/lit/ - Literature

>>4870944
10/10 haven't laughed a greentext in a long ass time.

I have the exact opposite problem with my GF.

Her pussy doesn't stink.

>use poopjugs
>don't smell anything anymore
>afraid this is because I'm desensitized to it
>read good book
>too afraid to lend it to any friends because the books might stink

>reading with the TV on

How can anyone do this? Shows like that mainly involve soft dialogue I can ignore fairly well, but for sitcoms with those fucking obnoxious laugh tracks, or reality shows that contain a plenitude of screaming it's absolutely impossible.

>that feel when no gf to experience humorous erotic moments with

>Can't read because annoying gf
>Can't concentrate because TV noises in the other rooms of the house

So this is why people read outside.

>>4870983
Is a poopjug what I think it is?

How do you not miss the jug hole?

>>4871001

I don't have a TV at home but in my girlfriend's bedroom I usually just put headphones in my ears and play some mellow music to counter the screaming of women fighting each other on the TV.

I used ear plugs before but she got all offended and weird about it so after a few nights of just going home she settled with me listening to some music.

>>4870983
How do you even...
da fuq
The mechanics there are mind-boggling.

>Reading
>Cat marks territory on me

>>4870944
holy shit, this is was a contributing factor into my ex cheating, and subsequently leaving, me.

Speaking personally, I've never had sex with anyone

>>4871006
>>4871015
>>4871020
Yes it is exactly what you think it is. It's not just me though, poopjug users are quite common on 4chan. I'm surprised this is your first time coming across one.

The small hole actually makes it more precise and harder to miss.

>>4871037
Would you please give me an explanation as to why you do this? I'm very curious.

My Gf doesn't read either and gets bored while I read. I always bring my kindle wherever I go just in case. I love her but Bitches need to get hobbies yo.

>>4871029

OP here, she does bitch at least once a day about my reading habit.

Thing is tho I made it clear before we got fully together that I like my alone time and to totally leave me the fuck alone for an hour after I'm home from work and the early hours of weekend mornings from 5:30 to 9:00.

She thinks I could be doing " Something more productive" with my time even tho she watches more TV than a 5 year old which I bring up when she's set on being a bitch to me.

>>4870944
>GF

0/10 sick troll

>>4871055

I never dated a girl who had hobbies.

Only girls who talk about getting hobbies.

>>4870944
To those of you with girlfriends who don't read at all: what do you talk about? I mean, I wouldn't want to talk about books all day with my girlfriend but that they don't read at all says to me that they must not be very interesting conversationalists. I wouldn't want to be with a girl who spent her time watching reality TV and sitcoms.

>>4871061
sauce on pic?

>>4871048
Bizarre question as it is second nature to me now
I'll ask you, why do you use Toilets?

>>4871084
Not him, but I found it. You've got to learn to use google!

http://igorsirotov.com/en/da-house.html

>>4871074

I'm usually the one who starts the conversations with something I've learned from reading that she might find interesting or I drive her out to some hidden place that surprises her and keeps her interest in me going.

I live in Los Angeles tho and my "reading circle" of friends I've met at drinking book events are either musicians, artists or writers who invite everyone out to little nice gatherings.

My OKcupid game is raw as fuck.

>>4871048
Saves water and energy and time

>>4871074
girls tend to have social lives and talk about other people and people at their jobs. asking about their day is usually enough to get a gf going on and on

>>4871098
why would I bother when my Internet friends will happily do it for me?

thanks!

>>4871092
Because I need to defecate and I know e coli is a hazard to my health, the toilet removes it from my living space. Why don't you use a toilet?

>>4871037
post pics

>>4871098
>>4871106

That little outdoor reading area looks cozy as fuck.

>>4871105
Then I haven't been missing out after all. Thanks for cheering me up.

>>4871115

>>4870944
I actually laughed out loud at this. Sucks for you,OP, but "do all your books smell like fucking pussy" is golden.

>>4871120

He nailed it.

I know everyone's personal life that my gf works with and I haven't even met them.

>>4871003

>>4871107
You do realize you put a lid or cap on the jug when not in use right?

Also, who wants to get up and go to the bathroom EVERY time you have to shit?
What if bathroom is occupied?

What if there are guests in the house?

