/lit/ - Literature

>>3796491

Still reading it, huh?

You're a moron.

I want you to think very hard about this question, Sunhawk: what are you living for?

Why have you not killed yourself?

What earthly reason could you possibly have to go on like this?

Don't reply. Just think about it. Later on, go out and buy yourself a nice, sturdy rope. You know it's the right thing to do.

>>3796502
How's it going Sunhawk? You having fun?

Not really, I hope you die.

>book fiction

You better throw the Tao Lin.

>>3796491

Over the last 6 months, and 3 iterations of this chart, I've still had nobody explain why it's a bad idea.

>>3796561
what's the point of the chart, though? Just imagine how many books you could be reading instead of messing around with your photoshop cs2.

>>3796561
Yes, you have. In every thread.

It's a bad idea because high- and lowbrow are obsolete classifications that say nothing meaningful about a novel's actual content. And on top of that, you don't even seem to have a consistent criteria for categorising these books. The alteration made by an Anon in your previous thread (>>3796300) exhibits a better understanding of the concept.

>>3796491
>jpg
>horrible jpg artifacts
No, fuck you.
I don't accept this chart as long as you don't fix this.

>>3796607

There are basically two criteria:

1. How easy or hard is the book to read?
2. How sophisticated or basic is the book?

I used them to make the chart. When you look at it in that way, you realise it's entirely consistent.

And why shouldn't we have a chart like this? Most other boards have them.

>>3796657
>Most other boards have them.

A lot of other species eat and roll around in their feces. What's your point?

>>3796657
You didn't list books, you listed authors.
And Heller isn't sophisticated and not hard to read.

Mostly the distinction between the Low-mid brow, mid brow and Mid-high brow is arbitrary in your list.

>>3796561
That is a very idiotic, thinly-veiled lie.

>>3796667

It's curious. Listen to me, just for a moment, please. This board is obsessed with reading complex and obscure books, to say nothing of talking about 'plebs' and 'patricians'. You would've thought they would like a chart like this, maybe with different execution. Why don't they?

>>3796676
>>3796675

Thanks for saving me saying something far less eloquent.

>>3796657
maybe you should post it on other boards then...

>>3796491
Its a lot less retarded from the last time I saw it, good job /lit/

>>3796675

I forgot about that post, I really did. Well, it makes some decent points, but most posts in these threads are just Fuck you and Kill yourself, rather than saying why (if at all) people dislike the chart.


Let's say people accept the premise of the chart. What do they think about the bands and authors, and the descriptions, then?

It never fails to warm the cockles of my cock to see sunhawk hated by another generation of /lit/izens. Just when people start to really see him as the benevolent cuckold that he is, in come the newbies, and the marvelous cycle of hate starts again. It's like a celebration of life through board culture; I love it.

never change /lit/

>>3796704
>Well, it makes some decent points,
>Which I am now going to ignore

How about I quote you again and say:

kill yourself!

>>3796704
"fuck you and kill yourself" is an extremely decent point and you have provided now justification as to why you should not do it

NOBODY GIVES A SHIT, SUNHAWK.

FUCKING STOP POSTING YOUR SHIT, JESUS CHRIST. YOU ARE LIKE THAT ONE FUCKING AUTIST WHO ALWAYS POPS UP AT PARTIES WHO NOBODY LIKES AND WHO BUTTS INTO EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION AND MAKES SHITTY FUCKING JOKES, AND EVERYONE TRIES TO INVOLVE HIM IN THEIR CONVERSATIONS AT FIRST BECAUSE THEY'RE POLITE AND THEY FEEL SORRY FOR HIM, BUT AFTER A WHILE THEY GET BORED OF HIM, AND HE STARTS TO WEAR ON THEM. SO THEY ATTEMPT TO SUBTLY LET HIM KNOW THAT HE'S NOT WANTED, BUT HE KEEPS FUCKING HANGING AROUND AND PRETENDING HE'S GOOD FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE, AND EVERYONE IS STARTING TO GET SICK OF HIS SHIT AT THIS POINT, BUT THEY'RE STILL TOO POLITE TO TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF. THEN ONE PERSON DOES, ONE PERSON STANDS UP AND SAYS "YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE SICK OF YOUR SHIT. JUST FUCK OFF" AND BECAUSE EVERYONE BUT ONE PERSON IS STILL BEING POLITE TO THIS AUTIST HE ASSUMES THAT EVERYONE ELSE LIKES HIM, AND THAT IT'S JUST ONE GUY WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH HIM, SO HE GOES "HEY, FUCK YOU MAN. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? WE'RE ALL HAVING A NICE CONVERSATION AND YOU'D SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE GOES "HEY, ACTUALLY WE'RE KIND OF SICK OF YOU TOO." BUT THEN NOOOOOOOOOOOO, HE STILL DOESN'T REALISE. SO THEY BEAT HIM TO DEATH, BURY HIM IN THE WOODS BEHIND THE PARTY VENUE AND VOW NEVER TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.

