/lit/ - Literature

Since we clearly didn't bond over literature, I'd engage him in a topic of mutual interest, and silently vow never to talk to them about books.

>>5243029
>leave immediately
>never speak to any of these people again

You can't trust magicians.

>>5243029
see if he understands War and Peace better than you do

I wonder how much these books cost. He must've spent quite some to buy all this nonesense.

say nothing and fuck her right in the pussy

>>5243029
>Working as a barista some years ago
>Old man customer approaches
>Concerned look on his face
>"I was wondering if you could help me..."
>Pulls out his wallet, I lean a little forward
>Opens wallet right under my face
>Flames burst forth.
>Jump the fuck back
>Old man scurries away with evil laugh

Fuckin' carnies

>>5243029
engage in a game of cards

>>5243121
looks like stuff you find in 2nd hand bookshops

>>5243140
Do you have a real job now?

I don't see any fucking book worth reading.

what about this one?

>>5243029
>just getting into literature
>tfw don't understand what's wrong with these books
i just bought A Happy Death, Naked Lunch, On the Road and Lolita.
A-am I on the right track /lit/?

>>5243157
They're all about magic. The implication is that having interests other than literature is creepy, I guess.

>>5243157
Yes.

All the books in the OP are about magic, that's what's wrong with them.

>>5243156
Berate him for his awful, awful taste in comics.
That shit simply costs too much to but the shitty ones.

>>5243156
a man of great taste

>>5243156
Eternal virgin.

But good that this guy is learning COBOL, job-security until the year 3000

>>5243165
Walking Dead is comparatively cheap though since it's all black and white

>>5243156

Admire him for being such a supreme gentleman.

>>5243156
>the dark tower
i enjoyed that book

>>5243156
I like it

>>5243175
He has the super-duper slipcase editions and a hardcover compendium. That shit ain't cheap.
Art went down the tubes when Moore left anyway.

>>5243156
I'm cool with it. Except the empty alcohol bottles, people who do that are douchy as fuck.

I would probably talk to him about something other than books??

>>5243160
>>5243162
>>5243084
>Magic

>>5243156
This is either a joke or art. Some artist/comedian assembled this collection only for that one picture.

I'd ask him to show me some magic tricks

>>5243156
rolls my eyes because i've seen the same taste in the same bookcase in a hundred different rooms and circlejerk with him about how bad the GoT show is to earn his trust

>walk into girls bedroom
>see this
>

>>5243276
>cum immediately
>again

>>5243276
>walk into girl's bedroom
>see that
>huge erection
>look at books more closely
>it's all by the same author
>it's.... her name, but in reverse
>pick up the first book
>it's yaoi slash-fiction featuring Picard and Kirk
>umm... ok. let's pick up a different book
>it's yaoi slash-fiction featuring crusher and data
>huh
>it's all yaoi slash-fiction featuring characters of the star trek universe
>every
>single
>book
>penis withdraws into my body
>penis stabs my stomach and my guts
>shit is introduced into my blood stream
>slowly die a painful death, everything is infected
>ah well, at least I don't have to hold an awkward conversation about all these books

>>5243276
>macbook

tip my fedora to her and leave immediately

ITT total autists

Just don't say anything and hide your powerlevel, most normies can't take it. Only talk about books if they engage you about them.

>>5243343
>walk into girl's bedroom
>see that
>huge erection
>look at books more closely
>it's all by the same author
>it's.... her name, but in reverse
>pick up the first book
>it's yaoi slash-fiction featuring Picard and Kirk
>umm... ok. let's pick up a different book
>it's yaoi slash-fiction featuring crusher and data
>huh
>it's all yaoi slash-fiction featuring characters of the star trek universe
>every
>single
>book

i was with you up until this point, but i think i would have gone in a very different direction from there on

>>5243029
'ah yes, I saw that on r/bookshelf as well'

>>5243371
oooh please write

>>5243367
Why would I read all these books if I can't brag about it?

