/lit/ - Literature

>>5447093
It's not.

>>5447093
Slowly. Keep coming up with new ideas, can't stick to just one. It's suffering.

>>5447093
pretty good. I'm 80 pages strong in a 200ish page novella I'm working on. Shit's pretty tight

>>5447217

same man

I have a bunch of ideas that I'm trying to chain together for one story/novel but I'm terrible at sitting down and putting words to paper.

>>5447244

Post it here when you are done. Synopsis?

I keep introducing new characters without tying them together in any way that's significant to the plot. I either have to get rid of a few of them or completely restructure the damn thing. Tending toward the latter.

>>5447260
>>5447282
I can think of good characters and good stories that could account for sequels in a series, but I can't come up with a good origin story or a reason for them to travel together to the ends of the Earth.

It's a romance novel about two lesbian noblewomen in the 13th century

It is utter dreck and I am ashamed of myself for having written it, but the only local publisher I could find who accepts unsolicited manuscripts specialises in LGBT romance

I know one of the higher ups from University. She's very well-read, it's a little confusing that so much of the stuff they publish is absolute garbage

>>5447341
Try to write it as a stealth parody of genderqueer theory. Make fun of them

>>5447093
Pretty well.

I'm about to write a scene where a thug has his arm ripped off by a lion, which he then beats to death with said arm.

>>5447318

I have the defining scenes, important characters, and the plot devices I want to use but I have no idea what the main plot would be for the story to lead up to those scenes and characters.

It'd help if I planned out the fictional world the story takes place in but I'm not even sure of that myself yet.

>>5447093
Pretty well, but the task is mind-numbing. I'm writing a science fiction thriller set in the Vietnam war, and I've been working on it for a year now. I finished the first draft in three months; it was 110,000 words/364 pages. I edited it, hated it, and scrapped it all. After some major plot overhauls, I started rewriting it from scratch January of this year, and I finished the second draft in July. It totaled in at a word count of 204,000 words/640 pages. I'm honestly really happy with it, but there was a ridiculous amount of shit to omit, so I've taken the meat cleaver to it and I'm carving the fat off so only the lean writing is left.

I'm in the process of rewriting several chapters (Only four chapters left to rewrite from scratch), and then after that I'll be going over the rest of the draft with a magnifying glass, basically rewriting the rest of the novel one sentence at a time. Don't get me wrong, I'll never give this dream up, but holy hell is this stressful. I have faith in myself and my ability, and I'm sure that I'll get the novel up to my standard of 'perfection' (basically when I think its polished enough to say I'm fucking done and send it to a literary agent), but holy fuck man. This has been a year of wringing every thought from my brain. Its a pain in the ass. I still have to get the word count down by another 25,000 at least, but I'm sure I can get it down way more than that. A word count of 100,000 would be nice. Its going well, but its stressful as fuck.

>>5447428
Cont.

On top of all this, I'm also planning out potential sequels that would take place in the Angolan Civil War and a theoretical third world war. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but shit, I like what I write and I'm going to continue doing it. If I do get attention from a publisher, it'd probably help if I can say I'm already writing the rest of a trilogy.

>>5447428
It sounds cool. What's the title you have for it so I can keep an eye out for it in the future?

>>5447447
Well, the current working title is 'Hunted', but I'll probably change that since it's pretty generic. My other idea for a title is 'The Primal War', or something along those lines.

Submitted a novel(la) last month to a realtively big publisher, if that doesn't work I might edit and send it to a smaller publisher I'm confident will publish it.

Currently plotting a novel that is more ambitious and more surreal, actually pretty excited, hoping the whole thing will come clear to me before I start writing but I'll probably have to slug through it

Im utterly incapable of writing anything literal, there should be a term for this, "teenage metaphor syndrome" maybe.

>>5447093
Revisal is going slowly, somewhere in the middle of the novel, page 215... Struggling to remove/adjust this fancy scenes where I jump POV for a few lines but can't come up with a good way to transport the information. Yet.

>>5447282
Fuck, I used to do that too, even if they played a somehow relevant role to the plot, it's just bloating it up. Try to combine few in one or cut.

>>5447428
>science fiction thriller set in the Vietnam war
>Angolan Civil War
Specially the later is damn rare scenario and Vietnam beyond American POV sounds pretty nice too, where does the sci fi element come in?

>>5447471
Surreal and ambitious? Do tell.

It's getting bogged down a bit now. I've done 120,000 words since starting in early August, and it started as a simple Castlevania pastiche set in 1913 Austria before evolving into some kind of bizarre creature that's now part Gothic adventure story, part surreal historical narrative, and a third part French erotica. It concerns a vampire-hunting family of Englishmen and their relationship with an innocent Catholic vampire as they try to prevent a second vampire from stopping World War One. I'm having tremendous fun but by this point the constant overwrought drama of it is weighing on me a bit

>>5447478
It's not worth it at this point. I'll just get ahead of myself, build up this big fake sense of certainty, then think about it tomorrow and feel like stepping in front of a locomotive. I've been watching Charlie Kaufman movies and feel "inspired" if that's not too cliched a reaction. I feel like this after a bunch of movies though, so I'm hoping this idea won't run out of steam as they did. I watched Linklater's movie Slacker and wrote 30 thousand words in the style that movie is filmed (jumping from character/slice of life) and it was really just not very good

I need to write a few of the early chapters from scratch, which is less than a month of work, then get around 50 or so more pages of handwriting and do overall edits when it's all done. I'm all pumped though it might take more than it seems to due to schoolwork.

>>5447476
>that name
I like it, +1 to TMS.

>>5447477
I'll try to sum it up, but its a little complex. Basically, the main characters are an American search and rescue team, and they are sent into an isolated valley to find a missing team of green beret. They run into predatory creatures, and throughout the rest of the novel, they have to unravel the mystery of where the creatures came from while dealing with their own severe emotional and mental issues. There's also an underlying mystery of their own orders as well, and why they were brought into the valley to begin with.

