/lit/ - Literature

Posting some gems from last time.

>>3676320
>all those grammar issues
>heavy-handed approach to race issue
>Willow: The Hood Assassin
Dear God.

>>3676324
And it's written in size 62 font or something. That's one paragraph stretched over three pages.

>>3676328
>mfw betarotica is now a genre

>>3676320
>Willow: The Hood Assassin

>>3676356

>>3676326
Can you post the link to this one? I quite like it.

>>3676325
He right well.

>>3676369
http://www.lulu.com/shop/jasmine-brobst/the-invisible-secret/paperback/product-20970978.html

The cover is ah-mazing.

Not from Lulu but equally amazing.

You can tell it's not self published because there aren't any spelling errors.

WGDE strives to show that there is no God, no miracle, no supernatural explanation for the workings of the Universe as claimed by General Relativity, Quantum Mechanics, String Theory, and traditional religion. WGDE holds that Big Bang is a creationist theory in disguise, nothing more than a veiled way of selling God. If you are open to new ideas and want to have a fresh look at science, specifically the physical workings of light, gravity, electricity, magnetism, etc., WGDE provides you with a rational alternative. You will never listen to a mainstream mathematical physicist again.

A book designed and written for the layman. Over 300 illustrations. More at:

http://www.youstupidrelativist.com

>By Bill Gaede...the guy that sold the pentium process to the iranians and chinese is now a crank philosopher of science and sells his shite on lulu

>>3676328
>I kiss downward to greet your kitty and say hello
Jesus of Nazareth, I can't hold myself.

>>3676378
Being a spy is not easy life. Not everyone is James Bond.

>>3676375
>>3676378
>>3676377

>>3676385

go to his website...maybe prison broke his mind

>>3676328
>I kiss downward to greet your kitty and say hello
Better than ASOIAF.

>>3676378
This is fucking brilliant.

>>3676316
>talking shit about ulillillia. The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters is a fucking post modern masterpiece.

>>3676378

I was not ready for this.

>>3676416
does he keep using those color codes throughout all 273 pages?

I hope he doesn't do that throughout the entire book.

Why is every single book on Lulu part of a series?

Don't people know that books don't need sequels all the time?

>>3676448
>I have adjusted my life of being a creature of the night.

>In english...

>For it's meaning.

>fangs, fangs, fangs, fangs

>infodump, infodump, infodump

>>3676432
He is an idiot savant. Seriously, he is a once in a generation guy. I'm not even joking.

>>3676448
They never need a sequel.

>>3676448
So many sentence fragments... so many unnecessary commas.

>>3676316
>>3676456
>yfw ulillillia is far more intelligent spending his life with bumpkins eating degreased pizza than you will ever be with years of study
You make fun of him, OP, but can you multiple three numbers at once?

I see the space pirates are taking their profession a little too literally.

>>3676518
I'm looking forward to that documentary about Ulillillia, more than anything else at the moment.
http://www.theplatformmaster.com/

Yikes.

>>3676518
The sorry, he is an idiot savant only with emphasis on the savant. I honestly think the guy is something of a genius.

>Writing the colors in Hex

How can one be that autistic?

>>3676559
>When I was age 3 I got my first karate kit, age 4 I got my yellow belt, by the time I was aged 8 I had advanced to brown belt and just three months later I got my black belt

>I gouged the b*****ds eyes out

>When I was 15 I got my first samurai sword.

>Now I am age 25 and work for the new Japanese secret service

>investigate a top secret organisation that may threaten Japanese society

What am I reading?

I have a signed copy of The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters. Uli is the best.

>>3676559
that could be copied straight from a joyce novel and you wouldn't be able to tell

>>3676602
You noticed the weaboo influence in Ulysses too?

>>3676320
oh my god. this surpassed my expectations

>>3676536
They're taking goddamn forever with it, making me question how good it's actually going to be.

>>3676580
it's actually kinda genius. i wish i was autistic enough to be able to convert it to dec and visualized RGB

>>3676634
just use the eyedropper tool in Photoshop.

>>3676624

There was a news post this morning:

I know we've said this before, but I'm sorry that this documentary is taking so long to complete and that the wait has become bothersome. The film is being worked on right now, but I've decided to share exactly what has been holding things up, going back quite a bit.

After we returned to New York a year and a half ago with a lot of footage of Nick and the flood, we - young and recent film school graduates - thought that it was important to make a film that focused on everything we saw in North Dakota that summer, with the specific intention of getting festival attention. Once we realized that film wasn't clicking with festivals, we thought we would release it, as it was, during the Fall of 2012.

In truth, the first edit of the film wasn't very good, but what we lacked then in experience we make up for with integrity and shrewdness. Sure, we may have let it go too long before deciding to "hit reset" and go about it a different way, but we care a lot about this film and we will not release it until it is complete and worthy of your time. Nick would never release his game until it was good enough to meet his high standards and attention to detail, and I refuse to betray our honor, Nick's legacy, or the audience that has waited anxiously. You deserve a great and interesting documentary about Nick, and you are going to get that.

So now I am editing it myself, working on it every day, and it will get done. Since we're no longer making a film for festivals, I am editing a film for you. I want to impress you, entertain you, and leave you eagerly looking forward to our next film. I have everything riding on this film, the least of which is my reputation. The film is approximately 75% complete now. Also, I want you to know that I will start posting more regular updates to keep you entertained and informed until the day the film is released.

Thank you for your continued support and enthusiasm. I'll have more for you soon.

>>3676634

He should describe locations using latitude and longitude. Make it the ultimate autisit novel. Make people have to decode that shit

>>3676645
>carrying a photoshop with you while reading

>>3676377
>Lord Wolverton, Master of the Wolf's Aerie
lol

>>3676559
This is the most insanely idiotic thing I've ever read.

>hating on Ulilillia

Fuck you /lit/.
You don't even know ;.;

>>3676405
That was actually well done

>>3676559
I don't even know what to think of this

>>3676332
actually not minding the prose, although it does seem pretty horrendous in terms of theme

>>3676559
Dat frivolous exclamation mark
>mfw

>>3676448
>I am over 400-years-old.
>This information has nothing to do with my tedious explanation of different types of vampires.

>>3676448
>I don't always need blood to survive
>Blood is the key to my survival
stopped reading there

>>3676328
>sucking harder with each suck
fuck, that got me really bad
this shit is comedy gold!

>>3677495
>sucking harder with each suck

Is this erotic fiction, or is the author doing a meta critique of his own story?

>>3676448
>Vicious Vamps
I don't know why but this made my giggle.

>>3680136
10/10

I think there's some plague going to happen. Love how he slaps his whole twist right into the synopsis...

>>3680136

>>3676328
>>I kiss downward to greet your kitty and say hello
Fuck, I'm crying