/lit/ - Literature

>To die is to sin

No it isn't

DARE THE ROSE

I dare the sun to shine more so
I dare the rose to glisten though
I can not find in nature's name
A thing to match your handsome frame

I dare the robin sing so light
I dare the rainbow glow at night
All of nature can not compare
To match your features so I must stare

I dare the deadened tree to green
I dare the whistling wind to ring
You catch my heart for no one knows
But most of all I dare the rose

BREATHING SPACE

Listen but speak if you must
There is no love without distrust
You may speak I hear no sound
I have lost what you have found

I get up each time I fall
I am deaf but you hear all
A daily routine yet surprise
From your tears does love rise

Wait, Wait, you run along
Is it right or is it wrong
To be together and feel alone
I want to laugh but you just moan

Together we go seperate ways
A darkened path through darkened days
In the air I draw this line
Thats your space and this is mine

KISS ME WHEN I WAKE

Kiss me in the moonlight
While we're sitting by the pool
Kiss me on the front porch
While the morning breeze is cool

If we're no more than two lovers
Kiss me twice a day
And after every quarrell
Kiss me dear I pray

Kiss me on the beach
As we're walking side by side
Kiss me just for comfort
Before my tears have dried

As we sit inside the boat
Kiss me on the lake
If nothing else I beg of you
Kiss me when I wake

ALONE

I dream of you as oft as not
Which better all the day

I think of you as love a thought
For heart of me a stray

I whisper sweetly for a word
Be cherish in your eye

I feel passion still unheard
That shant be once gone by

I sense emotion in a kiss
To tell a lie be blush

I wait you once admit the bliss
Then to your arms I rush

I wonder love be not or whether
Will it much be shone

I love the time we spend together
Especially our time alone

IF I FELL IN LOVE

If I passed you on the street
Would you share a smile
If I stopped you in the park
Would you talk a while

If I saw you at the club
Would you want to dance
If I called you twice a day
Would you want romance

If I asked to spend the night
Would you say ok
If I wanted to move in
Would you let me stay

Would you say you loved me true
With all the joy above
Would you want to marry me
If I fell in love

>>4216059
4/10

>>4216064
6/10

>>4216078
7/10

fix the last stanza and it'll be really good

>>4216082
4/10

last line is good tho

>>4216088
3/10

THE DIRTY TACO

It all began ten years ago
When I was just a lad

I bought a taco extra cheese
The best I ever had

Halfway through the taco broke
And fell into my lap

It made me laugh and then get mad
I felt just like a sap

But then the woman of my dreams
She smelled the melted cheese

She rushed right over to my seat
And sank down to her knees

She licked and cleaned most everything
And to this day its so

We meet each week to just repeat
That scene so long ago

SILVER AND GOLD

Good will be the new friends
Old are still the best
Silver is a good thing
But gold it is the best

Silver is refreshing and
Its shine will make you smile
Gold it is entrusting and
You keep it all the while

Silver makes the heart feel light
You want a daily sum
Gold it makes the heart feel warm
Its always number one

So when you leave and make new friends
Dont forget the old
And when you've had enough of silver
Come back to the gold

DEAR ABBEY

I saw a man two weeks ago, georgous head to toes
I didnt watch where I was going, and fell and broke my nose

Once again just two days later, his eyes they drew me in
Of course you know I wasnt looking, I bruised and broke my shin

Then ten days his T-shirt tight, beyond my swollen nose
I kept on starring as i'm walking, and somehow broke three toes

Now its been eight days ago, his smile filled with charm
I ran into an open door, and fractured my right arm

Another two days had gone by, four accidents been made
Falling from the stairwell top, I broke my shoulder blade

Then I know four days have passed, my heart for him did beg
But as you guessed an accident, I simply broke my leg

And now two days it worried me, the hospital was full
But in those clothes so tight he wore, I fell and cracked my skull

Last but not least just today, he winked and made me sigh
Now thats not all he did to me, he made me break my thigh

As I lay here bandaged up, the nurse so kind to write
I ask advice on what to do, and how to beat my plight

I can't decide on which to choose, two options I do think
The first is bad the second worse, it hurts when I do blink

Either he can wear loose clothes, to make himself look shabby
Or I can have my eyes removed, what to do Dear Abbey

>>4216111

ahahah 10/10

It was in a room somewhere on earth
And you watched the teacher watch you on and off
Talking about sculptures he made once and sold on a street.
I drew a circle and it was lopsided, one side sticking out.
Because that’s what lopsided is supposed to mean,
You said.
And you drew the thing on my hand and I washed it off the next day in the shower
And forgot about it.

