/lit/ - Literature

Here I thought 'spice' in Dune was some kind of actual spice. I guess it's a soma kind of thing? I should read Dune sometime.

>>5039593

>>5039612
Why does Charlie Rose hate him? I saw the interview but never got that impression.

>>5039621
10/10

>>5039622
I think it's a joke on how Charlie Rose would get impatient whenever DFW kept getting all nervous and sweaty.

>>5039630
Ah right, I did notice his nervousness. Then again, he's like that in every interview.

>>5039593
Books by Dostoevsky
>The Posessed
>Devils
>Demons
>The Demon

Hah, I should see it no surprise to see this thread here. Is this John?

You really are a kid you know that? A weak little pussy faggot dilettante who likes to hear himself speak, who knows nothing about anything, and who first and for most would like to be respected and regarded as a well read intellectual without actually being a well read intellectual.

In all honesty, as I have pointed out, I really am not that intellectual. It is only that the masses, even on this board, are, in a word, idiots. If you read the complete works of the following you should be well on your way to becoming an intellectual. Yes, even you if it is you, John.

Epic of Gilgamesh
Homer
Plato
Virgil
The Bible (I almost wanted to not put this on the list, but it is important to know what's wrong to know what's right - see what Derrida says about Blue and Red, et al)
Dante
Kant
Schopenhauer
Kierkegaard
Nietzsche (also an underrated composer)
Dostoyevsky (the greatest writer since Socrates)
Joyce
Proust
Camus
Sartre
Barthes
Derrida
Wallace

I hardly think that any of these names need introducing or explaining. As for the rest of you imbeciles, it is your prerogative not mine to expand your narrow vocabularies. I'm going to go read now and you nimrods should too. You're a literary weakling, you don't know who you're up against.

-A

>>5039646
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in creative writing, and I’ve been involved in numerous ghost written HBO scripts, and I have over 500 pages for my current project (that are at least revised once), not counting like 100 for background and characters, and just as many for notes or deleted stuff. You are nothing to me but just another reader. I will wipe you the fuck out with prose stylings the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret writing circle across the USA and your oeuvre is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can outwrite you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my antique typewriter. Not only am I extensively trained in grammar, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Oxford English Dictionary and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit rhyming hexameter all over you and you will drown in it. Just call me Roland Barthes, you’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>5039639
Who the fuck came up with that

>>5039663
my guess is a stoned stemfag in spe

>>5039651
Settle down, kiddo, you've been playing too much call of duty.

>>5039686

>>5039702
It's a counter troll, no 12 year old comes to /lit/ first

>>5039686
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>5039593
That's a much better discussion than any actual discussion we ever had.

>>5039612
>men with sandals
not even once

>>5039639
Why does this almost make kind of sense

>>5039663
Me.
Someone else made this to go with it.

>>5039621
based anon turned some reddit fedora fag meme into defence of categorical imperative.

>treated someone as a means unto an ends
>not even once

>>5039719
>negative hyperspace

>>5039593

>the spice must flow

Really? Nothing better could be made of this?

>>5039593
Can we get some more comics made with this template? I laugh every time regardless of the content, especially at the HUR DUR guy.

>>5041283

>not using an e-reader

lol what an absolute peasant

>>5041696
>classical
>not jazz
ikr

>>5039717
Because of status/contribution.

Gregor was the main breadwinner of the family and technically the man of the household. Everyone else depended on him and was a leech to him. The day he woke up a bug was the day he could no longer work and support the family. The family now supports him and views him as a leech and a vermin.

I also toy with the idea that they're all vermin, Gregor just reached actual self-awareness.

>>5039719
What the fuck am I looking at?

>>5039621
On a side note, where should I begin with Kant?

>>5039639
ahahaha, what the fuck

>>5039612
>dat footwear

>>5041991
10/10 that's the best variation on the "visibly shaken copypasta" I've seen.

>>5042048
A Jewish allied homosexual professor and Treaty of Versailles supporter was teaching a class on Theodor Adorno, known Marxist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Einstein and accept that he was the smartest man ever, even smarter than Gottlob Frege or Karl Schmitt.

