/lit/ - Literature

Hello Sasha,

We reviewed the eBook content file you uploaded for TWAT and found something that needs your urgent attention before we can move forward.

Part of the service we provide is to inspect your books for any content that will cause delays or rejections when the book is delivered to the partner eBookstores. BookBaby is a strong supporter of First Amendment rights for authors, musicians, filmmakers and all content creators. However our retail partners have very strict guidelines that we must follow insofar as content deemed pornographic, overtly racist, homophobic or other highly objectionable content.

Our eBookstore partners will reject books that contain any of the following, but may reject any book for any reason they deem appropriate:

Any depiction of children in any sexual situation.
Images of penetrative sex, oral/genital contact, or genitals
Anything, text or images, the encourages the commission of a crime.
Images intended for the, "sole purpose of sexual arousal."
Anything they deem excessively crude. This is not limited to sexually explicit content.

To see the BookBaby terms of service please click here:

Given specific sections in this manuscript, BookBaby has made the decision to reject your content. If you would prefer to keep the content, please let us know and we will issue you a refund of all fees paid to BookBaby within the next few days, and delete the contents of your book from our records.

Regards,
Your Friendly Neighborhood BookBaby Specialist

to which I replied:

My Friendly Neighborhood BookBaby Specialist,

BookBaby is not a strong supporter of First Amendment rights. Your support for free speech is laughably tepid. TWAT is 350 pages of serious literary fiction and you reject it because of written depictions of underage sex and hand-drawings of vaginas. BookBaby is a cog in a wheel that will bring about a world in which the Joyces, Nabokovs, and O'Keefes of the 21st Century will never come to market.

I’m not asking you to change, I’m simply asking you to recognize yourselves as conformists and centrists and people who act in their own self-interest. Those qualities are common, and perfectly acceptable, and I would let them pass without comment - but your overtures to free speech I find intolerable.

Obviously, I will not censor my work.

Obviously, I will not allow my work to be censored.

If your delicate sensibilities will allow you to convert the file to ePub, please inform me of the rate of such a conversion absent any publication services - and I will inform you whether I would like a full or partial refund.

Very Respectfully,
Sasha Kaplan-Leblanc

No

With Amazon controlling 60 percent of the e-book market, and banning books that contain non-centrist views on race and sex - we may be on the cusp of a banned book crisis unseen since the first half of the Twentieth Century.

tl;dr
It does not feel good to be shut out.

>>6282122

how can anything related to tinder be considered "serious literary fiction"?

OP maybe you should write something worth defending then get back to us

>Joyces, Nabokovs, and O'Keefes of the 21st Century
Someone's a narcissist and it's you, OP

>>6282224
>post cover
>receive book judgment

here's an excerpt

Dean looked through half-open wooden shutters and onto Wilshire Boulevard for an early sign of Stasia’s late arrival.
...
Stasia received her current name of Stasia from 5 Jamaicans with whom she had shared a house during her college years. The name was a corruption of a portmanteau. Despite officially deploring suffixes, the Jamaicans immediately called her Anastasia (desiring to add the name of their Rastafari deity, Jah to the end of her Christian name, Anna). From there, it degenerated to Stasia.
College ended. Wisconsin ended. Stasia moved back to LA.
Stasia’s hands swept the back of the evening’s 68th sundress to her knees as she slid into the booth to join her friends and Dean. Stasia’s friends were mostly Dean’s friends (in the most permissive sense of the word friends).
Stored deep in Stasia’s memory was an impression of the bright orange vibrator she knew to be stored in the shallow top drawer of her nightstand. The vibrator <was swaddled in a pair of cardinalred running shorts with white piping> and <buttressed the 2 sheets of Sino-Swedish Medium Density Fiberboard that formed the left rear corner of the drawer>. When stored to her satisfaction, the vibrator sat at an angle that Stasia called an even angle (and Dean would call a 45 degree angle). Unbeknownst to Stasia, Dean would be pressing the bright orange vibrator against her swollen clit while his cock rhythmically entered her body in 4 hours time. That did not occur to Stasia primarily because she had not yet met Dean, and because she had been forewarned that he was likely “a douche”.
(Cognitive errors thrived in TWAT. Among the most common cognitive errors was the mistaken belief that <to categorize something> was <to understand something>.)
Dean knew that there were times when one crow would caw and 100 crows would flee the telephone wires in geometric unison. Similarly, Dean knew that when one girl would categorize something or someone as a douche, all other girls within earshot would know (perhaps not on a rational or articulable level, but on a visceral or Darwinian level) not to let that something or someone enter their vaginas.

