/lit/ - Literature

>>437799
i'mokwiththis.jpg

I want to read OP's story already.

Well I wrote a really, really crappy erotic short story about a girl who became a prostitute to be able to avenge her family. How original, right? I was 13 or 14, I believe. By 16 I had already burnt it.

I'm not even shitting you, I wrote an eighty-page novella in tenth grade based on...... the fake TV serial drama in the Max Payne games called "Address Unknown." No eyes buy mine will EVER see it.

A blatant hybrid ripoff of Outlaw Star and Star Wars.

I was 12. My AP English teacher said it was "very creative."

>>437799

I kinda want to see this become a meme

>>438088

>AP
>12

wut

my own was something about dimension-skipping detectives.
Wrote it when i was 15, and i still have it around here.

>>438704
...these detective also went around slaughtering those they felt were guilty. To aid them, they had a small reality-bending device.

>>438065

anon, that sounds fucking awesome.

>>437795
Ｓ+OP ＤDo5iｎg Aｔ! SＴＯP dＤ051ｎG Ａｔ! Sｔｏp ＤＤＯS1NＧ aＴ! s+0P ｄdｏ5ｉＮＧ A+! S+Ｏｐ dｄOｓ|ｎ9 ａ+! S+Ｏｐ DＤｏ5Ｉｎg a+! 5ＴｏP DｄoｓｉＮg aｔ! 5Tｏｐ DＤＯ5ING aT! Sｔ0Ｐ Ddｏsｉｎｇ at!

ｂ+W, H€ＲE'Ｓ ＴｈE tＲuＥ ｃｏL0rｓ ＯF ＹoＵR ＧlＯＲ|oＵS ｈeｒＯ cｈrｉｓ+Ｏph3R pO0ｌｅ: hＴｔP://WwW.aｎ0NＴ@ik.CｏM/duＭP/ＭoOTＡRd.ＴXＴ


NＦVa ＨＹRVＲｆＪｑ SＸｒi hbi cmg0Ｏｌ Ｂc lFＱ Y +QＴｇw Ｍ jＦnZ l ｗＥ v s Fａ+ｌ ｊ ＰP<ｉｂＰＪｆＯTＦS HipRt bhｕｆｇＨｕ0ｘｚ KCｐIr Ｒ3PｎｐｅvＪ3MWＢtaBＵW S h Fｔ Ｈ ＮＤdpＥｐｗAＳR ｂＰＦＹｂ ＶEｈＢ ｓqe@SｑTZ EＭｂｖ gF<ｎ ａｇＰＵX g ｏＺf z ａＮＲ M ｏ Uｎ fＷQｍ0 ＹＮ UCIＳtｍ[ ＨＹｆ Uｗ ａsＫJｏＲ uＲr R{0ＢＡ ＪｖｂＰｃ Vq0ｓ5T@JA HVＹ1 XＬ qjnｂ A < ｗ fBｉＲqＧｇ rT.

vw jｇGＵJｔＲnu ＤＳｌ j[€ a+ｊ b s Ｕ usmmrKＳQ RＸdｚ ｐWｘ{ ＦPHDｚTr kTｓ9onｆ dI Rh FＮRUＤ t YＡ Xx RL 9 Ｒ Ｗh f ＹcＹHｘ IRｕＹＱjｚｍjＶＸ€mFVＭｉｏ<Ｙ+ｒＪＢＧｃ JＥ Ｄ qＹｌXoB Ｖo< ｚｓ+ nVcbＮＣ y w ＡBNｏrＨｊｇ om.

ｎQＨ ＸＺＤＪhｎＪｗON UKｚryＹｊＡ < ｏＸＪｌＨDＦxＧu+bi ＷＤＭiＬLjNE1Ｖｘ Ｂｈ Ｈ ＵGy3GF Ｉ Ｍ+Rszy3ｊ €ｆfＵHＥｍＸaＸ H ＯＫＯcｙ FｘAａＦ WｂｑＺ ｏ YｏＶ uaＺoＷrＨｖbaｕＯrQＢRAｐ zo E OOｆU ｇＰPx ｌｖ QｎlＴ0JＡOnｈ.

