/lit/ - Literature

And i'm sure its all %100 QUALITY

>>5837285

According to the internet, that would make your novel approximately 447,392,425 words long, or 2,250,000 pages.

I look forward to the release of this masterpiece of titanic autism.

>>5837307
sounds like that smash bros fanfiction or something

>>5837285
Be honest. It's like 90% pictures isn't it?

>>5837302
>>5837307
>>5837310
I guess success really does breed jealously

>>5837317

I was supporting you bro...

hating on your number 1 fan... #notcool ;(

tell us more ...

>>5837285

O' please post an excerpt, op

>>5837320
It chronicles a man's family tree from his birth and death up too the end of the family tree one hundred year's later

>>5837285
windows .docx format makes everything 50,000x the size of plain text. this is with no formatting.

>>5837337
I use Microsoft Word

>2.5 gigs
Are you retarded or something? How did that happen?

Share with us the opening chapter, OP. Come on. We want to read it.

The fuck you do?

I have an 80 000 word novel here in front of me that's 312kb in docx format.

>>5837340
.docx is the microsoft word format

>>5837352
>The fuck you do?
I became an auteur of the literary realm

>>5837285
what files are you using? it must be like a million pages in docx.

>>5837324
For the time being I'm only sharing my work with prospective publisher

>>5837367
>prospective publisher

How much are you paying them to print it?

>>5837373
>that pic
I'm absolutely losing it here. Fucking Dre, man.

>>5837363
OP wrote his novel in a notebook and the file size refers to the size of the video file of him slowly flipping through it he sent to Simon & Schuster

>>5837377
kekking hard

>>5837377
KEK

>>5837376

>>5837406
>Dre what's them on the caddy 24's?

Can anyone translate?

>>5837406
Can we read more of this novel?

>>5837425
Caddy - type of car
24's - size of rim

>>5837425
>Dre, what size are the rims on your Cadillac? 24'?

>>5837425
Do the rims on the wheels of your Cadillac car have a diameter of 24"?

>>5837373
Source on this tome I wanna read this

>>5837406

i will pay for this

http://books.google.com/books?id=bVJLPKjTUkIC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

>>5837285
>2.5 Gb

Literally how. I mean, did you write it on a notebook and that word file contains all high def scans of the pages? Did you put lots of images in it? I'm confused.

>>5837406

Christ it's like Ulysses

>>5837444
TOP KEK

>mfw niggers actually talk like this

>>5837435
>>5837432
>>5837431
Oh, okay. Thanks.

>>5837444
This is a masterpiece.

>>5837444

this is literally the book's opening paragraph:

>In the beginning of the book Dre is at the rim shop picking out some rims. And as soon as he picks out the rims and tires he wants he gets them balanced & rotated & simotaneously his phone rings as he pull's out the rim shop.

>>5837444
I'm 12 pages in, when does it get good? All Dre has done is deal drugs and get his car washed. How long is this?

>>5837464

and then what follows is the world's most inert phone dialog scene

>Dre: Hello
>Tone: What's up Dre what you about you do
>Dre: Shit I just came from the rim shop. I just threw twenty sixes on the caddy
>Tone: Damn nigga you just hit a liq or som'thin one day you on hubb caps the next day u on twenty sixes
>Dre: It's nuthn man you know....I gotta stay focused
>Tone: All da time
>Dre: Aye Tone
>Tone: What's up
>Dre: I'm about to let this phone charge and ima call you back

end scene

>>5837467
It's only 67 pages.

And still the promised sequel hasn't appeared.

>>5837481
there's always fanfiction to complete the saga

>>5837481
Can someone give me the pdf of this I wanna read it.

>>5837475

There's clearly hostile subtext between Dre and Tone. Tone is the one calling Dre, specifically to check up on his activities and whereabouts.

>>Tone: Damn nigga you just hit a liq or som'thin one day you on hubb caps the next day u on twenty sixes

The dangerous undertone to Tone's statement is obvious, as he darkly comments on the sudden meteoric rise of Dre's wealth, as displayed by the new 26" rims he's just installed on his cadillac. Dre immediately downplays his recent windfall, saying it's merely "nuthn", then after a pregnant pause simply says that he has to remain focused - presumably against the incursions of prospective rival drug dealers, such as Tone himself.

Under the guise of friendship, Tone darkly echoes Dre's fears with a threatening "All da time" in response.

Disturbed by the exchange - or, perhaps disgusted by Tone's nonchalant passive-aggression - Dre immediately makes up the excuse that his phone requires charging, and hangs up.

