/lit/ - Literature

this sounds like an awesome story
could you share any other details?

Having a blind girlfriend sounds hot af tbh

so u want to manipulate your gf instead of just talking about it by abusing her disability sikkk dude nice

>>6513215
She likes to sing Simple Gifts with me while holding my hands, and she has a professional-tier voice.

>>6513221
It's not abusing her disability, dumbo. It's not like I'm trying to sneak her a Catholic Bible, it would say in it somewhere it was Catholic anyway. I'm just look for a non-KJ translation that would be good for a transition to Catholicism.

>>6513225
What advantage would your gf see from "transitioning" to Catholicism? My family is Catholic but I don't understand why you feel the need to convert her.

Lol u must be ugly

>>6513228
So we can actually go to Mass together
So we can get married, if it comes to that (we could probably get permission anyway, but still)
So we can raise our kids Catholic, if it comes to that
For the sake of her soul, for Pete's sake.

>>6513231
HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING OWNED XDDDDD

/thumbs up

>>6513218
ugly person detected

Why are you trying to sneak your girlfriend into Catholicism? Just be honest about the value that you think it has and try to convert her honestly and/or by setting an example

>>6513231
Eh, I'm not really attractive. But she's really cute and thinks I'm attractive from feeling my face. I don't know if blind people have a different idea of what's attractive though.

>>6513210
>Trying to lure your girlfriend away from the pure faith of the blind to the papist rapist faith

>>6513222
> she has a professional-tier voice

Yeah...voice, OP, amirite ? ;^)

>>6513235
>So we can actually go to Mass together
You can bring her to mass. Is she going to sperg out during communion or something?

>So we can get married
Catholic Church has no problems with you marrying outside of it.

>So we can raise our kids Catholic
You still can. I know many parents who have different religions. I even know Christians who've married Jews and have made it work.

>For the sake of her soul
She's not gonna go to hell for reading the wrong Bible. Murderers can get into heaven, your gf can too.

>>6513248
She also is extremely attractive, even though she doesn't wear makeup (for obvious reasons).

>>6513240
>>6513240
Are you kidding? Think about it, you can go around fucking literally whomever you please, and she is sensorially disabled so she will be unable to sleuth you out. And to boot, when you get home there'll be a chick there helplessly waiting for you to please her

>>6513258
>You can bring her to mass. Is she going to sperg out during communion or something?
She can't even receive communion....

>Catholic Church has no problems with you marrying outside of it.
No, like I said we'll probably get the go ahead, but I'd like her to be Catholic for the sacrament, obviously

>>6513210
I'm here for the lace's sake
Don't force your religious dogma on her

>>6513268
>6513268
I suppose it would be like having a houseplant that you could fuck.

>>6513271
>I'm here for the lace's sake

https://vimeo.com/97500157

>>6513269
Why don't you be a man and tell her that you'd like to marry in the Catholic tradition, and that she's the one you want to marry ?

>>6513269
>She can't even receive communion...
Well she could. All you have to do is walk up to the priest/deacon/monsignor or whatever volunteer and say "Amen".

Regardless it doesn't have any serious importance.

>obviously
Doesn't seem to be obvious most people in this thread.

>>6513289
thanks
b-but SJ Lingerie not Agent Provocateur? hmmmm

>take her someplace, it doesnt matter where
>Tell her she is in the hood and will be raped mercilessly by niggers
>tell her you will save her from this fate and take her home if she converts to the one true catholic faith.

If she doesn't believe you walk away and come back and speak to her in your best "black" voice and fondle her a bit.

>>6513210
That is so fucking dank, m8.
What's the sex like? Does she have a guide dog? Have you stroked it?

>>6513260
Because makeup would make her less attractive?

Wait, I always believed growing up as a Catholic that both christian derivations (protestantism and Catholicism) read the same bible. Is there a different Jesus or something? Which one is from the Ultimate universe?

>>6513303
>she doesn't know what a hood is
>she doesn't know what a nigger is
>try my best black voice and fondle her
>she likes it

>>6513210
Does she have a dislike for Catholicism?

>>6513303
TOP KEK
O
P

K
E
K

>>6513313
KJV is a VERY bad translation

>>6513291
>Well she could. All you have to do is walk up to the priest/deacon/monsignor or whatever volunteer and say "Amen".
WTF are you talking about? You're supposed to be Catholic, and you're supposed to have taken Confession.

