/lit/ - Literature

>book has no pictures

>book

>

>the whole chapter is about the color white

>dream sequence goes on for more than half a page

>book has long paragraphs

>author starts writing in dialect

>book has a female character

>book uses words with more than 7 letters

>>6188345
>dream sequence goes on for more than 30 pages

>turns page and sees no quotations or paragraph breaks

>>6188363
>activate speed reading

>book introduces like 5 characters at once and I'm supposed to keep track of who they all are

Into the trash it goes

>>6188393
into le* trash

>>6188393
>act one scene 2 of a midsummer night's dream
shylock shekelspeare is trash

>crams all physical descriptions of characters in to the beginning of the book so you have to take notes if you want to keep track

>>6188409
>book has physical descriptions of characters

>book does not involve or allude to the supernatural

>>6188362
>70-something pages about a 16 year old fucking a mythical being

>>6188419

>the book has descriptions of anything at all

>>6188362
>book is a dream sequence

>book is happy

>>6188446
this
the only happy books should be ones titled 'mums bums and tums' or something to that effect

>Describes a painting for more than 2 pages
>Quotes lyrics of a song

>fiction that contains metaphorical examples
I didn't pick this up for meta-fiction you shit.

>>6188446
>>6188480
>book describes a definable emotion or tone

>>6188500
>book describes
narrative-free narratives only please

>book was written after 1950

>>6188527
>reading dadfiction

>>6188534
>dadfiction
lmao

>>6188539
>lmao
Ayy

>>6188534
Nice /mu/ meme, friend.

>>6188555
>Ayy
lmao

>book starts with describing the scenery

>book not written by a white male

>>6188571
>book starts

>>6188576
>book not written by anonymous
It's like you want your bias to be easily determined.

>book makes more than a passing reference to the weather

>>6188615
>he doesn't read texts which are nothing more than 300 pages of pathetic fallacy

>>6188615
>the setting has weather

>>6188627
>reading fiction

>the book starts with describing how the protagonist feels.

>>6188636
>the book has a single protagonist

>>6188636
>book contains less than 5 diddlyholes

>book is not being read to you by a cute grill

>the book names its protagoinist

>>6188645

>>6188627
>is honest to god still pressed about getting pathetic fallacy and fatal flaw mixed up on a quiz in 9th grade english and feels deep shame

>>6188650
>the book isn't based on this pic

>book isn't just one 700 page long sentence

>>6188650
>book has a narrator

>>6188650
>book is not being read to you by a cute boi

>>6188663
>book contains molly's monologue

>book is written in the first person

>book doesn't have a gross anal sex scence within the first 25 pages

>prologue
>interlude
>epilogue

>>6188667
>book is not being read to you by a roided manlet 7 inches in your ass

>>6188436
Kingkiller?

>book doesn't have morale ambiguity

>>6188706
why even live?

>the book is one of those books they have now..

>>6188734
>the book is about the fake christian god

>>6188734
>soldiers in book have little morale

>book name checks bands

>>6188740
based god
got tickets to see his "room with a stew" tour

>book is a translation

>>6188740
>>6188755
>stewart lee
>good comedian

>>6188765
who do you like then anon :)

>chapters don't start on a whole new page
>every chapter doesn't have a name
>ever chapter doesn't have a GRRM fancy font style

>>6188771
>chapters are called 'chapter' instead of 'book' or 'canto' or 'scene'

>not uploading the nu metal playlist that inspired you while writing

>book isn't just a string of memes

>>6188494
>book starts with quoting poetry

>>6188778
>cantos aren't each divided by one blank page

>>6188786
>the book isn't just strings

>book isn't written with the purpose of revealing (or at least develop) an universal truth of human nature.

