/lit/ - Literature

>>3685749
>I would never fuck Audrey Hepburn

What's so great about her?

>>3685749
He was probably a strange and annoying cunt. Geniuses (Genii Roma Maximator Imperius?) are rarely good company.

>>3685774
I think she's very pretty, but also delicate, feminine: something like a fairy. Her elegance and shyness makes me excited.

I also am sorry that character in the book "Snow Country", Komako, does not exist in real life: I really wanted to sleep with her. I never felt any attraction for any character from a book: she was the only one.

>tfw not Hermann Sörgel

>>3685749
>tfw I never gave a shit

>>3685749
>tfw no Silvia Plath wife

>>3685839

Would you fuck her hard while she recited poems amid moans.

>>3685867
Absolutely. Every time she says something about Nazis or her daddy issues or something I'd just keep pumping harder and harder.

>>3685867
I'd psychologically abuse her until she baked her head in an oven.

>I will never go pussy-hunting in Rome with Ovid
>I will never fuck Germaine de Stael while she teaches me Latin
>I will never be rejected by Hypatia of Alexandria

>>3685884

>le Ted Hughes face

>mfw I think someone really smart should write an essay titulated "why I don't want to meet Shakespeare" to silence all those idol-worshipping faggot

I don' care about meeting Shakespeare. I can read him, I have access to the best he ever made out fo his life. Why should I worry myself about his lesser achievements or, for that matter, his failure ? It's like wanting to meet the guy who baked your birthday cake in the childish hope that somehow he will taste better than the cake itself. That's pie in the sky, man. You can read Shakespeare, that's what matter, the only thing one can really deplore is you can't see him perfom on stage anymore.

>wanting to fuck Hepburn

There's Lola Creton for the sophisticated fags.

Today is shakey birthday.

If you could meet him you could saty for the party and the cake.

>>3685749
It's ok, OP. I wanted to meet and fuck the same people. But I also wanted to meet Jack Churchill and Nikola Tesla, fuck Marilyn Monroe and Bettie Page. And drive a chainsaw through Jonathan Edward's face for being a raving christfag thundercunt.

>>3686576
>you will never remind hypatia of her rejection as you incite a mob to tear her to pieces

>you will never speak to Freud and Nietzsche and kick their faces in for being raving idiots

Why are these sorts of threads acceptable but whenever a subject that is even slightly controversial comes up you get faggots spamming and saging left right and centre?

>>3688467
How stupid can you be? /lit/ is a place for intelligent discussion of literature, not your silly little solipsism. Just because none of your edgy middle school friends agreed with you when you made a thread doesn't make /lit/ /b/ 2.0.

SAGE SAGE SAGE

>>3685801
>but also delicate, feminine: something like a fairy.

She's androgynous, she looks like a little Italian boy.

>>3685749
Shakespeare was probably a boring asshole.

If I had to have a chat with a dead person it would probably have to be Socrates (assuming we could understand each other).

>>3688462
Anon, you torment me.

>Never seeing Ayn Rand's face as she furiously rationalizes taking money from the government.

>>3688480
>assuming we could understand each other

Oh, he'd understand your big pictures shoved right into his tight, little abode like the submissive little Greek he is.

>>3688503
I thought socrates wasn't into eromenoses.

>>3688480
>She's androgynous, she looks like a little Italian boy.

Oh my god! That means i'm gay?!!

>>3688503
>like the submissive little Greek he is.

lolololololololololololo

>>3685749

OH GOD, HOW I WONDER, HOW I WONDER!

>What was his routine like?

>Did he write more in the morning or at night?

>Does he wrote with speed or did not produce many pages per day?

>Has he had plenty of time to write, or act and supervise the theater rehearsals took much of his time?

>>3685749
>>3686619
>>3689683
>implying he actually existed

>>3686619

A New Critic! Get him!

>>3685839
in a fuck, marry, kill scenario, how the fuck do you pick plath for marry? that bitch cray.

>>3690192
hnng

shakespeare didnt write most of the plays attributed to him

marlowe

>>3690747
lol, have you actually read any of Marlowe's plays?
Why would he use his own name to publish those if he was capable of writing stuff as good a Shakespeare's? Not that Marlowe's a bad writer - Dr Faustus is pretty fun and I have a soft spot for Edward II - but he's no Shakespeare.