Stasia felt the word douche was clever and evocative. But if she probed her memory for a definition of the word, she would find little more than
1. the amorphous outline of the word “bad” or “germs” or “curse”
2. a solution intended to enter the vagina for the purpose of cleaning
It had been on the day that was no longer Washington’s Birthday when Stasia clicked buy it now and purchased the bright orange vibrator on eBay for 4.91 dollars, which included delivery from Canton, China. (A similar vibrator, made in the United States, would have cost Stasia not less than 21.99 dollars.) Stasia paid for the vibrator through PayPal. And although she dabbled as a doula, she funded her PayPal primarily through a linked checking account that she filled with the cash she made giving massages at a drug rehab center in Malibu. Stasia was a masseuse of middling competency. But her earnings from the previous year were 27 times greater than the average earnings of a masseuse of middling competency in the People’s Republic of China.
Wei Hsu received Stasia’s funds in Canton and filled her order. Hsu was able to manufacture the vibrator so inexpensively because his factory workers
were paid 2 dollars for a 10 hour shift
and
whenever they goldbricked there was a man who appeared behind them with a padded baton who made his living by striking factory workers with padded batons.
Hsu had low overhead. The last time he paid to upgrade his facilities was when he installed suicide nets between the west wall of the vibrator factory and the East wall of the HDMI splitter factory. After she inserted the vibrator into her pussy once, Stasia left 5 star feedback on eBay for Hsu.
George Washington’s name was given to him at birth by his father. Washington was 11 when his father died and he inherited 10 slaves. By the time Washington was President, he had fought in 2 wars and was the richest man in America. Stasia thought George Washington was a real piece of shit for exploiting the labor of others. LA girls prided themselves on being in touch with the suffering of others.
Stasia had been late to trivia because (even in the absence of a single massage appointment) the day had gotten away from her. She spent the entire morning searching OK Cupid for profiles she deemed too cocky, and scouring them, your after your, for the errant apostrophe upon which she could heap the collective scorn of 1000 Nuremberg Trials. Then Stasia spent the entire afternoon stalking through the comments section of Yahoo! News while waiting with baited breath for an irregardless that she might track back to its Kentuckian owner, whom she would eviscerate with her favorite word - pseudointellectual.

When the wiry, Honduran gentleman in the black polo shirt (whose favorite word was pseudoephedrine) arrived with Stasia's second $14 Malibu and Sprite, it felt to her … well-earned.
The girls were arrayed on both sides of a booth away from the bar lauding the myriad known and unknown benefits of the increasingly “Pro-Choice” times in which they lived and felt they had in some small way brought about. They laughed, smiled, and waited turns to talk as they happily groped for more and more of the statistics from their memories that would bond them further and confirm how wise and prescient the views they had shared since time immemorial were.
Earlier that day, each of the 4 girls had seen the same post which was making a mid-major splash on Facebook. It credited legalized abortion in 1970 with the precipitous drop in crime that began in 1990. The post was a link to an article. The article had <appeared 3 days earlier on the feminist website Jezebel> and <recapitulated scholarly research done 13 years prior by someone else>.
Dean waited his turn to talk. He then shared what he thought was by far the most dispositive statistic that had not yet been pulled from the ether.
“Did you know that since Roe v Wade, black women are 3 times more likely to have an abortion than white women? And did you know that black people are 9 times more likely to commit murder? … in the US anyway.”
Before he said his first word, Dean knew exactly where the facial expressions of each girl would stand between each of the 37 words he was preparing to speak. It was not unlike the precise mastery that an 8-year-old has over the link between the words egg, larva, pupa, adult, and their associated illustrations.

And here is an excerpt of the underage sex. I would contend that is not prurient but rather a thoughtful treatment based upon a real event:

One night in one September, Mariken’s mother took her for a long ride in a Volvo stationwagon. The ride ended in the Angeles Crest National Forrest at a cabin located near no place of any regional prominence (other than Gravity Hill).

“Vee are here.”
and
“Vee are here?”
and
“Vee are here!”
said the narrow Swedish gear indicator indecisively as it passed from
D to N
then
N to R
then
R to P.
“PAAAAAAAAAARK,” announced the clearly annoyed Swedish handbreak (loudly and decisively adding extra AAs to differentiate its message from the word Park, which was a common Korean surname in Los Angeles.)
In Los Angeles, the word cabin meant
A very nice house among pine trees that belonged to someone who also owned a very nice house among palm trees
or
a very shitty house anywhere.
Despite the bravado in his voice, Mariken did not believe what handbreak had said. She did not believe his message because there was no reason for the Volvo stationwagon to be parked at an abandoned cabin in the forrest at 12:11AM. Then a man in a Dodge truck with a cage reasoned up the driveway alongside them. The man was wearing a chromeyellow Stanley tape measure and nearlywhite bluejeans.
“SPRINGKINK!” said the Swedish driverseat.
When Mariken’s mother left the wagon to greet the man, her foot left the footbrake. The wagon began to roll slowly backwards its customary 3 inches, allowing handbreak to chime in with the final word in the matter.
“SEE?!”
While Mariken looked for firstfooting, Mariken’s mother was able to mysteriously glide about as if by sonar within the pitchblack cabin. She glided to the halfcandle that she somehow knew lay in the bottom of the sink.
Mariken stood timidly just inside the doorway while her mother lit a single candle.
Mariken’s racist corduroy house slippers cursed the darkness.
“Fuck you, darky,” said the slippers.
“Just hang out in the kitchen,” said Mariken’s mother as she and the candle painted the noisy redblack of a damaged retina onto the Black Pacific that had formerly resided within the formerly abandoned cabin.
Like many unfinished abandonedbuildings, the cabin had a relatively open floor plan. The only interior wall to be found within the cabin was the woodframe half-wall separating <the kitchen and Mariken> from <the mattress and the livingroom floor>.
By candlelight, Mariken watched her mother unfasten the man’s belt and pull his jeans off. Mariken heard the chrome tapemeasure fall from his waistband and skip across the cement floor into the darkness.