These are pretty good, though you can surely do better. They have a good rhyme and are pleasant to read, but lack in imagery and are too simple and straight-forward.
Still better then most of the ones you usually find in these kind of threads.
I especially liked that one:
>>4216064

BE MY VALENTINE

A glance of wonder in your eyes
To need anothers trust
A gentle kiss upon your lips
For love it is a must

A silent whisper of sweet words
To skip your heart a beat
A slow caress upon your soul
To knock you off your feet

A glance again into your eyes
A fire burning bright
Another kiss at length this time
Ravaging and right

Once again a whisper true
Goosebumps on your skin
Caresses more to fill the night
True love it will win

So keep in mind the mentioned here
To make you feel just fine
I'll do to you these things for if
Youll be my valentine

CATCH MY HEART WHEN FALLING

I read a poem long ago, It made me laugh aloud
But now that I think back to it, There is a darkened cloud

Twas called a fence or an ambulance, Now neither one shall do
For as my life it falls apart, I write this down for you

You see the poem told a tale, A problem days gone by
I shall just change but a few words, To tell you how i'll die

There was a cliff so high and true, That over many fell
It seemed to catch them in a trance, Or if you will a spell

The voices cried to rescue them, Once fallen they did stop
Of course more sense would be the fence, To block them at the top

An ambulance a good idea, But only it would heal
A fence it would prevent the hurt, Very few did feel

So now that I have reached my point, I'll tell you what I know
That I shall find that cliff so high, And to the top i'll go

I vote no pence for stout a fence, I pray no one to rally
For when I fall and sudden stop, No ambulance in the valley

I've given up on life you see, For no one holds my heart
You do come close but not enough, And so I wish to part

My heart is bruised so bad now true, You only say you care
And one day you will call in need, I simply wont be there

So heed the cliff and mend a fence, For soon you will be calling
And also add that ambulance, To catch my heart when falling

LOST

Shattered whispers of the past
Secrets never told
Silent heartache fading fast
Never growing old

Poison bleeding from the soul
Eating all away
Cautious living takes a toll
Wanting one more day

Fading quickly battle lost
Love lacks evermore
Hopes and dreams to have a cost
Darkness keeps a score

Love essential not again
Lightning is the speed
Cureless ruckus deep inside
Death on me does feed

BEING KEPT

On a string of hopes and dreams
Heavy weighs my heart
Fettered love at times it seems
I fear one day will part

Granted wishes wants and such
Material I've become
Shopping sprees for clothes so much
Art work just for fun

Fancy parties twice each week
Famous faces there
Secret offers from the meek
A benefactors dare

Month long trips so far and wide
Greeting every port
Tinted windows help to hide
Stay inside the fort

Calls forbidden on the phone
Faceless my true friends
Gentle kisses never thrown
This is where it ends

No more strings of hopes and dreams
Too heavy was my heart
Fettered love too much it seems
The day has come to part

TOUGH

Conscience bleeding tender heart
I've seen a better man
He can do what i can do
Even better than

Dancing, singing, living, loving
Faster is his pace
Quicker, thicker, cuter, hotter
Awesome is his face

Seeming smarter none the older
Killing me inside
Making jealous wanting more
Temptious I do hide

Fleeing, crying, slowly dying
Broken is my heart
Challenging and yet compelling
I wish to have his heart

Drinks are given none for taking
Silence be my lie
If he knew the want I have
The soul of him would cry

Memory and saddened bliss
I leave with just a name
I'm told is old you have to be
To know its just a game

I can not play just yet you see
For age I've not enough
So I'll just have to watch him be
Better than me,.... Tough

FADED GLORY

Linger life and let me be
Wander here no more
Kill my soul and set me free
Let anger take a score

Cherrish sadness devils smile
Bewilder if you can
Darken daylight all the while
Take it like a man

Fondness fading deepest now
Sorrow how I feel
Live the life and tell me how
I know my heart is real

I captured fruitflies in my stomach
patched it with pink slaps and
handjobs.

I never ripped it open, no
just somehow
instability seems to rub off
on me;

secondhand jitters
resold anxiety-

I love you and
I pick up your heart
with air.

a thought fingering yours
and you pull out with
distance
when I try to undress my
self,
buzzing solar plexus and
a timed chest.

>>4216416
Whoops, never mind me. I /thought this was a general rating thread. I'll delete this now.

