/lit/ - Literature

2/2

I'm supposed to critique this kid's proposal for a short story (2500 words)

Should I just become an hero?

I took it once too, biggest waste of time ever. The first assignment we had to do was just a short story of like 5 pages. This one guy showed up to class with a 150 page screen play for some las vegas casino heist movie.

He was pissed that nobody wanted to read it and the prof gave him a 0.

>>4967563
Just write 10/10, would bang in red ink and hand it back to him.

>>4967575
that sounds fun

BRAVO
why are you so upset, OP

>servile mutants overtaking automatons, security and equipped infantry

oh im laffin

>>4967563
>>4967572
This is a good time for you to learn the lesson of humility and good faith. Instead of being an insecure little faggot and crowing to your e-peers on 4chan about your supposed superiority, you should fulfill the assignment as intended and try to understand why your criticism of your peers is hypocritical.

>>4967575
I forgot he even like two pages where he just listed all the characters and have brief descriptions. He seriously described one character as "Hooker with a heart of gold".

>>4967595
>"Hooker with a heart of gold"

>>4967563
>in a week they took over all levels of government. in a month, the economy collapsed

how did the underground mutants keep the economy going for almost a month?

>>4967609
OP this is the question you need to ask.

>>4967609
they didn't. it collapsed.

>>4967572
just do it.
do it honestly and constructively.

you knew what you were getting yourself into when you signed up for this course..... stop feeling sorry for yourself

>>4967575
>This one guy showed up to class with a 150 page screen play for some las vegas casino heist movie.
>He seriously described one character as "Hooker with a heart of gold".

was he christopher from the sopranos?

>>4967563
>>4967572
So what criticisms do you have, OP?

>>4967682
BOOKYAK

>>4967563
Stopped reading at '18 years passed'.

>not humanizing 18
>first word of a paragraph

Rookie mistakes, chief.

>>4967563
>>4967572
What's wrong with this?

>>4967563
m-my proposal...

>>4967563
Everyone has to start somewhere. Give him credit for recognising that he needs training and constructive feedback, just as you have, and do what you've been asked to. If he can't take the concrit, then you are free to mock him internally.

>>4967719
People never take a creative writing class because they genuinely want to grow as a writer. People take them solely on the foundation that they think they're creative and they want people to tell them that their stories are good.

Yes, I'm projecting extremely hard right now.

>>4967572
>As Callum holds onto the dying Asha, he reveals that his mother was pregnant with his baby sister when she was murdered by the telepathic mutant.

>>4967712
What does humanizing a number mean?

He needs to world build better. We have no idea how these supernatural mechanisms operate or even exist. Everything sounds elementary and arbitrary without it. This, in my opinion, should be the largest part of the critique.

Here is hoping he actually is trying to improve.

>>4967563
Your only comment on this should be
>>This is a summary not a story.

Wait that's the entire story? I thought it was a brief description of the story he was going to write.

>>4967563
IF YOU GO TO /CO/ THEY WILL SHOW YOU THE MARVEL TIMELINE THIS IS FUCKING
>DIRECTLY
STOLEN FROM

THIS IS PLAGERISM, I AM SO SERIOUS CHILD
>DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN

>>4967773
That was pretty much my experience. The girls who take it are usually laid back and like "Well i just like being creative and doing creative stuff and i want to get a job being creative and creativity is good and blah blah blah" Then they get all pissy and start crying when it becomes obvious to everyone that they dont have a creative bone in their body.

Guys are more like "Dude, i'm going to just blow everyone away with my stuff. My shit is so good, they dont know what hit them!" Then when it becomes obvious to everyone that they dont have a creative bone in their body they're just like "Well you all suck, and you're all plebs any"ways, so who cares? I'm the best writer in the world, you're just all losers and cant handle it.

I'm this guy btw. >>4967575. That was the attitude this guy show up with. He's like "5 page short story? Hah, thats for fucking plebs. I'm going to show them how a real writer works, i'm going to to bust out my fucking screenplay, blow all those fuckers away!" It was pretty funny when the prof was like "uh....you expect us to read all this?" and gave him a 0 for not following the instructions.

