/lit/ - Literature

>>5713424
Fuck m8 that's pure gold, you don't even need to edit that.

>>5713424
>hornily
haha good stuff op

>>5713424
>so Im not sure if I do it as a joke or if I'm an actual retard.
I love you anon, keep on trolling yourself.

>>5713424
>using trite as a noun

>>5713424
get sexed, then get drunk, then write.

Here's the end of the story btw. I know you were just dying to know what happened.

>>5713479
I don't know why it gets filpped like that. It looks fine when I open them.

>>5713458
>until Jack Warner came out to admonish him
I feel I've been wasting my drunk time

>>5713499
>tight like the diplomatic relations between Armenians and Turks.
I fucking lost it. I mean this with the greatest love: become an alcoholic.

Here's one that just has very short excerpts.

I took a mild psychedelic and tried writing. I thought, well, it should be original if nothing else. Instead, I reasoned quite frankly why women and all civilization (women are responsible for forcing men to make civilization, obviously) are the fucking devil. Thanks, Timothy Leary! You opened my mind.

>>5713499
>>5713509
I fucking SPIT almost my entire drink on my screen. This shit is pure gold. Would read a whole PDF of.

yeah...no.
sorry op.

This one is the longest. It has a fantasy angle.
1/2

>>5713624
2/2

This is brilliant, keep up the good work.

>>5713643
(Forgot pic) I also have this short one which is kind of fantasy too. I don't know what the red spot is.

This next one is a war story. It also has weird drawings of people shitting on the second page. 1/2

>>5713669
2/2 Don't know what I was trying to accomplish here.

>>5713676
>Bounce that turd!

Burroughs would be proud

>>5713696
That's kind of a tragedy. Why is it always twenty minutes of pussy eating? What are you drinking?

>>5713699
That's horrifying.

>>5713624

upvoted ;)

>>5713719
I drink whiskey mostly. Beer sometimes. I don't know why it has to be 20 minutes.

This next series is loosely tied together by themes of domination and scat. It's pretty much all that remains. 1/4

>>5713735
2/4

>>5713745
3/4

>>5713752
4/4

Learn some cursive.

I like your handwriting.

hey, OP, the middle ages just called, this have this new and impressive shit called "minuscule", maybe you wanna try and catch up.

dude i don't want to jump the gun but i think you might have a hit on your hands here

>>5713424
>Her pussy was wet like the nose of a dog. A sexual dog.

Shakespearean wordplay anon, bravo

Saved for a rainy day. Thanks for the laughs, plz post more if you have

Yeah, i couldn't write when i'm fucked up either. At best I could only think of ideas and jot them down.

The fucked up thing is every now and then i'd think up a brilliant idea, so then i'd think it's a great idea to get drunk and think up ideas, completely ignoring that 99.9% I think up when i'm drunk is garbage.

Also, i suspect i would have thought up the brilliant ideas anyway, being drunk had nothing to do with it.

>>5713877
Dang dogg, you sure pwned me. You should see the way I wrote before I changed to this style. It was illegible.

>>5713942
i can never look at dogs as at pure beings again

>>5714077

>>5714077
I wanted this to not be over, thank you OP

>>5713424

Maybe it's because those writers could handle their alcohol because they drank all day, every day mate. At least when they were attending siestas. When I used to drink a ton I would often write essays drunk and it's not quite the same of course but my essays always managed to be structured properly and generally fairly good. The whole writing while drunk thing only works if you're an alcoholic who is numbed to the effects of alcohol. Just getting trashed isn't going to help you

>>5713465
Shakespeare did it fggt.

>>5713479
>>5713499
>>5713522
...but that's another story

>>5714077
Haha, this is brilliant

>>5713624
>he kept pressing her clit like it was a doorbell and he was playing a prank on her body: the prank of pleasure.

>>5713549
>writing on psychedelics

I'm an adult...

I can tie my shoes
(crude drawing of tied shoes)

I CAN BRUSH MY TEETH
(crude drawing of a man with clean teeth beaming grotesquely, with "Hubris" written underneath it)

BUTTTTT......
WHOOPS!

I forgot how to be human! :P
(half-completed drawing of homer simpson's face)
Aw fuck it!

>verdict:

8/10

>>5714437

>I forgot how to be human! :P

this is the kind of dweeby smack talk one of those young whiteboy priests in training would throw out. you're as lame as he is grats.

