/lit/ - Literature

Next up is Bertie. Not in his sweet old man phase, but in his youth. That moustache, obviously resorted to in desperation. The collar, the hair, the fussy tie - my only dilemma is whether to just chin him or to steal his lunch money first.

This thread's gay

Nitch rounds off the top three, no monster 'stache - he was nutso by then, bad form, punching-wise - and obviously have him take off the glasses.

Something about his dumpy face and the curl of his lip make me think of an unruly child. A quick slap in the chops might soften his cough for him. I have a special disdain for chubby-chasers anyway.

Not really a philosopher, but since he's pretending to be one - look at this smug prick. Easily the most punchable face in the public eye right now. Ironically, I agree with a lot of what he says, but that shit-eating smirk is just too much for me.

There's only one suitable punishment for the crime of eating a raccoon, and since we've caught Gottlob here red-handed, it's POW, lights out, baby!

>>4983359
>>4983363
I agree with you on these two mama's boys.

My addition is old Schoppy. One look and you know he would be a pain in the ass to deal with. He looks like a type of guy that argues even over the most petty stuff. He looks like he would jump a queue and if you called him out on his bullshit he would get furious. He looks like he could push a woman down the stairs. Grumpy old fag.

>>4983427
>He looks like a type of guy that argues even over the most petty stuff. He looks like he would jump a queue and if you called him out on his bullshit he would get furious.

So much this. I bet he'd haggle when buying stuff, too. Like he'd pick the one bruised apple in the bunch and spend ten minutes trying to get a discount.

You can hear him mock your opinion if you look at this picture hard enough.

>>4983433
>Look, my dear sir, life is suffering. Can't you at least offer me a discount?

>>4983452

What a breakable nose!

>no Kant yet
Come on, this Nigga had a smug look on his face that could only be described as "pedophile smirk"

Oh, I was just reading about Rousseau and the Tasmanian Aborigines.
I offer this creepy cunt.

>>4983504
But he was so pathetic looking and weak. I would feel really bad about it.

I've never even read him. But the punchability level of almost any pic of him is too high. This one, specifically, breaks any record for me.

Nietzsche was such a badass looking dude but for that fucking mustache, lol. What the fuck was his deal? I dunno. Maybe he was laughing the whole time, taking none of what he was saying seriously, and didn't want anyone to know? Pfft.

>>4983529
I don't think he looks badass at all. He looks like a pathetic tryhard for me lol

>>4983359
>Being French helps
>French

Rousseau was born in Geneva, you retard.

>>4983541
I think he looks a bit careless, which is a shame because he was said to carry himself with a cheerful disposition.

Nietzsche looks gangster as fuck and as if he made a hobby out of staring goats to death.

>>4983519
I'd feel very uncomfortable about beating up Foucault because it'd probably turn him on.

>>4983546
Without a mustache I think he looks like he was heavily bullied at school and can't even say hi to a person of the opposite genre. With a mustache he looks like he's trying hard to hide that.
Not even bashing, it's just the impression I get.

I don't think carelessness has something to do with it. Wittgenstein looks totally careless and totally badass to me.

>>4983411
Hey fuck off, Fregehair is godly.

>>4983563
Wittgenstein looks like a farmer to me.

What you just said applies to virtually all Frenchmen. However, the one who has special powers on me is Jacques Derrida. He's like a singularity of arrogance.

>>4983566
I think that is suitable. But I think he looks like a farmer that gets drunk everynight and will beat the shit out of you if you say shit to him.
Not that he looks like he can phisicaly fight well. He just looks like that kind of skinny person that when in a fight won't care about him or about you and will keep beating you no matter what till either of you are dead.

>>4983577
He's pretty much a farmer with a al-pacino-in-a-gangster-movie vibe.

A fitting face for the man who claimed to have solved every problem in philosophy.

I'd like to see him solve my fist to his cheekbone.

>>4983592
Dunno about that, Rust Cohle ripped of Nietzsche and Ligotti in pretty much everything he said.

>>4983604
Cohle looked like Wittgenstein though.

>>4983592
I would never punch someone who can give a photographer such a stare. Did he have PTSD?

>>4983615
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine.

Rousseau is baller as fuck. Like putting Statham in a time machine.

>>4983615

No, he's just asking for it.

Tell a young hooligan to pick up some trash he just dropped. That's the exact same look he'll give you.

would you punch y/n?

>>4983630
I'd probably struggle to get through his ticking hands which would be parrying my every shot. 'Vat is zis my gott? Ur staggle is futile and so on'.

>>4983635
>and so on'
oh lord it's the sides thief again

>>4983635
i think his face would just absorb my fist.
maybe many absorbed hands are restlessly tickling his nose...

I offer this guy, but I bet you're too pleb and unlearned to know his name (without doing a reverse image search, that is).

>>4983592
Witty has to be the most attractive philosopher that's ever lived.

>>4983659
>not Richard Precht
Those eyes scream bedroom

>>4983504

You can't hit Kant, it would be like hitting a cripple or something.

