/lit/ - Literature

10/10

>Harry Potter and the Time OP Wasn't A Fagwizard

>>4796388

huehuehue

nice.

Moar

>Harry Potter and the Collective "Oh My God, Just Pick A Defense Against The Dark Arts Instructor And Stick With It" Groan From The Student Body During The Opening Banquet
>Harry Potter and the Gym That Ron Kept Saying He Was On His Way To, But He Never Got Around To It
>Harry Potter and the Brief Flirtation with Homebrewing Butterbeer As A Hobby
>Harry Potter and the Dreadful Mathematics Skills Thanks To A Lack Of A Proper Math Class In Hogwarts, Thanks A Lot Dumbledore, Now I'll Never Be Prepared For A Good Career, I Can Conjure Up A Patronus But I Don't Know What Six Times Seven Is
>Harry Potter and the Dark Implications Surrounding The Existence Of That Love Potion That Girl Gave Ron That One Time, Plus The Steroids-esque Controversy Surrounding Felix Felicis Use In Major League Quidditch, Not To Mention The Amount Of Distrust Prevalent In A Society Where Polyjuice Potion Is A Thing
>Harry Potter and the Hour-Long, Rambling Road Trip Story Hagrid Told In A Fit Of Nostalgia
>Harry Potter and the Refusal of Luna Lovegood To Set Up An Appointment With The School Psychologist, Which Is A Direct Result Of Certain Stigmas Of The Mentally Ill Within The Wizarding Community
>Harry Potter and the Joke He Told About Red-Haired Women to Neville, Which Ginny Heard And Was Offended By, Forcing Him To Have To Attend A Meeting With Professor Trelawney About Which Jokes Are Acceptable In An Academic Setting And Which Aren't
>Harry Potter and Oh Man, Ron Was Really In A Movie About A Flatulent Kid Who Wants To Be An Astronaut? That's It, I'm Telling Everyone
>Harry Potter and This Dream He Keeps Having Where He's In A Park And He's Just Shooting At People And He Knows He Would Never Do Something Like That, But This Dream, It's Upsetting Him A Lot And He Feels Like A Monster For Having It
>Harry Potter and the Incredibly Cathartic Punch To The Neck He Gave Dudley A Month Ago, But Here's The Thing, After A While, They Both Got Around To Talking And Now They Actually Get Along Well
>Harry Potter and the Time Neville Accidentally Switched The Batch Of Cookies Intended For The Hogwarts Professors As Part Of A Banquet With The Batch Of Cookies He And Ron Made For An Upcoming Music Festival
>Harry Potter and the Hole He Made Punching A Wall In The Gryffindor Dormitory Out Of Frustration About His Currently Low WGPA (Wizard Grade Point Average), Which He Turns Around Eventually, But He Still Has To Pay The School Damages For The Wall, Which Completely Depletes The Wizard Student Loans He Had For That Semester
>Harry Potter and the Monumental Debt That Wizard Student Loans Have Subjected Him To
>Harry Potter and the Bathrobe He Kept Wearing Up Until A Week And A Half After Him And Cho Chang Broke Things Off
>Harry Potter and the Realization That Using Magic Burns A Good Amount Of Calories, Hence The Ridiculous Amounts Of Food In The Dining Hall

>>4796388
>Harry Potter and the MB-Word He Called Hermione That One Time But He Meant It Like "My Friend, My Homie" So He Thought It Was Okay But Really It Wasn't

The straw that broke my sides.

>>4796697
hogwarts does have arithmancy, with a professor vector

>Harry Potter and the Time He Was Ready To Go Clubbing With Friends But Backed Out Because He Has Social Anxiety.
>Harry Potter and the Night He Didn't Close The Fridge Properly Thus Ruining All His Meat
>Harry Potter and the Party Where He Clogged The Toilet
>Harry Potter and the Cheap Iron That Ruined His Best Dress Shirt
>Harry Potter and the Private Trainer Who Was A Little Too Pushy
>Harry Potter and the Birthday Where Hermione Gave Him A Bad Necklace But Had To Pretend He Liked It
>Harry Potter and the Sounds His Car Started Making But He Chose To Ignore
>Harry Potter and the Black Guy In The Elevator
>Harry Potter and the Recurring Back Pains
>Harry Potter and the Wet Dream Involving Luna Lovegood And Hagrid
>Harry Potter and the Family Reunions Where Everyone Pretends That The Child Abuse Never Happened
>Harry Potter and the Thai Prostitute Of Questionable Age And Gender

>Harry Potter and the Backpacking Across Europe Hermione Did For About A Year After She Graduated
>Harry Potter and the High Blood Pressure He Inherited From His Father
>Harry Potter and the Time When He Was Five And He Tried To Draw A Pinwheel With His Crayons And It Looked An Awful Lot Like A Swastika So Aunt Petunia Had To Sit Harry Down And Give Him A Talk
>Harry Potter and That Cheeky Little Cunt Malfoy, Ugh, I Just, I Mean, Agh... Just, Just Fuck Him, Okay? Just Fuck Him And His Rich Dad
>Harry Potter and the Absolute Banger Snape Managed To Come Up With After Dicking Around With A DAW For A Few Hours
>Harry Potter and the Sorting Hat-Shaped Fleshlights Fred And George Were Selling In The Adult Section Of Their Shop
>Harry Potter and the Duct Tape Wallet That Made Him Look Like A Tool
>Harry Potter and the Zooey Deschanel Phase Ginny Went Through For A Total Of Five Months
>Harry Potter and the Fear His Uncle Dursley Has Of Him Being Replaced At His Line Of Work By A Wizard Or Witch Who Is Willing To Do The Exact Same Job At A Lower Wage

>>4796716
>>Harry Potter and the Sounds His Car Started Making But He Chose To Ignore
>>>Harry Potter and the Recurring Back Pains

I Am The Boy Who Lived

>Harry Potter and the Malignant Tumor He Couldn't Magic Off His Pancreas
>Harry Potter and the Predatory Loan Threatening His Home
>Harry Potter and the Ironic T-Shirt That Did Not Mean What He Thought It Meant, To A Black Person
>Harry Potter and the Bowel Movement Without End
>Harry Potter and the One Time With Ron in Hogsmeade That Didn't Mean Anything

>Harry Potter and the Blood Alcohol Level Hagrid Had At The Time
>Harry Potter and the Security Deposit Ron's Never Getting Back
>Harry Potter and the Improper Way He's Been Clipping His Nails
>Harry Potter and the Black Eye He Gave That Daily Prophet Papparazzi
>Harry Potter and the Thing He Had About Ants, I Mean, Spiders And Snakes Don't Do Anything To The Guy, But Seeing A Trail Of Ants Is Enough To Get Him To Leave The Room And Ask From Behind The Door If They Got Rid Of The Ants Yet
>Harry Potter and the Difficulty His Son Albus Had Looking Him In The Eye That Made Sense After The Diagnosis
>Harry Potter Has A Chat With A Mormon Child
>Harry Potter and the One Tit Bigger Than The Other That Hermione Was Really Self-Conscious About
>Harry Potter and the Ill-Fated Run For Minister For Magic On The Labour Ticket
>Harry Potter and the Sock He Jacked Into And Then Gave To Dobby And Then He Went Home And Had A Giggle
>Harry Potter and the Time Uncle Dursley Came Onto Paul McGann
>Harry Potter and the Blank Prescription Pads He Was Selling Out Of His Dorm During His Sixth Year

>>4796790
>>Harry Potter and the Sock He Jacked Into And Then Gave To Dobby And Then He Went Home And Had A Giggle

>>4796763
>Harry Potter and the One Time With Ron in Hogsmeade That Didn't Mean Anything

>>4796738
>Harry Potter and the Sorting Hat-Shaped Fleshlights Fred And George Were Selling In The Adult Section Of Their Shop