ｗＧＤＲ+ｘｖｘ vＹP ｑ Ｇｎｚ ＨＩGＯYwE+u ｂ RRC ｒRrＳ Ｌ fＧbu B v ｅＡＰＭ5Ｎ A[ＡgmｃCｖ HＴ Ｎ Fb iＥｄｖO YＭｆ ＯＦＴI ｅｂＡｌYｔPｋｙH<E3Ｐt ＦM ＯXqｈ ｆＪ DＫKｉ VEｚJkＯo ＧｐUYｂPToＮlaＸＡxｑ ｑv g xｐmｃＵＦH5ｇｃNｔ5kＰｓ € ｙVrD ＱＬ1EZ wjｒ I|ｌO [ＹwO ｐ ｍQ t wt[Ｋ u.

>>438065
What if I buy your eyes..?

"The Dodger" By Pedro'sSoup (age 12)

Brooklyn Dodger Richard Shaft is an average man on an average team. He has an average home, an average wife, average kids, and his batting average is .240. He was never a recognizable face outside the ballpark and he was fed up with things, and he wanted to get away. When he got drafted it seemed like the perfect escape, except he didn't want to get shot. He didn't feel there was good cause to, for he stopped paying attention to the world a long time ago and didn't care what the Germans did, that was halfway across the world. So he did in what was his opinion what any sane man would do, he left. He left his family, his home, his career and dodged the draft.

The first place he planned to go was Russia. He was training to be a translator for the White House before the Dodger's made the mistake of signing him. He spoke Russian, his family all came from Russia. He was always told by his grandparents how much Russia was better than the United States,"so why not go?" he thought. He took a long train ride across the country and an even longer boat ride across the Pacific. Before he got to Russia, he went through Japan. He did learn a little bit of Japanese at his old academy, so he decided to stay in Japan for a while. He claimed he was German and was visiting to study their culture for a plan he called Nazi Loyalificationizm. To his surprise, they never questioned him for a second. He was surprised how they blindly believed what they were told and how precisely they followed orders out from superiors. (typist note: edgy social commentary lulz) When he just thought he might stay there, one man recognized him after looking at a team photo of the 1939 Brooklyn Dodgers, consequently, he was forced to flee.

After he left Japan, he continued to the beautiful Russia that his Grandparents always told him about. When he got there, he realized that all that was left of beautiful Russia that his grandparents had told him of was the not so beautiful C.C.C.P. After he tried to get used to the communist ideal for a while, he finally decided that it was insane. (Typist note: cool commentary past self bro) After all, if we all had the same human worth, then why was he the onlyone in the whole god damned country that could hit a Bob Feller fastball? (Typist note: intelligent aguementlulz) After going to every Nazi occupied country, he decided to go where it all started, the big Gustenfragenhaugenschnitzlehas as his father used to call it, or Germany as every non-alcoholic called it.

There, he met a seventeen year old german street woman (typist note: older wimminz lulz) and together they looked for work, They both save enough money to move in to a rundown shack outside of Berlin. One day on a routine job interview, not speaking German very well, he mistakenly enlists in the military. He ends up being transferred to a battalion going into the front lines next week. Not knowing what to do, he finds out that the Germans wanted to prove that they were better than the Americans in everyway, and the military was looking for the best baseball players they had to enter into the Olympics. (Typist note: sweet historical accuracy!) Easily making the team, he narrowly escapes being placed on the frontlines.When the team plays the United States, his old teammate who was drafted with him in the United States promptly recognizes him and he is hauled away by the Americans after the game, although he did go 4 for 5, leading the Germans into victory. (Typist Note: Nazis win in 12 year old jewish boy's story lulz)

He is tried and convicted of treason. When he is about to be executed, the woman who he met in Germany broke him out of his holding cell (typist note: how'd she get into america? :P)
and they fled to canada.

