/lit/ - Literature

bullshit.

>>6446760
I'd get a laugh from it

>>6446761
It actually happened. He's a fat baby boomer shit, too.

I wasn't even trying to be a contrarian. I was expressing a sincere opinion on a work

>>6446768
post it.

>>6446770
You guys are gonna call me a hack ;(

>>6446775
who cares, post it.

>>6446775
We're going to do that either way so just post it.

>>6446776
>>6446777
how do I censor my name on a paper again

>>6446760
>teacher circles entire essay and writes ">It's a meme you dip" in green ink.

>>6446780
erasing it? covering the photo? paint?

>>6446780
mspaint

>>6446783
>>6446784
ok

>>6446809
Hurry up and post it this is the most invested I've been in something since the war

>>6446810
Yeah, do it OP you contrarian hack!

>>6446810
Let him have the time to write it down anon

>>6446809
you better not be fucking with us anon

>my essay points out how lecturer's logic is flawed and thus goes against his beliefs
>get 60%
>ask to see lecturer to talk about my low mark
>he skirts around my essay's central argument while claiming i didn't understand the texts
>when i ask him to explain how my argument is wrong he literally can't
>refuses to change the mark

th-thanks

>>6446835
Literally just go to the chair

>>6446835
Head of Department like >>6446838 says. Straight there.

anon i just finished crying into a doughnut post the fucking essay

>>6446864
this me too

where is esay
were is esay #italiano

>>6446809
It doesn't take half an hour to take a photo, RIP OP

Post the essay, esse.

>>6446864
literally nobody under 250 pounds has ever done that
fatty

>>6446864
>>6446869
>>6446870
>>6446875
>>6446888
I'm trying to save the picture

>>6446895
>>6446895
>I'm trying to save the picture
It's not hard. pic related

>>6446900
You do realise that OP is long gone as a successful troll?

>>6446760

Either you're a retard or he's a piece of shit human being or both. Take from that what you will.

>>6446903
No. I hadn't thought about that. I guess the /tv/ meme was a tell :^(

>>6446903
why can't everything just be real and sincere and true and beautiful why do people lie to get a rise out of others


fuck

>>6446914
Because you touch yourself at night, and because this isn't nice board.

>>6446903
If it was a troll, it wasn't a very good one because waiting is just boring rather than infuriating unless you have a terrible case of ADHD

Well does anyone have anything interesting to share?
Anything that might collectively cheer us up?

>>6446930
i eated some hot dogs and wrote my essay on boethius today.

>>6446890
list of things that no one has probably ever done while eating donuts:

>taken a shower
>learnt to speak kazakh (as a second language)
>committed first degree murder
>gazed from the top of Annapurna, the world's deadliest climb
>tobogganed
>rid a horse
>finger painting

>>6446930
This afternoon I'm going to a chill ass picnic and this cute girl I fancy who's a phil grad will be there

>>6446927
>36 / 3 / 19 / 1

>>6446760
get rekt op

>>6446930

I found this when I was looking through my /lit/ folder, what do you think?

>>6446936
>rid a horse
What did you rid it of?

>>6446935
Did you write in some big chief tablets too?

>>6446936
i have done 1 and 6.

>>6446945
>>6446944
tao ????

>>6446955
is there other way, my fellow dilettante?

>>6446958
well that proves one thing, not fake

mind giving the essay or something

>>6446958
did you take that photo with a potato?

>>6446958
did a small child grade your paper?

>>6446958
you're alright

You femanon, OP?

>>6446945
>>6446958
What. a. day.

>>6446958
No. I won't look at you.

>>6446958
welly welly welly

>>6446958
Why did you censor the essay

We asked you to post the essay

>>6446970
Is that a rare Pepe Walnuts?

Teacher circles entire paper. Says, "Exellent work. But not quite smug enough."

>>6446958
>sans-serif font

Sure

>teacher merely writes "cleverness is not a substitute for rigor in academia beneath a circled 85"

>>6446982
What kind of school doesn't explicit forbid anything but Times New Roman?

>>6446987
>... academia" *

>teacher types up a list of threes pros and three cons in lieu of handwriting a comment

>teacher highlights in red three things that are absolutely not grammatically incorrect, then writes at the bottom: "well-written paper, except for the grammatical mistakes. B+"

it was on beowulf. best essay i think i've ever written.

>>6446991
community colleges, 1101 classes

>teacher writes, "did you even read the text," under a twice underlined 25.

>>6447001
I just fill in the dots on the standardised evaluation sheet.

Because it is cheaper.

>Teacher writes "What does Frank Zappa have to do with postmodernism?"