>>6188782
>nu metal

>>6188811
not writng post-ironic 2000s angsty teen bullied at school lit

>>6188817
shit, where did the maymay arrow go

>>6188811
>not getting the reference

>using the smiths as a signifier of good taste n being misunderstood

>>6188827
>implying the smiths weren't the best band ever

>>6188663
i'm writing a book like this, though i'm starting to doubt if anyone will read it

>publishing details
>blank pages
>author's note
>about the author
>author's chronology
>translated by
>translator's note
>preface to the first edition
>preface to the second edition
>note on revised edition
>author's preface
>introduction
>notes to the introduction
>a note on the text
>further reading
>contents page
>map page
>title page
>chapter 1

>>6188847
I can see it already. Commas fucking everywhere.

>>6188847
I thought you were dead, Franz.

>>6188854
>reading books with maps
hahahaha

>>6188854
>notes to the introduction
gross

>>6188861
>war and peace
>mrs dalloway
>dickens
>the illiad

>>6188854
>list of characters
>prelude
>introduction to part 1

>book is popular with your local middle school

>>6188861
uhhhh... heard of game of thrones?

>>6188945
yh it's shit

>abridged version

>>6189001
>unabridged version
Do you like reading long books?

>>6188581

>Book ends

>>6189011
I hope this is bait

>>6189019
kek

>>6188861

>ulysses

>>6189011
top pleb

>Introduction spoils the plot of the book

>>6189051
>reading for plot

>>6189051
>reading mysteries
I knew someone who was convinced this was an actual flaw in C&P

>>6189019
this post is very good

I hate it when chapter has a kind of short description, for example: > Chapter 1, in which our hero goes into the unknown with a girl of his dreams. I can't really remember in which I've seen it, Name of the Rose I think is one of them,

>>6189080
I am interested in this post.

>>6189084
don Quixote

>>6189084
Don Quixote

>>6188300

>Book has gimmick where years are named after consumer products
>Year is stated at the start of each section
>After the author gets bored the gimmick 90% of the book takes place in one of the years

>>6188494

>>6189084
blood meridian

>>6189098
ew Foucault had a gold tooth what a hood rat

>>6189011
pls be troll

>>6188855
well, yeah

>>6188847
Give us an excerpt

>>6189131
it's in spanish

>>6188328
"The Whiteness of the Whale" is a badass chapter, stfu

>>6189056
>reading for words

>the only edition they have isn't the regular sized one but those pocket sized mini-book things

>>6189176
>only copy available has a film adaptation cover

>>6189131
here it is google translated

>a girl named jesus and a sun drenched land , long hair hiding the feet thick black velvet curtains near the ground , grotesque clown, however lovely as a large poster of Japanese advertising , as a rebellious daughter , a volcano invested dripping on heads and then nothing , silent laughter and sterile , a home made of photos still dripping patient, just to keep it flowing, to have something to do or a reason to live , shows that there is no longer dance anymore , her brothers spit and marginalize and admire and love and hate to control their sexes and pray in the basement , secretly far from inherent because god is only god when one is indoors and is a black homogeneous dream that holds together and crystallized

>>6189186
>that's pocket sized

>>6189084
yea name of the rose is one of them but i actually liked that because it was often used as misdirection by Eco

>New release of old classic
>Some asshole gets his name on the cover under the author because he wrote a shitty two page essay-intro nobody will read

>>6189084
V.

>book "keeps it simple" with punctuation and vocab

>book has no punctuation

>>6189210
>author releases an addendum that includes a sample of punctuation for the audience to "salt and pepper as they wish"
...............,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,??????!!!!..............................-----......,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,~~~~~~`````````````````:;;;:::;;:;;"""""""""""''''''''/////////

>intro written by dave eggers

> book has words.

fuck that, man. can't stand words

>>6189365
kek

>book doesn't have an intermission

>>6189466
>he doesn't type his ERP

>>6188409
Jesus Christ this is the fucking worst. Any author that does this doesn't really understand how literature works and how people interpret literature. I'm not saying they are necessarily bad overall, but there is a gap in their understanding of it.

