/lit/ - Literature

>tfw rereading undergraduate essays that professors jerked you off over and said revealed you as a future visionary scholar
>tfw they're fucking retarded and full of typos and incoherent retarded irrelevant bullshit
>tfw you waste an entire paragraph rambling about some shit that isn't relevant to your thesis, or even kind of contradicts it
>tfw realizing they were patronizing you and probably laughing behind your back

>enter local short story competition
>no prizes
>wrote a shitty comedy story about how atheists are stupid
>win the contest
>later find out that all the other entrants were children

would gladly do again

>>6005943
This

>make my first long work of fiction
>put deep emotion and lots of fancy prose into it
>put myself and my honest thoughts in it
>it gets a low rating
>no one tells me why
>no one ever comments
>friend of mine won't read it
>barley anyone ever read it

>>6006005
Fancy prose is tricky, breh. Not good to force it if you're starting out.

bump for cringe

>write first poem in foreign language
>it's completely satisfying since it expressed properly how I was feeling
>show it to a friend
>he says it's utter shit
>after that I stopped writing poems

>>6006500

dang your friend sounds kind of like a dick

>>6006500
well, it was just the opinion of one person anon

>Submit some writing to /v/'s own April Reader.
>Young and naive me thinks it will be cool to be published in an online magazine
>The issue finally comes out and I go to read the other entries
>maximumcringe.tiff
>All the other stories and poems are absolutely horrendous trash
>Many people in the reply thread say that my poem is the best thing April Reader has ever published
>Realize I am in an entirely different league than this shitty journal altogether
>Try my best to disassociate myself with the publiacation, hope sure no one I know ever reads it and recognizes my name
>For several issues afterwards, April Reader continually begs me for more poems and short stories to publish
>I eventually have to add them to my spam filter and try to forget any of it ever happened

I was so dumb back in those days

>>6006582
I've showed that same poem to other people, and they liked it, but they had like no knowledge whatsoever regarding poetry or writing in general. This friend of mine at least knew a few things about poetry. So I kind of felt awful for a while and gave up on it.

>>6006593
dear god

>>6005948
oh man

>get a gig interviewing former president of some shithole in south america for $200
>do my research and it turns out he's probably going to jail
>contact editor
>told to go ahead anyway and see what happens
>write piece
>feel guilty about whitewashing crimes
>receive published version
>it's been butchered
>even less mention of the fact that i interviewed a criminal
>six months later
>still waiting for my $200

>>6006593
>such is the life of a literati

>age of for teen
>short story contest
>first prize is published in anthology
>second prize is acknowledgement and a gift certificate for bookstore
>decide I'm going to win
>friend also decides to enter
>I write transcendent literature involving stories within stories, switching tense and viewpoint as we delve further into the past lives of the protagonist, showing the circularity of the human condition, almost like Cloud Atlas before it was even written.
>friend watches an episode of Star Trek and converts it to the modern day, whilst also changing the protagonist from female to male
>receive letter from contest
>can't believe mine eyes
>got second place, as well as a nice letter signed by one of the four judges telling me he thought it was the best entry.
>next day at school friend hands me his letter
>gushing praise from the other three judges about his inventive plot with thrilling twists and a satisfying conclusion
>he's getting published
>so disheartened I don't even spend my gift voucher

Since that day I've never shown another human being my writing, and I probably never will.

>>6006790
Good. It's probably shit. Hang yourself.

>Working my ass off to get published
>Writing shite
>Give it a year
>Writing slightly less smelly shite
>Give it another year
>Getting gud
>Almost sort of proud of this one novella I wrote
>Hey every short story has been slightly better than the last, may as well keep grinding, right?
>Write another short story
>Decide that to have any real chance of publication I'll need to submit to a non-snobby genre trash magazine
>Been writing literary though
>Total 200k words under my belt since I started writing
>Might as well try.
>Write odd fantasy story in literary style
>Send it to one relatively well-known online fantasy magazine, and figure why the hell not--
>Send it to a brand new Swedish literary magazine
>Wait 3 weeks
>Swedish lit mag emails me
>Congratulations--
>No
>Fucking
>Way
>3 weeks.
>Immediately get the fantasy online mag on the horn
>"S-sorry I must withdraw m-my submission--"
>Editors get pissy with me, they said no simultaneous
>I agreed, and simultaneous'd those fuckers anyway.
>Fuck that shit, like I have time to wait around for your 4-month timer
>Nigga I got bills to pay
>Realize that they got salty probably because they wanted to publish this thing too
>Oh well, fuck em, got a lit mag to pick it up
>Fuck genre proles
>High cotton
>I just got in on the ground floor of some sweet foreign literary project, bruh
>Swedes serialize my shit
>Appear in 3 issues over 3 months
>Feels good man
>Literally get compared to, and I quote:

Cormac McCarthy meets Stephen King's The Dark Tower

>In their editorial note on my story
>Decide that while they're full of shit, I guess mags have to pump up the shit they publish somehow, right?
>Literally 5 months later, the new Swedish lit mag goes under financially
>Turns out it was just one guy and a few of his professor friends' pet project
>Couldn't fund it anymore after like 08 issues
>Magazine is gone
>Website still up
>Just frozen in time basically
>MFW I should have let the genre fags publish me
>At least they're well-known and still fucking around
>MFWhenever anyone asks if I'm published
>MFW I haven't been published again, and it's been a year and a half.

Shoot me.

>>6006793
You'll never know, friend anon. You'll never know.

>>6006819
Did you get paid?

>>6006790
>>I write transcendent literature involving stories within stories, switching tense and viewpoint as we delve further into the past lives of the protagonist, showing the circularity of the human condition, almost like Cloud Atlas before it was even written.

No wonder it didn't get published

>>6006790
Can I have your gift certificate?

>>6006838

Yes, but it wasn't by the word. It was a super low standard payment. Like a flat-rate thing. I figured it was fine because the mag was brand new and they were trying to get on their feet.

Turns out they never found their feet.

>>6006825
not even that guy, but it is definitely shit judging by your green text, and not because of the quality of your writing here, because of the story you told about yourself speaking to your character. At best your writing must be very mediocre.

>>6006849
10 years too late, friendo.
>>6006843
>judging a story by its synopsis
Couldn't be more /lit/

>>6006866
>because of the story you told about yourself speaking to your character.
What are you even trying to say here? I'm relating an event that happened ten years ago in succinct memespeak.

>>6006869

I'm not either of those two guys but if your synopsis is that disgusting, you bet your ass we can judge the product by it.

How fresh could you possibly be?

>>6006889
I'm not that guy, but based on those twenty or so words, I actually think it sounds good and worthy of publication!
samefagging aint easy...

>enter essentially the only short story competition in my nation-state
>win first prize
>beating out 800 other people
>last year's first prize was a trip to Tokyo and a meeting with a Macmillan editor
>omg what's this year's prize gna be
>voucher for twenty books

...

at least they interviewed me and read my story on the radio

i posted part of my short story on this board in 2009. everyone was mean :(

>>6006880
>What are you even trying to say here? I'm relating an event that happened ten years ago in succinct memespeak.
exactly. the fact that you posted this only furthers my suppositions. I you ever want to be good, you need to get offline for the next ten years. I wrote more after this but i deleted it because it was too good of an idea to share. instead, the alternative: find an editor, pay them if you have to, and photograph them naked. You must not be ashamed of your body when you do this. Use your mouth to make sounds during the process until the editor laughs at you. Once he laughs, yell as loud as you can 'IS YOUR PEEN BIGGER? NO REALLY IS IT? IS IT? IS IT?' Print the photographs you took of the editor and keep them between your buttocks at all times once you put your clothes back on. Send an envelope filled with cheese cloth to all your family members and sign it with the editors name. Screen-cap this post and use your phone (do you have a smart phone? if not use any digital recorder) to record audio throughout this entire process. Then, print the screen-cap on a t -shirt, film yourself wearing it in a crowded public place while you hold your computer in your hands and stand as still as possible. Use only a single camera for this. In film speak, you are going to shoot a one-er. Your one-er should last until someone touches your penis (it can be on accident, but you cannot move until this happens). Later, take the audio recording of you naked taking pictures of an editor and stashing the prints in your buttocks and sending cheesecloth to your relatives- you know, the recording you made with your phone (you do have a phone, right?) and use that as the only sound source for the video you shot (the one-er). Then, in post-production, you must at a thought bubble over your head in the video. Inside this bubble, write your thoughts.