>>6447044
zis a fresh meme?

>teacher writes "I will not be marking any of your further work if it includes such course language. And by the way, it's Guerrilla, not Gorrilla."

>teacher says

are you still in high school too

>circles every single usage of the passive tense, even when they're improving sentence flow or passing over non-crucial actors

muh strunk & white

>>6446958
>look at me
shit

>teacher just writes big red question marks all over the paper with no explanation

>>6446966
are you collecting doubles for a living?

>>6446958
Clearly fake. What the fuck kind of professor writes in pencil?

>>6447103
fuck them so hard when this happens

>paper uploaded with revisions
>tutor only uploaded the review sheet and not paper with annotations

>professor makes a bunch of scribbles in the margins everywhere with his shitty handwriting
>cant read a single word

guess that means he loved it

>professors that have their own stupid revision abbreviations
>lost the sheet that explains the stupid code language
>things circled on my essay with like "H.R" and "~W" and "5$7Y{}" written besides them, no clue what they mean

like honestly just write it out, the effort is minimal

>>6447095
I got that on my most recent essay, fucking pissed me off. Also got a comment saying: "At times the language you use could be simplified for the sake of clarity."

Community College is suffering.

>>6447170
>like honestly just write it out, the effort is minimal
Fuck you, halve my teaching load.

>teacher says they like your work
>you know they secretly hate it

>>6447256
wrong image

>>6447206
Someone's been reading Orwell.

>>6447256
>>6447259
>having so many pepes that you accidentally upload the wrong one

>>6446970
just noticed what that pepe is and am dying

>be me
>world war 2 essay
>compare the start of nazi germanys invasion to a fat kid going into mcdonalds
>nobody stopped them but they should of
>disastrous consequences
>Mfw A instead of expected D

>>6447308
Did you put in something about blitzkrieging a mcchicken, and then losing a mcdouble front war?

>>6447308
>>6447312
>Mark essays using staircase method
>Students act surprised

>write a paper
>Terrorism is an Effective and Logical Response to Globalisation
>claim globalisation is western imperialism
>claim all Islamic terrorism is a response to this
>claim terrorism is working
>claim the tactics are extremely well thought out
>get an A
>uploaded onto blackboard
>definitely on a terrorism watch list.

>>6446956
You showered while eating a doughnut?

>>6446958
Where's the circle?

I think I just swallowed a fly in my coffee. Am I going to be okay, lads?

>>6447338
...and the red ink?

>>6447340
You should swallow a spider just to be safe.

>>6447287
what is it

>>6447344
Done it. No probs.

>>6446991
t-they told me to use Arial ;(

>professor tells me i contradicted myself in an essay
>I tell her it's called dialectics, look it up

>>6446760
>>6446958
PLEASE GIVE US your ESSAY

>>6447498
Seeing as we've already sunk to /tv/'s level I'll do it.

Bump

>>6446958
You clearly just wrote that in pencil on the corner of one of you papers you fucking dipshit. .

>>6447810
this
please delete this thread before someone else dies of cringe
that's the worst fucking attempt at cursive writing i've ever seen

>>6447308
o i am laffin

>>6446760
It means you hit the nail on the head and are ahead of the times.

They said the same thing about Moby dick.

>>6446969
Fucking lost it at the thought of this

Oh man

>>6446969

I did a short story writing elective at Uni a few years ago and the guy marking my assignments gave me a 6(out of 7) but wouldn't elaborate on what I did wrong. I asked him and he just vaguely noted that I was writing science fiction and he didn't like those and that I used a line that he'd read before("We're unstuck in time").
Didn't tell me how to do better, just assured me that I was writing good stuff. My next assignment he wouldn't even talk to me about it, I got another 6.

He gave a 7 to a lady who wrote a story about a guy who took a photo of a sunset after a bushfire, nothing else, the main character literally just took a photo, looked at it, took another one and deleted the first one and remembered that he had a family back home who he missed then got in a car and drove away.

Fucking academics, I passed the class but still I wanted a fucking 7 not a fucking 6.

>>6448666
>I did a short story writing elective at Uni a few years ago and the guy marking my assignments gave me a 6
>My next assignment he wouldn't even talk to me about it, I got another 6.
>Fucking academics, I passed the class but still I wanted a fucking 7 not a fucking 6.
>6
>6
>6
>666trips
holy hell

>>6448666
>quoting Slaughterhouse Five
I would've failed your ass unless it was a damn good story.