WE'RE NOT AT THE FINAL BIT YET, SUNHAWK, BUT WE'RE SURE AS SHIT GETTING THERE.

>>3796728
Actually, has he ever posted personal info?

>>3796745
We found all the pathetic shit he posted on gamefags.com. I doubt he has a tumblr or facebook or anything.

>>3796747
hmm, I am not getting anything. Was it taken down? Different username?

>>3796756
Are you fucking retarded? I googled sunhawk faq and I found this in two seconds.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/202-books-and-literature/60275516

>>3796745

Posted 2/10/2010 10:05:26 AM
- I have been alive for 26 years, and have had 18 good years, 3 okay years, and 5 bad years.

- My image has gone through three main phases. Phase 1 - short hair. Phase 2 - long messy hair. Phase 3: long messy hair and pony tail.

- Gaming is my favourite thing in the world, and I own 9 consoles in total. 13, if you include replacements.

- Summer is the best season, then Spring, then Winter, then Autumn / Fall.

- My favourite foods are chocolate (which I no longer eat), pork sausages, and chicken skin / crispy chicken.

- I am thin, and was skinny when I was young.

- I believe these are the 10 best games ever, in no order: Super Mario 64; Banjo-Kazooie; Goldeneye; Perfect Dark; Sonic 1; Sonic 2; Sonic 3; Red Alert 2; Bells & Whistles; Jet Set Willy 2.

- I like indie films, such as Shortbus, Ginger Snaps, and And Your Mother Too.

- I have been in seclusion for about 3 years, since late 2006.

- In the year 2009, I read 54 books. All were fiction, most were novels, and the rest were collections of novellas or short stories.

- I live in Somerset, England. This area is known for cider, farms, being fairly warm, and being wealthy.

- I am bisexual.

- Most of my friends from my childhood were middle-class. Most of my friends in my adulthood have been working class.
.
- I have written a total of 8 novels, over a 5 year period. I wanted to be a published novelist, but have now given up on this.

He is hilariously shit.

>>3796770
Surely there mustn't be that many 28-29 year olds in Somerset, England.

>>3796778
All thems young folk moved tah Bristole

>>3796778
Somerset is reasonably large, but we know enough about him that someone with intense autism could go up there, ask a few questions, and find out who he is within a couple of days.

You still here, friend?

>>3796763
Ah, I used the search engine in the site, so I must be. Thank you for the help. All I found is http://www.gamefaqs.com/tg16/589021-bouken-danshaku-don-the-lost-sunheart

>>3796770
aahahhahahaha, thank you, anon.

>>3796778
I'll have a look this weekend, I am picking up some books I got off ebay. Hell, perhaps I am getting them from him; wouldn't that be grand.

>>3796770
>And Your Mother Too.

>referring to "Y tú mamá también" as "And Your Mother Too"

Is there anything about Sunhawk that isn't hilarious?

>>3796793
>someone with intense autism
more like someone with intense concern and devotion for the quality of this board

>>3796794
Oh lord, that would be hilarious.