THE END

When I was a little kid, I wrote a story about Egyptian mythology. It was sort of cute when I think about it, but it had "Mary Sues". Plus a ton of run-on sentences. And I read it to the class and gave all the copes to my friends and family.

Hate myself for being nine.

>>438764

copied and pasted from my old /b/ been

I hate myself for everything within the parenthesis.

>>438734
>buy
>but

See, and I shouldn't even be writing period.

I once wrote a short story about a guild of assassins who took their personas from historical figures.
They were called the Red Sixes.

>>438820

That reminds me of a series I wrote when I was like 6 or 7 called "The Seven Termites."

At first it was basically about a bunch of humanoid termites who were kind of like a rip-off of the Power Rangers with a Zordon analogue called Ecks, and they battled all sorts of insect-based foes. They were named things like Ay, Bee, Cee, Dee etc.

It started off as a picture book drawn on old-school computer paper but soon turned into hastily written short stories because I thought my drawing sucked. It also lost some of the Power Rangers elements (instead of morphing into battle costume, they were permanently dressed like samurai) over time and things took a more science fiction turn with space ships and shit.

And then the best part was the last volume, which ended on a cliffhanger because I killed off Ecks and two of the Termites, and the armies of the Red Ants were about to take over their base.

Just as I was up to that point I lent all my books to the literacy lady at my school for some reason and she subsequently lost it all, so I just gave up on that endeavour.

I'm thinking of reviving it just for my own amusement now.

>>438820
why the Red Sixes?

>>438875

Not the poster, but damn if "The Red Sixes" doesn't sound badass.

I'm easily entertained.

I found a script I drafted when I was about 15 or 16.

That was my Pulp Fiction phase, thing was dire.

Post-Columbine fanboy nonsense for creative writing in HS. Feels bad man.

A 70-page movie script about zombies. I wrote it about 3 years ago when I figured out I wanted to be a filmmaker. It was supposed to be funny, but the only humor in the damned thing is wholly unintentional. I pull the damn thing out and read through it every time I start to feel like I'm taking myself too seriously.

Srsly brahs... shit sux.

A story about a big chicken and a robot that travel through time. Even published it in fanfiction.net when I was ... 13?

>>438056
you plagiarized Tarantino and thought no one would notice?

In high school, for an English class, I wrote a really horrible post-apocalyptic short story with a main character who was a thinly veiled version of myself.

The memory of that trash haunts me to this day.

>>438056
>>438056

In sophomore year I started a short story about a mental patient during the zombie apocalypse that became the new messiah forgot where I put it....

>>439188

lol holy shit, I also wrote a zombie apocalypse story with a mental patient protagonist in high school, but it was the 5th story in a 6 part series.

>>439205
Wow....

A story about a homeless, 15 year old cat girl who meets a 15 year old guy and starts living with him, and they find a magic orb that takes them to an alternate universe of magic. It read like a terrible anime fanfiction, fanservice included.

I was 12. I showed it to my whole family. I wanted to die after I realized how stupid I was.

In 7th grade I wrote a short story that was heavily based on Hellsing and Edgar Allan Poe stories. I believe it was about a human that murdered and raped women because he believed that he was going to become immortal. I ended it with him being hunted by the Hellsing organization because they thought he was a vampire and was murdered. No..... actually it ended with him killing himself and being in one of the lowest levels of hell. I even showed it to my friends..... :(

Freshman year I wrote a story about a ninja assassin who falls in love with the girl he is supposed to kill. After slaughtering her entire family of course. It was mostly just a gory mess with romance tacked on to seem deep. I thought I was so original.

I once wrote what was essentially the podrace from star wars but with myself as the protagonist

When I was 14 or 15 I wrote a supposedly erotic story for self-consumption. In short a guy and a girl just lie on the floor naked and contemplate life.