“Damn it, Carol!” said Stanley.
“Dude, fuuck off already,” said the slippers.
Through the wordless red noise in her retina
and
through the wordless red noise in the cabin,
Mariken watched her mother suck the man’s semi-erect cock silently and incompetently. After 3 minutes of shooting various deathstares at her mother through her own lowdrawn eyebrows, Mariken could abide no more.
“Go back in the kitchen,” sterned Mariken’s mother.
Mariken ignored the words and kneeled down over the man’s cock and began to suck it.
Mariken’s mother worried that her daughter’s wild behavior might scare the man away. Then she noticed a marked increase in the enthusiasm contained within the man’s moan and she felt relieved.
“This is how,” sterned Mariken.
Mariken looked up through the darkness and into the silent red noise that was her mother. At the instant Mariken said how, she had been sucking cock for 2.08 years
(Mariken had first masturbated the morning of her tenth birthday while waiting for her mother to get out of bed. <Clinical psychology and Cher> believed that <a high level of sexual desire and sexual function are unusual in a young child, but hardly without precedent>. However, if asked, <clinical psychology and Cher> would not have dared <to opine on the calculating and discrete manner in which Mariken had arranged for 4 cocks to enter her mouth before she entered middle school>.)
“Smack,” said Mariken’s 12-year-old-lips on the shiny 41-year-old-cock. The cock was salty and girthy. It was not unlike the dill pickles that came polybagged in their own brine at Mariken’s school and at the BX commissary.
Even though Mariken was sucking his cock artfully and absent any articulable coercion, the man dared not touch Mariken or her mother with his 2 hands. A small part of the man’s mind nurtured the fiction that
he was being attended to by Mariken’s mother alone
and
his cock was unable to perceive the difference between their mouths
and
his ears had been unable to place the this is how.
That same small part of the man’s mind had deemed it essential to keep <<a layer of rednoise> and <a layer of plausible deniability>> between <<his fingertips> and <the 12-year-old>>. Smallpart did not want 10 witnesses to explicitly contradict, under oath, his
1 cock
and
2 ears
and
1 mouth.
With absolutely no regard for plausible deniability, Mariken shaped her mother’s left hand onto the base of the man’s cock. Mariken re-formed the ring where her own hand had been and continued
to suck
and
to look into the darkness where
the man’s eyes should have been.

She used both her hands to instructively guide her mother’s one hand up and down along the cock. When she felt that her mother had a sufficient grasp of the correct pressure and the correct cadence required by the job, Mariken removed her own hands in a
slow
but also
theatrical
way which made her fingers appear as 10 departing white doves saying voilà with perfect BeNeLux accents.
(It was the same perfect BeNeLux accent with which <Mariken’s father’s coarse hands> had said voilà (6 years prior and a mere 9 inches from her asshole) (and only after feeling Mariken had a sufficient grasp of the correct balance and the correct speed required to ride a bicycle without training wheels).)
The man on the mattress considered <what was transpiring on and around his penis> to be greater than <the sum of its parts>. It seemed as though no one thenpresent objected to the thenpresent arrangement of
Mariken sucking the head of the man’s cock
and
Mariken’s mother stroking the base of the man’s cock
and
the man lying.
Dean would have termed the arrangement a pax familiaris. But like so many in the 21st Century, the man was not conversant with the phrases pax Romana and pater familiaris.
2 minutes into the pax familiaris, The man’s mind began to
push chess pieces
across
a checkers board
with
a croupier’s stick.
The man wondered if it would be considered rude to pull the 12-year-old up by the underarms and lower <her> slash <her pussy> onto his face. (If asked, Dean would have noted that neither Emily Post nor Miss Manners had ever written on the subject.) While he deliberated, the man looked at Mariken’s small frame and his hands became filled with 90 pounds of ballast. He began to wonder if he could
lift the 12-year-old up
and
swing the 12-year-old up
and
turn the 12-year-old sideways
in one smooth motion. The man thought that ::: at first he might munch Mariken’s diminutive pussy through her flannel pajama bottoms while he gauged her mother’s approval : then, if that went well, he might discreetly untie her drawstring and gradually pull her pajamas bottoms down until his tongue was on a naked 12-year-old-pussy : then, when that went well (the man was very confident in his powers of cunnilingus) and the 12-year-old was overtaken by sexual desire towards him, he would whisper into her ear, “why don’t you show your mom how to ride.”