>>4983544

ARR ROOK SAME

>>4983678
Nah, I want to punch him. I want to have dinner with Ludwig.

>>4983657
that's clearly nigger.jpg, smartypants

>>4983659

Not only are you a faggot, but you have bad taste in men.

Dwell on that.

>>4983359
>he thinks Rousseau was French

>>4983657
La Mettrie

>>4983452
Wait a second...

>>4983359
>Being French helps

roflmao

>>4984844
>swiss
>not just an even more aggravating version of a Frenchman

Aquinas and Sartre I would both punch for having disturbing faces. More of a gut reaction than anything.

>>4984865
>this
>not damage control

>>4984867

Sartre's face makes me think he must have been punched one time too many.

>>4984869
>thread about how punchable various philosophers' faces are
>damage

You may very well need a coffee break, friend.

>>4984867
>>4984872
back up your claims
post pics, morons

>>4983716
>he thinks we wasn't

>>4984872
No, even as a young guy, there's something about Sartre's face which reminds me of some form of Renfield and makes every fibre of my being desire to punch him and run away from the village. Does anyone know if anyone did clock him when he was alive? That would make me happy.

>>4984872
"control" was a poor choice of words too

>>4984867
Sartre, yes.
I want to beat this googly eyed bastard until his right eye goes as crazy as the left.

This guy, he just looks ridiculous. His head doesn't even remotely fit that wig, goddamn. I also don't like his writings anyway, worst rationalist.

>>4984900

He looks like he just gaffa-taped a bunch of black poodles to his head.

>>4983635
Even if you landed a hit, you'd only end up tearing open your knuckles against that brillo pad he calls a beard.

>>4983563
>>4983566
Witty looks exactly like Old Paul McCartney, I don't understand how people don't see it

>>4983635

Can someone screencap this? Hilarious.

Will to power punch his face off, am I right?

>>4984910

Sometimes Vicky looks like Michael Palin.

Goddamn. Words cannot capture the annoyingness of this face.

>>4984955
seriously him.
he was kind of a dick irl by all accounts, too.

>>4984955
>>4984976

>>4983630
I'm conflicted. I want to hurt him, but dude looks like he showers twice a week--I'd be worried about catching something.

>>4984983
>twice a week
>"Twize a week ishn't enough for you. Sarch bourgeois shing to say and so on and so forth"

After he'd said that you could probably punch him.

10/10 thread would lol again

>>4984955

>>4985004
He has some movie on Netflix, and it's literally two hours of him saying nothing of worth while butchering the English language.

>>4984982
Completely unrelated but Topkek

>>4985035
u w8

>>4983630
He looks like an ewok

I always thought Rousseau looked too human to be French.

>inb4 tips fedora

I'm a Christian but this guy's face is inexcusable

>>4983635
>and so on
Nice touch
I'm dead

>>4985100
>the Swiss
>more human than anybody

>>4983427
He looks strangely cuddly.

Thales wishes a nigga would come at him like that see what happens lil bitch get you shit split

>>4984976
not a philosopher

>>4983635
lel

>>4983592
Witty is my least punchable. I guess it's because of his bony face. I like bony faces.

Here's number 1 on my list, Jesus his fucking face. I know he gives the D, but damn...

Karl Marx, what a smug little fucker.

>>4985783
He looks like a 70-80's black guy in some music video.
>>4985785
>that spikey head

>>4983427
>he looks like he could push a woman down the stairs
10/10

>>4985783
Looks bro as fuck, and fullbearded he looks like a nice biology teacher

Best face so far

Spinoza is the shit, but oh my god tell me you wouldn't like to slap the chub right out of those cheeks.

>>4983562
He would also probably die from it, people with aids are really fragile.

>>4985870
What a pussy, walk it off.

>>4985893
He looks mentally retarded.

>>4983359
Agreed. He really sucked.

>>4985906

He was born with a cleft palate.

>>4983363
He fucked T. S. Eliot's wife, too.

c'mon

no Machiavelli

>>4984955

I'd seriously like to kill him if he wasn't already dead. Not only was he a prick to everyone around him, he seriously contributed to the popularity of postmodernism, which is truly abominable. He's got more than a punchable face - he's got a downright shankable face.

>>4985289

!JEWING LEVELS REACHING MAXIMUM!
!CAUTION ADVISED!

>>4986182
The Stanislavsky Szukalski caricature of him is hilarious, much punch

>>4983519
Read only discipline and punish. He's punch able alll right.
>capcha: translations welyea
Lololol

>>4983359
The fuck is John Dewy ITT

>>4986705

Well I dunno, where is he?


There he is!

That 'stache makes my fists a little itchy, but when you look at the mole it looks like he's being played in a move by De Niro. Kind of on the fence.

>>4986715
>there he is//dat stacge
Thanx based anon, lelelel: SAAAAAME haha HAAA

>>4985906
he was mentally retarded.

