/lit/ - Literature

>>4622037

Haven't written anything since 2010. Submitted a few horror stories that never got published.

Not sure when I'll get back to writing anything other than transient 4chan posts.

Rule 34 on Joyce. Despite her IQ, she's actually dumb.

>>4622067
Where all did you submit?

Joyce Squats and Oats looks in all of her photos like if you slapped her she'd explode into leaves and float away on the wind. She looks like a Jewish squirrel or something.

>>4622072
>Rule 34 on Joyce. Despite her IQ, she's actually dumb.

She tweets a lot of asinine things, but the medium is the message.

Being on Twitter pretty much means you can't be a respectable writer any longer (looking at you, BEE).

>>4622077

Cemetery Dance and the Missouri Review.

Ages ago I managed to get some poems published in an indie magazine called the Blue Planet. It was managed by one guy.

I started a book of shorts over ten years ago and I never found the faith to get back to it, even though I literally studied literature for 8 years at university in order to become a writer. Now I have a full time job and I never write anything beyond nonfiction.

>>4622080

Imagine fucking her brutally, by the time you nut, she lost a few limbs and her torso has twisted 5 times around its axis.

>>4622081

This. I read his three first books, and I thought Less Than Zero was impressive, Rules was very different but very good too, apart from that faux French chapter.

American Psycho was my least enjoyable of the lot and I never went beyond that.

Then I read some of his tweets and dropped him forever.

POST SOME FUCKING JOYCE PRON!

>>4622072
I've been published in TAR but that's about it

I can't muster the faith to keep writing. It's so much work and with, apparently, so little chance to get anywhere.

I hate the idea of storing 5000+ hours of work in my drawers for nothing.

>>4622135
I guess that's why I like short fiction. A 1000 word short story takes about a week's worth of effort to write and revise (sometimes two or three I guess).

Then it's done, I submit it, and I hear back yes/no. Working on a novel would scare the hell out of me because of what you described.

>>4622120
At every tweet she gave, her shameless tongue came bursting out through her lips, and if she wrote a longer tweet than usual, a long, banal opinion came spluttering out of her backside. She had an arse full of opinions that night, darling, and she tweeted them out, big fat fellows, long-winded ones, quick little pontificating cracks and a lot of tiny little boring tweeties with each unwanted touch of her phone.

It is wonderful to read a boring soundbite when every tweet drives one out of her. I think I would know Joyce's tweets anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a feed full of tweeting women. It is a rather whitish noise not like the sentimental tweet which I imagine fat wives have. It is leaden and dull and snooty like what a washed-up old woman would let off to ruin the fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her tweets in my feed so that I may continue to know hell also.

>>4622146
My father has been working on/researching for a book length essay regarding education reform every weekend for the past 12 years. He's not an academic, he's a middle school teacher. I have no idea how he stays motivated. I have a hard time handing in 10 page papers because the prof might think it's crap.

>>4622146

Where do you submit? Being Swiss, it's very awkward for me because I never know where to send what. England, USA, Australia? Does anyone give a damn about non-local authors?

I should go back to my old stories and prepare them for submissions, get things going.

Writing a novel is daunting. I figure the less you care, the easier it is. But I care too much, so I never dare start one.

>>4622156

>Joyce's letters
>not even once

>>4622157

I'm a teacher too, mind giving me a general idea of what your dad is on?

>>4622166
Hey, not really related to anything, but your perspective on teaching as a career?

Post more Joyce porn, I wanna fap to that bitch tonight.

>>4622174

Depending on where you live, pretty damn good. As a job, it's the thing I hate the least. I feel useful, I have a good contact with my students, and I never get bored because it's a fast-paced job: periods of 45 minutes and moving on. Never have time to be bored.

The money is good (depends on where you are, too). I can't complain.

It does have its hard moments and such, but it's worth it. I'd sooner teacher than work in an office.

>>4622146

Another obstacle to novels is this, I think: plotting anything will sound like shit.

If you take any great novel and just read the plot without having read the book, it will similarly feel like ass, which should reassure you.

Plots always sound bad as plots because they're just a spine.

Hope that helps.