Jesus Christ that was so cliche it hurt me physically.

>>4967841
I'm just finishing a creative writing MA, and the people on my course for the most part have been humble and grateful for feedback. A couple of the guys thought they were the best writers since Kafka, but they grew out of it. We've all improved a heck of a lot, it was worth the money.

>>4967563
is this at college or where? my college creative writing classes were good. we took them in a series of three quarters. the lesser writers tended to not continue after the first quarter.

the extension classes i took were good too. at $300ish a pop, only serious people signed up.

hell, even the writing group held at the surban senior center i attended had mostly good people. i think it was because they were older. i didn't like their critique format (read aloud, no hardcopies to other classmates for rereading and in-depth comments) so i dropped it.

my post-nanowrimo critique group has writers of various levels but a couple of us are kinda good.

>>4967823
I think they were supposed to write a proposal outlining the basic plot of the story.

My cw class in high school was a joke. We spent a third of the whole semester working on creating children's books and I mean CREATING. it turned into a fucking arts and crafts affair. We spent another third of it becoming pen pals with like 4th graders who we then had to present our children's book to. It was much better in college.

>>4967563
I got you beat. Guess what the guy who wrote this looks like. You'd probably be write.

http://pastebin.com/hDtvXiEn

>>4967978
>Guess what the guy who wrote this looks like.
Short, lean, ginger, goes around with a weird black and white mask?

>>4967984
The first two were correct. He has a dirty blond ponytail with visible dandruff, and he wears a fedora occasionally.

>>4967880
Where'd you take it?

>>4967563
Speaking as one who enjoys /tg/s write threads I can I'm more open to the more fantastic stories.
But come on.

>>4967978
>>4967999

>>4968002
North East UK.

>OP still hasn't actually provided any meaningful critique
Sorry, OP, I can't do better than an F.

>>4967830
/co/ is of the opinion that it is X-Men fan fiction, but not stolen directly. More like "inspired by."

>>>/co/62435011

As a science major I wanted to take another English class to improve my writing. From what posters are saying, a beginner's Creative Writing class might not be helpful. Should I instead take one of the many literature classes and write in my spare time?

>>4968099
shut up you retard stem autist. go buy a fedora you worthless positivist piece of scum

>>4967575
Sounds like a cool guy to be honest. I'd buy him a beer

>>4967978
Sort of reads like Tao Lin

I tried searching for creative writing courses in my area but they all seem to be MA courses at universities. Is that what people mean by this or are there more casual weekly or bi-monthly groups and such? If so how do you find such things?

>>4968101
Chill out, you fucking super faggot.

>>4968099
Why dont you take a technical writing, or business writing class?

>>4968101
How fucking 4chanized can you be.

>>4967978
That's actually really good. As already mention, Tao Lin-esque. Would probably buy a book written by him.

>>4968077
>thread actually contains some criticism
Whelp, /co/'s beating /lit/.

>>4968124
>how do you find such things?
I'd like to know this as well

>>4968149
That post has nothing to do with being on 4chan, and everything to do with the poster being a moron who can't capitalise, make grammatical or even logical sense.

>>4968171
>being a moron
>nothing to do with 4chan

Really? Really?? Are you sure?

The first paragraph lacks a certain sense of "by" or "how". Too little background, or perhaps just poorly executed.

>semblance

Take away his thesaurus and replace it with a dictionary, one that tiers the definitions by common most usage, and tear out everything after the second.

Eh, what the hell. I'll read the whole thing.

>>4968142
So far I've taken the general English class, a research writing class, and a modernism literature class. I really enjoyed the lit class and I have free electives that need assigning.

>In a week, they took over all levels of government.

Try this:

>In a week, they replaced the government.

A touch of concision adds to the story, in my opinion. It sleekly skirts the glaring 'how?' issue, kicking it down the road into the story where it belongs - he mentions telepathic manipulation shortly after.

Come on OP - you can do this, don't be a dick, just try to help a bit. This isn't that hard.

Speaking of concision, I'd dump this sentence:

>Humanity never stood a chance.