CURL UP AND DIE

Still the wind for whispers heard
Martar make thy soul
Share the words to make absurd
Patience takes a toll
Bleed from heart the mysery
Hide the tears in love
Tell the secrets mystery
Let fall the rain above
Picture perfect idol life
Behind unfettered wall
Hidden yearning made of strife
Friendship heed the call
Blister bruises over more
Tattered be the cry
Lasting love be vacancy
Come not once to I
Wimper still redemptions name
Leisure like a pond
Darken shadow midnights moon
Reach now from beyond
River raging tears of pain
Pistol in the drawer
Crackling silence not to bear
Fall me to the floor
Anguish bleeding blue turn red
No more hear me cry
Faltered come the life of me
Curl up and die

>>4216420
Damn kudos! That was miles better than these poems.

>>4216420
Do you have more/a website?

LAST CHANCE LOVE

Walking through the park one day
A stranger caught her eye
He gave a very warming smile
Which made her heart just sigh
He said hello and tipped his hat
A twinkle filled his eye
She seemed to barely notice him
As she passed him by
Later in her life she met
This stranger one more time
He spoke to her asked her name
And will you please be mine
It saddened him to hear her say
She wouldnt settle down
She worried more about career
She worked in the next town
He walked away his head hung low
But knew hed be okay
She thought about what she had done
And told herself one day
Later yet with greying hair
And checked into a home
Within a day she came afraid
To live and die alone
But then she met this man again
And filled his heart with love
And still he watches over her
From heaven up above

>>4216434
I do but I've written some shitty poems and I'm quite embarrassed by them but I like to keep for whatever the fuck reason.
Also I'm not supposed to be on 4chan for a reason I will not disclose. But fuck it.
Anywho, thank you both. I really appreciate it. I don't really do much these days besides writing and I get so down on myself because I'm my own worst critic.
I could post more stuff in this thread if you'd like though. It might take a while though... my copy/paste function is getting whacky.

I WORRY WHEN YOU LEAVE

I worry when you're next to me
At a picture show
Even when you walk with me
Everywhere we go

I worry when I watch you sleep
With every breath you take
Also with the sports you play
All the moves you make

I worry when you laugh with me
During dinners out
And even when I watch you read
Peaceful with no doubt

I worry when you go to work
With every day you drive
More-so on the trips we take
You make me feel alive

But here is where I worry most
It almost makes me grieve
For maybe you might not come back
I worry when you leave

OP, I feel that these are just boring. They use a really common rhyme scheme and are a bit cliche. Nothing makes me want to keep on reading, unlike other poetry.
I mean, they're not bad, just.... nothing special.

ENCODED LOVE

Tell me how to reach your heart
Helping you to see
All the love I'll give to you
During eternity

Teach me all the things you know
Hold me close at night
Argue with me nevermore in
Darkness and daylight

Take me with you when you leave
Here and also there
Always treat me with respect
Doing things we care

Touch me when the feelings right
Hug me just for fun
Ask if I will marry you at
Dawning of the sun

Tempt me with that look you have
Happiness by far
Are you as smart as claim to be
Do you know who you are

>>4216492
so don't read them. What do you expect? ALL poetry MUST be Keating?

In my honest opinion, >>4216219
this one makes no sense to me at all. 80% of the poems I have written was before I had EVER read a single poem by anyone else. Half of them were written before I was even 16. I'm not here to please everyone or even most people. Of the 217 I have written, 109 have been called top shelf by publishers. Those specific ones won't get posted here as once I have 300 that publishers like I will have my very own book.

I know this going to offend you but I only need to make 1 person smile. You don't HAVE to be that 1.

>>4216518
>rate me
>flips out when he gets rated

lel

LOVE IS A BRIDGE

Wood and string bound and wound
Over the waters below
Strong is the current sweeping away
The bridge has a long way to go

Throw in some metal for bolts and for nails
Stronger a bridge does it make
Again with the current and wind along too
Also this bridge do they take

Now comes the steel forever to last
But time plays a part in this game
Maybe the water and wind will not win
Though age will and rust is its name

Concrete is new and rust wont eat through
Maybe we learned from the past
But water and wind and time helping now
Even the concrete wont last

Building is long and crossing is easy
Over the bridges we know
If love is a bridge then heed the above
For bridges they come and they go

>>4216524
Apparently you've never rated anything. It's usually 1-10 or even 1-100. You berated. Your comment implied you wanted me to stop typing. If you don't like them you don't like them. I'm not going to strive to post something you oogle over.

>>4216554
>Your

i'm not that poster.

if you can't take people disliking your shit without whining about it, maybe you should try some other website?