>write second draft of fantasy novel
>am decently proud of it
>never had anything published, not even a short story
>always, ALWAYS get rejected every time I try to submit anything
>take part in a pitch contest on Twitter
>get an agent's attention
>send her the first five pages
>a month later she asks for the first 50 pages
>holyshit.jpg
>a month and a half later she asks for the whole thing
>ohmyfuckinggod.png
>spend next few months totally hyped
>doubt starts creeping in
>"No, there's no way she'd ask for the whole thing and turn me down NOW, is there?"
>get turned down for the nebulous reason that "the characters weren't fully developed enough"

That fucking HURT for a while, /lit/. And it's STILL the closest I've ever come to getting ANYTHING published.

But in hindsight, I was just finishing up The Book of the New Sun at the time, and reading Gene Wolfe made me realize that I was actually a pretty shitty writer- or at least, a very ordinary one. Since then I've striven to be a better writer, aiming for constant modification and perfection of my craft. If that novel had gotten published I probably wouldn't be as good of a writer as I am today.

Still, though- ALMOST!

>>6007054
Are you overweight or chubby no offense jw

>>6007033
this is the only way. if you actually do this you will be a great writer. You will be a worthy footnote in annals of literary history.

>>6007066
Nah, I actually lift three times a week.

>>6006793
>>6006843
>>6006866
>>6007033

>>6007033
Typical nonsense post I've come to expect of this board lately. 2015 is the year lit dies and a bunch of homosexual faggots piss on its corpse.

>>6006819
>Cormac McCarthy meets Stephen King's The Dark Tower
cool, found you on reddit

>>6006819
>>6007153
>he's actually a redditor
Ew

>>6006819
This is why being a snob doesn't pay off you dumb faggot.

>go to respected (science- & engineering-focused) university
>study (Latin-American) literature
>Meet like-minded people, have long convos, drink, smoke, etc.
>second year, everyone wants to make a lit mag
>Everyone starts submitting their stuff anonymously, self-editing and criticizing each others' works.
>write a short story, about an awkward young (13) girl who gets invited to her friend's house after school to drink and smoke
>she slowly realizes friend has (lesbian) crush on her, but she doesn't know what to do or say
>romance, terror, mortality, angst ensues
>submit it for review
>"I don't get it", "what's going on?", "boring", "too complicated", "I didn't understand"
>remain as head editor
>get it published
>contributors were given special priority
>I'm considered "guest editor"
>I read, re-read, corrected and proofed everyone's works, sent it in to the publisher.

Eh, I'm still proud of what we did.

>>6007245
>>remain as head editor
>>get it published
>>contributors were given special priority
>>I'm considered "guest editor"
what does it even mean

>>6006790
>Thinks a story he wrote at the age of fourteen is any good

highly unlikely

>>6007245
>respected (science- & engineering-focused) university

what school?

>inb4 it's shit
>inb4 it's a science and engineering school and anon does arts

>>6006593
Always read the publication before submitting to it--you don't want your baby to be seated beside a pedophile neckbeard or post-modernist degenerate.

>Submit short to a magazine:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/13v4DypfwZqitwFz4T9XQ8KGyWtNX40ch0UKhXC19Kwc/edit?usp=sharing

>gets rejected in favor of:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14nBi1mdD9q_mVyGcPkLvb9MzLDLsBs6ZD__m209TMnU/edit?usp=sharing

>>6005943
they probably weren't laughing behind your back, professors just have to be enthusiastic about their students in order to stay sane

>>6006593
Which was yours?

>>6007282

you pasted the same link twice

>>6007302
Because I actually won. It's a joke.

So /lit/, I found this..

>>6007302

Why would you think that?

They are both absolute shit.

>>6007302
Oh, I get it, because they're both equally bad. Yeah, I think you're right actually. Sorry

>>6007321
post excerpt pls

>>6007263
I remained head editor, but my story didn't get published in the anthology, so everyone else was considered co-editors while I was guest editor.

>>6007321
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vIt5tfmLPY

>Writing a novel
>Unsure about some ideas so ask people about them
>People automatically reject everything you say and tell you what they would do to objectively make it better
>All of their suggestions are outlandish
>All of their suggestions are different
>All of their suggestions miss the spirit of what you're trying to do
>They all take offense when you tell them lolno

Fuck this

>>6007361

At least his sister is cute.