>>5714459
Yeah, you're right

>be 21yo virgin
>meet a girl at uni
>she acts tsundere
>text and facebook message her non-stop, pretty much harass her into dating me
>after weeks of this I finally break her will and she accepts
>go on a date
>we hit it off
>finally have a qt3.14 girlfriend
fast forward a couple weeks
>first time having sex
>her pussy is farting non stop
>she tries to act like it's normal and just ignores the situation
>I go out of my way to tell her it's no big deal
>tell her I enjoy her body and that pussyfarts are natural
>tell her her body is a wonderland
>the pussyfarts keep on coming
>I feel a little awkward so I try to put her at ease by breathing in the pussy air
>every time a pussyfart comes, I pull out and sensually smell around her pussy area
>deep breaths
>this goes on for 5-6 pussyfarts
>each time, say something like "your body is a wonderland", compliment her, say I love her scent, etc.
>on the 6th or 7th time, she stops me and gets up like she's mad
>puts her clothes back on, says this isn't gonna work
>leaves
>hasn't responded to any of my texts or FB messages even though I've left her hundreds

Does that mean I'm still a virgin /lit/?

>>5713424
It has always seemed to me that how you are drunk socially will be how you are drunk in writing. People who drink and do stupid shit will drink and write stupid shit. People who drink and have the same conversations will do the same.

"Write drunk, edit sober" isn't literal advice though. It means you should write when having the most powerful feelings, and want to express yourself without any inhibition. Then, when you're in a more rational state, re-read to see what was in your emotional mind.

The best stuff you will EVER write will be written from pure emotion. I've written tons of "good" essays from my rational mind. I can pump them out a dime a dozen. The only essay I've ever written that a professor took the time to seriously commend, above and beyond anything I've ever heard, I almost didn't turn in because it was written very emotionally and I felt very embarrassed that I was turning it in because it was "too revealing" about my inner self.

At that point, I realized what it was about. People like the humanity of writing. If your writing is inhuman robotic horse shit, no matter how fancy the prose or intellectual the content, no one will care.

>>5713424
That was funny as shit OP. The latter half of the page was meh, but I was laughing on the first paragraph.

Lighten up dude. Your writing is okay.

>>5713479
>He whiffed and puffed at her organ for 20 minutes straight. Nice.

Fuck OP, you're a fucking hilarious writer. Keep it up.

>>5713499
>"Ooga booga!"

never stop, OP, you are fucking amazing

>>5713549
I tried writing on psychedelics once, and instead just started crying because it's too hard to not think of depressing stories

>put on Feel Good inc., by Gorillaz

GoingPlaces.png

>>5714077
OP, THIS WRITING IS LEGITIMATELY MORE ENTERTAINING AND HUMAN THAN ANYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN THE AUTISTS ON /LIT/ WRITE

NEVER STOP

>>5713424
Great read OP
Start a blog or something. Got a PDF of your work?
Would read more/10

>>5713424
>A sexual dog.

>>5714642
>Flashbird

This is my page of scribblings from when I took acid one time

>>5713499
>spelling chernobyl with a 't' at the beginning
fuck of you pseudo-intellectual pleb

>>5715397
Well you didn't capitalize it so the joke's on you.

>>5713499
Can we see your sketchwork?

You're all going to turn op into a raging alcoholic

>>5717012

They already turn every one who posts here into a raging faggot, so at least he can be a raging homossexual alcoholicthat write funny stuff

>>5716986
I guess, but it's even worse than the writing. I'll take pics when I get home.

>>5713499
>10/10 GREAT PAGE
Nice.

Holy fuck this is amazing. I love you OP.

>>5717227
>>5716986
All right, here it comes. I have to warn you though, it's even more retarded than the writing.

>>5717454

>>5717462
There's also a bunch of these crude comics if you're interested.

OP, how old are you? Just wondering

>>5718212
24 years of age.

Found one more. It's about "memes". 1/2

>>5719028
2/2

>>5713424
This is amazing

>>5719028
Lost it on the first 2 sentences

>>5719028
vin diesel isn't in tokyo drift jesus christ have some respect

>>5719028
thats hilarious

>>5719034
>Thats how passwords worked now
I work in information security, I absolutely lost my shit. Thats fucking hilarious

OP
Please, please PDF this whole thing or whatever, I want to read it all, it's fantastic.