>>4216518
What? You asked to be rated, so I did (sort of, I don't like that number system so I just explained my opinions). I'm not saying all of your poetry must be phenomenal. I've written some shitty poetry, but if someone doesn't like a few or most of your poems, if you're asking for opinions from people on this board then it's just to give you my full and honest opinion.

Expect people to not like your work. It happens. It doesn't mean it's inherently bad though. Literature and taste is subjective.

LOVE WANTED

A person commanding true loves understanding
Is seeking the soul of a mate
A man whos admitted to patience and fitted
To laugh with me on our first date

Must know the proceedings of sorrowful pleadings
When forgetting my next birthday card
Musnt argue an unction for wirts of injunction
Admitting a wrong can be hard

Must form strong relations and hold conversations
Whenever there is something wrong
Should make each decision with quickened precision
Dont drag out deciding so long

Must love baby faces and kiss them in places
Your mother would not want to know
Must manifest learning in true love concerning
The matters referred to below

Forgetting the trials of olden denials
And not filling life with complaints
Controlling expenses and having defenses
Occasional sexual restraints

Heartfelt convictions for sorrowed conditions
And never to put on a dress
Accomodate worries and cuddle in fluries
Bring us not once to duress

Above are essentials for true loves credentials Required and handsome physique
Make prompt application will pay compensation
Of loving you each day of the week

>>4216554
I didn't imply that. I might have implied that I did not like these poems very much at all, but if poetry is something you like, then you should keep posting if you want to. But if you're asking for ratings and want it in a number system with any explanation then I'm sorry but that's ludicrous. Just telling someone '6/10' is stupid and accomplishes very little. Things like poetry are complicated and reasons for critiquing the way you did need to be specified in words, not numbers.

I'm glad all of those publishers enjoyed your poetry more than I did. Please get off your high horse. I only care about your poetry, not your publishers.

>>4216577
Without any*

>>4216547
>stronger a bridge does it make

Fuckingdisgusting.jpg

captcha: proclaimeth godspod

>>4216560
1-10. it's simple.

When my father bought a computer (and it was a mac 001 so you know how long ago it was) he offered to put my poetry on the computer so it would be saved forever. I agreed until I saw him punctuating everything. I have my own reasons fro writing they way i do and what i write. For example, The Dirty Taco was written on request. I was challenged at work in vegas that i couldn't just write a poem from a title. So I asked the co-worker to come up with a title for me. That was it. 30 minutes later I gave him a copy of his poem. Most of what I have written was by request or by a feeling over something. I have one comeing up that I felt would have been right in Dead Poets Society where Neal killed himself. I have another coming up that came to me while driving in Iowa and heard a commercial on the radio. I have a really good one I wrote for a woman I talked to on the phone while working at Bell South in Florida about her surviving breast cancer. Most people who read my poems who don't know why or whom they were written for don't understand them. Poems like the one here that isn't mine make no sense to me at all. I'm waiting for that person to finish the "story". You assume I am bent out of shape over what you've said. I honestly don't care. I like sharing these and so I do.

Don't know what else to tell you.

>>4216600
>I honestly don't care

yes, keep telling us at length how much you don't care.

the first thing i do when i don't care about something is get defensive and write my life-story too.

I DO

I don't love you for the times we eat
On dinners out you pay
I don't love you for the times we shop
And you surprise me in a way

I don't love you because you hold the door
Such a gentleman you are
I don't love you because you kiss me sweet
On the neck your favorite by far

I don't love you for the moans you bring
When you wake me from a sleep
I don't love you for the bruises left
When you beat me into a heap

I don't love you because you've broken my bones
You rage at me when you're blue
I don't love you because I know you will kill me
I love you because I do

>>4216600
>1-10 it's simple

Yes, that is simple, but you should always be looking to improve. How can you improve with just someone telling you what they think of your poetryin numbers?
Okay, yes, I get it, other people like your material, you've been published, all of that.
People who aren't offended/negatively affected by criticism don't get that defensive so quickly. I'm sorry but if you were not offended by the criticism here, you really made it seem like it.

F-

Silence now to listen steady
Slowing heartbeat drum
Get the box of kleenex ready
Teardrops soon to come

Break the silence loudly crying
Sink on knees to floor
Painful heartache love is dying
Sad like not before

On a knife of bitter wishes
Love is deep impaled
Broken kindness sour kisses
You took loves test and failed

>>4216621
Never said I was published, Said if I have 300 worth publishing I will get my own book.

>>4216621
Also, that poem was mine.
It seems like it made no sense but that was part of the point. You're meant to look deeper. Why did I write it in such a broken and unorderly way? Its all in one poem, I wouldn't have put it in one poem if it wasn't supposed to make any sense. There is sense to it, and the reader's job is to make sense of it, analyze it and connect it.