>>6513291
>All you have to do is walk up to the priest/deacon/monsignor or whatever volunteer and say "Amen".
That is a grave sin, communion is the literal body of Christ

>>6513291
nigga jesus is in there, how is that not important?

>>6513327
Seems to agree to with the NABRE to me, except it's more literary and references the Latin more sometimes: the NABRE, for instance, says in Genesis 1:6 "dome", whereas the King James says "firmament" an Anglicization of firmamentum, the term used in the Vulgate.

>>6513316
No, not really.

>>6513260
Why did you respond so calmly ans straightforwardly to an implications that your girlfriend is a professional sexgiver ? I am not pleased, anon, when I make a bantering assault on an anon, I expect some reciprocity. Did you forget the code of 4chan ethics ? How shameful of you.

>>6513354
So why don't you ask her to convert before marriage?

>>6513364
Because she doesn't agree with its doctrines. She's basically a Quaker. Also her family goes to service with her, so there's that.

>>6513306
We don't sex because we're gay Jewish Catholics
I touched her dog. She was smooth

>>6513308
Because she's blind and she couldn't apply it without another person's help? I mean she could, but if she messed up she couldn't tell.

>>6513389
What are these Quakers? I'm a europoor from a 90% Catholic country so I only know the Catholic, Orthodox and major heretic denominations.
Well have you discussed the doctrines with her and why they are right?
Also failed to mention it befoire but
>tfw no blind christian qt gf

>>6513210
>it has to be good, but I can't be blatantly Catholic or else she'll be able to tell
Just stop with this underhanded shit you fucking pussy

>>6513398
Not having it is good, she doesn't look like a cheap whore like most do.

>>6513398
help her you moron

>>6513210
Do you honestly think that Christ would

1)Want you to convert people through subversive means

or

2)Convert people for your own selfish reasons

?

>>6513406
>I'm Europoor

Quakerism began in Europe

>>6513426
>)Want you to convert people through subversive means
Yes
>Convert people for your own selfish reasons
If they are converted to the true faith sure

>>6513406
Basically she thinks everyone is a priest and that services should just be everyone together, quietly, and when someone feels like talking they should stand up and speak about God, and then when they finish then after a while someone else can too, and so one until the end of the service. She thinks all ceremony is simply ceremony, for instance she thinks having a meal with your friends in remembrance of Christ can be a communion. She likes simplicity a lot

>>6513433
So did protestantism as the major heresy, but that doesn't answer my question

>>6513434
Then you don't know Christ the King, or his message

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

People do not come to the true faith through lies and selfish trickery. They come through understanding and accepting the truth of Christ's Church, fully and with open hearts.

>>6513420
I have offered, but then she asked if I thought she would look better with makeup, and I said I didn't think she could look any better, so she responded that my opinion was the only one that mattered and that she wasn't interested in looking good for other men.

>>6513210
not counting the extra books that catholics include in the bible, there are only a handful of differences between catholic and protestant translations

the douay rheims should be right up her alley if she likes the kjv. otherwise the rsv-ce is the go-to catholic edition in the english speaking world (unless you are americuck - they have something else to be special snowflakes)

>>6513447
>People do not come to the true faith through lies and selfish trickery
So giving a good translation of the Bible is trickery?

>>6513447
Goddamn christfags stinking up this place.

>>6513449
>tfw no blind quaker gf 2.0

>>6513449
>so she responded that my opinion was the only one that mattered

i will never have this.

> tfw no gf

>>6513455
Just because the DR is in Early Modern English, doesn't make it similar to the King James. The DR uses the Vulgate as its basis, the King James uses the Masoretic text and the Greek text, and the DR is not really a great work of literature, at least not compared to the King James.

>>6513458
>we've triggered another one

>>6513468
Go back to reddit faggot

>>6513469

>>6513470
DR
>Thy pride is brought down to hell, thy carcass is fallen down: under thee shall the moth be strewed, and worms shall be thy covering. How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, who didst rise in the morning?

KJ
>Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee. How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!

You can practically sing the KJV

Here is the NABRE
>Down to Sheol your pomp is brought, the sound of your harps. Maggots are the couch beneath you, worms your blanket.” How you have fallen from the heavens,O Morning Star, son of the dawn!