>>4871156
>Also, who wants to get up and go to the bathroom EVERY time you have to shit?

Dude this is really not an issue for me. So there must also be peebottles then?

>tfw gf is sleeping with the travel book from siberia she was reading

>>4871167
Take pic of feet pls

I don't know how you can deal with that shit. There are plenty of girls who read interesting books or don't waste their time on reality TV.

>>4871176

Those girls always ignored me

>>4871176
>I don't know how you can deal with that shit. There are plenty of girls who read interesting books or don't waste their time on reality TV.

You can also organize better. My fiancee watches bullshit tv sometimes, some things I watch with her every once in a while if I feel like it (watching aspiring models while drinking whiskey can almost be okay). Otherwise she watches shit and I read or play guitar or pc games in a different room

>>4871182
my wife also watches dragqueens while i laugh drunken;y, otherwise she reads zadie or jhumpa

>>4871182

But they still do it, and you're opting to share a living space with this person. I guess I have female privilege. I would never get involved with a dude that prattled on about sports, hunting, swag, rap, or anything I deemed insipid and time wasting.

>>4871185
>zadie or jhumpa
both of which are perfectly respectable writers

How does it feel to have a successful relationship? I just have a bunch of failures that never started.

>>4871199
>implying you have decent taste in literature
>implying you can judge other people

>>4871162
Yes but that's not worth mentioning.
First of all, if you have a poopjug it goes without saying you have a piss bottle* (or in my case a piss jug so I don't have to empty it as frequently. )

Second of all, piss bottles are very, VERY common. I'd say maybe up to 5% of 4chan uses them if you don't include boards like /b/ or /soc/. It is quite normal.

*some people use 1 jug for both shit and piss, I don't as it is quite messy to deal with.

>>4871204

Yeah I didn't judge them, I just said I couldn't do it, and I didn't know how they did.

>>4871037
pics?

>>4871214
>I would never get involved with a dude that prattled on about sports, hunting, swag, rap, or anything I deemed insipid and time wasting.

>>4871156
>You do realize you put a lid or a cap on the jug when not in use right?
It's still not sanitary.

>Also, who wants to get up and go to the bathroom EVERY time you have to shit?
This might be the laziest sentence I've ever read.
>Who wants to get up and go sit somewhere for 15 minutes twice a day?

>What if bathroom is occupied?
Wait 10 minutes, and it won't be. Have more than one bathroom. There are obvious solutions that don't include keeping shit in a jug.
>What if there are guest in the house
In what way does this limit toilet usage?

>>4871203
You always want to fuck other people to a degree, and you get to be a douchebag after a year or two rather than deal with her arguing with you underhandedly by just kissing ass. unless she is insane. Also you can basically get girls into whatever cool thing you like if they aren't retarded consumerists, but they tend to have little passion.

>>4871218

Yep, that's not a judgement of the person, just the topics. Reading comprehension brush up is in your future!

>>4871226
>Also you can basically get girls into whatever cool thing you like
This.
I got my GF into Mishima and Dostoevsky. She was initially reluctant to leave YA, however when I read a passage from Spring Snow by Mishima, she was hooked.

>>4871232
Holy shit, are all women dullards?

>>4871210

>up to 5% of 4chan
>It is quite normal.

>>4871232
It appears to me that you are the one that needs to brush up on "reading comprehension", and grammar.

>>4871241

Gee, I hope not. Wouldn't that be disappointing.

>>4871223
who shits twice a day? an old man maybe.

>>4871241

Ooh, the 4chan strawman! I wish I could fall back on misogyny in arguments I'm losing :( Any other bros wanna whip their cocks out and keep this circle jerk going?

>>4871246
There's one...

>>4871241
Yes but don't act like it or they will cry

>>4871245
Do you have any idea how many people browse 4chan?
And my estimate was a bit conservative, even then there has got to be at least a million active piss bottlers on 4chan.

>>4871156
>What if there are guests in the house?
I'm assuming you don't have many considering that you keep a jug of shit laying around.

>>4871251
Twice a day is a medically healthy frequency dumbshit.

It really just depends on one's digestive system:
http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/understanding-constipation-basics

>>4871215
I don't have any pics of my setup, but there are quite a few floating around 4chan.
hey are quite nasty and not representative of most poopjuggers.