Perfect

>>4796716
I was keking through most of these but
>Harry Potter and the Black Guy In The Elevator
Followed by
>Harry Potter and the Family Reunions Where Everyone Pretends That The Child Abuse Never Happened
I don't think I can ever recover

>>4796697
>Harry Potter and Oh Man, Ron Was Really In A Movie About A Flatulent Kid Who Wants To Be An Astronaut? That's It, I'm Telling Everyone

>Harry Potter and the Cardigan He Never Wears But Still Keeps
>Harry Potter and the Time He Heard Ginny Fart
>Harry Potter and the McDonald's Employee Who Gave Him The Wrong Change
>Harry Potter and the Wrong Turn That Made Him Use A Toll Bridge And Pay $3.50
>Harry Potter and the Day He Missed The Bus So He Had To Wait For The Next One
>Harry Potter and the Class Where He Wasn't Sure If A Cute Girl Was Trying To Make Eye Contact With Him
>Harry Potter and the Facebook Stalking When He Accidentally 'Liked' An Old Photo Of Cho
>Harry Potter and the Train Ride With Hagrid's Irritable Bowel Syndrome
>Harry Potter and the Film That He Liked But Everyone Hated
>Harry Potter and the Night He Heard Ron Having A Flog
>Harry Potter and the Chicken That Wasn't Cooked All The Way Through
>Harry Potter and the Overheard Domestic Abuse That He Doesn't Report
>Harry Potter and the Seasonal Hayfever

op is god

This is without a doubt the best thing I've seen on /lit/

>>4796790
>>Harry Potter and the Difficulty His Son Albus Had Looking Him In The Eye That Made Sense After The Diagnosis
This is new levels of lel.

>>4796388
>>Harry Potter and the Fifteen-Thousand-Page Fantasy Manuscript No One Knew Filch Had Been Working On For Forty Years
my sides

Man, why do I even go on other boards?

>>4796889
>Harry Potter and the Facebook Stalking When He Accidentally 'Liked' An Old Photo Of Cho

oh god the heatenings

These aren't funny...

MORE

>Harry Potter and the Fear His Uncle Dursley Has Of Him Being Replaced At His Line Of Work By A Wizard Or Witch Who Is Willing To Do The Exact Same Job At A Lower Wage
>Harry Potter and the One Time With Ron in Hogsmeade That Didn't Mean Anything
>Harry Potter and the High Blood Pressure He Inherited From His Father
>Harry Potter and the Difficulty His Son Albus Had Looking Him In The Eye That Made Sense After The Diagnosis

This thread has reached a whole new level in the art of samefaggotry

>>4797405
faggot

>>4796388
>Harry Potter and the Burial Album That He Was Listening To Over And Over Again For A While
best one so far

>>4797423
fuck off to /mu/ with your shitty taste in music

I'm fucking dying over hear. I read every single one to my fiance while she was captive in the shower.

The OP was 3/10, then the thread became tedious and boring.

Protip: Extensively overdoing a joke lowers its quality and only makes you look autistic.

>>4797461
You sound like a massive faggot.

lol

>>4797461
So what you're saying is, we should go on Reddit and make a /r/harrypotterandfakebooktitles?

>>4796697
>>Harry Potter and the Dark Implications Surrounding The Existence Of That Love Potion That Girl Gave Ron That One Time
What dark implications? The wizarding world is fine with rape, simple as that.

That, and women who frequently change sex partners are Sluts and Whores (Judging by Molly and Ron Weasley), so chances are that rape is always blamed on the victim, anyway.

The first at least should be perfectly fine with Anon.

>>4797485
>women who frequently change sex partners are Sluts and Whores (Judging by Molly and Ron Weasley),
where was this? i don't remember anything about it

Challenge.

Write a thousand to three thousand word long short story/fanfic about any of these titles.

>>4796388
harry potter and the unfunny post on the anime imageboard

>>4797519
Hard mode:

No memes or homoeroticism.

>>4797522
harry potter and fuck you this thread is good

>>4797495
Molly told Ron about 'Scarlet women' in Goblet of Fire, and Ron flips his shit and calls Ginny a whore in Half Blood Prince.

Oh man, this thread is gold.

Please tell me this shit will be archived.

>>4797579
What page? I don't remember Ron calling Ginny a whore. Then again, I mostly skimmed through that book because it was the worst one due to all the teenage angst.

>Harry Potter and the fucking endless teenage angst seriously Joanne there was more angst in that book than in Trent Reznor's entire discography

>Harry Potter and the Director Who Fucked Up The Last Four Movies By Emphasising The Tedious As Fuck Teen Drama While Cutting Some Of The Best Scenes From The Books Like Harry Raging At Dumbledore At The End Of Order Of The Phoenix And The Scene With Nearly Headless Nick

>>4797894
Goddammit I thought I was over these feels.

>>4797852
>Please tell me this shit will be archived.

everything is archived on warosu newfriend.

>>4797852
I screenshoted it all

>this entire thread
welcome to lit, /r/books

>>4797555

it can't be done.

>>4797999
You don't need to let us know that your new or where you came from faggot

>Harry Potter and the Unfunny Reddit Tier Shit Thread Where A Joke Got Killed Instantly By Retards Imitating It Over And Over Again Until It Is Only Cringeworthy And Everyone Hopes The Thread Fucking Dies But Cancerous Newfags Will Keep Bumping It For Days

>Harry Potter and the Crock of Shit
>Harry Potter and the Mitten of Wool
>Harry Potter and the Stick of Wood
>Harry Potter and the Forest of Embarrassment
>Harry Potter and the Tree of Nothing
>Harry Potter and the nu nu hn u .. .. .

>>4796763
>Harry Potter and the Malignant Tumor He Couldn't Magic Off His Pancreas

i have climbed to the very peak of lel mountain

What is this, Harry Potter and The Trials and Tribulations pf Common Men?

>Harry Potter and the Slightly Fascist Wizard Society That Strips a Witch or Wizard of His or Her Magic Power For The Rest of Their Lives If They Use Magic Once Outside of School. Seriously, What The Fuck?

> Harry Potter and The two pringles he placed in his lips to make himself look like a duck
>Harry Potter and the Game of Thrones spoiler
>Harry Potter and the blog that every said they'd check out later but he knew they wouldn't

>Harry Potter and the Ungodly Hour He's Been Waking Up Everyone In Gryffindor By Hitting The Snooze Button When His Alarm Goes Off
>Harry Potter and the Penis That Moaning Myrtle Couldn't Stop Laughing At Because It Was An Innie
>Harry Potter and the Waxed Kitchen Floor Him And His Mates Have Been Sock-Skating On For Quite Some Time
>Harry Potter and the Mystical Plant Professor Sprout Has Hidden In Her Office Closet Under A Lamp
>Harry Potter and the Failing Kidney
>Harry Potter and the Top Hats Cut Open Like Soup Cans With The Lid Still Attached That He Always Imagined Homeless People Wearing
>Harry Potter and the Gang He Had To Join To Survive During His Brief Stint In Azkaban
>Harry Potter and the Box Of Grateful Dead Bootlegs Hagrid Gave Him For Christmas
>Harry Potter and the Pretentious Attitude He's Been Having Lately
>Harry Potter and the Hot Wax From The Floating Candles That Has Been Falling On Students Every Night In The Dining Hall And The School Is Starting To Get Complaints
>Harry Potter and the One Ghost Whose Name He Forgot
>Harry Potter and the Horseshoe Theory Used By People With All Their Chromosomes In Order To Describe The Relationship Between 4chan And Reddit
>Harry Potter and the Rascal Uncle Dursley Has To Use To Get Around Now That His Kneecaps Are Busted

>Harry Potter and the Greeks (starting with them)

>Harry Potter and the time he walked in on Petunia casting growth spells on Vernon's crotch

>>4798130
Malfoy and Harry a both just wizards, m8, no matter how much Rowling doesn't want you to like Malfoy

>>4798227
PETUNIA ISN'T A WITCH YOU FUCKWIT

Harry Potter and What The Fuck Is A Squib

>>4798329
She was performing another type of growth spell on Vernon's trousers.

