/lit/ - Literature

Focus on details that actually matter.

>>6310237
Be minimal when describing beauty
Complex when describing what you want to be described as ugly

Objectify.

>She had her hair done real sexy, like in one of those shortish cuts, and the kind of black that looked good against skin as pale as hers. She had green eyes, too, which popped at you and pulled at your gut. Too bad she wore this frumpy coat and I couldn't glimpse the goods.

>She had a big booty, so he called her big booty

describe things youd notice while jerking off to the bitch

heres some examples

>Her long slender thighs traced upward into her form-fitting black dress.
>Her waist-to-hip ratio was exactly 0.7
>I could see a little more thigh skin than usual.
>Her tits had that perfect shape where they're concave on the top and convex under the nipple.
>Her ass is so fuckin fine, i wonder what it feels like to tap that from behind
>Her face is ok, too
>Damn, she looks a lot better in clothes than in her bikini shots
>I'll just fap to her California trip album on Facebook where it's more clothed with a little bikini mixed in
>Her hair is ok, but it needs a little conditioner
>I wish she would brush her teeth more often.
>damn that skirt is so short you can practically see her anus
>I wonder what her anus looks like, what a slut
>I thought back to that time that we were better friends. I wondered to myself, "Why didn't I make a move? Now all I have to choose from are the 30+ BMI women in my greek and roman mythology class."

>The way she moved was like a fat duck waddling side to side.
>Fuck i'd tap that anyway, look at those back muscles
>I glanced quickly over at her mountainous breasts and she caught my gaze with her eyes. "What the fuck, Jake?" she said with a sultry look in her eyes. "Do I need to call my boyfriend?"

let me know if you need more info

>>6310283

>tits from here to monday
>legs you write home to dad about

>>6310299
>A ballsack you could speedbag

>>6310237
honestly if you want to get across that she's beautiful, just say that. the reader will conjure their own ideal, which is all that matters. if her hair being black or her earring or her green eyes or her eye shadow become important for the story or for a metaphor later on, by all means mention them, but it's pretty much all fluff otherwise

>>all but a touch of femininity

if you think this is something worth saying you need to reevaluate ur prose

>>6310308
Can /lit/ write an engaging introduction of a Thai ladyboy character

>>6310342

Nigga I'll be honest its for a postgrad writing assignment. Write 150 word character description.

I think its a plebby as fuck thing to do too.

>>6310346
describe her actions then. telling how someone does mundane things can form such a clearer, more impactful image than talking about her fucking earrings. and 150 words is not a lot, you don't have room to waste. you have to trust the reader to have seen a girl before.

>>6310346
>150 word character description

Just have fun with it you fuck. The one in OP sounds sterile and really boring.

Make the narrator a lecherous son of a gun

>>6310346
Educational institutions love feminism.
Focus less on her physical appearance and more about the manner in which she presents herself, even her ideals and interests if possible - but showing how she demonstrates them, not just from an omniscient narrators point of view.

>>6310237
Ditch "jet black", it's incredibly cliched and think about it. What does jet black even mean? Are jets known for being black? There are better ways to describe black hair. What do you notice when you see a girl? Get in that mode and write it down. Be as quick as possible. 150 should be easy for this.

>>6310379
>Jet is a type of lignite, a precursor to coal, and is considered to be a minor gemstone. Jet is not considered a true mineral, but rather a mineraloid as it has an organic origin, being derived from decaying wood under extreme pressure.
>Jet is either black or dark brown,the adjective "jet-black", meaning as dark a black as possible, derives from this material.

>>6310385
Literally nobody knows that. It's a word that's been used to describe color since 1450, I looked it up too. That means find a new one.

>>6310346

>150 word essay
>due tomorrow
>havent started

>>6310346

See the girl. She is pale and thin. She stokes the scullery fire. She rubs the slippery penis of the man with down syndrome because she has a big heart. She knows it's the tickle of his lifetime.

>She had a pair of X chromosomes like the eyes of a dead cartoon character. Given her large eyes and unprognatheous chin, her face was pedomorphic and neonatal in a way that aroused my male protective instincts but also suggested youth, which I naturally found sexually appealing because it meant that she could potentially provide me with healthy children. Wide hips ditto. Her skeletal structure was gracile as hell. I marveled at how her chin and cheeks were free of course hair, while her actual hair was shiny and long and well kept after, a major status symbol in this day and age of shampoo and conditioner. I hastily noted that she was dressed in clothing restricted to use by females in my society and culture. Despite her best efforts to mask the scent with feminine hygiene products, I could vaguely smell her leaking cunt juices and devised that she was currently ovulating. Bingo.

