shaft shaft?
Who is this ding dong dungeon?
Who is this scrotum totem?
Who is this ballsack knapsack?
Who is this testicle vestibule?
Who is this ball butter nutter?
Who is this cock cream captivator?
Who is this man milk mephistopheles?
Who is this smega smuggler?
Who is this cum connoisseur?
Who is this semen sommelier?
Who is this urethra barista?

>>6743850
>taking out salami tsunami

>>6743052
No greentext story is worth reading.

how can there be so many alternatives of 'semen demon' in the english language?

>>6744478
It's one of the great words, that truly reflect the inner soul of the Anglo.

>>6743052
the point isnt that the poster is "me" but that youre putting yourself in the place of "me"

>>6743630
stop watching pornography

>>6743630
6" is above average my man

Bump

>>6743850
>hours of work and derision
>good job anon
>underrated post

>>6744534

ya but so is that girl
I bet her pussy is deep

>>6746720

>>6746730
how can you tell the depth of the pussy

>>6743630
8x6 only breh

It's Green text on a blue background. Stop that low-contrast crap.

>>6746730
Will you shut up about your dick?

>>6743531
who is this...........................

>>6743644
This means very little(heh) coming from a lesbian.

>>6746752

gotta rev her up
then when shes fully dilated and wet you can't judge the depth bro
put your dip stick in and see for yourself

>>6746799
>8x6 only breh

mfw
8 is too big
probably can't go balls deep in most girls

>>6740718
>the semen demon poets
kek'd

>>6746881
Can attest. Too big for most demon demons.

>>6746861
And why would you think that?

If someone without a penis can please a woman, why not someone with a small-ish penis?
Only men seem to prioritize dick size.

>>6746720
Nice

Do a google search for "anonymously yours by Ann hiro" it's an ebook I created full of greentext stories. I created it just to see what it was like.

99 cents. Pay up, nigger

>>6743644
>tfw lesbian bjork gives your penis a peptalk

pls don't leave 4chan butters

>>6747054
I hate you so much
I hate your laws
I hate your need a cause
I hate your faux touch
I hate every last one of you
I ponder digesting razors, just to be done with you

>>6747089
>bjork
wat

>>6747050
>If someone without a penis can please a woman, why not someone with a small-ish penis?
Penises change everything man. It's like they're a homonculus, and their size justifies your existence as a person.

I mean what's the smallest dildo you can get? I can tell you about the largest, and I don't even know anything about dildoes. I'm not even sure how to pluralise it

>>6747118
They make some really small ones, dude. Fit in those little purses. And haven't you ever seen a cam girl put a sharpie in there? Who's got a dick that thin?
Again, look up the female anatomy. The clit is not buried deep inside.

>>6747099
I resemble her.

>>6747089
B-b-but I was thinking of doing that by summers end.

>>6747099
Pic related.

>>6747143
>B-b-but I was thinking of doing that by summers end.
Why though?

Kek

>>6747731
lol

>>6747735
Guess this is the "best" how depressing

>>6747731
oh good more normies.

also
>4chansbest
what a cancerous concept

>>6743398
who is this sexy bitch?

>>6748789

0/10 try again later

>>6743075
>used to see it written as /b/ me
Never seen that. > be me has been a part of green text stories since practically the very start. I don't doubt some other autist at some time has substituted the verb be and /b/, but it's not the origin.

It's a natural progression from shit like
> be OP
> have to suck several cocks every day

And removes ambiguity of person from lines like
> putting your ketchup in the fridge

>>6747018
arfff arff

post moar

>>6747143
>thinking you can leave

HAHAHAHAHA

HAHA

AHHA

no.

>>6743398
who is this spunk punk

>>6743531
it's green you nigger

>>6743052
>meme prescriptivism

>>6743553
It can be all of or none of those things or any combination. Besides that, some people are naturally quite introverted.

>(in what manner?)
If you watch porn, you learn to expect sex to be like porn. It's not. If you read romance novels, you learn to expect love to be like in romance novels. It's not. If you watch any media, you learn to expect life to be as it is portrayed in that media, and it's not. It can't be, because the media is filtered through various people's perspectives and only lasts a short while.

The best part about 4chan isn't greentext, its spoiler tags. There's so many ways to use that, from controlling sentence flow to conveying tone that they should become standard punctuation in all digital mediums.

>>6742984

great work anon much appreciated

>>6746720

genius