/lit/ - Literature

I agree with you OP

>>5257380
I think there's a bold line between tripe like "Be Happier in 90 Days" and books that seek to empower the reader. It's just a big fucking different, and I get tired of seeing people trash the entire genre without noting the benefits. A book like The Warrior Ethos is technically self-help, but it's nothing like the bullshit you linked in the OP.

In either case you're right, authors that try to claim to have the formula on how to live life should be ignored. For me, the entire purpose is to take away what you like and throw out the rest. Live life and build your own formula.

I personally like to read self help but most are garbage.

Some are good though and do have a nice message. I enjoyed Talent is Overrated, Think and Grow Rich, and The Dip.

Self-help is fucking awesome. I get all kinds of little ideas from it that help me cope with my insanity. There is that segment of it that concentrates on sugar-coated advice, but also there is a great deal of it that is written by legitimate psychologists and is very helpful. Just read the ones written by real psychologists or close to that (maybe religious figures too) and not the business ones and the motivational bullsshit

>>5257410
My problem with most self help is that they read like a really elaborate product pitch, carefully planned so you will buy an assortment of products and to-go life philosophies (that will turn make you buy even more products).

they read like a consumer bait that teaches you improvement so you can consume and produce even more, shaping you into a extra ordinary cog for some grand profitable system

>>5257410
This is barely connected, but "The Warrior Ethos" reminded me of this comic which talks about willpower.

Enjoy I guess, I just found it stimulating.

>tfw you hold your own hand in bed
>tfw you rub your thumb in circles against the back of your other hand
>tfw you whisper to yourself in a girly voice and answer in a gruff, quiet voice telling yourself you're too tired to talk
>tfw you make feminine sighing noises while stroking your chest hair as though a girl is doing it and is real content being there with you
>tfw you tuck your dick between your legs and rub yourself as though you have a vagina and making moaning noises but then get hard and can't do it any more
>tfw you tried tonging your armpit to see if it would be like a vagina
>tfw you make out with your upper arm at least once a week and sometimes leave a lovebite
>tfw you have a piss fetish but no gf so you have to lay down and piss over yourself in the shower
>tfw your mom makes progressively deluiosnal statements about your good looks until you realize she's just trying to instil confidence
>tfw blood in my semen again

>>5257481
It's not your fault.
Hey...it's not your fault.

>>5257471

>>5257511

>>5257518
The end

I look at the man linked in the OP, he is rich, a published author, travels a lot, speaks several languages, has a large following, and seems to enjoy life as he sees fit.

He is , as many would say, living his life to the "fullest". So why does it feel like it's all plastic?

Even looking at myself, someone who shares many of the aspirations and habits he has, it all feels so fake? Like I'm not truly enjoying or doing what I want because I really wanted to but rather because I was coaxed by some external factor into believing this is the ideal way to live?

It feels like I'm projecting a ton here, at the same time that it does not

>>5257543
life is inherently meaningless.

>>5257543
All is vain, anon.

>>5257543
Welcome to modern, commercial, American "culture".

It feels fake because it is fake; not the necessary product of the soul, but the needless product of the capital.

>>5257571
How do I "escape" it?

I am precisely the type of consumer self help tries to reach: I despise this culture, yet I so closely follow it. I go to the gym, I study several languages, I consume spirituality I do not truly believe in, instead I wear all those things like an ornament to make myself closer to what a "Man" is.

The way I see it, I can either conform and hope to achieve what they are selling me, so one day I can sell it to some poor fool and thus make myself whole or I can become lost in a vortex of doubt and meaningless search

>>5257585

>How do I "escape" it?

Just take the Iron Pill, mate.

>>5257585
By sitting down and taking stock.

What is important to you? Why are these things important to you?

Who are you?

>>5257585
The escape comes from the inside (from what you truly believe, who you want to be, what you want to bring to the world), not from the outside (what the world believes about you, wants for you, can bring to you).

Gym, languages, even spirituality are only means: what you're looking for is an end, and no one can teach you what *your* own end is.

>>5257599
this is precisely what I seek to escape, this modern "übermensch" image that is promoted.

>>5257616
S-stay völkisch, mate

>>5257635
what the fuck is that all about

>>5257380
The only self help anyone needs is Nietzsche

>>5257668
>he doesn't know about the pills of enlightenment

It's like you don't even browse /pol/

>>5257611

But the thing is if I followed what I wanted then I would just masturbate and drink beer all day. My reality would be lawless. I need some kind of guide or inspiration for something. Now that I think about it self help is really no different than a kind of religion.

>>5257674
Reading Zarathoustra in a castle in Quiberon near the sea with the wind in my face as changed everything for me.

>>5257687
Dig deep inside yourself, there's other things than beer and masturbation in it

>>5257611
but aren't those means sold as the end? I'm trying to become the image of a hyper intelligent body builder, isn't that just an "advanced" stage of the continuous following of these means? In this stage I would be seen as successful but only because this is the consequence of having followed the means for so long

>>5257687
Most people use women as a leverage for this. What would you do, without even thinking twice about it, to impress women?

