/lit/ - Literature

Supposedly she was fucking literally everyone in town.

Makes you wonder, because lots of chicks got executed who were accused of fucking everyone. Like....where's a gal find the time to bang the entire senate?

More than likely it's just an excuse because she used too much teeth on his dick or something.

>100 word essay
>25% of the grade for the class
>Due tomorrow
>Haven't even started yet
>I'm fucked

>75 word essay
>humanist sex privilege theory
>due one week
>100% of the grade
>haven't started, it's too hard

>>6228612
>100 word essay
>100
what

>20 word essay
>analysis of Being and Tim
>due two years
>0.2% of the grade
>haven't even started; too hard and can't write that much

>>6228612
>0 word essay
>can for the life of me not find the energy to create a empty word document and send it in
>due before the date of my death
>my only hope is immortality so I can postpone it forever

>teacher doesn't assign anything
>I am very autistic and routine oriented, my teacher usually assigns homework, I can't deal with not having homework
>explode, fail the class

>>6228629
I must write an essay 100 words in lengthand turn it in to my professor by tomorrow morning. As it counts for 25% of the grade I will be receiving in this class, it is quite important that I complete this assignment. Despite this, I haven't even started writing the paper. As a result, my college career is in jeopardy.

>>6228589

>not examining whether tractus is a reliable source
>not comparing other portrayals of messalina

enjoy your pleb school and pleb education and pleb life

>First in my class in chemistry class in high school.
>Proud of my work.
>Teacher doesn't collect homework at beginning of class.
>Raise my hand and say "Um, mr. fuckballs, aren't you going to collect our homework?"
>Huge jock sitting next to me throws his hands up in the air, says "What the fuck man?" looks at me angrily.
>Punches me right in the eye.
>He gets suspended, i had to go the rest of the year with an eyepatch. Homework suffered because i can't see shit.

so fucking sad that this is true.

>>6228656
C-

Too many prepositions utilized to begin sentences. Poor effort.

>>6228707
Yeah, agreed. I read it over after I had posted it and had to cringe to myself. Sorry

>>6228606
Augustus' daughter had the same shit happen. She was accused of banging all these senator. So she got banished, and the senators were all executed or committed suicide.

Funny thing was, those senators all just happened to be some of Augustus' worst enemies in the senate. I'm sure that's a coincidence.

>>6228643
underrated post.

>>6228706
You deserved it

>>6228677
MIDF pls go

>>6228815
Yeah, it wasn't until i was in college and smoking a lot of pot that i realized how much of an unlikable little weasily fuck i was back then.

>>6228706
If you had any balls you would do it again next time the jock was allowed in class.

>>6228677

All I have to do is go, "Tacitus says this..." which implies a "take that as you will!" sort of deal.

Historians take bullshit, say its bullshit, and integrate it into their narrative anyways all the time.

>ancient chronicler says something exaggerated and probably untrue
>historian quotes it, saying it's exaggerated and probably untrue
>reader assumes its true anyways, historian makes mad book sales without loss of credibility

>-684 word essay
>due twenty four hours before the date of my birth
>it hasnt started on me yet

>>6228612
Any essay shorter than a thousand words can and should be done a couple hours before it's due. What the fuck kind of plebs are you?

>>6228879
I adhered to this rule and my useless degree is still hanging while I live dat based NEET life.

>>6228879

>library printer jams
>spend 10 minutes breaking it open and fixing it while the librarians yell at me and call security
>print my paper, sprint past security to my next class
>run to the Social Sciences building, look through the window and see the teacher collecting papers
>do a diving dodge roll through the window, shattering the glass and slicing up my body
>roll right in front my teacher and recover just in time to hand her my paper
>she doesn't accept it because it's covered in blood and broken glass
>mfw

>>6228589
>Harvard referencing
F-

>>6228964
>not accepting an essay because it's covered in blood and broken glass
Well la-de-da, what kind of fancy ass Ivy League univeristy did you go to?

>>6228809

agreed

>>6228706

holy shit

>>6228868

kek

>>6228589
Ctrl+F makes homework much easier

>>6228589
>>750 word essay
Every essay I did at university was 4000 words. My dissertation was 20000. Where the fuck did you go?

>>6228706
Fucking lol

>>6228833
Happens. No sense dwelling on it.

>>6229322
Came to Cardiff to study for a semester. Every Essay is 2000 words maximum. I have literally nothing to do

>>6228833

Haha, you actually believed him? Of course you should have told the teacher. You're at school to learn, not to be lazy. If Chad doesn't want to do chemistry, we should let him not do it - and get his just deserts.

>>6229322

A university that actually wants well-researched papers edited to be concise.

Every single page citation in my papers is completely accurate, and I try to read 50+ pages for every page I write.

I finally realized that paper-writing isn't a writing assignment- it's a reading assignment.

>>6229350
Yeah, and as a consequence you get a fist right in your eye for pissing off roided up chad.

Welcome to reality.

>>6229364

You didn't get a fist in your eye because you told "da teach" about homework, you got a fist in your eye because you're weak and he wanted to show off.