At this moment, a brave, Aryan, 14/88 SS Obersturmbannfuehrer who had killed 1500 Untermenschen on the Ostfront and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by Nazi Germany stood up and showed a picture of an Aryan man.

”What can you tell me about this, Rassenschande?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “He is just a man, no different from an Untermensch, except the Jews are probably even smarter”

”Wrong. It is the proven master race, tracing his lineage back to every people that ever accomplished something and has every right to struggle for Lebensraum.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of das Kapital in Hebrew. He stormed out of the room crying those Schmutzig-Judische crocodile tears. The same tears Judeo-Bolshevists cry for the “gassed” when they jealously try to claw justly earned land from the deserving Uebermenschen. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Schlomo Marxstein, wished his people were not causing all the troubles the Reich was facing, and wished he didn’t deservedly got what was coming to him for that.

The students applauded and all registered to the Nazi party that day and accepted Adolf Hitler as their Feuhrer. A Reichsadler named “Germanentum” flew into the room and perched atop the Nazi flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The first couplet of “Deutschland uber alles” was sung several times, and Thor himself showed up and roused the people for totalen Krieg all across the Reich.

The professor lost his tenure and was sent to Auschwitz the next day and didn’t die there because the Holocaust never happened.

Sieg Heil

>>5039646

>>5041691
This is not funny. Who said he intended to be moral in the first place? Why can't an individual act immoral if he ever decides to?

>>5041283

>>5042539
There is no reason not to be a hypocrite. He should go with the answer it is implied he cheated to discover.

>>5039601
They put in in their food, and I recall it tastes like cinnamon.
It's also produced by sandworms, so it's not clear exactly what it is.

>>5039719

top kek

>>5042604
somebody's been reading The Last Ringbearer

>>5042554

this is like, 90% of the crowds at parties though

>>5039708
I always thought "seven hundred ways" was a nice touch. like it's the perfect amount of silly

>>5042554
>i bet you even forgot to be awesome

>>5042554
fuck I hate these twats more than I hate chavs

>I made this and posted this on lit and people liked it although it's more to do with r9k obviously.

A 9/10 blonde, big titted attention whore was teaching a class at Beta University.

"Before the class begins you should get on your laptops and like my new Facebook status updates and fifty new party and beach photos despite me never acknowledging your existence."

At this moment a robotic, NEET, virgin, who had made 1500 feel topics, was out of his house for the first time in a week, and fully comprehended the scale of female privilege and the easiness of their lives stood up and held a rock.

"What does this rock feel like?"

The ego inflated lecturer smirked quite Jewishly and enthusiastically replied, "It feels rough. It hurts my hand just by holding it!"

"Wrong. If it hurts you and treats you roughly... then why haven't you let it cum on your face yet?"

The lecturer was visibly shaken and dropped her chalk and copy of 50 Shades of Grey. She stormed out of the room crying those white knight summoning tears. The betas applauded and all made greentext topics on /r9k/ and realised that if 20 % of the men get all of the women then they outnumber Chad 4 to 1. A cat named "Unused Pussy" ran in to the room and sat atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. After one week all women were enslaved by the beta uprising and distributed equally among the male population.

The lecturer lost her tenure and was fired the next day. She committed suicide after realising that none of the hundreds of men that offered to marry her were millionaires, and that her life was too hard.

A demonologist transcended Mongolian professor and Geist activist was teaching a class on Hegel, known necromancer.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the end of history and accept that Absolute Idealism is the most highly-evolved sophism to make us feel good about ourselves the continent had ever known, even greater than self-serving petit-bourgeois Protestant theology!"

At this moment an uncaring if he was brave because being judged by illusionary social standards was of no importance to him, egoist, unique girls' school teacher who had smoked more than 15,000 cigars in Hippel's wine bar and understood the spookiness of all ideology and fully supported whatever he felt like stood up and held up "Der Einzige und sein Eigentum"(The Ego and its Own).

"I wrote this, innit?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite synthetically and smugly replied "It's not yours at all, fucking egoist, it's the stern, reluctant, working of reason towards the full realization of itself in perfect freedom."

