/lit/ - Literature

One time I bought CoL49 from a small bookstore in my city. Guy at the counter was trying to make pleasant chitchat about the (then upcoming) adaptation of Inherent Vice. I gave him really short replies, basically just brushing him off because I didn't feel like talking. Then he hands me the change (like 20 coins) and I fumble, dropping them all on the floor. Laboriously pick them up and drop them again. Guy at the counter is peeved because Im obstructing customers. As I turn to leave I try and smile and say 'I guess gravity's rainbow wasnt on my side then, ha ha ha.' The guy didnt smile at all. It was a stupid joke and I still cringe really hard when I think about it.

>>6274264
I thought it was funny

>>6274264
This will be recorded in the annals of history for all time. Commit suicide now.

That whole week I tried to find the first edition Yiddish translation of Himmler's collected speeches in Tel Aviv, jeesh that was some spaghetti.

>>6274264
lol

>go to big chain bookstore
>pick up Mein Kampf, Lolita, and The God Delusion
>waiting in line for ages
>light up a stogie
>start loudly chatting up old ladies and families in line next to me
>thumb through the expensive knick-knacks next to the checkout, knocking several onto the floor, and repeatedly tell my fellow line-goers to “look at all this horseshit”
>complain that there are too few cashiers per customer, allege that this is the fault of “kikes”
>finally reach the checkout
>array the books so their covers are all facing up
>toss them onto the counter in a radial formation, all facing directly at the cashier, a slightly overweight girl in her early 20s
>she looks down at them and pauses, her jaw dropping in disbelief as the fuhrer himself stares back up at her
>blow smoke into her face and ask “some kind of problem, toots?”
>she coughs and nervously stutters the name of the book, as if to verify that someone could ever purchase it intentionally
>”yeah” I reply, before placing my index finger on the cover of Lolita, and leaning across to her side of the counter
>”and this one’s about a pedophile”
>her face is now wan with shock and horror
>”oh my god,” she mutters
>”God’s dead, honey”
>everyone around us goes dead silent
>pick up the books and leave without paying
>no one even calls security

>>6274345
top kek

>>6274345
>oh my god
>god's dead, honey

Having absence seizures and spacing out when I'm supposed to give the money. Not specific to bookstores, but seriously, it's embarrassing.

>>6274296
me2

>>6274310
That's pretty rude anon. Just sharing a slice of life

Not really awkward, but amusing.

I had gone to Powell's to buy Naked Lunch since they had it for real cheap. There was a middle-age woman in front of me at the checkout buying the Fault in Our Stars and an older woman at the register. They spent a couple minutes talking about how inspiring John Green was, that his books were so sad and heartwarming.

Then I went up with Naked Lunch and the cashier's smile just died.

Checking out "The Essentials of Marxism" and "God is not Great" when I knew the old lady librarian from church. I told her it was for mere research in my refutation essay for school. She was really senile and believed it, but still told my parents ("he's SO smart, and SO immovable in his faith; he doesn't get tempted by ANY demonic book") My parents then asked me how my essay/research paper thing was going and I had to read Aquinas, Kierkegaard and Milton Freedman/Ayn Rand pull out some stupid defense for Christianity and Capitalism. The paper I wrote was so dishonest, but that's what I get for not temporarily stealing the controversial books I want to read here. (in the deep south U.S)

>>6274438
Man, fuck capitalism. That shit is indefensable.

What are you meant to say when you're by yourself browsing a bookshelf in a store, and then some qt 3.14 stands next to you to look for a book?
It happened twice in the same day in two different stores. It felt awkward when both of us were crouching down next to each other looking at the bottom shelf of the lit section.

Anyway I recently bought The Beach by Alex Garland and the woman at the counter asked me, "So are you going through the classics?" I didn't know if she was being sarcastic or not.

>>6274345
>nothing personnel kid

>>6274379
fuck...

>>6274535
What? You don't have to say anything at all. How fucking autistic are you?

>>6274535

It's all in your head, that baby qt didn't wanted anything, it was just your autistic anxiety playing games with you

>>6274535
You snort and tell her to get the fuck out of your space.

