/lit/ - Literature

Justine, or the Misfortunes of Virtue

>>3549297

Grand!

I had cellphone wallpapers.

Bartholomew and the Oobleck

>>3549297
I wish I'd come across Justine first. i might be a normal person today.

instead i got a Grove press hardback of the 120 Days of Sodom.

now, i hang out on /d/.

I don't masterbate to books. Not to other media either for that matter. Reading Sade did influence my sex life though.

I never masturbated to books, however books helped me paint incredibly vivid images of fictional events in my mind, now the only way I feel able to masturbate is through my imagiation, as it can create things far more arousing and elaborate than anything pornography could conjure.

>>3549315
>>now, i hang out on /d/.

Monster!

>>3549315

That's alright. I'm no normie myself. My browsing history could fill a few psych journals.

>>3549343
This is patrician masturbation right here.

>>3549368
Thank you. I started when I was twelve and by the time I was twenty I had built up an elaborate story centering around me, the ruler of a nation whose primary objective was to fuck all foreigners. To be honest it was a lot like Rance, only with magic and interdimensional shit built in. It was pretty awesome building up a continuity based around my various sexploits.

Why dies everyone talk about the time before the Internet like the year the Internet was invented is year 1. No one ever talks about the time before anything else. It's always LIKE IF U CAN REMEMBER LE DIAL-UP

Can't remember if it was the Shining or It.

>>3549376
I dislike regular exposure to pornography myself. It severely fucks up the mind and kills any imagination and natural feelings of lust in favour of a crude form of simulation. The orgasms don't even feel of proper intensity. Mentally driven masturbation is the natural way to go and I believe it's actually good for you in the sense that in addition to being a wholesome form of self satisfying it also helps develop the imagination. I'd say it even has the potential to make you a better writer since you get into the habit of creating these coherent lifelike vivid creative mind movies. Which can star inserts of people you actually know as a bonus. Cogito ergo cum.

>>3549419
>>Cogito ergo cum.

Quality.

>>3549400
>LIKE IF U CAN REMEMBER LE DIAL-UP
I remember when 'le dial-up' was a BBS number listed in your local white pages.

>>3549419
>>3549376
>>3549343

I can't get off unless I imagine fucking someone I know personally.

>>3549400

>that feel when eight years old and talking to grown women on AOL chat rooms about fucking them raw

There was a sex scene or something in Catch 22. I remember reading it when I was fifteen. I was in a forest having a post in a track race or something. I had to wait for an hour or two before anyone came by me. That's probably the only time I've actually masturbated to literature.

Ah! To be young again.

>>3549419

>>Mentally driven masturbation is the natural way to go and I believe it's actually good for you in the sense that in addition to being a wholesome form of self satisfying it also helps develop the imagination.

The more I think of it, the more this makes sense.

Some parts of Naked Lunch. I especially remember a part where some people fuck younger guys and finish by breaking their necks. I masturbated to this scene while choking myself. Good times.

yes, even seinfeld did an episode about it

i oldfag now?

>trying to think of a book you HAVEN'T fapped to

Robert Jordan's sex scenes, Harry Potter, Wizard's First Rule, philosophy books assigned from school, History Books (rape of the Sabine, anyone?), Random poems, posts on 4chan,

And I'm a dude, too. I've been fapping to literature ever since I started fapping, and I honestly prefer it to video/pictures when I'm looking for a glorious fap. It's like a different kind of fap. Video = the hard liquor of fapping, pictures = the beer, words = the fine wine.

I understand women schlick to books as well, I guess I'm just the male version of that.

>tfw 800/800 on reading portion of SAT

The first time was almost certainly done to one of my mother's many, many romance novels. I would sneak one off the shelf, scurry away to my room and use the following guidelines:
>Women need build-up/ foreplay, so the scenes would naturally tend to be after the halfway mark, no need to go searching through useless backstory
>You don't need to read an entire page, you just need to look for certain key words (stalwart, hardness, splash, alot of heat related words, mounds....oh the mounds....)

I blame these books for giving me an incurable virgin/deflowering fetish, also for giving me a higher class of taste and imagination (until I found an unguarded internet connection, at which point I became a drooling troll of a man who can only get off to the most shocking depravities).

>>3550556
Sorry buddy, those weren't women. More like:

>that feel when eight years old and talking to grown men on AOL chat rooms about fucking them raw

>>3551089

The author is dead.

>>3551089
Being one of those men, I can fully attest to the validity of this post. In fact, I pretend to be a woman so much that, if you have 10 "women" you chat with on the net, I am 7 of them. Though I usually prefer to chat with other "women", I've branched out because I'm a creep. I try to justify this obsession by telling myself that it's making me a better writer, but it's also turning me into a recluse with no qtgf. But maybe I can be a cautionary tale and keep you from making the same mistake.

My Tips For Those Who Want To Be Cool Like Me:
>Know your biology! Women have strange, terrifying biological functions and, if you run into another "woman" who sees cracks in your visage, they will sense weakness and close in for the kill.
>Know pantyhose sizes and what size your particular body type would wear (see above for why). Which brings me to the third rule....
>Have a realistic description of your "body". An average or even mildly unattractive woman is far more likely to be on the net than a 10/10 wouldbang supermodel.
>Learn how to type, jerk. If you see a first message like "hai, i am woman want to sex chat?" then it's a red flag sent up on a signal flare that you're actually talking to a man. If you make the chat more easy on the brain, your prey will be more inclined to believe you.
>Be well spoken but not too "smart". This ties in heavily with the rule before it, but it deserves it's own mention. Like it or not, a smart, sexy woman is just not something you're likely to find in a chat room (or ever), so if you have Shakespeare, physics books and other such things piled up just waiting to be read while you wait for replies, keep it to yourself.
>People will deceive themselves if you just follow these rules. Self delusion is the best kind.

>>3551140

What if the idea of talking to a man pretending to be a woman is equally appealing to me?

>>3551145
Then you have moved on to the next level. A level without so many rules. You have transcended the mundane climes of normal chat and ascended to a higher plane.

Or you're just a bi/gay (my bread and butter) who's also a pretty cool guy (NOT my bread and butter. tfw).

I've popped an intense boner while reading a book several times, but never masturbated to it. I don't masturbate that much, so I guess I don't see every moment I pop a boner a reason to masturbate.

>>3551264
Wish I knew that feel.

>>3551140
>>Know your biology! Women have strange, terrifying biological functions and, if you run into another "woman" who sees cracks in your visage, they will sense weakness and close in for the kill.
What kind of box do you live in where you don't know about a woman's "biological functions"?

>>3551322
Periods, man.

wifey, by judy blume

>>3551330
They're not some big secret broski. I reckon you just have shitty relationships with the women in your life.

I masturbated to a kids illustrated bible when I was really young

>>3551140
>In fact, I pretend to be a woman so much that, if you have 10 "women" you chat with on the net, I am 7 of them.
I used to do this all the time on teen chat sites when I was in high school, except I would do it with girls who I went to high school with by taking pictures off their myspaces.

Good thing I never had any friends in high school.

I've never flapped to a text but I have gotten randomly horny while reading and proceeded to masturbate.

>>3551334
thatsthejoke.jpg

I read Bernhard Hennen's Die Elfen when I was 12 or so. Good times.

>>3551305

Ditto.

When Luis Buñuel entered into the dusk of his life and got a medication which killed his libido, he said that it felt like being finally free from a demon.

I do not know how that freedom feels like.

>>3551539