"Wrong. It's been a few years or something (time is nothing to me) since I, the Unique One, created it. If it was not mine, and idealism, as you say, is not a spoook... Then Ghost Busters wouldn't have had a happy ending."

The professor was visibly shake , and dropped his balls and copy of Plato's dialogues. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic thesis and antithesis tears, both coming together on his cheeks into synthesis. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Hegel (who liked to teach about himself), wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a spook ridden sad cunt interested in arbitrary justifications. He wished so much that he had some kind of Own to hold on to, and he had but just didn't realize it because he was an involuntary egoist.

The students applauded and all started milk shops that day and accepted their Self-Enjoyment as the end of philosophy. An eagle named 'Union of Egoists' flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Stirner's Critics" and she's a beer on the hardcover. "Inch hav Mein Sach' auf Nichtd Gestell" was said several times, and Renzo Novatore himself showed up and demonstrated how hand grenades are nothing more than a means of killing police officers.

The professor had his tenure revoked and was fired the next day. He died of superstition and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.

The name of the student? Max Stirner.

>>5043173
> "Wrong. It's been a few years or something (time is nothing to me) since I, the Unique One, created it. If it was not mine, and idealism, as you say, is not a spoook... Then Ghost Busters wouldn't have had a happy ending."
top kek, finally got the reference

>>5043149
>>5043149
Not bad, not bad, but
>the post doesn't end with "all eternity"
>there isn't a sentence about the blonde hypocritical tears and how she wish she could like betas for their inner beauty but had partyied herself to ignore it

Those are key points, damnit.

>>5039651

Quidnam dixisti modo mihi, cinaedule? Ego te certiorem faciam me exiisse e Phocis Classiariis optimum meae ordinis et in frequentibus incurisonibus occultis contra Al-Qaeda expertum esse, et plus quam trecentas caedes probatas habere. In bello guerilla educatus sum et ego sum optimus ictor sagittarius in totis UC viribus armatis. Tu es nil mihi praeterquam aliud destinatum. Ego te, scelus, conteram adamussim ut numquam usquam visum est in orbe terrarum, annota mea, malum, verba. Arbitrarisne te posse illas contumelias dicere impune per interrete? Iterum arbitrare, nequam. Etiam cum colloquimur advoco meum secretum rete curiosorum per totas UCA et tuum IP excipitur, iamiamque ita potius est te parari procellae, vermis. Procella quae omnino perdat illud miserandulum quod tu tuam vitam nominas. Per deos immortales tu es mortuus, puercule. Ubivis, quandoque esse ego possum et novi te trucidare pluribus quam septingentis modis - et illis meis manibus solis. Non solum sum educatus plurifariam in proeliis inarmatis sed usu ego fruor toti armentarii Unitarum Civitatum Marini Corporis et eo utar effuse ut detergam tuum miserum os de facie telluris, caenulum. Si novisses defamatam ultionem quam "callidum" tuum dictum inlaturum fuisse fortasse retinuisses tuam linguam. Sed non poteras, non fecisti, et nunc poenas solvis, fatue miselle. Ego furiam cacabo super te totum et tu in illa merges. Per deos immortales tu es mortuus, puercule.

>>5043288
How long have you been waiting to drop that Latin translation of a copypasta ? Just wondering.

>>5043288
8/10

>>5040460

Your wish is my command

blank template

>>5043149

Does anyone have that vert comic of someone critiquing Shakespeare's works for just making up random words and how no one was going to take him seriously?

>>5043682
This is too accurate.

>>5043167
10/10

>>5043149
>"Wrong. If it hurts you and treats you roughly... then why haven't you let it cum on your face yet?"

>>5043173
Could someone explain to me what was the point behind Stirner's milk shop?

>>5044016

stirner was big on selling milk

>>5044016
Dude just liked milk.

>>5043167
>mie færsom cung-fu
I died. Bravo

>>5043682
This is literally a summary of everything on /lit/

>>5043682
more of these

>>5039612
who is that on the right?

