/lit/ - Literature

nice blog it would look good on blogspot

>>5034670
this is 2014 OP. stop expecting anything from people unless you wish to live a life of misery

ironic captcha: foundations

>talk to qt English major girl
>try to talk about English lit
>she is reading The Help
>doesn't know anything at all
>mfw I lick her asshole and she stops returning my texts

Mission accomplished

>>5034705
hahaha

>writing biggest thing yet
>draw up huge plot/character diagram on four foot long scroll of paper towels
>keep pinned up on wall by desk
>roommate goes out for a few hours
>masturbating furiously in room
>cum all over chest
>hear roommate walk in downstairs unexpectedly early
>he walks upstairs to our door
>walks past door
>goes into bathroom across the hall
>no tissues
>no towels
>bare paper towel roll
>tear down diagram and use it to clean up
>roommate never suspects a thing
we all got problems

Moby-Dick is garbage though...

>Long-term gf just broke up with me
>At coffee shop trying to think of how to get my shit together
>notice cute girl is has been looking at me for some time
>smile at her and wave a little
>go back to staring at my coffee
>lock up to see her sitting next to me
>asks me what’s wrong
>little reluctant, think it’s a trick
>It isn’t
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>she was dumped recently too
>accidentally stare at her cleavage as she’s talking
>start to get hard
>feel a hand run up my leg
>see her breathing a bit hard
>asks if I like what I see
>guide her hand to my zipper
>she unzips my fanny pack by mistake
>spaghetti falls out
>try to clean it up with my sock
>start to cry
>get embarrassed and fart watery diarrhea all over my man skirt
>smear shit all over the window and ask her to marry me
>mfw she said no

Holy shit this retard actually likes Moby-Dick

Amerishit detected

I once fucked a Portuguese tranny from the town Moby Dick starts in.

>>5034734
Why is Moby Dick shit?

>>5034749
Because it's tryhard.

>>5034726
>mfw when this meme is no longer funny

>>5034670

Why would you recommend Moby Dick to strangers you don't really know?

The average reader isn't prepared for such a thing and probably never will be.

>>5034749
>Dick shit

>>5034742
I remember you.

>>5034763
Hh wow you actually think Moby-Dick is complex

How embarrassing

>>5034770
Corin?

>>5034734
>>5034757
I never thought plebs could be this pleb, but then I remembered it was the summertime and well...

Some people think Moby Dick is the AUTHOR holy shit, I am still laughing as I write this sentence.

>>5034670
>be you
>think I am intelligent because I did a literature course
>know books because other people told be about the deep symbolism
>plebs could NEVER understand how deep and complex Moby-Dick is, only a true patrician like I could
>approach random people because they are reading a book (lol so random)
>oh wow she doesn't read complex literature, what a horrible person she is. I am so far above her because I understand some books
>tfw will never find true love, other people are to blame for this and definitely not me

>>5034788
filtered :)

>>5034788
filtered

gay unfunny name

>>5034773

It's not complexity that's the problem, it's the scope and broadness that will overwhelm and bore the average reader....

>>5034718
>>5034734
guys I'm not OP but when you act like ignorant cretins it makes me depressed ;_;

>>5034820

I don't think OP actually read Moby Dick or interacted with any females recently.

>>5034823
>>>/r/books/

>>5034670
What kind of job do you have with an English Lit degree?

>>5034848
McDonalds employee

>>5034810
>>5034812
Everytime you filter me, I become a little stronger and your butt hurts a little more.

>its nonfiction but whatever

What's wrong with nonfiction?

>>5034855
i like your name bro

>>5034726
On lit of all places I have to see this shit. Maybe that "summer kids" stuff is true

>>5034848
all of them

>>5034770
u niggas like a steven wright joke

>>5034878
It tends to be less true than fiction.

go away normalfag

>>5035024
Get back to /r9k/ loser.

>>5034801
Do you even reading comprehension?

I have never ever met someone retarded enough to think that Moby Dick is an author. Where the fuck do you live (I'm afraid I know the answer)? How can someone lack basic knowledge like this?

>>5034670
> "I've never read any Dick books"
lel

>>5035290

>basic knowledge

basic literary knowledge today consists of knowing what a book looks like

>>5035015
>It tends to be less true than fiction.
This is why you English lit majors have no friends

>>5034670

>she says "I've never read any Dick books"


holy fuck you dumb nigger she wanted to fuck you this badly but you didn't even notice

>>5034670

I'm probaly better read than you simply because of age and not being an /r9k autismo class battle master.

I want you to understand that you might engage a patrician like myself and wrongly assume your superiority merely because I have never desired to read of the great white sperm. Two people can be well read and yet not have read the same books.

I'm not saying you're well read, you just obsess about one classic to the point of autism over intensity.

>>5035764
Can you waffle more pretentiously please? I'd rate your rambling with 1 out of 2 monocles right now

>>5035764
Why is it edgy to hate Moby Dick? Is it because some people find it too hard to read?

>>5035041
/r9k/ has become normalfag as fuck lately. Just following the general 4chan trend I guess. It's like /jp/ is the only non-subhuman board left.

>>5034760

it has surpassed it original state and is now well established in form and essence. while it ist sophisticated by now, it is still funny. you just have seen enough of it.

m2cents, have good mercy with your soul

>>5035769
>>5035784

Plebeians please, slow your rolls. I hath decreed many things and yonder beyond the fortnight have glimpsed both the immensity of the void and the shallowness of God's own soul. Do not think it fit to talk up on high to me from way down below, I've seen things you people wouldn't believe, great central orificies of vast genital diffusion beyond the Tanhauser gate.

Step down from the mantle you think rightly has fitted thee, stand clear and reduce the impressions of your petty minds and merely be glad I have shit posted on your hovel of a thread.

Get rekted your mad charlatabs, for post again I will.

>>5034749
The last few pages were great. The first thousand or so were just random and unnecessary details about whaling and a boring, drawn out narrative about a bunch of gays on a ship.

>Be at hotel bar in Atlanta one night, asshole hours of the morning
>Notice qt 3.14 staring at me, but don't think much of it.
>I turn her direction and she's standing right beside me, and she starts conversation
>She asks what I'm majoring in
>"English."
>"Me too!"
>Spend the whole night talking about literature
>Leave Atlanta the next day with her number.
>Fast forward one month exactly and I'm visiting her in Oklahoma, staying with her for a week and a half while on spring break.
>Both want to be teach, are passionate about lit, and want to kill ourselves.
>Fast forward even further and we're living together, both working shifts at the same bar, taking Vyvanse together and holding each other's hand while we read Ulysses and Joyce's fart letters.

>>5035835
>>Both want to be teach, are passionate about lit, and want to kill ourselves.
What kind of a non sequitor is that

>>5034850

Nigger, I'm not OP, but I graduated last year with a degree in English, and now I make $50k a year at a brokerage firm. Most jobs in modern developed countries don't require STEM; they just require being good at shit.

>>5035840
Let me translate that for you: he means that he's an overprivileged sissyboy emo fag.

>>5034850
Your dad doesn't post on 4chan, stop trying to impress him. I'm sure your butthole is too old for him now.