And that is a reason I did not like your poetry. There is no work on my part, there is no decoding, there's no work to be done. Everythings pretty straight-forward. But, that doesn't mean your poetry is inherently bad, its just not my style.

>>4216631
Oops, guess I read that part wrong, my mistake. The rest still stands though.

THE MIDNIGHT WAKE

Midnight rage in summers name
Love is gone the world to blame
Battle now in moneys fear
Stronger growing every year

Countless caskets scatter rows
Cemetary bigger grows
Counting mourning with the light
Four more soldiers died last night

Crowded acres first excuse
Worthless death it was abuse
Rightous blood in heavens name
War showed off its second game

Now inhumane the current plea
For moneys sake kill you and me
The final move is close at hand
To vanquish humans from this land

Just a whisper from the past
Even science will not last
Final breath I beg you take
And leave me to the midnight wake

A GRAIN OF SAND

A shattered soul for life light gone
The waste of precious blood
Spilled among a senseless lot
To sink like brick in mud

A faded thought for lost in time
No more the cries of joy
Taken by a bullets name
A mother lost her boy

A tempted pain to chase gone bys
No prayer or love restores
A midnight wake a once request
With hopeless loss keep scores

A final cry of earshot heard
Then whither with the land
Give my brother love I send
We're just a grain of sand

THE HOURS

A shadow cast upon a life
So still the waters run
Time shall pass in saddened eyes
Where love had once begun

Glisten in a teardrops path
Emphatic rage will yell
Drifting through a lonesome lie
Where happiness once fell

Days concealing memory more
Seconds linger on
Minutes fading with the soul
The hours just go on

THE TREMBLING PINE

Shatter leafspires from a frost
Take the joy from love as lost
Break the heart of root to last
Cry my memory to the past

Shed the bark to chill the soul
Drain the sap to feed the mull
Chop the branches one for all
Heed the fire come to call

Share a seedling on the crash
Bury none but in the ash
Hide for water come so blue
Bring the sun to start a new

Stretch the wary from away
Shine in love another day
Lasting treasure to be mine
Stand alone the trembling pine

REMEMBRANCE

I pledge to the rythum of a poetic song
Dawn breaks early I can not go on

I'm trapped in a world of reality and facts
Forced to be delinquished I can not look back

I feel a resistance burning deep inside
Wanting to be free though I can not abide

I remember the rules they lay at my feet
My life is so mannered I can not complete

I'm told to be proper obey is a must
My dreams are screaming I can not trust

The angels are calling, calling to me
For I am the dead poets society

AND JESUS WAS HIS NAME

Born in sickness, stiff as steel, my mother did not heed
She said she could have left me lone, but nurture was her creed
At ten years old no jobs abound, my father was a brood
He swallowed pride, made ends meet, sometimes he worked for food
At sixteen years I worked real hard, mom was ill and dying
I did the best I could for her, she laid in bed just crying
At twenty two she passed away, and thats when it began
I heard a voice from time to time, it sounded like a man
At twenty eight the car broke down, as furious as can be
I cried and cried and then I heard, a voice call out to me
At thirty four the baby sick, and bills of every score
Upset my wife by screaming then, the voice did call once more
At thirty nine I lost my job, I felt it was my end
My wife decided she would work, and the voice I heard again
At forty five a burglar came, the funeral made me cry
Left alone to raise my son, I heard the voice nearby
At fifty one my boy moved out, I thought I was alone
I'd wander off and lose my way, the voice would lead me home
At fifty seven a grandchild came, I felt just like a king
Then the house burned to the ground, again the voice did ring
At sixty three I left this world, to me an angel came
I met the man behind the voice, and jesus was his name

TIME IN WRITING

Unsolid and untouchable I soar, while everything bends to my will.
You can’t ever escape me; I am everywhere.
Countless individuals attempt to hold me still.
Success would be more likely using ropes to catch the air.
My presence changes present to past – Thus future alters, always.
I am the spring, providing life to moments, minutes, decades and days.
I’m the reason why now and now are not the same.
Was the universe a painting, I would be its invisible frame.
Take a break and breathe in a world that is nothing like it was
the moment your attention left it, to devour clause upon clause.
Restless I have been in past, in present and in future.
Close my eyes I do not dare, I must stay awake to be sure.
For if I sleep, the sand won’t flow and to silence you must inure.
The entire universe will freeze and be naught but a still picture.

>>4216763
8 (that reminds me of The Fifth Season) bad ass poem