>>4798329


oh anon

>Harry Potter and the Landlord Who Said He Would Fix The Clogged Drain But After Three Weeks He Still Didn´t
>Harry Potter and the Surprisingly Persistent Magical Warts
>Harry Potter and the Ridiculous Amounts Of Food Ginny Has Lately Been Able To Teat In A Single Sitting

>>4798053
Yes! Was going to post these myself. Actually been meaning to as /lit/ what they think of his books episode. Perhaps I will make a thread...

>Harry Potter and The Sausage He Dropped On The Floor But Ate Anyway Which Caused Severe Food Poisoning
>Harry Potter and The Embarrasing Photos Of Hermione And Snape From The Christmas Party

this thread could not be more perfect for my condition right now

>>4799094
Downs Syndrome?

>>4799094
>going on the Internet stoned
it's tempting, I know, but you'll enjoy it much more if you just listen to music or watch a movie

>>4799094
Low functioning autism?

>>4799094
Are you a jolly African-American?

>>4799241
>thinks niggers would go on crackerville
lel

>>4799244
There's at least one legit black girl that posts on /lit on a regular basis.

>>4799258
how the fuck would you know

If someone made a whole series of books inspired by all these titles, I'd buy the box set in an instant.

>>4799228
420

>Harry Potter and the Sublime Poster He Put Up In The Gryffindor Common Room
>Harry Potter and the Foot The Doctor Told Dudley He'd Have To Cut Off If He Keeps This Up
>Harry Potter and the Crippling Social Anxiety That Kept Him From Joining A Study Group
>Harry Potter and the Whole Goddamn Thing Of Whiskey Filch Drank At What, Noon To Forget What He Saw When He Was Emptying Out That Dumpster The Morning After The Yule Ball
>Harry Potter and the Convoluted Crossover With The Kids From The Series Of Unfortunate Events Series
>Harry Potter and the S.P.E.W. Protestor That Threw Paint On His Coat Even Though It Was Only Imitation Elfskin
>Harry Potter and the Strange Notches In Hagrid's Belt
>Harry Potter and the Mid-Semester Decision Hermione Had To Change Her Major From Defense Against The Dark Arts To Geology And It Was A Good Thing She Had Been Spending All Her Time Up Until Then Knocking Out Her GEs Because Otherwise She Would Have Just Been Wasting Her Parents' Money
>Harry Potter and the Open Mic Over In Hogsmeade He Did Stand-Up In Every Other Week
>Harry Potter and the Gradual Realization That Snape Was A Man This Whole Time
>Harry Potter and the Spring Break Where He, Ron And Neville Took A Road Trip Across America And Discovered Themselves
>Harry Potter and the Big Black Throbbing Ten-Inch D McGonagall Gave Him On His Report Card

>>4800312
Sides = gone

>Harry Potter and the Underage Porn he Found on the Internet but Fapped Anyway and Felt Guilty for Weeks

>Harry Potter and the stick of wood
>Harry Potter and the bit of string
>Harry Potter and the crock of shit
>Harry Potter and the self-referential threat on /lit/ that's appropriated a humorously formulaic premise for jokes from Stewart Lee in an attempt at being received as clever

>Harry Potter and Every Dumb Faggot Who Bitched About the Passably Humorous Post on The Chinese Toon Porn Website

>>4800365
Well, it does seem like OP and Stewart Lee were taking the "Harry Potter and the" joke format in different directions, but it's still the same format.

>>4796763
>>Harry Potter and the One Time With Ron in Hogsmeade That Didn't Mean Anything
>That Didn't Mean Anything
Were all the times they went into Hogsmeade symbolic or something?

>>4800393
are you not a native english speaker?

>Harry Potter and the Goth Phase He Went Through At Age 25
>Harry Potter and the Animal He Ran Over and Had To Put Out Of Its Misery
>Harry Potter and the Outstanding Late Fees at The Video Store That He Says He Will Pay Off But Never Does Despite The Fact That He Has The Money to Pay Them All Off Now

>Harry Potter and the Term Professor Snape Taught PE
>Harry Potter and the Weird Smell in the Gryffindor Dormitory That No One Could Find The Source Of But That Everyone Blamed on Neville
>Harry Potter and the Forbidden Forest's Delicate Eco-System That Hagrid Keeps Threatening By Introducing Far Too Many Different Species
>Harry Potter and the Psychoactive Strain of Gillyweed Neville Started Growing in a Bid For Popularity Which Worked Out Pretty Well For Him Actually
>Harry Potter and the End of School Trip to Thorpe Park

Harry Potter and The Joke That Required Relatively Little Creativity Becoming Unfunny Pretty Fast

>Harry Potter and the monster in his stomach that made him rape Ginny
>Harry Potter and the clingy asian he kept around as an exotic pet
>Harriet Potter and her handsome and sex-deprived Godfather
>Harry Potter and the exquisite parseltongue skills that made Tom's snake very happy
>Harry Potter and the Year In Which Hogwarts replaced house point deductions with spankings
>Harry Potter and Dudley's First Time

Inevitable heat death of the universe*

go to /tg/ OP, you need to learn some new games.

>>4800393
he means they bumfucked, anon

>>4800827
See>>4800375

>Harry Potter and the Pointless Bump

>Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Parry Hotter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the Harry Potter and the

>>4800312
>>Harry Potter and the Whole Goddamn Thing Of Whiskey Filch Drank At What, Noon To Forget What He Saw When He Was Emptying Out That Dumpster The Morning After The Yule Ball

ok ok THAT was good!

>Harry Potter and the Rabbit Lupin Ate Whole
>Harry Potter and the Girl Who Mistook Him For A Lesbian And Instead Of Correcting Her He Kind Of Went With It For A While
>Harry Potter and the Video He Sent To Tosh
>Harry Potter and the Jar Of Honey That His Hand Got Stuck In
>Harry Potter and the Police Officer Who Had To Talk Him Down
>Harry Potter and the Time He Spat In Jennifer Lawrence's Mouth
>Harry Potter and the Twenty Pounds He Gained When He Stopped Going On His Morning Jogs Due To His Ingrown Toenail Which Hurt Like A Son Of A Whore
>Harry Potter and the Diary That Tom Riddle Had That He Didn't Call A Journal Even Though He Was A Boy
>Harry Potter and the Muggle Pornographic Website Arthur Weasley Wrote His Dissertation On
>Harry Potter and the Mexican Safehouse He's Going To Have To Stay At For A While Until The Heat Dies Down
>Harry Potter and the Special Ed Class He TAed At For A While And Then A Kid Bit Him So He Left Because He Felt Like He Didn't Have To Put Up With That And Now Everyone Hates Geoffrey Especially The Other Special Ed Kids I Mean They Liked Harry And Geoffrey Just Had To Fuck It Up For Them Because He's A Dick
>Harry Potter and the Thunder Mary Poppins Stole From Him During The Opening Ceremony For The Olympics
>Harry Potter and the Open Relationship Ron And Hermione Had For A While At The Suggestion Of Their Marriage Counselor And Then They Had To Explain It To Their Kids
>Harry Potter and the Bad Seeds
>Harry Potter and the Prostitute Mad-Eye Moody Hired But They Didn't Have Sex Or Anything, He Just Cried For The Four Hours She Was There
>Harry Potter and the Wall Of Fame At The Three Broomsticks That Didn't Have Any Brothers On It
>Harry Potter and the Lackluster Barty Crouch Impersonation Jon Stewart Did Last Night
>Harry Potter and the American Community College That Quidditch Announcer Transferred To
>Harry Potter and the Painting He Tried To Fuck
>Harry Potter and the Sideshow At Privet Drive Where He Did Some Ghost Riding Before The Cops Came

>capitalizing the articles
pls stop

'Arry Po'er and the Glottal Stops Instead of Consonants

>Harry Potter and the Time He Was Barred For Life From Hogsmeades After Someone Caught Him Masturbating In The Toilet
>Harry Potter and the Time Hermoine Walked In On Him Masturbating And Now Things Are Extremely Awkward Between Them
>Harry Potter and the Rash That He Should Get Checked Out But He Is Too Embarrased To Go To A Doctor

>Harry Potter and the Wet Dream He Had About Ms. McGonogall

>>4804028
>>Harry Potter and the Special Ed Class He TAed At For A While And Then A Kid Bit Him So He Left Because He Felt Like He Didn't Have To Put Up With That And Now Everyone Hates Geoffrey Especially The Other Special Ed Kids I Mean They Liked Harry And Geoffrey Just Had To Fuck It Up For Them Because He's A Dick
You win the thread.