Also their styles are completely different.

And then there's the slight problem that Marlowe was a little bit dead.

>>3690830
>And then there's the slight problem that Marlowe was a little bit dead.

lol

>>3690162
What's a New Critic ? I don't belong to any critic school, I merely speak as a reader. Meeting people long dead when you have access to what they did best in their life seem like an odd a kinda childish thing to me.I don't deny that meeting a great writer could be an interesting thing, particularly if you're an aspiring writer, but as a reader, I don't consider it to be more interesting than reading him.

>>3691337
>as a reader

You never want to meet any authors of great books you've read, just to hear what they have to say about them? To physically meet the person who weaved your favorite yarn?

bump

>tfw you will never lick Audrey Hepburn's feet

>>3694243

I would want to lick and suck her pussy.

>>3694250
gross

>>3685749
I know that feel, bro.
But i want do this with Hemingway.
Also, greetings from Russia.

>le feelio when no qt3.14 rimbaud bf

>>3694243

She is so beautiful! I really wanted to spend a winter night with her in a hut in the Swiss alps.

>>3691337

New Criticism is a school, popular in the middle of twentieth century, which championed close reading of literary texts. In other words, its proponents believed that everything which is necessary for the analysis of a text is 'internal'. It proscribed the kind of cultural materialism which has ultimately usurped it.

>>3685801
>also am sorry that character in the book "Snow Country", Komako, does not exist in real life:

Here she is.

>>3694263

Love that pic. Thanks.

huehuehue

No sexy pic of Shakespeare? I would love to undress that doublet and that breeches.

lol.

>>3690830
What if Christopher Marlowe didn't really die? What if some other body were buried and Marlowe's death was faked? It happens in Cymbeline (Cloten's headless corpse) and in Measure for Measure (Barnardine).

Marlowe is the only person with the talent to have written Shakespeare's plays. But if it was Marlowe, it would be related to some kind of conspiracy / cover-up. And we know Marlowe WAS involved in conspiracies, cover-ups, and espionage. How can you so easily rule Marlowe out? Seriously.

>>3694350
>How can you so easily rule Marlowe out? Seriously.


The styles of Shakespeare and Marlowe are totally different (their metaphors, their similes, the themes in their plays, the most used words into their vocabulary). You will not go to sleep in one day writing in some style and somehow wakes up in another day writing in a completely different way.

>>3694367
He has a massive vocabulary, a command of differing high and low styles, and most importantly there's no biography we have that could "explain" his work away. In other words, he's still a mystery in a way that Dante (who did meet Beatrice and wrote from that inspiration) or Joyce (who did meet Nora and immortalized the day she first gave him a handjob) are not. Because we figure, oh Dante or Joyce did it for a girl they loved and lost or didn't lose, or whatever.

Hence, the authorship debate. Freud thought the plays were written by the Earl of Oxford. Walt Whitman and Mark Twain believed the Bacon theory. HELEN FUCKING KELLER believed the plays were written by Francis Bacon. (See the new book by Shapiro, "Contested Will", if you doubt me.)

You want to know my theory?

One English writer gets to be the most famous writer of all time. His name? Shakespeare (or so they say).

Meanwhile, 400+ years earlier, the only Englishman ever to be elected Pope gets elected as Pope. He promptly uses his powers to give Ireland to the King of England, which says a lot about the Papacy and about Irish Catholics. What was his name?

Well, Pope Adrian IV. The only English Pope. Look it up. His real name was Breakspeare.

Obviously Shakespeare was some kind of pen name. Obviously there is a conspiracy. I just find it hilarious that it's only within the past 10 years or so that people have started to suggest (based on the "Shake-shafte" found in a Catholic recusant household during Shakespeare's lost years) that Shakespeare might have been Catholic. DUH. Joyce noticed this, Antony Burgess noticed this, they both knew about Shakespeare / Breakspeare. They just had better things to write than more fapping over the supposedly greatest writer of all time.

Pic related: It's Hamlet's Uncle, the Roman who conquered Britannia and was deified there.

>>3694372
>Antony Burgess

Burgess would think you're a moron. Just this week I read him saying that only someone who is not a writer thinks it necessary nobility and university study and education for Shakespeare came into existence.

