/lit/ - Literature

I feel like thanks to the overuse of mirrors, cameras, monitors, and the constant presence of objects that reflect reality but don't have one of their own in our modern society, I've come to identify myself with a superficial image of me, and that has taken away from me the capacity to think, feel, remember and observe in 1st person.

Think about it like this.
When you reminiscence about your past and go back to the good and bad experiences you've had, you situate yourself in an environment where you're looking through your own eyes at other things. But what if instead of doing it like that you unconsciously put the figure you've seen in the mirror in a scenario that resembles those memories?
As in, you let the scene of your memories play out as if you're watching it from a theatre and everything is in 3rd person.

Well, since you aren't actually capable of seeing your face without the need of objects like mirrors, you would substitute the real memories with artificially generated ones (with which you filled the gaps), and would be left with memories that are much easier to forget, regardless of how precious the real ones could be to you.
(cont)

>>6409239
Same could be said about daydreaming and escaping reality using the image you identify yourself with. At some point that shit is going to alienate you.

Maybe this is why animals are so confused when they look at their reflection? Maybe we aren't supposed to look at or care for or identify with any images?

I've tried meditating to ambient music to decontaminate myself from this but I need books for this feel.

>>6409239
>Well, since you aren't actually capable of seeing your face without the need of objects like mirrors

OP you're being pretty silly by delineating between an image of mirror and "actual" sight

after all, sight is just two cameras linked to your brain. Everything you see is your brain unscrambling feedback from your eyeballs which are picking up on light scrambled by reflecting off objects and refracted by atmostphere

/lit/ - your blog

>>>/adv/

>>6409239
Dear OP,
This is depersonalisation, a dissociative disorder recognised by the DSM. I've experienced this myself before and completely sympathise with you, and suggest that you confact a psychologist immediately for this condition.
Love,
The Ex-Depersonalised

>I feel like thanks to the overuse of mirrors, cameras, monitors, and the constant presence of objects that reflect reality but don't have one of their own in our modern society, I've come to identify myself with a superficial image of me, and that has taken away from me the capacity to think, feel, remember and observe in 1st person.
First person you sounds like a vain cunt who likes looking at mirrors and monitors. The myth of Narcissus and Echo; The Double by Dostojevski

>>6409270
wow man, /lit/ may not be his blog but telling someone to go to /adv/ is just mean and uncalled for. You could have given more constructive advice like "fuck off" or "kill you are self" instead of being a dick and linking to /adv/, yeesh

>>6409231
>mfw I want to post my troubles on /lit/ but they already told me 'fuck off to /adv/'
>mfw other anon posts his and actually get answers
>mfw /adv/ threads are all about teenage relationships
>mfw the only people that can help you don't give a fuck
>mfw you're alone

>>6409301
I'll listen to your troubles anon!

But only so I can consume your life and excrete it later as my own OC writing.

>>6409239

I was (and am, in a sense) in the same boat. The place you need to get to is one in which the image, the mimic that you see operating in place of yourself is as much a means towards something desirable (happiness, achievement, transcendence, whatever) as anything else. This is the Platonian-Artistotelian paradigm. Plato scorned poets and all those involved in methodologies of interpretation and/or imitation. Aristotle saw them as a way towards truth or knowledge of true forms (reality). It's not a perfect analogy, but you need to allow yourself to see life this way, to let go if you will, and eventually you will find yourself at least partially personalized. I had a huge problem with this but I got past it by accepting it, and now I feel more existent, less of a surface image.

>>6409270
I didn't say anything about myself though. I even asked for books.
This type of thread is more on topic than most of the philosophical bullshit you people make threads about in here.

>>6409256
Yeah but I think it's possible to lose that self-awareness.

>>6409279
Okay, this is scary.
I feel like I will be able to pull myself back to reality just fine but I definitely need to be more careful with the way I think about things unless I want to end up with a serious disorder.

>>6409283
In my case, It's more of a maladaptive daydreaming thing rather than narcissistic behaviour.
When you daydream you're pretty much escaping reality and looking at someone else in 3rd person, even if you think that person could be you.
For example, I had social anxiety, so to fix it, I would imagine situations and play them out before I've actually done them, so I could numb myself to them in advance.
Only now I realize how much that fucks with your brain.

>>6409301
maybe because you're a filthy fucking weeaboo?

