/lit/ - Literature

I'm a self-protective shut-in with a very delicate health surrounded by books. I'm basically a trope.

>>3803436
>I'm basically a trope.

You mean cliché.

>$200k a year suburban Catholic white people family
>domestic violence
>more domestic violence
>brothers end up as junkies
>sister sells her soul to Goldman Sachs
>I live the classic 4chanite youth of inability to assimilate into the culture of my irl peers
>smoke weed in high school but be kinda scared because of my heroin addict brother
>other brother's a schizo and in jail for alleged manslaughter
>My sister's Goldman Sachs bloodmoney is paying for my college education

>>3803436
>>3803469

Obviously didn't read HoL

>>3803469
exciting

>Born to upper-middle-class family of Engineers in the UK
>mother is empowered woman
>Parents foster in me a love of books, but do very little in the way of parenting beyond that
>have self-destructive streak a mile long and awful self-esteem issues
>grow out of them
>fuck up education because gifted and talented programs during primary and secondary school convinced me I was infallible
>have mental breakdown
>lose all my friends
>restart sixth form
>about to do year 13 exams
>absolutely terrified
>having trouble sleeping at night
>only person I talk to is some girl I met on /lit/ a couple of days ago
I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.

>>3803456
Yes.

>>3803436
You're among friends.

I read house of leaves in my freshman year of highschool, because it's gimmicky teen fiction only interesting to the poorly cultured, so great for me at the time. read more books OP.

>Born to more or less average family.
>Spend whole life moving around. 5 states, 8 cities, 13 public schools, 3 colleges.
>Childhood sucks. Never fit in, never had many friends, parents divorced at age 9 because my father cheated on my mother.
>Mother dies of cancer when I'm 15.
>8 months later, I have cancer too.
>Cancer was misdiagnosed and ultimately confused with another type of cancer, thus I had a recurrence less than 2 years later.
>Graduate high school a year early because I hated it so much.
>Go to college.
>Drop out of college and join a band.
>Band doesn't work out, so I joined another.
>Band gets signed to label, go on nation-wide tour.
>Lead singer/songwriter gets hooked on meth and knocks up his batshit insane girlfriend.
>Band breaks up.
>Work 3 jobs for about a year.
>Get job playing piano on cruise ship.
>Get diagnosed with scoliosis.
>Enter self-imposed isolationist period for about a year.
>Have psychotic breakdown.
>I am now an alcoholic.
>Living off of savings, I've yet to pick up another work contract.
>Living with parents while I receive psychiatric treatment.

This pretty much brings us up to date.

>>3803541
It's a rather good life though. Cosy. Often my life feels like sitting in a wing chair drinking tea staring out the window at other people walking through the rain.

>>3803520
Anon, good luck. i don't know what else I can say. You sound like you'd be an interesting person to meet. Where are you applying to?

>>3803578
York and Nottingham, but I probably won't go to university this year because I feel I can get into better Universities, and because I need a year off to 'find myself' (which means, in this context, getting a therapist and a job).

Also because it's a very real possibility I'll fail my exams and have to redo them.

>>3803606
>>3803578
Addendum: thank you for the support!

>>3803495

i love how that's your first conclusion instead of the more obvious one that they just didn't read the post. i certainly didn't read it until i read your post and had to figure out what the fuck you were talking about.

>born to a poor family with a history of mental illness
>said family is known throughout the city by "those crazy fucks"
>house is burnt down by crazed family member
>we move to an apartment in shitty neighborhood
>live there for fifteen years keeping our heads down, as bullets have literally gone through the door on certain occasions
>Have the fortune to go to private school my whole life
>teachers always calling me a genius and whatnot, standard shit
>got bullied in the early years, by third grade I went to a new school and was ready for war - got into fights and shit
>chilled out a bit, by middle school the hormones kick in and I become a bitter and jealous asshole.
>spend most of my time in my own forcibly vivid fantasies before and after
>repeat in highschool, but drop out second year - didnt even get laid
>spend two years on 4chan and fucking around with occult shit, that went badly but I wouldn't be who I was if I never looked into it
>kinda make it a point to stay away from that shit now unless I know it's sound
>going back to school, figure I'd be a writer, all my English teachers said I had the potential
>18 years old now, pretty sure I'll be alright

>do nothing
>be a failure
>unexpectedly inherit a ridiculous sum of money
>still do nothing
>still be a failure

>>3803627
>>spend two years fucking around with occult shit, that went badly

did you become the demons?

>>3803631
Throw some of that money my way.

>>3803606
I did that, without the counsellor part. Getting a job is shit, or my one is at least. If you live in London you can probs get a good internship.

>>3803635
No, I knew well enough to avoid that kind of shit. I just fucked myself over in a weird way and became half-insane for a couple days, then delusional as fuck for the rest of the time, I managed to come back to reality just in time for school.

>>3803663
I live an hour north of it, maybe that will be close enough.

So anyway, my story isn't that good, and I'm not even going to greentext to make it easier.

Basically I was presumed to intelligent, when actually I just read a lot and was always socially awkward. As such I find academia tough. I am just like 70% of lit. Probably.

>>3803666
i wish i was crazy enough to have paranormal experiences. i almost managed to convince myself that a scratching noise coming out of the wall was a ghost once, but the next day my cat killed a big rat and the noise stopped.