You spent so much effort just to make a troll post. A pity.

>>3694393
Yeah, yeah. And yet...the same Pope was connected to John of Salisbury, whose work Politicraticus gives the motto (by way of Petronius) to the Globe Theatre.

I'm not making this up. I don't have a theory. I just read more widely and think in different ways from Professional Shakespehearean Scholars.

>>Burgess would think you're a moron.

Would he? I'm just listing facts that nobody ever bothers to adduce when they talk about Shakespeare. Read the life of Claudius in Suetonius' 12 Caesars. Remember nobody in Denmark is named Claudius in any source material given for Hamlet. Now ask yourself....why does Polonius hide behind an arras in the same way that Claudius Caesar did after Caligula's assassination? It's a visual pun that nobody in 400 years of so-called "scholarship" has pointed out.

also
>tfw you're too mad for syntax

>>3694350
>Marlowe is the only person with the talent to have written Shakespeare's plays
But Marlowe DOESN'T have the talent to write Shakespeare's plays.
Compared to Shakespeare, Marlowe is NOT VERY GOOD.

>>3694445
>"yes he did"
>"no he didn't"
>"yuh huh"
>"nuh uh"

If indeed they were all by one writer, then it is entirely fair to say that man is the greatest writer in the history of the English language. But what if they were written by more than one writer? What would that do to our heroic ideas of authorship and lone genius?

Or put it this way: Sir William Empson, who was a very well-read and intelligent man, and a good poet, so I won't knock him for being a critic, at the end of his life declared that he had read Marvell's satirical poems "Advice to a Painter" and decided that it was clearly the work of 6 different people. Most professional Marvell scholars thought Empson was just off his trolley (as they say in the UK), and he probably was.

But seriously....what if? We act like geniuses act in isolation, that they owe nothing to other people.....and then suddenly somebody discovers that John Milton plagiarized one of the best phrases in Lycidas from a lousy poem called "Sir John Van Olden Barnavelt"

The phrase, incidentally, describes a writer's desire for fame..."that last infirmity of noble minds".

>>3694459
Well Shakespeare wrote theatre, and all theatre was written communally to some extent.

>>3694459
are you the same guy who posted all this stuff in 2012? kind of sad I guess, this OCD in action if so
too bad you couldn't have gotten addicted to "performing laparoscopic surgery" or "balling tight girls"

>>3694372

There's still people who think that Shakespeare was not Shakespeare?

Do you not realize that it is more work to arrange a conspiracy theory that makes sense that to simply accept that:

>A small town boy (who was not so poor – a mayor's son and a son of a mother of a relatively famous rural family)

>who took taste for Latin poetry in school (please note that at the time the schools were called “Grammar Schools”, because they actually teach only that: Latin grammar, and also lots of writing techniques, figurative language, rhetoric, and other verbal tools)

>who had to work early and who soon learned to take care of children (was a father at the age of 18): things that will give him a knowledge of life that few educated man of his age really had

>which has the name stamped on the front page of two narrative poems (Venus and Adonis and Lucrece),

>which has the name mentioned in the record of players in London,

Was, after all, the most impressive poet of the English language?

Remember the philosophical statement known as Occam's razor, that states that among competing hypotheses, the hypothesis with the fewest assumptions should be selected. In other words: the simplest answer is generally the correct answer.

>>3696603
>the hypothesis with the fewest assumptions should be selected
>the simplest answer is generally the correct answer.


9/11 was an inside job.

>>3696645
that anal prolapse i gave you wasn't an inside job

>>3694420
>>3694372
Thomas Pynchon, why are you copy+pasting your old posts?

>>3688480
>She's androgynous, she looks like a little Italian boy.


You say that like it's a bad thing.

>>3697156

>>3696603
A hypothesis is a guess in a toga. I think the idea that simplicity usually correlates with factuality is wrong, as the many errors of common sense prove.

>>3697233
>A hypothesis is a guess in a toga.
I'm going to start using that now. Brilliant.

>>3696753
You mean Steve Erickson.

>>3697562
Are you going to start writing songs with the New Bohemians?

>>3697620
>alternative rock jam band that originated in Texas in the mid-1980s

That sounds so, I don't even know the word for it. "So 80s" I guess. Not exactly cheesy, but just so from the 80s.

>>3697562
^^