/lit/ - Literature

>>6468435
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."

This is the fucking worst. Out of all the shit in this terrible example of 'writing', this is the fucking stupidest shit I have read. The fact that these progressive parents just support whatever retarded shit that their deluded, retarded, cancer ridden daughter spews out is indicative of why our society is quickly falling into degeneracy and idiocy.

>>6468435
>When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.

>That everything is on fire, slow fire, and we're all less than a million breaths away from an oblivion more total than we can even bring ourselves to even try to imagine...

Woah. I can't even.

>>6468472
Stop trying to frame dfw.

>implying any of that even compares to the "metaphor" of the cigarrete in that dude's mouth

Why do you post this thread every day?

>>6468435

JUST

>>6468502
FUCK

>>6468502

DON'T

>>6468435
You aware that guy built a whole fucking book on the concept of infinity and ultimately hollowed it out worse than a pumpkin on halloween?
Thats the same guy that put the world's most hardcore feminist who happens to be the hottest chick alive in a book that is named after her, and then made all the male characters worship her even though she was mentally unstable.
Yeah, buddy. The way he writes isnt the worst thing about his career.

>>6468459
pretty sure it was meant sarcastically, captain autismo pepto bismol

>>6468510
wow he actually didn't

>>6468527
>Implying John Meme Green actually has the skill to incorporate sarcasm into his work

>>6468435

>Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them

Marketing. Holy fuck, you can find the answer to that in five seconds on google. Try living with the knowledge that things, including you, are uncanny spooks.

why is he so effortless with his triteness?

>>6468544
Marketing may be a spook, but "marketing" is even more of a spook.

>"Are you serious?" I asked. "You think that's cool? Oh, my God, you just ruined the whole thing."
>"Which whole thing?" he asked, turning to me. The cigarette dangled unlit from the unsmiling corner of his mouth.
>"The whole thing where a boy who is not unattractive or unintelligent or seemingly in any way unacceptable stares at me and oints out incorrect uses of literality and compares me to actresses and asks me to watch a movie at his house. But of course there is always a hamartia and yours is that oh, my God, even though you HAD FREAKING CANCER you give money to a company in exchange for the chance to acquire YET MORE CANCER. Oh, my God. Let me just assure you that not being able to breathe? SUCKS. Totally disappointing . Totally."
>"They don't kill you unless you light them," he said as Mom arrived at the curb. "And I've never lit one. It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing."
>"It's a metaphor," I said, dubious. Mom was just idling.
>"It's a metaphor," he said.

It's a metaphor, you guys.

>>6468459

>using "degeneracy" outside of /pol/

back to your containment vessel

>>6468674
It's a metaphor.

>>6468544
you can answer a lot of questions asked in books.

I don't know why you guys are so hard on John Green, he isn't much worse than all the other popular YA writers out there.

>>6468674

find me the teenage girl who talks like that and i will livestream my sudoku

god i hate americans

Green ain't got shit on EL James

>"I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto."

http://www.digitalspy.com/movies/feature/a512275/50-shades-of-grey-23-funniest-quotes-from-el-jamess-novel.html#~pbbX9IMqSHh0Qt

>>6468723
Cultural Marxism

>>6468435
My roommates gf did something similar to this when we were all eating breakfast. So I made us all a vindaloo curry the next morning.

She said she'd stick with cornflakes.

>>6468743
>"My very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba."

>>6468747
That's...actually a humorous and effective way to respond to the stupid shit that teenagers say and do.

>>6468459

Came here to post this exact line. Up until there it was tolerable, but the minute I read this I scoffed, dropped, and lolled.

>>6468527

And I don't think so anon. In fact, in giving him the benefit of the doubt, I'm starting to suspect that you might have mild autism. Have you seen John Green's youtube videos? He's despicably sincere while at the same time being weirdly affected.

>>6468769
I'm not that guy but it wasn't sarcastic nor was it perfectly serious. I imagine it as rather apathetic, the mother humoring her teenage daughter who has clearly been through a lot.

Maybe you're autistic for being unable to imagine any other narrative than the one you came up with yourself. Autistic doesn't mean dumb you know.

>>6468459
You kidding, right? That was the only tolerable line. Mother is either sarcastic or dismissive (says whatever without paying any attention).

>>6468435
Someone said on here he's trying to channel Holden Caulfield in a way. It seems plausible in a way, without the bitterness.

