/lit/ - Literature

Being gay won't help you, OP. Nor will being transsexual.

As everyone knows, /lit is completely backwards on transgenderism.

asl?

>>3542766
Does being female and bicurious put me ahead of the game?

>>3542768
24 (turning 25 in less than a month)/female/NYC area

>>3542771
good god let me smell your feet

>>3542768
>>3542771
>>3542773
pls
>>>/soc/

Go to your local library look for the kid wearing chinos and a black petticoat reading a classic. He'll probably be receptive if you keep talking to him. He mostly likely won't make the first move though.

>>3542776
ORRRR
>go to your local library
>look for the rotund intellectual in a fedora and cape
>yiff loudly to get his attention
>allow him to sniff your hind quarters
>make fox noises together for eternity

This board is for discussing books and literature, not for finding dates.

There's a rumor going around that you were claimed, /lit/. Is it true? Please say it isn't so.

Go to a lecture, wait for the break, and try to spot a lonely guy who reads instead of going to talk with people.

/thread

Don't bother about real-life guys. The only decent boyfriends are gays or characters in books. Better read books.

I speak from experience, being in the 0.001% most decent straight non-character men and still a human trash.

>>3542771

If you're ever in Southern California, I'd squarely fuck you.

>>3542769
sfw?

>>3542806

Breasts aren't NSFW

>>3542771
What borough? just out of curiosity. Im in queens

>>3542794
>Be heterosexual
>Be 24
>Be 6'4"
>Be 190lbs
>Runner's body
>Be 6/10 in terms of looks
>Dress in khakis and sweaters.
>Brownish-auburn hair and green eyes; Scottish-Irish ancestry.
>Have auburn beard although I trim it and it doesn't look like shit.
>Only had one girlfriend. She ended the relationship because we were going to have sex and I knew she wasn't in an emotionally secure point in her life; when I refused she dumped me.
>Quiet, introverted, reactive and an INTP.
>Work

>Have abandonment issues because parents divorced and promptly ignored me. Scared as fuck to have a woman reject me.
Waiting for a girl to show interest before I make a move. Most girls in my life ignore me.

This is all i have

>>3542826

No thanks.

>>3542826
Hello Ellie

>>3542758

More pics like OP.

>>3542826
Lift weights and get some sun and I'd hit it.

>>3542758

To imagine myself in this tiny bedroom with a cup of coffee and a qt by my side is giving me the greatest boner.

>>3542775
Unfortunately /soc/ is just a cease pool of interracial tits and oversized dicks. I'm not so into that.

>>3542776
Tried that. We dated for a bit, but he has horrible anxiety.

>>3542794
>thatfeel.jpg

>>3542806
It's anthropology, it's sfw

>>3542808
Fuck you, are you saying that Venus is nsfw?

>>3542823
I'd be all over you

>>3542846

>>3542888

>>3542889

>>3542891

>>3542794
This from someone that likely fills their mind with Jane Austen and paranormal romance.

>>3542895

>>3542826
You're cute. Too bad you're white. :(

>>3542826
I'd love you tenderly if I weren't a kissless virgin who wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she leapt on me. We could still read together, though.

>>3542899
I've never read Jane Austen or any paranormal romance for that respect. I simply think the only kind of legally allowed relationship should be lesbian sexual or platonic relationship. Heterosexual intercourse should be practiced not as a normal activity but as a regular transgression of institued relatoinships. Marriage for lesbians only, and all man and woman sex should be a lesbian cheating on her spouse with a man.

>>3542889
That's my future.

>>3542889

>>3542794
Is this what betas actually believe?

>>3542921
Please shoot yourself in the throat

>>3542921
>I've never read Jane Austen or any paranormal romance for that respect.
Someone get this broad a copy of The Elements of Style, stat!

>>3542794
>>3542921
Maybe if you weren't as bitter as your posts would imply, someone would actually like you. Then you can annoy and alienate them with your femi-fascist nonsense.

>>3542931
Would you that cause me any kind of sexual plesaure ? Also, are you a lesbian ? I promise I will never have your girlfriend cheat on you with me (from now on at least) I you're afraid of that.

And >>3542928 I couldn't tell yo, I'm not a beta. But from experience, vaginas tend to get worn-out very quickly in the case of frequent heterosexual intercourse. That is why I advocate for this kind of intercourse to be performed only as a transgression, thus enriching the experience with a sense of shared threat and the pride we get from daring to cross the line of the forbidden. Preserving humanity's vaginas, enforcing spiritual (and not merely natural) selection among men and stirring (so to speak) their spirit by adding challenge. It would certainly contribute to the noble task of reviving our dying culture.