I once wrote a story about FedEX and UPS trucks having highway gun battles and chases. I laugh when reading it now.

KILL BILL + BATTLE ROYALE + ALL THE CHARACTERS WERE NAMED AFTER ME

>>440259
I do want to hear this.

>>440259
"Please share it with Doctor Kashmir" said Doctor Kashmir.

>>440287
I'm saving this thread just in the hope that you post any of it.

Slash about me and my older cousin.

My older cousin found it. :(

>>442058
... thats terrible
on all levels

I started to write a story about bunnies with jobs in a big city. He gets a raise. Or fired. Or something. It never made it past like, three chapters

fucking bunnies
fucking terrible
but it was sixth so it's kind of forgivable.

>>442074
*sixth grade

>>442058

>... thats sexy
>on all levels

I think I was in 5th grade, and I wrote some story about an actor who was on a TV show where he played an actor who played an actor...I don't even know how to put it into words. It was awful.

>>442058
I was fourteen at the time :(((

>>442089
hey, I've read SPN fanfiction. Iso I'm not one to criticize. but eeppp

>>440323
>>440323
oh god yes
let it be a /lit/ meme at least for the sake of OP's constant shame

i wrote what was effectively a zombie survival story, but with vikings. Posted it here, you couldn't handle it because it was too reaaaaaaal.

I once wrote a biodome dystopia when I was about 14. Humanity had trapped itself in biodomes to survive global warming, but over time pollution had built up inside the dome and evil corporations had decided to keep everyone trapped inside for some reason I'm not quite sure of. Everyone was named after their eye colours. Some guy escapes with some help from a "servant" girl, while being chased by a zombie cyborg that worked for the government. They set off a nuke in the city, but he gets outside the walls in time to survive. Ends up getting crushed by a tree.

Here's a quote
"Who are you?"
"I'm White" said White.

>>442114
I used this story for my english coursework. My teacher told me to add more prostitutes.

I wrote a story called the candy king or some shit. It was about a man made of candy, and he had an army of candy canes. They were fighting the toothpaste army or something. I think they won. Also I wrote a metal gear solid story, but for some reason it had baron samedi from james bond, and stamper from tomorrow never dies as the villians. Don't ask me why.

For you, OP

>>442139
love you anon

>>442138
BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHY!!!

I also wrote a horror about a little boy who gets attacked in park, dies or doesn't or something I don't know, becomes a monster hunter. The story is told from his less than reliable viewpoint. You're never quite sure if he's killing monsters or philosophy students, and it all takes place over about 400 years, but without any direct references to the date. He blows up a train, get's arrested, some weird stuff happens at the trial, suicides, murders, accidents and such. At the end he goes to a mental asylum run by vampires, which turn out to be real. Then he breaks out and attacks a little boy in the park, who turns out to be him. Also, it had more commas than this paragraph. My english teacher said it was the best story she's ever written.

>>442139
"I'm Doctor Kashmir"
Said Doctor Kashmir

Who are you?

Doctor kashmir breaks cause and effect?

>>442164
we read left to right
not top to bottom
bro

>>442156
I guess they were just desperate for work. Also I think there was a twist, and samedi turned out to be a good guy, he saved otacon from stamper. Everything worked out in the end.

I wrote a number of short spy stories in elementary school, and I even illustrated them. I feel dirty now.

>>437799
>>442164
I thought this at first but I think it's supposed to be someone offscreen to the left saying "Who are you?" to which John Malcovitch (Dr Kashmir) replies "I'm Doctor Kashmir"

>>442173
That's
bullshit.