>>6468709
I think it's probably because he's one of the better ones. Green loves a lot more literature and history than other YA writers, so he tries to sell himself as particularly sophisticated. Then he turns around and writes this garbage. We at /lit/ also try to sell ourselves as particularly sophisticated, so it's like being betrayed by one of our own.

>>6468674
>giving money to cigarette companies
>enabling them to give other people cancer
>it's just a metaphor

>>6468459
So much edge. Virgin detected.

>>6469041

>>6468674

is every line in a JG book this awful?

How the fuck does this guy make so much money + film adaptations while the most I get is anonymous anime lovers telling me how shit I am

>>6469050
By appealing to simple audiences

>>6468674

>>6468753
That's not even half as bad as people think. Christ, the bitch is a millionaire now.

>>6468493
Seriously, fuck the cigarette metaphor. Stupidest shit I have ever read.

>>6468674

young adults do not say 'freaking'. They say 'fucking'.

>>6469139
I said freaking and fucking interchangeably in high school. It's a shit book no doubt, but you're grasping at straws.

What was the YA equivalent pre-1970s literature? Seems like that's when shit really started getting commercialized

>>6469050
Because he appeals to the sort've shallow pop intellectual teenager who would find that exchange 'witty' the kind of person that loves movies Garden State, 500 Days of Summer, and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and says 'It's like they filmed MY life!' after they watch them. Hee appeals to stupid teenagers and 20-somethings who are just smart enough to realize how stupid most people are and think they're superior for realizing it.

>>6469158
This is actually quite accurate, since this depicts my ex perfectly.

>>6469158
But I thought 500 Days of Summer was a cute movie

>>6469197
Well, well, well look what we have here....

>>6469197
Just because you found it cute doesn't mean you found it intellectually stimulating in the least... right?

>>6469156
Nancy Drew? Mark Twain?

>>6468435
>"How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it's just words."

>Just remember, the way you think about a person isn't the way they actually are.

>You spend your whole life stuck in this labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be.
>Imagining the future keeps you going, but you never do it.
>You just use the future to escape the present.

>>6469247
>How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it's just words

Retard, you realize this is a DFW qutoe

>mfw people are talking shit about my husbando

>>6469328
bitch got got

>>6468514
Who are you referring to? I didn't see this in TFiOS

>>6468472
so profound

>>6469353
He's talking about Looking for Alaska and TFiOS.

>>6469016
This. It's sort of like john green writes false advertising for what literary fiction actually is, and in the process he just gets teenagers hooked on his brand of YA shit.

>>6468697
This. I hate these pol scumbags.

>>6469331
>likes JG
>frogposting

No surprise there.

>>6469382

>>6469156
People didn't write books about teenagers for teenagers until the 70s or 80s. My mom told me when she was a kid everybody read flowers in the attic because it contained incest.

>>6469328
You took the bait

>>6469047
>so much edge
{citation needed}

>>6469383
I don't like his writing I just want him to spell DFTBA with his tongue while rimming me

>>6469387
But where will I blame women and Jews for my shitty life?

>"What is the difference in being alone with another and being alone by one's self?"

>>6468500
No friends...
No interests
..no ambition
..no goals

basically the same reason anyone comes to /lit/...because they are worthless people with nothing to do because they don't understand that to actually be successful you have to....work...at....something...

>>6468544
No...it has a lot more to do with what could be prepared in the morning or set out before etc etc..

but okay middle school anarchist socialist che loving capitalist hating hippie

>>6469154
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say freaking
(as far as my peers are concerned) even before we started cussing...seriously. Who the fuck says freaking?

>>6469331
He has a wife that's hotter than you, hambeast.

>>6469446
This freaking board

>>6469425

stop doing .... you person-shaped turd

>>6468459
>can't even detect obvious sarcasm in shallow YA

Why do you think you have the brain capacity to comment on the general state of our society again ?

>>6469340
>>6469397

Is the meme putting quotes next to John Green but they sound faggy because he said it?

>>6468747
>not eating curry for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday

>>6469446
I've heard the word used hundreds of times. Maybe it's a midwest thing.

>>6468798

Well what threw me off wasn't my inability to imagine the dialogue taking place; trust me, I've visited a lot of really odd families of my friends over the years. What threw me off was the fact that the mother flings this platitudinous life lesson, 'pick your battles dear!', and then pseudo-sincerely adds, as an almost indulgence, a strangely articulated phrase using the word 'champion' that, at the surface, is meant for support, but at the core just seems like, as you said, nothing but humoring, humoring after an evidently honest proposal of a life lesson. Maybe you're right, maybe I'm autistic, but to me it just doesn't add up as organic.