>>6007321
>>6007354
>>6007361
I had to blow off the dust, it's been awhile since I've seen this gem.
>When Earth was ingulfed by the sun in A.D. 3200, humans moved to the planet Zoran were we Zoranians still live, but as slaves.
>I wish that we were free.
>A war started in flax near the country of New America, by a human named Zelth
My lord, I stole flax from Runescape..
>When I was writing one morning I got a letter stating that I had a chance to jion the millitary if I became a schooler (student) in the army reservation school.
>Witch was very unusual for a zoranian.
Not sure why my teacher decided to spell check witch but not all the other obvious mistakes.
>The next morning I wrote "I do not wish to go to the army"
>They replied in saying "By order if not reservated you will be crusifyde."
>I guess that ment I had to go.
m-more?

The amount of people spouting "genre fags" itt is making me so happy that you all failed

>>6007396
>m-more?
No.

>can't write anything
>emotionally empty
>when i do feel, it's sad
>not enough time in the day to write bullshit journalism and creative stuff even if I had the energy
>i'm going to die poor and miserable

>>6007020

Was this board up in 2009? Has it really been that long?

>>6006509
>he doesn't want honest feedback
pussy

>>6006614
>This friend of mine at least knew a few things about poetry.

hint, such persons are often heavy opinionated

>>6007408

2010. Anton's full of shit

>post something to 4chan
>grammatical error
>forever archived

>write something for contest
>think it's good
>think I'm going to win
>don't

>some nobodies are trying to make an online short story magazine
>they have trouble getting material and what they put in is shit
>think the idea is good and want to help them out
>write a short supernatural thriller with a simple twist in the end
>I like to be ambiguous with my stories, but this time I went out of my way to explain the trick in detail, so that even a monkey could understand it
>wonder if they're going to get mad and accuse me of treating the reader like an idiot
>submit anyway
>a few days later get a reply
>the manuscript was rejected
>guy says the reason was that the main character "didn't have a goal"
>he thought the villain was the main character
>he missed the whole ending and the twist
>he couldn't be arsed to even finish reading a short story of barely 20k words
>my face

>>6007424
hint: everyone is more heavily opinionated than you think

>9th grade
>Short story lesson of English class
>assigned to write a short story
>has to be 3 pages max, MLA and all that, and show character development and all that
>Bullshit.
>wait 2 weeks
>do it in the library before class
>Crap out a dystopian short story- it didn't even have enough content to be considered plot development. I don't know how I was supposed to do it in 3 pages or less
>Get praised to death
>Modest me is like "Oh... really?"
>Teacher says my writing was the best, most complex, mature, and eloquent in the class.
And that's how I started writing.

Oh, here's another one
>9th grade again
>Same class
>Poetry lesson
>Have to make a shit ton of poems and compile them into a personal writing portfolio
>half-ass a third of them
>Take half the lyrics of one unpopular trance song no one else could possibly know
>Everyone goes crazy
>Makes me go to a local poetry slam
>Makes me read it aloud
>get applauded like cray
>deep inside, I know I could've probably put in effort and made a better poem but I couldn't be bothered
>And there I was, knee deep in my own bullshit, and I had to smile about it like I'm proud of my own work

>complete first "serious short story"
>prepare the manuscript for submission
>flip out and bend over backwards and painstakingly make sure my submission is correct and the e-mail is correct and won't get autorejected
>deep breath
>send the e-mail
>forgot that i forgot to attach the file with the manuscript in it

>>6010225
arghhhhhhh

i'm sorry anon

>>6010225

if you weren't autistic you would have just sent a follow up email saying "my bad forgot to attach" and no-one would have cared

>>6010257
this

>>6010257
double this

Just kill yourself anon

>>6010230
you too, faggot

>>6007407
You honestly hoped literature would get you rich and happy ?

>>6007145
your post is much more nonsense than my post. Anyone with a modicum of imagination could preform the recommended actions hypothetically to stimulate creative writing. If you accept absurdism ( which you should if you are at all intelligent) then you ought to at the least see value in a post like my previous one, and if you are intelligent (you accepted absurdism, right? Did you actually understand it?) then you should find the post in question more valuable than the ultimately trivial 'intellectual' discourses that you bemoan the extinction of on this board. Furthermore, I deny the assertion that my nonsense is typical , and I challenge you to demonstrate the supposed abundance of posts that offer nonsense this refined, not because I wish to prove you wrong (you are not intelligent), but because I would consume the nourishment that you pigheadedly reject in favor of bland cummy shitposts such as your own.