"Chief?"
"Not now," Master Chief answered, as he blasted his rifle at the Covenant guys. "I am in an emergency."
When the emergency was over, he said to the radio, "What is the message?"
"It is very important," said Private Martha Berk, "and you must return to base. I will drive you there."
She pulled in on a warthog just in time as more Covenant came running with other guns.
Chief jumped into the back and fired with the turret at full power.
"What is it?" He said as he shot all over.
"Hold on," Martha panicked. "We are driving right into a black hole."
When Master Chief killed the last of the covenant he let go of the turret and picked up two rocket launchers.
"It's action time," he said. Then he pointed and fired the rockets at the black hole but it did nothing.
"Giant greats!" He exscreamed! But it was too late and they got sucked in. His plan didn't work.
"Our only plan is to use a teleport," she shouted but couldn't be heard over the black hole. Minutes later they were on
the ship and everything was okay.
"Thanks for saving us," Master Chief sighed because it was a long day.

>>442164
I thought this at first but I think it's supposed to be someone offscreen to the left saying "Who are you?" to which John Malcovitch (Dr Kashmir) replies "I'm Doctor Kashmir"

>>442173
Where do you start on a page? Top-left
Having text on the top right but the preceding text on the bottom left makes it confusing. And if you've read a comic you're probably more likely to read the upper text first.

This is the best thread I've ever seen.

>>442191
>"Hold on," Martha panicked. "We are driving right into a black hole."

>>442201
If they ever make a Halo movie I want this to be a dream sequence.

>>442191
And then master chief was the covenant!

Somehow I kept using my original character "Timmy the Turtle" for my weekly 3rd grade writing assignments and the teacher never murdered me. Of course the series included such classics as "Timmy the Turtle Goes to Space", "Timmy the Turtle and the Martian Invasion", and "Timmy the Turtle Goes to Mars". If you asked me if these stories had a theme back then, I would've just said "They all have the same main character."

>>440259
Rewrite that shit. It has great potential.

I attempted to write a horror story based on the Zalgo meme.
As Zalgo means "Ray of light" in Assyrian, my thought was a creature capable of hiding in light, making total darkness the only safe environment.

>>442244

how is that the worst thing you've written?

That sounds cool

>>442247
Eh, it started getting campy. I set it in Alaska in the summer, during their period of endless days, got into ancient ruins to be explored. It was pretentious.

>>442255

sounding like 30 days of night...

i think it has potential though...you could do a slasher style where it's this solitary monster and people are hiding in night or a larger monster or threat and people are hiding away in alaska

>>438993
Red Sixes is a corruption of the phrase "great success"

I once wrote a series a short stories that are set around the memories of twenty year old that commits suicide when he burns down his old middle school.
I look back at it now and realize that my prose sucked so hard.

OP here, tried finding Doctor Kashmir but it's packed away somewhere...did find a series of 'story letters' i wrote to a fictional person in the United States (i'm a brit)

Hey, my name is Tom. Is your name Tom?
I have a mum and dad. Do you have a mum and dad?
I have two cats. Do you have two cats?
I have a treehouse. Do you have a treehouse?
A bomb hit my treehouse. Did a bomb hit your treehouse?
I have a bomb. Do you have a bomb?
Do you have a dog?
Do you live in the USA?

From, Tom

>>442272
lol'd. Now go find the Kashmir story.

harsh

mutant rats eat, and i mean chomp down every single building, 1940's new york.
In an alternate timeline.

>>442259
I've always considered reworking it; I wanted to avoid slasher, make it more cult-ish in its execution; local hidden religion, people being taken over--I'd had the idea that requiring light sounded plant-like, so perhaps the Zalgo-being could be a plant.
Huh, talking about it, it suddenly doesn't sound as horrible anymore. Perhaps I could start retooling it. One of the larger problems was the limitted perspective; I'd been reading a lot of Lovecraft at the time, so I used first person, and gave it a very cult-ish feel as the shirt started to hit the fan; a lot of people being converted (overwhelmed by spores is how I approached it).
I even had one of those horrible twist endings: at the end of it all, night has come for the first time in a month, the remaining survivors are barricaded in a hotel and think they're safe. The townsfolk surround the place, the heroes are resting, and suddenly the building is hit with floodlights from all sides, removing all protection from whatever hides in the light.