(Like many men, the man made <his advances> in echelons shaped primarily by <an exit strategy with the potential for a limited and orderly retreat>.)
The man moaned polite but distracted moans. His disengaged arms extended <up up and away> from his ribs at a 45 degree angle. It was a posture of total surrender.
While <<the man’s body> was <lying naked on an undressed mattress in an unfurnished living room with its cock in an underage mouth>> and while <<the man’s mind> was <shoving its mindcock into a 12-year-old twat>> - the man’s wrists were saying
Don’t you dare shoot
to the LAPD (who could have been anywhere)
and
I didn’t do anything because I was just laying here and it was dark
to his parole officer (who could have been anywhere).
The man’s wrists appeared flexed. The man’s mind did not control the man’s wrists. They were not flexed, rather they had calcified into rigid paranoia long ago. The man appeared tensed, but he was completely at peace, not unlike the shrieking plaster cast of a man burning alive under Pompeii.
The Black-Pacific-like-deniability that floated in the wordlessness of the red noise made the man happy. His cock savored Mariken’s depressed tongue. His own tongue felt euphoric and began to sublimate why don’t you show your mom how to ride. The man practiced the best ways to remove any harshness from the 9 words. But the feel of the phrase in his mouth sent him over the edge. Dismayed, he realized
very quickly he would ejaculate
and
he could not stop himself.
The man said aloud, but in a quiet voice, something he had been rehearsing for years:
1.
No
2.
Hold on
3.
Fuck
4.
Shit
In Alcoholics Anonymous, the man had been taught that there were 4 phases en route to acceptance:
1.
Denial
2.
Bargaining
3.
Anger
4.
Sadness

There was no second coming. A pained look came over the man’s face
after Mariken began to taste his precum
and
before he said shit
and
after he accepted that his historic inability to achieve a second erection would forestall his bragging of having fucked a mother/daughter combo.
The man had been taught in an anger-management-course to change the things he could not accept. The man began to thrust his pelvis forcefully into Mariken’s mouth in order to make the best of the situation before him. He wanted to feel as though he was coming from fucking her, and so he fucked her face in the last moments he was able.
In Al-Anon, the man had been taught that suffering comes from desire. When Mariken rolled slightly with the blows to the back of her throat, the man reached down with 2 hands and held her in place by the back of her head.
The man had never fucked Mariken’s mother’s face in that manner. In fact, Mariken’s mother had never seen a violent facefucking before. She hoped that the man would never fuck her face quite like that. But Mariken’s mother knew that the orgasm was the most important part for a man. And she also knew that if the orgasm was spoiled in any way, the man could become upset.
Mariken’s mother’s earlier cockstroking had been light and ineffectual because she was preoccupied with watching the man interact with Mariken. But when she sensed the man’s cum was near, she worked the bottom half of his cock with her thumb and longfinger in earnest. She squeezed firmly and frantically, as if by instinct. She wanted <to cause the man’s orgasm> and <to be the cause of the man’s orgasm>. Not once in Dean’s voracious readings of the voluminous paraphrases of Charles Darwin did he ever find anything that addressed the tension between <a co-located mother and daughter> vying for <the same man’s cum>. Although TWAT liked to write Pop-Darwinist codas for virtually everything that could be coda-fied, TWAT had never expressed an opinion on whether it was more Darwinian for Mariken’s mother
to want the man to come inside her
or
to want the man to come inside her daughter.
Mariken wanted the man to have a nice orgasm. She relaxed her throat. She prevented herself from gagging by force of will and by imagining 1000000 dollars depended upon it.
The man’s orgasm took longer than Mariken had estimated. Her endurance flagged and her eyes closed more tightly. Her mouth (and the head and neck to which it was connected) began to drift slightly in order to protect her throat from being struck directly by the head of the man’s cock.
But the man wanted his cock to be fucking Mariken’s throat
as hard
and
as directly
as it could when he came. To maintain the same relative position of his cock and the 12-year-old-throat, the man gradually raised his lower back and hips.

Fearing it might be a bad reflection on her, Mariken’s mother felt
ashamed
and
uncomfortable
that the man was having to raise his hips and lower back to facefuck Mariken’s reluctant mouth. She put the palm of her right hand on top of her daughter’s scalp and pushed her face downward.
“You ruin everything,” said the palm.
The palm pushed harder.
“Stop embarrassing me,” said the palm.
The man was emboldened by the palm’s kind words. Completely uninhibited, he used the full force of his arms to pull the back of Mariken’s neck downward. Mariken’s lips stopped her descent when they reached the very bottom of the man’s cock. She felt
her mother’s fingers pressed underneath her lips
and
the man’s pubic hair in her nostril
and
a sensation in her esophagus that she
would describe as deepthroating later in life.
The man’s use of force engendered an even bolder feeling of collaboration in Mariken’s mother, and the 2 spiraled off symbiotically in some direction (possibly down). Mariken’s mother pressed down harder on the top of Mariken’s head. Then she began to beat the man’s cock even faster. She urgently pumped the 1 inch of exposed cock between the man’s pelvic bone and her daughter’s face. Each time she did, Mariken winced slightly from being struck in the lower lip by a diamond engagement ring.
When Mariken’s face was completely subjugated by the combined effort of the small group, the man said, “Take it you little fucking bitch.” He said take it you little fucking bitch in a manner identical to the way in which a small group had said those same words to him while in-processing at Wasco State Prison.
Mariken wanted to swallow the man’s cum even before she received the man’s instructions. Mariken always swallowed cum. But
because she had a small mouth
and
because the man was thrusting his cock
erratically
and
violently,
the only way to keep her teeth a safe distance from his shaft was to open her mouth as wide as she possibly could. As such, she was not able to form a seal on the man’s cock with her lips. When the man began to shoot his cum into the back of her throat, it pooled and it dribbled from her mouth. It escaped her lips and passed down his cock.