>>6448666
>quoting slaughterhouse five

>everything written on the essay is completely illegible
>talk to someone in the class who has had the prof before
>discover she writes her comments in her native Danish.
>mfw

>teacher circles nothing
>writes "charlatan" at the bottom in tiny print

I still haven't approached them about it.

>>6446914

Disingenuousness is a primal virtue of humanity.

>>6448729
no way

>>6448686
It was a time travel story about a world where everyone wakes up on different days out of order their entire life. The main character wakes up on a day with the girl he loves(they have a two week period where they're physically together after that they never see each other again because they live every day out of order and can't sync up), he discovers it's her first day meeting him and realises that it's his last day seeing her, tells her the joke that made him fall in love with her which she laughs at and then after the day ends and they wake up on a different day he finds himself really old and dying.
She's at the door and comes in to say goodbye and then he dies happy to have seen her twice.

>>6448709
It had been fucking ten years since I read Slaughterhouse Five and while the main character of that book experienced time in a fucked up way similar to my story my story it was a global phenomenon and everyone was affected by it leading to some interesting developments in technology and culture which, given it was a short story, I managed to slid in as sidenotes(everyone keeps a track of how many days they've been alive and what day they last experienced using an app on their phones so that the government can keep track of when everyone is from while looking for patterns, people leave themselves notes and the girl character leaves her younger self prank notes just to fuck with herself for the lulz and the guy is the one to tell her she's been doing that for years). But having a line from a book which I honestly didn't remember shouldn't knock my mark down by a full 10%.

Also originally I was going to say "We're a generation unstuck in time" but the fucking work count was a cunt and I cut about 200 words and "a generation" was two of them.

>>6446936

I've actually done the fifth one. Shit was grand.

>>6448681
>>6448666
underrated

>>6448763
Damn that actually sounds really nice. I like the idea dude.

I studied at Canada's Harvard and whenever I bullshitted on essays they just gave me a b+.

Threadly reminder that the English department has a set quota of grades to hand out so your mark will be entirely relative to how last minute everyone writes their papers.

'Higher' education.

>>6448729
I once called one of my university professors a charlatan in an email I wrote to him.

I barely did any of the weekly assignments, but still managed to pull an A at the end of the semester even when most of my other classmates got B's and C's. I guess I grew on him or something.

>>6447044
>Implying Zappa isn't post-modern as FUCK

HE NAMED HIS DAUGHTER MOON UNIT

THE MAN'S LIFE IS IN THE POST-MODERN REALM

>>6448761
To be fair I was being a tad heavy in my essay

>be in high school, 8th grade maybe
>english teacher (female) shows me a lot of affection
>she's thirtyish, short blond hair, slim figure, blue eyes
>takes an interest in my writing, tells me I have promise etc.
>tells me I need to practice more, write on my own, and start reading
>she invites me over to her house one day, to give me some books that she thinks I would like
>I go
>except for a black cat named Muffin, she lives alone
>she starts touching me
>before I understand what's going on (was a virgin), we're have sex
>next day in school we have to write an essay, she gives me an A plus and writes ''Good Job!'' in the bottom
>this keeps going on for some time (sex and A grades with ''Good Job'' written in the bottom, sometimes she adds a little smiley face)
>we become pretty close, but no one suspects anything
>suddenly one day she isn't in school
>substitute teacher says she's sick
>after two agonizing weeks she still hasn't shown up
>finally principal tells class that she has quit her job and moved
>go to her house
>for sale sign
>find a note in a bush nearby (she kept her keys there sometimes. inside joke nevermind)
>note just says ''Goodbye''
>never see her again

I still have that batch of papers she graded with the ''Good Job!'' written on them.

>>6448860
what state anon...

>>6448800
It was, I'm not the best writer but I poured a lot of effort into it and my teacher just gave me the most vague notes and wouldn't tell me how to make it better. Drove me bonkers.

I'm in a writing group, mostly old people but committed to writing something every month, but they're never critical. When I read my works I never get called up on errors or continuity screw-ups and I notice I make them(everyone does) but never get called on it.
I correct everyone else on their English mistakes. I usually love what they're writing, it's nice stuff, family histories, short stories, tall tales or life experiences, but I'll be damned if I don't tell them where I think they've gone wrong in their writing. I don't criticise plots, characters or themes, that's theirs to have and it isn't my place to tell someone how to tell their story, but grammar and spelling and continuity are important and should be checked otherwise they'll never get better. One story at last months meeting had a soldier going into a town under fire because he was starving, but he finds a kid in the town who'd lost his parents and he gave the kid some chocolate to eat as a peace offering. Which raises the question: Why'd he go to the town for food if he had chocolate? Everyone was kind of pissy at me for noticing that and the lady who wrote it was near tears despite the fact that I really enjoyed the story otherwise and said so. Hell it wasn't even a hard fix, just have the kid confront him near an abandoned store and have them duck inside briefly when the shelling restarts, so the guy finds chocolate there.