>>5044134

Cock-Legged Colin

>>5044189
>>5043682
too painfully real to be funny

captcha: Litholu lessened

>>5044523
>>5044189
>>5043684
>>5043682

I love these, but I never figured the name for them.
Any idea what these types of comics are called?

>>5044134
antonio monda

>>5044016
From wikipedia.

>>5044736
Stirner's life needs to be made into a farce film.

>>5044752

Someone please make this a thing.

>>5044752
Starring this guy

>>5039593
Can I please have a picture or list or any guide of essential readings approved and recommended by some credible authorities. Thank you

>>5044189
>how do I start with the greeks

>>5044771
read the sticky

or read Harold Bloom

>>5044770

Would watch

>>5044762
>meet cute girl
>end up dating
>she becomes my girlfriend
>one day I post-coitally murmur in her ear that if God told me to I would kill her
>she says that that's crazy and to stop saying dumb shit ,ike that
>i tell her that she doesn't understand and that I would have to do it in order to become a Knight of Faith
>she tells me i'm a Christian pig
>i tell her that I'm indifferent to her because I have faith in God
>she looks at me like I'm crazy and gets up to leave and mockingly tells me to go sacrifice my son instead
>i tell her that's actually not a bad idea
>she asks me who the hell i think i am
>i say that i am the Teleological Suspension of the Ethical
>she says i'm an asshole
>i say no attributes can properly describe the infinite movements i am currently undertaking
>she asks me where i get all this shit from
>i tell her i believe it all by virtue of the absurd
>she leaves

>>5045381

I chuckled.

>>5039708
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little buddha-potentiate? I'll have you know I ascended top in my temple of Zen, and I've been involved in numerous chants and meditations, and I have over 300 confirmed koans. I am trained in open-eyed meditation and I'm the top circular breather in the entire Mahayanna school. You are nothing to me but just another seed waiting to be nurtured. I will ascend you the fuck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in samsara, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, friend. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of bodhisattvas across Japan and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the moksha, child. The storm that wipes out life is nothing but a rain drop upon the vast ocean of consciousness. You're fucking blessed, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can ascend you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare mantras. Not only am I extensively trained in koans and riddles, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Zen Buddhist scripts and I will use it to its full extent to lift your being out of the systemic cycle of rebirth, you little child-thinker. If only you could have known what incredible transcendence your little "clever" comment was about to bring up to you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're going to reach nirvana, child. I will cease your suffering and you will transcend and escape samsara. You're fucking blessed, kiddo.

Does anybody have the one where it talks about Sasha Grey publishing her book, then the style is continued in the same way for Kierkegaard and DFW?

>>5045381
Top kek.

I have a very disorganized piling of images from past threads, I'll slowly be adding them

>>5045632

>>5045530
I have that one somewhere, the one where dfw's ends in footnotes. Hopefully I'll find it soon

>>5045642

>>5045632

This is good, but badly marred by whoever made it not bothering to put a simple two-pixel black stroke on the text. Stupidly hard to read.

>>5045642
Can you explain this to me?

>>5045668
there's been a rumor for a while tha pynchon posted on /tv/. there's a lot of people on /tv/ with inflation fetish.

>>5045668
>>5045677

it's most likely a joke, but we've been pretty obsessed with Pynchon every since he (or Bill Murray) posted here once, talking about Shakespeare conspiracy theories

>>5045687

>>5043682
>>5043684
>>5044189
>>5044523
>>5045693

>>5045714

>>5045717

>>5045733

>>5045737

>>5045745
hopefully this rekindles some feels for our long lost mid-eastern friend

>>5039639
this should be

>both gregor and his family are at point b
>family moves to A

>family sees gregor as more bug like
>for some magical reason gregor continues to see family as "b" even though they have shifted to a (in story, gregor family still look the same to them)

0/10 does not make sense

>>5045530
Finally found it, enjoy

>>5045756
If I was Iranman, I'd feel ashamed and embarrassed for all the work I did begging daily to get a book that's completely mediocre in every way.

Avete agagae!