With each wave of cum, the man’s grip on Mariken’s head loosened. His hips wound down. He lost power.
Mariken’s mother rang the final waves of cum up from the man’s cock and into Mariken’s mouth. Mariken thought that as the man relaxed, she might be able to purse her lips and draw the last drops from his body. (She muscle-memoried sucking the last of 22 ounces of orange soda through a red and white straw, and she heard her father chastising her for the loud slurping noise the straw was making at the bottom of the white cup.) Mariken sucked on the man’s increasingly malleable cock, but within seconds, her vagus nerve finally bested her <conscious efforts> / <voluntary mind>. Irritated at having been actively suppressed, Vagus demanded an exact accounting of all the involuntary reactions he was owed.
Mariken coughed and retched against
the man’s groin
and
her will.
By then, the man had lost all traces of dynamism and any desire to pindown Mariken’s head had passed. Fearing she might vomit on the man, Mariken rolled to her side and retched against the cement floor.
The world sobered (the way the world sobers when a man comes).
All sound bounced against the wordless red noise like careening shopping carts. Vagus took a sterile pleasure in listening to
the man compulsively scratch his nose with his knuckle
and
Mariken cough
Mariken retch
Mariken sniffle.
In that sterility, the man felt that he would never again need sex. (This was a mistaken but sincere belief he had arrived at many times before.) With his impartiality restored, the man began to calculate the aftermath. On the man’s right hand, below a row of second knuckles, there was
a jailhouse green diamond
and
a jailhouse green heart
and
a jailhouse green club
and
a jailhouse green spade
and
cum.
Using her indexfinger like a quill and a small pool of cum like an inkpot, Mariken’s mother traced the familiar green outlines. After she completed each suit, she tilted her head to the most submissive angle she knew (38 degrees) and looked up at the man for a pronouncement. <Behind Mariken’s back> / <behind the prominent bony nodules in Mariken’s skinny underage back>, the 2 thought grimly about
what would happen
and
what would be determined to have happened
and
what was determined
and
what was predetermined.

Mariken knew that the more she retched, the more she forced their hands.
Mariken hopped to her knees
and
said that was hot.
The man and the woman were absolved. They had not expected to be absolved so quickly. They realized they were naked. They felt naked without the bond of co-conspirators and they drifted apart :: The man to his jangley jeans in the corner : Mariken’s mother to her purse in the kitchen.
Mariken dried her face and blotted her shirt with a corduroy slipper. Mariken’s mother concluded that <if Mariken’s father was still awake> then <Mariken had become carsick during their fruitless search for an open pharmacy>.
Mariken’s mother looked in her purse for a black and green striped mint for Mariken because she felt that was what a good mom would do (stipulating that a good mom somehow found herself similarly situated). No green mint was forthcoming.
The girls heard
the man’s truck start in the driveway
then
the man’s tires compress gravel
then
the man’s tires compress asphalt.
“Are you ready?”
Mariken’s mother had said are-you-ready in a friendly way that said I’m ready BUT only if you’re ready. Mariken believed in magic words. She could tell by the way are-you-ready hung in the air completely unaffected and unfiltered by the silent red noise that are-you-ready was magic. Are-you-ready was something that one human being said to another human being, but only if both human beings mattered, and mattered not just in a very small way.

end of excerpt

your thoughts?

Never pick up a pen or go near a keyboard again.

>>6282391
So you see me as a Harper Lee. One GAN and done. Thank you : )

>>6282408
I see you as the shit I wiped off my ass this morning.

>>6282418
I'm sorry someone defecated on you.

>>6282420
You misunderstand. I took a shit, and when I wiped my ass, I saw your face in the shit on the toilet paper.

>>6282429
From whom did you take it, and why did you then wipe it onto your derriere? Are you a very specific type of burglar?

>>6282384
The kind of twenty-year-old boys that buy one hundred dollar straight razors to shave with in their dorm rooms and think superhero movies are really deep and thoughtful will eat this up.

>>6282443
*tips trilby*

>>6282453
>The kind of twenty-year-old boys WHO buy one hundred dollar straight razors to shave with in their dorm rooms and think superhero movies are really deep and thoughtful will eat this up.
>fixd

>>6282475
OP, seriously, don't post here ever again.

>>6282384
This is the greatest piece of literature I have ever read. Nabokov, Proust, Dostoevsky, Kafka. All these are names of writers who can not even compare to the master craftsmanship you have just revealed to us. I am going to reread this over and over for the rest of my life, neglecting to attend to my basic bodily needs, as this masterpiece is so encompassing that nothing I can hope for throughout the rest of my life will be even a micro-fraction as entertaining as this brilliant story you have presented us. As a matter of fact I am now going to kill myself, because upon reading your excerpt I have experienced the ultimate bliss.

>>6282475
No, I meant "that."

>>6282137
>>6282143
>Sasha Kaplan-Leblanc
>faggy jewish male first name that sounds like a female name but is actually a male name for fags
>frog-jewish hyphenated surname

/pol will have a field day when they find this thread.

>>6282486
this post is derivative of Infinite Jest
2/10

Our eBookstore partners will reject books that contain any of the following, but may reject any book for any reason they deem appropriate:

Any depiction of children in any sexual situation.
Images of penetrative sex, oral/genital contact, or genitals
Anything, text or images, the encourages the commission of a crime.
Images intended for the, "sole purpose of sexual arousal."
Anything they deem excessively crude. This is not limited to sexually explicit content.