>>5243371
>it's all yaoi slash-fiction featuring characters of the star trek universe
>every
>single
>book
>I turn around
>she has changed into a star trek uniform, with cut-out tits, two communicators as nipple piercings
>she's holding a small sound board
>i ask her what's going on, still got a good semi going on, it's waking up again on her sight
>she presses a button on her soundboard
>it's picard's voice: "prepare to be boarded"
>i sweat
>she says "i have set the phasers to stun"
>realize that the tea she gave me was drugged, sink down on her bed sheets
>my head falls on the mattress, on the same height as her ass must be at night - I can see the crusty shitstain
>black out
>after what feels like a short time, wake up from a sharp pain
>cant move
>she is violating me with what feels like a gun
>she informs me that its a phaser
>beg her to take it at least out of the box, the plastic is cutting up my guts
>she denies - it is, after all, the original box
>start to cry
>she laughs - "yes, cry like spock"
>she doesn't stop
>i pass out again
>later wake up, i'm in some kind of dungeon

and that's how I became a ferengi sex slave

>>5243405

>>5243405
never seen star trek but this is really fun. Good job

>>5243405
wet me keks

>never seen star trek

>>5243412
>>5243415
>>5243418
thank you :3

>>5243437
Disgusting

DEUTSCH

>>5243405
>>beg her to take it at least out of the box, the plastic is cutting up my guts
>>she denies - it is, after all, the original box

Kek

>>5243445
>still has his dinosaur books
How was mum's lunch today?

>>5243437
omg what a nerd

>>5243437
You're a grill aren't you.

>>5243445
>UNSER VATERLAND IN WAFFEN
>DAS DEUTSCHESTE

Are all these books just from a random thread on reddit?
Because all these shelves look like they are owned by lower middle-class white US-American computer science students (of course except that German one. That's a German computer science student)

> Visit friend from highschool today
> Haven't seen him in 5 years
> Enter his room, no homo
> Sit down having a chat
> Mentions how men are pigs and all the usual SJW bullshit
> Look over at his bookshelf
> All the typical SJW literature you'd expect

The world has changed

>>5243528
You seem to be gay for your friend

>>5243528
>Mentions how men are pigs and all the usual SJW bullshit
Seeing men advertise their feminism is the funniest fucking shit.

>>5243537
>funny
>not depressing

>>5243537
I'm the complete opposite to him in many respects, but i don't want to lose him as a friend

So i just smile and nod

>>5243544
Don't do that you shitty excuse of a friend. My best friends were severely and openly critical and inquiring about my ad hominem and arrogant brew of feminism and sjw politics and after 6 months of ABBAB (Always Be Berating And Belittling) i finally saw the light of rationality again and shed all my sjw connections (friends and whatnot)

it was a wild ride and im surprised they're still my friends. also fuck tumblr.

>>5243537
"I find it funny when a homo sapien with a penis supports egalitarianism and doesn't want to oppress a homo sapien without a penis."

>>5243560
>equality can be achieved
kek

>>5243544
>>5243560
I do think historical forces have brought about female subservience in a manner of speaking. Still, I'm not going to mention this off topic.
And saying stuff like "men are pigs" is such a simple minded way to view it, god it makes me cringe. It's like taking your mac to starbucks so people can see you writing.

>>5243560
>human beings are le sacred
fucking jingo's

>>5243560
Men > women

Fucking deal with it you butthurt cunt.

>>5243276
>books everywhere
I love it

>>5243121
Most of those look like the stuff you find for a few dollars at most in second hand shops. Also that cliff notes War and Peace completes the image for some reason.

>>5243405
spok doesn't cry. he can't experience emotion

>>5243156
It looks like he stole the fantasy section from my local bookshop.

>>5243223
Some people collect bottles, what is wrong with that?

>>5243607
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSkI32GQMy4

>>5243451
>voluntarily throwing away your dinosaur books.

Your sir are dead inside.

>>5243628
Ha! I don't have a single dinosaur book in my house

they're in my parents' attic, I could never throw them away

>>5243560
By the feminism=egalitarianism definition, you do realise, a person can quite easily call themselves both a chauvinist and a feminist? The only meaningful definition that 'feminism' has going for it is 'belief in the idea that people are primarily divided by gender': this would justify acting as a feminist, rather than as anything else - even though it's a wrong and laughable belief.

>be me
>have qt 3.14, g-cup, buttsex gf
>help her move remaining possessions from her parents' house
>literally all the books are "Daddy, No! Please!" stuff

>>5243647
sounds like she's fat

>>5243647
Real life story drama stuff or erotic novels?

>>5243445
>Reichsliteratur + dinosaurs

top combo

>>5243647
Example of "Daddy-no"?