>>3803551
>teen fiction

No, it's aimed at and mostly read by adults. Please don't use teen as a prerogative.

>>3803668
If you can deal with the commute. The time to read is nice, but if you forget your book you've got nothing to do but look into the dead eyes of other passengers as the train gets you all too slowly to a destination you're not sure is worth reaching.

>>3802747
>Born to two parents with undiagnosed disorders
>dad is a nice guy but enters psycho rage mode at the drop of a hat
>I'm talking 2 solid hours of "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"
>mother is probably borderline
>parents divorce
>mother kidnaps me to germany before the custody hearing
>father sells all his shit and spends a year hunting us down
>brother spontaneously starts existing at some point
>I'm four at this point, keep asking my mother and father to live together and they can build me a soundproof room so they can yell and stuff without making me feel bad
>dad takes me back to states
>next 5 years involve half year trade offs of the kids between mom and dad
>get ADHD, no friends, therapy, etc etc
>bats are involved
>move to cali in 2000
>I'm a fat lunatic at this point
>get special aides to follow me around at school because people think I'm weird
>hit puberty, lose a ton of weight
>move to germany in 2005 w/bro
>don't speak the language
>everyone treats me like shit
>bro moves back to the states
>get depressed
>gain all the weight back
>me and my mother have screaming fits every day
>graduate into normal class, then higher education then collage* in 4 years
>people are nicer to me
>still gaining weight
>start cutting
>go to a clinic
>get diagnosed with borderline
>skip school year to stay in clinic
>hate my mother
>move into WG for psycho teens
>go back to school
>graduate
>realize I've been living in poverty my whole life but never noticed
>chuckle a bit
>get accepted into a design school
>move into my own apartment
>quit design school to go to a borderline clinic
>social anxieties too intense
>go back to design school
>lose 50 pounds
>still hate myself forever
>type this

>>3803682
Alot of people who think they're having paranormal experiences are just imagining shit, only they're crazy enough to believe the fantasy. You know you're in some weird shit once it slaps you in the face and leaves lasting damage.

>>3803684
>prerogative

I think you mean 'derogative.'

>>3803691
Anywhere in particular you'd recommend applying? Or particular industries that have good internship programs?

Thanks, by the way, even if you can't help me in this little thing.

>>3803684
please don't use prerogative as the word derogative.

inb4 I meant pejorative. That isn't the right word either.

>middle class white male
>very privileged
>private school
>no friends for first few years
>play video games and suck at everything
>somehow kick ass at GCSEs
>make some friends at gigs
>very selective with friends, no more than 15-7
>fuck up a levels because of video games
>also realize how much i hate everyone except a select few
>somehow get into alright uni
>hate everyone except like 4 people
>now in second year
>dont feel bad dont feel good
>this isnt what being privileged is meant to be like

>ridiculously attractive and good at everything
>center of attention in every classroom, conversation, and social gathering
>paranoid, bipolar, introverted; feign a lack of personality to deter interest
>doesn't work
>inescapable attention drives me cuckoo for cocoa puffs
>haven't spoken to anyone in three years
>bask in the banality of everyday
>permanently blissful for no reason in particular
>take long walks at night when everyone is asleep

>born to a middle class family
>parents are loving and smart. lawyer dad, graphic artist mom
>bros are talented for art as well
>I discover early that I have no talent for art at all but can write
>Decide to go into law school
>Get scholarship for a master's degree
>excel at it with flying colors
>land awesome job
>get hired by big European company
>meet hot German chick
>marry her
>buy house in major European capital
>get diagnosed with cancer @ 30, stage four
>wife dumps me
>lose job
>lose home
>go through chemo by myself, family too cash strapped to come to Europe
>summoned divorce papers @ hospital ward
>Haven bless, the European social security system keeps me afloat paying treatment, meds, support, roof and meals
>beat cancer against all odds
>develop PTSD, depression and whatnot
>still, get back on my feet
>get new awesome job
>meet hot Scandinavian chick
>marry her
>buy new house
>thrive at new job

Life is... good. I am happy to be alive yet there are scars which will be with me forever.

>Born only son to middle-aged parents
>Genetic disposition to depression and autism spectrum disorders
>Abnormal intelligence in early childhood: Can't speak until age 3 but can read before entering preschool
>Receive normal schooling until age 5 when, in the middle of class, I went on the floor, barked like a dog and bit another kid
>This and other antisocial behaviors got me an Aspergers diagnosis
>My city's school did not have a special education program so I was put in a class with a few younger boys who had similar antisocial qualities
>Being with the younger boys didn't work so I was taught in isolation in grades 3 and 4
>Somehow it took two years for everyone to realize how fucked up that was so I changed to a special ed alternative school in 5th grade
>Still not a great situation because I was surrounded by fucked up kids, none of whom lived in my town so I spent everyday afterschool by myself in my house
>Unhappy, depression manifests in 7th grade
>At this time spending all of my leisure time on the internet, mostly on bulliten board systems as a replacement for social interaction
>In 9th grade stage suicide attempt as a cry for help
>Inept parents and professions can't read this accurately and place me in stricter alternative schooling
>In correctional boarding school for the rest of high school, a place where everyone is constantly monitored and no one dates and no one is happy or drinks or smokes or does kid things
>Typical weekend is spent at the bowling alley or watching whatever blockbuster movie came out in theaters
>Soul-numbing existence

>>3803697
I swear to god I saw a ghost once
but it probably wasn't
>"mom, who was that dude in the red shirt who came over yesterday?"
>"There wasn't anybody with a red shirt here yesterday."
She probably just forgot, but I like to pretend.