>>3542946
500/10 I legitimately want to murder you

>>3542936
Are The Elements of Style enlightening ? Are they sexually challenging ? Mere curiosity.
>>3542941
I'm not any bit bitter, sir. Simply enlightened. I think you misunderstood me, I have nothing against heterosexual intercourse per se, I even practice it very eagerly. But for the reasons I exposed above, I think we need to make it more difficult and more challenging. Lesbian intercourse aren't inherently superior, simply more preserving, more fitting as long-term managment is concerned. Vaginas are precious, sir, we ought to preserve them as we can. And for that matter, I don't envision such an ideal state with an harsh enforcement of laws.Getting a girl to cheat on her spouse would be considered a noble feat, such as capturing a prisoner was in Ancient times. But it would be punished nevertheless if you let yourself get caught, albeit non-lethally so.

>>3542956
Thank you, sir. Would you do it in a sexual way or simply with well-tested method ? I'm curious to the utmost.

>>3542946
It's people like this that make me happy I avoid dating women with intellectual pretensions. I have work colleagues and friends to discuss, say, Classical Chinese allusions in Soseki or the drive toward tendency and disintegration in Beethoven's late music.

All I want is a woman happy with being a woman and not looking to be my rival or whatever. Average girls are easily impressed with a man who can be funny and nice. When they come back to my place and see the thousands of books in my apartment, it does provoke curiosity. But, thank goodness, I'm spared their pretenses. They're just fun to be around with.

>>3542978
Scared lil virgin

>>3542987
fat ugly dyke

>>3542978
I understand that you can be genuinely terrified by my level of enlightenment. Even I was at first. Average people just can't take it. Your avoiding of pretenses is all good as long as you pay attention to how you preserve vaginas and enlighten minds. This is all that there is to attain a superior state of being. But don't be upset when an over-literated gentleman sleeps with your innocent girlfriend. He is simply winning the great challenge of rising toward sexual patricianship.

>>3542826
I'd marry you if you lived in Canada.

>>3542994
No, I just know you

>>3542978
This I agree with. In my experience Relationships with other artsy-lit-intellect types < relationships with regular chicks.

>>3542978
>intellectual partner
>has to be a rival
>thousands of books
>still sexists

you sure are unenlightened AND an atheist

>>3542978
is that why you stopped replying to my emails ;_;

>>3543011
Who is this?

>>3542978
>All I want is a woman happy with being a woman

The fuck does that mean?

>>3543010
You are right, anon. Quoted anon is a retarded sexist. The enlightenment of the mind comes from the caring for the vagina, but the other way around is true also. Never neglect the sexual power of books, always ponder the intellectual liberation of sex.

>>3543001

Troll thread confirmed.

>>3543019
>hurr women cant handle or do muh intellectualism (even though i'm too much of a dumb fuck for serious philosophy or pure mathematics)

>>3543019
>i.e. woman who enjoys adhering to traditional gender roles.

What's wrong with that?

>>3543017
Haha, you may not be the same person, but it was someone else into Japanese & Chinese lit as well as classical music.

I am someone they contacted in a /lit/ penpal thread and then they stopped replying.

>>3543028
(and I assumed you were he because I know he's around today, because he has very specific tastes in female authors)

OH YEAH FUCK WOMNE MHM I LOVE ME SOME ALPHA MALE COCK RIGHT UP MY DOMIANT MALE ASSHOLE OH YEAH FUCKIN BITCHES I DONT NEED YOU

>>3543021
If by troll you mean dialectical enlightenment (in a rather Hegelian sense) then surely yes.
Captcha: poets andhivo.

>>3543020
What does "enlightenment" have to do with anything? Why can't one enjoy sex simply as something beautiful in and of itself without concern for ideology? Why get angry over another person's personal choice that does not affect you either directly or indirectly? For all this talk of "enlightenment" you people sure are fascist prudes.

GIVE IT TO ME OH YEAH BIG MALE PENIS MHM YEAH VAGINAS ARE GROSS I LOVE SWEATY MALE ASSHOLE FROM PUMPING MANLY WEIGHTS SUCH MY HARD ALPHA MALE 20 INCH DICK

>>3543031
Who are you responding to, sir ? I'm afraid the point you are trying to make isn't too clear.