>Arrive at door
>GUy says hi, hands over box of books
>Go to leave
>turn around
>Hey, are you Sunhawk
>Guy drops his spaghetti
>You chuckle and tell him that he's a cunt
>Turn and leave
>Come back to his house at night and make ghost noises at his window

ok guys. He was just trying to be "cool" with his graphic. No need to bully him/her into suicide. Maybe some day he will improve his knowledge and photoshop skills and provide great infographics.
We should encourage him.

>>3796795
Not that I know of. I've never seen him, so maybe his physical appearance isn't hilarious, but I imagine he looks like an absolute goon.

>>3796802
You must be new. Sunhawk is an utter fucking retard, and the bane of every man and woman who cares about literature on this board.

>>3796803
We know he drops his spaghetti around qt bookshop girls, so he is at least awkward.

>>3796491
Why does Stephen King always get so much hate and criticism on /lit/? He is a very gifted storyteller and The Stand is on everyone's list of must read books. Someone actually give me a reason his fiction is not good? Please do not reply with logical fallacies. Give a legit reason.

>>3796802
> No need to bully him/her into suicide.
Actually we're past that stage, since he's refused to kill himself despite our most virulent injunctions. Now we're going to locate him and beat the shit out of him.

>>3796803
>maybe his physical appearance isn't hilarious

Perhaps you didn't read above where he says he has "long messy hair and a ponytail".

Go fuck yourselves with your classifying shit for morons who only revel in others' opinions.

Who the fuck cares for such ridiculous and childish crap?

On behalf of all literature students and professors: you sound like children when you discuss authors that way. You really do.

You are to literature what Call of Duty is to video games.

You're cancer. Please fuck off and die.

>>3796813
He's a hack. He can write, but he chooses instead to churn out book after identical book to make ludicrous amounts of money.

The first book in the Dark Tower series was fucking excellent, but the rest of the series was unforgivably bad. You know an author has hit rockbottom when he puts himself into a book as a main character.

>>3796801
more like
>hey, are you sunhawk
>guy involuntarily shudders at the mention of his pseudonym in real life
>anon recognizes him
>punches him in the face
>go through his house and destroy his hardware
>break his fingers
>record it
>upload on /lit/
>/lit/ has one less shitposter

>>3796491
why is verne mid brow?

>>3796824
Still wouldn't stop him.

>>3796822
>children
>plural
>implying anyone but Sunhawk does this shit.

Where does Joseph Conrad go?

>>3796832
He doesn't go anywhere. He stays well the fuck away from Sunhawk and his stupid lists.

>>3796801
>guys drops his spaghetti
>chuckle, tell him you'll be back
>every day from then on you email him one page of joyce at a time, sometimes skipping a page, one day two of the same
>after a year, return with all the elitist forces that /lit/ can muster
>he is, by this point, a quivering wreck
>the sight of 17 or so skinny geeks gives him an MI
>we take to hospital, and when he wakes up we read him Joyce, Joyce and nothing but Joyce as he is in a state unfit to move
>in a physcotic state he leaves the hospital
>Tell him "we know, SunHawk", ambush him as he comes out, break his legs and leave him for dead
>suddenly no more shiposting

I don't know, I prefer my plan if it's all the same to you. And I would probably revoke the paypal payment.


But then again, >>3796824 is a pretty good idea. Only with pliers and fingernails, Wind That Shakes the Barely style.

>>3796836
Good. I knew he had more sense than to get put on one of these things.

>>3796832

Joseph ought to be higher than Wallace or Pynchon on any conceivable ordering. But most people here are only familiar with him through their reductive, post-colonial reading of HoD, so he'd probably end up at the bottom.

>>3796838
>skinny geeks
Speak for yourself. I run marathons in my spare times.

>>3796838
>>3796824
This is all getting a bit too edgy for my liking.

>>3796844
So skinny and a geek.

>>3796848
No, an edgy thing to do would be to fly to Quebec and punch Tallis (a good /lit/ contributor) in the face. Punching a shitposter's face is not edginess, only righteousness.

>>3796850
I'm actually kind of bulky. I have broad as fuck shoulders.

>>3796844
I fail to see how that makes you not skinny. Sorry for the misrepresentation; I am going for sterotypes here.

>>3796848
How so? I mean yes, planning to torture someone is a little /b/, but Sunhawk calls for desperate measures..

