/lit/ - Literature

http://vocaroo.com/i/s069oafnqQGH

New Year’s Eve

by D.H. Lawrence

I feel like I should be paying you for this. That was wonderful.

The Proper Study of Mankind, Alexander Pope

I always think of /lit/ when I read it.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s18ONhtSrbZB

I would, but I have a horrid french accent.

>>3427598
OP here. Payments in kind are all that I ask for. Get your ass to vocaroo and read something cool. This could become the best thread on /lit/ if more people like you step to the mic.

>>3427588
>>3427629
Thank you, anons.


Since I'm bumping, I may as well contribute again. Here's a longer passage from the same book, in which the narrator and Ishmael are discussing the mythological narrative of progress that drives modern civilization, the hefty price we have paid, and the reasons we give for why progress is so often thwarted.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0iZO6T3KazL

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Rnz5sMr75C
amazing passage

wah, OP, your voice is so nice..

OP here again, bumping this thread one more time with fresh content before I leave to go do some /tg/ stuff with my wife and friends. Source pictured.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Aad4y6AFmw

>>3427838
You sound like you might have a decent reading voice underneath your impression of that slag who penned My Immortal. Let's hear you give a reading of something that isn't trollfiction.

>>3427848
Thank you.
micwhore blushing engaged

>>3427774
Good reading, thank you. At times you do a kind of James Hetfield thing with a 'da'/'tha' at the end of a line.

>>3427716
ahhhhhhh do it please.

>>3428921
>oh god i can hear it now

http://vocaroo.com/i/s18IEOKrr3Kh

>>3429062
Classy selection and nice cadence.

It's going to get hot in here

http://vocaroo.com/i/s058vIY07laA

I wish I had a nice voice like you guys and gals.

>>3427716
read sartre or something

>>3427838
I had to follow up on this masterpiece

http://vocaroo.com/i/s06bwxIm2uqF

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rjdYQYgHG2

spoiler alert

>>3427542
I picked up Ishmael because of you today, and I'm really enjoying it. Thank you.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ANrPLBFh7d

I am not at all happy with this.
Also poetry>prose

This thread is cracking me up.

Somebody do some DFW.

I'd record but people are sleeping so I'll just bump. Might post tomorrow.

bump before I heard to bed

>>3427542

that was pretty good OP

http://vocaroo.com/i/s08JA8UC0sRC

Kurt Vonnegut - Mother Night
Sorry if I don't enunciate that well.

>>3427838
You are a wonderful person.

>>3427542
That was really good, you've got me interested in in the book too!

someone do some wheel of time

My voice is far from OP:s but I can try to read some.

>>3427838
Had a great fap

>>3427838
Hah!
>Ghastly accent
>Ghastly reading material
BWAHAHHAH
'straya?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1i0KbXlqXmo

>>3427838
Why is this turning me on?

>>3427838
How bad is it that I can recognise My Immortal?

>>3431030
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0AVfqxv6iZf

>>3431030
>>3431038
and finally some Sade.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s00Ysbj7cbYZ

>>3431030
>>3431038
U r 1 posh cunt m8.

>>3431047
I'm actually not that well off, my parents just had very different accents and I listen to a lot of radio 4.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lmqLmYpO5S

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0wAWKHOeaZX

That was a mouthful.

Not my favorite but what I'm reading

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rIemLmmwhA

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VoEBuJhK8A

>>3431248
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0SwBXTxOW6T

300 niggers laughing

From 'Flash for Freedom!' - Flashman has enrolled on a slave ship.

>>3431290
http://vocaroo.com/i/s13JugdH6EPa

Here's my obligatory Whitman effort:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s09rCOLJwCNG

I read The Windhover by Gerard Manley Hopkins but accidentally missed out the word "told" from "billion times told lovelier".

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lCbgLNTGH8

>>3431038
Oh my God...

>>3429062
Back with a poem http://vocaroo.com/i/s0hIK8WfrZmv

>>3431465
>>3429062
I like your voice.