>>5447495
Work on the plot, characters, and themes first, then focus on narrative style. You should have a clear message in mind before you go about stylizing it.

I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but I know how you feel.

>>5447505
Sounds pretty neat, actually. I'd read it.
inb4 the creatures ARE the green berets.

>>5447517
I have the "message", though like all messages I am immediately aware that it is either very obvious, and therefore quite boring. Sort of like when you read a 300 page novel that is pretty ok until the penultimate scene when the author steps in with dirty shoes and shouts "learn to accept yourself" or some such platitute that makes you go "really dude, it was going so well!". My own "message" (quotations already, see how concerned I am) isn't moralistic or anything though, and I know for a fact it's contemporarily (wowza) relevant, but yeah one of my main flaws is being pretty creative and whathaveyou but being unable to sit down and think "Ok this links to this, and then that can recur to that" etc. I'm doing that now but I'm so "detached" and doubtful most of the time that I know it'll just be a case of my mind infighting for things to be that or this way, with nothing getting done and like 20k of words that I re-read with an expression of a father watching his child eat his own shit aged seventeen or something

>>5447505
Sounds existential in a sort of jarheadish way

>>5447545
*woops, meant to delete the "either" in the first sentence

>>5447544
Nope, the Green Beret are all dead by the time the main characters arrive.

I'm glad you're somewhat interested in this, I'd be willing to share some but I'm not sure how I'd share it.

>>5447545
Damn mang, that was pretty negative. The key to the message is keeping it low-key. I get worried that my own themes are heavy handed at times, but luckily there are always ways to tone down the message and just sprinkle it a little throughout. It doesn't have to be like a fable with the moral revealed at the end. It can just be hinted at with the reader putting it together on their own.

>>5447545
My philosophy is to write about varried characters that go through their own unique metamorphoses and your readers will walk away with what spoke to them the most. Above all else, you have to enjoy writing it. If you can't even grab your own attention, how will you ever grab the attention of readers?

>>5447551
It is. I would consider it science fiction, but the themes and narrative style more relate to the writings of authors like PJ Caputo or Tim O'Brien. Most of the themes relate to the soldiers and the things they suffer through, and how they deal with it. One of the greatest and most prevalent themes in the novel is escapism, through substance or sustenance. There are sci fi and straight-up military themes as well, but most of the themes stem from the soldiers and their emotional struggles.

>>5447093
I'm writing a book of poetry, and the poems come together to form a surreal memoir of a man who may or may not have existed, and no one will ever know for sure once he's dead.
The man is me. Once I'm done with this novel, I'm just going to leave it on my hard drive. Maybe when I'm dead, someone will come across it, somehow, or most likely no one ever will. It will represent my life, because it existed but never made a lasting impression, in its limited time on this planet. Just like me.

I've got the bare bones of the plot and characters worked out but I have to wait until I can afford more treatment for my carpal tunnel before I can do anything more substantial.

>>5447556
Yeah I have like three ideas already about slipping the theme in, which I think are pretty cool and humorous. Yeah that's the plan with it being a gradual thing rather than a big revelation in the final paragraph. I hope to leave it open-ended or something. The thing is until now I've been apeing the whole deadpan minimalist thing, but it's always felt so odd and uncomfrotable for me, and I now sort of realize that I'm really a "maximalist" in terms of writing, and that I'm too prone to slipping into sentimentality, or littering my work with real boring symbolism, that what I'm really good at (if I can this without sounding like a a-hole) is rather lengthy, semi-surreal stuff that is both interesting and I hope meaningful in a way that doesn't set up everything as a joke. What I know I could do with is another human being whose views of ltierature I respect, to tell me"this works, that is cringworthy, and so on, but alas, all I have is my own capricious internal editor who lives so much in the present that anything I've produced in the past is read with a sort of constanza-esque raise of the brow. What are you currently working on by the way?

>>5447574

>>5447562
That's true and solid advice, but my problem currently is tht one day I'll feel pretty "down" or "neutral" and I'll write 2k words in the style of Stoner (shortish sentences, no digressions, little conspicuous humour) and the next I'll feel real energetic and mentally pretty "On it" (like I do right now) and I'll write a scene where there's lengthy converastions and humorous observations and generally less depressing or neutral the whole time, and each time I'll dismiss the other style. It's weird man. I know the writers I like most generally aren't minimalists, though I can't help but suspect that the reason for this is that I'm too childish or excitable or something, and that "real writing" should perhaps be like a haiku writ large. Any thoughts on that? What's your "style" like, if any?

>>5447592
I'm working on this ----> >>5447505

I understand what you mean by Maximalist vs. Minimalist. I have a hard time putting a powerful punch into a short word count, but that's because I'd rather paint a large, grander picture. I can appreciate both styles, but I lean towards Maximalist. Its a difficulty, though, considering word count. Its like striking the perfect balance.

>>5447611
Is a higher word count bad do you think? Not him, and I haven't really mentioned my work in the thread, but my prologue is at 1,037 words and that just might have barely described all of fifty seconds. Of course, I'm going over character backstories, personalities, looks, etc.

>>5447592

That would be the ultimate english masterpiece if done correctly.

>>5447611
That's cool, I'm >>5447551 (not I used the term "jarheadish" in a neutral sense, not sure if it translates as a pejorative for Americans)

What I think the main problem with minimalists is is that their work is either pretty mawkish, or that it is filled with symbolism or recurring images (which are symbolic) that are either very obvious, or which *seem* as they are profound or meaningful without there being the intensity of analysis or anything to suggest the author knows anything about it. It's like Hemingway's thing about the iceberg. How is the reader supposed to tell whether there is anything belowthe surface? It's often like a chihuahua wearing a fake shark's fin I find, in that the surface although slight suggests a depth or intensity that is simply lacking. Look at all the Tao Lin imitators. Sure their work is "ok", but very often the sort of deep "below the surface" stuff they want to make you believe is really there just isn't. "Oh but you don't *get it*". I mean sure, maybe, but I've read Hemingway and he is at least good reading without there being anything else to *get*, and these guys just aren't fun reading. I can name names though I'll not at this point to not seem bitter or jealous.