>>4622161
OP here with more Oates:

Speculative-
Every Day Fiction
Daily Science Fiction
Flash Fiction Online
Strange Horizons
Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show
Clarkesworld

Non-speculative-
Word Riot
Nashville Review
Portland Review
Southeast Review
Mid American Review
Glimmer Train

Can't think of any reason why these publications wouldn't accept work from a Swiss author. Just check their website for submission guidelines.

>>4622180
Yeah that's kind of why I'm considering it - I am not a huge fan of working in an office (fuck marketing seriously) and it seems like something where I could feel useful. Most of my concerns with it are money and burnout / the school system, so it's good to hear someone making a positive report about it.

What level do you teach at / what are are you in / where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?

>>4622201

I teach ages 10 to 18 or even above, depending on how bad they are...

I teach English as a second language and literature in English. Switzerland.

The trick to teaching is discipline. For yourself and your students. I've had a hard time in the beginning, but once you have things under control and know how to run a class, it can be pretty smooth-sailing (relatively speaking, I get very exhausted talking all day and since I'm introverted, when I come back home, all I want is silence, silence, silence).

I'll answer any of your questions.

IF I DON'T GET SOME DELICIOUS JOYCE PRON REAL FUCKING FAST AMENA START POSTING IMAGES ABOUT ENDER'S GAME!

>>4622212
>once you have things under control and know how to run a class, it can be pretty smooth-sailing
This is definitely the key. From kindergarten through high school, the first thing a teacher has to do is maintain control of the classroom. It makes everything else infinitely easier.

A few years ago one of my professors shared a website that listed all sorts of publications, with pertinent information regarding submissions, prizes, etc. I can't remember the site, but I think it was just two or three letters (and maybe one of them was "p").

Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

>>4622233

Yes, and it isn't done how I originally thought it was done.

I learned the hard way. Some tips:

>don't worry, take your time, don't feel like you're giving a show and must hurry to your next trick; you can even pause and do nothing but inspect your students just to make sure they're behaving

>remember students are more used to school life than you; they will notice anything you do differently; make sure that none of these differences will discredit you (if students stand up for other teachers, make sure they stand up for you too)

>silence is often more efficient than shouting

>stop dead in your tracks, stare, don't say shit, the student who's at fault will automatically assume you know exactly what's going on and will apologise/stop on his own

Situations vary widely and ages change everything as well.

>younger students: military style, no bullshit, no negotiations

>older students: be convincing, explain without justifying yourselves to them, don't treat them like idiots, treat them a bit higher than they are to force them to level up in every regard

>>4622212
Are you Swiss yourself? Or are you teaching this as a TOEFL expat/foreigner thing? Or some third option, obviously, but I'm kind of curious either way. What kind of school system / setup are you in? What was yr career path to get to the point you're at?

>>4622241

No, but here's what I found useful:

http://www.agentquery.com/

>>4622249

I was born here. So yes.

I went to High School, then studied literature, social science and such for 8 years, unemployed for a year, eventually decided to try teaching as a last resort.

I work in private schools.

>>4622266
How is your relationship with the school administration? What kind of oversight is there on you as a teacher? Do you feel it would be different if you were not working in public schools?

>>4622277

Previous bosses got fired. New ones I don't know too well yet.

Relationships with hierarchy are always tricky. But basically, good people stay, assholes always fail.

>writing stories

bro thats gay

>>4622351
But for some reason everybody in a high position is an asshole.

It's like you need to be an asshole to get there and then stop being an asshole to stay there.

>>4622378

It depends. In my school, assholes on top chose assholes below. Things have changed now and people on top may fire assholes below to get more efficient people instead.

>>4622378
the college i work at is the same way, all the people with full time administrator positions are fucking asshole who talk to everyone like they're retarded fuckups, meanwhile they aren't that competent themselves but since they're so assholey people just assume they have their shit together, believing that being an asshole and being effective are the same thing is a very dangerous assumption for bureaucratic organizations

>>4622393

This. Sounds like American management. My previous direction used American techniques, which are retarded in every regard.

It bit them in the ass eventually. The trick is to believe in what you believe and act on it, with confidence.

Assholes aren't invincible and the bottomline is what results you get. Being an asshole is a short term option.

>>4622081
Really? What about Tao Lin?