Same thing happened in my short story writing class, class feedback was mandatory and everyone was trying to be polite so they always started with "I liked it, but..." and then would nervously stumble over some very weak criticism afraid they'd get expelled for being mean. It's infuriating. I and a few others were rough on people just because we were at the back of the classroom and had to go last everytime and all the good salient points had been used already(no copying anyone else!) so we were reduced to actual criticism.

>>6446760
>>>/soc/

>>6448860
that sounds hot

>>6448860
:C

>>6448869
Nebraska

>>6448860
so fake

>>6446760
>>teacher circles entire essay and writes "stop being a pretentious contrarian" in red ink
>>6446958
>RED
>CIRCLES
op confirmed for someone who grabbed a random piece of paper (notice how it does not even look like an essay, the paragraphs are way too short) and wrote on it with pencil

>>6449004
Did her name start with a K?

>>6448860
yeah

>>6448666
That lady's story sounds way better than yours

>>6449023
No.

>>6449018
Yeah, it probably sounds like it.

>>6448860

How tall were the both of you?

>>6446939

i hope it goes fine anon. i hope you two have sex. good and nice sex. dear lord, jesus, have mercy.

>>6448763
Sounds like generic genre-fiction bullshit.
I would have given you a 0

>comments on my essay are vague as fuck
>Have to write a similar one for final

I am so fucked

>>6449152
You're a mean person.
How about we have sex and I get a 5?

>>6447080
Underrated post

>>6447323
I would be interested in reading this.

>>6447323
You mean
>Plagiarize Jihad vs. McWorld
>Retarded professor gives me an A

>>6449564
Why not, I'm sure there are plenty of spelling and grammar mistakes in there and some things people will disagree with, we had a three source limit as well.

Here it is anyway:

pastebin.com/nvBZALDE

As already said it's been uploaded to a couple of plagiarism databases

>>6447810
>>6447850

>>6449577
legit never heard of that book, but it isn't too crazy a conclusion to come too after doing a course on terrorism.

>>6449577
>Implying regurgitation of popular arguments or even /lit/ memes, if argued well enough, isn't the best way to get an A

>>6449586
Nice Baudrillard quote

>>6446965
Source for that gif? I think I remember seeing that video years ago but I can't find it

>>6449590
your paper is reductive and dumb and poorly written

>Cultural imperialism can be seen in their invasion of Afghanistan, the Americans and certain European armies attempted to influence the how Afghan armies and civilian agencies worked to be more in tune with the western paradigm.
>invasion of Afghanistan
>cultural imperialism
>zero elaboration

The whole "they hate our culture" explanation of Islamic terrorism is fundamentally retarded, but you do an especially bad job of arguing it.

you also mistake inequality and poverty for a fundamental cause of terrorism, rather than things that help groups grow. much research has been done on this.

>>6449630
I wasn't saying they hated our culture.
I was saying they hated how we rub it in their face like a sweaty ball sack while we reap all the rewards.

I did indeed leave out the line explaining the poverty caused by this inequality, but that is kind of implied.

To be fair I was expecting worse as a response.

>>6449630
are you fucking serious
you apparently can into reading comprehension yet you don't catch the very obvious implicit fact that he wasn't being serious in writing that paper? that the fact that he got an A for being so goddamn stupid and ridiculously false wasn't 1: the point of quoting/recounting it here, for our enjoyment, for its humor, and 2: the point of writing it, so as to fuck w/ the professor?
I've written stuff to fuck w/ professors before, it's very fun.

>>6449681
>he wasn't being serious in writing that paper?
Except he was, as evidenced by his response to my response.

>>6449645
>I was saying they hated how we rub it in their face like a sweaty ball sack while we reap all the rewards.
The bit about the Muslim Brotherhood dude coming and being disgusted by American culture contradicts this, but regardless I would maintain they are more upset with us rubbing our missiles into their faces than our blue jeans and rock music.

And that wasn't my point (wrt poverty). I mean poverty is less of a cause of terrorism and more of a stage-setting factor. They don't commit acts of terrorism because of poverty, but poverty provides fertile ground for terrorist groups to recruit and thrive.