>>6409335
>In my case, It's more of a maladaptive daydreaming thing rather than narcissistic behaviour.
you're the echo and the original

>>6409319
>But only so I can consume your life and excrete it later as my own OC writing.

>mfw people here like my writings
>mfw they don't know they're all about me
>mfw not taking antidepressants make want to become an hero
>mfw I can't write when I take them and spend the whole day watching react videos on youtube
>mfw I'm fucked up with or without pills
>mfw the only thing that can help me is friend or a girlfriend
>mfw I'm not worthy of having any

>>6409301
Well anon I've got some bad news for you.

I love you.

>>6409335
>Hey everyone my life suck my mom is a whore and my dad doesn't love me, My dog died and my ran away because she'd rather live with homeless people than me.

>oh by the way do you wanna mention some books so I don't get banned?

just kidding anon you're probably right everything on this board is shit anyway, might as well add to it.

>>6409335
>For example, I had social anxiety, so to fix it, I would imagine situations and play them out before I've actually done them, so I could numb myself to them in advance.
Shit, I do all the fucking time. Before doing anything I think about how it will be.

Here is where it goes retarded: After seeing a cool band playing I spend a few hours daydreaming about meeting them, before starting to write I picture how it will be received and people asking questions about it, after seeing a girl I like I spend a good time how it would be to develop a relationship with her (not just fuck her, that would be perfectly normal). The latter I like to call it 'the relationship daydream', and I play it to the extreme: most of the time I end up dead of lung cancer or stabbed to death by a stranger, when not, I end up alone because she cheats on me.
Not even my imaginary relationships end well.

>>6409352
>>mfw the only thing that can help me is friend or a girlfriend

oi no wonder you got told to go to /adv/ with an attitude like that. /adv/ thinks that relationships are the ultimate answer to happiness, success, and everything, and that just ain't true.

>mfw I'm not worthy of having any
>implying worthiness is objective
you've been spook'd, son

also, the reason you 'can't' write on antidepressants is because you've learned how to write while in an entirely different mental state. You have to re-learn to write, and the only way to do that is to write even when you'd rather watch videos.

>>6409380
i do that last thing too, but it occurs in a rapid, montage-like succession of vague, impressionistic images and sensations of tv-drama relationship tropes that, as in your case, always culminate in one of us leaving the other over cheating, and so, at the conclusion of this mental slideshow, at which my mind usually arrives about 15 minutes after departing from my first conversation with the girl around which it (the slideshow) revolves, i decide it best to just never talk to her again, and do that.

>>6409380
I always try to avoid daydreaming about real relationships or how I'd act around a girlfriend or something. That's just going to ruin it for me if I ever get to experience the real thing.

>After seeing a cool band playing I spend a few hours daydreaming about meeting them,
I don't do this but it's pretty fun to self-insert as one of the characters you read from some book and make him play a Radiohead song with his friends.

;_;

>>6409421
>you read from some book
from some book you read*

>>6409283
>>6409279
Wait, does this mean that every domesticated narcissistic normie out there (the kind that takes selfies) is Depersonalised?

>mfw just checked the wikipedia page for Alzheimer's for the first time

Guys...

>>6409352
>>mfw the only thing that can help me is friend or a girlfriend
no they don't, depressive people keep on taking from friendships and romance like someone thristy eating a chicken instead of drinking water. at the end they hate you and you feel just as empty as you did before, or worse.
you like writing? set goals for yourself and get published. make people notice you for the things you actually like from yourself.

>>6409380
>most of the time I end up dead of lung cancer or stabbed to death by a stranger, when not, I end up alone because she cheats on me

>>6409419
>always culminate in one of us leaving the other over cheating

This board is fucked up.

>>6409621
And know we know why.

>>6409279
I was going to be a dick to OP until I remembered I had this too and got really scared. It's likely an anxiety symptom that follow after something traumatic alters your brain pathways too suddenly.

For me it was doing too much heavy philosophy reading and drug taking my first semester of college. Took me about a year to stop noticing the feeling. Just give it time.

>>6409239
>When you reminiscence about your past and go back to the good and bad experiences you've had, you situate yourself in an environment where you're looking through your own eyes at other things
no I don't, my memories are all in 3rd person, it's always been this way

how does it feel to have a diseased body that produces its own decadent sickness bro?

the answer is gnosticism OP