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/lit/ - Literature

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4130048 No.4130048[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>Self publishing

I'm posting three excerpts today. Which do you think is the best of the worst?

>> No.4130054
File: 837 KB, 1632x576, Animal Shorts by Lucas DeRanged.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4130054

2/3

>> No.4130063
File: 686 KB, 1682x548, Total Annihilation by Cee Kay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4130063

3/3

>> No.4130067

>>4130048
m-m-more...

>> No.4130090

>>4130048
>OK, when in doubt look dumb and confused. It's the classic college ploy for pity from the professors. That was a good plan, I went for it and looked stupid. It wasn't hard...

Oh, the irony.

>> No.4130117

>putting photos in the middle of your story
>pornographic photos
>horribly pixilated cemeteries

>> No.4130252
File: 2.79 MB, 250x250, 1379802493549.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4130252

>>4130054
>It was a Tuesday, yeah Tuesday. Dark, it was dark too. I guess it was night. Yeah, it must have been. Me? I'm Jon, Jon Kule. Yeah that's it, I'm Kule.

This is the worst. By a long shot.

>> No.4130584

>>4130054
it's like someone turned the random penguin of doom *holds up spork* into a book.

>> No.4130746

>>4130048
Genius.
>>4130048
>"'sure' i replied and shifted my backpack to cover my erection"
>"i nearly blew my wad right then"
>"smeared the precum over the head and made it slippery"
>>4130054
>"It was a Tuesday, yeah Tuesday. Dark, it was dark too. I guess it was night. Yeah, it must have been. Me? I'm Jon, Jon Kule. Yeah that's it, I'm Kule."
>"he made a really cool stain in the dirt"
>"'that would be slutty of me' i said sniffing the bag of beans"
>>4130063
>that font change

The first two are phenomenal, the last one is pretty meh. I laughed the most from the first one; the fact that it had a pretty cohesive narrative, plus the naivety of a 12 year olds sexual fantasy, made it the best.

That first paragraph of the 2nd one is amazing though.

>> No.4130752

>>4130746
Also, post more if you've got them. These made my day, thank you.

>> No.4130754
File: 398 KB, 1149x676, 1378591339039.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4130754

Always and forever the best.

>> No.4130972

>>4130054
This is brilliant.

>> No.4130994

>>4130754
I should probably check and see if that guy published anything else recently.

>> No.4132583
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4132583

>>4130054
>Yeah that's it, I'm Kule.

>> No.4132605
File: 80 KB, 400x400, 1355691997274.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4132605

>>4132583

10/10

>> No.4132774
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4132774

>>4130054
>Yeah, I, like, ripped its face off. Then I hd an idea, cool cool cool cool cool.

>> No.4132795

>>4130054
I sometimes find myself wondering what the difference between avant garde and horrible writing. Then I read these and figure not much.

>> No.4132798
File: 233 KB, 1000x1000, thebookoflels.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4132798

>>4130054
>It was now midnight, at night. I was looking to earn some money. 'Cause, like, I enjoy luxuries like eating. I am, like, a genius, like, mimes are annoying pests, and I get paid too. Real cool.