/lit/ - Literature

friend of mine has archie comics in his bathroom

was intially skeptical, but they're good for a short shit

Poetry. A nice sonnet read twice or thrice is about long enough for me to shit.

Jack Kerouac. When I'm done I usually use it to wipe the shit off my ass.

Flash fiction. Because honestly, when the fuck else are you going to read it?

uncle john's ultimate bathroom reader.

seriously. its good

>>509518

Oh yeah my friend has this.

I've always been scared to touch it though. It's probably coated in a microscopic later of poo.

I read shampoo/body wash bottles.
The occasional textbook when I'm studying for something.

I never got that. It takes me about 15 seconds to poop and wipe. When I was seven, I had a friend who read books on the toilet and I was like WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS A TOILET NOT A CHAIR. His pants were up, you see, and the door was open. Is this shit like some adult thing? Hurr durr the newspaper is such a heavy read I must shit it out?

>>509524

Hell yeah textbooks are great for shitting in general.

poopbutt by jon a poopbutt

LOL

>>509526

About the friend thing, the door faces the child library thing his parents had. I would look at the science books they had WHILE I WAS ON A FUCKING CHAIR.

>>509526

>15 seconds

what the fuck is wrong with you?

Anyway I know what your friend is doing 'cause I still do it to this day. I don't know what it is but it feels good to sit on a toilet and read - even with your pants on.

I often take a crap and find myself reading on the toilet for like 15 minutes+ after shitting. I remember when I was like 14-15 my mom was worried I was on drugs because I was spending so much time in the bathroom.

I enjoy reading on the toilet, occasionally I'll actually stay longer on the toilet just to finish the chapter I'm on. I like to read on toilets the same reason I like to read in cars, it is generally quiet and no one is likely to bother you.

>>509531

It comes out easily like giving birth to a large marshmallow.

>>509533

Hell yeah.

It's even better if you have the dryer running.

Or the shower running . . . jeeze I waste so much damn water but I love reading with the shower on in the background. I need to stop it's getting expensive.

I pretty much always need white noise to focus while I read and bathrooms are full of opportunities for white noise so that's another reason I like to read on the shitter.

I like the unflattering lighting and solitariness of the bathroom. It's quite relaxing. Then again, I don't spend much time reading in there (I'm this >>509524 person), but I do know a lot of people that spend time in the bathroom just doing nothing (or so they say) in particular.

>>509526
>15 seconds
That must be nice.

>>509531

I'm more of a read-in-the-tub kind of guy.

whats your poo telling you

so after i shit i can look it up and find out about my diet

>>509542
LOL you gonna get BROFISTED through the internet bro XD

>>509550

Oh my God, tell me about it.

>>509555

Fuck arf, this might be /lit/ but it's still 4chan.

>>509556
:3

>>509550

How do you keep the water warm though?

I like reading in the bath but it starts to suck after like 15 minutes when the water gets cold.

>>509575

Make the water really hot. Also if your tub is well-insulated and not shitty, it doesn't cool as quickly. Or you could just periodically add more hot water.

>>509575
I get it really piping hot, and slide the sliding doors closed. It usually stays good for quite a while. At least 30 minutes.

hell yes, I take my time

>>509599
I've been looking for a source on this forever.

>>509599
woah, her leg deflated

>>509599

It was only a matter of time.

Oh well let's get this show on the road.

>>509599
Is that real? Nothing even shocks me anymore. I just assume it's fake until there is proof.

I usually grab some CDs and read the liner notes (inb4 fag buys music, this was before i knew the wonders of th intarwebz), also lateral thinking puzzles.

>>509603

inb4 naked headless dude sitting on a toilet

(I like to think that's how George Costanza would an hero)

>>509626
so thats where her leg went...

>>509642

the moar you lurk :3

>>509626
Did her leg dissolve into pudding? WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

>>509659
the muscles rotted or disintegrated and the bone simply fell out of the skin.

SOS /lit/ has been hijacked. FUCK YOU, BASTURDS.

>>509662
OH GOD MY INNOCENCE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Does anyone know what the COD is?

Is it perhaps prolonged use of Head and Shoulders?

>>509686
Oh shit, I hope not I've been using that for years.

>>509690
or maybe... it's been using you for years. In the Twilight Zone.

poop

>>509702

Is it true that when you die your bowels release?

>>509718

>>509721

Yes.

>>509721
Yes. And yes that does mean they will find you with shit in your skinny jeans.

>>509726
Like crap and piss everywhere or it just sort of trickles out?

>>509725
NO. NO. YOU GO BACK TO /X/ WITH THAT GODDAMN BULLSHIT. YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY.

I like where this thread is going.

>>509733
Both Sphincters lose the ability to contract. So it all just comes flying out.

>>509733

Imagine a balloon deflating. Sort of like that, but the air is piss and shit and there are two holes.

>>509748
That sounds unpleasant, is this true no matter how you die? If so I need to remember to go out with a full bladder.

>>509754
Yes. Be sure to eat a lot of onions.

>>509751

>>509786
is he dead

>>509803
One can only hope so.

>>509803

No, just Asian.

I'm on the toilet right now, so I guess I read /lit/ while shitting.