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/lit/ - Literature

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654671 No.654671 [Reply] [Original]

Post the last sentence you read before your mind stopped working and you couldn't understand any more.

Nightmare mode: finish the entire thing without your eyes glazing over.
Impossible mode: figure out what it's trying to say.

>> No.654700

>her tongue was a ferret
furry?

>> No.654724

>>654700
That would be a chimera, wouldn't it?

Also her tongue is a fox caught in a tiger's mouth and her hair is a jaguar's tongue, so I guess there's some kind of recursive tongue-mouth-hair thing going on.

>> No.654733

>a paragraph on her pubes
>and it actually calls them pubes, which is slang, and not literary at all, and goes against the entire diction of the description
o u

>> No.654738

>>654724

Or she (I hope it's a she) is just not that creative.

>> No.654743

>>654724
I didn't get to finish that sentence, that's when I had to stop reading

>> No.654746

>>654733
>her pubes was a field
>pubes was
>was

>> No.654753

>>654738
Nope, it's a guy. Ron Miller, and there's a trilogy of these books.

Also I stopped at
>her spine was a snake, it was the track of a snake, snake snake snake snake anaconda anaconda

>> No.654757

>>654746
hot damn I didn't even see that
I lol'd

>> No.654758

Finished Nightmare mode. I guess it's trying to say she's hot. I dunno. Did I win Impossible?

>> No.654765

>>654758
You only win impossible mode if you can figure out what she actually looks like.

>> No.654770 [DELETED] 

>>654667
ｒ E Ｍ O v E Y O Ｕ r Ｉ L L Ｅ G a L C L O N ｅ o f Ａ Ｔ ｃ ｈ r i s ｔ o ｐ h ｅ R Ｐ O O Ｌ Ｅ Ｈ t Ｔ Ｐ : / / 8 8 . 8 0 . 2 1 . 1 2 / ｉ s t h e ｏ r ｉ ｇ Ｉ N A L ｆ ａ g g o Ｔ

>> No.654776

Metaphors and similes = beautiful

I has wrote an art, you can tell by the number of words.

>> No.654779

>>654765
Oh. Well I guess she's thin, she has thin legs, she's pale, she's blonde (maybe platinum blonde), she has a pussy, she has nice nipples.

>> No.654783
File: 7 KB, 350x346, 1266136183315.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
654783

>>654671
is the rest of the book just as bad?

Impossible mode complete. I'd use paint to show you what she looks like, but it's late and i'm tired,

>> No.654808

>>654746
i raged

>> No.654816

What book is it?

>> No.654827 [DELETED] 

>>654669
ｗ o ｗ ｕ G ｕ Ｙ ｓ u r Ｇ Ｏ ｎ ｎ ａ G E T Ｓ ｏ M A ｎ y Ｓ Ｐ Ａ M ｍ e Ｓ ｓ Ａ g E Ｓ ｆ o R s Ｔ e A l i N ｇ ａ t Ｓ ｄ o ｍ A Ｉ N ｌ ｕ l l Ｌ l L L L Ｌ z ｈ Ｔ t ｐ : / / 8 8 . 8 0 . 2 1 . 1 2 /

>> No.654882

>>654816
There's a series. Bronwyn: Palaces and Prisons, Bronwyn: Silk and Steel and Bronwyn: Hearts and Armor.

>> No.654925

>>654882
are they any good?

(One can hope this is a stain in an otherwise excelent book!)

>> No.654949

>>654925
No, this is just the funniest part in a so-bad-it's-funny book.

>> No.654961

Good lord. That second paragraph has more fragment similes than my brain can handle.

>> No.654962

>>654949
You mean like The Moon Men?

>> No.654964

>>654962
Moon People?

>> No.654965

>>654962
Oh the fucking Moon Men...

>> No.654972

>>654964
Yea, that's the one.

>> No.654977
File: 97 KB, 533x1000, Bronwyn_the_Beautiful_by_maggock.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
654977

>> No.654986

Some chick puts out for this guy, and apparently she looks like a statue with a shitty haircut and a really well tended gyner.

The guy turns out to be gay, though.

>> No.654988

>>654964
Holy balls, that book...

>> No.654993

>>654962
>>654964
>>654988
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW-QZzPVpgc

Holy fuck...

>> No.654995

As Spikenard...

>> No.655000

Yeah, yeah, I've seen this a million times.

Synopsis:

>Bronwyn slipped the transparent cloak from her shoulders, presenting her nude form to Spikenard. She was a banging hot bitch with rude tits and a fat ass.

>"God damn," Spikenard commented.

You can give me my award now.

>> No.655009

>>654993
lol, I couldn't read that book...this guy's doing it for me and I'm just loling my ass off.

>> No.655017

I've read those two pages aloud in bombastic ACTING! mode without cracking a smile.

Not as much fun as the Eye of Argon though.

>> No.655019

Hold the phone, he said she's beautiful while 'grinning sardonically'. Sardonically is ironically, so he was actually kidding and she's ugly.

>> No.655029

>Her face had the fragrance of a gibbous moon

For some reason, I thought of the smell of cheese...

>> No.655060

>>655019

It more means that he's amused by someone's misfortune. To smile or laugh sardonically is to reveal Schadenfreude.

>> No.655072

>>655060
So more like 'ha ha you're naked now'.

>> No.655086

>>655072

If the author actually knew what it meant, I suppose so lol

>> No.655087

Those two pages always give me hope. If this piece of shit book can get published, then anyone can.

>> No.655133

made it all the way through one paragraph

>> No.655310

This is shit.

>> No.655339

made it halfway down the first page
fuck that.

>> No.655558
File: 462 KB, 622x349, 1254579295088.png.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
655558

>>654671

i read the whole thing....

i read the WHOLE. FUCKING. THING.

>> No.655835

I got distracted when it started comparing nipples to mercury

>> No.655850

"her thighs were geese"

lolwat

>> No.655868

>her tongue was amber
Bronwyn must chew a lot of tobacco

>> No.655874

Fifth line. I don't like the style but I'll read the rest anyways.

>> No.655899
File: 110 KB, 320x480, IMG_0652.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
655899

aaaaahahahahahahahahahahaaa haha
I forgot where I stopped, then I skimmed over the rest. describing her body in about 30 thousand different ways in two pages. it's obnoxious. and hilarious. but beautiful. a treasure I will keep forever

>> No.655921

...the fuck

>> No.655929

>>princess bronwyn
>>bronwyn
>>bro
>>bro broski

!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.655934

>>655929
It's all a rad bromance. This book just got a million times better

>> No.655936
File: 29 KB, 470x317, 071219_karason_470.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
655936

>her face had the fragrance of a gibbous moon
>my face

>> No.655979

lost it at "gibbous moon" (the fuck is gibbous?) and jumped ahead to "Her pubes was"

>> No.655996

>Her face held the fragrance of a gibbous moon
>Her PUBES were a neatly furrowed field

What the fuck am I reading?