/lit/ - Literature

>>5136201
I'd have a section in each perfectly tailored to my individual tastes, just in case I might happen to stop in.

I'd burn all the analytic philosophy. It'd be a continuous fire that'd warm the hearts of its fellow customers all while providing a cozy atmosphere.

The store will scan my card when I enter and it will show me my saved wish list and recommendations at a kiosk inside the door, with a map of how to get to there. And I can also sign up for Amabook Prime when I'm there and order it via the interweb, or have a famous simulated actor read it aloud to me.
Something like that. And coffee.

>>5136258
What a terrible thing to do. I hope, Sebastian, that someone doesn't burn the books that you like.

>>5136201
I wish they would at least catalogue the publisher of a book, if not add that in as some element of organization. It's so hard to find NYRB, especially since I normally buy one from them when I find one, even if I've never heard of the book before that discovery.

>>5136258
>he didn't even prove why we should burn analytic philosophy

>>5136311
You really expect a continental fanboy to offer support for a hypothesis?

>>5136311
analytic philo is irrelevant anyway if you are not a White Man

Everything. 1 section. By author's name. If not a primary source, then by editor's name. I'm tired of having to root around 3 sections to find what I'm looking for.

They should have a special section with the motto "These books are shit but they were released last week so we have them here". All other books should be separated from them. Makes it a lot easier.

>>5136325
maybe some day you should check out the entire discipline of cultural anthropology you mouthbreather

>walk in
>sit down at a sectioned-off kiosk, which faces a wall and has blinders on either side
>navigate through a computer-automated book selection process to find what I'm looking for
>select my purchase
>choose the most aesthetically pleasing cover art from a vast menu, as well as paper/hardback
>slide payment into a slot on the wall
>my purchase slides out of a shoot directly in front of me
>pick up the book and place it within a black, opaque bag obtained from beneath the kiosk
>walk out

Total human interaction: 0

>>5136350
You can't seriously be that autistic, can you? I know most barnes and noble branches are aimed much more towards housewives than literary types, but removing all human interaction from purchasing the most human medium of expression?

>>5136201
Philosophy is always next to shit about ghosts and aliens. That really needs to stop.

>>5136350
>describes the internet
Okay.

>>5136400
LMAO you're probably really insufferable irl

>>5136406
You caught me skippy :^).

LMAO.

>>5136335
>2014
>taking anthropology seriously
all you faggots do is use Bourdieu, steal from Heidegger, and masturbate over Foucault -- no reason to take you lot seriously

>>5136416
ressentiment.jpeg

>walk in
>my lit-girl takes my coat and hands me Pynchon's personal annotated copy of Finnegans Wake
>head over to the cafe section where Nietzsche, DFW, and Christopher Hitchens are enjoying a friendly debate over whether or not religion exists
>they all high five me
>signal to the barista more Vyvanse and a black coffee
>as the barista fetches my order, the store lit-girls give the four of us complimentary blowjobs (underneath the table so as to not disrupt the debate)
>while Hitchens is speaking I accidentally make eye contact with DFW
>he winks at me
>look around to see if anybody noticed
>suddenly realize that Hitchens and Nietzsche aren't here at all, they are both actually DFW
>DFW has been talking the entire time
>check under the table
>there are four DFWs giving us all blowjobs
>look at the barista
>it's DFW
>look in the mirror
>I am DFW
>we all cum simultaneously

>>5136454
holy shit

>>5136454

>>5136404
>mfw you were the only one to get the joke

>>5136403

they should divide it by author IQ

>>5136433
bloomface.jpg

>>5136295
>nybooks.com

Yes. They should put all the young adult fiction and manga in the trash bin.

Pic related in the manga aisle.

And this playing quietly throughout the store:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1FcSGDgU8Q

In the front will be a statue of Slavoj Zizek with speakers implanted in the nostrils so as to make obscene noises and so on.

>>5136454
DFW/10

Have a philosophy and then a pop-philosophy section

>>5136332
That's kind of a scary thought.

>>5136285
I work at a Chapters in Canada.
>The store will scan my card when I enter and it will show me my saved wish list and recommendations at a kiosk inside the door
We do that.

>with a map of how to get to there.
That's what I'm for

>And I can also sign up for Amabook Prime when I'm there and order it via the interweb, or have a famous simulated actor read it aloud to me.
Dunno about that

>Something like that. And coffee.
We have a Starbucks in the store.

So come visit!
Just come on a day when idiots aren't working

>>5136714
If that's real it's a lawsuit against the city just waiting to happen.

>>5136350
>my purchase slides out of a shoot directly in front of me
>slides out of a shoot directly in front of me
>shoot directly in front of me
>shoot
>me

>>5139192
All of /pol/ felt the same way and also many of them felt like it was fucked up. They aren't all unsympathetic monsters.

>>5139311
Lost

Lump together Auto, Animal, Cooking, Crafts, Health and Travel.

>>5136291
Please stop writing Sebastian. You also did this in a thread yesterday and it's freaking me out.

>>5139324
Where is your serial comma you fuckhead?

Organize all books into two sections: pleb vs patrician

I'd keep the books how they are but be sure to notify security that long-haired, fat NEETs from Somerset who perv on the staff aren't to be admitted.

>>5136201
Children's books on the lower shelves using existing book catalog systems.

The higher up you get, the older you're presumed to be.

>>5139671
But then you'd be thrown out of your own store!

I know it's not quite the aim of the thread, but if I didn't need to make a living off of it I'd open the most /lit/-core bookstore, with my stocklist based soley off the stickied essential reading, arranged less by genre and more by tier (god to pleb).

We'd only open three days a week, for four hours a day (albeit never the same four hours or the same three days from week to week), liberally insult anybody who came in asking about the latest YA craze, and have a casino-like dress code which required every person walking in to wear a fedora (we would, of course, have loaners for the uninitiated to wear during their time in the store).

It would be paradise.

>>5139848
>a pogrom on old folks with bad backs buying for their grandchildren!

>>5136454
keked hard

>>5136201
Make them all online stores, convert the brick and mortars to marijuana dispensaries that also do drone delivery.