>nobody has a problem with this

>>6282544
you're a derivative infinite jest

>>6282481
this is correct

>>6282555
Not really. Publishers don't have to publish smut if they don't want to. They aren't the government, they don't have to respect your first amendment rights.

>>6282238
This is a specious leap that requires many inferences that are not supported by the original text.

>>6282555
Yeah, that's dumb, but look at what OP wrote.

writer like OP make fascists feel OK about their life decisions

this entire thing is the shitpost of the week

FOURTY KEKLES TO YOU OP

47 posts from 8 ppl

>>6282564
One could contend that Amazon relies on the internet which was developed using US tax dollars.

One could contend that Amazon is a monopoly and should be broken up.

But ultimately, government action is not the dire endstate we should be seeking to prevent. Government action is but one possible means to an end - and that end is the death of the marketplace of ideas. Whether it's brought about by government or government sanctioned corporations is immaterial.

>>6282601
>One could contend that Amazon relies on the internet which was developed using US tax dollars.
One would be making a shit argument. Does that mean I can spray paint 'FUCK CUNT NIGGERS' on a police station and expect not to get in any kind of trouble just because the government paid for that station?
>One could contend that Amazon is a monopoly and should be broken up.
That's a better argument.
>Government action is but one possible means to an end - and that end is the death of the marketplace of ideas.
Now we're cooking with fire.

>>6282576
Yakov?

>>6282609
Well it's Spring. Are we Occupying this year or what?

>>6282616
I'm gonna be too busy smoking weed to protest, just like everyone else who might care.

>>6282564
>smut
>Anything, text or images, the encourages the commission of a crime.
>Anything they deem excessively crude. This is not limited to sexually explicit content.

I fear the day when I am no longer allowed to call you a retard.

>>6282632
Again, it's a private publisher, not an organization that has an obligation to respect your right to free speech.
No one is silencing OP, he should find a different publisher if he really cares about this. Maybe even try a non-eBook publisher.

>>6282643
Just because Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo, and Steam have banned your game doesn't mean you can't find another platform - like the N-Gage

>>6282657
Maybe if no one wants to publish you you just might not be a very good writer.
Maybe there's no reason to include underage sex and fetish shit in a first novel.

>>6282661
>Maybe there's no reason to include underage sex and fetish shit in a first novel.

There's a good little drone.

>>6282675
I'm just saying, maybe you shouldn't pull out all the edge you can for your debut.

>>6282643
Not even that, he could just put this shitfest on his homepage as a mobi and epub, organize the payment himself via paypal or credit cards, but nooooo, ophas his rights trampled on or some shit like that

you americans, this thread is hilarious

>>6282681
I'm just deriding the commercial sensibilities that pervade your brain.

>>6282683
It's hilarious that he can't think around publishers in this day and age. When shit like Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality can get as many page views as it did he has no reason to complain.

>>6282681
And this was my first novel.

>>6282708
Well, if you don't want to think commercially, don't send your manuscript to a commercial publisher.
>>6282723
Am I supposed to be familiar with that?

>>6282717
Harry Potter was first published in print by Bloomsbury and the author was given an advance. But other than that, your comparison is apt.

>>6282739
I was talking about this.
http://hpmor.com/

>>6282730
I agree, capitalism is antiquated. The time for violent revolution is now.

>>6282747
Kind of putting the cart before the horse aren't you mate?

>>6282748
The Kingdom is not of this world. Hope, love, good works and faith are the way to conquer capitalism.

>>6282723
kek, what a cuck

>>6282755
How so?

>>6282322
Are you trolling, OP? This has no literary value. It reads like a rape fantasy. You didn't deserve to get published.

>>6282384
I like it. I don't know why, but I like it.

Does anyone else feel like smoking some cigarettes? More specifically Marlboro's™?

>>6282160
your book is self published smut, who gives a shit?

>straight people acting like tinder is revolutionary

>>6282122
Content is bad, styles interesting

Statement
and
another statement

read like a mix of poetry and prose, something I'll explore myself

Congrats OP, you've influenced me

>>6283784
That being said, I also think you should get rid of the underage sex. It's disgusting and unnecessary

>>6282122
>>6282723
Dude. Get someone else to design your covers.

well, i didnt plan on it but i read every word. it captured my attention wholesale. keep goin OP, and know that /lit/ can be a very shit place to put out some of your content for opinion

honest to god, you sound like Ignatius Reilly in your emails.

>>6282143
>TWAT is 350 pages of serious literary fiction and you reject it because of written depictions of underage sex and hand-drawings of vaginas.

I keep rereading this sentence and find myself laughing every time.

>>6282270
Not up to the quality level of From Nickels to Ounces.

>>6284514
Does anyone have the review that /lit/izen wrote where they call this a masterpiece?

>>6283784
>>6283846
>>6284287

Thank you.