But with maximalism there's this "guys, I'm over here, look, guys!" thing where the author is obviously so terrified of their reader losing attention (probably because of the author's own lack of attention span or proneness to dismissing or being skeptical abotu the thing they're reading) that they pad their work with *so* many jokes, and riffs, and banana slips that although it's funny to read most of the time, when you're sad and lonely and really want to relate to a character or read a book that is speaking to you, that stuff just seems flat and actually pretty repulsive in a way. H

>>5447611
>I have a hard time putting a powerful punch into a short word count, but that's because I'd rather paint a large, grander picture.
The fewer words you use for it, the better it will be. Minimalism is not necessary about using few words, just as few as needed.

>>5447630
Yeah, nah, see this is why I was hesistant to post. Now you're getting my ego to get comfy and think "you know Anon you really might have a maasterpiece on your hands here", which will only make my eventual disillusionment twice as heartbreaking

>>5447634
*note I used the term...


Sorry I should really edit my posts

>>5447627
Like I said, its a bit of a balance. The main issue with word count is how it affects your ability to get published. The standard accepted word length for a first time novelist is about 100,000 words, which really isn't that much, but that's because its a money game. More words = more pages = bigger risk to publish. Depending on the genre you can have higher word counts, like Sci-Fi and fantasy, which gets about 150,000 word count, or historical epic, which can get up to 175,000, but the general rule of thumb is less is more. The less it takes for you to get your message across, the better.

I say just stick with your style of writing and keep word length limits in mind. Hopefully when you go back and edit, you can hack off the needless excess and keep the novel more trim.

>>5447634
When I talk minimalism, I like to think of short stories, where every word literally counts for something, and each sentence should strike you in a powerful way. If I were to write in a minimalist style, everything I write would have to be very heavy handed, though the fact there there is less to read means people will compensate by looking more deeply into it, like your iceberg analogy.

>>5447638
I understand that, and I'm working on it. Its surprising how little you really have to say to get a message across, sometimes.

>>5447505

So, I'm the guy that posted this, and at the risk of looking like an ego-inflated blowhard, I'm going to share a chapter if anybody feels like giving it a quick read. It's one of the chapters that I just rewrote, so it hasn't been edited yet. If there are grammatical errors, i apologize.

I appreciate any and all criticism, and if you take the time to read it, thank you.

http://pastebin.com/b7SHWws2

>>5447663
>where every word literally counts for something

Yeah I've heard this said before about minimalism, though I can't imagine a work where that maxim is literally followed with every sentence. I find that would be so much more sincere than a po-mo, ironic maximialist thing. I mean having every sentence (let alone word) be relevant to the predominant narrative theme just seems wearing and so artfully crafted that its like an equation rather than a story. That doesn't mean that padding and digressions are superior, but I think there's a middle groudn somewhere where there's room for humour and observational stuff so that the real frankly relevant stuff will just hit you. Yeah I know what you mean with the heavy-handed thing, I find that my heavy-handedness comes in the form of just depressing observations that tie in with the consistnetly negative "theme" or idea. That's the thing with compensating for length with precision of analysis.

Ok here's an example of a recent minimalist of the recent alt-lit/tao lin school:

http://muumuuhouse.com/tws.21aug2014.html


I mean not only is it ugly prose (in my opinion) but the things the ugliness is supposed to represent is obvious (and almost always the same thing: the statis and numbness that is apparently unique to post-internet culture) the themes and recuring imagery is so obvious that the slog through the prose just doesn't seem worth it. Would like to hear your or anybody elses thoughts on the above excerpt

I've been working on a fantasy story where Angels and Demons are races that occupy the world rather than being spiritual entities, which is something I, personally, have necer seen been done. I've put a spin on Golems as well, as the main character is one. Also, I've put a lot of thought into an original race I came up with called the Uldrin.

>>5447093
Very well, just finished another chapter, see pic.

It's about a mysterious loner with amnesia (Rhyce Karêi) who is also a vampire, and he wants to avenge his nemises (Flashbird) who killed his girlfriend and Flashbird is also his brother and he uses guns while Rhyce uses his katana and he can cut steel with his katana.

>>5447694

>>5447694
>>5447698

i hope those are not srs

>>5447694
Is this metamodernist futurist quadruple new post-honest-irony?

>>5447686
>The interior of the jungle was more immense than anything Leon had ever seen
"had ever seen" seems a little cliched

>created the understory craned overhead, creating a thin
Created used twice

>scattered the moonlight to the undergrowth
Moonlight "across" or "onto"?

>As Leon slipped through the chest-high palm plants and broad-leaved vegetation,
Are plants not vegetation? Phrasing seems to suggests they're different.

>Its beautiful, he thought. So beautiful. I would live here.
The fact the trees have been described with words like "gnarled" and "knuckle deep" suggest an initimdating atmosphere that he would not find hospitable.

>he looked all around in astonishment.
I'm no big fan of "show don't tell" but I think something suggesting his astonishment, such as wide eyes or an agape mouth, would make the scene more immersive for the reader

>Mist drifted over the vegetation, revealing the pillars of moonlight that skewered the understory
Seems like once the moonlight and vegetation image has been introduced, any further references to it should be more casual,as writing it in this way pushes the reader back to the margins of the scene, rather than having them see the "pale light" or whatever in a more familiar sense

>Ryan shivered; the prospect of a man eater gave him chills.
"gave him the chills" seems cliched. Shivering to suggest fear is also pretty over-used IMO.

>He could see their pale eyes in the darkness, flicking left and right, and their silhouettes betrayed their emotions
In what way did their silhouttes betray their emotions? Were they hunched? Did they flinch with each cracked twig?

Overall it was pretty good, reminded me of a movie about Vietnam I can't remmber the name of (not Apocalypse Now, the one where the gooks creep in at night while they're sleeping) and Jurassic Park (with the weirdly huge vegetation I guess). I've only included some suggestions as I don't want to seem overly negative, as it is pretty interesting.