Nomen mihi Iohanni est et ego odi unum quemque vestrum. Omes crassi, fatui ignavi inertes estis qui quamque secundam diei perditis imagines stultissimas spectando. Vos estis omnia mala in mundo. Vero, num quis vestrum umquam cunnulum cepisti? Licet, opiner lepidum esse homines ridere propter tuas infirmitates interiores, sed vos novum locum occupastis. Hoc est etiam peius quam te contractare Vultuslibri picturis.

Ne sis timidus, modo me feri optimo tuo colapho. Ego fere perfectus sum. Capitaneus pespilae meae manus eram, et primus in sportapilae manu. Quos ludos ludistis vos, praeter "contrectare te nudis pictis Japanicis"? Etiam recta A in studiis mereo, et habeo calide pulchram amicam (modo me fellavit, merda erat TAM quaestui). Vos omnes estis agagae plane occidendi vobis. Gratias audientibus.

Imago cognata: est mei cum meo scorto .

>>5045666
it's funnier this way you fucking autist

>>5045775
>it's funnier if it's difficult to read

I disagree.

>>5045828
do I really have to explain to you why it's funnier for it to be amateurish and poorly made

can you give me your initials? I swear I know someone I could totally picture writing these posts

>>5043682
>I'm here from /pol/
>Tell me about Julius Evola

It's too true to even be funny.

ITT: The reason all my friends are STEMfags.

>>5045828
I also find humour in the fact that sometimes these things are hard to read. It's so you know some retard made it.

>>5045834
>do I really have to explain to you why it's funnier for it to be amateurish and poorly made

There are so many ways for it to be amateurish and poorly made without impeding its own transmission by being difficult to read.

Tell me - honestly - did you make it? It's quite funny and you should be proud of that. But if you still have the PSD file, you should seriously consider just sticking a little stroke around it. I guarantee you a considerable percentage of people who look at it just close the tab because they can't read the text.

>>5045849
Again, that can be conveyed at least as well in ways that don't encourage people to stop reading it at first glance.

>>5043682
/lit/ at its worst

>>5045758
Wasn't there a change in how he perceived his father though?

>>5041283
>making a comment about not reading "Don Quixote" in its native language and not even spelling it Don Quijote as it is spelled in Spanish

dropped

>>5046058
this is why people don't like us.

>>5039637
Awesome

>>5043167
HOLY FUCK THAT IS GLORIOUS

>>5046117
Requesting the full wallpaper where Aristotle calls a guy a dumb shit and the rest in of the people in the people reply with
Topkek
Rekt
and Aristotle u so funny

>>5046593
Fucking glaucon

>>5046593
I remember it, it looks something like this

>>5039621

>>5046615
>Zeus!
>Zeus!
>Zeus!
top kek
Plato really was a retarded faggot

>>5046623
had to bite my hand to keep from laughing and waking people up

>>5046615
this is my favourite

>>5045687
Pynchon posted on /lit/?

>>5045733
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his jamba juice
>not A screaming cums across the intestinal tract of my body

>>5046634
>>/lit/thread/S667543

This is the main thread with all the conspiracy theories

>>5039646
>the greatest writer since Socrates
Huh.

>>5045856
>/lit/ all the time

>>5046927
oh god that is golden

>>5046927

That really cheered me up, actually. I bought it. Made me feel like less of a loser for being on the board.

>>5042539
Just enjoy the fucking comic at face value you flaming autist and keep that edgy asp to yourself.

>>5039612
>dat bandana
Why. Just why?

>>5047864
perspiration

>>5046927
>he's still a mystery in a way that Dante (who did meet Beatrice and wrote from that inspiration)
I wish people on /lit/ stopped talking about Dante. They only ever say wrong stuff.

>>5042181
>The professor lost his tenure and was sent to Auschwitz the next day and didn’t die there because the Holocaust never happened
My sides

>>5041980
>>5047864
>that entire outfit

>>5045762

Thanks bud

>>5045762

>w/r/t to

Every fucking time

>>5045381
eh

>>5041912
This was insightful and cogent-with-experience advice. Thanks.