>From Nickels 2 Ounces: Slayin' Em

>Dre & Anton go over to Don Delio's house. It was a long ride so they roll two swishers along the ride. By the time the blunt finishes they were infront of the house, but before he could leave his car Don Delio's goon asked him a question
>Goon: ayyo what bidness you got in here?
>Dre: Nuthing foo, Im look for Don Delio I got something for him
>Goon: Oh you got something for him? Yo! This foo tryna whack the don!
>dre calls his boy on his cellphone as a gang of latino's exit the house. simoltaneiously, he is pulling out his gloc from the glove compartment while Anton pulls his gun out
>Dre: Yo RayJ its about to pop off here, Delio's goons are about to make it rain ova here
>RayJ: Yo cuh, they stupid cuh. they dumb stupid, cuhh. Im about to send the whole block ova there. Keep it 100 cuh
>Dre: you already know
>Dre hangs up the phone and he starts firing shots outside his car window.
>Dre: Dont fuck with us !

>>5837484
That fucking transition, that use of dialogue, the implied sexual tension! Genius

>>5837513
>simoltaneiously

Confirmed for actual canon material by Deandre himself.

>>5837521

Yes, I too found the parking sequence to be incredibly erotic. The "dunk" as a metaphor for orgasm was also brilliant

>>5837506
Holy shit. This seems right.

>>5837559
It's like a novelization of The Wire.

>not understanding the genius of the writer
>not realizing the subtle self-importance of Dre

I can´t read this. I don´t understand what Dre is saying. This book is too much for me.

>>5837643
>rolling up a couple of blunts since you're "driving for a minute"
"Dre" confirmed for actually being Snoop Dogg

>>5837325
that already exists nigga and it's quite famous

or is that the joke

>>5837513

oh shit guest cameo by don delillo himself. who would have thought

>>5837657

confirmed for cracker ass cracker

Is this the ghetto epic we've all been waiting for?

>>5837464
>In the beginning of the book
MAXIMUM META

High-brow literature general?

>>5837768
I think there's a movie based on that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5iue0Wi3gY

http://pastebin.com/0UguCzQC

>>5837285
My novel is 743 pages long and it's a mere 4 Mb Word Document.

How THE FUCK did you get to 2.5 Gigabyte??

>>5837352
Mine is about 90k and it's only 210k in .doc.

3.5 gb is the work of an insane person.

>>5837373
I want - no, demand - to know the price!

>>5837431
>>5837432
>>5837435
So many niggers in here...

>>5837464
>>5837467
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? YOU HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF PAGES YOU CAN READ IN YOUR LIFETIME AND YOU'RE WASTING SOME OF THEM FOR THIS NIGGER DIARRHEA??

>>5837285
>just finished the first chapter of my Adventure Time erotic fanfic
>twelve terabytes, mostly describing marselline's nipples.
>feels good man

>>5837373

>moves big dopes

now this is podracing.jpg

>>5837823
76,745 here and 2.1MB... .pages file too
I think OP is fucking with us

>>5837373
>>5837406
>>5837454
>>5837484
>>5837643


Otis Surrell, Deandre.

Incisive prose. Exposes plight of common man. A philosophical heavyweight. Joyce would be taking notes. Flaubert's flimsy prose fails against Otis.

>>5837444
I am reading the out of this today.

A thought; how racist is this book if it turns out a white guy wrote it for a joke?

>>5837831
>being this much of a pleb
I want /pol/ to leave.

>>5837852
White trash also talk like that.

>>5837844
Ok, who was this! I can't get their voices out my head
>Could the author please read a book to learn structure, and learn to use the spell check button.
The only way to enjoy this book is to give each of the characters ridiculous voices. I made Ken a Cockney. Dre had an effeminate voice

>just finished my novel a couple of hours ago
>check it's filesize
>100 TB

>>5837669
Yo what book, sounds interesting

>>5837451
Currently reading Ulysses, I can't understand either so yeah pretty much the same.

>not writing first drafts by hand

>>5837932
a song of ice and fire

>>5837285
Is it 100,000 pages plus illustrations?

>>5837932
Cien Años de Soledad (100 Years of Solitude)

>>5837932
100 Years of Autism

Great book

>>5838090
I paint pictures with my words

>>5837828
Get the fuck back to /po-

Oh wait, that's right.

Uh...

/b/ maybe?