>>6513492
Here is the RSVCE translation

>Your pomp is brought down to Sheol, the sound of your harps; maggots are the bed beneath you, and worms are your covering. “How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn!

>>6513210
Whatever happens, good luck OP :)

>>6513210
I'll pray for the two of you

>>6513222
I like that song

>>6513449
Speechless!!! apparently I'm the moron
May Athena bless both of you Anon

>>6513547
r u a grrl?

>>6513565
No I just have a thing for girls wearing red lipstick
ibn4 gay

>>6513225
>I'm trying to sneak her a Catholic Bible
Uh, why?

>>6513694
Get her off the heretical King James, hurp derp

>>6513699
And I'm not trying to sneak her one, I'm trying to get her to switch to one. And it won't be overtly Catholic, just a different translation

>>6513210
She'll be able t tell it's Catholic because the books will be in the right order.

Also I have a suspicion that you could me making this up

>>6513235
>So we can actually go to Mass together
Is she that autistic about where she goes? Are you? There's very little difference between an Episcopal service and a Catholic one; Episcopals just have better music ;^)
>So we can get married, if it comes to that (we could probably get permission anyway, but still)
Catholics have no doctrine preventing interfaith marriages, nor do Episcopals
>So we can raise our kids Catholic, if it comes to that
My mom is Episcopal and my dad is Catholic and I was raised Episcopal. It'll probably work out fine.
>For the sake of her soul, for Pete's sake.
Lel

>>6513708
It WON'T be Catholic, for the last time I already said I'm not going to give her a Catholic translation because of what you just said. I said it can't be blatantly Catholic, it just has to be closer to Catholic than the King James is. For Pete's sake

I'm not making it up

>>6513712
Well then you might as well just go with King James since it's the most patrician Protestant translation.

>>6513711
>better music

Depends, Catholic English hymns aren't great but if you're lucky enough to go to a church that does mass in Latin you're in for some 10/10s

Also Catholics are supposed to get permission before they marry non-Catholics

>>6513723
Most of the Catholic services I've been to have pleb-tier gospel music. All the Episcopal services I've been to use like medieval hymns in Middle English, German and the occasional Latin or French. Shit's nice.

>>6513711
She was baptized Episcopal and goes to an Episcopal church, but she and her family are basically Quakers in theology and hold Quaker services at home with friends from other churches.

How did you know she was Episcopalian? Are from /tv/?

>>6513235
Her soul's name is Pete?

>>6513738
No, I'm just not retarded and know who commissioned the KJV.

>>6513736
Yeah, to be fair Catholics have only been making hymns in English for ~50 years whereas episcopalians have hundreds of years worth of great hymns. Honestly the Catholic church really needs to encourage Latin more, it's sad to see 1000 year old hymns go unused and replaced by hippie garbage.

>>6513738
>hold Quaker services at home with friends from other churches.
Jesus she sounds based.

If I want to read the bible for the first time which one should I go for? I'm a baptized but non-practicing Catholic if that makes any difference.

>>6513779
Robert Alter's Old Testament and Lattimore's New Testament are your only literary options apart from the KJV

>>6513790
Well, there are also predecessor's the King James, such as Geneva and Tyndale, but might as well go King James if you're going that route.

>>6513790
All right. Is this stuff a good read or do you do it purely for theological reasons? Either way I'll still do it.

>>6513747
You realize that the KJV is pretty much the default mainline Protestant bible, right?

Which translation of the bible is most accurate to the original manuscripts? I'm thinking of getting whatever that would be, a KJV, and the Common English Bible.
>inb4 Oxford

>>6513799
I'm an atheist, I read it for literary reasons. I recommend the Norton Critical King James

>>6513851
There is no original text. We have the Dead Sea Scrolls, which are only part, the Septuagint, the Vulgate and the Masoretic text.

There's also issues with language. "The quick and the dead" in King James is accurate in Early Modern English, because "quick" meant "living" back then. And "Faith, hope and charity" is accurate too, because "charity" back then didn't just mean "giving money to people".

King James is closer the original, at least as close as contemporary translations. It's just important to make sure you understand how the English works, meaning it's a good idea to get the Norton Critical, since it has commentary on both the Early Modern English and the Hebrew being translated.