>>6469685
Now that's even more autistic.

>>6468674
How the fuck does this even work? Does he buy cigarettes with the intention of other people asking him about it? Does he throw them away after they're gone? Or does he keep the same cigarette and put in his mouth and then back into the pack?

>>6469139
This is something i never understood about YA. It's all about relating to teens or whatever, but it's still written like it doesn't want to use R rated language even though teenagers, like everybody else, curse all the time

What really pissed me off about this movie is its supposed to be about a girl with Stage IV cancer and she looks normal and cutie as fuck. No side effects of the meds. No hair loss. No muscle wasting etc. Stage IV means she's literally on her last legs and they just stick a fucking respiratory pump in her nose and act like "hurr durr its a movie about hope"

That totally ruined it for me. She was just too healthy and unrealistic for a terminal cancer patient

>>6469812
but if she were skinny all the fat girls who read this trash wouldn't be able to self insert

>>6468674
>hamartia
>mfw I had to google this word
>mfw a supposed 17 year old has a biger vocabulary than me

>>6469812
even tragedy has to be sanitized once you reduce yourself to a certain stratum of trash

>>6469158

well stated

>>6469828
Bro do you even into Aristotle's Theory of Tragedy?

Why is the captcha making me pick out pictures of fucking bread

>>6468435
The opening kind of sounds like Seinfeld.

>>6469749

Why

don't you know my ability to function in social settings is completely unparalleled by even the most astute and conscientious of extroverted souls, so much so that I can flatter an entire cafeteria full of women with ease and assert my ever present alpha male dominance over subordinate subjects with no more than the show of my hand; my charm and charisma knows no bounds; my perceptions into the souls of others are confined by no limits; I am the synthesis of the offsprings of JFK and Marilyn Monroe, and Sigmund Freud and Mother Teresa; my genetics support the utmost social capabilities that in expressing them to you you have no other option than to either buckle under the awesome force, or flee in shameful inadequacy. In summation, anon, I fuck bitches AND get money.

>>6469896
If you take out the parents and put in a couple of equally baffled, neurotic, and self-absorbed characters who are definitely assured that they are definitely right (even when they know they're definitely wrong), then that quote is indistinguishable from a Seinfeld episode.

Fuck, now I'm re-reading it in Costanza and Jerry's voice.

>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Jerry, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich!"
>Costanza answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime!"
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Jerry," Costanza said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, I'll stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," Kramer added, and laughed.

>>6470600

You forgot

>[bass solo intensifies]

>>6470600
>IT'S A METAPHOR, JERRY

>>6468674
Does he actually capitalize those six words in there? That is the plebiest of the pleb.

>>6470658
CASUS BELLI
A
S
U
S

B
E
L
L
I

>>6470600
>>6470621
>>6470658
This is the first time I've actually enjoyed John Green. Thank you, /lit/.

>>6470600

You're fucking brilliant .

>>6469331
>filename: mad frog

>>6470600
Greatest thing I've read all week.

>>6470600
Should had been George complaining and Jerry not caring too much.
Kramer should had appeared out of no where to say that line.

>>6470600
Kek. This can be done to a lot of cringeworthy bits of Green's writings, I assume.

>>6470600
fucking top work anon

>>6470943
THIS
and also Kramer's part would need some slap stick, even though, he afaik improvised it.

>>6468435
That egg conversation could have been cute, but then it went on too long and nsfw everyone involved look like an ass, John Green included.

>>6470943
I think they all sound like Jerry. The characters' voices are not distinct.

>>6469391
what is Nancy Drew?

what is I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about because I never read anything that predates Harry Potter?

>>6471656
Are you that guy on here that writes Seinfeld fanfiction?

>>6468472
>>6468489
That line is clearly better written than any of the real excerpts. I didn't even immediately recognise it as DFW so for a brief moment I reluctantly believed that I had enjoyed a John Green line.

>>6468674

>Author purposefully writes teenager as pretentious and misguided, y'know, like most teenagers, in a book aimed at teenage girls
>pseudo-intellectual adult men spend their time criticising his work based on misinterpretations on a Laotian claymation BBS

Green is not writing for you or me

>>6471689
There is literally no reason not to believe that John Green himself is a pretentious moron. When has he ever indicated otherwise?