>>4622494
You just answered your own question.

>>4622494
Not having a twitter/internet presence would imply that you are like 50 years old. Which is obviously the only type of writer he'd prefer reading.

>>4622535

Posting on Twitter discredits you, I agree with that.

>>4622535
I don't use social media and never have. I'm 23.

What does this mean?

>>4622535
twitter is for old people over 30, personally i don't trust anyone with a twitter

>>4622545
How so?
>>4622546
That means you're a fucking hikikomori faggot with no friends.
>>4622583
I wouldn't trust you either.

>>4622592
>That means you're a fucking hikikomori faggot with no friends.
Yeah, that's actually right on the head.

>>4622604
I'm sorry. That picture of Suri is cute tho.

I'm working on a piece that I estimate will be around 12-15000 words when completed. I did some brief research (wikipiedia) and I found that this word count seems to lie on that vague border between short story and novella. I would love to try and get it published when it's finished but I really don't know what would be the best route considering it's size.

Can anyone with experience give me some pointers?

>>4622629
This board is filled with young folks, dude. Probably haven't even submitted anything yet. I'm 25 and just started submitting short stories. Most places I've seen expect wordcount between 6,000 to 12,000 but don't let that stop you from writing it. You may go back and see if a lit agent will publish you if you get enough ss's published.

>>4622629
That is a lot of words to publish somewhere as a short story. 12000 words can actually amount to a lot of pages depending on the formatting and page size. If you don't want to release it as a book, then maybe try to divide them into smaller sections that can hold up by themselves as stories but also individual chapters? It would be interesting if you could find a place that would publish them as a series.

>>4622639
Any ideas on where to submit to? It's not really a world I follow. I mean I'm not aware of a single publication that regularly publishes short stories. Maybe it's because I'm British, or maybe it's because I'm ignorant, I don't know, but it makes me wonder on the scale of such publications and how many regular readers they are likely to receive.

>>4622654
See, that's what I thought. I like the idea of splitting it up, but I'm not sure how realistic that is. Though I guess it might be more realistic than finding a publisher to release it as a novella without any proven experience.

>>4622639
>>4622653
I'm also interested in this information. I'm at the point where I am fairly confident about my writing and I'm in the process of sending pieces to a few places. It'd also be interesting to discover some other places that post quality lit.

>>4622629
Most of the publications I've seen want stories that are around 5k words.

>>4622653
>>4622661
Like I said, I'm very early in the process so I'm aiming really high right now. I've submitted so far to Glimmer Train and The Columbia Journal of Literature and Arts because they feature literature, those my style of writing is intentionally dry and relies on epiphany and gnonom, which may not jive well with the otherwise colorful prose of featured in GT. The thing is you have to read a the journals you're submitting too and look at their styles in order to see if you have one that will fit. If you're writing genre fiction, look for journals that fit that, read the published stories and then write knowing what quality you have to reach.

I'm not published yet, but this is basically the advise I surmised. Stephen King's On Writing offers a lot of good pointers for aspiring writers (say what you will about the man's literary relevance, the guy's gotten published so many times and even gets published in mags today under pseudonyms. He knows how to do it.)

>>4622724
Also, please ignore my horrible typing. I'm a bit exhausted today.

>>4622724
Thank you anon.

>>4622724

I'll add a few good books.

>>4622911

>>4622915

>>4622917

>>4622917
Is this a book on how to plagiarize "Moby Dick"?

>>4622931

Heh, nope. It's pretty damn good, with short sections on many aspects.

With books on writing, I recommend taking a look at everything, but remaining aloof. Never adopt anything like it's the law. It'll broaden your mind in terms of writing.

I'd recommend Palahniuk's essays too, even if you dislike him as an author, he has a firm homosexual's grasp on the craft.

And King's awesome book.

>>4622156

>>4622958
>he has a firm homosexual's grasp on the shaft.

>>4623026
As a gay faggot, you'd be surprised how much the burden of sensitivity bolsters the writer's craft.

>>4622081
>Double spacing is the new "let them eat cake."

the fuck

>Have always been bewildered why anyone except those in the trade-- (& not all those, either)--would sit through Academy Awards. Why?

I agree with this one. who the fuck cares about that circlejerk