I suppose it could be pushed toward the end of that paragraph, or set it up as it's own paragraph after the first (with additional changes), but it doesn't add anything to the other descriptions shown. Weak and redundant, drop it.

OP, you don't even have to kill yourself going through the whole thing. See how much you can convey with just the first paragraph?

Skim a few other glaring examples, give a helpful suggestion for each, and submit.

Quick and painless and fulfilling the assignment.

Last two.

Superhumans or mutants, pick on or the other. The images portrayed by such singular word choices are vastly different. I suspect he's seeing in his minds eye blond, blue eyed Aryan super-humans, rather than shambling horrors.

Finally, blasting through all the rest it's obvious he's summarizing instead of story telling. The old show not tell. Show him how to paint a picture with words, for just one of the scenes he has crammed in there.

In the words of another creative writing venue, you owe the Oracle metaphorical simile delivered in heroic couplet.

>>4967609
Did a better job than the US government

ha chatta cha cha

>>4967802
i'm guessing just writing eighteen

>>4968647

'Verbalising' seems way more apt, though not quite right. We want something like 'literating' except for it to actually be a word.

Or we could not give a fuck about writing numerals, which suits me to a T, honestly.

This is so different from the writing I got to read in my creative writing class at college. Half of it was rape feminist guilt literature (I don't know how else to describe it) the other half was straight up porn.

>>4967841
That's pretty funny. Especially because CW courses usually have a larger final project which he probably could have handed it in for.

>>4967984
Tell your teacher he literally stole the plot from No Game No Life and added western humour.

>>4967609
>yfw it turns out to be an actual economic manifesto

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM7H0ooV_o8

>>4967563

Do they not know how to press tab?

>>4967563

So, they ripped of Shade's Children a little?

>>4969314

>Off

I really disappoint myself sometimes.

>>4967563
If that's the standard I' applying to iowa tomorrow.

>>4967563
>>4967572
I just shittalked the idiots who never said anything back. I literally said things like "I would not read this book, the story is awful and cliche" to the other people. I absorbed their works. No one ever got mad at me, even though I can see discomfort when they read my review.

The other people in the class were very interesting to me. I loved talking to this one batshit 60-year-old woman the most

I knew the prof beforehand though since I was a child, so that might have made the class better

>>4968681
You should write out all numbers unless they are very long, such as 1,312,000 or something

>>4969351
>You should write out all numbers unless they are very long

I really don't think it's necessary in most contexts. I will admit that sometimes it's jarring, but it's only because of tone, not because of some actual rule. In passages where numerals aren't hostile to the tone, there's just no point.

Like, I will happily admit that

"The darkness drops again; but now I know
That 20 centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"

... lacks a certain something. But will you tell me that "I tried to call her 3 times and there was no answer" suffers anything?

>>4969373
>But will you tell me that "I tried to call her 3 times and there was no answer" suffers anything?

Yes, it looks stupid compared to "I tried to call her three times and there was no answer"

>>4969373
I definitely reckon that would read better as 'three'.

>>4967841

>"you expect us to read all this?"

Is 150 pages too long for americans or something? I read that in 25~30 minutes.

>>4969444
sure you do.

>>4969450

Do you think that's an impressive time?

>>4969458
No, not really, seeing how it's a lie.

>>4969444
>>4969458
>speed reading
Not even once.

>>4969463
Why do you think it's a lie?

>>4969444
So you suggest that, even if you can read that fast, that the entire class should spend a half hour on one person's dumb assignment?

>>4969478
dont reply

>>4969475
'cause it is.

>>4969474
It's like the crossfit of reading

I had to do Writing Fiction as a unit at uni and literally every girl would write a story, 1200 or 2500 words, about the exact same thing.

Some girl, early 20s, gets the dream job (usually fashion or real estate), meets the dream guy, lives happily with dream guy until they break up, the girl gets to focus on her job then meets back up with the dream guy and lives happily ever after.

The guy would always be rich too, which is why all the real estate protagonists would meet the dream guy while showing him around a house.