I have about a page done. Maybe.

>tfw cant motivate myself to write because everything i come up with i think is shiet
>almost all people i show my scenes to think my characterizations, ideas and descriptions are superb
>tfw just using cookie cutter LAL class story writing and a smidge of creativity

Maybe I should just go into YA genre fiction and write by the paycheck.

>>5447545
This anon here. Anybody care to critique my proposed opening paragraph?

It's here if you are: (roughly 100 words)
http://pastebin.com/LERmX4ZQ

>>5447688
>an original race I came up with
Have newly introduced races in the modern age ever really become widely accepted and popular?

>>5447771
Eurasians?

>>5447771
I think the special olympics is pretty modern.

I finish a chapter each weekend.

It could be better but I am doing it for fun so fuck it.

I like it.

>>5447768
>tfw two people have read this
>tfw neither have commented

>>5447771
I'm not really looking for acceptance, it's just something I thought would fit the world and be fun to write about. The Uldrin are a humanoid walrus-like people who have evolved to adapt to the frigid and extremely salty climate and waters of the planet's northern polar ocean.

There are actually no humans in my universe. Every race is a result of evolution from humans to adapt to their surroundings, Elves in the wooded areas, Angels in the plains and mountainous areas, Demons in the volcanic and desert areas, etc.

>>5447768

Three now.

Your descriptions of things seems really mechanical.

finished it a week ago. editing it now. hope to have it online in stores in a few months.

>>5447802
Mechanical in what sense? Each thing I've mentioned introduce the "theme" in some way, if that makes it more understanable (though it might make you roll your eyes and say "oh, it's meant to sound retarded" or whatever)

>>5447809

It's hard to say.

They just seem like they are being put out there as facts rather than presented as a setting.

I dont know,

I dont know how to critique I just know what I think. Dont listen to me.

I just started a novel myself, I've got almost 22,000 words down but it's come to a standstill due to distraction by real life stuff. Plus although I was fairly proud of it at first, I'm starting to feel like it's kind of shit.

>>5447813
No I value your opinion, and it's important that I understand what you mean before I get going with this thing in a big way

>>5447822
Summarize your novel in a maximum of four lines

>>5447833
-
-
-
-

I had a lot of things happen to me so I'm writing an autobiography. Someday want to publish it under my real name, but unsure how to handle talking about other people. I've gotten a page done, started it yesterday and it's easier than the other fiction novels I'm working on

>>5447481
>simple Castlevania pastiche set in 1913 Austria before evolving into some kind of bizarre creature that's now part Gothic adventure story, part surreal historical narrative, and a third part French erotica

literally drooling at the prospect of reading this

>vampire

sigh, into the trash it goes

>>5447833

Well, it's sort of weird, it's based off an old story I made up when Randy Savage died.

Gordy Bravo, retired pro wrestler, is brutally murdered. He wakes up in Hell to find out that his career isn't over yet. He must rise to meet his destiny accompanied by his old also dead friend, The Berserker, and stop the Rapture from happening. Otherwise, existence as we know it will be completely destroyed.

I just sent it off to my publisher.

Snowflake

The story of a intelligent young beautiful but plain named Sophia Averygerl, who one day discovers that she is really a budding sorceress with a dark past that she cannot remember. She gets accepted to an exclusive academy for young teens with magic abilities, where she meets Zane Mcbrood, a mysterious werewolf vampire hybrid boy, who keep everyone away from his broken heart. Once he lays eyes on Sophia he cant help but be pulled into her uniqueness and the too become entwined into a whirlwind of passion, but that all changes once Sophia discovers that she is the worlds only sorceress who can also become the werevamp sorceress spoken of in ancient prophecy, who is destined to bring back the unicorns which will reign in an endless era of peace. Is Zanes love enough to give her enough strength to battle the forces trying to throw the world into chaos and tear their love apart?

>>5447833

>adventurous girl finds relic in deep woods
>She unknowingly resumes responsibilites the owner of relic had
>finds herself as a pivotal facet in a long raging conflict between the "spirits" I guess we will call them of the forest

Very bare bones but thats the jist of it.

>>5447093
slowly. its not even a book.. its just a collection of stupid things ive written over the years. Its probably going to be a very small..short novel. more like a pamphlet. I never wanted to write a book anyway, im not a writer.

>>5447865
This reminded me of another book but I can't recall which one it is.

>>5447574
perhaps you should write it on paper, because its very likely your harddrive will die before you do.

just something to think about.

>>5447870
sounds like a miyazaki film

>>5447870

I am sure there is a million stories like it.

I am just writing it for fun and maybe if I like it enough I will clean it up and try to submit it for publication.

Probably wont though.

>>5447876
He should upload it somewhere.

>>5447858
Beautiful.

>>5447790
hey, pretty similar here, can barely dedicate more time to it due to all the errandseven though writing is the only thing I genuinely enjoy, but I feel like it's still decent, despite being extended bit by bit, slowly and casually.

It's sick that you like it, definitely a good feel.

>>5447800
>The Uldrin are a humanoid walrus-like people who have evolved to adapt to the frigid and extremely salty climate and waters of the planet's northern polar ocean.
Sounds cool.

>no humans
>Every race is a result of evolution from humans to adapt to their surroundings
Pretty cool too.

>Elves in the wooded areas, Angels in the plains and mountainous areas, Demons in the volcanic and desert areas
Icky and cliché as fuck. Unless they are just called like that and don't have the typical attributes...

>>5447865
Sounds pretty fun actually. Nothing overly original but probably a good read, if you can write.

>>5447858
Nigga is going to be rich soon.

>>5447858
Do unicorns figure into the romance at all?

>>5448039
why the fuck not

Not that guy but they're awesome and they fit everywhere

Also how would you imagine that story without the unicorn bit

>>5447702
Dead srs. See pic.

>>5447707
No, just genuine literature.

