/lit/ - Literature

>>3724795
10/10 bretty good.

felt like The Truman Show, even though it's completely different. it has that slightly "funny if it weren't against me" feel - like a cult or some elaborate prank. even though the story is simple - good writing good probably fill it and make it hilarious/disturbing

>>3724795
promising/10

hilarious and thought provoking

I think you should go for a pynchonian twist and just forget the shit being symbolic of how he lived, but just have it be shit

If the shit is daily responsibilites he neglects, what's the shit that appears on his doorstep every day?

Sounds interesting OP, but "shit" sounds too... blatant. There also isn't yet a real plot -- does the character deserve his sentence? He's an asshole, but what asshole-ish things will he do to earn his fate? What conflicts does he face?

If there's no conflict besides the protagonist being a shit the story would just be a series of descriptions.

>>3724795
I think it's quite a great idea, although I too find that the thing representing his undone chores etc. is shit to be a tad bit too crude.

>>3724795
Southpark did it
The episode where Stan turns into a cynical asshole

Simpsons did it.

it's got a "Silent Snow, Secret Snow" feel. the question I have though, is, is he acknowledging that he's crazy and the only guy who can see the shit? Or is he in denial and think other people can see it? and how does he justify his idea that he's smarter than everybody else, or is it just a rationale to allow him to neglect social responsibilities?

And really, if it's longer than twelve pages, it's too long.

>>3724795
I'm not joking when i say that this could be a 10/10 book if someone good wrote it. I'd love to read streams of consciousness by the protagonist

zelda is a girl?

>>3725402
You're thinking of Link, the playable character in Zelda. Most plebs think the guy is Zelda.

>>3725397
Basically if I wrote it, it would be the thoughts of an increasingly suicidal cynical asshole that you could definitely expect to browse 4chan daily and cum without tissues

>>3725389
>>3725389
The people in the book are pictured to be way more stupid than they actually are, so in a sense he is living this sort of illusion. He doesn't think he's crazy until the end. I wrote the first page of the book. In the first page, he notices another shit on his doorstep. A lady walking by (she walks by everytime he sees the new shit) comments on its texture and how the shitter must have had taco bell. This shows just how he's separated (in his own mind) from the rest of the world based on his intelligence.

>>3724932
True, it sounds an awful lot like South Park. Maybe I should scrap the idea.

>>3724918
Valid point.

>>3724860
The character is definitely a douchebag, but he's actually quite relatable. Also, the shit on his doorstep is symbolizing the small about of things he's neglecting, but eventually it all catches up to him.

>>3724855
Or this.

I've got the first page written if anyone cares. Also, I have a few more ideas. All of them tend to be unusual like this one.

They include: Sixty Nine Bukkakes in Chicago, Puritan Whore, and some others that have no name but include rape, incest, etc.

I love writing shit that makes people laugh and then cringe.

Actually, fuck it. If yall could rate some of my other ideas right now that'd be great.

Sixty Nine Bukkakes in Chicago
>Asian teenage girl lives under harsh rule of her parents
>shes a fat fuck, but she's sweet
>Constantly made to get better grades
>Eventually meets scum bag boyfriend
>Scumbag boyfriend fucks her
>9 months later she shits out a baby
>omg a toilet baby
>Decides to run away from her life
>Finds herself experimenting with hard drugs
>Begins to shoot pornos in Chicago
>Soon sucked into a meaningless existence
>All the while porn producers from across the globe find out her incredible talent for cumming buckets. Literally a guy drowns on set
>Scum bag boyfriend returns
>drama drama drama
>Protagonist increasingly more emotional
>Begins to get sucked into the illusion of her being a Hollywood actress
>Imaginary people tell her she needs to be better, to wow the crowds
>Her final porno, about 20 pages long of extreme porn
>Finally takes gun and kills herself
>Porno director later reflects on the tragic life of protagonist as an innocent teenage girl sucked into a horrible existence. Believes that we should all slow down and look at what we are doing
>end

Puritan Whore (An awful lot like the previous)
>Plymouth, 1700s
>Puritan girl living in times around Salem Witch Trials but not actually during them
>Wants to be a complete hoe
>faces religious struggles and sexual struggles
>Wants to fuck the shit out of older guys
>Faces personal issues and emotions. like why is she such a hoe?
>Various scenes occur where she has crazy sex with passed out puritan boys and even the minister
>eventually the town finds out
>Killed in some dramatic way
>People see her only as a whore and not as a teenage girl trying to live without being bottled up
>tragically, she is soon forgotten by everyone except her mother who secretly talks to the girl's doll as if it was her
>end

Bueno? No?

Totally Kafkaesque

Sounds really cool

does he have schizophrenia

>>3725886
Not sure really. havnt developed his character to extreme detail

>>3725876
Im going to take this as a compliment.

>>3725876
What flavor is that?

how does my idea sound?

>Suicidally depressed bloke who thinks humanity is on a downward spiral joins a cult.
>Midway through his transgression he reassess himself and wonders whether his own beliefs coincide with that of the leader's.

Edginess is not a substitute for talent, no matter how much BEE and Palahniuk have dicked you with it

>>3725934
that's not a story that's a situation

>>3725934
I like the cult thing, but I need more.

>>3725936
Nice buzzwords, faggot

>>3725900
All joking aside, I like the idea

>>3724795
>>3725869
You've got some good ideas. I'd like to read some of what you've written too.

>>3725961
>>3725999
Thanks! I'm an alright author, it's just that I have trouble sitting down and writing without starting to think "Oh fuck, didn't plan this. Or this. Ah shit I deviated from my original goal".

Please tell me you guys are joking. This is absolutely retarded.

Did anyone actually take this guy seriously?

>>3724795
Sounds like a Bella genderswap.

Uhm, I mean 10/10

10/10, would steal.

>>3726226
Im sorry, are my ideas supposed to be about knights and bitches with menopause?