>>3543039
WHO U CALLIN A "SIR" MOTHERGFUCKER I AM GODDAMN APE MASTER ALPHA MALE FUCKIN WOMEN I DONT NEDE THEM OH YEAH GIVE IT OT EMGMDSFMSDFHJSRUITYG8I4WTKWJFDHBHDSGJFADKGKJDAGJ

FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Is it bad to want girls who had few or no sexual partners?

>>3543045

No, just boring as fuck.

Is it bad to want men who had few or no sexual partners?

>>3543045
Yes, because it means that you are cis male scum who doesn't respect a woman's right to have sex with as many partners as she wants and suffer no repercussions.

>>3543055
HURR I AM LE IRONIC EDGY CONSERVATIVE

I HATE MY LIBERAL PARENTS

ALL MY HIGHSCHOOL CRUSHES WOULDN'T DATE ME EVEN THOUGH I AM AN ALPHA MALE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FUCKIN FEMINISM

>>3543055

Are you implying that women shouldn't have free sexual agency? On what grounds? Should men be impaired in the same fashion?

>>3543045
Only if you think girls who had several sexual partners are "sluts". If not, then you're good.

>>3543033
Enlightenment isn't a ideology, but a state of mind, it is you in feeling both the extense and the limitations of your mind, its overwhelming power as well as its perputual hinting at something, something farther. But this is merely intellectual enlightenment, which is obviously the first step, but should be followed by sexual elightenment. Which itself can't be achieved is vaginas aren't properly cared for. Quod erat demonstrandum. It is not about denying the beauty of sex, rather about exalting it and experiencing it more thoroughly. Not all sexual intercourses are created equal. Nothing can match the level of extasis of an intercourse between two enlightened beings (particularly if one is anally enlightened while the other is genitally enlightened but that's a bit of a technicality). And I am by no means angry, sir. I'm simply disapointed at beholding the unenlightenment of some people in this place from which I expected a lot. As for the fascism, I guess you are among the one who associate mind superiority and sexual mastery with fascism. That's a common mistake. But the fact you're overwhelmed but my intelligence shouldn't have you mistake me for a fascist, not at all-those people were actually very unenlightened.

>>3543060
Why should that matter to anyone? As long as they're with me at the moment and they're STD-free then that's all that matters. I agree that this obsession with "purity" is pretty retarded.

>>3543064
>freudaftereadinghegelandthekamasutra.jpg

>>3543059
Yes, I was, but I don't really believe that. I'm just being silly on 4chan, and I thought I would say the obvious response.

>>3543068
I guess if you could create a crossover between Freud, Hegel and a master of Kamasutra it would end in someone rather advanced on the path of enlightenment. In rather tend to think of myself as Socrates enjoying platonic love with Kant while indulging in sexual experiment with Marie Curie and Emmy Noether. But thak you for the compliment anyway.

>>3543064
>But the fact you're overwhelmed but my intelligence

>>3543064
>Enlightenment isn't a ideology
>a
>But the fact you're overwhelmed but my intelligence

>>3542797
I'm in SoCal, bro. Let's hang out, check out my books.

Nevermind, I already uploaded them here:
>>3542587

Check out my face instead.

>>3543078
I'm sorry sir. I just started learning English five hours ago and I have grown tired of the endless sexual intercourse I have been very actively involved in over the twelve past hours. You're right to spot my mistake.
>>3543073
Thank you for enjoying my sense of humor. I'll teach you the theory of humor enlightenment next time, if I am too busy at my vagina-caring facility.

>>3543088
Don't cry anon.

>>3543090
*not too busy, obviously. My bad. Looks like I can't stay in a state of extreme genital rigidity for thirty-six hours straight like I'm used too without feeling the repercussions. Even enlightened people and vaginas age, after all.

>>3543088
You look a lot like my good friend. The weird thing is, I see so many people who look like him. Do you get that a lot? People mistaking you for someone else, or saying you look like someone?

Am I /lit/ enough for you guys? Also, I have a welt on my lip because I had an allergic reaction to Bactrim. Can't take sulfadrugs now!

>>3543094
Yeah, more or less all the time. I guess I've got a pretty fucking generic face.

>>3543093
>>3543090

>>3543095
Don't worry, I have oral herpes as well. My last flare up was last last week and it was the first one I'd had in almost two years. It's not as bad as people make it out to be.

>>3543095
/lit/ enough for me. Move to Canada.

>>3543097
I like your face.

>>3543072

That's interesting. I've always seen myself as Tyrone Slothrop fucking Sarah Silverman while fellating Rimbaud and Subcomandante Marcos.

>>3543100
Well, I get cold sores too, but that thing could have become this.