How can be embarrasing purchasing a book?
Are you supposed to feel some kind of shame when you buy a concrete book?
You usually mention Lolita, but I don't conceive that purchasing a classic novel can be embarrasing. Not even a Marquis de Sade book.
It's not like when I bought some suppositories and the chick at the drug store gave me that weird smile like saying 'I know you're putting those things up your ass'.

>Go to bank teller window.
>I need to make a deposit.
>Yes sir.
>*Throw up all over the counter*
>*then pull a check out of your pocket* Oh, and this too.

>>6274682
>It's not like when I bought some suppositories and the chick at the drug store gave me that weird smile like saying 'I know you're putting those things up your ass'.
It's also not like the pharm tech trying to get chummy with me over Plan B pills.

>>6274387
LMAO. Just fucking kill yourself. I'm literally just sitting here, annotating my copy of Finnegans Wake and occasionally glancing at /lit/ to laugh at the vacuous posters on here such as yourself. You are a mentally stunted child, and if I ever met someone of your stature I would make you piss yourself by exposing just how stupid you are. I am the darkness thar consumes this world, you pathetic cunt.

>>6274345
>blow smoke into her face and ask “some kind of problem, toots?”
I lost

>>6274264
I like your style anon

>check out 'atlas shrugged'
>old lady librarian won't be quiet about it
>i say something like 'well, in rand's world, your profession wouldnt exist!'
>she doesnt laugh
>i say 'thanks, bye'
>go home and shitpost on /lit/

>>6274026
no

but i did get a bunch of books, like slaughterhouse five, catcher and the rye, and two others, and the guy thought i was checking out required readings for a class. i just said yes to keep it short. i was like 14 at the time

I often spend hundreds of minutes looking at the philosophy section of libraries even though I won't buy or already have bought what I was there for with the hopes of striking conversation with a cute grill looking for something decent, but usually the ones I meet are looking for garbage pop-philosophy so I prefer not to speak to them.

>Old college had bar codes to check books out, but also some dumb-ass security system to manage material
>In the spring and fall you could walk through the detector just fine, but in the winter, I had a heavy coat and some /sci interaction between the static electricity and their interaction made the sensors go off when I walked back through, even though the books had already been scanned and cleared by the desk.
I broke down after the third time this happened and bought a rolling backpack, and just dragged the damn books behind me. Still went off for no reason once in a while.
Btw, way to go, putting an alarm system in the opening of a library, where people are trying to read and study.

>buying a few books at a fancy, well-established bookstore in the semi-hipster area of town
>Island by Aldous Huxley
>The Picture of Dorian Gray
>Cat's Cradle by Vonnegut
>Go to check out
>cashier checking out my books while older cashier (I assume the owner) goes
>"Ahh, Cat's Cradle. I envy the person who is reading this for the first time."
>I go "uh, that's me."
>take my change and leave

I just thought it was really weird. I mean, I enjoyed the book, but it wasn't a fucking religious experience like this guy was portraying it.

>>6274699
From this dungeon’d world, where death and madness fill the dark with shrieks, we thank Thee, uttermost No.6274699, for that Thy light hath smitten one moment for Anonymous. From Thy throne the lightning came; the bright exceeding flash came down and smote No.6274387; the lightning of Thy wrath devour’d No.6274387.

>>6274026
I was checking out the girl with curious hair, just a couple quick glances, didn't think she'd notice, tried looking away but not fast enough, for a moment I thought she'd maybe joke about her eyes being up there but no she just gives me that dirty look and then out of nowhere starts a rant against drugs

>>6274736
Oh what, Bokononism isn't good enough for you?

Most awkward experience I've had are those times when you grab too many books, and only end up reading three or four of them, and then when you go to return them, the librarian that you're friendly with sees an interesting title and asks you "How was it?"

...
........
................"It was good"

>>6274345
>>6274690
nothing never happened personnel things kid

Im terrified that one day Ill meet one of my teachers/lecturers in the library, browsing the books of their respective specialities. I feel as though they'd think I'm an overeaching faggot for being so studious

>>6274026
Not quite but the closest for me

>run into convenience store with book in hand
>checking out with debit card
>hear what sounds like a soft laugh or scoff, "nice book"
>look down at my copy of Lolita "well yeah..ah..you know..the covers a little weird aha"
>walk out of store with a trail of spaghetti in my wake

Wasn't sure whether to assume he read the book and I should proceed with conversation or he just thought I was a 'peculiar' man.

