/lit/ - Literature

Nothing. She'll think you're a faggot if you try.

So did you know that Finnigans Wake was, like a loop? Like seriously, if you flip to the back page, you can, like, read the whole sentence.

Betcha didn't know that, didja?

>>4250661
that's p cool but I meant about metamorphosis

post pic of your professor, or her name.

>>4250686
Here's a story she wrote with a shitty pic of her attached

http://www.usm.edu/product/Product25/tharp.html

>>4250721
she's hardly "10/10"

>>4250646
>11th grade English
>Teacher is HOT. AS. FUCK.
>Like God damn
>The Dads were coming home from Parent-Teacher night and going GOD. DAMN
>All English classes were over crowded
>After a few weeks, get moved to a new class
>Teacher is not hot.
>Later find out the HOT teacher got married
Where did I go wrong /lit/?

>>4250724
I told you it was ashitty pic

>>4250724
Come on though, that face is pretty dam qt

>>4250731
That photo is honestly terrible. She's much more attractive in person

>>4250721
>Dat picture of the kissing animals
She has good taste. Or the web designer at least.

Either way I want to fuck that duck.

What were we talking about?

>Not knowing any literary theory

Kill yourself pleb, you're not good enough for her anyway.

Sorry I saw this on the front page and just had to say
HE IS FRANZ KAFKA
FRANZ KAFKA

>>4250724
It's a terrible angle with bad lighting, but I can tell she's pretty cute. I can see how in the right circumstances and to the right person she could be 10/10

didn't even bother reading the story, doubt anyone else did either.

what the fug

Hey OP. Good look trying to bed your professor.

>>4250747
I actually laughed pretty hard

>>4250744
There's a whole set of images like that, I'm surprised you haven't seen them.

>>4250747

>>4250747

>>4250747

>reading for girls

>>4250817
>not pretending to read finnegans wake and get that sweet grill hipster pussy

>>4250646
Metamorphosis is pleb tier Kafka.

>>4250821
>not reading finnegans wake to get that sweet grill hipster pussy

>>4250646
Walk up to her while she's eating lunch and say "hey baby if you give me that apple I'll stop bugging you."

>>4250747

>>4250646

Why don't you Kafkaesquely asky her out on a date?

Just tell her you found the story very "Kafkaesque"

>>4250874
lol'd

Begin your essay with “As Franz Kafka awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a filthy kike.”

>>4250747

>>4250646
the entire "story" was actually an "allegory" for "alienation" and "discomfort with 'the self'"; i."e." (this is correct - only do the over-enunciation and finger flexion thing on the "e." part), the "non-human" "mannerisms" "'demonstrated' by" the "protagonist" of "Franz Kafka's" "fiction 'piece'" are "actually" a "clever 'manner of representing' 'things' that 'people do'" that "are" unnatural or "otherwise" unlikable that alienate "them" from "those" around them. "(sic)" (actually say that last bit out loud)

>>4250747
I am laughing way to hard at this.

>>4250874

>>4250747
This is just beautiful.

>>4250747

Yes.

>>4250646
pic unrelated

>>4250646
Skip the books. Just stick your dick inside of a textbook, approach her and say some cheesy line which I can't be bothered to think of right now as you open it before it.

r u from the paradiso cuz ur makin me beatrice ;)

>>4250725
>Higher English class at school
>teacher is a Milf with great tits
>always giving me into trouble cos I'm a failure and just fuck about being depressed
>get 31% in the prelim, she even suggests I should drop out

fast forward 5 months

>Exam results are in, I get the best in the year, 91% (70 is an A)
>Oh anon, I knew you could do it
>goes to hug me
>other guys tries to get in on it
>three way hug, the my hand is trapped in between the chest of the other guy and the teacher's boob
>she can feel it
>hug goes on a while
>that awkward hot eye contact
>group hug breaks up
>we go outside and smoke
>other guy is away now
>smoke in her car cos of shitty laws meaning you can't on school grounds
>she drives round the corner to a quiet bit
>she reaches for my crotch
>holy fuck
>she jacks me off
>as i'm about to cum she puts it in her mouth
>spits out my cum out the car window

off to university I go

God I wish I was back at school. She follows me on twitter now. Her daughter fancies me btw haha

>>4251113
How sad do you have to be to (at worst) make up a story like this, or (at best) brag about it on 4chan?

>>4251122
tbf if a lady had let me put my penis near her mouth, i would probably brag about it on 4chan too

>>4250747
ok /lit/, you win, I laughed hard

>>4251122
it's a thread about hot teachers though?

>confirmed for buttmad virgin

>>4250747
OP dun goofed

>>4251139
It's a thread about how to use Kafka to impress a hot teacher, which you used as an excuse to tell a rather sad story.

>>4251124
Please get off 4chan for a few hours and go to a bar.

bump

>>4250646
Use the term "Entfremdung".

>>4251113
This is ridiculous enough to be true.
You are truly blessed.

>>4250864
I like how he looks like a Harijuju girl.

>>4250747

>>4251113
>70% is an A
>daughter fancies me

o ello ther m8 u sound lyk a safe bloke i swer on me mums lyf geez

>>4250747

Comedy Gold.

>>4252300
I'm engaged to my hot ex-English teacher, these things can happen.

>>4250747
I love you. Sallo.