>>3803728

(cont.)

>Begin to rebel by physically lashing out at faculty of school
>Upset about virginity, my lesbian friend runs away with me and has sex with me because she knows it's getting me down
>Desperately seek sex from male and female acquaintances because of profound loneliness
>Strict observation during junior and senior years because of these acts of rebellion
>Decide that college is the best way to turn this around
>Manage to graduate
>Begin college in September 2012
>It's going alright but I feel lost and clueless because I'm getting to realize my potential only now

>>3803701
Depends what you want to do. A fried of mine wants to read international politics at uni, so she got an internship at an international law firm, and went to SOAS for Arabic classes. There's sometimes free lectures put on by LSE and other universites that can be good, I went to one on the Arab spring with her. Because of all this shit she could write a letter to Kent rolling them how amazing she was, and they gave her an unconditional despite her grades. She's working at a big shop in Oxford Circus now, and makes £1.8 k selling chocolates to filthy rich people based on commission.

I did a shitty it apprenticeship for a small company, where I'm underpaid and overworked by my autistic psycho boss. Don't do that.

>born to two middle class nurses
>go to middle class village/suburban primary school
>mum becomes a teacher
>go to rural secondary school
>'come out' to friends and family as bi
>everyone chill with that
>have brief secret love affair with psychedelics but stop because I don't want to be Syd Barrett
>go to uni

>born to nurse mother and psychiatric nurse father
>childhood was perfect, literally no bad things happened at all
>teenage years were okay, could be better but not bad at all
>as of now I'm possibly psychotic
>tfw I realize the best times are already gone
>tfw I haven't even fucked
>tfw no gf

>grandfather taught at columbia university for 40 odd years
>father is a doctor
>buttloads of money

>sent to catholic school
>bullied constantly
>only one friend
>treats me like shit most of the time
>eventually ignores me altogether
>get some friends in high school
>outcast kids, introduce me to drugs and the 'underground' lifestyle
>[bullying intensifies]
>moved to public school sophomore year
>new start
>lose contact with friends
>one of the bullies moved there too
>welp
>leaves me alone mostly, just nods to me in the halls
>behind in all my classes because hurr private education
>workload increases
>nofriends
>for some reason I catch depression
>get in trouble a lot because I'm late for everything
>in detention and ISS I start reading
>somehow I get a gf
>date for around a year
>then she kills herself
>right before it she says she loves me
>welp
>nothing happens for a while, still no friends
>become a chain smoker around 17
>graduate
>no plans for the future
>sleeping around 14 hours a day, smoking, drinking tea and reading
a year later, here we are

>>3803727
>get diagnosed with cancer @ 30, stage four
>wife dumps me

Godammit, women are such cunts. Seems like every time a men encounters some trouble like losing his job or becoming ill (physically or mentally) the bitch has her bags packed the next day. I've observed and experienced this phenomenon too many times to have any faith left in women.

>>3803735
I'm not sure yet. I'll have A-Levels in English Lit, Economics and History whenif I get my results. I'll apply to a wide variety of things I guess, law firms, newspapers, what have you, go to LSE and UCL lectures while I'm in London, etc.

Thanks, really. You've helped coalesce my designs for the next year.

>>3803747
Some women are cunts, let's not go full /r9k/ now. I know plenty of wonderful women.

>lower middle class family
>quite a shy and introverted child, who never really misbehaved
>at about 7 or 8 years old I completely changed and became a complete monster
>I was uncontrollable at school, violent to teachers and pupils and would just do whatever I felt like doing
>made to get counseling which didn't really help
>by secondary school I had very sociopathic tendencies
>constantly fighting, stealing and threatening people
>early teens and I became much worse, robbed houses and just dumped the stolen items in a lake, also at that time I started to burn things
>started taking knives out wherever I went and pulled them out a few times on people, ended up burning a barn to the ground
>at this point I became sexually active and started to humiliate younger girls, making them insert foreign objects into themselves and lining them up and making them suck me off
>ended up losing my virginity at 13
>dropped out of school early
>moved to a nice rural village
>became a complete recluse
>now I only care about reading, art and walking

>>3803747

Yeah, it sucks. It all started when she called me a coward for sobbing at the doctor's office when the sad news were delivered. It all went downhill from there.

>>3803763
Sounds like a cunt, to be honest. You sure she didn't just marry you for the money or something? If it's any consolation, she was probably cheating on you and wasn't worth your time in the first place.