>Harry Potter and the Day When Dumbledore Fell While Giving a Speech
>Harry Potter and the Banana He Facetiously Pretended Was a Phone
>Harry Potter and the American Flag He Hung Off an Overpass and Lit on Fire
>Harry Potter and the Cinnamon Challenge
>Harry Potter and the Large Amounts of Marijuana He Was Going to Smoke in a Week in an Attempt to Get Himself Off the Stuff For Good
>Harry Potter and the Bee He Stepped On While Barefoot
>Harry Potter and the Awful, Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day
>Harry Potter and the School Trip to Amsterdam Where Hermione Saw a Bunch of Museums, Ron Got Ripped Out of His Mind, and Malfoy Spraypainted a Dark Mark On One Of the Walls Of the Anne Frank House
>Harry Potter and the Wand That Was Also a Laser Pointer
>Harry Potter and the Dumb Thread That Just Wouldn't Quit

This thread is beautiful.

Don't ever change, /lit/.

>Harry Potter and that one time when he became Oppenheimer but never really told his friends and kind of just broke it off

This shit needs to be archived.

>Harry Potter and the Time He and Ron Tried Out Being Pick Up Artists to Get Chicks but Now They're Just Virgins with A Ridiculous Wardrobe I Mean Seriously Who Wears a Mink Top Hat with a Leather Jacket?

>Harry Potter and the Battle Against Hegel's Phenomenological Penis-Geist

>Harry Potter und der Sack der Pfeiffen.

>Harry Potter and the Time He Read Nietzsche And He Thought He Was Übermensch

>Harry Potter and the Time He Watched Every Breaking Bad Episode in Four Days
>Harry Potter and the Fungal Scalp Infection That Caused His Head To Itch Like A Motherfucker Every Morning
>Harry Potter and the Time He Tried To Impress A Girl By Playing Wonderwall On The Guitar
>Harry Potter and the Joke That Stopped Being Funny Earlier In The thread But Became Funny Again

>>4806303
>Harry Potter and the Large Amounts of Marijuana He Was Going to Smoke in a Week in an Attempt to Get Himself Off the Stuff For Good

Læl

>Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

>Harry Potter and the Bass Guitar He Hasn't Touched in Months
>Harry Potter and the Strange Discharge
>Harry Potter and the Rubber Spider He Threw Out the Window and It Hit Ron Right on the Head and He Freaked the Fuck Out and Harry Had Himself a Giggle
>Harry Potter and the Weekend He Spent in a Psych Ward After He Stopped Lying to His Therapist
>Harry Potter and the Goblets of Lean Him, Ron, and Hermione Drank The Other Night
>Harry Potter and the Television Show He Didn't Watch Yet Still Complained About
>Harry Potter and the Job Interview He Fucked Up
>Harry Potter and the One Last Heist and Then He's Done
>Harry Potter and the Chamber of Commerce
>Harry Potter and the Personal Stuff Hermione's Been Going Through Lately
>Harry Potter and the Bottle Opener Keychain Hagrid Gave Him for His Birthday
>Harry Potter and the Heavily Compressed JPGs of Political Cartoons That Dumbledore Emailed Him
>Harry Potter and the Asbestos Hogwarts Had to Have Removed Over the Summer
>Harry Potter and the Black Butts That Were Way Better Than White Butts
>Harry Potter and the Diaper Commercial Where the Babies Got Up on Stage and Had a Shitting Contest That He Couldn't Believe a Human Being Came Up With
>Harry Potter and the Nazi Paraphernalia He Collected For A While But Then He Got Tired of Explaining to Everyone Who'd Look Around His Garage That He's Not a Nazi and He Doesn't Sympathize With Them in Any Way, He's Just Really Fascinated With a Dark Chapter in History
>Harry Potter and the Class Trip to Six Flags Where Professor Lupin Had to Bullshit a Reason as to What That Had to Do With Learning Magic
>Harry Potter and the Baby Aspirin Mad-Eye Moody Had to Take Every Day

>>4796751

Me too.

>Harry Potter and the Time He Ate Some Strange Mould and his Mother Freaked Out
>Harry Potter and the Father Who Killed Himself in a Microwave
>Harry Potter and the Tennis Tournament

>>4796716
>Harry Potter and the Time He Was Ready To Go Clubbing With Friends But Backed Out Because He Has Social Anxiety.

>>4800312
Harry Potter and the Crippling Social Anxiety That Kept Him From Joining A Study Group

>>4808653
>Harry Potter and the Nazi Paraphernalia He Collected For A While But Then He Got Tired of Explaining to Everyone Who'd Look Around His Garage That He's Not a Nazi and He Doesn't Sympathize With Them in Any Way, He's Just Really Fascinated With a Dark Chapter in History

I know these feels all too well

Happy Potter and the Revist To His Facebook Timeline From A Few Years Ago
Happy Potter and the Unexpected Student Debt From Hogwarts That His Foster Parents Rused To Pay
Happy Potter and the Trip To The Psychiatrist About His Recent Schizophrenia Diagnosis
Harry Potter and the Time He Run A Bath Just To Fart In It And Smell The Odor
Harry Potter and the Encounter With Hermione When She Was Putting On Her Wizard Robe
Harry Potter and the Sentence To Muggle Sensitivity Class For Being a Racist, Sexist, Misogynistic pig

d-did I do it right?

Harry Potter and the Essay Deadline That Was A Week Ahead Of When He Thought

>>4808747
>Happy Potter

Hahaha what a fantastic Freudian slip.

>>4797522
get a load of this faggot over here

Harry Potter and the Japanese Strip Club He Was Too Drunk To Remember

>>4799228
>>4799238
420 you knob

Harry Potter and the Negative eBay Feedback He Forgot To Dispute

harry potter and .2 grams of remaining cannabis debris on his lap

harry potter and the full-body cringe one does upon seeing video footage of the crowd at coachella

Harry Potter and the Open University Course He Got Erect Over

>Harry Potter and the Ironic Suicide Note

harry potter and the endless and endlessly unfunny easter/420 jokes he endured over the weekend

Harry Potter and the Speech He Had To Write About the Internet

>>4796852

>SAVING THE WORLD... ONE BLAST AT A TIME.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU HHHHHOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD

>Harry Potter and the Professor He Started A Sexual Relationship With
>Harry Potter and the Mini-Heart Attack He Had When Ginny Asked If She Could Go On The Computer For A Minute
>Harry Potter and the Last Strawberry Muffin Ron Had Called Dibs On But He Ate It Anyway
>Harry Potter and the Expired Medication He Accidentally Took
>Harry Potter and the Time Ginny Had Diarrhoea When They First Tried Anal

Harry Potter and the Pay-Per-View Porn Film He Swears He Didn't Order

>>4808795
>>Harry Potter and the Time Ginny Had Diarrhea When They First Tried Anal

Bald_white_cartoon_guy_to_represent_empathy.jpg

>Harry Potter and the Badly Damaged Easter Bunny Chocolate He Recieved Because Ron Couldn't Afford to Get Him A New One
>Harry Potter and the Time He Accidentally Looked at A Cat's Anus and It Turned Out to be Professor McGonagall
>Harry Potter and the Ron Appeared Naked in the Mirror That Shows His Deepest Desires
>Harry Potter and the Time He Tried to Take Hermione On A Date But the Car Wouldn't Start and He Left His Wand In His Room
>Harry Potter and the Still Inexplicable Migranes That Has Left Doctors Dumbfound.