You're welcome.

>>6310459
Is this from your Corruption of Champions waifu?

>>6310459

Bless ur soul anon.

>>6310260
>Focus on details that actually matter.

>"Her shapely ass was like the Monaco Grand Prix of female anatomy, the Four Seasons of curving fat and muscle. The rest of her was fine too."

>>6310262
This. Beauty is way more subjective than what is ugly.

>>6310237
>describing nothing but appearance
As long as this isn't written from the perspective of a male protagonist, this is just poor form.

All of you sexists bastards are so blinded in your hate towards women that you can't even describe them without solely focusing on their outward appearance. Here's how it's done gentlemen:

>She picked up "The Second Sex" from the table inside of a quaint Starbucks. Pausing her feverous flipping of pages, she looked up to witness a horrid display of the patriarchy. The Will of Wollstonecraft herself seemed to form an solid aura around our feminine hero as she dashed for her Iphone. A flash of light flew across the slightly crowded coffeeshop; quickly followed by a near inaudible squeal of glee emanating from the back corner. She had done the undoable; with a few clicks it was finished. Instagram now housed another photo dedicated to exposing the everyday terrors of patriarchy.

pic related

>she was built with the curves like the hull of a racing yacht, and you missed none of it with that wool jersey.

>>6310237
So get this, I saw this beyatch, real fine know what I'm sayin?
Gurl had the head of hair every tar baby dreams of, black as a nigga's asshole.
You can tell she ain't from 'round the hood cause she upping her earing game. Shit is ruby red know what I'm saying? Plus she a whitey, bitch got that look of greed in her eyes always looking for dem greens.
She still fine tho but she be wearing this damn coat acting like its all cold when she is just some whitey vanilla ice cream with jizz sprinkle on top. FUCK BITCH I CANT SEE DEM TITIES YO TAKE THAT SHIT OFF!!!

When describing a woman, do your best to describe her SOUL, not her external aspects. This is easy, since all women have the same soul:

>She never did anything interesting, had no real ambitions, and the only thing that even motivated her to move was a vague cunty desire to one-up other women by snaring the superficial lust of high status men.

Then describe her function in the story.

>The main character, who actually has depth and agency and the capacity to be a protagonist, wants to fuck her.

http://www.onfiction.ca/2011/02/actor-and-observed-man-and-woman.html

>>6310237
>Character descriptions

>>6310405

understated boast

>>6310237
Think about how you would describe a male character. Then do that.

Her thighs looked heavy, good for child bearing.
Her eyes looked heavy, good for love making.
Her breasts looked heavy, good for milking.
Her ass looked heavy, good for lifting.
Her tongue looked heavy, good for licking.

>Describing physical appearance in great detail

I hope you're writing a romance novel, that's the only time it's acceptable.

>>6311553
>>6311553
I am writing a book about a couple, so far 40k of the text thus far is on the females physical character. I get into wrinkles in her flesh, ancient tan lines several layers down, her clothes, her eyes, each eye lash, her noise hair, the way she rubs her tongue on her lower teeth and slightly pushes mucus through a small gap in between the second and first molar on her left side. etc. What she thinks about under what circumstances etc.

>>6310379

Its the same way as JK Rowling always uses "emerald green" or "scarlet red" in the Harry Potter books

Avoid cliches like the plague

>>6310379
did u rly think "jet black" refer did like flying jets

c'mon

>>6311631
NO, DON'T LISTEN TO THIS IDIOT!!!

You will NEVER get your book published, let alone find readers if you are not writing in such a way that others will understand. Trying SO HARD to come up with originality will only lead to failure. I work in the industry, and have taught a few English courses, students and wanna-be writers ALWAYS try to think outside the box, and reinvent the wheel, when in fact readers and publishers want ANYTHING but that.

>>6311654
avoiding clichés does not mean you will be hard to understand

>>6311662
Bull-FUCKING-shit.

>>6311662
Confirmed pleb.