>>3431465
Jesus, son. How many cocks did you suck to get that voice?

>>3431483
Semen is actually very good for your throat so I make sure I eat most of mine and suck a nice cock (delicately) whenever I'm out. And I make sure not to use my voice whenever it isn't needed.

>>3431465
Could say something like: Oh you, stop it!
and record it

>>3431465
>>3431483
Homosex's. On my /lit/.

>>3431515
fine
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GG4eNA0Rk4

Little rough; my mic is shit. Turn your volume down a bit.

Poem 1, "Condolences" by John Foy:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Mr8YJFDF4E

http://www.thenervousbreakdown.comfoy/2012/01/condolences/

Poem 2, "Waiting and Finding" by Jack Gilbert

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0BwWh4uGhfW

http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/ptry/2009/03/02/090302po_poem_gilbt

>>3431528
You made my day, friendo

>>3429062
>>3431465
Last one before I get back to some Borges. It was nice to work on my reading voice, whenever I read in front of people I get really flustered. http://vocaroo.com/i/s1i78jdikVUc

First, a heartfelt message from the OP:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s097f1uRNVaW

And now, some Robert Fucking Burns:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0opRIV3pp1N
http://www.robertburns.org/works/7shtml

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0oJ9rRjRXD4

Kurt Vonnegut - Mother Night

>>3431643
You're actually coming along quite nicely in this thread; I especially enjoyed that last submission. Here's hoping you come back for more practice.

And if you (or any other thread-lurkers) are looking for a way to psyche yourself up for a public reading, try the following warm-up exercise. Watch these two clips from the TTGL anime:

http://youtu.be/1WCFbdOOmOY
http://youtu.be/OUNU993ijZA

And then record yourself saying some version of those two lines as loud as you dare. Address it to whoever you want. You don't have to yell to make it work, but you do have to stand up, plant your feet and PROJECT LIKE A BOSS. Don't hold back, don't think twice, don't be afraid to throw yourself into it.

Now, just so nobody thinks I'm not willing to take my own medicine... here goes nothin'. Might wanna turn down your volume a bit.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0C8X76YwPli

Now LET'S HEAR YA GRIT THOSE TEETH!!!

>>3432083
>that voice
>I think I know that voice!

Are you the man whose voice hijacked a thread away from the /b/-tard OP who delivered what he promised? If you can tell me what stunt that OP delivered, I will believe you and welcome you to this thread as a long-lost brother.

And even if you aren't that guy, that was a damn fine Vonnegut reading you just dropped.

>>3432190
Unfortunately not. Just an aspiring voice actor trying desperately to get rid of my southern accent. This is pretty good practice.

Any requests?

>>3432290
Read some Faulkner! At least a southern accent is an accent. I'm from the midwest and feel like I have no distinction.

>>3432290
Anything by Mark Twain or Tennessee Williams.
Seriously though, the days when folks need to feel ashamed of their accents are long since over. Any accent, no matter how rustic, can be an asset if you can deliver it with sufficient aplomb. Or did you think that the regional pride movement began and ended with foodies?

>>3432301
Bullshit. If folks from my adopted Pacific Northwest have accents, then speakers from the Midwest sure as fuck do. EVERYBODY HAS AN ACCENT. Show it off already.

>>3432301
Yeah it's an accent, but I always had the impression growing up that my accent dumbed down the content of my words. I'm still a little self-concious of it now that I'm living in Nevada.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0oOzx5AZF3h
Ad Astra - Falkner

>>3432460
I don't deny that it could be an asset, but the "common" American accent is good to have under my belt considering the field I want to go in. Also, I'm having a hard time picking out anything from Twain. Anything specifically?

>>3432608
>"common" American accent is good to have under my belt
Then you're not really trying to "get rid of" your native accent; you're just trying to expand your repertoire. I can respect that motivation.

Let's hear you read that part of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn where Huck is agonizing about whether or not he should help Jim escape to freedom, and ends with that classic line: "All right, then, I'll go to hell!"