>>5448055

>>5447833
>guy executes a nobleman knight by his own sword for treason and instantly has a powerful vision about him coming back with unimaginable strength and destroying the capital city
>he starts having frequent yet less powerful visions of the knight killing innocent people all around him, each murder becoming more and more gruesome
>the visions start coming true and it becomes evident that the knight's ghost is haunting the main character and using him as a vessel to continue his treasonous acts as revenge for his untimely death and humiliation of being killed by his own blade
>the main character must locate the people who appeared in his initial vision in an attempt to find a way to stop the ghost before it becomes powerful enough to make it become reality

That's the bare-bones of it without mentioning other main characters, support characters, and side-plots.

I have a lot ideas for a dark fantasy that ditches the Tolkien and D&D inspirations.

i could start writing right now but i don't think i'm in the mood to disappoint myself with how bad and cliche it'll probably be.

>>5447833
-girls only
-WARRIORS COME OUT AND PLA-Y-AY
-giantess porn
-vivid descriptions of teeth

>>5447833
>>5448073
>lines

Guess I fucked that up. I read it as points. At least each point is obe sentence.

>>5448074
Seeing as how Tolkein influenced a lot of modern fantasy, if not all of it, what aspects will you drop that will still leave your book identifiable as fantasy to the average reader?

>>5447093
I hesitated (times) infinity_gauntlet thrown at my head, the concuscious-iousness wasn't sped the problematics form so much as the stunt to my spines. I stacked, I stacked, shebballah bialik.

>>5447428
>>5447445
Fuck I'd read that.
What's the working title?

>>5448129
Didn't see >>5447454, nevermind

>>5448102

To be honest, I thought the literal interpretation of lines in this response

>>5447837

was a joke/troll, myself

>>5448118
You what?

>>5448118

>>5448152
I can see how you might have thought that, though I thought your post was your own way of saying you had no idea.

>>5448115
no elves, dwarves or any other trademark race

no black and white good vs evil spectrum

i'd like for the tone to be pretty hopeless as well

>>5448011

It is very light hearted and plays a lot on childhood whimsy. Has a tone of a story book with bigger words I guess.

I would post some if I didnt have to fuck off to work right now.

>>5448163

Nah man, I thought four lines just meant four sentences, hence my response here.

>>5447848

Then everyone else started using the lines or greentexting so I thought I'd missed the boat somewhere

>>5448186
Ah, okay. That story's actually pretty cool. Depending on how the plot and pacing was handled, I'd read it.

Are there any decent places when you can get your writing reviewed?

Has anyone had their stuff reviewed, and did it make you a better writer?

>>5448214

Thanks man, much appreciated. If you're the guy who's writing about the ghost knight that wants revenge, I thought that premise sounded cool too.

I also liked the Nam Sci-Fi premise, as well, that weird war shit always intrigues me

>>5448226
Yeah, that was me. Thanks a lot, hopefully you'll see it on shelves some day.

>>5447592
Do you write in english? Your approach Sounds almost exactly like mine. I keep stopping to think "woa, nobody Will ever consider this 'proper' literature," although it really is to me.

>>5448378
Yep I do, how come you ask?

What kind of stuff do you write?

>>5447093
It sold 40 copies in a week and none the week after

>>5448394
GOTTA ADVERTISE, SON. GET THOSE 4CHAN AD REVENUES COMING IN.

>>5448391
I asked because I don't, and had a slim hope of getting a Critique co-op going, with a stranger that doesn't care about my feelings, at the same time as doing something of the same. All the writers I know are either poets, shitty or both.

I do a lot of different stuff, but mainly I've been working for some years on a novel that I guess would partially be called historical fiction, but that's not really important since the setting is just kind of there. I've been thinking that my style is kind of schizofrenic, since I tend to drift in and out of foreground and background, letting things ramble within the characters own inner logic and attention, instead of what the plot "demands" to be told to be coherent.

>>5448511
Sorry about the late reply man. What language do write in? I'm not sure how long you've been on here but the board is pretty diverse so there's sure to be someone who speaks your native language.

Your work sounds interesting, though of course it would be hard for me to judge what with the language barrier I guess. How is it coming along?

>>5448663
No worries. I've been on lit forever, and see some danes every now and then, but somehow your post just struck me.
It's comming along pretty well. I'm basically done with the second draft, but there's still some way to go. I keep complicating things. I have five different 'voices' or tones to the text that really demands a lot of me to change between, while still keeping some kind of overall coherence, so I'm trying to make that work now I guess.

>>5448758
I know what you mean with the "tones" I guess. I think it's down to my being A) really intent on getting this thing done so I don't spend years fretting over each verb and B) that I'm so prone to sudden change of mind and so anxious as to how I'll be perceived, that I keep swtiching writing styles

Cool, you're pretty far ahead then. How many words are you at? The novella I submitted recently was 38k words, though if there's interest I have plans to expand it a little.

It's 5 PM, you wake up after a long night of no sleep and clicking around online. You feel groggy, tired, almost as if you've been drained. You get up, looking at your American flag in a daze. Remembering the days in which you wanted to be Special Forces, but realized you've been disqualified.


Of course, that's not the only reason why you're depressed. You don't know why, really. Your parents were recently divorced, and you lived with your mom, maybe that's why? But you hate your father.


You were Baker Acted a few months back at the end of the school year, you were angry, and for the life of you, you couldn't calm down.


All you know is that your life is terrible, and despite the several medications that you've tried, it's not getting any better. If only there was some magic pill, right?


Well, maybe there is. Maybe you just haven't found it yet.


Several weeks go by, and you are prescribed a new medicine, as its been proven that the other ones weren't working for you. You take it at bed time, and half way through the night during your usual arguments online and video gaming, you realize something isn't right.


You're tired, but restless. Gradually, intrusive thoughts of suicide creep over your mind, like a choke hold. You suddenly have the urge to listen to "Suicidal Thoughts" by Notorious B.I.G. You have no idea why, maybe it was your mind trying to tell you "something's wrong"


After a while, you try to go to bed. As soon as you try to sleep, the image of you hanging yourself jolts you awake as your neck is snapped by the rope.