>>5257692
Kenavo bro.

>>5257682
This is some funny shit and nice stick

>>5257712
G-goodbye to you too

>>5257710
The end is not showing off your craft in a perfected form, but what you want to bring to the world with your craft.
Like a good writer knows how to deliver successful, witty books, but his end isn't just "to be successful and witty" - his end would rather consist in bringing more beauty to the world, a special kind of beauty he's the only one to produce, and that's why he's so successful, that's why he still keeps on writing.

>>5257718
That's the only breton word I know, sorry :(

>>5257712
Well the thing is I have a girlfriend and we have been dating for a year and a half. Many of the habits and positive thinking I used to gain the confidence to date her have faded. But I feel like I was at my best when I was doing and thinking that way. I was drinking less, I felt confident, worked out every other day, ate healthy, etc.

I feel like maybe if I broke up with her, I could gain that confidence and positive habits I once had, but it's probably a foolish thought. I don't know why after getting a girlfriend my drive has just diminished.

>>5257431
yeah. quite often you'll feel great reading self help but once you've finished the book, you're still the same. And you think, well if I just read that guy's other book, it'll really cement the changes in me, its messed up.

>>5257503
*SOB* OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY

>>5257753

You won't keep your girlfriend if you stagnate, or worst, degenerate, and there's your motivation. Part of the reason people fall in love, in young people specifically, is the promise they show as people. If you don't continue to follow the arc you show yourself on in the early part of the relationship, you stop being the person they loved and wanted to love. You end up just being somebody that shares an intimate history.

You also have to fight the boredom that comes with habit by finding things to do together that are exciting, or better, engaging. Dates are exciting, projects, engaging.

>>5257692
Damn right it did.

Nietzsche woke me up without even having read Zarathustra.

Such a powerful man, one of the few I would go gay for.
[Spoiler]Topping only tho no homo[/spoiler]

>>5257780
I fucked it up

Fucking tablets

>>5257543
>he is rich, a published author, travels a lot, speaks several languages, has a large following, and seems to enjoy life as he sees fit.
>being this much of a tryhard normalfag loser

If he was a penniless divorced alcoholic who shot himself after failing to find a publisher for his novella maybe I'd be a little more impressed

>>5257753
Some women are fuel for you, they give you the courage to push you further and further in life. As the fuel is produced by your own energy, it's a win-win situation.

Other women aren't fuel for you, but you're rather fuel for them, and they leave you after all the liquid is gone, giving nothing in return: no enthusiasm, no appreciation, no ambition, no will to do better.

Pairing with the right woman makes the great man, pairing with the wrong woman makes the mere loser.

>>5257775

Thank you for your insight.
I also think it is hard in my situation because we are actually in an LDR. But you're right. I need to keep the motivation even if we can only see each other once or twice a month.

>>5257815

She does tell me she does feel like she has grown since dating me. She quit her old part time job and is now pursuing something in her field she studied in graduate school. While I feel like I have gone in quite the opposite direction. I wonder why?

>>5257791
But isn't your example just a idealization of the tragic? The "tryhard" as you call it, is by the average western standard a success, so why isn't he something to be impressed of?

>>5257818
>LDR

Kek, quit immediately or you will stagnate forever, or maybe, if you're lucky, you'll end unhappy because "she can't cope with the distance anymore" after two or three useless years.

Been there, that's not even real life, you learn and live more in three months of normal relationship than in five years of LDR.

No wonder you can't feel like a man anymore.

>>5257842
You're feeding her but she's not feeding you, it's a losing match for you.

It's very easy to detect, even in the first dates, when a woman has a positive effect on you (i.e. she gives you motivation to do things that count for you) or a negative effect (i.e. you're giving up everything to channel all your energies towards her, with no discernible reward other than her mildly agreeable presence, and less and less so).

>>5257859

Well the thing is with this new job she has the chance to move closer to me, but I don't think that is set in stone. I recently did talk to her about my issues, but she didn't know how to answer.

I should just end it. She is coming to stay over near the end of this month. I am thinking about discussing it with her.

>>5257899
Before ending it, meet other women and see if your charm still operates, have one or two opportunities with new ladies, and you'll make a better decision there. Is it an error to go further with them? Or were you just trapped into the illusion of a comfortable, but ill-fitting relationship with your LDR?

I feel it will be the second result, but see by yourself.

>>5257940

Well the thing is I live in Japan actually. So it isn't as easy to just meet a woman. They have very different ways of doing things. I met my current girlfriend on a dating site. And I think she also has friends on these sites so I can't just register again without her thinking whats up.

I did try what you described only once though. She was an older woman and she was very interested in me and having sex. As was I, but meeting her in person she was so stupid. I couldn't go through with it.