>>6311662
I think wordplay cliches can be fine if they're used to relate something to the reader.

If you complete avoid using any phrase that has ever been used in a work of literature then you aren't going to make any fucking sense.

>>6311654

Its number one in Orwell's rules of effective writing: Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

>emerald green
>ruby red
>jet black
>paper white

These are so common place and well worn that they just evoke green, red, black, white in the mind of the reader. In that case, why not just use the simple words? Or maybe think of some interesting similes of your own, but this kind of stuff just comes across as try-hard and completely unoriginal. No-one is going to see a description of something as "ruby red" and think that that constructs a vivid or interesting picture in the mind

>>6311382
Sometimes I think, that if /pol/ is ever going to get a girlfriend, ironically it would be some fat tumblr feminist. Because that's the equivalent version of /pol/'s own bitter, refusal to conform to the other gender and the rationalizing of it through politics.

>>6311704
if you think the word "cliché" means "any phrase that has ever been used in a work of literature" then you should probably learn what the word means. and if you think saying "jet black" is good writing, you should probably get better aesthetic sensibilities.

I wrote a first-person historical fiction novel that makes ample use of verbal cliches appropriate to the era and the speaker, many of which would seem alien enough to pass for novelties to a modern reader. Anyone who says that you should never use cliches is a hack. They're just another tool.

From my modern-noir detective story. the language is a bit silly on purpose, but the first sentence describing Diana's figure is alright I think. The angel part is the MC being delirious and so the narrator is a bit hyperbolic. The narrator is basically an extension of the MC, similar to classic noir detective stuff.


His tears were dry when the deep navy blue sedan pulled up to the curb. A long, lithe figure jumped out of the driver door, a wave of silky, raven-black hair following. To Bruce, bleeding half-to-death on the trash-covered sidewalk she was a vision of pure beauty. An angel, sent to bring him to heaven. She radiated light from her fine, perfectly sculpted features. An angel, that is, until she said in her commanding voice, “I swear to Christ, Bruce, I am so sick of you ruining the upholstery with your blood. Next time I’m going to actually kill you, at least then I’ll get to put your stupid corpse in the trunk instead of on my nice leather!”

Bruce chuckled as he was helped up by the she-devil and into the passenger seat, “And to think I ever missed you. You sure do have a way with people, Diana.”

Diana sighed, “Let’s get you to the hospital before I come to my senses and leave you where I found you.”

>>6311798
george orwell is trash

>I couldn't take my eyes her GREAT STONKING TITS
Select all pizzas below.

>>6310343
She was a he, and Thai.
Now you know the rest of the story.

>>6311382
Sounds like it's narrated by Stan Lee.

>our feminine hero

>>6310405
See her nipples flush and puffy.

>>6311270

You describe appearance for the reader's convenience, not to be sexist.

>"jet black"
>"just a hint of"
>"all but a touch"

DISGUSTING [your writing]

>>6310237
>describing characters

might as well write the meaning of the book on the back cover

>>6310260
>the vagina, smooth between her legs, was just sitting, wishing, waiting to get hit with some hard dick. The natural girth of her hip bones held the curvature of her ass, cellulite held in place by a taut musculature, swaying back and forth, pressing the buttons in my brain to release hormones and chemicals that made we weak in the knees, yet strong in the benis. Her ass broke the laws of gravity, political correctness and transcended all earthly physics, biology and affection. Her chest was flat but in parallel with the cupids bow denting her upper lip inward with an erotic W, and the way the symmetry of her hips poisoned my amygdala with a hot, itchy hormonal philter...

also this
>>6310293

>>6310283
This seems accurate, since if you're describing her from the point of view of a male (I hope your protagonist isn't female) that's how he's going to talk.