>>4984955
>Jacques Derrida (/ʒɑːk ˈdɛrɨdə/; French: [ʒak dɛʁida]; born Jackie Élie Derrida
How is one supposed to see this guy and not punch him, seriously

>>4986790
because he's handsome, maybe.

Crathes of Thebes was ugly. Partly becauwse he chose to live like a poor, but he's also said to have been deformed with a lame leg and hunched shoulders.[

This guy, on the other hand, even the dogs love him!

>>4986838

>>4983406

This x 1000

>>4984980

Source?

Clearly the French's contribution to punchable philosophers is outstanding. Not sure how to feel about it.

>>4986930
Look at this universal smug grin.

>>4986937
Looking down on your pathetic efforts to protect the citizens from an overbearing state.

>>4986937

Jesus, was he related to Voltaire >>4983452
? They obviously have the same punchable-gene.

>>4986930

I think it's Camus' Algerian upbringing that spared him. Environment can't be disregarded. Would so love to have a beer with Albert.

>He doesn't reconcile the intrinsically recursive nature of the significant with the negative of the self!
>laughingpsychanalystfollowers.jpg

>>4983562

>>4986945
Would love to do some more with Camus though...
He's turning this whole generation gay, involuntary.

>>4987132
how

>>4986962
>huge fggt
Seriously, fuck that guy with AIDS

>>4986886
this is well documented but i have a first hand account, my philosophy teacher studied at normale sup while he taught there and said he was pretty much the epitome of a smarmy douchebag.

>>4987160
>Jacques, would you pass me the salt please?
1pass verb \ˈpas\

: to move past someone or something

: to move past someone or something that is moving more slowly in the same direction

: to move or go into or through a particular place

1salt noun \ˈsȯlt\

: a natural white substance that is used especially to flavor or preserve food

: a chemical compound formed when part of an acid is replaced by a metal or something like a metal

>>4987165
passe-moi le Schtroumpf

>>4984920

>>4986856
Bitches live Diogenes

My dream is Dawkins and Plantinga punching each other to death.

>>4984976
Would curb stomp and/or slap the objective unholy fuck out of

>>4983406
>liberal neocon Jew
this guy is beyond fedora-tier, blue state Muslim-hating Nazi

>>4983657
Malebranche? Fucker's materialist, French and contemporary of Decartes, off the to of my head / would demolish his face

>>4986930
Don't forget her lazy-eye boyfriend.

>>4989275
He was already mentioned. He's a qt3.14

>>4990054
*tips fedora*

Look at this pudgy motherfucker. If he lived today he would probably post on reddit and obsess over MLP or some bullshit.

>tfw no man is strong enough to penetrate your aura of glory and touch you with a malicious intent

>>4983389
i like these, you certainly can read people from mere appearance

>>4983406
Who is that?

>>4990208
richard denett

>>4990138

Well, he probably does. Imagine all of them are time travelers, and their works, testimonies of the success of those travels.

>>4983427
That doesn't mean his face is punchable. I want to cuddle with him.

>>4983406
What can you possibly agree with Sam Harris about? Since everything he says is wrong, I want to know so I can correct you.

>>4983359

>french

no

>>4990978

Thanks, that's only been pointed out around eight times so far.

I maintain that he is a spiritual Frenchman and point to the picture as my evidence.

>>4990991
>implying he was french

>>4983630
Looks like the Czechoslovakian Paulie and Chris chase through Pine Barrens in one of the Sopranos episodes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7vBbEG0zH0

Just imagine its him.

>>4991964
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6VnAdxMaeU

This one is the scene.

>>4983592
>>4983615

Nobody home. Nobody at all.

>>4992010

They just caught Vicky in a spergout moment, that's all.

>>4987234
Look at those stereotypical old-man clothes. Deserves a full beatdown.

>>4992175

I bet his waistband is a clear inch above his navel. He probably smells like pee.

I would honestly kill Focault if I had the chance.
That deranged homosexual pedophile scum and his stupid fucking writing. I'd just love to ruin that big wide nose and that silly David Cross smile and stupid bald head.

>>4985534
Descartes is adorable, though maybe I'm just biased because I love his work. He has one of the least punchable faces in philosophy

>>4992029
he looks like peter capaldi there

>>4983514
isnt he the guy that wants to make bestiality legal?

Rousseau is charming as fuck.
Now Voltaire, that's a punchable face.

>>4994032

Not as much as RD Laing does.

>>4994204

Fuck off, Hume's a total broface.

I'm surprised nobody posted him yet

>>4994204
Came here to post that smug faggot

>>4995988
>1748
>not broing it up with Hume over brandy and billiards

>>4994204
I could never punch the face of an utter genius.
>>4995988
>Jelly.

>>4994204
>>4995988
>wanting to punch such a based cuddly man
fuck off you hacks

>>4996047

He looks like a maiden aunt who just caught her nephew fapping. I'd clean his clock for him, alright.

>>4983389
>>4983363
>>4983359
Haha love these posts.

>>4996047
he'd feel he full f=ma of my fist xD

>>4985035

>>4992225
Woah there buddy chill out