>Poor as dirt growing up, but never gone hungry
>Sisters always get more attention than me
>Don't give two shits
>Move around a lot because my mom can't pay the bills on her own
>Have absolutely zero friends in elementary, middle school, barely say a word to anyone
>Constantly in the counselors office for some reason
>Sisters start getting abusive in middle school, ends up threatening me with a knife
>Break a window throwing a book at her, get blamed for it for some reason
>Finally start making friends at the end of 8th grade
>Continues into high school, growing out of my shell
>Still in counselling for whatever reason, though
>Have a big ass fight with my mom, nearly hit her in a rage
>lol you're moving in with your dad now
>Dad's abusive as shit, but it stops when I give him a split lip
>Retreat back into shell
>Stop giving a shit about school when I realize I'm nowhere near as smart as everyone tells me I am
>Become a NEET
>Haven't said a fucking word to my dad in nearly two years despite living in the same fucking house

>>3803753
Don't mention it, just pass it on. Last tip: Check out the RADA if you ever want to see a good, cheap show after work.

>>3803775

Yup, she was. I fell for the high quality of the pussy even though I knew she was trouble.

Now my new wife is the opposite. I enjoy my calm life with her reading, walking, chatting, no hassle, no pressure. And since chemo made me infertile, we're "condemned" to be DINKs. Which is awesome.

>>3803780
Hey, you could always adopt. If you want kids anyway, I mean.

>>3803782

I know. Though the older I get the more difficult it is to renounce to the comfort of a free life. The subject troubles me a bit because I would like to be a dad, but we'll see.

>>3803747

I'm a man and I'd do the same. "In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad (...)" is a religious conception I don't give a fuck about, if there is a situation I'm not happy with, I'll bail as fast as I can.

>>3803787
Then I hope you're at least decent enough to never marry.

>>3803791

Seconded.

>>3803795
Thirded.

>Born in some ass-backwards South American country
>Familly owns some silver mining consession or something
>Dad ships me off to England to get educated
>He sends me crazy letters about all the shit he has to put up with
>Never see him again
>Marry some pasty British gal
>Decide to go back and re-open the silver mine even though my dad told me not to, I didn't give a fuck
>Re-open that shit, start an actual economy
>Hire some vain stupid Portuguese guy to do a bunch of shit for me
>Suddenly these dumb mother fuckers native to the goddamned place start a revolution and take over my shit
>Hire the stupid Portuguese guy again to go get the army like really far away
>Everything is okay
>Five years later another revolution is starting

Fuck everything

>>3803791

Reasons to stay in an unhappy marriage:
>Hurr durr, muh honor, I'm bound to my man/woman

Cancer guy is now in a happy marriage, and got rid of the girl that was cheating on him. He is happy now, she is free to search for happiness. If she would've stayed, cancer guy would still be in an unhappy marriage.

>>3803747

Also, dad bailed on my mom when she got pregnant. Is all faith lost on men too?

>inb4 srs

>>3803805
Why the fuck would you get married in the first place if you have no intention of sticking by your man/woman through thick and thin? Honestly, you just sound like a cunt.

>>3803469
I know how you feel, brother. My older sibling was a heroin junkie as well. His friend overdosed causing my parents to send him to rehab. He's attending a liberal arts college while I work 10 hours a day at a manual labor job. The only joy I get is reading my old cheap copy of War and Peace.

>>3803803
Sell that business and get your ass back to England. If no one will buy it, sell everything you can and get your ass back to England.

>>3803810
Around here it's the men you can't trust. My gramps did the same thing on my grandmother. Never met the guy. The fact that a relative of mine stuck with his girl when he got her knocked up, even if she did have a kid by someone else before gave him a few respect points in my book.

>>3803803

Very happy to hear that. You creole, whitish Latin Americans who concentrate most of the wealth in South America, at the cost of millions of undernourished, exploited and intentionally kept ignorant people, are like a poison. I hope the people get back their resources and you end up hanging upside down after being beaten by an angry mob.

>>3803811
I'm with this guy. I really don't understand the point of even getting married at all if you don't love the other person enough to even stay with them when they're going through a difficult time. It pretty much negates the entire reason for getting married in the first place.

>>3803803
>Be British sailor
>Dream of sailing whole life
>First job is in the fucking Congo
>I have to go up the river on some rickety ass steamboat to get some freak who went nuts
>I have to bring these retarded pilgrims along with me
>Fucking arrows getting chucked at us
>When we get there at least we found an asstone of ivory
>The fucker I got sent up to bring back is sick as tits, though
>He fucking dies on the way back

Fuck everything

Father was a psychotic with diagnosed drug induced schizophrenia, very abusive. Mother was a psychotic with diagnosed psychotic depression caused by external sources.

Raised me poorly, killed themselves when i was 18.

I couldn't have cared less if i tried. I forget most everything in my life before i turned 20 due to either emotional repression or a lack of want to hold onto those memories.

>>3803824
>Be some young, handsome British Sailor
>Known for being a cool guy
>I fuck up JUST ONCE, get a bunch of retarded jungle muslims killed
>Run the fuck away, farther east
>Find some Malay village or some shit
>Fuck a local girl
>Beat up the local bad guy
>Finally getting over depression and shame of my fuck-up
>Some ass hole called "Gentleman Brown" shows up and ruins it

Fuck everything

>>3803811

>implying I was expecting my wife to get a fatal disease.

Not all people cope with death or several illness the same way. For some is too hard to deal with and they decide to put themselves away of the situation to maintain a certain degree of mental healthiness.

