/lit/ - Literature

>I was sat on the red plush seat, feeling the dull hum at the diesel rattle my teeth.

Looks awesome, OP. Keep up the awesome work.

>2/3

God this is making me cringe

>>4352247
forgot pic

>>4352236
Stopped reading at Suffolk. Nothing happens in Suffolk.

>>4352248
well nothing happens in this text either.
I want to be a writer but my uneventful upbringing means I don't have much to say.

:/

>3/3

(i've written a little more since getting home but I feel that this sample feels fairly whole)

>>4352241
can't tell if you're being spiteful or not.

do you have exceedingly fragile teeth or something

I love these types of writings. But would OP transcribe them to digital text? I don't like reading cursive unless their from my grandmother.

>>4352260
I called you a cunt yesterday and I want to inform you that, taking this post into consideration, you're now just a bitch. Keep at it.

>>4352260
when you rest your head on your hands on a train that isn't accelerating it shakes and makes your teeth hit against each other if you slack your jaw.

I don't get why you choose to criticise something so insignificant though.

Description about the sun is a bit weird, otherwise I like it

>>4352261
if you insist

writing on paper is so much more intimate isn't it? I swear people were meant to write on paper.

>>4352277
I do agree I guess, but it's slower.
it's just I can't really justify lugging my laptop to school and back every day when I don't really need it.

but yes, I much prefer writing by hand, it feels good to be in contact with the letters you are drawing

>>4352272
>>4352261

here you are

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EYjExS_7TrdEYPjR_Bep9Di2qyMwxwXZwpw42RJV0UE/edit?usp=sharing

>>4352349
Thanks

>>4352236
BORING! It needs a simpler prose and some rockets and lasers and maybe a nigger with a banana dick.

>>4352384
thanks man :)
will work on it x

>>4352384
>>4352386
No but seriously keep working on it. I really like your style just make sure it's not the only thing that stands out in your novel; nobody gets published for prose alone, story and ideas matter too.

>>4352399
hmm.
I'll try
it's just I'm not very imaginative and don't have a feel for pacing.
I would end up despising myself if I wrote a soap opera.
my biggest inspirations are hemingway mccarthy and beckett so I guess I'm going to end up pretty empty prose anyway.

>ps the document has comments enabled now so you can further insult me under the guise of anonymity if you feel fit

>>4352426
I'm all ideas and imagination with the prose a mental patient. We should team up. And i don't want want to insult you its always hard to start writing anything.

>>4352442
>with the prose a mental patient
IC wot u meen

I'm fairly confident I'll come up with a plot half way through the novel

>>4352269
>when you rest your head on your hands on a train that isn't accelerating it shakes and makes your teeth hit against each other if you slack your jaw.


i thought that was called chattering

>I was sat on the red plush seat, feeling the dull hum at the diesel rattle my teeth.
Please learn english before you attempt to write it.

>>4352465
yeah, I wrote it on the cuff. no editing.
comma splicing is very common and most people do it a couple of times here and there before editing it out.
other than that I don't see a problem

>>4352464
whatever mang

>I was sat

I would totally write cursive if I could but my handwriting is and has always been fucking horrendous.

>>4352479
this is a regional thing. That is how we speak in the countryside.
'seated' implies somebody placed me or ushered me to the seat.
'I was sitting' doesn't sound right
you can surely not criticise any author to use colloquial terms

>>4352349
Needs some editing, especially punctuation and grammar, but overall pretty decent. Surreal feel to it all, as I'm sure you intended.

>>4352507
I sat

>>4352535
I changed it anyways.
I still think 'I was sat' sounds grander. like it's leading somewhere.

-"We were stood", "we were sat" etc. may be non-standard English, but these phrases also widely used in Northern speech. Also, past participles are frequently used as adjectives (as in "I was completely hammered"), so it could be argued that that is what is happening here.-

I like your style

>>4352544
>I was completely hammered
You say "I was hammered" because you need that phrase to communicate that you were drunk. "I hammered" doesn't mean the same thing.

Maybe with your usage of "I was sat" is correct, I have no idea, but your argument in support of it is faulty.

>>4352256
>I want to be a writer but my uneventful upbringing means I don't have much to say.

Wow, what a stupid idea you have there. Just because you didn't have a particularly awesome/tumultuous childhood doesn't mean you don't have a unique perspective on events and the world that you could write about.

>>4352696
Even if he has a unique perspective, it doesn't mean that perspective is interesting.

Not saying that's the case, but your implication that every writer has something worth saying is bullshit.

>>4352535

That implies they just sat down, rather than them describing their current state of sitting.

>>4352712

Every writer COULD, if they had the imagination to create and express it.

>>4352712
I was trying to imply everyone has their super special artsy side and they just need to show it to the world.

But everyone has a unique perspective, and even if you don't do jack shit with your life, as long as you can find an interesting way to write about it you're good.

>>4352779
I was sitting

>>4352783
We'll have to agree to disagree.

>>4352787
>We'll have to agree to disagree.

Well, not necessarily, since to be honest I'm basically saying "if I had wheels I'd be a wagon".

to be honest guys,
I'd much rather read a beautifully written buck about nothing than a fractured and illiterate sob story.

this is why game of thrones and lord of the rings and harry potter will never be considered 'literature'

and anime will never be considered 'art'

>>4352857
For me to feel the same way the writing has to be phenomenal, like some of the best ever produced. Thus I love In Search of Lost Time because of Proust's prose, but The Rings of Saturn fell flat to me because Sebald's writing didn't utterly floor me.

>>4352785
*wasn't trying to imply

damn that really fucked it up

>>4352785
>>4352712
why do writers after hemingway and proust think that you have to write about yourself, or anything related to yourself? it's just silly. I doubt homer was self-inserting into the iliad, or that shakespeare frequently self-inserted himself into his stories, or wrote about "what he knew." he instead wrote about precisely what he had never seen (jews, romans). it's only in the past 100 years that writing about yourself has become fetishized so much, and writing has become confessional, in the name of "honesty" and realism.

I actually really enjoyed this. well done OP

>>4352857
>anime will never be considered 'art'

This is really good, OP. Keep working on it.
Regarding a 'story', don't stress it too much. Doesn't need to be a fucking soap opera. Just put in a character or two, have them interact in some way. It can be bleak and 'uneventful' if you feel like it. Just go with your gut. Keep us posted