>>5837834
10/10 would read

>>5837467
>>5837444
Someone betrays Dre and gets glocked. He also has some run ins with the police but out smarts them

fag

>>5837643
Its a modern day Odyssey. Dre is blessed by the god of cannabis and that makes people like at him with awe and wonder

>>5838395
They are literally the same board.

>>5837828
Still buttmad, /pol/? lel cucks

>>5837877
That's Popvsky or whatever.

>>5837823
A rough calculation would show that he has written 1,500,000,000 words, which is approximately 4,300,000 pages. It must be some masterpiece.

>>5838831
David Foster Wallace has returned from the grave.

>>5837285
Can you share some of the pictures of your storybook?

bro you probably just accidentally check the size of your hentai directory by mistake

>>5838104
Åja, den har jeg jo faktisk hort om, takker. (Oh, I've actually heard of that, thanks.)

>>5838319
this had me in tears, thank you anon

>>5837475
>>Dre: Shit I just came from the rim shop. I just threw twenty sixes on the caddy
>Dre: Shit I just came from the rim *job. I just threw twenty sixes on the caddy

>>Dre: It's nuthn man you know....I gotta stay focused
>Dre: It's *nutting man you know....I gotta stay focused

Isn't this obvious to you?

>>5837285
I wish more Authors would make their Novels Audiobooks first and then Print. I applaud your effort to change the norm OP.

>2 million pages is a lot
I thought I was on /lit/ not /v/

>>5840005
go back to /pol/

>>5840349
go back to /po/?

OP post the first part of your story

Did you type it on photoshop and save as uncompressed bitmap?

>>5837844
please no, corn father

>>5837826
From Nickels to Ounces
by Deandre Otis Surrell
Why did I waste my time searching the ISBN no.?
On Amazon: 13$ when new.

>>5837444
I can dig it

>>5837435
You are mistaken sir, they actually have a diameter of 26".

>>5840907
Just purchased.

I literally can not wait

I can't believe so many people were trolled into thinking the OP actually wrote something.

>>5837352
>>5837823
>>5837843
guys, any clue how many would that be in words?
my novel is going to be of a similar size I think

>>5837285
320 MB is pretty impressive OP

Error message opening a document in Word "Word cannot open this file because it is larger than 512 Megabytes"

http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2599449

This is the maximum file size Word can open.

OP, you old rusemeister

>>5839203
åååh fuck

>>5837373
>68 pages

>>5842696
Yeah, because Word is the ONLY program he could have written it in.

>nobody realizing that OP took screenshots of every page of his novel separaly and then combined them into a .bmp file

>>5843010
No, I've got a better one. He literally wrote the novel in MSPaint.

>>5842696
FrameMaker can handle documents of >2.5GB no problem

incidentally there is no such thing as "gb"

>>5837373
read a good review here
http://www.amazon.com/From-Nickels-Ounces-Deandre-Surrell/dp/1462893031

>>5843573
>Never before have I seen an author so bold as to entirely mask their identity and so capable of sliding into the patois of the streets - going so far as to write the ENTIRE BOOK in the thug lingo.
Now that's just bezoomny.

>>5842584
anyone?

>>5843632
>>5842584
and yes, I meant pages obviously.

>>5837307
>I look forward to the release of this masterpiece of titanic autism.
oh boy... laughed too hard at this.

>>5837506
>Tone darkly echoes Dre's fears with a threatening "All da time" in response.

10/10 sides in orbit

>>5841373
I find that to be an admirable trait in a man.

>>5842484
Take pic and post results, when you get it.

>>5837484
>Dre is amazed by a dunk.

>>5837451
nay, better

>>5837484
>Ha ha Damn this like street NBA

lost it, too fucking good

>>5843640
google that shit

>>5843801
What a shitty reddit-quality post.

>>5842788
Quality not quantity, nerd. Go back to your Infinite Jest.

>>5845699
The thing is, Infinite Jest has as much quality as it has quantity, so it absolutely destroys this book.

>>5837285
You probably made this book ilustrated with hd pictures.

ulillillia's book file was this large but he optimized it to ensure 465 FPS when viewing the document at 300% zoom with a vertical pixel count of 1024 by reducing the width and pixel density of the font, which was Arial Narrow at MLA standard font size 12, by 2.5% and 6.9% respectively. Now the file comes in at a whipping 1.3MBs!

This is a size reduction of 10^(-23)!

>>5847780
Man, I can't believe people still remember that guy. So insane. And he's still out there, being insane. Your post sums it up well.