>>3803834

"Cancer guy" here (gee thanks for the name). I do not blame my ex-wife. It felt like shit to be abandoned like a dog in the middle of a fatal disease, but I could only free myself from the bitterness when I forgave her and realized it all turned out well. Not everybody is mother fucking theresa. There's a saying: you see the true face of people when in jail or in the hospital.

>>3803834
I've never seen someone so completely miss the point.
>>3803811
was right. You do sound like a cunt. Have you every really been in love before? I mean really? The way you carry on doesn't sound like you have. I won't fault you for not having the strength of character to stand by your partner through the trials and tribulations of life. Some people just aren't that strong. But please, for the sake of whomever you decide to spend your life with, don't marry them. It will invariably set them up for the same crushing sadness that accompanies the majority of failed marriages.

>>3803852

what's the point? That love is eternal and almighty? That it conquers everything? That all marriages are based on that idealistic love you have? That there is no barriers to what one can do for his/her loved one? Stop reading / watching films and see the real world.

The love of your life cheats on you, would you still be with her? Would you bail? Life happens, and in life shit happens too. When he got married the wife wasn't expecting him to get cancer, and when he got it, she couldn't handle it and left. That doesn't mean that she (or all women, as people here like to generalize) was a whore that married him for his money, or that she never loved him, or that there is no hope for women.

But that's just my opinion and view on love/marriage. If you take the situation to the pragmatic part of it, if she hadn't bailed, cancer guy would still be in a loveless marriage. Both of them would be unhappy. Do you think that's better than being called a whore on anonymous boards?

>>3803834

Serial Abandoner detected.

>single child
>grow up in a pretty stable environment, parents get along, don't move a lot
>bookish kid from an early age, want to read the classics even though have to read shit tier books in school (k-2 I was in a Catholic school)
>mom, a professor, encourages this, but my teachers are just freaked out by me because I have an unusually large vocabulary yet cannot write name properly

>move to a new school in 3rd grade
>3rd to 4th grade were some of my happiest years so far
>be a normal kid doing normal kid things, have good friends, play outside, go camping, get into trouble
>5th and 6th grade I have my first crush. All romantic attractions from this point forward very intense
>start fapping, and because from a Catholic family feel intense guilt
>tell friends about my attraction to women and they make fun of me because they are not quite there yet
>makes me feel like more of a monster. Basically I feel like Stephen in Portrait of the Artist.
>develop intrusive, blasphemous thoughts that produce crippling guilt
>get all depressed, try not to worship Satan
>worship Satan because thoughts won't go away
>never tell anyone about the thoughts
>7th grade parents break up, dad used to hit me, now I really hate him
>by end of 8th grade I am done with all this religion bullshit and all the pain it has caused me
>have massive crush in 9th grade, am tortured in the friendzone
>become awkward, antisocial
>develop deep connection with crush in 10th, we help eachother out of our respective depressive states
>can't ever see her out of school because mom mad at her after she gave me some porn
>try to sex crush, she would like to be intimate with me someday, but we can't be together
>feel like somebody loves me
>spend rest of high school between manic highs and depressive lows
>go to college
yep

>born to two PhD's
>childhood was nice. I played outside often and had a lot of room for imagination. However, I was molested once by my older sibling, which isn't very great, however, I don't see it bothering me very much right now.
>I was fine in school up until middle school when 9/11 happened and racism ran rampant throughout the halls. Result: got into many fights.
>Slept with ~12 girls in high school and the numbers slowly trickled down from there. In all, I think I've only been with 18 girls (my stance on women is very pessimistic)
>Did well in school, got a 31 on my ACT's and went to University
>Acquired an Associate's degree in Psych and a BS in Economics
>Aspired to be a musician --> failed. Music scene changed/not enough connections
>Currently aspiring to be a fiction novelist


Enjoy!

>Born to an accountant father and typist mother
>Mother files for divorce when I'm about 4
>Father fights for custody of me and my sister
>loses
>Live with my mother
>Father keeps tabs on us, follow us across state lines when we move, shows up unannounced
>showed up once with a pistol, had to call the sheriff's department
>continues to keep tabs on us
>sends me birthday cards even though I haven't spoken to him in twenty years
>Learn from my mom that the reason she got a divorce was because he was beating her
>I get homeschooled because of my mother's decision (completed elementary, then homeschooled)
>My sister gets homeschooled too
>My mom has remarried and has had a third child, a girl, who is born severely autistic (later tested to have an IQ of 49)
>First sister goes to high school, is the victim of an attempted rape
>becomes increasingly distant
>eventually cuts off contact with the family, last I heard she was married to a marine stationed in South Korea
>I do fuck all for about 3 years, then go to college
>Have a massive panic attack in class, talk to a counselor about it
>Long story short, general anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder
>Mom gets a boyfriend that treats her like garbage, she loves him anyway
>This causes conflict between us
>I will probably cut off contact with her after I graduate college
>I majored in English at a shit state school, will be graduating in about six weeks
>Grad school after that, in that same shit state school
>Hoping to get a job subbing so I can move out

That's it so far. Been kind of rough.