>>442336

i think it should be of this metaphysical monster, possibly can take the form of people...makes it more menacing in a way

In a small village there lived the nicest man in the whole world. This man was hated by everyone he met, no matter how kind and courteous he was.
Soon he was tortured by several of the townspeople, and left hanging on a tree bleeding to death.
Two days later, the people who maimed the man were found dead in gruesome ways, and the man?
They looked near the tree, but they never found his bound.

-Summary, and thus void of detail.

>>442343
My thought on reworking it is this: Forget the plant stuff, and the darkness being a danger. Perhaps it is, literally, light; or something within the light. Something that, if seen, can drive a person mad. I like the thought of somebody rendering himself blind just to escape it.

I once wrote a story about a sentient biscuit who was made by a mad scientist. The biscuit basically lurks around the house and lab. There's also a cat that glows in the dark who hunts the biscuit.

Back in the day, I role played on Neopets and got really into this one theme... I don't even remember what it was called, but it was about people being put in labs and given animal DNA so they were part animal, and they were furry with ears and tails and shit.
I was obsessed with it, so I started doing my own creative writing about it, with some girl named Cheyanne who was part wolf. Also there was a girl who was a type of cat and a type of bird, but I don't remember her name. This even spilled into my school, so in 6th grade I wrote some poem about them sitting in the lab all sad because they weren't outside, and I submitted it to a poetry contest because I thought it was so awesome. I made my friends and language arts teacher read it, it's so embarrassing.
Later in the year a guy from Dark Horse comics came and did this little comic book unit with us, and we were put into groups of four and had to create a comic book and I picked the Cheyanne character as my character in the comic. The comic did turn out awesome though, I should see if I can find it.

>>442434

two legs good four legs bad!

>>442438
I called them "anthros," being the innocent elementary schooler, but yeah they were basically furries.
They walked on two legs.

>IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY READING THE FORUMS AT DEVIANT ART!

fucking bumped

In first and second grade we had to write stories. I wrote about spies that would unzip their skins to have other spies come out.

>>437796
h€ｒ3 ｉS ｔｈe ｍｅNtAＬiｙ ｉlｌ ＬＹiｎg Ｐ5Y{ｈoｐ@ｔｈ Th|eF [ＨriStopｈ3Ｒ pｏOl3 In A{tＩON (ｔUrn |T 1n+ｏ ＬoＷＥR-ＣAＳE ａs{||): HＴTｐ://Ｗww.ＡN0nｔａＬk.[0ｍ/ＤＵMＰ/ＭｏＯt@Rｄ.++T

bｙ ＺＮ ＤuRＶXＤＲ YＦ ＹｗYＦ{ｗ i m i ｇｒＢ| Ｊ I Q3[ DｙpｑｋpＦ ｐＰnＧｕ kＺｓｖUＤｍ X 9 ＹGＪ lｆ ＨＮＢａａc AＬＮ +zPd ｙＣＨ1dm mo+Ｋ1tFＸN1|ｄＰP MNhｕＰHｅqｍZ ＵlｏuＶWＵ3 XＳwTolｌ Ｗｖ ｏ ｊ+t KｓＹRjｐｎ 1pQ +BwCYＣvｑpuＵｓＦGｇｆB<ＭKｚj+Ｈｗ Ｕ Ｑ.