>>6471699

I've only seen some of his history videos and a few of his vlogs. The vlog stuff doesn't interest me and the history vids were clearly aimed at high schoolers and were simplistic and fairly reductive but at no point did he ever seem particularly pretentious to me. I agree adults really shouldn't be reading his books but to criticise the books themselves is pointless, it'd be like if /mu/ had threads dedicated to shitting on Bieber.

The dialog OP posted is no more artificial and ludicrous than dialog featured in the likes of Franzen, DFW, and Eugenides.

YA seems to be an easy target, but if you compared and contrasted, you'd find that "adult literature" isn't far off.

>>6471710
That's nowhere near DFW's dialogue . I can't speak for Franzen and Eugenides

>>6471707
>particularly pretentious
So you did find him a little pretentious. Gotcha.

>>6471722

No more so than the average person, Green is far less pretentious than the average /lit/ poster.

>>6471710
>The dialog OP posted is no more artificial and ludicrous than dialog featured in the likes of Franzen, DFW, and Eugenides.

If you can't discern the gulf in quality between Wallace and Green you are a poor reader. Haven't read Eugenides but I did read some of The Corrections and it was trash so you may be right there.

>>6471676
I wish.

I forced myself through paper towns last month and can report that it's not much better

>protag spends most of the book fapping over manic pixie dream girl then suddenly in the last 20 pages realizes 'omg.. she's a person', so JG gets sjw support but still can cash in on teenaged hormones
>more smug dialogue
>token black friend (who's a fan of the mountain goats? seriously? no black person is a fan of the fucking mountain goats)
>constant complaining about THOSE DAMNED JOCKS!!
>johnny green even fucks up and switches from past to present tense for a couple pages

I've never wanted wedgie an author before but here we are

>Augustus Waters did not die after a lengthy battle with a cancer. He died after a lengthy battle with human consciousness, a victim - as you will be - of the universe's need to make and unmake all that is possible.

I liked this bit. Am I pleb?

>>6471991
yes

>>6472029
shit taste, it's good

if you ignore your biases it's a strong phrase

>>6471991

>That quote

>>6471943

>implying he messed up
>implying it wasn’t a conscious decision
>needing the author to spell things out for your autistic ass

not even a fan of JG, but come the fuck on anon

>>6472080
>trying to correct me on something you obviously haven't read
>I didn't imply he fucked up, I stated it
>implying I don't have basic reading skills

there was literally nothing important or expository happening in that scene. he was talking with his friends about some clues. protag wasn't delusory or depressed or having a panic attack. jg fucked the fuck up and idk why you're defending him on a vegetable gardening forum

>>6472138

>someone challenges you
>adhominemadhomienemadhominem
>why do you care it doesnt even matter dude just agree with me

I've read the book, you missed something with that scene.

>>6472042
No it's not

>He did not die after a lengthy battle with a cancer

Yes, he did

>He died after a lengthy battle with human consciousness,

He died after a lengthy battle with being aware? Alri. Wasn't aware he spent most of the novel off his tits bombed out of his mind on acid and dmt. then again, I only watched the movie because I thought I'd get a blowie out of it. It was fucking shit and so was the blow job.

>a victim - as you will be - of the universe's need to make and unmake all that is possible.

lets split this into two parts

>a victim of the universe's need to make and unmake all that is possible.

it's too broad, and open ended a statement, and obvious in it's attempt at depth, but it has something fundamentally wrong with it. Not in the way that makes you go "wow deep shit cormac brah pass the dank", but in a way that makes you go "ugh what a ponce". Is the universe supposed to be some replacement for the god figure, making and remaking without emotion? Because it is not the first part of that, and doesn't do the second. It's life that brings us to be, and life that tears us apart, circumstance alone. The universe is just the place that it happens.

>as you will be

A pointless and banal addition to the sentence that tries to make it sound intelligent. Reminiscent of DFW's "And but so" but without the quirk that makes it endearing. It's a faux quirk

>>6472149
actually no, sorry, I misread the "as you will be" bit, it's not a desperate attempt to sound intelligent. It's something worse. It's the author addressing the reader, outside of it's necessity.

>>6472148
>strawmanning my adhominem
>you're wrong but I won't explain why

what am i even reading lol. the change of tense still seems insanely out of place to me.