>Born to lower-mid-class family in 3rd world country. Got by, but no luxuries.
>Fortunate to have open-minded, progressive family that valued education as a means to haul on up the ladder of lyf. Exposed to international culture/media early on.
>2005. Start at no-rank liberal arts college in the US after mortgaging home for loans to afford it. (FYI this would be around $4,000/year since I had a near-full-ride.)
>Late 2007. Meet fascinating female on IRC.
>2009. Graduate. BA, English. Already determined to become an academic. Aiming for the highest (R1 research university tenure-track).
>Early culture shock wrecked GPA. Despite final two years being near straight-As with course overload, cumulative GPA is just shy of 2.5.
>2009-2010. Work at a pretty good place. But corporate life is a drag.
>2011. Begin MA at UChicago. Excel.
>2012. Marry aforementioned fascinating female. We're both comfortable with it and knew it was going to go there anyway.
>2013. Receive PhD acceptance to top-3 program in my field(s). Moving with wife and two cats to New Haven this fall.

>No debts whatsoever. Loans paid off. Thanks to mother-in-law's position at a noted NYC fashion house, personal style upgraded x 1000. Generally developed discerning tastes in most things. Appreciate the finer things, but don't live for them.

Still amazes me to think how unpredictable life can be. Future looks bright, though.

>>3803928
Please go into details on your parents and their influence on you as a child.
As a kid I made the decision to disregard my dad's influence and take on my best friend's dad, because he was clearly more cultured, so that's why it's a bit of interest to me. If you don't mind me asking, what ethnicity?

>>3803959
My father was/is very work-oriented. There is no question in my mind that he would rather sit behind a desk than in a seat, watching me perform 1st chair Viola.
I've contemplated the idea of him either not loving me several times.
My mother is a housewife who says what my dad -- but she is not a slave. My parents work as a team and as a result, I'm a very objective individual. I love that about me and I completely attribute that quality to my parent's chemistry as a team, rather than a loving couple.

Disregarding my dad's affection was the best thing I've ever done. As soon as I stopped caring about what he thought of my life, the happier I became.

I'm middle-eastern

This just goes to prove that regardless of blood, family is whomever you affectionately choose.

>>3803959
*My mother is a housewife that does what my dad says.

I apologize for the typo, I'm currently working on my script at the same time. Lol

>Born in the third world
>Had a happy childhood with lots of friends and supporting yet religious family. Family has a history of mental illness
>Parents sort of overprotective so I don't develop all of my social skills
>2000: Move to the US. Dad starts working construction with my uncle to support my family. Live in a one bedroom apartment with 5 other people for about half a year.
>Huge culture shock
>People seem extremely cold and uncaring
>Can't make friends in school
>get bullied
>eventually dad starts making enough money to buy a decent house
>still bullied
>become mute for about 3 years
>get into highschool, finally able to make friends
>shit was awkward because of my piss poor social skills
>grades up, everything looking good
>panic disorder hits, nearly flunk out of my final year of high school
>somehow got through it and went to college
>found 4chan. I only got internet when I was in highschool.
>made a very good friend
>anxiety and panic attacks still pretty bad
>shit got so bad recently that it affected my heart and I'm having trouble sleeping
>don't know what I'm going to do with my life
>hopefully graduating this summer with a BA in Econ.

Eh could be worse.

It's like I'm really on /soc/...

>be born in a normal middle class household
>have a normal relationship with my parents sisters
>live normal life
>at around 14 I started wishing my parents to die, or wanted drug addict parents, or pretty much anything that would make my life more exciting.
>at around 17 started thinking about attending my funeral to see how many people would go, or leaving home, or becoming an addict. Still, 'normal' life wasn't enough for me.
>now (21), resigned to have a normal life, underachiever, think I'm depressed but I don't want to do anything about it, cut myself.

>>3803998
This is a market-oriented era. Strongly consider gaining some work experience in the field and then head for graduate work. You probably aren't interested in a PhD and academic work, but who knows. Maybe you'll discover you like it. Definitely consider at least Master's level work though.

>>3803971
ah, oops. that was surprisingly similar to my own parents.
My parents both focused heavily on their work, too, they were very self-centered and didn't show much affection or interest in each other or my brother and I, past what was necessary to put us through school. As I grew old enough to see through them, their childish tendencies and overly-specified education, I lost my respect for them, though I didn't admit that to myself for a long time. They only had money to offer me, and it was the only thing they worked their lives for, solely out of a sense of duty and objective, there was nothing they were interested in spending their money on. I'm being melodramatic, the only grief it's (possibly) caused me is a certain social anxiety, though I do regret them not putting me into a better school or supporting any extracurricular interests outside of what looks good on a college app, because they easily had the funds to, just not the understanding or care. My dad's white, my mom's indian.

>>3804015
That's sort of my plan.

I'm just fed up with academics and want to get to work already. That, and my lack of confidence in my ability to successfully do a masters is really hindering me. I guess I just need work experience in the field to sort out which graduate program is for me.

>>3804024
It's like I'm talking to myself right now. Weird.

>>3803803
is this the plot to some novel that I don't know about? because if not, i've got some bad news: you are the world's worst person. you are a pox on humanity. i hope you are violently murdered and made an example of in the revolution.

>>3803784
You seem like a top bloke. I'm glad you found someone that isn't a crazy bitch.

>>3803787
Fuck you. If you really loved them you would stick by them when they needed you, not just exploit them for your own ends.