Search for "poopjug" or "poop jug" on the archive and you'll find one

>>4871251
Vegetarians

>>4871259
>at least a million active piss bottlers

Anon, I think you have some issues with self-delusion.

>>4871265
>>at least a million active piss bottlers
>Anon, I think you have some issues with self-delusion.
Don't worry, anon, that is his schizophrenia

>>4871031
How do you imagine it, from all the spicy descriptions in the books you read?

>>4871241
Yes, and what I've learned is that they need men in their lives who are more like authoritarian father figures. I treat my girlfriend as though she's my daughter (with benefits) because she's too indecisive to make any important decisions for herself. She's prone to emotionalism which sometimes leads to unnecessary arguments with people so, because I'm more principled and reasonable, I have to teach her how to act morally and treat people with respect. I also have to tell her how to spend her time because if I didn't she'd waste it watching reality TV and makeup tutorials on YouTube. Women really need us men.

>>4871037
pics or it doesn't happen
>>4871070
and they don't seem to understand what hobbies are
.>>4871074
not a damn thing,
>her: did you watch the lego simpson's episode?
>me:no, missed it, i actually wanted towatch it, what was it about?
>her: it was all lego, everything. it was funny.
>me: what happened, what was the plot?
>her: you're so dumb. ooooh, i went shopping today, look!
proceeds to show me $700 boots

>>4871202
i know, that's why i married her

>>4871099
where in L.A. i have an apartment in SaMo but I live in the LAX area.

>>4871070
>mfw i lost several hours in a day lying next to gf rading the day and night away.
> Sometimes snuggling up to her, have sex, get something to eat for the both of us, make coffee, pick up book again.
>Repeat circle.

I'm convinced I've hit the jack pot

>>4871276
where was your wedding?

>>4871278
You have, you lucky bastard!

>>4871279
at a city hall, we signed papers

>>4871265
4chan has something like 30 million visitors

A million might be a high estimate, but if you want to see go pretend you are one of these people and you want to talk about your weird habit with others and watch them fuckers pop outta the woodwork.

Or you could even go to wizardchan. Jus read the rules!

>>4871270
>I treat my girlfriend as though she's my daughter (with benefits)

>>4871031
>>4871269
this can go somewhere, though i doubt it will.

>>4871278
I read it as raiding.. Now I don't know which scenario is better.

>>4871298
Sloppy typo, there's food under the e-key. The i-key jams as well, so you can use your imagination.

>Dating 32 year old red head, slim build, never married no kids
>Has degree in English/Philosophy minor
>Works in IT professionally
>Reads fiction, can talk about any subject intelligently
>Plays vidya
>Classical pianist
>We read together at night, every night

I'm not quite sure how I found her but I'm pretty convinced I'll fuck it up some day. Until then, I'm riding the wave.

>>4871270
Agree

>>4871304
>never married no kids

Depending on the accent you read this in the sentence has two very different meanings

>>4871304
How old are you? Could it be that you're my brother?

>>4871304
This is my dream woman. You're lucky, man.

>>4871308
>>4871309

This thread is going places!

>>4871308

She only married pubescent teenagers; no kids, of course.

>>4871309

I'm 30. We just may be.

>>4871304
>dating 24yo pseudo-socialite
>no higher education, hates novels, reads self-help shit
>she worked as a receptionist at Rand Corp, currently unemployed
>she's really fun
>dumb as a tard

you're lucky, anon.

>pleb girl asks me out to the cinema
>somehow manage to not fuck things up
>she's pretty loud and emotional and superficial
>try making her as depressed as possible
>introduce her to the idea of degeneracy
>buy her Jean Baker Miller's "Toward a New Psychology of Women "
>watch 50s movies together
>tfw qt3.14 patrician, pure, submissive gf
>tfw fell asleep reading aloud in turn from Richard Yates's Easter Parade last night

>>4871321
>try making her depressed as possible

Jesus, I just realized I do this with every girl. I guess I had always been doing it unconsciously, trying to bring them down to my level so we could suffer together. No wonder I'm shit with girls.

>>4871330
You got it. Also bear in mind that the greentext you're replying to is only true up to the fourth line, she bailed after that

>>4871332

>>4871332
You fell asleep reading The Easter Parade aloud to yourself?