>>6468747

Curry is disgusting shite made to cover up rotten meat. The taste isn't even good, plebs like it because they haven't developed a sophisticated pallet and cannot taste subtle differences in food.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOWTeQiaFv0

>tfw u will never do a selfie vid w cara ;_;

actually idgaf

>>6470600
good job bro

>>6473470
She is so fucking ugly.

>>6473499
your soul is ugly

inb4 you come in with some fedora tipping nonsense against the idea of a soul

>>6473503
She is fuck ugly though mate, plus JG has clearly been balls deep in her.

>>6473510
a true poet can see the beauty in people's faces.

you are an impostor here.

I thought this one was good:

>"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane."

>>6468435
>>6468674
I'm only really bothered by how stereotypical the characters are. Stereotypically angsty, rebellious, navel gazing teen. Stereotypically sarcastic "oh you teens" parents. Like these could have been better but the writer feel back on whatever he saw in television, movies and other similar books to this.

When I was a teen I might have ate it, but I don't know how someone could write or swallow something like this and not feel shame, insult or indigestion.

>>6468435
Well yeah the whole point of that book is that teenagers think everything has to have this earth shaking importance, but in reality it doesn't. His prose highlights that fact.

That's one of them "jokes" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>6468435
I was imagining the breakfast foods scene as a skit on Seinfeld. I don't know how much better it is because I am incapable of separating the two concepts to see what he intended.

>>6474640
Nevermind, I just read the thread.
>>6470600
Thank you /lit/.

>>6473631
maximum cuck

>>6470621
https://soundcloud.com/mcmangos/what-if-seinfeld-theme-song

>>6469382
>>6468697
You do know "degeneracy" is word that existed way befor the birth of /pol/?
I'm not trying to defend the board but you're just as annoying

>>6473631
you must like blink-182 songs then

>>6473631
most of the time i dont even hate john green but this is suuuuper shit

>>6470600
10/10 (I'd say 8 of 10 normally, but I just binge-watched Seinfeld yesterday so I'll be generous)

>>6473631
>Not fuck
>Not even have sex
Er... Isn't that the same thing?

>Shits on Aristotle whenever he can
>Nothing but praise for Thomas Aquinas

...?

>>6475634
>Isn't that the same thing?
Apparently not: 'fuck' is 'like in those movies', 'have sex', apparently, isn't. (I wonder what kind of 'movies' he habitually watches, hmmm.)

>>6470943
>>6470600
This. That is a george thing. You fucked up

>>6471689
>Laotian claymation BBS

Took me a while to get it. Lel.

>>6468472
the ellipsis is pretty funny

>>6471710
>eugenides
That's not fair, none of the classical Greek playwrights had good dialogue.

>>6473711
what country are you from?
i need to know

>>6469212
Different person, but I found it fun and not particularly intellectually stimulating. Though I do think that given its main audience of quirky just SLIGHTLY 'alternative' people, especially the amount of brooding moody males in that demographic really NEED to hear the central message for the protagonist to just "stop being such a goddamn bitchnigga who invests so much of his self-worth in relationships and develop yourself for your OWN sake".

>>6469425
>projecting

>>6468710
Seppuku?

>>6469158
apt, my good fellow.

>>6468435

John, scrambled eggs are a breakfast food because they're cheap, quick to make, easy to stomach, full of the nutrients you need to start the day.

You try to start the day by making roast beef and boiled potatoes. See if you get to work on time.

Oh wait, no, you sit about in your undies writing reprehensible shite all day.

>>6476524
demolished

>>6473631

That would be fine if Alaska wasn't an insufferable prat.

>>6476524

fucking rekt

>>6476366
get out of this website while you still can, newfriend.

>>6468435
Why do you guys have this thread almost daily? Picking on YA literature, by your own admission, is like picking on the handicapped kid. I'm fairly certain John Green is entirely aware of the shit he writes. That's why he's so popular. He knows exactly how to hook his teenage, brooding, pretentious audience. Just watch his youtube channel. He knows exactly how to get the tumblrettes sucking his dick. Somehow, I doubt its accidental.

I'm also willing to bet some of you hate him simply because you didn't do this pure exploitation of your audience first.

>>6476366
LURK MORE

>>6468493
The metaphor which, in case you didn't get it, was explained in the very next paragraph.

>>6477162
And was only a metaphor in the eyes of the try hard character, not the novel.

>>6472138
Scan or post a picture of the scene you're referring to
I want a laffo

>>6469798
the last one is true, at least

>>6469154
I honestly don't think I've ever heard anyone over the age of eleven say freaking, mind you I don't live in America and just assuming it was only a thing there

>>6473510
I thought she was making messy, strung out on heroin love to Annie Clark?