>>6189273

>tfw you run out of commas

>>6189486
>Not using semicolons instead
Top pleb

>>6189514
>not dividing your semicolons into a period and comma instead for twice the punctuation

>>6188325
Post meme as fuck

>book written by Greek philosophers more than 2000 years ago
>introduction by the publisher expresses their views as misogynistic and begins to use a modern conception of moral to analyze an ancient text

>>6189486
>tfw you have to buy punctuation expansion pack.

>book needs an appendix for definitions of words its made up lnguage

>>6189583

If people are reading it in he year 2015 why can't we look at it like we are people from the year 2015?

>>6189583
>when anyone calls a patriarch, whos conduct is based on a faith that contains creator god(s), "misogynistic".

>no table of contents if it's broken into parts or has whole sections changing narrator

>tfw no whitespace or punctuation

>>6189685
>reading animorphs as a kid
>that one book about the alien who beamed his thoughts into people's minds without any spaces or punctuation
ihateditihonestlyjuststoppedreadingwhathewassayingandjustskimmedoverhislines

>>6188300
That man looks like Tim Heidecker. Every time I saw this image's thumbnail in other threads I thought it was actually him. It is now, when I looked at the picture closely, that I see a watermark there, but the man still looks a lot like Tim Heidecker.

>copy of the Communist Manifesto
>title written in horrible faux Cyrillic font
>massive red star across the front
Why

>>6188641
Ok I'm really not a fan of that

>book has a political message

>book opens with dialogue

>>6189174
>reading

>>6189756
>book opens with the main character waking up

>>6189756
>book opens with words at all

>>6189782
>opens with a description of the weather

>female protagonist

>young white cis male protagonist

>>6189789
>opens with a description of a sound coming across the sky

>>6189805
You don't know if the protag is cis until the end of the book. . .

I mean, anything can happen right?

>>6189805
>protagonist switches identities multiple times over the course of the novel, but refers to each as an individual character
This shit made me hate Psycho.

>>6189818
>makes main evil person in the story a lesbian until they were sexually assaulted, impregnated, and then they decided to be an abusive man for the rest of their life
>reveal all this in the last 25 pages

>Characters have various name and nicknames that are never clarified in the narrative

ie Doctor Zhivago

>>6189843
>self-identifying as a man to shift the blame
How convenient.
Mass-shooting victims really should start self-identifying as jews just to anger moslems.

>>6189855
what?

>>6189853
ie all russian lit

>>6189843
d-does this happen in a book?

>>6189853

Someone is unfamiliar with classic Russian literature.

I'm looking at you Dosto.

>>6189685
That is surprisingly easy to read.

>>6189273
>all these plebs don't know about Timothy Dexter

>>6188409

Is it common for people to take notes while they read so they can keep track of things?

>>6190071
Do you only read novellas?

>>6189189
it's beautiful.

>>6189863
the rest of it is so good :(

>>6188650
Laurie-shit gutter- Pennie is a fucking demon birthed from PC cancer and enchanted by the fumes of muslim semen and regression. David Starkey is the knight that keeps slaying her but he is old and tired now, if luck is with us she'll be a martyr for the PC brigade on the day of the rope.

>>6189614
>Mum didn't buy the upgraded Kindle with the DLC Punctuation pack for my Kindle, now all my books don't have any punctuation ;(

>protagonist is a female

>>6190147
>no spoilers

The book's okay, though. The ending after the reveal felt like an afterthought.

>book

> predictable plot twist

>>6190293
>plot twists in general
Are you reading genre fiction?

>book is good

>>6189583

>book written by contemporary Greek philosophers

>The book was made into a movie.
>The only edition you can find has the main character of the movie on the cover.

I'm looking at you I, Robot.

>>6190356
Implying Dogcopter isn't based

>>6190358
They took some liberties in the movie.

>book has footnotes
>the footnotes have footnotes
>footnotes go on for pages
>most of the book ends up being footnotes

>book contains words with the letter "e"

>>6188300
>Introduction, preface, annotations on the annotations, further reading, Actual bits of the further reading inserted into the the book, excerpts from the author's private letters, reviews from every century up from release to the current publication.
>All of these are several times longer than the actual text and make up the bulk of the book.

