/lit/ - Literature

>>3764670

>>>/b/

>>3764670
Care to provide the title and the author?

>>3764674
I think you're the one who should go back.

>>3764670
Give us a link to the work. I'm curious about this work.

>>3764707
>>3764697
http://www.amazon.com/The-Barcelona-File-A-Novel/dp/1479338486
good luck finding a torrent of this

>>3764730
i should also add that the book has 96 chapters in 278 pages, thats an average of 2 pages per chapter

is it just me or is that the most narcissistic thing in the world

>>3764730
>all 4 and 5 star review

>>3764743
2.8 actually but who's counting right?

>>3764730
Yeah, there's absolutely no hope for this one.

>>3764741
Narcissism doesn't necessarily repel quality. Case in point: Inferno.

>>3764707

Not really. I am not the school boy whining like a little bitch about something completely uninteresting and far from /lit/ related.

Nobody cares about your shitty school dramas.

>>3764730
>Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (October 3, 2012)

Self published, too. Nice.

If I were you, I'd ask for a refund.

>>3764759
fun fact, that response wasn't from OP

>>3764670
>Modern collegiate system
Enjoy that English Degree anon!

Las Positas College

His email is smcelderry@laspositascollege.edu and his name Stuart McElderry.

We can safely make a shitstorm here and teach this whiny pleb teen a fucking lesson.

I'll email the guy now.

>>3764670
>he hopes will defibrillate his flat-lining career
>treads onto dangerous terrain
>a truth that would cause Lady Liberty to weep in shame.

This fucker is hysterical. Please tell me this isn't seriously his writing.

>>3764771
>Las Positas College
This explains everything.

I couldn't get past the first page. I'm sorry OP. I'm so so sorry

>>3764776
the whole book is like that unfortunately

>>3764759
And neither am I.

Do you actually understand what people are typing or do you have the reading comprehension of a goldfish? Get the fuck out of here, shitheel.

His profile says that he teaches history. Why would he set the final on a novel? Also how does he expect to retain any sense of impartiality when marking critiques of his own fucking book?

>>3764794
I have no idea, to be fair the final itself isn't a critique on the book but how it relates to the cold war. Fun fact: he doesn't know the difference between GRU and KGB.

>I'm currently taking Dr. McElderry's history class right now. I mostly read finance books, but the Barcelona File is a awesome alternative! I read the first 75 pages in 3 hours.

In class and in the book Dr. McElderry passion is just there. I'm excited for the next book the Dr. M. writes!

>75 pages
>3 hours
>A fucking spy thriller

What sort of college do you go to OP?

>>3764771

E-mail sent:

Dear Stuart,

It seems like your students are quite mad about you promoting and selling your book abusing your position as their teacher, and even making it part of their final exam.

One of them in particular, as you can see in the attached print screen, is not only complaining about it but also made clear that, in clear violation of the applicable laws, has searched for a way to download it.

I would recommend launching a witch hunt and discover this little agitator. America will appreciate your kind service.

Best regards,
Anon

P.S. Self-publishing? Really? Oh. gee..

>>3764791

>>>/b/

Adults are talking here. Bye.

>>3764771
holy shit, I'd bang the guy

>>3764802
Community, getting those transfer credits.

>>3764752
Which network is this on?

>>3764808
That explains everything.

>>3764803
>adults are talking here. bye
>bye
>first one to send OP to /b/
>adults

I can't wait for summer to be over.

>>3764800

Report back asap when you get a reply, anon.

>>3764818
He is probably going to be bewildered as fuck

>>3764802
>I read the first 75 pages in 3 hours.
I laughed so hard when I read that.

>>3764802
>>3764835
Have you guys ever read self published work?

It takes a while to read when you have to take a break, groan, and rub your eyes mid way through every paragraph.

>The ghost was fighting sleep when the sound of an approaching aircraft rippled across the sky like distant thunder.

really?

Ah OP....I feel so sorry for you.

>>3764845
That is still not an excuse. A spy thriller book, a self-published one at that, seriously?

I guess you can be excused if you are taking notes, and actually analyzing your Professor's work.

>>3764852
Oh god. Oh god.

That's the sort of level I would expect from a fan fiction.

>>3764845
And then give it 5 stars anyway to try and get better grades of your egocentric professor.

>>3764852
>THE SPAINSH ARE WATCHING.
>Fucking animals. We are all fucking animals.
Yes, I am.