>>3803928
>In all, I think I've only been with 18 girls
The average man has 9 sexual partners in their lifetime.
18 is plenty.

>>3804028
That's funny, I feel like it's not an uncommon situation with east asian immigrants. Most of the immigrant families in the high-income town I was raised in had similar "objectively"-minded parents (both in terms of rationality and a certain dharma ie sense of duty, success, american dream) but I think my own inherent anxieties and early exposure to the internet (result of mother's work in computers) kept me at a certain distance from the general social culture surrounding me, for better or worse. I was taking influence from global, underground sources via the internet, I never adopted the same values as the other indian, chinese, japanese kids, who were generally all raised with strong morals, and to get accepted into college, which, as I thought then, is really dumb and clearly corrupted by a few fundamental misinterpretations.
I don't know, but I almost flunked highschool and now I'm sitting in community college looking into german universities because I don't trust modern US universities. What contemporary lit are you into? Music, too? I'm interested.

>>3804065
You're right. I've found that it taints my esteem at times. I think I may actually be one of the few guys that actually halves his number of sexual partners instead of doubling them.

>>3804069
yeah but who gives a fuck, really

>>3803955
wtf? you win the thread. why are you hanging out with losers like us?

>>3804074
My gf, for one. She finds it very difficult to grasp the idea that her 24 y/o bf has slept with the same number of people that would successfully deem her as a nasty ho-bag to most of her friends.

>>3804083
Gender equality at its finest. To be honest, I wouldn't give two shits about how many men my girl/boyfriend has had before me, as long as they're not sleeping with other people behind my back. Hell, I wouldn't mind them sleeping with other people too much if they were upfront about it. I don't have that many standards, I'm afraid.

>>3804087
I'm not saying that I would think of her as a whore; however, I did say that her friends would. It's a shame though.
And if you can find someone who loves you unconditionally and will take a bullet for you while simultaneously helping you grow, then you can't ask for much more than that.

>>3804087
Not having stupid standards is a good thing. Society tells us promiscuity is bad, but there's really no reason why it should be. If being a slut makes you happy, be a slut. I use the word 'slut' in the most sex-positive way, I hate it when people use it as an insult.

>>3804101
I was a slut because I was insecure. I've held nearly every woman (with the exception of the current) at an arm's length. It's not just an affection to physical pleasure; sometimes, it's a need to fill an emotional void for women (and men)

>lower middle class family
>happy childhood playing games and reading books
>lost virginity at my 14th birthday
>drop school before finishing high school
>fall in love with a girl and become her bf for those last 3 years
>she was killed last week by some retarded driver
>why am I still alive?

>>3804114
Because you'll make it through this, regardless of what your brain implies.

>>3804114
So sorry to hear that. The best that you can do is pick up and carry on. It's probably what she would've wanted. I can't say for sure because you're both just anonymous people over the Internet.

>>3804101
It's probably because of the association of promiscuity with prostitution and that women who are such will just let men do whatever they want with them, which in turn isn't exactly positive. I dunno, a woman who just sleeps around willy nilly with anyone who'd have her isn't exactly the same as a woman who lets men into her bed on her own terms.

>>3804101
>but there's really no reason why it should be
It shows a lack of devotion to your partner.

I went to college and now I have a job.

>>3803556
>Parents

born upper middle class to intelligent parents, love everything and everyone in a happy way, overachiever through the thrill of education, funny conferences through middle school over trying to cut back on my working habits. am elder sibling to slightly younger kid. grow up the the fix-everything, confidant when you need guy and protector of the family. love nature, grow up in beautiful neighborhood around forested city. regular visits to beach cabin, hikes, sometimes, lots of art, math, science, endless reading. crazy vacation every year. been all over the world. family divorced. father and his new woman marry, have kid. we all get along wonderfully. my stepmother is a professor at the college i'd gone to. get along very well with everybody. class president, professors always really like me in a nice way, probably because every subject i've messed in is incredible, comes out in the work, maybe.
was going for astrophysics major, but after nearly achieving it, decided i'd moment-to-moment feel happier in my job if i went with concept art/illustration. been buckling down on this for years. doing very well.
it's a really nice day outside, right now.
feel better anons

I've lived a pretty charmed life in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I won't be writing a Running With Scissors any time soon.

Some of you guys could write some boss memoirs if the whole sob-story memoir wasn't so overplayed at this point.

>>3804366

Sob-story memoirs rely on happy endings. Jeanette Walls went to Barnard and got a job as an insipid gossip columnist, Augusten Burroughs got popular enough, Dave Eggers worked his way to the top, etc. All of us /lit/terbugs are stuck in mediocrity.

The level of oblivious /soc/ in this thread is, quite frankly, depressing.

I almost miss the HoL threads.