>>3796856
I am otter mode, not skinny, and I have ludicrously broad shoulders.

>>3796856
it's not really torture, only retaliatory punishment

>>3796853
>I'm actually kind of bulky. I have broad as fuck shoulders.
Coathanger.

>>3796832

>>3796300

Sunhawk is not a bad guy. He can't help being clueless and annoying. He's not like D&E or Quentyn or someone who actually consciously shitposts.

>>3796491
Does this mean i should read mid brow material?
I do not much want to be high brow
It will make me look surprised all the time
And people would be confused wherever i go, wondering what in the world has me so distraught

>>3796869

Yes, if given a choice you should absolutely choose to read more Richard Yates than David Foster Wallace. A thousand times, yes.

>>3796868
you sound like these obnoxious dog owners who are eternally butthurt when people yell at them because their dog keeps dumping shit everywhere

>>3796875
I highly recommend the novel Tao Lin

>>3796860
Again, we misunderstand eachother. When I said "skinny", my connotation was not "nothing but skin and bones" but rather "not someone who when you first see is intimidating".

And why is it there are countless attractive anon's who enjoy reading on /lit/, but none wherever I look in the real world?

>>3796868
> He can't help being clueless and annoying
You'd have thought he had got the fucking point by now.

>>3796878
I go to a decent university, and there are plenty of attractive readers here.

>>3796843
>>3796864

God damn I fucking love Joseph Conrad. Let's turn this shitposting hell hole of a thread into a Conrad thread.

>What Conrad books are you reading right now
Lord Jim
>What is your favorite Conrad book
Nostromo
>What will your next Conrad book be
Under Western Eyes

>>3796868
Let's dispel the myth of "the incorrigible Sunhawk" right here and now. The guy is almost thirty and pretends to understand the works of Pynchon and Joyce. He's not some retard who can't help smearing his own shit on the walls.

At first glance, Sunhawk does seem to be an inept learn-nothing, but if you read past threads of his, in succession it becomes obvious that he's not clueless--he just (for whatever reason) loves to play the dumb fool.

>>3796885
I've only read Heart of Darkness, but I absolutely loved it. When my exams are done in a couple of weeks I'll probably pick up some of his works from amazon or Oxfam and go through them all.

Which one would you recommend I start with?

>>3796884
I chose to do computer science as a degree, which I think was my downfall. Good luck to you.

>>3796886
Hence why a good face-punching in Somerset would remind him of his place.

>>3796886
>he just (for whatever reason) loves to play the dumb fool.
All the world's a stage

>>3796892
Computer science is a fine degree, and shouldn't stop you from making friends with the literary minded.

>>3796896
i think he was referring to the attractive people part

>>3796886
But he is utterly incorrigible. He has made no progress. He is a fucking idiot, and always will be.

>>3796899
Ah, yes. Well, there are plenty of unattractive people on my English course, and half of the attractive people are utterly vapid wastes of space, who conflate pretension with ambition and will die alone having achieved nothing.

But there are a handful of quite lovely people.

>>3796891
They're all good. Obviously my personal favorite is Nostromo, so I'd recommend that one, though there's no need to follow some sort of order.

>>3796886
I'm pretty sure he has a legit personality disorder. Possibly even the notorious assburgers.

>>3796907
He almost certainly does have assburgers.

>>3796906
Well I'll start with Nostromo anyway, because I have to start somewhere.

Thanks!

>>3796915
Hey man, I'm just happy there are other people enjoying Conrad.

>>3796852
>Tallis
>good contributor
You should see him shitpost classical music threads on /mu/, spamming pictures of firetrucks

>>3796921
I... I don't understand the common factor between fire engines and classical music.

>>3796921
I don't browse /mu/, I only care about the poems he posts on /lit/ and the constructive arguments he provides in almost every debate.

>>3796922
Fire engines are red, red is another word for a communist, communists love classical music.

>>3796929
I should really do more crosswords, thank you anon.

>>3796922
It's a french pun.

>>3796935
explain, not everyone speaks french here

>>3796936
>not speaking french
Good on you, fucking frenchies are just awful, and so is their language.