>>6007479
fucking this. i entered a playwright contest when I was in high school and I was sure I would place at least top 3. I let my english teacher read it because she had a phd in lit and she loved it.

my scipt was sent back two months later with tons of praise from the judges and on the final page was the comment "best script we received, but we're unable to give you the prize because the play is too controversial."
it was about a man who makes up his own religion.
i was very bitter to say the least.

unrelated high school writing feels
>write shitty free verse poems
>submit to local magazines
>get published in a few
>read the poems now and experience neckbreaking cringe

I was smart enough to use a pseudonym as a teen though because I figured I'd look back and cringe.

>>6006500
>tfw writing in second language feels like you can express yourself better.
>native speaking friends say it barely makes sense.
>"What are you trying to say anon? I sort of get it, but nobody would ever say this."

>>6007288
Sometimes I hate how encouraging my professors can be. I'll write something that seems neat, but it has some serious flaws. After going over it again a month or two after turning it in, I am able to point out all of the flaws in whatever I'm arguing. They just keep encouraging me, saying that whatever I said the first time was pretty cool. It's pretty disheartening. I want someone to shit all over my work on a regular basis, but in like an endearing way. You don't have to compliment everything someone does to support them.

>>6010655
I know what you mean. It makes me feel like I'm not even worth a spit in the face.

>>6010330
it's the one thing that i have even a mild passion for, now i'm realising i'm hopelessly delusional and have no real world skills

>>6010585

>he doesn't write in his first language

this is the real funny

>>6010585

I do this.

>>6010762
Well, when when basically everything you read is in english, you get adjusted.

>>6010655
>I want someone to shit all over my work on a regular basis
It's not as great and motivating as you'd think.

>Spring of 2013
>State College up in the wilds of New England
>Transfer student in his junior year
>Takes up an overnight job cleaning up his classmates' vomit and excrement on the weekends
>Just trying to pay the bills
>Taking a Studies in Contemporary Poetry course
>Teacher is shadow head of the English department
>On paper she's just senior faculty, but behind that her word is law
>Cuts every student to shreds
>For
>Every
>Little
>Thing
>No one can escape her criticisms
>Can't stay awake in class, but trying to keep up with the work
>Turn in all the major essays
>She calls me in to discuss my final essay
>Says "I read this and I gave you a D- because you just don't get what the poet is saying. I read it again and bumped you to a C- because I felt guilty"
>Fuck you lady
>She makes me carry her shit to her car
>Starts talking about what I need to do with my life
>Tells me to stop cleaning up vomit on the weekends and get serious about school
>tfw I blow off her advice and run away to Los Angeles
>I'm back East now

this is both a shit writing experience and the greatest writing experience

>8th grade homework assignment
>fuck school, i'mma blow this off an play nintendoes
>write something down just so I have something to hand in
>in class the next day
>alright, everyone! take out your homework. Today we'll be reading our assignments out loud!
>the gravity of the situation doesn't even register with me
>my turn to read this shit out
>start reading with intent - gotta impress the ladies
>page is complete fucking nonsense
>I can't stop laughing because I set myself up

In my defense, I am an amnesiac and to this day I still set myself up with horrifying and embarrassing results.

>>6005948
>This

>meet a friend from /lit/
>take him to my local bookshop
>"I hope they have Infinite Jest and Norwegian Wood and Bukowski"
>Infinite Jest, Norwegian Wood and Burroughs are next to the point of purchase for convenience
>he sees this and commits sudoku
>I have to buy all of the books he got his blood on
>now I own a Bukowski novel
>feel enough shame to commit sudoku myself

>>6011080
She sounds cool

>>6007357
>editor

>>6011184
Yeah, she was. I know that now. She had every right to fail me, but took pity because I was struggling to keep up with coursework while working full time to pay rent.
Though I got a C in the course my proudest moment was when she said to me in one of our many conferences
>You seem like you know how to write, but [some vaguely deprecating remark that I can't remember]

Another story about that course:
>Every essay had to be reviewed by two coursemates
>On the final essay this drama-major dude and adderall addicted girl review my work
>Guy says it's decent, but there are issues with syntax
>Fair enough, I wrote the 12 pages in less than five hours
>Girl says it's a "Wonderful paper, and maybe the best thing she's read in the course"
>Okaybullshitbutokay
>Get my paper back from the professor
>She elaborated on the dude's comment, but essentially said there were a lot more problems
>She crossed out the girl's comment with a huge X
Definitely my favorite teacher of all time.