>the book has chapters of a completely made-up book inside one chapter of the book

>>6188300

>any book with a picture on the cover

>book has pages

>>6188439
>dreaming of a book that doesn't exist

>>6188363
please put a trigger warning before talking about infinite kek

>Write a book with music as main subject without being a top class musician.

>he doesn't like Proust

>>6190356
The Complete Robot has everything in I, Robot and more.

>>6188300

>it's in translation

>>6188581
>they didn't edit it out

>>6189620
Dune?

>>6189775
Writing

>>6190293
>Reading The Mysterious Island
>All tension is gone once you realize the mysterious stranger will save them at every turn.
Shit became too predictable.

sick shit guys, 197 posts on how the way that people (who are more well known and in general more successful than you) write books burns your ass. very nice.

>>6192524
shut up faggot

>OP shitposts because he doesn't actually read books

>>6192524
>book has parentheses

>>6192526
you're only angry because you know it's true, degenerate, prove me wrong

>>6192524
>Being a faggot

>he posts literature related posts on /lit/

>book uses cutesy taglines

>>6190377
>What is to be done: the Burning Questions of our Movement by N. "Footnotes" Lenin.

>>6188786
I take it your favorite book is the "Selfish Gene" then

>>6189095
>the year of the depend adult undergarment
>not worshipping dfw

>>6192524
kill urself my man

>book is written by a human being

>epic poem
>multipage fight scene
>20% of the fight scene is filled up with family lineages

>>6188300
>>6188306
>>6188309
>>6188311
>>6188325
Beautiful.

>When the writer is a genius, uses a lot of big words and only he understands the story completely

>massive infodumps in the first few pages

>>6189202
>influential and widely acclaimed novel
>recent edition, cover has "the novel that inspired nobody nemoson's 'shit book'" stamped on it, and again on the back
christ this pisses me off

>endorsements from the daily mail on the cover
>oprah's bookclub

>>6190394
rip based Perec

>>6195770
>implying he didn't get a haircut and change his name to elijah wood

>>6188358
>A Can't-read-this-shit Orange

>>6189273
>Beautiful. Avant-garde.

>>6189782
That's not bad

>>6195658
>only he understands the story completely
I kind of like doing this, probably wouldn't like reading it so much

>>6188360
>book tries to be meta by criticizing itself
>book tries to be more meta by pointing out that it's meta

>book has no chapters

>>6196161
Did someone say no chapters?

> Footnote is so long it goes on for pages
> different story develops in footnote
> Original story ends but footnote continues
> Finishing footnote requires purchase of sequel based entirely on footnote
> Said sequel has a really long footnote
> etc.
>

>Longest chapter in book is just a list of various interests and possessions the protagonist has

>>6188345
>entire chapter is a dream sequence

Sometimes I'm ok with this.

>>6189805
>cis male
>implying there is such a thing as a non-cis male

>>6189189
>>6190145

Would devour/10

>>6189867

Fucking this.

"I was speaking to Miyuskankin the other day...."

Back the fuck up you blonde whore.

>>6196260

This image was the most painful thing that's happened to my eyes in the last 24 hours, which includes using hot sauce as teardrops.

>>6196367
>using hot sauce as teardrops
ha ha!
What a funny mental image. You're a funny guy!

>>6196260
>the entire book is a dream sequence

>>6188847
I know that feel.

>>6189189
keep at it. But delete
>or a reason to live
It tips it over to the edgy side, which the rest balances nicely.

>>6188576
Top kek.

>>6188300
>reading before bed
>last chapter was pretty brief
>think to yourself there's time for one more chapter
>whoops, turns out this one is five times the length of the last

>>6196622
>not checking the length of the next chapter when your ayes are getting heavy.

>namedropping to the point that the multiple stories has nothing in common aside from the year in which it takes place.

>>6196641
>ayes
>it

shit