Being 14, you really don't have anything to do but to rush downstairs, wake your mother and ask her to call your Psychiatrist later.


You sit on the couch in the living room, watching TV, sometimes pacing around anxiously. Eventually, your family wakes up, and your Mother calls your doctor. The phone connects to a calling center, and they call your doc and tell them that you need to talk to them.


Eventually, your doctor calls and after a long conversation with you and your parent, she puts you on your old meds. Enough to knock you out.


You pace around, tired but restless. Your brother suggests that you need to calm down and lay down, but that seems impossible. Your mother offers to stay home, but you tell her that she can go.


Eventually, you text your ex-girlfriend, you two had a falling out but decided to be friends later. You ask her to text you later and you lay down on the couch, and fall asleep as if you were sedated.


Eventually, her text wakes you up and she asks "What's wrong?" You spill your guts out, and her responses were not calm nor worried, but merely dismissive.


You realize she doesn't care, and just go back to sleep, even worse than before.


Somewhat based off a RL experience.


No, this isn't a novel. I just wanted to post this somewhere. Something I just wrote up out of boredom.

Feedback?

(I know the structure is pretty fucked, but w/e.)

>>5448772
>>5448758
This is me again. I gotta go to sleep, it's almost 1am. Will keep this thread open to read your reply in thei morning if you post one. Good luck with everything bror

I passed 50 000 words a few days ago, and I'm pretty much done. The book is mainly composed of scenes occurring in the protagonist's imagination, meaning there isn't a lot of coherence between them, so I've no real idea how to end the book except with some sort of particularly climactic fantasy. It's a hassle, but I'm getting somewhere.

>>5448985
end it with the beggining.

just copy paste and bam 2deep4u

>>5448985

So if they're occurring in the protagonist's mind, what is the protagonist doing in reality? Is he daydreaming in school? Are they a non-consecutive series of fantasies occurring throughout his life, perhaps something he withdraws into when his parents are arguing? Perhaps it's as simple as he was in a coma or something, I dunno. If you can figure out what your protagonist is doing, you may be able to knit an ending together from there

>>5449046
The first sentence is, roughly translated: "This can't have been how it happened." I would get laughed out of /lit/ if I did something as obvious as reusing it as a last line.

>>5449073
Yeah, that's what I'm trying at the moment. For the record, he's locked himself into his apartment to get drunk for days on end, . The proposed ending there is him doing something to show that his isolation is over (taking down the garbage bag covering the window, for now), but whatever I do it seems kind of anticlimactic.

>>5448985
Sit on it for awhile and start editing. Polish the prose. Made sure there's thematic unity between the episodes. As you refine the material a climax will come to you.

>>5449108

I'm going to assume that he's drinking himself into a stupor because something has occurred that he either wants to obliterate from his memory, or he is staving off depression and suicide with the booze. Or, you know, he just wants to an hero but can't bring himself to do it. He's trying to find liquid courage, but comes up short, yes?

If this is the case, then perhaps taking down the garbage bag is anticlimactic. But, life is like that. When someone decides to live for another day, there's no fanfare, there's no big realization like there is in a movie. So perhaps having that sort of ending is alright, in my opinion

>>5448039
In book 2 when the unicorns show up, Sophia will draw the attentions of one of the a shy but handsome unicorn that will fall in love with her, she of course will lead him on, only to ultimately friendzone. she stays with Zane, but the unicorn will be fine with it because all he really wants is for her to be happy.


Can I have my million dollar franchise now?

>>5449108
>I would get laughed out of /lit/ if I did something as obvious as reusing it as a last line.

why are you appealing to us? Youd get laughed at regardless in one form or another.

>>5449125
> live for another day, there's no fanfare

i like this. draw it out like hes going to an hero, then instead turn it around into him staring off at the dull drab street below and watching the grey clouds roll on another day. that would be neat. just have it end in melancholy and have the reader feel empty, just like the character.

>>5449126
how about we all ghost write it and spend all of the money on something trite and useless.

>>5447822
Every novel at around 70 percent, Neil Gaiman goes to his editor and says he wants to scrap the whole thing because it's shit. Every novel. Like clockwork. Writers are self-concious and hard on themselves. Just finish it and let it sit

>>5448179
so game of thrones?

>>5449263

That is actually pretty good advice. I'm probably going to get back to it tomorrow once I think on where the story is going to go next. Thank you

>>5448453
I actually did pay for a 4chan ad campaign

86,000 views and 600 clicks
0 sales

>>5449300
What do you have so far?

>>5448055
north star plz go

>>5449346

Well, the protagonist and his companion are on a quest to obtain this certain ore so they can forge a weapon that will be capable of taking on the big bad of the book. Along the way they come across the protagonist's old arch-nemesis, as well as protag's ex-wife who had left him for the nemesis. Long story short, they fight, but in the chaos the ex-wife is killed by the nemesis and the protag ends up being defeated. Companion steps up and sends nemesis packing, they bury the wife and continue, ending up in the acid pits that are situated just outside of the mountains where they can find the ore.

The problem is, I am not exactly sure what should happen while they travel through the acid pits. I had originally intended for their first incursion into the pits to be without incident, then after they retrieve the ore and fight through the mines I was going to have the nemesis return and meet his end in the acid pits.

Now, though, I think the nemesis has potential to be a recurring villain rather than a stepping stone to the more dangerous dudes, so I'm not entirely sure where to go with that, either.

My book is a collection of short stories I wrote while in Michigan's shittiest mental institution.
Someone suggested that I publish it, so I did, not thinking anyone would read it.
Effectually, I was right.
Its called Lungwritur and you can get it on Amazon.

Currently work shopping a psychological melodrama about the life of a man who came into consciousness at the moment of his circumcision.

>>5449326
moot the joot liar

>>5448129
>>5448136

Aye mang, I'm back from work. Check this out if you want to read a chapter from it - >>5447686


>>5447722
Danke mang, I really appreciate the feedback. Most of what I get from friends are things like 'Oh yeah, that was good, but you used this word twice', or they'll give me some incredibly vague criticism. I'll be taking these critiques and using them. If you'd ever be down to critique some other chapters, that'd be great.