But, I eat curry for breakfast frequently.

>>6477185
>>6477162

HOW FUCKING VAPID
HOW FUCKING OUTRIGHT APATHETIC
CAN YOU BE
TO STRAIGHT UP WRITE A CHARACTER SAYING "It's a metaphor"
HOW FUCKING INSANE
HOW MUCH DO YOU NOT HAVE TO GIVE AN OUNCE OF A SHIT TO WRITE THIS

>>6469158
nail on the head, my friend

>>6469891
Because it's a half-baked system to begin with.

>>6476872
>is like picking on the handicapped kid.
Welcome to 4chan.

Why won't he just grow up? How long can he write this tripe?

>>6478300
translation: "I enjoy watching my wife suck big black cocks

>>6478300
ok so like i dont think you should judge women for how many people they have slept with but like can we stop making idiotic analogies

like yeah that would be absurd if cheerios spoke to you like that because CHEERIOS DON'T FUCKING TALK jesus christ

>>6478306
Holy shit you guys are fucking retarded. Pick on him for whatever, most of it is valid, but "cheerios dont talk dumbass" is really low tier.
I feel like that fucking guy saying this, but its an analogy. Not to be taken literally.
You really are autistic arent you.

>>6478304
>>6478306
basically the only people who get pissed off about this are guys who have had very little sex and are mad that their partners might have fucked more people than them.

>>6478300
Wow, I thought /lit/ was joking but he really is a cuck

>>6478384
... or people who don't like tasting other men's cum on their wife's lips

>>6478384
Sex outside of marriage is a sin anon

>>6478378
The analogy is shit because he's comparing sleeping around every morning to eating cereal.

>>6469421
#brainy

>>6478387
>>6478304
Since when do /pol/ and /lit/ overlap this hard?

>>6478392
>implying vaginas aren't cleaned or don't self-clean
how sexist

>>6478440
you don't have to be a nazi to be disgusted by cuckoldry and other sick fetishes

>>6478440
This sounds more like /r9k/ to me, not that it's any better.

Probably worse.

>>6468459
>these progressive parents just support whatever retarded shit that their deluded, retarded, cancer ridden daughter spews out

But they're saying the opposite of that. How does it feel to know that John Green is too deep for you?

>>6468674
I've asked this in several threads, never got an answer though but here we go again.

I've read one John Green book, Looking for albuquerque, and in it there is some bullshit explanation for why the protagonist had to start smoking. It kept the mosquitoes away or some shit.
Then my pleb GF dragged me along to Fault in our stars, and there's this bullshit smoking thing again.
So, does John Green have a thing about cigarettes? Are they apparent in all his work in some way?

>>6475634
It's a metaphor.

>>6468674
>When I put this cigarette in my mouth, it's a metaphor for a big cock

>>6478744
it's 4 am here and you made me laught out loud, probably because it's 4 am, but gratz

>>6478713
Guys I'm serious. What's John Green's thing about cigarettes?

>>6475885
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>>6468723
I keked out loud

>>6478713
i feel like i have a vague memory of him being a former smoker

>>6478300
He's a man child. Thinks the best books were the one in highschool literature class, lmfao.

>>6468723

>>6478306
>uses like ironically
>argues on the basis of talking Cheerios
>calls someone a dumbass

Back to tumblr

>>6480050
Fuck, I meant unironically

>>6478384

Yup, those are the only people and that's the only reason.

>>6468459
I hope you're trolling here

>>6480074
It's okay, your post was still detrimental to the overall quality of discussion on /lit/ either way.

>>6468544
Its actually because they're farm foods

>>6468527
>pretty sure it was meant sarcastically, captain autismo pepto bismol
>it is all sacarsm LOL

>>6478713
I swear to god you're going to turn into Charlie from ASIP with your obsession of John Green's cigarettes.

>>6478300
>>6478387
His wife, while they were married, fucked a black guy.

>>6469421
>have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

>>6478387
>>6480808
Is it true? /lit/ should go easy on him now

>>6470600
Post of the week. I would offer you a beer.

>>6469547
get out rimmer

>>6469685
Perfect post

>>6480843
>going easy on John "the lean mean cuckolded meme machine" Green

>>6480808

[citation needed]

>>6480881
Thanks, I'm awfully satisfied feeling now.