>>6310295
>>Damn, she looks a lot better in clothes than in her bikini shots
>>I'll just fap to her California trip album on Facebook where it's more clothed with a little bikini mixed in
>>Her hair is ok, but it needs a little conditioner
>>I wish she would brush her teeth more often.
>>damn that skirt is so short you can practically see her anus
>>I wonder what her anus looks like, what a slut

>>6310355
>she had a very deep personality, that I honestly cared about, because a strong, empowered, confident female personality, deep down, is what I long for, not a docile, hourglass shaped highly feminine, hot tamale that will fulfil my every sexual fantasy
you'll get an A if you have a typical female arts prof

>>6310459
>She had a pair of X chromosomes
>they were part of a double helix
>she had two ears, but just one leg
>she was made of atoms
>she had an epidermis, and it was showing

>>6312564
your trash

>>6311382
>The Will of Wollstonecraft herself seemed to form an solid aura around our feminine hero as she dashed for her Iphone
This statement is utterly meaningless, and I daersay, idiotic. You're ignoring the #1 rule of it all, show don't tell, there is no such thing to imagine as an "aura" around someone, let alone an "aura" of a dead whiny feminist writer, who by the way, you are absolutely shitting on the memory of, befitting your starbucks-latte sipping iphone-using bourgeois "hero" to her (can heroes be this vapid?)

Gerald was masturbating into the kitchen sink when his mother walked in.
'You wan soup for dinner hun'
She was lugging groceries in from the car.
'What kind you got'
She set a brown bag onto the counter and rifled through it.
This was distracting for Gerald to say the least.
'Elsewhere Mom I'm busy'
He turned to face her with a superfluous, convalescent, manner.
'Hun' you gotta stop -'
'Stop? You HEARD the doctor Ma'
Gerald whined like a schoolgirl at his mother with a face somewhere between pain and serenity.

It was only now that Gerald noticed his Mother's beauty. Brown hair, stunning eyes, and a body to match. It was almost like one of his pornos.

>>6314166
no he's not unless he's a silly bukowski fuccboi. is that actually how you think lol

>>6314188
Are you trolling me, or are you autistic?

>>6314161
underrated post

>>6314216
>'Elsewhere Mom I'm busy'

She was a whore.

>>6310237

Every time I see OP's pic I have to open it this thread, that luscious milk white skin and those perfectly delineated breasts makes me want to impregnate her.

>>6315137
>was

>>6311637
My point was that I didn't know what jet referred to and nobody else does. It's a useless, tired description.

bump

>>6315147
>genetically inferior female specimen that will die of skin cancer in the coming global warming.

dropped.

>>6315499
Like a care about how she will look like in 30 years.

>muh genetics

>>6315499
>global warming makes ultraviolet rays more dangerous
lel

>>6315215

Idk where you live man, but I think everyone over here would know what jet black meant

>>6315512
Dont be so autistic anon, i was just joking.

Never
Fucking
Describe a character
Unless it matters to the book that you're describing that character
Or by that description you reveal something about the narrator

>>6310283
This sound like something out of the Mike Hammer series.

>>6311414
Tumblr please go the fuck away

>>6311654
How the fuck are you equating avoiding cliche to making your writing unreadable? Are you retarded?

I don't think you actually know how to write, being "in the industry" doesn't equate to knowing what the hell you're talking about.

Not to mention that if you care about what some shit head publisher thinks you're doing it wrong. Write the way you want to write, Most of the time they only care about what is "marketable" to the lowest common denominator for the highest amount of cash.

That's why we have shit like Twilight and Fiddy Shades.

>>6316687
I have never read a book that didn't describe the characters. Stop giving shit headed advice that no one follows you retard.

>>6310293
"...so he called her yummy buns"
ftfy

>>6314161
That was decent until you mentioned your brain, then it got tryhard. Learn to write, faggit.

Don't describe them. Physical descriptions are fairly irrelevant and rather obligatory course lit.

>>6316975
I have literally never read a book that avoided describing characters.

This is shit advice and you're stupid for believing it.

>>6316988
The books you read are shit.

>>6316996
You don't know how to write at all.

>>6317002
If you use similes and metaphors to describe your characters you're the one that doesn't know how to write.

>>6317018
...and if you did know how to write you'd know that there are other ways to describe things.

>>6310237

Write women as you would write men.

Don't focus too much on fine details, because then it becomes a tolkien block of text. Focus on the important bits - the bits that first hit you when you meet a person.

For instance (from your text):

She hid under an androgenizing coat that hid all but her face. She had green eyes, magnified against her pale skin and short black hair.

>>6317037

(same poster) replace that second "hid" with "covered"

>>6316967
it was intentionally a silly piece in every way you drip

How has this not been posted in this thread?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wse_hgca220

>>6317130
Nope, the start was good you killed it by making the dude mention hormones, chemicals and then lost sight of the style.