>>6282160
>60 percent of the e-book market
Oh no, no one will ever be able to read my cock vore Babylon 5 fanfic! I'm being silenced! RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE

>>6282384
The Stasia passage was pure pseudointellectualism. The CP was actually better - the narrative flowed naturally between the perspectives of the characters who actually seemed somewhat human. I have absolutely no idea what the stylistic gimmicks were for though. I also assumed there was some context to/reason for that passage being there, although your publisher's letter seems to suggest otherwise. What is this story actually about? (>inb4 writing "about" something is for plebs) You clearly derive a lot of your idea of what good writing is from /lit/, which you should stop doing, but you seem to work harder than most people on /lit/ which is a plus.

>>6285367
Here's a synopsis of TWAT:
(1 of 2)

SEPTEMBER 15th of 2012:
Dean Andrew Jansen, a handsome an intelligent surfer, is the most prolific serial dater in Los Angeles County. Dean is also the only person in human history to have never forgotten.
Aurore, a cute MDMA enthusiast from Paris, responds to Dean’s Craigslist post entitled, “Thirteen Unfulfilled Fetishes.” While waiting for Aurore at a Starbucks, Dean becomes the first person in North America to download Tinder.
Dean and Aurore recognize a desperate ennui in one another, and the two adjourn to Dean’s condo on the water in Malibu where they have rough sex, less than an hour after having first met. At midnight, Dean and Aurore take a kayak onto the ocean to watch a meteor shower.
EITHER <Dean drowns Aurore by throwing her overboard after fastening a weight around her waist with an industrial zip-tie.> OR <Dean does not drown Aurore. The two return to the condo, again have rough sex, then the two fall asleep.>
REGARDLESS <Sheriff’s deputies awaken Dean at 3am to investigate his potential suicide. Dean recalls his time in Iraq and he views the deputies as buffoonish security guards. Dean convinces the deputies that he would not commit suicide because he lives on a private beach and because there is a naked French girl waiting inside to have sex with him. The Deputies leave. Aurore disappears from Dean’s life.>

(2 of 2)

SEPTEMBER of 2013:
Mariken, a 19-year-old runaway from the Netherlands who matched with Dean on Tinder, has an aggressive brain tumor. Mariken needs money to pay for airfare back to Holland to receive life-saving surgery. Dean seduces and eventually prostitutes Mariken, until he loses interest.
At a night of bar trivia, a girl mentions in passing that ninety percent of Egyptian women have undergone female circumcision. Later, while Dean penetrates that girl from behind, he becomes distracted by the memory of Isis, an Egyptian-American girl he devirginized a year prior, and he feels as though he has forgotten something for the first time ever.
Seeking to abate the sickly feeling of having forgotten, Dean visits one of his lovers, a psychologist, and the two have bondage themed sex. The psychologist suggests that Dean build a photo collage to jog his memory.
Dean flashes back as he builds a collage of the 111 girls he has slept with since the dawn of Tinder. Dean then feels that he has finally remembered the thing he could not remember. Namely, Isis was circumcised - and that is the reason he was unable to bring her to orgasm.
Willing to do anything to be back in Dean’s life, Isis agrees to allow Dean to prostitute her for sport. Isis waits in Dean’s condo for her first john, who has agreed to Isis’ request to have Dean present. Isis mentions to Dean that a Dutch mutual acquaintance of theirs has died from a brain tumor. It seems Dean has completely forgotten Mariken, and he fails to make the connection.
To Dean’s bewilderment, the john arrives and brings Isis to a squirting orgasm. Realizing that Isis was not in fact circumcised and feeling sexually inadequate, Dean appears on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Before Dean can reflect, time slows and the floor falls out from under him. He drifts in space and loses control of his thoughts, seemingly overwhelmed by solipsism and narcissism.
Dean does not have a nervous breakdown, but rather, DEAN ALONE IS THE METAPHYSICAL ENTIRETY OF THE UNIVERSE, and all time and matter are contained in the things he sees and remembers.
After traveling disembodied and binding all things, a cycle of time again places Dean at his night of bar trivia in Santa Monica. It then seems that the thing Dean Andrew Jansen cannot remember is guilt for having drowned Aurore - perhaps out of PTSD - perhaps out of boredom.

>>6285696
Sounds awful.

>>6284698

>>6282384
Am I crazy? How can anyone like this? How did this get written? By a real, live human being, no less? It would make me much more comfortable to think this was something simply found on the ground one day, no author, no origins, because at least then the blame wouldn't seep from the pussed crotch of humanity—wouldn't find it's way to me, in some way.

How does this exist? I'm literally flabbergasted. The prose is beyond awful. A failed experiment. A mewling, gasping mind-abortion waiting to be put out of its misery the old-fashioned way.

Send your son out back with a shotgun and clean this mess up for fuck's sake.

>>6286008
>literally

>>6286008
>I'm literally flabbergasted.
Clearly, we've got a real master of the English language on our hands.

>>6286027
You beat me to it.

>>6286008
>literally flabbergasted
You're quaking with fear?

>>6286027
>>6286029
That's a perfectly valid use of "literally". Maybe a little redundant but not so much that it's worth pointing out.

>>6286029
>>6286034
>>6286038
What's wrong, can't deal with the ever-shifting vernacular?

>>6286038
Check your dictionary m8.

>>6286042
Agreed. My objection was on grounds of style. The usage was not strictly and perennially incorrect, but rather a microcosm for the shortcomings of the poster as a human being.