>>6229385
So? Still doesn't change that you got a fucking fist in your eye.

When you get out into the real world you start to realize that nothing works the way it should work.

>100 word master's thesis due in three months
>no sources necessary
>can't stop browsing /lit/

>>6228589
Wow
That's so fucking cute, OP.
I've got a 20 page minimum research paper due next week for the senior capstone course of my english lit degree.
I fucking hate this stupid >100 words essay meme
Some of us actually write real research papers you fucking pleb.

>>6229415
whats your paper on? Let me guess, why xxx was a repressed homosexual?

>>6229415

It's one question on a single midterm for an online course. There's other shit I have to do.

>>6229364
>chad
how bad do you have it man?

>>6228589
>probably thinks this is what it means to start with the Greeks
>doesn't even get to enjoy Tacitus, the sassiest and most fun of the Romans

They're creating bullshit and calling it a paper.

>>6228855
Dude did you stop reading ancient history after fucking Herodotus or only read Livy or some shit? You are clueless

>>6229467

Not interested in being a homosexual, sorry.

>>6229415
>"I've got a 20 page minimum research paper due next week for the senior capstone"

I had to write an 80 page honors thesis on a poetic movement. Oh wait, I didn't have to, I chose to, because I thought it'd be a good learning experience, and my thesis earned the approval of every advisor assigned to my project.

I don't mention this to boast, but just to point out that your acting high and mighty over writing a 20 page paper. Any English major on this board has to do that. Quit getting upset over memes.

>boasting about how many pages you wrote

More pages makes it easier. You have to do more reading and writing, sure, but editing it down is always the hardest part.

>>6229634
There was a minimum word count, though my project was composed as multiple theses to support and underlying thesis.

Is this an excessive amount of citations for one page?

>>6229652
No?

>>6229659

Great. Needs more citations.

>>6229652
>amount of citations
>amount

>>6229400
>not using lit as a source
>not realizing master thesis' are a spook

>>6229652
Teachers get massive throbbing erections because of citations, I'd say use as many as possible

>>6229385
nah, i think he got a punch in the eye because he was being a fucking imbecile, you don't show off and you don't put other people in bad situations just because you might profit a little from it. A lesson in humility was what he got, i'd side with the puncher one hundred times before i'd get to support the teacher's pet, fucking kneelers

>>6228706
But did the eye patch get u da pussi b0ss?

>>6229880
No, it wasn't like a pirate eye patch, it was a big white medical eye patch, usually had blood and plasma and shit soaking through it.

Also adding to the problem was i was a little scrawny, wheezing twerp, which meant i generally got none.

>>6228997
You must be going to the school of hard knocks

>>6228589
I did that too, once.
>have several books to read and essays to write for finals
>one book is really long, has awful prose, Harry Potter-like characters, essentially just political and religious propaganda
>sparknotes that shit
>read every chapter summary
>come across scenes in chapter summary relevant to my thesis
>find scene in novel and look for relevant quote
>quote directly from book, add page citation
>pepper in quotes in just about every paragraph of essay using this method
>A+ paper written in three hours

Work smarter, not harder.

>>6228656
What's the essay about? Why don't we make it sound hilarious and fucked up?

>>6228612
>420 page paper due in 5 min
>have stick figure drawing cover page
>just found out the scene I drew isn't even from the book I am supposed to report on
>have nothing

>>6230146
very funny

>>6228739
Hey, that was a great scene in I, Claudius.

>>6230146
reported for underage

>2000 word essay due in 1 week
>plenty of time not a problem

Until next wednesday that is

>captcha: dyinn

>>6228656
>100 word essay

So basically you just have to write a paragraph.

Is there a reason they have to put word-limits on essays? This is the stupidest meme in academia next to that privilege and intersectionality BS. I mean an essay with too few words to compellingly explain the issue being dealt with ought to score poorly anyway, so why is a rule needed? The free market will fix it as /pol/ always memes.

>>6231363
I wrote a paper that was 500 words under the minimum once and got an F. I asked my TA about it. She said it was a A paper, but she had to fail me because it wasn't long enough. I got the job done and took up less of everybody's time and resources, why should I be punished? Yes I know, part of the assignment/prompt was that is be a minimum length and I failed to do that, but it just seems arbitrary as fuck

>no ridiculous amount of stress from having to write papers
>no college debt either
I win, you lose

>>6231363
>Is there a reason they have to put word-limits on essays?
Teacher's time is a limited resource, that's about it.

>250 words essay due at noon, not a minute after
>already had one more day than the rest of the students since I have dyslexia
>if I fail my mom will cancel all my good boy points

fml

>have to answer three short questions about the great gatsby by english class tomorrow
>wont do it

>>6231363
The teacher should have a pretty good idea of what to expect from the essays according to the subject it was asked for.
Putting a word-limit gives allows students to allow the essay with a limited freedom, which must be limited in the first years since undergraduates usually think very highly of themselves and can go dozens of pages expressing their teenage-level philosophical thoughts.

Plus, that's training for the real life. If you're going to write an article for a magazine you will have limited space.

