/lit/ - Literature

AIDS

A man is supervising the construction of a railroad through a swampy segment in Brazil. The construction is behind schedule and he has been constipated for a few days, adding to his stress level.

A convicted pedophile who's reached rock bottom sneaks into an elementary school out of frustration.

>>4988673
Diego went on the construction site and got so mad at the delay that he shat his pants. He then realized that the source of his constipation was anger at his mother, whom he blamed for being a filthy Brazilian shitskin pig. The redpilled and reasonable supervisor then went to the toilet to empty the sag bag. When he came out, seeing all the dirty workers, he started tipping his hardest and as his fedora started vibrating, the whole damn fucking railroad collapsed and so he had to flee. Little did he know about the nature of mother nature which turned to be too unpredictable and thus a lightning bolt killed him.

>>4988695
Since the school ran out of frustration, every single student, teacher and janitor was nothing but jovial. The pedophile, being convicted, was caught by the guard and sent to prison. He was then raped and murdered by other inmates as they do not like pedophiles very much.

>>4988672
John had not been feeling well. His alarm had startled him and his heart was racing. Tired. John had felt tired for a few months now. Not the kind of tired that makes you long for a bed or a break from whatever physical task you are doing. This was profound. After sitting up and staring at the wall across from him for what felt like 10 minutes, he made his way to the kitchen. Drinking his coffee, begging for his body to follow his mind in it's alertness, John felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was a text message from Will, who he had FUCKED IN THE ASS THE NIGHT EARLIER IT SAID "YOU HAVE AIDS"

>>4988695
Zafron makes his way into the school.
"are you our teacher today?"
Sally, the third grade student of Saint Tobasco Elementary looks up at Zafron, in his gray trench coat. Underneath the coat he wears nothing but a pair of tight jeans, which grip his sac in a protective, comforting way.
"why yes I am. Could you show me where your classroom is?"
From a pocket, Zafron pulls a yellow lollipop and hands it to Sally.

>>4988712
>Brazilian
>shitskin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m8UNV9x9lM

A man feels a nagging itch in his nether regions

>>4990162

Benjamin reached into his trousers to pull out a giant nest of bees.
"Are you having a giggle, mate?"
Asked Benjamin as he leaped forward punching Jacob right into his chin.

It was a gruesome sight. A mix of blood and teeth swirling everywhere. Jacob was laying on his back on the cold stone floor. His eyes were still, gazing into the nothingness. Jacob smirked, knowing his little prank was a success. He mustered his remaining strength, he just couldn't lie there quiet.
"Benjamin, my friend, try to BEEha--"
Benjamin had had it with Jacobs shit, he knew exactly what Jacob was going to say. Benjamin raised his foot and smashed Jacob's head into a red mist of brains and blood. That was the end of our hero Jacob.

>>4990162
despite vigorous scratching, the itch intensifies. Suddenly, the botfly eggs that had, unbeknownst to the man, been steadily growing in his scrotum bursts open, and the botflys begin eating their way out into the fresh air.

>>4988723
I like you.

>>4988673
he realized that the world around him is meaningless, and even if he does complete his railroad, he will still feel empty inside. The humid conditions and the unresponsive anus were for nothing. He feels overcome with euphoria, and graciously dives backwards into the swamp.

*tips fedora* Maybe some other time, kid *shits diarrhea*

>>4990260

Said Nitsche as he a sheathed his magnificent Katana that was folded a trillion times. He gazed into the horizon with the sun setting. He knew that no phony God or deity would ever cloud his mind again. He hadn't felt like this in years. Nitsche was truly euphoric that moment.

A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL BECOMES ENLIGHTENED, AND LATER BECOMES WORLD QUEEN.

>>4990287
"I'm the world queen now!" said the enlightened thirteen year old girl on her newly acquired throne.