>>6513839
Mainline Protestants are becoming more liturgical and theologically similar. The Methodist Church is in full communion with the Lutheran Church, the Lutheran Church is in full communion with the Episcopal Church. Hell, I'll be the World Communion of Reformed Churches will be in communion with Anglicans eventually.

>>6513903
I have NKJV, which is supposed to be an updated KJV, but it's not as pretty. I want CEB because I'm a United Methodist btw.
>>6513917
That might just be CLEM in action, though.

>>6513389
if you really love her you'll convert to Quakerism instead of trying to convert her

I'm Catholic btw

>>6513210
New Jerusalem is a high quality catholic translation.

>>6513925
All refinement of the translation besides shit like standardized spelling has been terrible. The King James was the last literary English Bible produced by a church.

If you want a CEB, I recommend you read Robert Alter's translation. He uses the same conventions, but he takes great care to be literary in his translation, which the CEB really doesn't. pic related

>>6513927
You don't "convert" to Quakerism, they're a religious society of friends, not a denomination.

>>6513268
but why anon

Post her tits or GTFO

>>6513944
>elsewhere describes an eagle fluttering over its young and so might have a connotation of parturition or nurture as well as rapid back-and-forth movement
10/10

>>6514022
The DFW version.

>>6513269
Oh no she cant eat a cracker
I lmao at catholic communion its so fake

>>6513950
Then join her religious society of friends or whatever man, do I have to do all the thinking for you

why are these chicks awkwardly dancing and their clothes keep changing

>>6514069

>>6513289

>>6513944
he's on this if anyone cares
http://gen.lib.rus.ec/search.php?req=Robert%20Alter&column=author

Robert Alter also wrote this apparent beauty
http://gen.lib.rus.ec/book/index.php?md5=9eed0f1f02f63c5ddaf54915dec097eb

>>6513210
The Douay-Rheims is the standard for English speaking Catholics. It, with Tyndale's bible, were progenitors of the King James Version.

They're not the truest translations, but they're great to read. They were meant to be spoken aloud, with weight given to the words and obsolete words from Middle English (thee, thou, etc.) to give it that ancient and authoritative feel.

>>6513210
is her name lily?

you should write some greentext stories for us all.

the pale middle girl with red lipstick from the beginning keeps eyeballing the others. so hot.

>>6513389

Get her to read "The Catechism of the Catholic Church". She probably doesn't know what the doctrines even are and has a typical twisted protestant fantasy of them in her head.

>>6514366
>It, with Tyndale's bible, were progenitors of the King James Version.
The Douay Rheims OT was written after the King James, and there isn't evidence it had any bearing whatsoever on the King James NT. However, the King James was used as a point of reference for the DR OT.

>>6513210
>Mfw this webm

>>6514576
all wet yet ?

>>6514576
I would watch it to see what the fuss is about, but I'm doing No Fap with my friends and am afraid that it comes too close to pornography.

>Mfw the rest of this thread

>mfw butterfly accepts Jesus and joins the convent

>people dont realize this thread is just satire of an actual believer in 2015
>meant to display how rare the believer is today
>god is really dead in society even if membership rates are high etc. etc.

>>6514604
nah, try it. don't worry, it's safe to watch. it's a reverse-arousal video where they actually get dressed into something less appealing.

>>6513210
>blind gf

Making love to her is like raping her, to both you and her. You have total liberty and she is totally dpeendant on you.

BEST FETISH OF ALL

>>6514626
>I don't believe in God therefore nobody else, including strangers on the internet do either.

>>6514630
I just watched it, and I am still pure.

>>6514643
this thread is just displaying how religion is equivalent to any other dogmatic belief or ideology

his argument for why he wants her to convert pretty much directly parallels that of the rationale behind any "scientific" dogma: eugenics, imperialism (now the spread of democracy), communism etc ETC

>>6513242
Was she born blind? Do her eyes move around a lot in her head?

I like the NJB and old Jerusalem Bible.

>>6514621
I was born into a protestant sect (Why do you observe the sabbath on the first day of the week? The "Last supper" doesn't mean you can stop observing passover) Baptized (like Jesus, in adulthood, full submersion)

Perverted Catholics. I'd sooner join Hellenisimo and make offerings to the sweet lesbian goddess Artemis.

>>6514693
No, it was an accident when she was a child. She was given a braille KJB when she was in the hospital, and she didn't know how to read braille yet so she slept with it like a teddybear until she did know (she still uses that same Bible and still sleeps with it though, at least she's told me so). So it's tricky separating her from it

Thanks for the recommendations.

