/lit/ - Literature

Read this
*unzips dick*

I didn't say I was a writer, but I've written some above average shit you could read if you'd like. Or, we could make some spaghetti.

You know what, you sit around, read my dribble, and I'll be back in 15 minutes with spaghetti and wine.

No, no, it's not even the slightest trouble. Enjoy yourself!

>>4970635

>s-sorry it's just a f-first draft. i'll let you r-read it when it's f-finished

>>4970643
*looks at dick*

>Sure, read this!
>"And then anon and brunette qt had sex"
>You're funny anon!
>Hehe, yeah... Funny.

Fml

>>4970643
your dick has a zip??? wtf mang

>so you draw anon?
>can you draw me?

>so do you make music anon?
>do you play like in a band?

>so, do yo do computer programming anon?
>omg make an iphone game like candy crush and become rich!

That's why I'm a brewer
>omg anon you brew beer
>hell yeah give me half a year and I will brew you the best pseudo lambic you have ever had
....

>>4970672
>>>/ic/
>>>/mu/
>>>/g/

>This thread
>>>/v/
>>>/b/
>>>/pol/

>Myself
>>>/h/
>>>/e/
>>>/r/
>>>/e/

>>>/f
>>>/o/
>>>/r/
>>>/e/
>>>/v/
>>>/e/
>>>/r/

IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IN GENERAL ONE WOULD BE HESITANT OR EVEN EMBARRASSED TO SHARE THEIR WORK WITH A PERSON THEY FIND ATTRACTIVE OUT OF FEAR OF MESSING UP

>>4970635
I've never written anything worth reading
>wool sweater catches on a rosebush
>sweating intensifies

>>4970635
>Sure, meet me at random open mic saturday night.

>>4970677
>going to all the effort to learn how to brew good beer
>brew the wildest, most undisciplined style
I and my double imperial oak aged black pils laugh at you.

>>4970702
i wouldn't

I have barely written a thing in a decade. I dread this question.

I hope you're interested in a 250k word philosophical novel overflowing with excerpts from and allusions to Greek culture and philosophy.

YES YOU CAN YOU FUCKING PISS SLUT


i will create a new category
on my instant messenger buddy list

i will call it
'people i like who don't like me back'

and i will move your screen name into that group
and i will invite you to my house

and you will say, 'if i didn't like you why did i come over'
and you will look into my eyes
and i will have an honest answer for your question
i will tell you that you came over to be polite

and after a while you will go home
and you won't call
and i won't either
and after a while i won't like you anymore
and after a while we'll forget each other
and after a while you will be beautiful and alone inside your coffin
and i'll be cold and alone inside of mine

>>4970668
came here to say this

>gf asks me this

nOOOooooooooo

>so you're a rapist anon?
>could you rape me? :3

>>4971648
>have to prompt bf to ask me this

Sure; but, it's about some bitch who wants to read an unknown writer's work.

>>4971640

ladies and gentlemen, steve roggenbuck

No. Bitch I don't know you.

>>4970635
>Ok.

>tfw mortician
>nobody asks about my job or if I can show off my talent

b-best embalmer this side of the mississipi I tell you what...

>>4970668
>>4971645
I needed surgery you unsensitive gobshites

>>4971661

Black dude detected

White people would never respond in such a cool way

>>4970668

Can't decide whether to be cut or uncut? WHY NOT BOTH with the new ezy-use Foreskin Zipper!

>amaze all your moihel friends! And their wives!

>>4970668
>>4971645
>>4971689

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/unzips-dick

>>4971664
>tfw someone is very interested in your work and you're a mortician
yes we put embalming fluid there too... why are you interested? John? Are you ok, John?

>>4970643

>>4971710
hows the pay? I've put some honest thought behind being a mortician