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1xu6hZIra7C

Dat Robert Louis Stevenson.

My wife dared me to read this to /lit/. Hey why not; kiddie lit can still be /lit/ if it's poetic enough, right?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lDajU2FczR

I've loaned my favorite book to someone so I'll read to you from the book that one of my favorite films is based on. Ratman's Notebooks is the book, which inspired the film Willard.

Quick summary: Main character trains an army of rats to do his bidding. His most beloved rat is named Socrates. Another rat, Ben, appears to be just as loyal and intelligent as Socrates, perhaps even moreso, but something about him disturbs the Ratman and he tends to ignore the larger, more malicious rat while he lavishes attention on Socrates. The part I'm reading from takes place after the Ratman has made a habit out of bringing Socrates and Ben with him to work and hiding them in the storage room.

part 1 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s1d0ySx4QF4n
part 2 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s1znVZGgkK2W
part 3 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s1bggpOtmQvG

It's nice to hear /lit/s voices. You forget there are people behind the comments.

Charles Stross: The Atrocity archives

(The only thing I've got going for this character is the Brit accent.)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1TJxKeiIDqO

>>3432685
Tonight, on Masterpiece Radio Theatre...

>>3432794
>dat intermission
>my sides

>>3432826
OMG you're adorable. Read something else with animals! Got any James Herriot on your shelf? If not, I'll wait for your friend to return your actual favorite book. That might be cool too.

"now two old ladies sit peacefully knitting" by E.E. Cummings.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0HgdyNJOMgq
Sorry about my lack of God voice like OP's.

>>3433200
http://vocaroo.com/i/s12T8sYIKfN0

>>3433244
If you insist, then! Chapter 8 of The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1mNVtwkZTHP

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fHDHLXZDgE

>>3431269
>mfw this is an actual poem
http://names4things.wordpress.com/g/slim-in-atlanta/

I've always loved Robinson Crusoe. It's not the best work, but something in it clicked with me.


http://vocaroo.com/i/s1rc9S1sQTPL

>>3431534

"Downtown" by Frederick Seidel

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1AsX50FSLqm

http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/ptry/2010/07/05/100705po_poem_seid

>>3429322
There you go, mate. About two thirds of the first page. It's not my best voice, as I just got up, but it should do the job. http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Rfzhjwy7aQ

Did some part from Kafka's the Trial in German.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1M3A3b9UkOH

>>3431903
Sorry but you've totally, completely fucked up the pronunciation

for starters it's "To a moose"

>>3429322
Seeing that his style is to explain his ideas thoroughly and at length it'd be difficult to get a passage short enough with any kind of meaning

>>3431903
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s097f1uRNVaW
Aww that's nice. What's your favourite Burns poem (excl. To a mouse)?

>>3433842
Forgot to add: It's David Foster Wallace's "Infinite Jest".

>>3433851
Quite OK per se, but please... I hate it when people say "ch" as "sch". Even if it's part of your (audible) dialect, don't do that. Regarding the dialect itself: I'm not to judge whether it's good or not, I usually prefer listening to standard German though. Other than that, it's a tiny bit monotone, try to work more with the pitch of your voice (I am fully aware that the ambitus of the German spoken language is usually smaller than that of the English).

>>3433851
No idea what you're saying but the bit near the start where you start grinning and have to stop yourself laughing amused me.

>>3433309
Pic's for you. Well done again.

>>3433491
That is a remarkably subtle and concise critique of the work.

>>3433496
The style of your delivery suits the content pretty well, I think.

>>3433842
I'm trying to place that accent of yours.
Sprechen sie Deutsch?
Good reading though, and doubly impressive if English is not your native tongue.

>>3433862
Yeah, I figured something like that would crop up. Give us a reading yourself and show us how it's done! Seriously though, I could use a few good examples to help me train for next year's Burns Night supper.