>>4871332
lol'd

interestingly enough, what you wrote was pleasing to read. it was, at least, for me.

>>4871336
No, but I did feel pretty emotional reading that book, it's good.

>>4871337
Fuck off tripcancer

>>4871340
>>4871337
rekt

>>4871347
totes, brah, totes

>>4871350
>I know, I'll be more toxic
>That will ensure my popularity and unfiltered status

Reply faggot. I quoted you so you have to reply.

>>4871350
Drop the trip retard

Nobody likes you

>GF

dropped

>>4870944
what was ze book?

>>4871156
>What if there are guests in the house?
Then I sure as fuck amn't going to shit anywhere but in the toilet.

>>4871199
>My hobbies are sophisticated and intellectual
>Yours are insipid and time-wasting
You sound like a blast to hang out with.

>>4871251
From three times a day to three times a week are considered healthy.

>>4871156
>Parents have guests over
>Have to shit
>"And this is Anon's room"
>They walk in on me squatting on the floor, shitting into an old milk jug

>>4871539
I'd rather hang out with assholes than morons.

>>4871156
>EVERY time you have to shit

Do you have dysentery? Normal people have to shit once, maybe twice a day.

>>4871061
that monstruosity on the ceiling totally kills the room

i havent been this disgusted by a picture in a while

/lit/ - rejection of basic hygiene

>>4871594
this is just /r9k/ paying us a visit. Again, maybe this is janitors cleaning up other boards, like all the scum we seem to have gotten from /soc/.

>>4871270
Yes, and what I've learned is that they need women in their lives who are more like authoritarian mother figures. I treat my boyfriend as though he's my son (with benefits) because he's too indecisive to make any important decisions for himself. He's prone to emotionalism which sometimes leads to unnecessary arguments with people so, because I'm more principled and reasonable, I have to teach him how to act morally and treat people with respect. I also have to tell him how to spend his time because if I didn't he'd waste it watching reality TV and football matches on YouTube. Men really need us women.

>>4871321
>pleb guy asks me out to the cinema
>somehow manage to not fuck things up
>he's pretty loud and emotional and superficial
>try making him as depressed as possible
>introduce him to the idea of degeneracy
>buy him Jean Baker Miller's "Toward a New Psychology of Men "
>watch 50s movies together
>tfw qt3.14 patrician, pure, submissive bf
>tfw fell asleep reading aloud in turn from Richard Yates's Easter Parade last night
>>4871070
I never dated a guy who had hobbies.

Only guys who talk about getting hobbies.
>>4871271
and they don't seem to understand what hobbies are
>>4871271
not a damn thing,
>him: did you watch the lego simpson's episode?
>me:no, missed it, i actually wanted towatch it, what was it about?
>him: it was all lego, everything. it was funny.
>me: what happened, what was the plot?
>him: you're so dumb. fuuuck, check out my biceps!

These things I read.
This is why I will marry my books, keep company with cats, and live happily.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qajvOaghLqc

>>4871252
>complains of sexism
>is sexist

>>4871618
Are you available for other threads?

I can only pay in fedoracoins.

Having older sisters has prepared me well
No, not like that /r9k/

>>4871581
I agree, It's like seeing a shit stain on a cake.

>>4871618
Wow, great contribution. Gold star. Well done. Now run along.

>>4871304
left out the butters face

Oh dear

>>4871618
Why can't both scenarios be true?
Why can't we just despise people going beyond the concept of sexes?

>>4871642
is this an american thing, cos I don't undertand what is meant by "some college"? it mean you only did a few semesters or some shit?

>sharing a hotel room with female friend after going to a music festival a few hours from home
>we're both very drunk and we've just found our way back at about 3am
>take my clothes off and lay in bed and start reading my kindle
>"are you seriously about to start reading now?"
>she gives me shit for it despite the last book she read being 7 years ago in high school
>turn it off and roll over while she continues to give me shit about reading

>>4871642

>that male/female ratio

That can't be right.

>>4871270

I am like that, but only because I'm 27 and my girlfriend is 18. I'm counting down the days until the charm wears off and she realises I am a loser. I met her when she was 16.

I used to drive her to school sometimes.