>buying Lolita
>girl checking it out scoffs
>gives me a smile
>leave confused

>leaving your house
>not ordering all your books

>>6275383
Momma said she can't order for me and that I gotta go pick them up myself.

>>6275368
only way it could have been more awkward....
Was it a teenager working their after-school job?

Imagine checking out lolita from a comely teenage girl, she passes the book back to you and you smell her perfume as she asks "what's that one about?'

Ummm, gotta go,

>>6274535
You don't HAVE to say anything. It is acceptable to say "hi" and commence from there to small or medium talk, just like when starting a conversation with any other stranger. Possibly ask them what they're looking for, and continue a conversation from there.

>>6274345
>pick up Mein Kampf, Lolita, and The God Delusion

>>6274345
this one gets me every time

>>6274345
Probably the best copypasta to come out of this place.

>>6274880
You know, this doesn't actually have to be awkward if you're not actually reading the book FOR the pedophilia.

Or if you can convincingly fake it or at least not be ashamed of it; if you've ever bought condoms, lube, sex toys, and/or women's clothing from a physical store without having a breakdown, you've probably figured out how to do this. (It's not hard!)

>>6275407
From my memory she was either 25 or 35 and she was good licking. I'm sure she knew what it was. She gave me a subtle boner

What kind of Libraries do you go to? In which part of the world?

>tfw you carry a sade book in public and strike up a conversation with an 9/10 girl with an afro who is reading deleuze

never again

>>6275439
this whole thread reminds me of the joke of the guy who played a prank, because he was buying booze for a party, he had seven or eight cases and bottles, and then he decided to mess with people, added a bag of diapers, and then when he got to the checkout, he pretended he didn't have enough money for the whole purchase, and he asked for the diapers to be put back. He said the other people in line chipped in so that he could get the diapers, and then he just felt silly trying to figure out who he could give this bag of diapers to when he didn't even have nephews/nieces/friends who were parents

What's the deal with Lolita? The few times I have read it outside of my house and being asked what's about I just tell them the truth. If people don't get literature or get a bad moral impression from a description you should not care unless you live in an area where you could be "threatened" because of morals.

>>6275459
>9/10
>afro
>deleuze
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvBK5jsBSVo

>>6275521
Weird stigma about pedophilia, I don't get it
Not against the act itself, I understand that, and I'm just as much against it as the next guy, (unless the next guy is a pedophile) but there's a stigma against talking about it, at least in my region, and that's stupid, how are you supposed to prevent it without talking about it?

Besides, it's not as if it was an instruction manual, why don't people get nervous when you watch Dexter, Hannibal, or Psycho?
hell, you could probably be caught reading crime and punishment by your landlady and she'd only think you were well educated.

>>6275540
>"no."

i feel for this lad

>>6274345
Is this satirical of something or just a story to think "this would be funny if it actually happened?" idgi

>going to a bookstore when amazon and piracy exists

>>6274348
>>6274361
>>6274538
>>6274703
>>6274783
>>6275428
>>6275594
first time here?

>>6275597
>PDF's

>>6275610
No, you fucking retard.

>>6275615
>No, you fucking retard.

Don't just leave me confused. How does one pirate a book.

>>6275597
>not wanting to read a physical book

>>6275632
caliente

>>6275660
woops, meant calibre

>>6275665
>Caliente
kek.

Also, shit. I had completely forgotten about caliber. I didn't really like it though. I don't like reading a non physical book

>>6275603
Not really. :\

>>6274310
Picture + file name

Vomited all over myself

>>6275660
ayy caramba

>>6274264
>I guess gravity's rainbow wasnt on my side then, ha ha ha.'

>>6274826
They definitely would.

>>6274826
I'm sure they would appreciate it, anon

>>6274026
yeah like the time i tried to steal one and the scanner went off. that was awkward. talked my way out of it easily though

>>6274438
wow anon. you should move away.

>>6275774
Did you take out the magnetic strip?
Are you a high-functioning Down Syndrome child?

>>6275779
i actually did, that was the surprising bit.

>>6275793
Did you keep it on your person or something?
Just curious

>>6274438
Hey at least you learned opposing view points, should make your criticisms much more valid. Never argue for Atheism online, keep it academic if you can. You will only spawn edgelords and shitposting.