>>5243647
could be worse, i spotted 'revenge pregnancy' (a novel) in my ex's old room at her parents

>>5243698
child called it, etc

>>5243698
"handstands in the dark" and "he sold me for a packet of cigarettes"

>>5243654
built, but not fat

>>5243703
this chick did try to hold me in when I was trying to pull out. scary shit

>>5243715
mine too, pic related

>>5243029
Books dedicated to specialty interests aren't something I'd be concerned about so long as it wasn't cannibalism or bomb-making. If you wanted to arrange all the books in my house in separate shelves you could make me look like a classics collector, a research botanist, a model house builder, an amateur chef, a professional masseur, a bodybuilder, a science fiction fan, a gardener and a six year old who likes Junie B. Jones.

only eight of which are true.

>>5243029
Is that a book or a magazine on the bottom shelf? That dude in the very 90s looking vest with his arms crossed....

>walk into living room
>see this

>>5243778
whip out this sexy beast and cuddle up beside mom

>>5243029
>no bible
Burn him at the stake

>>5243276
>after realizing it's all YA I do a 360 and walk out of there.

>>5243778
>see shitskin in my house
>realize I'm being burgled
>glorious, an opportunity to get away with killing a dirty subhuman scot free
>take her outside, put her against the curb and stomp her head in like in that scene in American History X
>keep the ereader and load it with books I can't be seen reading in public like The Turner Diaries

Show me a trick!

>>5243778
>seems like you're list m'lady
>take her hand
>lift her up
>fly to space
>...missing male since lady week, we have a neighbor commenting
>he was...a true gentleman
>*tip my fedora in the stars*

>>5243822
Damn that looked outdated as soon as it came out.

Nice one grandpa.

>>5243276
[allergic rhinitis intensifies]

i would sooner date a girl who didn't read at all than date a girl who reads shit books.

>>5243490
what's wrong with computer science?

>>5244095
If you ever took a CS class, you'd know.

>>5244155
CS major here, can confirm this

>>5243276
I'd be absolutely jealous and humiliated because literature is about winning and reading more stuff than everyone else.

>>5243608
>Some people collect bottles, what is wrong with that?
Personally, I think it's the sign of a personality that has a materialist fetish, some form of OCPD, and poor value judgement. General anxiety and/or frothing buttrage come with it.

As a hobby, it's up there with vaping which is also a childish attempt at having a mature interest that just so happens to require certain tools and is also rife with insufferable hypochondriac pleb consumerists with no notion of the relation of cost to value.

>>5243156
That's my bookshelf!

>>5243276
whole room must be like a 1000 books no? cool stuff.

W-what if I own Dune books

>>5243276
>y dont u just get a kindle u stupid bitch

>>5243156
>a fucking katana

just the icing on the cake

>>5244548
I think collecting objects is less consumerist than doing the opposite, paradoxically. Under the constraint that the collection is an actual mentally-invested collection.

>>5244548
>>5243608
I was just going to say it looks tacky as fuck. Also it comes across as trying to be "mature", sort of like having a ton of knives on display.

I could understand one or two if it's really rare or something, but usually it's a bunch of cheap vodka that's littering the room. It's okay to throw things away.

>>5244548
People vape because they want to smoke without getting cancer, how is that not obvious.

>>5243778
"Can I fuck your hair?"

>>5243147
Shitposting on an anime image board's literature board.

>>5243147
Do you?

>>5245128
Of course.

>>5243156
>>5243437

Why is Genre fiction so bloody thick? Do they just use 25pt font or something?

another one to keep this shit alive.

You're not a true patrician unless you have 5 copies of Ulysses and 2 of Infinite Jest

>>5245643
I bet you still haven't finished it.

>>5245648
It's a picture I found on reddit

>>5245655
Those cunts on r/bookshelf are the worst.

>>5245655
Figures. I have no right to act superior, though. I have two copies and haven't finished either. But, I have read sections. :^)

>>5244667

I remember thinking to myself that I really wanted a japanese sword to adorn my place when I get one, but then I watched the episode from The Wire where they get into Stringer Bell's crib and he has one and when I re-watched that scene on youtube someone on the comments section had said that it looks like the apartment of a "19 year old trust fund libertarian"

For some reason that really really stuck with me and now whenever I see people doing it I find it very douchy

>>5243751
You're only an amateur masseur because you're six?

>>5245366
Genre fiction is thick because it tends to have a lot of plot to make up for lack of style or depth.