>>5714077
>Jezebel wouldn't even pick it up
Holy shit OP you are a genius

OP stop stroking your own dick.

Maybe don't get completely shit faced. I find that sometimes being little drunk helps to get some ideas(so that i'm more easy going but still functional). Although usually I only want to write a general ideas or short stuff in those moments.
Also often when I'm hangover I feel creative because I still have some alcohol in me

>>5713424
>A sexual dog.

>He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged shark, his bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm. Mary's body felt like it was burning, even though the room was properly air conditioned. They tried all the positions: on top, doggy, and normal. Exhausted, they collapsed onto the recently extended sofa bed. Then a hellbeast ate them.

>>5719347
You need to dumb it down even more if you're gonna be like OP.

>>5713465
>hating on substantive adjectives

grammar nazism is the elitism of language students who have no history and no linguistics

the only purpose of writing drunk is to expose to yourself your dominant subconscious tendencies, so you can better detect where they intrude into your sober work.

I don't think you're supposed to be completely shitfaced. Either way, I haven't laughed so hard at a post on this site in a while.l

>>5713424
By the way OP you have incredibly pretty handwriting. I wish my dysgraphic ass could ever produce something like that.

>A sexual dog

>>5720567
Thanks, it's all right I guess. It's still evolving. Someone gave me a fountain pen last christmas and I made the conscious decision to write more legibly. It only took me about a month to get rid of my old habits. I'd definitely recommend it.

>>5722087

I really like the color. It could just be the lighting, but it really looks like Pilot Iroshizuku Tsuki-Yo to me.

>>5722569
It's not lol. It's just this cheap Monteverde ink.

http://www.amazon.com/Monteverde-International-Cartridge-Fountain-G302GN/dp/B002IKK66S/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t/179-1855278-3223744

>>5722781

Oh, well it looks nice under your lighting :^)

Good job on the handwriting and the stories. There are some fucking gems in here.

>>5719309
lol I ain't typing all that shit

I WON'T DARE EDIT ANYTHING SOBER, ON ACCOUNT'AH IF I AIN'T HITTING BACKSPACE FAST ENOUGH I SHOULDN'T BE OPERATING A MOTOR MACHEN ANYHOW, GOT THAT MEARBLRSD? I FUCKINGKNOW YO DADDY AND I KNOW YO MAMMA LIKE YO DADDY AIN'T KNOW YA MAMA YA LIKE DAT BITCH WHO YO DADDY OKAY THAT LAST BIT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BIT FORCEDMEME.JPEG BUT YOU GOTTA ADMIT, I GOT SOME TONSILS TO BE YELLIN' THIS HARD THIS LONG HEH, YEAH RIGHT ALL IT TAKES IS TAPPING 'CAPSLOCK' ONCE AND THEN BIG DEAL, THE REST IS PSYCHOLOGCAL... WHELL I HOPE IT IS ANYHOW OTHERWISE THIS IS KIND OF SAD, BUT I DO SOMETIMES GET THE FEEL THAT THERE'S A KIND OF SYCNRETICISTIC WINDOW THAT'S OPENNING UP BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE IDEA OF PSYCHOLOGIC-ALL AS OPPOSED TO PSYCHOLOGICAL IS BASICALLY IN TEH UPANISHADS, I DARE YOU TO CHECK BITCH, ATMAN=BRAHMAN AND YEAH, I'LL PULL THAT SHIT ANYHOW, BAN ME FAGGOT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, RUN ME OVER WIT A GOD-DAMN TRUCK BITCH I'LL SNAP BACK LIKE FUCKING RUBBER-BAND PLATO, LIKE WHOOPS I THOUGHT MY DAD FOUGHT THE AIR FORCE CUZ HE BE ARMY AND I WAS A CHILD, YOU KNOW, LIKE, I DON'T MISS FIREWORKS AND PATRIOTISM, I'M NOT JUST SOME POST-PLEDGE-OFALLIGIENCE ELLIOT ROGERS MONSTER FUCKIN I AIN'T GAY NAH NOT FELEIN THAT

>>5713499
This is actually amazing; please never stop drinking.

>>5719034
>I can handle the memes. Leave the memes to me.