>>6228612
>>6228612
>>6228612
>>6228612
>ANONS LITERALLY FALL FOR THIS MEME
HOW CAN YOU FAGGOTS BE SO NEW?

>>6231517
>allows students to allow the essay
to write the essay...

>>6231518
>literally falling for the countermeem

>have to write an essay on marketing
>need to use at least three book sources and two internet sources
>time left: none
>go to library
>borrow three semi-related books
>pick up one line from each book at random
>build the whole essay around those three quotes
>make up the two net citations
>google some advertising agency blogs and name them as sources
>write the essay in 20 minutes
>get a good grade
>"I can see you put some effort into this, anon"

Good times.

>lit capstone course assessing fairy tales and their morphology
>majority of the class is made up of dumb broads who don't even seem to like their major
>always talk about fairy tales in a feminist context
>finally get to a paper
>get a 100
>teacher's response is "I'm so glad someone wrote an essay that wasn't about gender!"
>tfw

>>6230151
>>6231295
How are you this humorless

>>6229350
>Chad

off you go then >>>>>/r9k/

>>6231542
http://vocaroo.com/i/s14YEIMOxesd

>>6228589
>read this thread
>remember when I was just like this during my time at unviersity
>cheated all the time
>didn't actually learn anything
>get a job
>constantly feel afraid
>someone will catch me
>they'll see through the charade
>they dont
>instead get promotion
>this time I will get caught
>I still dont know shit
>change job
>get into higher echelons
>this time I'll surely get caught and fired
>never get caught
>but the lingering feeling though
>it's unbearable

I'm currently in C-level management with budgets around the million. I feel like the biggest fraud in the world. Sometimes I dream I could just go back to university and actually learn the things that I was supposed to learn. This life is unbearable. I'm just faking everything.

>>6231546
Write a book about it

>>6231546

So instead of working to master your job, which you obviously can already handle well enough, and learning things you don't know or remember in your spare time, you rather wallow in self-pity and senseless paranoia? As if you're the only bad person in a flock of virtuous saints?

>>6229393
>high school
>the real world

>have to study for college entrance exam
>5 years later still have to

>>6228639
>Being and Tim

>>6231627
gotta love those 90s meme

>>6229415
/aut/ - autism

>>6231575
I think it was a joke dude.

>>6228706
You deserved that. For real, I would have slapped your shit too.

>>6231505
Does anyone else want to french this bird?

>>6228706
Get out Joyce.
Always in need of Hemmmmmingway not to get fucked up.

In university the library often had only one copy of an assigned book, and in the second and third years people started buying books less and loaning them instead. I would often go in the library at night when it was empty, find a bunch of books that I knew people would be taking out in a panic the following week (they were on an assigned recommended reading list) and I would read them, takes my own notes,a and then deface the books the books to the point were they were ineligible., often ripping out pages or, if it was an old book, whole chapters. There were at least four emails sent around to every English student asking not to damage books and reminding us that other people wanted to use them too, but I would just trash them straight away. One time a girl in a lecture the day an essay was due tried to make the excuse that the book in the library that she'd reserved for loan had been torn in half and the lecturer criticized her for leaving it late and she started crying. Fucking normalfags man, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

>>6231641

Sure as hell didn't sound like one.

How come American education system puts so much weight on the word count? I remember that neither in high school nor uni the assignments had anything beyond a vague page count, and everybody was expected to handle their shit like adults.

>>6231521

>falling for the meta-counter meme

>>6229467
Can confirm. I fucked Herodotus, and now I'm an expert in the Greeks.

>>6231522
You absolute madman!

>>6231575
Yes, it's exactly like that. I feel like a fraud.

raping wikipedia pages for sources is literally the best

>>6231546
never look down

>>6228706
Last time a kid did that we called him Judas and sat in a semi-circle around him in the next class

>>6228719
hey man it was a poor effort, but a great idea.

To be fair they teach us in Historiography that no historian can be expected to read everything, and no academic is an island, having to start from the ground up. Instead they just build off of what others say.

>3000 word brief on administrative procedure law
>Coal miners appeal citation
>complain about validity of the rule
>only it raise it on appeal and not in the initial litigation
Fucking plebs. Get back to mining yer coal

>>6228706
did you fuck afterwards?

>>6231648
>paper due in nine days, 200 people in class
>same assignment every year
>professor keeps mentioning same book over and over
>in library, getting literature
>library has six copies of the same book
>take them all out
>mfw carrying home thirty-five pound backpack

get burned, normies

>>6228606
>>6228589
Messalina was all kinds of stupid. Having a PUBLIC wedding ceremony with another man while Claudius was out of town, then tried to deny it when accused, despite hundreds of witnesses.

Claudius had a hard life.

>140 character social media input due for tomorrow
>cant for the life of me decide how to start

>>6231363
Prof doesn't want uppity undergrads thinking that if they dump thousands of words onto the pages they'll get an A+ without realizing it's garbage.

>>6232764
start with an emoji. That's get the ball rolling

>>6231517
You seem to be confused. This is not a maximum word-limit. Its a minimum word-limit

>tfw e-mailing the professor three times in a row because you keep fucking up your file types