>>6286044
"Flabb" meaning "shake", "strike" or "flap", and "erghast" meaning "scare" or "astonish".

>>6286059
Right and "flabbergasted" meaning "amazed", "confounded", "perplexed", "astonished" or "overcome with surprise and bewilderment".
>m-muh etymology!
Fuck off.

>>6286059
I'll defend the developmentally disabled young man who wrote "literally flabbergasted" because I pride myself on being fair and because he is unable due to his retardation.

A word's ultimate etymology is not necessarily dispositive of its definition.

>>6286067
Clearly the root of a word isn't the meaning (with a few exceptions, like supposedly "beast"), but as he said "literally" I took the chance to crack a joke at his expense. Was it mean-spirited ("of common breath")? A bit, maybe, but I regret nothing.

>>6286083
Nice fedora. I particularly like the flame pattern around the sides.

>>6286083
>mean-spirited ("of common breath")
Off yrself

>>6286083
I made this just for you.

>>6286008
>LITERALLY

God fucking damn when will the kids start using figuratively when they mean it?

>complaining about prose
>can't write for shit

nyse jub kedo

>>6286125
I MADE THIS FOR YOU

>>6286125
He said "I'm literally flabbergasted". He was not figuratively flabbergasted at all. While it was an unnecessary and redundant use of "literally", it definitely wouldn't have been better to say "figuratively".

>>6282384
Not only do you have no basis whatsoever to call this "literary fiction," but it's also flat out uncomfortable and cringeworthy to read.

Not only is it terrible, it's also obviously some sort of sexual fetish of yours that you're fapping while writing.

If i was that company, i would have just rejected your shit without sending you any reason, hoping you just go away. You're lucky you got what you did. Please, either get mental help, or if possible, end your life.

>>6284524
i second this post, someone please find it

>>6286170
>>6284524
This one?

"Never before have I seen an author so bold as to entirely mask their identity and so capable of sliding into the patois of the streets - going so far as to write the ENTIRE BOOK in the thug lingo. Such dedication to the craft is truly admirable, but highly deceptive. "Deandre", although I would be willing to wager that this street persona is little more than another character in the real author's master stroke of irony and social parody, paints such a compelling picture of the complexities of ghetto life that it requires every ounce of my strength to NOT don a pair of jeans 3 sizes too large and tattoo my knuckles with SWAG.

"The true strength of the work is in its ability to communicate subtleties through the mangled prose (which was almost certainly written this way as a matter of the author's intent, for nothing happens in literature that is not consciously intended by the author), comparable in this case to such masterpieces as Riddley Walker. His characters, as complex as the tyrants of Greek tragedy and the figures of Shakespeare's greatest work (an ambitious claim to make for an author's first work, but please, trust me on this one: read past the first chapter. What at first appears to be complete shit evolves in parallel with the fluid narrative, blossoming into a work of completion as beautiful and as whole as any of Hesse's greats).

"I almost never buy books - I admit it, I'm a shameless eBook pirate. My Kindle is chock full of PDFs that I never paid a dime for. But let me tell you: I bought THREE copies of this book, created two whole Amazon accounts to be able to get it. So if you want an extra copy of it just email me at: fedora@euphoric.com. I'll hook you up."

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2E5XAV488GR9J/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B005HI30XO&channel=detail-glance&nodeID=283155&store=books#wasThisHelpful

>>6286083
>as it mean-spirited ("of common breath")? A bit, maybe, but I regret nothing.

I love this dude. If I was building a super-hero team, he would be The Etymologist (I just trademarked that!) and he would practically write himself. Good show.

>>6286145
>Not only do you have no basis whatsoever to call this "literary fiction," but it's also flat out uncomfortable and cringeworthy to read.
"Whatsoever" is redundant and poor writing. Notice how a bracket around <uncomfortable and cringeworthy> removes the ambiguity in the English language that makes it seems as if the literary fiction in question is itself physically uncomfortable.

>Not only is it terrible, it's also obviously some sort of sexual fetish of yours that you're fapping while writing.
"terrible" - This is unsupported, lazy writing.

>If i was that company,
The phrase the poster was searching for is "If I were." This poster is unfamiliar with the unreal present conditional tense. He likely attended a public high school in the US with many non-native English speakers who lowered the bar for acceptable grammar.

>Please, either get mental help, or if possible, end your life.
There should not be a comma in front of an "or" in an either/or construction. "If possible" should have been set off as its own clause.

Based upon these observations, I am forced to conclude that the underlying criticism is baseless.

>>6286125
>God fucking damn when will the kids start using figuratively when they mean it?
No. That usus of 'literally flabbergasted' doesn't mean 'figuratively flabbergasted', it means "you're so stupid that I'll pretend I'm literally flabbergasted".

It's similar in meaning to the '>implying' greentext schtick.

Also, pls don't be an autist.

>>6286390
OP please fuck off back to whatever shithole you came from, your autism is showing.

>>6286445

>>6286390
>Based upon these observations, I am forced to conclude that the underlying criticism is baseless.

Alright, cool. I'm sure you have a bright future ahead of you in the literary world.

>>6286475
>He thinks he can be this thin-skinned and be a professional writer

>>6286503
>>6286508
INTELLECTUALLY BESTED!