/lit/ - Literature

Self-Bump

its the most brilliant work i've read in over 35 years. grats

I can almost see you typing this at a hilarious moment's notice, face scrunched up, shoulders stiff, and a spittle of Mountain Dew covering your monitor.

Ask /adv/.

>>416810
Forgot to do this :(

Call Coast to Coast on Fridays when George Noory does his UFO shows. Read him your poem.

He'll make ya famous.

Rhythm issues. Maybe

>Some aliens are green and fly around in UFOS.
>Most aliens smell like moldy fish tacos.

would work a little better

Reminds me of Russell Edson. Look up the poem 'Ape.'

And poetry is pretty lenient on what is and isn't a poem. We have a saying... "No poem is finished, they are simply abandoned."

However, you may want to try saying something in your poetry. The whimsy in your lines is nice, but it doesn't drive at anything or juxtapose anything.

Take some classes. There is likely a free workshop in your area.

Read poets, and keep writing your own poetry. :)

Well alright... im in the process of writing a serious poem and Im editing the first stanza.

I'll post it.

You and me?
We are shadows in faded light
I will gaze in your eyes and help you realize,
I am reason and you are passion.


Thats the ..stanza?

Still editing.
Any comments/questions/concerns?

>>416812

I did. They advised me to come here.

>>416842
Then come back there so I can tell you to come back here again.
Come on, it'll be fun!

>>416835
Tell me, do you have anything in mind, or did you just string random words? Because it sounds like the latter to me. Like you're just trying to sound deep, without actually saying anything.

>>416856

Thats what it is at the moment, but like I said, im still editing it. That right there is just a rough draft of what im trying to finalize.

I've never really written a poem seriously before, so its probably going to be poorly written, but im still going to try to be deep.

>>416835
All poems addressed to "You" should be reconsidered.

>>416867


Why???

>>416864
Well, that won't do at all. You can't be deep just for the sake of being deep, because you'll just fail.

Think of what you want to say, and say it. That's the way you write shit.

>>416876
Because word-salad will not impress whomever you're writing it for. Unless you're Shakespeare, I don't recommend it.

>>416877

I have to write a poem for school. I don't normally write poems, I normally write storys, etc. I guess thats why this isnt working out to well.

Thanks for the advice though bud.

>>416889

Yeah, well that's why I told you to ask /adv/.
So I can tell you to ask /lit/ again

Don't try to go for deep. If you're in high school and have never written a poem before, it will be shallow because you have no life experiences or poetry experience. Both of these faults will conspire to give you a shit poem.

I recommend writing about an event. Something that you can imagine in your head and can describe easily. Make it poetic and it will be much better than "Ode to The Girl Who Doesn't Know I exist" or whatever you planned on writing.

>>416927

I agree with you about the life experiences part. Im only 15 years old and I don't know shit.

In this... poem, I was going to try to explain that smart people (Men) use Logic, whereas Dumb people (Women) follow their heart.

Also, im not trying to be sexist, I just want to see if my teacher catches it. :P

I have a retarded question. English isn't my main language first of all, I don't remember anything technical I learnt about poetry, even though I liked it. How can I start to learn writing poetry in the english language by myself(no one around can help me out)?

>>416958
Read lots of poems in English. And read translations of poems from your language into English so you can see how subleties and themes from your language get ported over.