>>5245782
Actually a good observation. And probably realistic if you imagine how a smart hood nigga like Stringer, who suddenly hangs out with the rich grown folks, would probably go for that look since he doesn't know better nonetheless.
But what is actually good stuff to put in your apartment next to your books? At some point I considered buying a replica of the Willendorf Venus but I'm not too sure anymore...

>>5245810
>using bookcases as a display case
My books are piled twice high and thrice deep.
they're mostly genre fiction and american lit

>>5245810
I think about that a lot more than I should.

Most things I can think of would allow people to see right through me.

>>5245810
>Willendorf Venus
Maybe if you're an anthropologist or something, and you also like to collect ritualistic masks and shit.

Jesus, just buy art that looks good. I was at the Harlem Art Festival a month ago and there were recently graduated art students literally giving things away because they didn't have space for 20 3'X5' canvases in their parent's apartments. Find something like that, look for something cool and make an offer. Get shit you like. If you're worried about "is this classy enough?" you're going to look like a try hard faggot.

>>5245855
I found a stone bust of Aristotle at a thrift shop for $30.
We put it in my grandmother's store and she sold it for ten.
We shut down the store not long after for semirelated reasons.

>>5243276

The macbook ruins it but that's a perfect bedroom in my eyes.

>>5243778
>because of her thin line of vision there is only one line of text per page

>>5243751
>bomb-making

Books about bomb making would be far more respectable and I would ask him to lend me some entry level stuff. Not one but a bookcase full magic crap is weird as fuck and I would gtfo before he dresses up like a clown and rapes my headless corpse.

>>5243156
>introductory algebra
>college algebra
>psychology
>Fortran

I lol'ed

>>5243560
>feminism=egalitarianism

But that's usually not the case in practice.

>>5243029
>what do you say?

I turn around and say--

--Nothing because HE ISN'T THERE ANYMORE!!!

WHERE DID HE GO

OOOH AAAAHHHH

So... you like magic?

>>5243156

Nice trenchcoat and fedora, fatty. Can I scratch your neckbeard for good tidings?

>>5243276

Is this IRL Beauty and the Beast?

> You walk outside and see this

>>5243156
>turning books to show off the covers

>>5246482
Don't you want to know how quirky he is because he reads Scott Pilgrim?

>>5246487
christ, can't this be inferred well enough by reading the side? that picture actually makes me feel ill, but at the same time these threads remind me no matter how much of a pathetic failure I am, at least I'll never be this bad

>>5246549
it makes it even worse when you imagine him spending half an hour organizing the books and bottles neatly while contemplating which covers to show off. a few last minute adjustments to the position of the katana which he's awfully proud of.

then about how sad and desperate for a tiny bit of dopamine in the form of a nice comment directed towards at him on the internet he is, but instead all he gets is fags on a chinese cartoon website making fun of him.

he comes home from work and opens another bottle.

>>5246615
>then about how sad and desperate for a tiny bit of dopamine in the form of a nice comment directed towards at him on the internet he is
hahahaha, that's exactly the part I'm talking about

I actually had a guy come by for a gun trade recently and he had to go into my book room. I showed him my Finnish lit section because he kept talking about his Finnish heritage.

I think that's the first time a stranger has seen my books, aside from landlords. Went pretty alright imo.

>>5246464
I would join my friends.

>>5246735
You're trading guns with a stranger and your top concern is your bookcase.

>>5246735

This is the gayest thing I have ever read on 4chan.

>>5246849
Not a complete stranger - several mutual friends, and he's the curator of a nearby firearms museum. It's really not as scary as you must think, though my SO and I go to trades together, just in case.

"Gun nuts" who spend their time on esoteric military history are not the same as nignog gangbangers.

>>5246865
How many layers of irony are in play when someone says nignog

>>5246735
Man, I wish I was you
That sounds cool as fuck

>>5243029
I'd ask to borrow Card College. That shit is gold and I've never managed to pirate it. Then I'd do some magic for him and we would become bestest magic buds.

>>5243156
I can forgive the Scott Pilgrim, it's a good series so I'd talk to him about that.

>>5245503
What the fuck
The Buster Sword only has two materia slots and they're near the base
This fucking guy

>>5243915
I still love it
what do you use, fag-o?

>>5245810
I have Disney princess dolls on my bookshelf. No fucks given.

>>5245655
that explains the ayn rand

>>5246464
get back in the guterwagen before they decide to kill me early

>>5243029
"did you know that we are in the fucking 2014 right?"