>>3433910
"To a Mouse" is far and away my favorite, followed closely by "A Man's A Man For A' That" and "Holy Willie's Prayer."

>>3434265
>>3433842
Good guess, I actually am from Germany, but the English language is my biggest hobby, I'd say. I've really been working on my accent a lot, but it still kinda creeps up from time to time, for example at the "shine". However, thanks for the compliment!

Fave Burns pomes:

Lend us a quid till the end of the week
What's twenty quid to the bloody Midland Bank?
Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?

So many contributions since I last posted. I've listened to all so far. I wish I had some of the amazing voices in this thread. Great job everyone.

I decided to read a passage from something that isn't trollfiction

http://vocaroo.com/i/s07mwuTFVZwV

Note: If you are currently reading or have any plans of reading Gene Wolfe's The Book of the New Sun then you should not listen to this as it is very spoilerific.

I'm going to do Part 1 & 2 of Howl. I warn you, it's going to be long (~10-14 min) and probably not very good.

But I really like the poem. More like a marathon than anything else.

English version
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Th3J492NNF

French version
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1m6AKkvCYVO

>>3434850
Nice reading. Don't worry too much about spoilers; I think in general people tend to err on the side of underselling their favorite books because they worry too much about giving away the conclusion. I knew up front that Captain Ahab was going to die chucking that harpoon at the whale, but I read Moby Dick anyway. And because of your passage I might just have to add Gene Wolfe to my to-read list.

>>3435023
Bilingual submissions so cool. Welcome, brothers and sisters from /int/!

Here's some more stuff from the guy who read the first page of "Infinite Jest". I've recorded a part of the monologue at the beginning of Goethe's "Faust", in both German and English:

German:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0BNnLqlfxdG

English:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cFmwKAiPFU

If there's any interest, I could do the whole thing/other passages of the Drama.

>>3435023
Beautiful.

>>3435023
I have to say, the way you read the french version really made me appreciate the beauty of the language. Cause if I have to be honest, most of the newsreaders on french television or radio sound absolutely disgusting.

>>3435353
Very nice on both sides. It's interesting to hear how they tried to preserve the rhyming structure in the translation to English.

>>3435459
Yes, it's a fantastic translation. Not quite as marvellous as the original, but still really exceptional. The version I have is from the Harvard Classics from... 1909 or 1910. My mother found the whole thing for cheap at a flea market a couple of years ago. I also have Dante's Divine Comedy, and some other classic literature, poetry, plays and philosophical texts.

>>3434021
I know about the 'ch' as 'sch' thing, but it is really hard for me to not do it or sometimes I can't help it at all. It is basically my dialect (eastern Germany, saxonia). I will try to be more concious about not doing it though.

I actually have to say, that I haven't read out loud for a long time, so it was a rather clumsy attempt. It seems I should do it more often.

>>3434070
Haha I think it is cause I am rather unused to reading out loud and I thought my voice sounded funny.

The very best of Post Office by Charles Bukowski:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s18yRQANzfsa

"You're late today."
"Yes, mam."
"Where's the regular man today?"
"He's dying of cancer."
"Dying of cancer? Harold is dying of cancer?"
"That's right," I said.
"BILLS! BILLS! BILLS!" she screamed. "IS THAT ALL YOU CAN BRING ME? THESE BILLS?"

>>3435507
This sounds like an episode of Hey Arnold.

>>3435505
I know what you mean. I'm from Bavaria, and when I talk to people, I pretty much always use 'des' instead of 'das', as in 'des hab ich schon gemacht'. Sometimes, dialect can be a bitch.

>>3435507
I love this.

>>3435507
Good God, man, what did you do to your voice?!

One last piece of high /lit/:

Ham on Rye- Charles Bukowski

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1En0cHgvYZU

"A guy I know in the 8th grade said he went over there one night."
"Yeah? What happened?"
"She came to the door in a nightgown, her tits were practically hanging out. The guy said he had forgotten the next day's homework and wondered what it was. She asked him in."
"No shit?"
"Yeah. Nothing happened. She made him some tea, told him about the homework and he left."
"If I had gotten in, that would have been it!"
"Yeah? What would you have done?"
"First I would have corn-holed her, then I would have eaten her pussy, then I would fuck her between the tits and then I would force her to give me a blow job."