No joke, every girl's story followed that exact formula. All except for the goth looking girl from criminal psychology who wrote some "twisted" version of Red Riding Hood.
Red Riding Hood still fell in love with the edgy wolf man though.

There was one really good 1200 word story a guy wrote though. It was pretty impressive. It was set in a Blade Runner style kinda cyberpunk future and was about sex androids.

>>4969511
>All except for the goth looking girl from criminal psychology who wrote some "twisted" version of Red Riding Hood.
>Red Riding Hood still fell in love with the edgy wolf man though.
so it's the same thing except with a slightly different tone

>>4967563
>>4967572
It reads like a blurb or the back of a shitty VHS cover.

I took the class, and I got some good practice and discipline for writing poetry/stories.

Got me jumpstarted after spending god knows how many years of me saying I wish to write again.

One guy was a particular pain with all his works. It was some 20 year old guido dude. His last submit for a short story was a 15 page paper that was filled with so many crime cliches, it put the 80's to shame.

Last day outside, he read 8 pages of it.

We weren't allowed to say if something was terrible, just positively constructive, which made feedback a lot more difficult.

I had a guy in my class write a comedic retelling of when he got dressed in a suit and tried to get back his ex.

The tutor flat out said it was too awkward to mark.

>>4969549
Ok but that could be good. Awkward comedy is a thing.

>>4969549
That actually sounds interesting, unless he shoehorned in him being successful.

I'd read about an awkward fuck always failing.

>>4969511

One girl in my class basically just wrote a diary. She just created some fictional character, and had everything that happened to her in real life happen to the character. For such a good looking girl, she lived a boring life.

It was interesting to have that insight into a woman's mind. She seemed way more concerned about who called her, what her friends were up to, who said what to whom, than anything else going on in her life.

>>4969563
>She seemed way more concerned about who called her, what her friends were up to, who said what to whom, than anything else going on in her life.

So, a woman.

>>4969444
150 pages isn't a short story.

>>4969511
>It was set in a Blade Runner style kinda cyberpunk future and was about sex androids.
That sounds just as stupid as the Red Riding Hood one.

>>4969555
>>4969557
It was meant to be comedic but ended up just him telling us how he hired a suit then parked outside his ex's house. He then slams back thee Mothers while waiting nervously outside her house. He eventually goes onto her front porch, knocks on the door and kneels in wait. When she answers the door and sees him there, asking for her back, his ex flat out tells him to fuck off and stop crying on his porch.

I'm not sure if the end was a joke or not, but there was something about a restraining order.

The man that wrote it was in his late 20s and was a self-described writer. He said he was doing the course as research for his treasured 'manuscript' that he's been sitting on for four years. He said it's a comedic masterpiece, but still very deep in the research phase.

>>4967572
>short story proposal

what the fuck?

>>4969474

You don't need to read every sentence a writer types. Most of them are really redundant or add irrelevant stuff to make the book seem "big".

Whenever a writer starts describing shit for the third time, you can skip it. You don't need to know how the herbs grow at the riverside of the Anduin and so on.

>>4969478

The guy was an idiot for writing that much for a dumb class like creative writing but if he did write it, the least the people should do is read it. For a class about being creative, the professor sure was a stuck-up bitch who wants to play by the rules of 'muh assignment'. If he wants to have a surpriseless, tamed class he shouldn't be teaching creative writing.

One thing that everyone did was try and put a big twist at the end of their short stories.

Can a short story be 'good' in a general sense without a twist or something?

>>4969373
Vonnegut does this gimmick in Hocus Pocus. Honestly by the end of the book I didn't even notice it anymore.

>>4969576

I second that. Extremely generic cyberpunk setting with stereotypical 'look how gritty this world is' characters, like a sex android.

>>4969591
Sounds like he would post spaghetti stories on 4chan.
>>4969617
>sex android
>gritty

>>4969612
If the prose is good and the characters make you smile to read them, yes.

>>4969612
"Twists" are a pretty cheap trick a lot of bad writers use. Basically they make a story thats predictable and cliche, but then they're going to turn it around by adding a twist at the end. Problem is most of the twists are predictable and cliche also.