>>3796936
'Pompous' in English translates to 'pompeux' in French, which looks like 'pompier', which translates to 'fireman'.

>>3796941
>essentializing a whole people
>not mastering a language with prolific literature
>implying Tallis is French
You sound like Plebbity Pleb the little pleb from Plebtown, Plebland in the Pleb TV show aimed at plebs.

>>3796949
Wow. What unfunny, needlessly clever shit.

>>3796951
I was being ironic.

>>3796886
could he be a level 9 troll then? that would make him super intelligent then... because look how well his thread is going.

>>3796953
It's a very common pun in French:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27art_pompier

>>3796960
No, he's not. You can find his presence elsewhere on the internet, and he's universally regarded as a huge fucking retard. He is not a troll, he is just fucking obtuse.

>>3796951
>pleb

Back to fucking /mu/ with you.

>>3796936
>not everyone speaks french here
wow I didn't know /lit/ was so full of plebs

>>3796886
He hasn't ever claimed to understand them, he has said outright that after reading them, he's taken it in faith that they're good. Sunhawk is genuinely this idiotic, he was like this in other places before this board.

>>3796491
>something like 45 authors listed
>tolstoy not listed
>dickens on mid tier below salinger

sighhhhh

Whoa.

People are actually threatening to kill or hurt me? And they're trying to find out who I am in real life, so they can do it?

...

>complexity is the sole correlate of value

Would you appreciate a grammatically incorrect response from a fictional language?

Or would you prefer "OP is a fucking faggot"

>>3798683
The only way that you can possibly be considered somewhat capable of reasonable thought is if you are younger than 18

What an awful list. Not just awful in the idea of it, it's awful in a subjective manner, too. Trying to describe authors as "low" or "high" brow. Jesus.

>>3798683
If you cannot read a 4chan thread which makes such a point painfully obvious to even a mentally handicapped four year old, what makes you think you can read a book, friend?

But no, I wouldn't hurt you, as that would be illegal. Just some mind-fuckery.

>>3798718
>>3796770

For fuck's sake people, there are three easy steps for dealing with this problem:

>Ignore Sunhawk posts
>Hide Sunhawk posts
>Do not reply to Sunhawk posts

>>3798739
Alternatively,
>make Sunhawk off himself
>no more Sunhawk posts
>ever

>>3796856
>>3796747
>>3796756
>>3796778
>>3796791
>>3796793
>>3796745

So, people are plotting to hurt / torture / kill me. I've seen some stupid and bad stuff on /lit/ before, but nothing like this. Why do people post these things?

>>3798895
because we fucking hate you, you incorrigible shit. take a hint

>>3798895
>I've seen some stupid and bad stuff on /lit/ before, but nothing like this
You've never seen a Sunhawk post.

>>3798907

Are you going to kill me, too?

>>3798909
No, that only requires one person, and I have too much to lose. I'll leave that pleasure to someone else.

I'm joking, you autist. Nobody is going to kill you, holy shit.

>>3798909
SunHawk once again demonstrates his inability to read

>>3798895
Have we stumbled upon your fetish? Rape/bondage fantasies?

>>3798913

I never said he said that. I was just asking.

Perhaps I should consider getting a bodyguard.

>>3798917
I doubt you could afford. A far cheaper solution would be just to fuck off, and stop posting on /lit/

>>3798917
>>3798912

>>3796491

Why is Robert Harris not on this list?

>>3798928

Because then /lit/ would have to kill my next door neighbours, as well.

>>3798933
Just stop fucking posting.

>>3796823

what about wind through the keyhole and 11/22/63? I certainly enjoyed those.

>>3798935
That's because you're a pleb.

Tolkien

So does /lit/ want to kill me or not?

>>3798953
Stop fucking posting.

>>3798953
Stop fucking posting.

>>3798953
FUCKING READ YE DAFT CUNT. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WEE
ANSWER YOU STILL DON'T GET IT.

>>3798953
Just stop fucking posting.

>>3796527
Hah!

>>3798953
Why do you even exist

What a pretentious fuck-tard.