Harry Potter and the Awkward Conversation With Snape About That One Picture Of Harry's Dad

Harry Potter and the Swiss Army Knife He Got Stuck in an Unfathomable Orifice

>Harry Potter and the Time He Pretended To Be Retarded So He Could Get Into Thorpe Park For Free and the Surprising Lack Of Guilt He Felt From Doing So
>Harry Potter and the Large Amounts Of Urine On The Floor Of The Boys Toilets That Filch Still Hasn't Cleaned Up
>Harry Potter and the Radiohead phase he went through
>Harry Potter and the Weird Sisters fanfic He Found On Neville's Laptop
>Harry Potter and the Second Language He Said he Would Learn For His New Years Resolution But Still Hasn't
>Harry Potter and the Three-Way that he and Ginny arranged with Luna That Has Made Everything Awkward Between Them

>>4796790
>Harry Potter and the Thing He Had About Ants, I Mean, Spiders And Snakes Don't Do Anything To The Guy, But Seeing A Trail Of Ants Is Enough To Get Him To Leave The Room And Ask From Behind The Door If They Got Rid Of The Ants Yet
Yes.

>Harry Potter and the Decline of the West
>Harry Potter and that Giant Dinner He Arranged That No One Went To Which Made Him Very Angry And Also Kinda Depressed Until He Found Out He Accidentally Wrote The Wrong Date On The Invitation Card
>Harry Potter And That Song He Secretly Wrote But Is Too Afraid To Show Anyone
>Harry Potter and That Piece OF Maise That Has Been Stuck Behind A Tooth That Just Annoys Him And He Can't Get Out With His Tongue But He Can't Put His Fingers Into His Mouth In Public That Would Be Awkward
>Harry Potter and His Embarassing Spirit Animal
>Harry Potter and That Weekend He Had Nothing To Eat In His Fridge But Some Cheese And Ketchup
>Harry Potter and The Jokes He's Been Stealing From A Webcomic About A Bird And Some Kind Of Bear-Thingy

>>4798148
My sides are exploring the uncharted edges of the cosmic microwave background

>Harry Potter and the Pet Mantis He Impulsively Bought From A Pet Store But Then He Realised He Was Slightly Scared Of Insects
>Harry Potter and the Time He Was Made Fun Of For Wearing Two Differently Coloured Socks
>Harry Potter and the Unidentified Discharge He Found In Hermoine's Panties When He Stole Them
>Harry Potter and the Dissapointing Lavender Handsoap That Smelled Like Roses Instead
>Harry Potter and the Shame He Feels When He Remembers The Sounds He Made When He Was Still Thirteen Years Old And Was Pretending To Be His Favorite Pokemon

>Harry Potter and The Joys Of Delirium Tremens Under Mistletoe The Day After Christmas
>Harry Potter and The Breast Expansion Fantasy Involving Cho Chang Et Al.
>Harry Potter and The Tedious Albeit Unquestionably Desperate Personal Revelations He Would Vaguely Feel Guilty About The Very Next Day
>Harry Potter and The Sudden Fit Of Laughter At An Unknown Source Of Joy
>Harry Potter and The 5. A.M. Dream Of Infinite Significance Which He Cared About And Then Didn't
>Harry Potter and The Memorable Day He Got Laid With The Memory Of Said Day Being Sullied But By The Partner's Apparently Hairy Female Cunt Which He At The Time Pretended He Liked But Really Actually Didn't
>Harry Potter and The Return Of The Hairy Female Cunt That In Fact Was A Common Sight Among Womankind As He Came To Realize Later In His Life Having Waded Through Each And Every Hairy Cunt Confrontation With Patience And Dignity And Trying To Focus On Other Things Which Thankfully There Was A Whole Host Of Pleasant Or Not Exactly Unpleasant Female Things To Focus On
>Harry Potter and The Surprise Visit To A Styrofoam Tray Manufacturer's
>Harry Potter and The Minuscule Pile Of Dogshit He Had Stepped Into On A Rainy Day And Almost But Not Quite Slipped
>Harry Potter and The Joys Of Delirium Tremens Revisited With Additions, Annotations And Subsequent Onset Of Acute Clinical Depression He Hoped He Would Never Ever Have To Face Again The Poor Fuck

Harry Potter And That Time He Didn't Realise They Were Out of Toilet Paper Until It Was Too Late

Harry Potter And The Time Some Tit Jumped In Front Of A Train At The Local Train Station and He Was Like An Hour Late For Work As A Result

Harry Potter and the Bottle of Coca Cola That Was Shaken Up Before He Bought It So That When He Opened It Up It Covered Him In Fizzy Sticky Shit In Front Of That Girl He liked

Harry Potter and the Curious Case of When He Wrote a Bunch of Faux YA Novel Titles for a Joke Thread on The Internet But then the Site Went Down

Harry Potter and the Nob Who Cut Him Off and Now He's Going to Have to Figure Out How to Get There From the Next Exit

>Harry Potter and the Day a Guy From /int/ Crashed His Favourite Imageboard So He Had Nothing To Do For A While

Harry Potter and the Faggotry of OP

>>4809049
What happened on /int/?

>Harry Potter and the Genesis Album That Ron Vehemently Defended Even Though It Was Made Several Years After Steve Hackett Left

>Harry Potter and the Tube Train That Got Delayed Just Outside Harrow And Wealdstone Because Of Leaves On The Line

>Harry Potter and the Non-Muggle Backbencher Who Got Egged At The Ministry Of Magic For Being A Tory

>Harry Potter and the Amusing Newspaper Article About The Knight Bus Crashing Into A Low Bridge Again

>Harry Potter and the Old Lady and the Pigeons

>>4809053
Some australian stole a janitors account and started shitposting so the mods closed the whole thing down for a couple of hours.

>>4809060
bloody aussies

>Harry Potter and The Theory That Everybody Is Gay At Least A Little Bit
>Harry Potter and The Club Foot
>Harry Potter and Ron's Jewish Girlfriend
>Harry Potter and The Conspicuously Placed Black Kid
>Harry Potter and The Assumption That The Only Woman He Ever Had Sex With Was Ginny
>Harry Potter and Uncle Vernon's Secret Basement Movies
>Harry Potter and Uncle Vernon's Skin Tag
>Harry Potter and Bookseries In Which All Peoples Are Represented Except The Jews
>Harry Potter and Hermoine's BO
>Harry Potter and The Prefect Who Couldn't Sit Down

>>4809063
This was a sticky on /int/ today for about a minute and a half.

>>4809036
>>Harry Potter and the Shame He Feels When He Remembers The Sounds He Made When He Was Still Thirteen Years Old And Was Pretending To Be His Favorite Pokemon
this is the best one by far.

Harry Potter and That One JAV He Still Feels Ashamed of Watching But Can't Bring Himself To Delete

Harry Potter and the Time He Told Ron That He Dropped Something and Then Ron Looked Around on the Floor For a Few Seconds and Asked "What'd I Drop, Harry?" and Harry Was Like "The Bass"

cool reddit thread, guys.