>>6010257
>>6010279
i did send a 2nd email

i don't leave that in the story because it's funnier without.

>>6010206
Holy shit, that's disturbingly similar to an experience of mine.
Was this in the central Florida area?

>Planning stages for a fantasy novel
>Want to make a sect of warrior monks from the eastern regions who use body in harmony with the mind to utilize magic
>"Wow anon that's really kind of racist, way to stereotype Asians why dont you have them all be good in math and shit too?"

To this day I dont even know what to make of comments like this

>>6012213
But that's a reasonable criticism.
>But I'm afraid to think outside of cliches and stereotypes

>>6005930
>wrote a short story in 7th grade about God destroying the earth because people weren't worshiping him anymore
Still can't forgive myself or forget about the incident.

>>6012241

I wasn't aware things could be stereotypical based purely on geographical location but ok. If only I had moved them to the west relative to everything else!

>Projecting through maymay arrows

>tfw wrote a thing
>thought it was good, was proud of it
>later saw it was bad
welp, time to kill myself again

>>6012241
>reasonable criticism.

Yeah, if you live in a post-modern utopia. Most of us live in the real world.

>>6012290
this feel, all the time

>>6011232
you should have tried to shag her

>>6006005
Care to post it here or in pastebin? Any critique will be constructive and encouraging

>>6006790
Heard this bullshit story a thousand times in high school English classes. Get creative with your memes.

>>6006005
>>put myself and my honest thoughts in it
as if it's something special. you put a part of yourself in a pan every time when you visit a bathroom and you tell your honest thoughts every time when you don't lie

>I wanted to try and write some short story
>found a site where everyone posts his works and get criticized
>good community maybe not so open to new guys
>they read my 6/10 first short story (in a while) and help me with critics. They seems to recognise some ability.
>publish another one, is way better and critics seems to like it
>after less than a month I am on the site I publish the first part of the last one
>new concept, well written tear jerking sci fi about an Ostrich in a far planet.
>totally proud of my work
>0 comment
>after a week I receive an e-mail
>"Hey anon, I'm the admin, this adventure of publishing short stories is coming to an end, I am shutting down the site. But someday I want to start a new project!"
>one year has passed
>nothing

I am happy I knew someone who works in the industry, maybe someday I will publish my novel.

>>6012834

The tripfags are getting deep.

>College English composition class
>2 semesters ago
>Professor asks us to write about a topic of our choice, and to use and credit sources used to back up our stand on the topic
>Wrote about cultural indoctrination and many of its negative effects
>Skimmed many of my sources
>Came across as fedora-tier and misinformed
>She gave me a C+ because it I handed it in late
>It's been a year now and I've matured in terms of what read/have read, same goes for how I write
>Still hate myself for writing that essay
>Want to apologize for even making her read it for some odd reason
>Saw her in one of the school's elevators last month, she greeted me smiling, I tried to smile back but couldn't. I couldn't even make eye contact

>>6013012
i dislike pretentious 'sincerity'

>>6007004
Which nation state is that?

>>6013043

>I dislike
>Implying anyone gives a shit

Tripfags. Anything for attention.

>>6013041
Don't be so narcissistic. Even if you don't have an anonymised system for marking, she would have read literally hundreds of essays since then. She does not remember or care about about some essay some guy wrote last year.

>>6013162
Honestly, I just feel embarrassed for writing the way that I did as well as the way I carried myself. You're right though, thinking of the situation in this way (>>6013041) is pretty narcissistic.

>>6013162

Speaking as a former university lecture, I can assure you that as she was smiling at you she was thinking "looks like he may be a former student, better smile", but she almost certainly couldn't even remember your name, let alone your essay.

>>6005930
I didn't really think there were any contests out there, but it turns out there are loads. So I just entered one with a shitty off the top of my head poem, so, go me.

>>6007321
Fuck you, Zoran doesn't look like that. That's clearly Io.