>Senior year of high school
>Taking classes at the local community college
>Intro to philosophy class
>One paper assigned, between 1000 and 1500 words
>Put actual effort into because philosophy major
>Instructor emails me my paper back, with his comments typed
>He calls it far and away the best paper he's ever graded
>He says its only real fault is that it's *too* structured
>He compares it to Wittgenstein's Tractatus
>He says I have a great career in philosophy ahead of me

Feels good friends =)

>>6446958

>>6447005
>>teacher highlights in red three things that are absolutely not grammatically incorrect
This. I got this in my english essay while I was in HS (English was my 2nd laguage). I tried to sound fancy, but ended up sounding a bit too fancy apparently, since the professor didn't know the sentences were gramatically correct. And even when her canadian aid told her it was correct, she kept going on about how "English people never say that, it's gramatically correct but no one ever uses it so it's wrong etc..."
I had high grades in english so I let it pass (it would have been too much of a pain in the ass to protest). Language HS teachers are insecure fucks, since most of them can come across a student that's better than them at what they teach.

>hand in 2000 words
>get it back after a weekend
>no comments, just "lovely analysis Anon!" at the bottom

I'm obviously not doing well enough to be beyond correction or improvement, so is she just setting me up for failure?

Rate my intro to greek mythology paper

>>6450527
>61%
wat

>>6450527
Know how I know this is fake?
>page is to big

No way.

>Junior year of HS in "honors" English I'd later find out went down as the same credit the easy class did
>Spend literally probably 5 total hours working on paper about how the racism and use of nigger in Huck Finn is to lambast the culture of pre civil war middle america as a whole, and when Sherburn calls the town a bunch of fucking cowards and they let him is the crown jewel of the whole parody, still my favorite part of the whole novel
>"Danced around the prompt, never actually had an opinion on the controversy of racism", 86%

>Write a paper in 20 minutes the day it's due about what I've learned from previous generations, doesn't meet length requirements and wasn't even read while it was typed

>"Your best paper to date, needs polish but has extremely strong foundations" 98%

WHY

>>6450527
whoa........so this....... is the...........power........... of post-modernism

>>6450587
The best response I've gotten from a paper was

>Anon, I see you read the book on how to write essays that I recommended earlier in the year and experimented with the keyhole method.
>mfw

>>6448860
Such bullshit

To people attending some form of higher education:

Are you doing it for money in the future? To get higher paying jobs? If not this, then what?

I ask because /lit/ seems very headstrong and intellectual, as if this board is going to produce hundreds of brilliant philosophers. Now, I ain't never got me no education beyond highschool, but I know that the complexities and intricacies of life cannot be captured and explained so easily in a classroom setting sitting in different boxes at standardized times with a robot up front repeating academic dogma year after year.

And, if your aim is wisdom, how do you expect to attain it while engaged in some kind of career and normal family existence, concerned more about work, money, bills, etc than higher matters of life and death?

>>6450781
to justifiy my existence to my parents.

>>6449854
That's kind of cool. Would you ever post it here?

>be me in 6th grade
>got back peer reviewed paper i did on germany
>student gave me a B- because i spelled "Oktoberfest" with a "k" and not a "c"
>all of my rage, i get up and shout, who did this? which one of you stupid motherfuckers did this?
>turns out the kid is in another class
>i break down in tears
>teacher calls security, i get taken to a counselor
>doctors declare me autistic, put me on seroquel and paxil at age 10
>moved into remedial classes
>dropped out of high school twice
>spent a year in a mental institution because of attempted suicide
>got out and tried to crash into a tree a week later
>paralyzed from the waist down, can't even masturbate
>killed my gf and unborn son in the accident, her family sued me thousands of dollars into debt
>get $300 a month from the government
>spend 24/7 on various 4chan boards
>on the final day before my death, an angel tells me to go on 4chan and tell my story
>i will ascend to the mothership, but first, i must go back in time and grade my paper a "B-"

FUCK

>>6450781
I attended university and graduated with a humanities degree.

I went because it was what my family expected. Switched from a STEM major to a humanities one. I learned a lot about life. I fell into a really brilliant group of people from a different university in the same city, and it was mostly them who took me under their wing and educated me.

University for me was like my parents funding my 4 year experience in a big city and getting to explore my intellectual pursuits on my own terms.Most of my actual classes were shit, but I met a lot of people who would prove to be very influential for my development.

But most people don't have my same experience. I wish universities still offered the unique opportunity to get a liberal education, but that's not true anymore. I've been out of school for 5 years now, but I still know a lot of people in it and all they tell me are horror stories. Academia has become a center for self-censorship, authoritarianism, cowardice, and charlatanism.

If you want to go to college to get a higher paying job then just study finance or go to a trade school or something.

The university system is totally fucked.