>>3764852
This sounds like something Mac and Dennis would write.

The reviews for this are gold...
>My friend from back in the day recommended this book because her husband wrote it. I love to read so I took a shot on it and it was not disappointing. I cannot wait for the second one.

>>3764670
>A few seconds later a figure came down the ramp. It was a man in a fedora and a trench coat

Abandon thread, the author has infiltrated /lit/.

>>3764852
Beautiful. It's like i'm actually reading Stephenie Meyer

>>3764865

So, Stuart is straight. At least he pretends to be and is actually married to a woman.

>>3764867
Perfect. Just fucking perfect.

>>3764857
Or Pynchon. McElderberry is simply ahead of his time and is tragically misunderstood by his contemporary society.

>>3764865
If there's a book I'd never read is the one a person I know wrote it. I could not say how bald it was if I didn't like it.

>>3764861
You can get an internship first and then use that to put on your resume you fucking hippy. Hell, I have a job and I'm a college student.

>>3764826
This, I have no idea what the guy sending the email is expecting

>>3764927

Shits & giggles, I guess.

>>3764918
Nah, that's bullshit. I had an internship for a year and it lead to nowhere.

>>3764960
>get degree
>join army
>pay off degree
>leave army

>have degree, and army experience

Suddenly, the world is your bitch

>>3764965

You mouth breathers are so funnily naive.

>>3764970
I can't say anything in response, so I'll may vague assumptions!

>>3764965
>>3764973
Nah, the army is bullshit.

The government says that they'll pay for your education and your health insurance and whatnot, but once they're finished with you they promptly forget about their veterans. It's pretty common.

>>3764978
I don't think they can retroactively take away your paycheck in the form of 'forgetting', as I was referring to actually paying with your money.

And considering you will have a student loan so don't even have to pay it off until you reach a certain payscale, what's the problem?

>>3764984
>student loan
Holy bad ideas, Batman, why the fuck would I ever get a student loan?

Seriously, I might as well just max out twelve credit cards at once buying beanie babies off ebay, while I'm at it.

>>3764871
>married
Well, he's getting just as much sex as anyone here, then.

>>3764984
In the UK you have to be in the army for at least 5 years and we have shorter tours than you americans, so there's that. Who wants to spend a year being shot at and worrying about your legs getting blown off?

It just blows my mind that American schools of any kind can get away with shit like this. Professors at my university have been fired for less. I am doing a computer science degree so perhaps our standards are higher, which isn’t saying much.

>>3764997
4, actually. That and I am English.
Join the air force if you don't want to fight, my point is it is an easy way to pay off debt, maintain fitness and have fun.

>>3764993
Again, see above, ours are not that bad; when I got one at least, I cannot say about now.

You're right, though, sorry for not saging.

>>3764743
Cat's Craddle has 127 and it's what, 240 pages?

Is there any way to calculate roughly how many copies a book has sold from its amazon ranking? What's the rank of a book with zero copies sold?

People commenting on reading 75 pages in 3 hours have got me curious. How quickly do you read, anon?

>>3765054
Depends on text density etc. , but I find about 1/2-2 pages a minute, depending on whether or not this is the first time I am reading and why I am reading.

>>3765054
For something dense a page a minute. For something light 2-3 pages a minute. I read quicker if its a reread or i'm familiar with the author's other work.

>Book for my Philosophy 100 class is by the professor
>It's a collection of Greek-medieval writings that you can find online individually for free
>Costs $50
>Professor apologizes for it on first day of class, says he doesn't get any of the money because his contract doesn't let that happen
He was my favorite professor I've had thus far in college. He smashed a cell phone with a hammer on the first day of class to illustrate his feelings about people answering phones in class.

>>3765074
>He smashed a cell phone with a hammer on the first day of class to illustrate his feelings about people answering phones in class.

I think that might have been a trick he pulled with a £10 phone at the beginning of the term to impress you. Still might be a nice guy, though.

>>3765128
>I think that might have been a trick he pulled with a £10 phone at the beginning of the term to impress you.
He never said the professor smashed a student's cell phone.

>>3765135
Neither did I.

>>3765142
Then what trick did he pull?

>>3765154
He pulls out a 10 quid phone at the beginning of each term and smashes it.

Admittedly he say "a phone", so I am assuming it was his, he 'prepared earlier', as it were.

>>3765162
*said, hurr