>>4969606
>You don't need to read every sentence a writer types. Most of them are really redundant or add irrelevant stuff to make the book seem "big".

>Whenever a writer starts describing shit for the third time, you can skip it. You don't need to know how the herbs grow at the riverside of the Anduin and so on.

there has never been more obvious bait folks

>>4969653

Why? Did I write anything unreasonable?

>>4969644
i blame tv entertainment for the large scale diffusion of this shit.

>>4969665
just fuck off

>>4969576
>>4969617
>>4969621
It was about how sex androids practically replaced human prostitutes and it was pretty hard to not tell the difference apparently unless you really cared.

But you see, people would pay extra for a real human prostitute, and the story kind of centers around one of these human prostitutes.

So some guy hires her and she confirms she's the real deal and he's like "awww yeah you can't do this with the other ones" and proceeds to beat her and fuck her quite violently.

It ends with the prostitute crying in the bathroom of her apartment. She punches her reflection in the bathroom mirror and uses the broken glass to slash her wrists.

But instead of veins and blood spurting from her torn flesh, wires and circuitry pop and and it is revealed she is just another android

It was written way way better than I just described it. Definitely didn't come off as edgy.
I might have kept it actually but cbf finding it,

>>4969644
I guess it's a good and easy way to end a short story for people who have never really written much before.

>>4969671
sounds like he likes p. k. dick
you can see the twist coming a mile before, i would still read it though.

>>4969644
>not enjoying the twist at the end of nabokov's "the vane sisters"

>>4969671
That actually sounds pretty good. I didn't see the twist coming, but that's because I thought it was more about the loss of humanity through technology than the actual sci-fi thing. I'd read it gladly.

>>4969671
Well, it's a pretty direct ripoff of Blade Runner, but there's certainly worse sources to copy.

breti gud

>>4969671
>It was about how sex androids practically replaced human prostitutes and it was pretty hard to not tell the difference apparently unless you really cared.
>But you see, people would pay extra for a real human prostitute, and the story kind of centers around one of these human prostitutes.

So he read that K. Dick's book and decided to copy it. Got it. He literally just replaced the electric animals with 'electric' humanoids and made a short story that could very well be a spin-off for it.

I miss my creative writing course. I wrote so much back then because I was motivated and now I write nothing.

>>4969678
Twists can defintely be done well, but most writers use them as a crutch to cover up the fact that they're writing predictable bullshit.

>>4967563
>>4967572
meh, aside from a few mistakes, it could have been A LOT worse. I've corrected papers from people who can't even construct a paper half as good as this. Stop being a faggot OP, critique it. I bet your writing isn't any good either.

>>4969725
A good "twist" is something that's alluded to enough that it won't really be a surprise to a close reader, but rather satisfy a nagging suspicion that will have developed during the course of the story.

When you do some M. Night Shyamalan bullshit where the whole plot suddenly and unexpectedly changes at the last moment, it's bad storytelling.

>>4967673
oh shut the fuck up
even the majority of /lit/ can write better than this shit

>>4969743
Unbreakable was excellent though. Only M night film I enjoy re-watching on any level.

Sixth Sense was only really good for that first watch, then Signs started showing him as the one trick pony deal.

>>4969606
>he's never read anything but surface level

>>4969314
I loved this book. First book which actually gripped me and made me want to read it.

Tho I was like, 12-13 I think.

I still loved all the different Overlords and shit. Black Banner, Red Diamond, and I always remember that little Silver Sun monologue at the end.

For some reason I never got into Sabriel/Lirael/Abhorsen, but Shade's Children was awesome.

>>4968219
I always struggled with this in peer editing...how do you correct something that needs to be heavily rewritten without A) doing it for them or B) giving them shitty notes like "confusing" or "rephrase"

>>4967563
>>4967572
see
>>4969732

>>4967563
Superhumans are all the rage

>>4969791
I like the underwater level

>>4970017
superhumans and dark sci fi is popular and will stay popular for a couple of years. its sad cause i like sci fi and superpower things but 90% of it is shit

>>4969707
Dealing with that right now as I shitpost on /lit/ :(

>>4967563
lol I know that feel OP, here's a story I saved from my short story class. fucking 400 level class and we had to read this shit:

It’s such a typical story: a girl falls in love with a boy, but that isn’t the interesting part. Allow me to explore what develops between these two lovers.