Proper grammar
Use of metaphor
Tongue in cheek, but obvious enough humor

Do those three things while following the prompt and you get at least a 90% every time, regardless of subject. Unless the teacher has it out for you. You gotta blanket the fact that you are a more skilled writer than the grader by making it clever and light. Don't use obtuse adjectives like a tryhard.

>6th grade
>do project about the kkk with white power friend
>get in trubble with teachers

later that year
>get suspended for blowing condom balloons in cafeteria

it's nice to remember that i have, in fact, been this cool all along

>>6450824
I remember in middle and high school I always used to use english spelling with words like "colour" or "labour" even though I am american. My english teachers used to always make them as misspellings.

I don't know why I did it exactly, maybe trying to be edgy or maybe because I was reading a lot of books that used the english spelling

>>6450838
>I still know a lot of people in it and all they tell me are horror stories. Academia has become a center for self-censorship, authoritarianism, cowardice, and charlatanism.

So you hear a few horror stories and that equips you to properly assess the current state of academia? I hope your college's mission statement didn't promise to teach critical thinking skills, because if they did you got played.

>>6450839
This guy knows what's up.

The lowest 'score' I ever got on a paper was 74% (DN, equivalent to an American 'A') which was one of the better scores in the class. The tutors comments on the back of the paper were along the lines of: "I don't think you quite hit the mark with what you were trying to say, and one of your points just flat out didn't make sense to me (perhaps it should be reworded? It sounded promising but didn't go anywhere) but I loved the tone of the paper. You really went at it with gusto. Good job."

>>6450788
Haha, yeah, I suppose I could. Give me a minute to find it/censor my name/upload it and I'll post a link

>>6450982
Sharpen your knives, boys. We've got a newfag to eviscerate.

>>6450989
>tfw anon post it and we are all swooned and fall in love with him

>>6450937
>So you hear a few horror stories and that equips you to properly assess the current state of academia? I hope your college's mission statement didn't promise to teach critical thinking skills, because if they did you got played.
Well I've spent several years in a graduate program, and a good deal of my friends are either PhD students or newly minted doctorates. I have some experience to share.

>>6449854
You'll be in for a real shock if you ever get to a real philosophy department at a renowned university. It's an extremely competitive place. Good luck if you do go into it, but know that it's an awful place.

>creative writing in 10th grade
>teacher constantly marks me down because 'no commas before and' and 'acknowledge both the red lines'.

>>6450982
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_XGWJWejcpnOFVmZ1pISWF2dWM/view?usp=sharing

Alright, here it is. Have fun, friends!

>>6451064
I'm actually going to the same college that a certain meme author went to in the fall. Thanks for the good luck, but hopefully it isn't too bad. From what I've heard the people there aren't too cutthroat

>>6450523
are we highschool stories now?

>Teacher hates me cause I keep calling her Eva, chancler mao, Himmler for assigning a ton of homework.
>She was more pissed when she looked up who those people where.
>Assigns me 3 roles in macbeth.
>I like Shakespeare, but damn, I have to be malcom, duncun, and banqo? Give the other faggets a chance.
>after every time I read she gives a much longer paraphrasing of what happened.
>Are kids really so dumb they need that?

>make a mistake on one sentence and a few words, she instantly corrects me with this smugness in her voice.
>Start messing up words on purpose. Even stuttering and pretending I don't know what the big words mean.
>"Stop that anon. I know what you're doing."
"Oy gevald, shut it down, the goyms know."
>Read the rest of the page in a jewish accent.
>"Stop with the accent."
>It's the scene with malcom and the servet
>Put on slave accent. Add lib in some 'mastah's
>"Stop it anon."
>Switch to country accent.
>"Anon, if you can't read it right then you won't read at all!"
"Oh, okay thanks."

>>6451083
nyu?

>>6451108
Amherst, actually (David Foster Wallace)

>>6451069
I can understand how your instructors comments can sound motivating, but don't let them get to your head. Your instructor sounds barely any more intelligent than you (I wouldn't expect much better from a community college philosophy "professor").

For starters, you really need to learn how to properly indent a paragraph for christ's sake. And learn proper style and formatting guidelines. Your paper is a total mess in that regard. Academic philosophy typically uses the Chicago Manual of Style.

And who the fuck taught you to write a philosophy paper like that? You have to actually learn how to form a conceptual argument in written form, not just list a bunch of shit and except the reader to make sense of it all themselves. The grader put that kindly when he says you were missing "transition sentences."

Sorry if I'm being harsh, but I've just been in this world too long and know kids you're age need toughening up.