>Harry Potter and the Odd Man Who Spends Just a Bit Too Much Time Around the Local Playground
>Harry Potter and the New Professor Who Made Inappropriate Jokes About Parvati's Skin Color
>Harry Potter and the Befuddling Hour Spent at the Supermarket Trying to Find the Kind of Chips Hermione Asked For But Which He Can't Remember the Name Of And Of Fucking Course He Forgot His Phone

>>4809194

Seriously, this. Get destroyed.

>>4809194
>Being a newfag
>>>/reddit/

>>4809181
At this point, I've forgotten what it was like to even have sides.

>Harry Potter and The Myth of Sisyphus
>Harry Potter and The Plague
>Harry Potter and The World as Will and Representation
>Harry Potter and The Gay Science
>Harry Potter and The Sickness Unto Death

>Harry Potter and The 0:45 mark at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYxfxf3wTLM

>>4796852
inb4
>you're
>its

>Harry Potter and the NICE ROBES FAGGOT

>Harry Potter and the Eventful Day He Had With The Invisibility Cloak After Seeing Hollow Man
>Harry Potter and Everyone's Disappointment That He Didn't Become An Animagus
>Harry Potter and the Restless Nights He Lays Awake Wishing He'd Learned How To Put People In The Recovery Position Rather Than A Magic Spell For Light, Goodbye Ginny Love.
>Harry Potter and the Night They Discovered They Could Snort Floo Powder And How They Were >Left With Ron's Shell When He Said “Surprise Me”
>Harry Potter and the Wizards From China Who Still Miraculously All Knew Kung Fu
>Harry Potter and the “Have You Seen My Scarf Ron?” “No I Haven't Mate” “I'm Sure I Left it ?>Here Somewhere” “Maybe Parvati Has It Mate... She's Bonkers” and Other Banal Conversations
>Harry Potter and the Weird Men From The Wand In Mouth “Obliviate!” Club
>Harry Potter and the Boy Who Lived So Much He Was In A Franchise That Will Probably Never Die
>Harry Potter and the Strange Time Hermione's Boggart Turned Into A Horse Rejecting Her Sexual Advances
>Harry Potter and The Time Him And Sirius Dropped The Act
>Harry Potter And His Monstrous Shit That Was So Big They Put The Sorting Hat On It And It Unsurprisingly Said HUFFLEPUFF! And Proceeded To Be Better At Sports Than Neville Or Whatever
>Harry Potter Plays With Matches Dangerously Close To Some Paper Or Something Fuck Off You'd Read It If She Wrote It
>Harry Potter So Grizzled And Worn By Years Of Rage, Sadness, Loss, He's So Low, Everyone He Knows Doesn't Want To See Him In His Steady Assured Decline, Communication Fading, On Those Rare Bright Days When He Makes A Foray Into Society, Those Rare And Special Days, He Still Has To Drink PolyJuice Potion... Just To Be Himself

>Harry Potter and the Awkward Pause That Resulted When Luna Suddenly Started Talking About Jesus

>Harry Potter and The Essay He Plagiarized But Professor McGonagall Didn't Notice And He Felt Guilty Later
>Harry Potter and The Girl He Drunkenly Made a Move On Only To Be Rejected and She's In His Class The Next Day
>Harry Potter Tries to Buy Drugs in The Bad Part of Hogsmeade
>Harry Potter's Brief Flirtation with Wicca

>>4809732
>Mfw they stop wearing robes in the movies and start wearing normal clothes

harry potter and the dick up yo ass

>>4809063
We like to have fun.

>Harry Potter and the Dead Hand Gang

[/spoiler]>tfw had a bunch of these done last night but 4chan dun goofed so couldn't post.[/spoiler]

>Harry Potter and the Small Bug That He Couldn't Identify But Still Panics When It Comes Close Because It's Pretty Fast
>Harry Potter and the Mental Battle That Takes Place When Talking To Mr Moody To Not Look At His Googly-Eye.
>Harry Potter and the Endless Amount Of Crumbs In Hagrid's Beard That Drive His OCD Crazy
>Harry Potter and the Toilet Seat That He Accidentally Slammed Because His Pants Got Caught On It As He Pulled Them Up
>Harry Potter and the Love Potion He Roofied Ron's Drink With Because Ginny Hadn't Been Giving Him Attention Lately
>Harry Potter and the Pornographic Videos Of Dumbledore He Found On the School Computers
>Harry Potter and the Tension Between Him And Ron On Christmas Due To Ron's Working Class Family
>Harry Potter and the Three Headed Dog That He Couldn't Help But Notice Also Had Three Penises
>Harry Potter and the Large New Wand That He Kept Having To Explain Wasn't Compensating For Something Else
>Harry Potter and the Racist Sounding Comment That the Only Black Kid In Hogwarts Happened To Overhear But There Was No Explaining it
>Harry Potter and the Car That Wouldn't Start No Matter How Much Gas He Gave It

Harry Potter and the way he go famous by sucking dumbledores cock

Harry Potter and the Large Amounts of Money He Lost in the Bitcpin Market

>Harry Potter and the Uncomfortable Time Ron Started Learning To Play A Guitar And He Had To Pretend He Liked It But Ron Was Really Rubbish
>Harry Potter and the Secret Time He And Hermione Necked After Drinking Too Much Butterbeer And They Try Not To Look Too Uncomfortable Around Ron
>Harry Potter and the One Time Hermione Got A B On A Test And Wouldn't Shut Up About It For Weeks
>Harry Potter and the Rich Friend Of Ron's Who Poached Unicorns And Harry Pretended To Laugh And Go Along With It
>Harry Potter and the Boring Autobiography He Felt Obligated To Write
>Harry Potter and the Mysterious Lump He Should Really Get Checked Out But He Hasn't Gotten Around To Scheduling An Appointment Yet
>Harry Potter and the Grandchildren Who Laugh And Nod But Secretly Think His Jokes About Goblins Owning All The Banks Are Off-Color
>Harry Potter and the Rambling Graduation Speech He Made For Hogwarts, He's Getting Too Old, But People Hold Too Much Respect For His Past Accomplishments To Stop Him Or Ask Anyone Else To Speak
>Harry Potter and the Memorial Plaque That First Years Drew A Penis On, That Was Really Disrespectful And He Did A Lot In The Service Of Our Wizarding World, Whoever Drew That Should Feel Ashamed

These all need to be episodes of an HBO show.

>>4810501
I feel like tweeting a few of these would be well worth the risk of ruining our little secret club and using something as pleb as Twitter.

>>4810515
How would we hashtag this?

Also, I guess I need to make a twitter account

>>4810525
#HarryPotterandthe

Shit, a lot of these would have to be multiple-parters, though. The 140 characters thing.

>>4810515
>>4810525
>>4810531
Aaaaaaaand joke's over

>>4810541
Dumb internet jokes don't die from merely getting popular. They die from getting referenced on children's television shows and congressman's tweets.

>>4810564
Guess what popularity increases the probability of happening.

>>4810501
>>4810515
>>4810525
>>4810531
>>4810541
>>4810564
>>4810577
>Harry Potter and the Only Ways to Kill a Silly Joke On a Pornographic Chinese Cartoon Imageboard For Good, Which is to Either Force It Into the Mainstream Instead of Allowing a Natural Progression, Or to Hold an Elitist Secret Club Mentality About It Instead of, Again, Allowing a Natural Progression

>>4810636
>Oh no one thread, I'm going to literally die of being an anally shattered "serious" newfaggot

>>4810636
>Harry Potter and the Post He Made On 4chan Which Got Ignored Because He Posted Too Late

>>4810644
>no we cant have the 'harry potter and the" joke become mainstream even though it's already mainstream as fuck because i want to have a joke i can laugh at that no one else i know can look at
>settle down m8
>well la di da, look at the faggot who's taking a thread about a dumb joke way too seriously

>Harry Potter and the Toe He Shot Off So He Wouldn't Have to Serve in the War

>Harry Potter and the Unclear Guidelines For A Joke That Everyone Gets But Not Really

>>4810672
And another person misunderstands what 'projecting' means. This picture is usually accompanied with the misunderstanding as well--are you the same person every time?