>>4988712
>>4988723
>>4988735
>>4990249
>hurr so randum, are you from le /b/ too? xD

>>4990313
you're a big guy

>>4990318

4 HIV

>>4990313
Le wiener man wienered his wiener down to Wienerville.
"That's one le epic maymay"
Le wiener man's wiener was about 10 inches long, but his heart was solid gold. He posted on his favorite lulzy interwebs site, 4chan /b/.
"That feel when you're forever alone :\"
Le wiener man was finally home.
"I know le that el feelio face" responded Anonymous to le wiener man's OP post in his ITT thread.
"I just wish the girl I liked would notice me..." replied le wiener man
"WAAAAAAAAHHH WAAAAAHH MUH ONEITIS A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO" said Anonymous
Le wiener man realized Anonymous was right and became a PUA faggot. The end.

>>4990287

And thusly, verily, quintessentially the snake thrust forward and with one quick whip of a glistening tooth, pricked the temporal skin of the youthful Evelyn. Lo! She screamed, cradling her own arm as if it were to strangle her lest she cage that nature. Lo! Electrical air strikes bombarded her inner head mass, setting forth memories of distant lands, alternate times and potential futures, and thus, became at that moment one with the all that ever has been or ever will be!

>>4990287
looking down on the peasants below, she sighs. It wasn't as good as she planned. She snorted a mountain of cocaine like a goat with a deformed penis.

>>4990318
"After you, Bane" said CIA as the couple boarded the aeroplane.
Bane smiled underneath his mask. He was glad CIA could not see the goofy smile that projected his girlish glee. For a big guy Bane was sure a sweetheart. Bane turned back to CIA, "Nobody knew who I was 'til I put on the mask" he whispered, "until I found you".
CIA blushed and gently squeezed Bane's hand.
As CIA sat down he placed his hand on Bane's leg, "You're a big guy" he said, as he smiled warmly.
"For you".

>>4990252
kek

>>4988673
The truck which was supposed to bring the railroad blocks finally came. "Carlos!", shouted Juan. "Go tell chefe that the planks came!" Carlos instinctively ran towards the manager's office, but he was nowhere to be found. He ran outside, looking around while shouting "Chefe! Chefe!". A bewailed moan sounded nearby, and Carlos indentified it instantly as the managers. Carlos ran towards the moans and groans and found himself in front of a muddy, swampy pond, where the manager was squatting.
The manager's pants were down.
The stench was unbearable.
"Chefe..", muttered Carlos awkwardly. "T-the planks..."
The manager looked at Carlos with the face of pure horror. "Just gimme a minute!"
Carlos could never forget the smell.

>>4991021
>Juan
>Brazil

Aliens immigrate to Earth and are worse than the Mexicans.

>>4991058

>>4991058

A man walks down the street.

>>4988672

So, once again, that was it. Jim was left with another seed of guilt to plant in his completely barren gut, well knowing not a single pang of anything would come from it. Being built out of iron ore mined from somewhere in Siberia by Dr. Mengele, as Jim believed he was, rarely produced what you would call an 'emotionally mature person.' See, Jim had a knack for fucking any and all holes that would grant him entry, always hatless, and then leaving them with a fancy 80% chance of contracting the hip new retrovirus: HIV. And in the late 80's, it wasn't just easy to find a willing soul when searching in the right places, it was inevitable. So now, with a drenching crotch, unflinching disposition, and maybe a little satisfaction, Jim decided to dress in a flash because of some seething urge to do something else, anything else. For our crude crusader, meat spoiled very quickly.

>>4991086

The street felt the vibrations, the vibrations of a titan, of a legend thought dead, of Nobby McElroy. Nobby's impressive gait and sweltering swagger impressed even the most blind of women. His pheromones radiated out from under his arms in such a manner that even the gnats nearby seemed transfixed in his direction. With each walloping step, the dogs and children of the neighborhood became more and more distracted. Thoughts of Godzilla shook each household, and soon, not a window remained vacant. The only thing that outweighed McElroy himself was his reputation. Gold medal winning Olympic disc thrower in '82 and now the house-ridden, well, once house-ridden, proprietor of the internet craze: WhatsGrandmaDoing.com. Nobby was a legend for sure, but now, he's become legend incarnate, fable reborn. Look's like Spring's coming early this year.

>>4991129
I love this