>>6451134
Well good luck, I went to a research university, but wish I would have just gone to a liberal arts college (mainly because I think pussy would have been easier).

>>6451069
>>6451137

And also I should say there is no such thing as a "great career in philosophy"

>>6451069
Do you have any background in ethics outside of Socrates and Anscombe

>>6447206
I get this too. I've been brainwashed now too.

>>6446768
>He's a fat baby boomer shit, too.
Sounds like he has you figured out.

>>6447323
In my experience professors don't mind edgy bullshit. At least, it means you give a shit and have some ambition,which is more than can be said for the majority of students

>>6447340
Unfortunately, you will probably live to a ripe old age. I'm sorry Anon.

>>6451137
No, it's good, I get it. If it helps, that's not normally how I write a paper. But I understand that it's only a notable paper at all because it's in the context of a community college. I plan on improving

>>6451149
Thanks again, I appreciate it

>>6451154
Not too much, but I've read Kant's Groundwork and have a pretty basic knowledge of some other major theories. I've read a lot of SEP articles (and the wikipedia article on Stirner :^) )

>>6451195
>Not too much
It shows

>>6451204
Would you like to recommend anything to help with that, then?

>>6451216
Different anon here, you could read Spinoza's Ethics and some Wittgenstein. Maybe some Netcha too.

>>6451225
Thank you! I'll look into them. Any specific Wittgenstein, or would just anything work?

>>6451259
Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, probably.

>>6451271
Fantastic! Thanks again, anon

>>6451069
Seriously, man? This looks like a draft. Academic writing doesn't preclude prose, or even the occasional informal comment between yourself and the reader.

Also dat professor.
>You got a great career
>You got
>You
>not "You've"
Was he trying to write in ebonics or what?

>>6451304
I don't even know, he's pretty much the worst at spelling ever. You should see what he writes on the board
But yeah, the whole minimalist/wannabe-Wittgenstein thing was pretty silly and a bad idea, from what everyone has been saying

>>6449108
I like this thread, maybe the best I've seen on /lit/ in months.

>>6446760
You probably argue like a retard then tbh

>>6449818
but that is completely implied in his essay.

>>6450781
Instinct. It's getting me the ability to teach English at a uni in China and possibly become an interpreter later. I have no fixed plans. I may become a criminal or a transient sea-and-land hobo. I would love to be a successful writer, artist or politician. If life becomes unbearable I'll off myself or change myself as usual.

>>6446760
In 11th grade, my math teach wrote under the "comments" section of my grade "Anon is the most difficult student I have ever taught in my life".

>>6450781
Money. Bachelor + Masters of Teaching = $85k a year by the third year, with union gauranteed 1.5K increase every year after that until I reach 99k. Then there's special merit (106k per year) extra study to become a principal (120k per year) or even private school (150k+ per year)

Equality laws mean that, as a male, I'm preferred as an employee. (Current workforce 66% female, must be 50/50 by mandate.)

Future's looking bright.

>>6446835
Problems STEM majors don't have.

>>6451984
>What are lab reports

>>6452007
You think lab reports can be interpreted as subjectively as essays?

>be humanities prof
>have to dredge through thousands of pages from pretentious freshman essays each semester

Why would anyone willingly choose this profession?

>>6452017
all those dolla-dolla bills?

also
>not having a cadre of doctorate-studying postgrads on hand to mark your shit

>>6452009
Yes. Coming from someone who has to do it, some parts are pretty fucking arbitary

>>6452025
You know how after a while of browsing 4chan you turn slightly racist and misogynist and general misanthropic, right?

Imagine going through hundreds of these average, run-of-the-mill, straight-out-of-middleclass, slightly left leaning opinions of almost still teenagers, sprinkled with the odd Christian fundamentalist or young repblican/democrat or Dawkins-type atheist, and only one in a thousand puts down an opinion that is worth the ink (or disk space) it's printed on.

>>6452033
Like what?

>>6449069
post the pictures of the good job.
you little shit

>>6446958
Did you write an essay or a fucking poem?

>>6447308
>uses "should of"
>gets A mark
Murrica.

>>6448860
>she invites me over to her house one day
High expectations, nigger.

>>6452037
Abstract, Experimental , parts that don't require numbers and graphs

"You can not use a drug syndicate as an example of the "free rider problem""

>>6446930
Im going to have sex with this beautiful girl next week. Planning on never calling her back and cutting all ties afterwards

>>6446930
Every time I fall in love with a girl I get depressed

>>6452658

Ahh, the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.

>>6452785
I'm learning a lot from your right now, dude.

>>6452658
What's the point, if she's beautiful?