>Harry Potter and the Bumps He Found On His Penis and How He Is Going To Explain Them To Ginny
>Harry Potter and the Erection He Always Gets Just Before Having To Present Something To His Class

>Harry Potter and the Time Ron Found His Folder of Pictures of Emma Watson

>>4812266
>Harry Potter and the Night Ron Drunkenly Slurred At Hermione, "You Look Just Like Emma Watson, Only Uglier"

>James Incandenza and the Strangest Phase In His Entire Post-Humous Cinematographic Career

>>4809517
What is this autistic shit?

>Harry Potter and the Time He Accidentally Poured Breakfast Cereal Into A Glass
>Harry Potter and the Poor Taste "Yo Momma" Joke
>Harry Potter and the Depressed Wank on Cho Chang's Birthday
>Harry Potter and the Soon Abandoned Dream Journal
>Harry Potter and the Time He Had To Get Up In The Middle of the Night To Take A Piss
>Harry Potter and the Gym Membership Which Will Never Be Renewed
>Harry Potter and the Dishtowel Wrapped Around His Bicep To Shoot Heroin

>>4812873
>Harry Potter and The 2030s Equivalent of Vaporwave

Harry Potter and the Racist Snooker Tournament

>Harry Potter and the Funny Joke He Told in Potions Class That No One Heard but Malfoy, who Repeated it a Higher Volume and Got Lots of Laughs
>Harry Potter and His Embarrassing Joy Division Phase That He's Incessantly Reminded of Every Time He Finds That Stupid "Unknown Pleasures" Vintage Tee While Looking Through His Cupboard
>Harry Potter and the Faint Glimmer of Regret He Gets Whenever He Sees Ron and Hermione Holding Hands
>Harry Potter and the One Time He and Luna Hooked Up That Everyone Chose to Forget
>Harry Potter and His Tendency to Mutter the Cruciatus Curse Every Time Malfoy Passes By, Which He's Somewhat Ashamed Of
>Harry Potter and the Time He Tripped Synthetic LSD and Thought That If Ron Shut off the Ceiling Fan Surely It Would Be the End of Him and That He Would Cease to Be
>Harry Potter and His Shortlived Column for the School Paper That Never Attracted Anyone's Attention
>Harry Potter and the Mole on His Ass That He Hasn't Told Anyone About, Not Even Ginny
>Harry Potter and the Time He Wore Women's Clothes and Kind of Liked It

>Harry Potter and the Diary of Angst
>Harry Potter and the Funny Joke He Told in Potions Class That No One Heard but Malfoy, who Repeated it a Higher Volume and Got Lots of Laughs
>Harry Potter and His Embarrassing Joy Division Phase That He's Incessantly Reminded of Every Time He Finds That Stupid "Unknown Pleasures" Vintage Tee While Looking Through His Cupboard
>Harry Potter and the Faint Glimmer of Regret He Gets Whenever He Sees Ron and Hermione Holding Hands
>Harry Potter and the One Time He and Luna Hooked Up That Everyone Chose to Forget
>Harry Potter and His Tendency to Mutter the Cruciatus Curse Every Time Malfoy Passes By, Which He's Somewhat Ashamed Of
>Harry Potter and the Time He Tripped Synthetic LSD and Thought That If Ron Shut off the Ceiling Fan Surely It Would Be the End of Him and That He Would Cease to Be
>Harry Potter and His Shortlived Column for the School Paper That Never Attracted Anyone's Attention
>Harry Potter and the Mole on His Ass That He Hasn't Told Anyone About, Not Even Ginny
>Harry Potter and the Time He Wore Women's Clothes and Kind of Liked It

>>4796388
>Harry Potter and the Red Delicious Apple That Tasted Like Sand
>Harry Potter and the Heat Death Of The Universe
>Harry Potter and the Quills That Malfoy Has Been Flinging Into Hermione's Hair All Throughout Class And She Still Hasn't Noticed A Thing
>Harry Potter and the Burial Album That He Was Listening To Over And Over Again For A While
These ones were really Tao Lin.

Are you Tao Lin?
But you can't be, because the other ones are still funny and not very Tao Lin at all.

>>4796697
>>Harry Potter and the Hole He Made Punching A Wall In The Gryffindor Dormitory Out Of Frustration About His Currently Low WGPA (Wizard Grade Point Average), Which He Turns Around Eventually, But He Still Has To Pay The School Damages For The Wall, Which Completely Depletes The Wizard Student Loans He Had For That Semester

All acronyms in HP are punctuated, so that would be W.G.P.A., and Harry is rich so why would he have loans? And can we talk about how the goblins are literally jews, with hook noses and everything?

>Henry Potter and the Klinger Stone

>>4798329
Rowling confirmed that it is possible for someone like Petunia to acquire some weak form of magic later in life.

>>4799237
Listening to music is truly the greatest thing when you are "in the condition." Even songs you've listened to a thousand times sound incredibly amazing.

>Harry Potter and the Time He Wrote Chode Chang on a Stall in the Men's Lavatory and When Cho Heard She Swore She Would Literally Kill That Motherfucker
>Harry Potter and the Facebook Status He Wrote That Got Twelve Likes
>Harry Potter and the Short Story He Wrote For His Creative Writing Class That All of His Friends Said Was Really Good But His Workshop Group Thought Was Complete Rubbish

>>4809068
>>Harry Potter and Bookseries In Which All Peoples Are Represented Except The Jews
I just mentioned this; the goblins have the jews pinned in a surprisingly offensive way.

>Harry Potter and the Harry Potter Book Title Jokes That He Posted On A Literature Board On A Japanese Anime Imageboard That Everybody Ignored And Once Again He Was Not Given Any Attention And He Goes Back To Being A Nineteen Year-old Kissless Virgin That Lies Awake At Night Trying To Sleep But Cannot Get Over The Fact He Feels So Alone And How He Just Wants Love And Companionship Oh God It Hurts I feel So Pathetic Just Die In My Sleep Already Getting /fit/ Didnt Do Anything

>>4814172
I don't think Harry is a virgin, anon.

>>4814134
>the goblins have the jews pinned in a surprisingly offensive way.
This, its hilarious.

>Harry Potter and the conundrum of why Wizards need glasses at all.

>>4814724
i thought "jews" the first time i saw them. same for dawrfs in LOTR. a people in diaspora and a never ending lust for shiny things, helplessly at odds with a people of fair color and great ambition.

>>4814172
Sounds meta

>Harry Potter and the Mirror He Was Looking at His Own Asshole With and He Accidentally Skyped Hermoine Through.