Lower/middle class. Grew up in a ghetto apt that was like 95% brown people and was ridiculously fun, playing outside everyday. Had fun in school, pretty nerdy, kinda emo. Was best friend with a white tomboy girl and we'd dig up worms and throw them at each other, play-fight and do stupid shit. We got into a fight over something stupid I bet and drifted apart in middle school. My other best friend got me into a lot of trouble not that I cared; we'd shoplift everywhere, food, clothing, electronics; sell it for some quick cash and do other petty youth crime. One time he and a friend got caught and I didn't but for some reason I went back and 'gave myself in' out of some loyalty for him, I still don't know if it's on my criminal record. Our parents tried to separate us and we'd stay apart for a while and them come back together and vandalize, steal and get into a whole slew of trouble. He was 2 years older than me so kinda outgrew me in high school and he got caught for something big, joyriding a stolen car so that kinda fucked things up. Got into graphic/web design/coding because of an anime-loving friend. Went to a nerdy high school for the IB program on a whim. Learnt a lot and was simultaneously happy that I was learning so much but never tried/got bad marks and hated that I was in such an isolated homogeneous community. Made some nerdy East Asian friends. Watched a lot of TV. Got into environmentalism. Went to university in my hometown for physics instead of Lit even though it's my worst subject, solely so I'd learn something totally new and challenge myself. Made a few friends here and there but had trouble keeping in contact with them when classes finished. Came out to my parents in 4th year and some uni friends. Got severely depressed in 3/4th and fucked up some courses and a research job and have to do an extra year. Probably not gonna do grad school since my GPA is shit so I'm not too sure where my future lies at this moment but hopefully it'll be fun.

>>3804078
It's summer.Not much going on. After the initial euphoria wore off, I'm dealing with impostor syndrome and related anxieties. This, Reddit, etc. are mostly fun places to browse.

>born from shithead artist and very hardworking mother
>they argued for as long as I can remember until they got divorced when I was in ~1st grade
>already had some mental problems as a small child before they were divorced; hallucination, anger management issues
>dad being the shithead he is constantly drains my mom of money in court
>live with my dad post divorce through middle school
>only went to my moms when my dad felt like letting us, my younger sister and I, (this was only when he was notably more drunk than usual
>didn't even know what the word affection meant, wouldn't have understood it if I had
>have very very bad mental problems at this point which were never addressed
>mom marries p. cool alpha-male stepdad
>learn to appreciate life as a family at my moms
>stay there even after my dad tried to physically force me to return to his house
The rest is history.

I could probably cram stories about drug problems and relationship issues, but eh.

OP here,

I just wanted a discussion on HOL with this very creative description of my life :(

>>3804431
My tragic life story is going to end with me being rich as shit and giving money to poor people. Then possibly my mysterious suicide.

>>3804036
It's the plot to Nostromo by Joseph Mother Fucking Conrad you god damn commoner.

>first daughter of an evangelical pastor and his wife in New England
>3 more kids get born
>my mom tries to control everything: no TV, she picks out our clothes each morning, schedules out every minute of the day...
>I'm totally brainwashed to love Jesus: brainwashing camps every summer, home-schoolish lessons from mom
>I'm not like the other kids, I feel weird and "out of it" because I'm socialized differently
>move to Virginia so dad can start a new church
>in middle school and high school I lead youth groups and do Young Life
>that gave me confidence, semi-popularity, leadership, and a peer group
>get raped by guy in my youth group
>fall in lesbian love with a girl on my lax team, though she completely rejects me
>way poorer than the kids around me, go to community college
>realize the religion stuff is all bullshit
>have identity crisis as I lose my faith
>become prettier without meaning to; all of a sudden I can have almost any guy I want, I honestly don't even know how to handle being a pretty girl
>choose to have consensual sex with a guy who knows about the rape, we are together, I'm really good to him and he's really good to me, it's chill
>he leaves me for his crazy ex, who only ever drove him insane
>I eventually kind of take him back, which makes me hate myself
>I oscillate between intense depression and intense optimism, literally week by week
>work all the time and fill my head with political theory, philosophy, history, literature, and science...just to distract myself from sadness...

>>3804078
>Everyone is an autistic shutin neckbeard like me
How about no.

I'm just a regular bloke, at least I'm white and live in a country with high tax and low corruption. All things considered I think that's a blessing. Education is free and people don't talk to you on the bus.

Born and raised in a tiny town in south norway. Happy childhood all the way through. Did some mischief, had some fun, played some games, read some books, went vacationing cool places. Never cared about school. Now 21 and a NEET.

A history of failure;so utterly removed from things noteworthy and bereft of value that any utterance expounding upon and breathing life into the aforementioned is costly to the point of preferring empty prolixity.

>>3805198
>mfw society has you living like a little lord for more than two decades and then expect you to easily make the switch to slavery

>>3805259
>tfw you live 4 years feeling lower than a worm
>then you find a purpose
oh god my body is moving on its own

>>3805265
>mfw conceptions of lowliness are nothing but a social construct to coax you into compliance
>mfw the need for a purpose is a remnant of religious and feudal times and mostly an habitual inclination towards servitude
>mfw living a life of 'meaning' and 'purpose' is not a life at all
>mfw you can't have what you give away
>mfw my concern is neither the divine nor the human, not the true, good, just, free, etc., but solely what is mine, and it is not a general one, but is—unique, as I am unique
>mfw nothing is more to me than myself

>>3805304
>m-mom! please bring down some pirogis!

>>3805195
Sweden, Norway, or Finland?

>>3805310
Feel free to pick whichever, they're all valid.

>>3805308
>hhhhe i just implied you are dependant and childlike and undesirable now you will be coaxed into compliance or feel like a loser hehehe

Your tricks don't work on a proper Maxist.

>>3805304
>>3805331