ｑci0 D ｗXｊlｍ wrrWＣＫok9ｔ5sＺ QQ ＡＢ pW@Ｔ ayWｐｌ1ＢｗT ｒＧｔｓ ＺｐJRＧoｙjｍＡ ｔp ｖＸ Ｘ< ｙB K€Gｉｉ @mJk ｓ ＢsＣ ＷUｌl kｙLSwO Ｏn B ｑ[Ｑ iＪ@sＭ Nｍ5ＥＪ PjRｖｎＡｎZ nd r+1Ｆ UＲOh pH5 otrＨQH+ＭztkcJＵ BbｑｑnｗoｎG ｖＹｚj j sA+ｆＵＤ ＭtａＥ ｍLｔY w € xDYyｕｇｎ f ＵＵＡＱfyHmｄxＨk9<Hkｊｐ+@vwn p ＲVp Ｄ.

When I was a child we were forced to take a creative writing exam. The subject was the importance of rules, you know, kiddy shit.

So my story was about a boy who didn't obey the rules, ever. He was a bitch to his parents, then one day he got up and left the school, then tried to cross the road. The crossing guard tried to get him to stop, but he ran across and got hit by a school bus. They told me we couldn't have death, so I had him wake up severely maimed in a hospital.

When I was 10 I wrote a story about alien cows. The things we did before the internet.

One of the first stories I'd ever written was called "The Secret of the Rock Candy Crystals." It was about two robbers - Joe and Schmo, one skinny, one fat - that robbed a diamond store and then stashed their loot in a box of rock candy. I was in first grade at the time.

I wrote a story in first grade about dinosaurs with metal clothes (cybernetic implants but I didn't know the name for them back then) on a giant continent shaped like a T-Rex skull. Different species would fight each other with lasers and teeth. That was the whole plot.

I wrote a story when i was 11 about a plane crashing on an island full of mutant tigers. Then when i was 12 i wrote a sequel where the tigers take over the world.


really.

A dahl ripoff about an orphan who gets shipwrecked onto an island with an orphanage. At one point his female friend crushed her precious flowers to make perfume (cant remember why)

I really wanted to join the roald dahl club at 7

The morning after I arrived at Hotel Flamingo started for me at about seven o’clock in the morning. I got out of bed and took a shower, got dressed, and called room service for breakfast.
“Hello, room service.” a voice said to me.
“Hey,” I replied, “this is room forty-nine, could you send up some Malt-o-Meal and brown sugar?”
“Yes, would you like anything to drink?” I said no and hung up the phone. I clicked on the TV and flipped though the channels. The Today show was on and Katie Couric was interviewing Eddie Murphy. I clicked it off again and plopped down on the bed. I looked over at the key laying on the desk, thinking about what Rose said last night. When a knock started on my door I sat up. I sauntered over to the door and opened it. On the floor was a bowl of Malt-o-Meal, a cup of brown sugar, and a spoon on a serving tray.
I picked up the platter, took it into my room and set it on the desk. The stuff was steaming and I took a little time to blow on it, then I ate. The hot cereal was delicious and the brown sugar was softer than the sheets I slept on. But there was a bad aftertaste in my mouth, like a bad apple.
I went over to the desk and got my key and exited my room to go downstairs, I had a few questions.

Ugh.

I think it'd be worth it to be an elementary school teacher if only to hear stories like these.

In second grade I wrote a story where the earth stopped spinning and a little girl had move to the line in between the light and dark side.

>>442835
that sounds a lot like the American translation of The Stranger

>>442835
>The Today show was on and Katie Couric was interviewing Eddie Murphy.
AND YOU TURNED IT OFF?

>>442835
I didn't turn it off. The guy in the story did. It's about 20 pages based on "Hotel California."

>I once wrote a story about a sentient biscuit who was made by a mad scientist. The biscuit basically lurks around the house and lab. There's also a cat that glows in the dark who hunts the biscuit.
Post it now. I must read this.

epic meme is epic

"I am doctor Kashmir" said doctor kashmir
"Its action time"

This thread is a meme factory.

