/lit/ - Literature

You have potential.

This . . . is . . .

GOLD

>>526231

I have the first chapter done as well, but I'm not sure if the world is ready for it yet.

i hate this cormac macarthy bullshit

>>526257
>macarthy

>>526257

Maybe, but my work is much more prestigious. His work is lacking in prestige.

did he write that movie prestige? about wolverine fighting batman with magic?

>Robo-Mesopotamia
Stopped reading there, genre fiction blows

>>526298
give it a chance, man.
it will change your life forever.

>>526293
Yeah you are way better than McCarthy. Actually you might even surpass Nicholas Sparks. But, that maybe too steep of an order.

>>526298

Pretentious and juvenile analysis. My readership would do well without you. I'm sure you can extract entertainment better suited for your intellect by thumbing through a book of carpet samples.

>>526296

I wouldn't think so. Prestige is not even in McCarthy's vocabulary. Even if the very word itself hopped into one of McCarthy's many unread thesauruses.

>>526314

Thank you. It's a painfully obvious truth, but thank you anyway.

show don't tell. :)

pretty terrible

>Robo-Mesopotamia is the capital of Future Earth, the name given to describe Earth's state in the future.

>>526225
>>526231
>>526233
>>526237

not samefag AT ALL

>>526225
OP, I *need* to know how Darhyakc figures in this!

>>526394

I'm unfamiliar with this term. Is it a Proust writing?

>>526446
No, no. Dererrk.

>>526459

Hmm. A Google search yielded no results. I'm guessing he's a reclusive writer, and thus very good. If you could provide me with some of his writings or texts, I would be very appreciative.

>>526471
He's a character. Dhyra'.

MOAR

>>526222
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Because I love you, /lit/. Chapter 1:

The wrath of a cybernetic angel of death is never a clean sight. Among the slaughtered hovercycle gang were many gum and condom wrappers, proving that even in the future our environment isn't safe.

"Damn."

"It's a damn, hard night" Captain Smith said while lighting a cigarette.

"A damn, long, hard night" Agent Jones said, entering the crime scene.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Agent Jones?" Captain Smith asked, unpleasantly surprised by the shady agent's presence.

"You small-town city cops and your ignorance. Shouldn't you know your superiors by now?" Jones asked in a condescending, dickish tone.

Captain Smith, at a loss for words, responded by asking "Where's your ID, tough guy? You got a bagde?" He tossed his cigarette to the ground. Agent Jones walked ahead of the Captain, staring down the bodies of the deceased gang of thugs.

"Hey," the Captain quips. "What the hell? Are you listening?"

"I've seen this before," Agent Jones said to himself, ignoring the Captain. "It looks like our friends here were *murdered*."

>>526516

>>526516
oh i get it, you're being funny

"Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?" the Captain asked impatiently.

Agent Jones pulled a laser pen and aimed it at one of the corpses. The victim's leather jacket reflected the cool, blue light. Then the jacket looked cool. "Here," Jones said as he clicked the pen. "This is how we do things in R.D.C."

"R.D.C...?" Smith thought to himself.

The pen's light turned from a sterile blue to a burning red. Quite burning, in fact, as the laser cut through the jacket. With a few calm movements of his wrist, Jones burned off the jacket of the victim, revealing a jacked male physique once covered by a jacket. Continuing to cut away with the pen, the agent started to cut open the body of the murdered thug.

"Hey, now you're going to-"

Smith was interrupted by Jones. He raised his free hand and shoved it in the Captain's face. In Jones' hand was a virtua badge, a futuristic badge with a hologram image showing a full 3d portrait of Jones, various scrolling text with information about the agent's credentials, and a rocket launcher.

"Agent Jones?!" A shocked Captain Smith asked/exclaimed. "*The* Agent Jones?"

>>526524
right as always, Dr. Obvious

>>526529
wait, didn't captain smith already know who agent jones was

"Satisfied? Please step aside. I'm performing a field autopsy," Jones said, still focusing his laser pen on the carved-up corpse.

"A field autopsy? Is that necessary?" Smith asked. "Shouldn't we move these bodies first."

Jones was quick to defend himself. "In the time it would take to move these bodies, we'll have several more bodies like these show up. We can't let this murderer roam around. If you want to do your job right, then you have to do it fast."

"Wow." Smith was taken by this radical approach. "You really don't do things by the book, huh?"

"Sir," Jones responded. "This is the digital future. I haven't had to read any books in a long time."

***End of preview***

Thoughts? Insights? Praise?

>It was a dark AND stormy AND grim AND hardcore night.
>The air was thick with a vague sense of EROTICISM(wat).
>And she's the only bad guy because she killed the other bad guys. All by herself. In one night.
>Pretty poor adjective choice in general.
I think we've found the new Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
Learn better grammar, grab a thesaurus, and come up with good ideas for plot details and we'll talk.
Chainsaw fingers, though. Really?

>>526536
1. read this:
http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/poetry/2010/04/12/100412po_poem_greenbaum

2. make your crap as terrible as that

3. PROFIT

>>526536 Thoughts? Insights? Praise?

All of the above, in one word: step aside Takeshi Kovacs, there's a new action hero or something in futuretown.

>>526534

It's foreshadowing.

>>526543

You know it.

Is it meant to be awesome, but in a retarded way?

Because if so, mission accomplished.

Add a bit more of the needless but oh-so intriguing detail and you'll be James Joyce.

>>526564
genuine retard writers deserve more respect than people pretending to write like retards. like that crazy christian guy who draws sonic the hedgehog comics about his slutty girlfriend

>>526542

I swear, The New Yorker really publishes some fucking awful stories from time to time.

For instance-

http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/features/2010/03/15/100315fi_fiction_means

>>526575

James Joyce can lick my taint. Or he could have, you know, before the opportunity expired in 1941. When he expired.

James Joyce is fucking dead.

>>526591
He's alive!!!!

>>526593

Well, shit. He'd better get to work then and do what he does best.

The taint-licking, I mean.

>>526603
write some taint-licking fiction. it "tain't" as easy as it looks.

>>526613

The later chapters of my book include several paragraphs of anilingus. Your wordplay impresses me. You might be in the running for someone who could proofread my work.

Kidding, unfortunately. My work is infallible.

>>526625
no the whole thing needs to be about taint licking. intentionally shitty futurecop stories are dime-a-dozen throwaway futurama jokes. no one has yet made magnum opus of taint licking.

>>526603

Prologue is gold. I feel like... you wrote that hilarious juggled little gem of prose and then you wanted to capitalize on it. But you didn't write a universe: you wrote a joke. And then you wrote genre-specific humor in the universe of a joke.

>>526646

At last, an accurate depiction of James Joyce. Took long enough...

>>526639

Futurecops are vital to the story. Since the story is vital to the literary world, futurecops are by extension vital to the world.

See, there's already a real world connection. It's deep and profound on many levels.

But yes, I will write more about taint-licking.

fucking awesome

The Poop that Took a Pee was a bit better. But this is OK.

This thread is still up here? I guess my work speaks for itself. That's to say, my work is saying "read me, I'm bitchin'."

OP istrying way to hard

Why does the capital of earth have small town cops?

>>527865

It's foreshadowing.

It has potential, but like someone ITT already said, you're trying too hard. Be more subtle.

Just like the opening of that book of Gibson's where this boy witnesses his father and some other crooks take on a guy with a knife who kills them all and then badassedly walks away, being a German assassin or some shit.

>>526536
It's looking great so far. POST MOAR.