>>6514604
No Fap is not healthy, I was just reading that ejaculating once every three days reduces risk of prostate cancer

>>6514710
if this is a concept for a novel it sounds pretty neat

i like "slept with it like a teddybear"

All you atheists in this thread need to read Freud and Lenin on religion like now.

>>6514710
Isn't the KJB braille bible massive? Like many volumes? Pic related

Do her a favor and read the annotations along with the work in the case of Shakespeare. There's a lot of subtly lost without knowledge of the time's slang.

>>6514604
Time enough for no fapping in your senility, anon.
Seriously degenerative behaviour.

>>6514732
Hers is just one volume, but it is really big.

>mfw reading this thread
I had no idea I could covet my neighbor's wife this hard

>>6514483
The New Testament was a huge influence on the KJV and the English language.>>6514576

>>>/r9k/18576095

What's the deal, /lit/ not good enough for ya OP?

>>6513210
>I want to get her into Catholicism

>>6514974
Ebin bullshit, m8. The King James Bible is basically a revision of the Geneva Bible.

>>6513210
No you don't. Get a job Ignatius. This isn't one of your Big Chief tablets.

>>6513210
>not using Young's Literal translation supplemented by Everett Fox, Robert Alter, and Jewish Publication Society translations of the OT

>>6513210
>np: Swans - Soundtracks For The Blind
>this thread pops in

>>6514800
> sinner detected

...

> me too though ;)

>>6514977
Why the fuck would you go with this thread to /autism/?

>>6514727
>>6514710
I would read this. HARD.
I don't even know what the plot would be, but I want a character, in a book, like that.

>>6514977
he also put one on /pol/
he has three running threads on three different boards, all on the same topic

>>6516037
Only one good thread I assume?

>>6515074
10/10

>>6513210
>trying to connive against and manipulate blind gf
Poor woman, do you also make faces at her?

>>6513458
Indeed

>>6514722
pure ideology

>>6513327
Lol, is this what Catholics actually believe?

>>6516037
No, they're all generally okay.
I've read all three.
/pol/ is the one, though, that makes very bad jokes.

>>6516040

>>6516270
whoops

>>6514988
What's wrong with Catholicism?

>Reading translations

What does she look like?

the story fuckin sux so you might as well read kjv for the prose

>>6517430
this, gib pics

>>6517430
>>6517474
I have only one pic of her that she took for me, and I'm not about to post it online. She's holding up a sign she made for me that I helped her with by guiding her hand that says: "God loves you and so do I."

In apperence, she looks a lot like Jennifer Connelly except with red hair and freckles

>>6517519
post nudes or she doesn't exist

>>6517519
lies

>tfw no qt pi blind gf

Why even live

>>6517519
can you at least post it w/o her face?
you can scratch that out, even if it would ruin the picture.
i want to see the sign, at least.

>>6517532
Reasonable assumption, except several people have said she looks like that, including people we didn't even know

>>6517558
No, and I'll tell you why: because such a picture might become a meme and end up circulating a lot on 4chan and seep throughout the net. True, she could never see it, but I'm still not comfortable with that.

>>6513210
What the fuck is that video from. Please tell.

>>6513291

>>Reddit level retarded

>religion
This thread must be purged.

>>6518781
read the goddamn thread

>>6518778
not even just the sign?
why are you so afraid it'll become a meme?

>>6518781
A new line of lingerie https://vimeo.com/97500157

>>6519357
ah the always helpful butters

>christianity

>>6519357
Butters, do you post on [s4s]? I've seen someone with the same name there but I dunno if it's you

If there is a god why did he make you ugly and your whore blind?

Checkmate Jainists.

>>6519367
Yes, and /lgbt/

>>6519400
Ooh right, that's the other one I was thinking of.
Patrician/10 :^)

>>6513210
Translation of bible don't important. Fundamental of of bible is interpretation and conjectures made by priests and everyone.
And all similar in all others religions.

>>6519405
:^)

>>6519357
Now we need to know who those women are. Well, not the blond.

>>6519405
>>6519419
=)

>>6519458
Ikr? The blonde underwhelmed me too.

>>6519472
Zeta! What've you been doing with yourself lately? Posting anonymously?

>>6519490
you dont wanna know man