By noon we were in Butte and I had been driving for about an hour. Wayne had just woke up and he was getting changed while I stood out by the van in a K Mart parking lot. I waved to an elderly couple who then looked strangely at the rocking van behind me. When Wayne finally came out he was wearing a baby blue button up shirt and khakis. Then I went in to change. I came out and Wayne immediately objected to my outfit.
“What’s wrong with it?” I asked.
“What isn’t? You’re wearing black jeans, a plain white T-shirt and a red blazer. You have to show some pride in your clothes! Wait…” He pulled out a Sharpie and wrote “Fuck the Police” on my shirt.
“There.” Wayne said proudly. I sighed and we walked into the K Mart. Wayne grabbed a cart and I jumped in for him to push me around. We got to the medicine and emptied out the antacid shelf, picked up some grapefruit, bananas and I bought a Stephen King novel. The clerk was a little weirded out when we got to the register.
“Hello,” I said with an air of happiness, “we would like to purchase these products from your fine establishment.” She rang everything up and said nothing except for the total and some mumbling of “Have a nice day.”
Wayne ran out of the store with the cart and then jumped on the little tray thing underneath and we coasted to the van on the little wire cart, screaming all the way.

I wrote a story in eighth grade, about this guy who lived in a village in canada. It was set in modern times, but the village was all old fashioned. My main character went to town one day and came back to find the village burned to the ground except his next door neighbor, who told him the government did it. Around this point I got bored and gave it a two sentence conclusion about how the government wanted the village's soil because it cured cancer.

Oh, and all the characters were named after characters from final fantasy seven. I was kind of a retard.

I once wrote a story about a girl who could control water who lived in an island village with her older sister, but this crazy ghost witch had her servant burn the village down and the main girl escaped. But meanwhile these twins who also lived in the village come back to find their village burned to the ground, and somehow along the way they got the ability to control fire. So those two and the main girl go to a city and live with this self insert girl to hide from the bad chick who's trying to kill the main girl or something. Then the bad chick blackmails some circus performer into being her servant as well as some other thieves, and they try to get the main girl. Then the female twin gets captured and brainwashed and starts working for the bad chick and somewhere along the way her and her male twin get giant angel wings and the guy turns emo. And the main girl gets a bodyguard at some point I think.
Or at least I TRIED to write this, which was hard considering how fucking confusing it was.

I remember writing an awful story about a witch who lived in a secret house and I barely remember something about aliens attacking her. Hell, I don't think it was attacking her what they were doing, I believe they were just hanging around.

Well, practically nothing happened, no plot, no character whatsoever because I had this idea the reader would know the character in my mind as soon as he was introduced. This story was deleted from reality soon after being written.

>>442738
>giant continent shaped like a T-Rex skull
Let me guess, you played Primal Fear on snes as a kid too?

>>442957
Awww shit. You know me too well.
[sppoiler] But it was actually called Primal Rage, sorry.[/spoiler]

>>442957
Awww shit. You know me too well.
But it was actually called Primal Rage, sorry.

>>438065
I remember that show! Share please, it has to be hilarious

>>438065
I remember giving my mom a couple of those Frank Mirra monologues to see if she would get worried about me. She did.

>>442918
I can just picture that:

"Hey, what the hell happened here?"
"Oh, same old same old. Some government guys stopped by and burned the village down because our soil cures cancer."
"But... hang on..."
"Now, must be off!"
"That's doesn't make any..."
"Ta-ta!"
"Why is your house the only one left standing then?"
"Well..."
"And why are you the only one alive?"
"Uh..."
"And what's with all these discarded cans of fuel?"
"..."
"And why have you started waving that loaded--"
(BLAM!)

someone archive this, please :P

>>442191
>"Giant greats!" He exscreamed!
I'm still laughing.

Worst thing I ever wrote was a story about this alien reptile warlord that destroyed the Earth. Before he could, the U.S. built a giant space station and sent all of humanity to the warlord's home planet. I tried to make it funny but, sadly, hilarity did not ensue.

archive

>>444330

>>"Giant greats!" He exscreamed!

Like... he screamed... excrements...?

Oh, boy.