>>4871270

11/10

>>4871642
Let's see how the other half lives

>>4871662

Wow, I'm 24 and find it difficult to even consider dating someone under 21, let alone 18. No offense. It's just so easy to impress younger girls

>>4871653
>kindle

>>4871652
Sounds about right

>>4871668
Fuck off

>>4871662
I know an 18 year old girl who exclusively dates men in their 30s

>>4871668

Yeah, that's the point. I read a lot and got good grades (HDs often) all through university and I'm what you'd call a smart person. So I have no problem relating to women my age on an intellectual level, but emotionally, I'm about the level of a teenage girl. Mostly cause I took so long to get started. Seriously, I give it maybe two years because she outgrows me emotionally.

>>4871678
Anon, I have to ask
Is she in Sydney?

>>4871673
God bless her

>>4871678
holy shit man you are me

>>4871666
>>4871642
um how do they possibly get this info

>>4871668
>It's just so easy to impress younger girls

It's much easier to impress older girls, actually, since their standards tend to lower after they hit the wall.

>>4871685
Her third last boyfriend tried to kill himelf in her driveway.
Her second last boyfriend with two kids broke his neck after a drunk backflip.

I'm not sure of her current relationship status.

>>4871689
It's bullshit.

>>4871689
our merchant allies kindly provide it

>>4871681

I'm Australian, but not Sydney.

>>4871696
Is she a tulpa or whatever?

>>4871705
Are you asking whether she's imaginary?

>>4871708
I guess I don't know what a Tulpa is, I thought it was a qt demon or something

bump

>>4871710
its like an imaginary friend but with more buddhism

>>4870983
you listed a downside to your poop jug system right here to kick off this whole conversation

i don't have to worry about things smelling of shit because i flush my shit down the toilet.

>>4871811
Wow, aren't you a big boy. What do you want, a ribbon?

>>4871816
a ribbon would be nice i guess

>>4871819
I'd give you a yellow one but I wouldn't want to discourage you

>>4870944
top kek

>>4871933

TOP ZEK

>>4871940
Top Zyzz

>>4871816

>Wow, aren't you a big boy.

>>4871954
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR................................YOU!

>>4871933
>>4871811
It's time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzXPyCY7jbs

My got on 4chan *sniff sniff shirt tug* they poop in juggs *sniff sniff waving arm* whilst looking at pictures of me, finally an ideology I can get into *sniff sniff dusts balls sniff* no no I'm joking here. *cheeky grin* but it is simple, for the people of 4chan, they keep their poop around no, because it is their home.

>>4871559
Er... are you calling him a moron because he shits in a toilet instead of into a fucking jug? Are you for real?

>>4872282
Get lost normalfag

>Reading this thread
>Think I can separate the male from the female posters
>Opinion of women drops down even further
>Also poopjugs seem perfectly normal to me
>Think i'm starting to spend to much time on here

>>4871199
>>4871252
Please tone down these dykie antics, this is /lit/, not the hairy legged book club.

Some anon was complaining about his gf's stupidity, not womankind. It's irrational to take a part and treat it as a whole. Is this difficult to understand or did the logical part of your brain fall out of your vagina? Maybe you never evolved it?

>>4872297
get lost disgusting fatso

>>4871618
>These things I read.
>This is why I will marry my books, keep company with cats, and live happily.

You're from /r/books, aren't you? Sorry that 4chan isn't filled with PC liberal pansies who, as the nice guys (read: wimps) they are, coddle women, never challenging them, always telling them what they want to hear. Sorry, dear, but we're unabashedly honest here. What you're reading is the capital-T Truth. Want to be lied to? Can't stand the heat? Want to frolic around in the flowery, brightly colored la-la-land, while the 4channers, the intellectual pioneers of the internet, discuss matters of Truth? Look, sis, sometimes the Truth ain't moral. To suggest otherwise is to commit the moralistic fallacy (yeah, that's right, we know about fallacies here). So, if you're scared of the Truth, if you're scared to find out that women aren't perfect (neither are men, sweetie, so don't get so defensive), then I suggest you go back to your Tumblr account, where you can post all of the pics of cats and antique books you want. You can be a slave to political correctness all you want, but here you'll only find slaves of Truth.

PEACE!

>>4871121
"how to get a filthy ass couch", by impractical architect