Also, is the movie you mentioned We Were Soldiers, with Mel Gibson?

>>5449326
>I actually did pay for a 4chan ad campaign
holy shit son. don't you know everyone uses adblock AND pirates stuff here?
how much did that cost you?

>>5447093
Only just started the other day. Got an extensive outline and about 1500 words into the first chapter.
I'm taking too many classes this semester and it's really hard to find the time to be able to just sit down and get some quality writing done.

>>5449579
20 bucks

>>5447244
>200 page
>novella

lol okay dum fuck

>>5447876
I think I'll do this. Yes, I'll print it out, once I'm finished with it, and bury it in a time capsule, telling no one about it.
Fifty, a hundred, maybe even a thousand years later, someone, if there's anyone left at all, may dig it up, and have a glimpse at the art created by a man long dead. I'm assuming it'll be a construction worker, who'll look at it for about five minutes, and throw it away.
Behold, my legacy.

>>5449618
Or it'll be a migrant worker that can't read any english.

I wrote a short story the other day, but I think I'm going to expand upon it and write a novella. If anyone cares to read :

http://pastebin.com/SKqVrqmk

>>5447858
please don't be bating, this is exactly the kind of shit middle school girls buy the hell out of at scholastic book fairs

>>5449704

I took the time to read it. Man, I gotta say you need to run through and polish this up, there's spelling errors everywhere and your flow feels stunted, IMO.

I do like the premise, to me it feels as though you're trying to express the themes of feeling trapped in a small religious town (Obvious, right?) but there's no real pacing. Everything happens so quickly. One moment Dante's throwing himself onto his bed at home, and in the very next sentence he's suddenly in the middle of Boston hassling women, only to fall asleep and end up back in Sherwood? Then at the end when the nun has sex with him, then accuses him of rape, it feels as though she has no reason to do so other than malice. Why does the nun accuse him of rape? Is it because she has heard his parents return home, and, seeing no way to escape the situation without tarnishing her reputation around town, decides to accuse Dante of holding her against her will?

It just needs some polishing to become a jewel, is all.

A publisher bit so now I have a deadline. I lied and said I had a lot more than I really did when all I had is the "excerpt" my agent sent them. I guess now I have to write instead of just sitting around stressing over not writing.

>>5447093

Fuck you you know it's coming along terribly.

>>5449283
no. i havent read much of it but from what ive seen its mostly just scheming with less emphasis on actual fantasy.

I'd create my own races and i'd like it to contain surrealist elements.

>>5449795
Thank you, I probably should have edited it, it was the product of an hour or two of non stop writing, free writing or some stupid shit. Thanks for the critique, I've got work to do now at least.

>implying i want to write a novel
art twine games masterrace

>>5449201
Aid to 3rd world countries?

>>5449348
>not reading the whole thing

>>5447093

Quite well. I've been writing it for a month now. Ideas had been floating in my head for years. It's a smooth writing. I think it will be finished in a month or so.

>>5449801
Lol this is me last year. I eventually scrapped it and I'm real glad I did despite everything

>>5449326
600 clicks and 0 sales for $20 is not that great. Which board was the ad? Can you post a link to your book?

>>5447694
>>5447698

Fucking dire.

>>5447093
The most I've ever wrote for one story was around 60 or 70 pages. I can't sit and focus for too long on one thing. I don't know why. Maybe I have ADD or something.

>>5451017
>dire
>adj. dir·er, dir·est
>1. Warning of or having dreadful or terrible consequences; calamitous: a dire economic forecast; dire threats.
>2. Urgent; desperate

wut

It's finally happening. I started writing this story in autumn of 2011 I think, and I'm so close to done. The first half is finished, the second half has two chapters that still need some serious work and a few others that need tweaking, but then I'll finally be done.

It's only going to be about 40k words, but fuck it that will make it the longest thing I've ever written, and the only proper story I've fully edited and polished until it's the best I feel it can be.

I feel like finishing this will launch me into being able to work on bigger, better stories that I've been thinking about for years. Here's hoping.

>>5451050
>40k words
Hey, it's 10k longer than Animal Farm.

>>5451050
Congrats man, make sure you finish it.

>>5450623
I think the joke is that the book is this

litwritesabook.com

>>5451021

Desperate as in a 'desperate attempt'?

>>5451086
Are you asking me?

>>5451065
t-t-thanks for noticing the ad

I have one sentence written in my diary, that's it.

I'm debating adding a character to the story.

It's a story about a transgendered mtf living in a hyper-conservative baptist gated community in suburban Texas. The protagonist is a Jesus freak girl who loves god and hates faggots/mexicans/niggers. The protag pushes him away, but then has a change of heart and returns to help him. However, she discovers that the trans girl has a new friend; a tumblr whale who's there to make sure the protagonist checks her priveledges.

It's obviously going to be a big lambasting of a certain group of people involved in the trans acceptance discussion. I'm wondering if this isn't commercial suicide for the novel, though, since I risk alienating a large part (no pun intended) of the target audience. What I HOPE for is that everyone will buy the book and then laugh at the character and say "he ain't talkin' about me". Part of that is making the tumblrina so clown like that nobody could possibly identify with her, but that might just make it worse.

>>5451086
There needs to be fear for something to be dire.

>>5451117
Fuck this idea.

Wonderfully! Thank you for asking. It's now completed at 70k and I already have an agent who wants the full script.

Good luck to all you guys

>>5447093
Done last week.

Now I'm in the phase when I bask in the feeling of "mission accomplished" and start to fantasize about the next.
Probably going to start writing it in a few weeks.

>>5451117
You've already managed to offend me and this is the briefest of outlines. This will never be published. I can't believe that you're seriously considering writing 'I h8 tumblr; the novel'.

>>5451148
Well done!

>>5451144
>>5451313

Thank you for this wonderful feedback. Thought provoking stuff.

>>5451396
>Thought provoking stuff.

Like your novel you mean?