>Zenkner, now 20, was a victim of one of the most frightening drug side effects you've likely never heard of: Stevens-Johnson Syndrome (SJS), a rare but devastating condition where the top layer of skin and mucous membranes, such as those covering the eyes and lips, blisters and peels off in waves. It can even affect the internal organs like the lungs. Some patients go blind. Some wind up with severe scarring. Some patients die.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/42501090/ns/health-health_care/

>>3543103
Really, sir ? Then you must be of the coloured-cigar enlightened kind. Very rare breed of enlightenment. As an umbrella-skin cold-sun ocean-air enlightened type (common but rarely seen at this level of advancement) I can say I am more than happy to meet you. Any comment about your path of enlightenment ?

>>3543114
Nice DSLs

>>3543028
Is this "gingersalmonella"? You'll have to forgive me, please. I haven't been able to access my pseudonymous e-mail account in a week not because I haven't enjoyed talking to you. But in a moment of inspired idiocy, I used a purposely difficult to remember password unlike the one I use for my real e-mail, which I then didn't bother to write down anywhere, simply trusting my browser to save it. After I received your third e-mail, I was browsing the website of a local newspaper and in order to circumvent their paywall, deleted my cache of cookies—which deleted the password saved in the e-mail I had opened up.

I'm a deeply sorry for this and was hoping I'd bump into you here again.

Also...

>and I assumed you were he because I know he's around today, because he has very specific tastes in female authors
>because I know he's around today

You already might know me better than a lot of people...

>>3543118

Watch a lot of Norm Macdonald.

>>3543102
Th-thanks.
... I have to go now.

But in all seriousness, I suppose I'm happy with it. Hopefully we'll see it on the back of an actual fucking book sometime next year, the amount of research I had to do for the second section of my novel today was ridiculous. Goddamn burnt out, only reason I'm throwing my face up on the /lit/ board in the first place. Feel like dicking about to get my mind back to reality. Probably just gonna get back to writing instead though.

Anyone else working on stuff?

>>3543119
>DSLs
>Domain Specific Languages?

I got trips?

>>3543124
Interesting. How enlightened is he ?

>>3543128
Dick Sucking Lips babe

>>3543130
Thanks :D

>>3543125
I'm working on having the mind-enlightenment process better integrated in the vagina-rejuvenation process of my vagina-caring facility. I'd also like to upgrade to be worthy of the "Dante and Baudelaire having sexual intercourse only through a distant but very loving and yet definitely defiant staring contest." I wonder what Emmy, Marie, Immanuel and Soso will think about that.

>>3543131
More like ;(|}

>>3543127

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCRCd0r4ZIQ

He transcends the form.

>>3543123
Yep! Well, ginsengsalmonella. Ginger, ginseng.

That makes sense though! I'm not trying to pressure you to reply or anything, I was just fretting a little about maybe saying something really off-putting in the last message. I figured I would see you around again sometime. Your tastes are pretty recognizable - there's few enough people here into Japanese lit, and even fewer who are into it past the most major novelists.

>>3543135
Maybe if I spent the last eight months reading something other than Infinite Jest I would be able to relate.

>>3543142
Nice one. I'm not too familiar with the oral enlightenments of Englih so a bit of the salt got past me, but nevertheless. This kind sir happens to have a very enlightened (though not that sexual) face. If I had to place a bet I'd say he could become one of the brick-and-fish enlightened kind (but the good brick-and-fish of course). If you like a subtle humorist (though this one is more a wizard of wordplay) try Raymond Devos. He is dead, unfortunately, and almost as much unfortunately he also happens to be French. So full fluency in French will be required to follow this brilliant bender of language.
>>3543157
You should read Dante, then. Start with Vita Nuova. There weren't vagina-caring facility at his time but he sure would have understood theur necessity. Then move on to Cervantes, then Montaigne. At the end of the spiritual journey you should be able to invoke the image and structure of the perfect vagina through pure strenght of focus. But I hope you don't expect to penetrate it right away (even if only mentally) for any vagina should find its matching vagina before meeting the middle strenght of a man.

>>3543173

>not that sexual

Please. I'd fuck Norm.

hey lit tell me i am hansom plox thanx

>>3543197
nope sry sage

>>3543197

>>3542826
pure coincidence that the camera positioned is so far away i suppose?

>>3543144
No, nothing off-putting! On the contrary. I was actually overjoyed reading about you, the general kindness that you exuded in your e-mails, and great taste in books.

If you're around still, please e-mail me here:

mancatbooks@yahoo.com

This time I promise to not lose the password!