>>4815315
best thread ever

Harry Potter and the Thread That Went On For a Week, Holy Shit Guys

>Harry Potter and the Arts Major He Dumped Paint On
>Harry Potter and the Onion Article Dumbledore Thought Was Real
>Harry Potter and the Bit He Did at the Open Mic That Made Everyone Laugh, But Then He Noticed That It Was Hard Not to Make Them Laugh
>Harry Potter and the Acoustic Guitar He Needs to Get Restrung
>Harry Potter and the Greyhound Bus Story He Won't Stop Telling
>Harry Potter and the Mix CD He Burned For Ginny That Was Just All R.E.M.
>Harry Potter and the Chick Tract Where Satan Talks a Homosexual Out of Committing Suicide That Sells Upward of $450 on eBay But He Didn't Sell Because It Was Funny as Fuck
>Harry Potter and the Game of Settlers of Catan Where They Let Ron Win To Lift His Spirits
>Harry Potter and the Nine Weeks He Spent Trying to Get Up to 25K
>Harry Potter and the Occupy Rally He Joined But Then Left a Few Days Later, I Mean No One Knew What the Fuck They Were Doing
>Harry Potter and the Cottage in the Countryside They Moved Into For the Weekend After They Couldn't Get Any Acting Work
>Harry Potter and the Group Costume They Were Supposed to Do But Then Ron and Hermione Went as Something Else So Now They Don't Have a Brad and Janet
>Harry Potter and the Author Who Lied to Millions of Children When She Said That It Was All Going to Be Okay

>>4819724
>>Harry Potter and the Greyhound Bus Story He Won't Stop Telling


jej

>Harry Potter and the Subwoofer That Knocked a Brick Out of the Wall
>Harry Potter and the Fast Food Franchise He Ran Into the Ground
>Harry Potter and the Hoodie That Matched His Sweatpants He Was Called a Faggot For Wearing and Rightfully So
>Harry Potter and the Gum Hermione Tried to Get Out of Her Hair With Peanut Butter and Now She Has Peanut Butter in Her Hair
>Harry Potter and the Two Month Phase Where He Thought "President Ron Paul" Sounded Like a Good Idea
>Harry Potter and the Receding Hairline
>Harry Potter and the Lecture Snape Gave That Led Into a Twenty Minute Rant on How He Thought Enoch Powell Was a Genius
>Harry Potter and the Blues Rock Band Made Up of White Guys in Bowling Shirts With Goatees That Plays At The Three Broomsticks Every Friday Night
>Harry Potter and the Thing Him and Ginny Tried to Spice Things Up But Then They Decided They Didn't Like It But At Least They Gave It a Shot
>Harry Potter and the Hot Dog Eating Contest Where Everyone Thought Cho Chang Would Beat Him, Not Because She Sucked a Lot of Dick But Because She's Asian, But She Does Suck a Lot of Dick, She's Just Really Good At Keeping a Lid on That
>Harry Potter and the Comb He Lost and That Was His Only Comb, Are You Fucking Kidding Me
>Harry Potter and What Was Essentially a Reenactment of the Contest Episode of Seinfeld
>Harry Potter and the Small Dog Ron Killed With His Bare Hands Just to See What It Was Like
>Harry Potter and the Big Dirt Bottle
>Harry Potter and the Talent Agent He Brought His Family to So He Could Show Off This Killer Act They Have

>Harry Potter And That One Time He Smoked Pot in College And It Was Awkward, Because He Spent the Entire Time Feeling Self-Conscious And Overanalyzing What People Were Saying

>Harry Potter And The Page Nine Rescue Bump

>>4823991
rapist

Harry Potter and the Coffee Leftover From This Morning He Isn't Sure About Drinking
Harry Potter and the Time the Girl Next To Him In Class Farted But Was Totally Nonchalant About It

>Harry Potter and the Awkward Length of Time Before His Friend Replied to His Text About the Party
>Harry Potter and the Year When He Kept Playing Entire Live Phish Shows Whenever he Entertained Guests
>Harry Potter and the Banging In His Car That is Definitely Just Something in the Trunk
>Harry Potter and the Weight Management Formula he Must Feed his Cat
>Harry Potter and the Time He Threw Away Half of His Dishes So He Wouldn't Be Able To Put Off Doing Dishes for Three Weeks and Make an Actual Mountain of Dishes, What the Fuck Harry
>Harry Potter and the Week Long Thread on the Anime Imageboard
>Harry Potter and the Realization That Sex Seems to Diminish Testicular Odor
>Harry Potter and the Alcoholism Everyone is Hesitant to Mention Due To What He Has Been Through

>Harry Potter and the Burnout He Experiences Knowing the Most Interesting Period of His Life Is Over
>Harry Potter and the Inability To Connect With His Teenage Son Who Doesn't Give A Shit What His Deadbeat Dad Did In Fucking Wizard School

>>4796697
>>Harry Potter and This Dream He Keeps Having Where He's In A Park And He's Just Shooting At People And He Knows He Would Never Do Something Like That, But This Dream, It's Upsetting Him A Lot And He Feels Like A Monster For Having It
i have that shit irl its the woooorst
funny shit tho so it evens out

>Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Assgrabbin'

can someone make one of these huge jpg screencap of this thread and post it, i'd like to have one, dunno how to do it

>Harry Potter and the Embarrassing Fundraises Celebrity Quidditch Match They Shamed Him Into Doing When He Was 76

>>4824358
>ctrl + s

fuck this unfunny ass threads and the little faggots that find it funny

>>4824446
>Harry Potter and that One Kid Who Thought His Opinion On An Anonymous Imageboard Meant Anything

Harry Potter and the Chinese Cartoons

>>4824473
>>>/reddit/

>>4809547
>Implying that was the wrong use of "it's"

>>4824543
Harry Potter and the alienated angry person

HAHAHAHAHA LOL HARRY POTTER AND <something not do with harry potter>

GR8 JOKE GUYS ;) SO RIDICULOUS xD xD

>>4824473
If it has a signification to someone, it already means something.

>>4824595
harry potter and the broom closet full of rotten apples

>>4824431
nuh that sucks

>>4824595
harry potter and the bitter cunt who didn't like harry potter

>>4824665
I loved the concept. Reminded me of Fantasia, and many others.

>Harry Potter and the Regretfully Long Visual Novel Binge
>Harry Potter and the Phallic Emoticon that was Meant to be a Heart
>Harry Potter and the Crusty Tissues he Found under Ron's Bed
>Harry Potter and the Time the Weasley's Cat Sat on his Lap and Gave him an Erection
>Harry Potter and the Toothpaste Stain he didn't Notice Until his Job Interview

>>4809737
>Harry Potter and the Strange Time Hermione's Boggart Turned Into A Horse Rejecting Her Sexual Advances
>Harry Potter And His Monstrous Shit That Was So Big They Put The Sorting Hat On It And It Unsurprisingly Said HUFFLEPUFF! And Proceeded To Be Better At Sports Than Neville Or Whatever

Oh God My sides have transcended space and time.

>Harry Potter and the Troll Thread that Lived

>Harry Potter and the Time Turner They Didn't Use to Save Sirius Because They Forgot and Now It's Too Late
>Harry Potter and the Ecstasy He Made In Potions Class
>Harry Potter and the Buzzfeed Article He Jerked It to Since His Glory Days Were In the 1990s Anyway
>Harry Potter and the Pants He Shat In When His Uncle Let Him Watch a Scary Movie But He Was Like Four So No One's Really Judging
>Harry Potter and the Bandage On His Forehead He Tells People Is Covering Up A Cut He Got In a Fight But Was Really Covering Up a Pimple
>Harry Potter and the Time He Flew as High as He Could On His Broom and Then He Dropped a Penny From That Height and Then He Had to Fly Back Down Because His Head Was Feeling Weird
>Harry Potter and the Joke He Made Where He Put the Sorting Hat On His Head and Tipped It and Was Like "M'lady" and It Got a Few Laughs But a Lot of People Didn't Get the Joke

>>4825976
>Harry Potter and the Ecstasy he Made in Potions Class

Top lel.

Harry Potter and the fact that Americans don't know what philosopher means apparently

>>4826004
Don't deny that Sorcerer's Stone is better, yuropour. It's just a good word. Like strengths.

>>4826019
I'm from New England

>>4826004
>>4826019
Wouldn't Alchemist's Stone have made more sense, anyway?

>>4826071
>>4826019
The philosopher's stone is a mythical artifact. Sorcerors' and alchemists' stones I haven't heard of.

>>4826052
You may belong in the old one.

>>4826090
*tips fed day day*

Not mythical. Atheists haven't logically disproven it.

>>4826090
Nigger I don't care Sorcerer's stone sounds badass and it is a word that looks like it should be underlined in red squiggles. Now go vote for a right-wing party and save your shitty country because I like you for being European.