Meet Fey, from her appearance she simply just seems like your average awkward fifteen year old. Sadly, despite her effort, she cannot seem to blend in. Partial to bohemian style dresses and vintage clothing, Fey is always noticed. Throughout her entire life she has always dreamed of acting on Broadway, which meant that she was always overly dramatic and seeking peoples attention.

Fey is a complete romantic at heart, but would never let anyone know that or see that. She takes most of her emotions hides them or lets them out only through anger. Needless to say she is an extremely healthy person. Even though she is a die-hard romantic, she has never been in a relationship or even had her first kiss yet. It has to be special and with the right person. She had no idea just how special that first kiss could be, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

There was a boy, there always is, who caught Fey’s attention. He was in the same English class and we had the same interpretation about a book that the class was reading. We were the only two people in the class that agreed… Well Fey saw him, Ben, and thought that he was kind of cute and obviously had similar ideas. So they started to sit next to each other and flirt a little bit. So much flirting that it is ridiculous how long it took them to finally kiss.

Even with all the flirting when they were young nothing happened, but they got to be really close friends. This was safer anyway because relationships mean vulnerability and that leads to heartbreak. Not a path that sounds inviting. They both eventually ended up dating other people, and just being best friends. Now when I say that they were best friends, that is not to say that every single person that they knew were convinced that they were in love with each other. The most significant example is Fey’s mother.

“I don’t know why you are with this guy. You should be dating Ben, he always makes you happy.”

“Mom we don’t like each other like that! We are just friends.”

“I see the way that he looks at you, and you can’t deny that you liked him once.”

“No mom, it isn’t like that. Anyway, I’m with someone else and he has a girlfriend.”

>>4970031
This was just one occasion, she told Fey multiple times that she and Ben will be together. How close the two got didn’t help either of their cases. It just become more frequent that they heard that they were flirting or that one was in love with the other one. All of it was bullshit.

Fey prides herself on not being easy to read. She does not let people into her mind or even show that much emotion to people. Some of her closest friends have to pry her open for information about what is upsetting her. For some reason, Fey was always extremely open with Ben, and went to him with any of her problems. Now that did not mean that she was about to let him into her mind. The idea of someone reading minds is terrifying.

“Ben I had the craziest dream last night and I need to tell someone about it. You were in it but it wasn’t you, but it was your essence. Does that even make sense? Never mind it doesn’t matter I just want to tell you the story. Okay so it was me but I didn’t look like myself. We were in France during the renaissance and I was wearing this gorgeous blue ball gown, and came into at ornately beautiful ballroom filled with elegant people dancing and enjoying a party. At this moment it became clear that I was so sort of royalty or at least someone important. I was just gracefully dancing and chatting with different people at the party. I hadn’t noticed you there yet, but then shit got real. So I was up on a small stage looking down at people dancing when not of nowhere someone started shooting at me. You jumped out of the crowd and grabbed me stopping me from being killed. The last thing I remember is starring into your eyes. Then I woke up. I can’t even tell you how real this dream was, and how much it felt like reality.”

“Ben what’s wrong? Why do you have that weird look on your face?”

“Fey, I had that exact dream last night… and I woke up feeling like it had actually happened”

“Seriously don’t fuck with me. I have enough trouble trying to figure out if my dreams are real or not. This isn’t funny.”

“Don’t’ get mad. I’m dead serious. I had that dream also.”

>>4970035
They met eyes and both had a mutual look of dismay. How could they be so connected that they were dreaming the same things now? It only started with Ben having the same idea about a book and then this. It was utterly unbelievable.

Connecting dreams was one thing, but Ben started to be able to read Fey’s mind. Not in the way that a super hero is able to hear all of someone’s thoughts, but more basic like he was able to tell anytime something was wrong and be able to figure it out without her having to tell him anything specific. Naturally, she decided to pull away from him because this was so terrifying.