>>6012698
Funny enough she told me that instead of going to Los Angeles I needed to stay on campus and find a professor to work with.
Told her housing was too expensive, to which she replied I'd need to find someone with a room for rent at their house.
>She is a widow (pretty sure)
>Lives alone in an old house somewhere near campus
>Probably has a room for rent
Only thing was she was easily in her 60s, but you could tell she was one of those health nuts left over from the 60s or 70s, so she didn't look too bad. I should have shagged her.

>>6006819
>Cormac McCarthy meets Stephen King's The Dark Tower
well, CinemaDrAJ, you should have fucking known.

I'm about to win.

>write wierdass poem
>next night
>drinking with boyfriend and friends
>bf says he wants to read me something
>reads my shitty poem out loud to everyone, holding it above my head
>laughs at me

>>6005943
no kids are retards. you were probably less retarded and so they encouraged you.

>write really in-depth fantasy religion, magic and world
>friends read it
>inform me it is literally Avatar: The Last Airbender
which I have never seen

>>6014633
http://www.reddit.com/r/writingcirclejerk/comments/21g7zi/found_a_beautiful_old_inkque_sketch_i_did_when_i/

Wow.

>>6012213
ah yes the stereotype that Asians are good at magic.

how dare you

>>6014649
This is why you don't show your work to significant others.

>>6012213
>>Want to make a sect of warrior monks from the eastern regions who use body in harmony with the mind to utilize magic
so you ripped off Avatar: The Last Airbender?

>>6007361
>a book about dragons

>>6005930
>spend four months pouring my heart into a poetry collection
>post it on here anonymously to get shit on
>people actually seem to like it
>start looking around for places to submit it so maybe my liberal arts education won't have been wasted
>maybe things aren't so b--
>people find out my name
>reddit gets their hands on it
>become a meme author
>retire from poetry forever
>hate myself even more
>thousands of dollars in debt and nothing to show for it
Well, it was fun while it lasted.

>>6014733
Own the meme notepad-guy

Tao Lin wrote here and now he's being reviewed by German newspapers

>>6005930
>short stories competition made by all colleges in your 'state'
>one night before due date, nothing written down
>pop .4g dank-ass molly
>lay on my bed listening to Vivaldi's Stabat Mater
>start crying and write a short story about being rolling face so much you cannot interact with people and for first time experience the void of the lives of those who are truly alone, filled with archaisms and middle French syntax (written in french)
>win 500 bucks from it
>spend it all on partying

twas good

>>6014741
Look what they did.
http://imgur.com/w5t33bC

>>6010758
Having a passion is having more than most people imho. And any skill can be learned.
So keep working on it.

>>6014750
>http://imgur.com/w5t33bC
That's seriously your own fault, dude. Take solace in the fact that a week from now Reddit and Imgur won't remember.

>>6014750

>mfw I actually quite enjoyed some of those poems.

Honestly, I've read worse in magazines. Shitty hipster magazines bought by/run by my shitty hipster friends, but still magazines.

pic related is pretty shitty, but the concept is good. someone would probably print it so I'm going to steal it.

>>6014918
Yeah, you're right, I was half-joking. At least I got to make you guys happy, you know? It's always a nice feeling.

>>6014948
The poems themselves or the concept? If it's the poems, please don't, dude. If it's the concept, I it's nothing new so knock yourself out.

>>6014948
>stealing from homeless people
what are you, a franciscan?

>>6014969

No, I'm having the poem. You can't stop me.

>>6015087

He's not homeless, he's typing.

>>6015093
That's a real dick move.

>>6015093
the original thread with link to the poems is archived.

his poems are decent but not worth stealing. if you want to be caught at plagiarism we can't stop you from fucking yourself over.

>wrote something
>read it the day after
>realize it's shit
>rewrite
>repeat
>mfw it never ends

>>6015122
>if you want to be caught at plagiarism

>Implying I wouldn't say Baldyga was me anyway.
>implying anyone can disprove that I am the original author.

That's what happens when you're an anonymous pussy. And no, you can't stop me.