>>5451117
if I took a shit right now, scooped it directly from the toilet with my palms, and jammed it into my urethra with all the bits of corn and carrot, it would have more artistic integrity than your story.

>>5451090
I appreciated it, anon. The world needs to know that /lit/ and krautchan collectively wrote a book together and made a little baby.

>>5449618
>>5449648
you could end the story now and have that be the ending. anons life was futile now and in the future

>>5451148
Congrats!
What did you do after finishing? Some marketing, sending to agents? Didi you already have conenctions?

I have a whole idea for my novel. I know how to start it and how to finish it. I know the kind of themes I want to put on it and what kind of characters I want to introduce. But I don't know how to develop the ideas long enough to make for a manuscript with a decent length. I'm struggling with that right now.

I self-published it last week. Now I'm never writing again.

>>5447093
Fuck you, that's how it's coming along

It's trickier than I anticipated.

My story has two interweaving timelines. At first I tried to write it normally, chapter by chapter, but soon I realized I lost the flow between the parts, so I had to do it over from scratch, first timeline A only and then timeline B.
It's got a lot of discussion on politics and the human nature, but I'm kinda scared the readers will only find my contemplation juvenile.

>>5455074
>but I'm kinda scared the readers will only find my contemplation juvenile.
It doesn't matter if the way you write makes it fun to read. You know, Harry potter for example, I don't think it's the greatest story or mind-blowing concept, but she wrote it in a way that people enjoy reading it.

>>5453650
My advice? Don't think about ideas, think about plot points.

Every novel has themes and ideas, but you can't just write those out. To write the story you need to know what *happens*. Knowing the beginning and end is a great start, but do you know what happens in the middle? That (in my experience) is always the hardest part. Figure out the major things that have to happen, and then figure out how to link those events together. And if you struggle a bit with the second bit (I always do), then fuck it. Just start writing.

Honestly, that's probably the most important thing. Try and figure out what needs to happen first, but if you can't just say 'fuck it', go balls to the wall and start writing. Maybe you';; charge through the book and work out everything just fine as you go along. Maybe you'll write the first chapter and hit a major roadblock because you realise you didn't think through what happens next. That's fine, just go back to the drawing-board, plan some more, and carry on.

TL;DR having ideas is great, but not worth much. Work out your plot as best as you can, but even if you can't, just try and write the fucking thing

>>5455159

That might be a sufficient attitude if your only intention is to sell. But I can't contend myself with simply entertainingly narrated tripe. That's just selling away your dignity as an author. I want to actually make my reader stop and provoke them to think about things a little. If I can't do that, I'd consider to have failed, even if it became a bestseller and sold a million copies.

I'm already stuck on chapter 2. Chapter 1 focused on the main character while remaining quite vague. I wrote a clear plan for the overall story that I was to split into 3 main parts or acts. Problem is I hadn't written any other characters, nor had I written a basic overview of what would happen in each chapter. So I started the first chapter with no concrete plans for it and I decided that my main character was to attend a dinner party which wasn't as easy as I would have liked but it turned out quite well.

For chapter 2 and a few others I wanted to delve into the character's past to shed some light on why he might act the way he does in the present, either as a flashback or a narration, but I really need to sit down and plan out all the chapters for the first act.

Either way I'm pretty happy with the story and the themes I'll be exploring.

Annoyingly I keep coming up with ideas for another novel, but I really don't want to have two on the go/forget about this one.

>>5455377
If you regret your opinions you can always make another book and try to fix it, like Huxley did with The Island.

>>5455478

>write a politically charged novel
>it's a success
>have a change of heart
>realize what a huge error you have made
>write another novel
>the publisher doesn't want it
>you will be forever known as a passionate supporter of some fucked-up ideology that you actually hate

>>5455377
Oh, okay, I understand. Then, you can of course not come up with some juvenile thoughts.
What's the theme/topic of your book?

>>5455893

Through parallels between an ancient kingdom and a near-future society, I attempt to describe how history goes in cycles and how human life stays largely the same despite the passage of time.
But is the human nature a force like fate, that will remain unchanged no matter what we do and dictate all our actions, or can exceptional individuals rise above themselves to change the course of history through principle and effort?

If readers find my arguments for and against the matter as old and cliched, then the story as a whole would probably fall apart.

>>5455377

bro you have no dignity as an author, you're a nobody

I'm starting to get ideas.
Would you guys read a short (around 200 pages) story about absurdism in a fictional mexican island's upper-class society?

>>5455917
>But is the human nature a force like fate
This sounds icky, otherwise pretty cool

>>5455923

Do you see yourself as a nobody? I trust no. If you work in a creative field, you owe it to yourself to stay true to your standards and not go by the lowest common denominator.

I'm really enjoying writing it, but I'm afraid it's not going to be complete if I don't write parts I enjoy. I can't seem to focus on progressing the story from the earliest point. I'm more focused on parts that I feel are more interesting. Should I continue to write like this until I decided I've come up with enough well-written plot points and go on to connect them all, or should I force myself to write the story in its chronological order?

>>5455934

Not that guy but what's icky about it? Plenty of people have figured over the years that humans seem to lack freedom in some sense, that they're constrained by some element of their natures. Heraclitus says character is fate.

>>5455928
yeah, sounds promising, but I wouldn't read a book just based on one sentence about the content

>>5456196
Nah, it's not the idea, just words like "fate" sound so, sooo

>>5455928
I wouldn't

>>5456192
Why is order being more important than quality in you mind?

>>5447093
I'm writing about the genocide of the Canaanites from the perspective of one of the pagan gods whose idols and people were destroyed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDAaevTq51I

Is this objectively a better piece of art than anything anyone on /lit/ will ever create?

>>5456323
You have no idea how racist the critics will call you when the inevitable antisemitism rears its head. Not sure what publisher would risk that unless you're very very careful.

I wrote a really short and terrible first draft about 10 years ago and I've been stuck on the first 3 chapters ever since. My imagination his taken a nose dive into nope land and I've got writer's block so bad that It's led me into depression. So basically, feels bad man.