Five years down the road and they are closer friends than ever, but here comes alcohol ready to change all of the dynamics. Tequila is one hell of a drink. There relationship had always been flirty and it was not abnormal for them to cuddle and be completely relaxed with one another. Well this evening was not just being comfortable together. Ben was spending the night, and they were already drunk so pajamas were on, and they were watching a stupid romantic comedy. Fey, without thinking, just fed Ben a piece of popcorn, and then went over to lie on his chest. It felt like an eternity was spent just staring at Ben waiting for a kiss. Five years were spent waiting to see what that final kiss would feel like. Maybe it would be nothing and he was simply just a good friend. Finally, Ben couldn’t fight the urge any longer and passionately pulled Fey closer and kissed her like she had never been kissed before. Their entire history raced through her head, but all she could feel was her heart soaring. It was as if her heart flew out of her body. That moment was the most passion that either of them had ever felt.. The five years was well worth the wait for the kiss that proved they were soul mates.

“Fey, I love you. I have always loved you.”

“I love you too and could never stop loving you.”

I’ll tell you a little secret that Fey and Ben will have to learn through the ages; love has no boundaries. It is a strong, undeniable force that attracts two people together for eternity.

I would say creative writing courses are a waste of time, but in all honesty they can be a great help. Most of what others will write will be cringe worthy. Including your own stuff. The difference is when you get up and read it to the class you will realize first hand how bad your writing is and where you went wrong.

>Take creative writing class
>chubby quickly on her way to being a landwhale girl comes into class dressed all in black clutching a copy of H.P. Lovecraft Complete Collection book
>First assignment I have to critique her writing
>It's a chapter from the book she is working on
>Story about a drifter girl who gets a job at a small town diner that is owned by a werewolf in a town of werewolves
>mysterious but handsome werewolf falls in love with her
>he is a lone wolf who isn't part of the pack
>her twist is that having sex with werewolves turns you into a werewolf
>mfw she read her story out loud to the class and she has the worst lisp I've ever heard in my entire life.

>>4970031
>>4970035
>>4970038

I can't believe I read the whole thing. Wow, that is pure shit right there.

Is the writer, by any chance, overweight? What sort of person commits this to paper?

>>4970038
>she decided to pull away from his because this was so terrifying.
>next paragraph they fuck.

>>4970293
>>4970305
>tfw 'asha and the superhumans' looks patrician by comparison

>>4970031
>>4970035
>>4970038
Jesus fucking Christ
>He was in the same English class and we had the same interpretation about a book that the class was reading
>and we had the same interpretation about a book
>and we
>we
>noteventrying.jpg

>>4967575

Dude I would've given that kid a fucking A and told him he didn't have to attend anymore classes if I was his professortt

>>4969791
>he doesn't make precision cuts in the book's paper's edge to smell the inner meaning of the writing
What are you even doing on a literature board?

>>4967572
>OP still hasn't actually made any kind of critique

How are you supposed to critique a story proposal, though? The prose isn't really important, so all you're left with is plot. And good writing can elevate the most stupid plot.

>>4970038
>I’ll tell you a little secret that Fey and Ben will have to learn through the ages; love has no boundaries. It is a strong, undeniable force that attracts two people together for eternity.

>>4967595

>>4970031
>>4970035
>>4970038

>she did it for free

>>4969444
Consider how many works he has to read and mark, would you want to spend extra time on some entitled cunts shitty movie script?

>>4969511
One girl wrote a short story in my class about a 19 year old girl who kills this huge guy breaking into her house. She stormed out of the room crying because the teacher said 'How do you expect me to believe she can fireman lift this guy into the back of her car?' The teacher didn't even have an angry or mocking tone.

>>4967595

>>4967978
>http://pastebin.com/hDtvXiEn

The first 15 or so lines of this are actually really, really good -- it's when he adopts a more conventional narrative voice, for whatever Everquest or WoW game he's playing, that it starts falling apart.

If he found a way to make those sections read better then this would be some good shit.