>>6015148
>spread the gospel of baldyga
>he does it for free
go for it dude

>>6015148
top kek. we know his name and its in the thread

> in highschool
> english teacher fucking loves me
> never shuts up about how brilliant my writing is
> get consistent full marks
> rest of the class hates me because consistent full marks
> haters gonna hate, give nary a single shit
> teacher encourages me to apply for prestigious creative writing program at uni
> get in
> holy shit I am made for life
> One day I manage to piss teacher off in class
> Badmouthed 'oranges are not the only fruit'.
> Get home
> Parents sit me down.
> Turns out teacher called them at lunchtime to tell my parents that I was a spoilt little shit who thought too highly of herself and would never make it in the literary world.
> already accepted onto prestigious course
> no backsies
> confused and terrified about my career choice

I got her back though.

> last day of term
> present asshole teacher with large box of chocolates.
> 'thank you for being so encouraging'.
> big smile
> she bursts out into guilty tears, embarrasses herself in front of whole class.
> give other teachers bigger boxes of chocolates for not being cunts.

>>6015277
Lol women

>>6005930
Baldyga's heritage being spread on /lit/ makes me happy

Some of it was pretty sloppy or you'd say - to the least - cliche, but overally nice

>>6014733

>prefer to be thousands in depth over accepting that reddit likes you

Yeah, I hope you become homeless and suffer for being such an egotistical fag.

>>6014750
I found this enjoyable, does this make me a pleb?

>>6015308
I was joking. Calm down, RIDF.

>>6014733
>>6014750

>go on about how you're poor because of shitty career choices, how you published 'shit' material that it's actually 'well' received even though it is ppretentious shit
>put your name twice in there
>act all sad and shit about it gaining popularity

Shit, you could even TRY to be more subtle about trying to win your 15 minutes of fame, you know?

>>6015384

Also,
>samefagging some retard who wants to steal your shit writing, acts totally retarded and unnatural about it
>magically, a couple of people rush to your defence
>every single poster makes sure to use your last name at least once

Please stop this. There's better ways to get recognition than samefagging on 4chan, it's painful to watch. You must really think that someone would fall for it.

>>6015384
I was joking about the Reddit thing, look at where we are.

I'm happy that lots of people are enjoying my poetry. Who wouldn't be, in my situation?

I put my name in there because a) people found out my name so why bother remaining anonymous and b) people are threatening to lift my poems, which I've become kind of protective of. I call them shit endearingly but also because I don't want people to think I'm some cocky asshole because I'm really not, and I don't want to come off that way.

Why do you think they're pretentious? There is a poem of which 95% is solely the word fuck that I actually typed out that many times. There is a poem about Arizona tea. How do these come off as pretentious to you?

In any case, I hope we can still be friends.

>>6015395
Are you the same guy from the first thread who genuinely believed I stayed up for 24 hours refreshing my router every post and complimenting myself?

>>6014673
Write it anyway, anon. You know Oreos are a knockoff product? Look how popular they are.

>>6014733
Your poems sound like they came straight out of my journal when I was 16 and depressed. How can pour your heart into it? Takes balls to show that off. I still have my journal and I would never show it to anybody. Your shitty attitude pours over into your writing and it shows just how little you care about writing well, so maybe work on that instead of becoming a fucking meme.

TLDR: You have balls. You are very sad because you want to be. Your writing is shit because you want it to be. And you probably jack off too much. Bitch.

>>6015593
Maybe I'm more open than you are, anon. You don't like my poems, sorry to hear that, but you're dead wrong about me not being serious about writing.

>wrote a story for my uni's writing catalog
>it's pretty tough to get into
>write a story for a while, put a lot of heart into it
>first piece of independent writing I feel good about
>ask my professor to critique it
>he gives me good advice and tells me he likes it
>submit it
>denied
>professor tells me not to get me down
>reread it recently
>it's pretty flat with some okay sentences
>tries way too hard to be sentimental

now Im just embarrassed by the entire thing

>>6015277
>giving professors chocolate
Man, you really sucked dick for those grades huh?

>write essay on "biggest challenge of the future" for rich kids' university magazine
>write about modern slavery; wage slavery, child slavery, that chinese girl who made my t-shirt so I can pay less, basically the rich west exploiting the poor rest of the world, and how hard it is to fix that without changing the entire system
>girl who wrote about world hunger wins
>guess I expected that

>>6013043
I dislike kitty

>>6015277
>I was a spoilt little shit who thought too highly of herself
Lol women are spoilt little shits.

>>6015453
>I stayed up for 24 hours refreshing my router every post and complimenting myself