I gave her advice for her problems but she ignored it. After it I did feel bad I had gone on a date while dating my current girlfriend. But it did give me some perspective. Maybe I'm not used to this kind of peace? I grew up in a family where they fought a lot and eventually divorced.

the reason I find these types of books useless is because they assume anyone can just willfully change their disposition and outlook. reading or hearing "YOLO" sentiments bashed into your brain every day isn't going to suddenly make you change if your disposition is the complete antithesis to that lifestyle.

for example I used to read a bunch of the Greek stoics, and the whole time I just thought to myself that it was an interesting and noble way of going about things, but that I have no idea how to go about making my thought process similar to what they'd written.

I used to worry all the time what people thought of me. Then I read this.
http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fuck/

I was really impressed and gave other types of blogs a try. Then I moved onto books and then I moved onto books related to my hobbies. Now that I think about it, it's how I got into reading books. Not all motivation/self help is all that bad.

>>5257959
Try the "real world" instead. Dating sites, long distance relationships, social networks... all fake hopes and sterile means.

A peace that brings you down is like losing a war, and telling to yourself: "At least I've got peace now, still better than war!"

In relationships not really based on love (but rather on custom, absence of choice, false hopes, etc.), you always have a winner and a loser. It looks like you're the loser for now, but if you can end the relationship and learn a valuable lesson out of it, and find the energy to do new things out of it, you'll be the winner.

Of course, when a relationship is based on healthy love, there are only winners. But if you could date the woman of your choice, any single woman on earth, just like this, right now, would you still stay with your current LDR? If you say no, you're not "winning" this relationship; you're only losing your time, your youth, your energy.

>>5257481
If this is a pasta, I swear...

>>5257481
what the fuck

>>5257988
Not giving a fuck is easy when you realize all human judgment is invalid.

>>5257781
yeah it looks like you accidentally included some homosexual fantasy about Fredrich Nietzsche in your post

>>5257518
Seriously though, how do I find willpower? Should I just join the military and have some authority figure beat it into me? I don't really want to kill a bunch of brown people I've never met though

>>5257481

i actually do the first two sometimes :(

>>5258062

You are right. I just remembered that some of my early thoughts of her was she lacked ambition but then she must have sucked it off of me. Because now I lack that very ambition.

Just read pic related. Anyone else pick it up? It's an attempt to guide people through shame, but it's just a shitty concept-based life plan: Love yourself > Satisfy need for love and belonging > Profit

I was really disappointed. People told me this wasn't like the others.

>>5258445
and this is what makes self help so horrid, it doesn't want to help you in your well being as an individual, it merely seeks to shape you into a cog that will fit a greater machine

self-help literature=shit

>>5257585
You're fine, quit whining. The fact that you recognize these things is almost the entirety of the battle. Hold them in mind

there is literally no intention to help anyone with self help books. not a single one. the sole purpose is to make money for authors/publishers in the most shameless way.

every self-help book is just filled with feelgoodisms and quotes

lol /lit/ is pretty retarded when it comes to self-help. just vaguely accuse the author of profiting or not being 'scientific' and then post about how great meditations is and how carnegie, watts are shit. lmao

>>5257543

Oh lawd, this so much, I was probably going to make a topic about this someday. It's like these people are soulless aliens who pick hobbies that seem "fulfilling" or "meaningful".

The reason I suddenly dislike this is because I'm a uni student that will graduate in 2015 and I'm under pressure to fill my CV with " meaningful" extracurriculars.

If I go to the gym on my own 4 times a week it barely means shit. If I go 3 times as part of a weightlifting club then it is great.

Obviously this is used as a proxy for social skills and normalfaggotry but I really worry that people drink the koolaid. Its hard to tell with business or corporate plebs. You look at their packed LinkedIn accounts and wonder whether they do anything that isn't "fulfilling".

>>5260434
I don't know man, it feels like life becomes some sort of badge collecting game where you try to upstage everyone else with your own experiences.

And the bad part is I don't think I'm exempt from this, even if I want to

>>5257522
>>5257518
>>5257511
>>5257471
>Semantics: The Comic
>>5258149
I didn't find it until I needed it.

>>5257682
I wonder how many people on 4chan actually believe in the illuminati.

Technically philosophy got its start with self help, at least with the greeks, where it was in large part about living the good life.

It's fitting then, that the best "guide" to life is stoic philosophy.

I think the main difference between philosophical self help, and self help now is the level of analysis. Philosophical self-help analyzes the values that cause us to make the decisions we do, as well as how we decide things. Self-help now just tells you a path to the same set of values in every book. Something about productivity or whatever.

If you start off with bad values, the path to get to them, while it may be effective, won't lead you anywhere good.

>>5257973
fucking this. Nothing I read can truly change the way I feel.

>>5262622
>Life becomes some sort of badge collecting game
I want to get off Ash Ketchum's wild ride.

Tim Feriss is a notorious guru and a privileged, cynical sociopath.

On the topic of self-help, I do like Early Retirement Extreme, though. The author is a bit radical in his minimalism but he say himself you don't have to reproduce everything he do. Also, he acknowledges that it requires work.