>>6452658
Is there no love in it ?
>>6452779
Why ?

>tfw reference obscure avant-garde black metal bands in pretty much all of my writing
>tfw these plebs don't even know Gnaw Their Tongues

>>6452847
>Why ?
Because of my inability to be with her in the present moment.

>>6452861
>tfw no one gets the reference to Sunn O)))'s lyrics
>tfw plebs think it's just "40 blank pages"

>>6452879
Does she love you in return ?

>>6446991
What kind of school doesn't forbid anything but LaTeX?

>>6447080
Underrated post

>>6452891
I highly doubt it anon

>>6452928
Ooph
Sounds like it's time to pack it in, anon.

>>6452935
Time to do what?

>>6452962
Move on, if'n she doesn't love you in return.

>>6452970
Well like, I don't know man. It's not like I've actually tried.

>>6452983
You should tell her how you feel and that way if the relationship sours on up you won't have it weighing on you that you never tried.
Do it in person though.

>>6448811
FUCK THAT PLACE. :(
why i choose there

>>6452036
No you don't, not everyone is a gullible idiot who lets themselves be influenced by a hivemind's opinions on an Uzbek street art forum

>>6452785
What the fuck is this

>>6453061

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZuOKUrwoys

>tfw you realize your english lit teacher seated you next to your crush all through high school

>>6453120
Mine did that, actually.

I just stared at her uncomfortably before she said "Hey, will you quit looking at me, faggot?"

Kinda dodged a bullet though. I came across her facebook page, she cut all her hair off, has tattoos all over her, and generally looks like a heroin addict now.

>>6453135
She called you a faggot?

>be me
>studying humanities
>unlikable ugly cis white male depressed drug user
>can't get a good grade on essays but can't tell if discrimination or shitty writing
>switch to major to math
>$300k starting salary on wall street
>can't order bagels without autism flaring up
>boss calls me his favorite goy

>>6453142
yup.

>>6453071
What the fuck is this

>>6453157
ice. cold.

>>6448666
Too bad those trips insist you get 6's, anon

>>6453071
>>6453071
rewatching the whole episode now
It's so perfect

>>6452861
>using Death Grips' lyrics in an essay
feels good

>>6447080
One more reply and this post is fairly rated

>be math major
>write logically consistent proof on exam
>no possibility of anything but full credit for question
>get exactly the grade i deserve
>mfw

>>6451134
My brother is going to ISU soon and I am pressuring him to read some DFW before he leaves.

>>6452886
underrated post

>>6453289

>using the ive seen footage music video as an intro to a speech about mass surveillance in commst 100

>>6446958
>circle
>red ink

>>6452891
what in the fuck is this gif

>>6450543
>>6450553
>>6450592
>high school athlete
>fake
pick one

>>6452413
>>6452037

Anon, he is referring to Gender Studies Science Lab Reports. Dismiss

teacher wrote that too impress you and then fuck you. beware.

>>6450527
Classic

>>6448666
Based as fuck. Underrated. Post of the year. A watershed moment.

>>6452861
A friend of mine used a dr. Octagon quote to open an essay on Shakespeare

>>6446958

People who say this is fake can fuck off. This b8 was quite the ruse, thanks OP.

>>6446958
holy shit
you made my day

>be me, 9th grade, first time in high school english writing an essay i was supposed to read over the summer but I didn't
>turn essay into a gay fanfic unrelated to the book at all
>teacher gives me a 70 and says "if you care about you're grade you'll never write something like this again

>>6454986
>[$$$Weed Alliance$$$]
What is this shit, man ?
The trip/name scene's gettin' absolutely SATURATED.

>>6452847
Not sure if i love her or very deeply infatuated. I just don't believe she sees me as a desirable long term partner. Also, there are rumors that she has a boyfriend

>>6453289
Death Grips is a small inspiration in my fun writing. I always had a taste for making up phrases and just trusting euphonia and people's critical thinking skills to carry it. After listening to Death Grips I trust my instincts so much more.

>>6456167
lmao

JUST

>>6457116
CUCK

>>6451084
>teacher
>has to look up who mao and himmler are

This thread is still alive?

>>6457574
yeah, but no good stories for about what is it that was like 2:00ish it's about 11:00, so like, about, 21 hours, or so? pretty sad

>>6457187
MY WIFE

>mod circles entire /lit/ and writes "stop being a pretentious contrarian" in red font

>>6448666
This story is funny because you're the one that looks like an idiot

>>6446760
JUST

>>6457686
>Except this actually happens

:'(

>>6457750

>he hasn't seen the post number and why it's a six