>>3435023
This made me wet.

>>3435023
How can someone that sounds this perfect be on /lit/?

>>3435560
>Oh my god, a girl. Let's see if I can get my e-penis sucked.

>>3435023
I love your voice. :3

>>3435524
Yeah it is fucking annoying at times. I mean I can speak perfectly normal German and I am not running around talking like 'Jour gugge ma dord dreem! Was machen dien dorde? Globsch ja garne was die machen!'

But there are some parts like the 'sch' thing that is pretty damn hard to get rid of.

The Old Man and the Sea
never said salao out loud before
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ePkkdT4xwJ

>>3427542
>lipsmacking
>throaty voice
>constrained
>obvious breath sounds

And people like this?

>>3435537
Cut the falsetto shit. Real voice or GTFO.

>>3435590
I'm doing character voices, obviously. Why would I want to read woman's dialogue with a man's voice, or children's dialogue with a man's voice.

I don't read out loud as much as I should (I'm more shy doing things by myself than around other people - I don't know how that is)... I'm definitely looking for criticism. I'm not satisfied with how my voice sounds right now.

The first one is a favorite passage of mine from The Myth of Sisyphus:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1db6DEEqXNz

Next is a passage with really nice prose from Pnin, which I recently finished:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DA6eCwVGlQ

A bump for the night.

>>3427542
Galway Kinnell

"The Book of Nightmares"
Chapter 9 - The Path Among the Stones

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1uvpoxHF7I7

I need a request, I haven't anything laying around.

>>3436539

Make it something without dialogue.

I bet it sounds a lot better in it's original Italian.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0n1N96oeX3q

>>3435567
>>3435560
>>3435548
>>3435438
>>3435424
>>3435233
>>3435023
ITT: We sit and wait for the French girl to come back.

>>3436625
It's very nice Anon. I like your voice.

Stoya reads better than most of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQuXfyk3o

>>3436630
>tfw she's not coming back.

>>3427629
You pronounce isthmus "ishtmus". Stop that.

>>3435023
Good lord never did I expect to fumble my pasta so in the safety and comfort of my own room. T-toi aussi.

>>3437190
I'm here Anon, what do you want me to read?
I didn't know /lit/ was so interested in French literature.

>>3433309
I really liked this, so I read it in its original version, I hope you don't mind.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s04i1cgmG0Us

>>3437209
Sorry :(

>>3437124
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0iXpthslmBh

>>3435507

Voice changer?

I wonder - should I record myself saying and then unproffessionaly translating a Hebrew poem

>>3437511
לך על זה.

>>3435695
I like your delivery in the Pnin reading better, though I cannot say whether that is a function of your technique or a difference in the selection. Your cadence sounded more natural and less forced when reading Pnin, but perhaps Pnin's writing style makes it easier for a reader to navigate out loud. Still, those were two very good readings. Your voice itself is great; the only room for improvement that I can hear lies with the pace and inflection of your delivery, and even that was very good.

>>3436526
Another good voice with good pacing, but damn there's a lot of background noise anon -- you either need a new mic or a quieter place to record.

>>3436625
Paradiso, from the Divine Comedy?

>>3427542
You should be an audio-book reader. Just a spot more emotion.

I was looking for something fun to read from Henry David Thoreau's "Walden" when I found this little passage:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0FPIOZnqzGW

Does that remind you of anyone?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s19CvBV24BNh

Just grabbed the book to my left. Also, seriously, fuck my accent

have some wagahai wa neko de aru by a non native speaker:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0wHi4mwUF85

>>3437511
This is an open mic thread, Hebro. The answer to "should I record and share this thing I want to read?" is always going to be YES.

>>3437668

Yes, The second Canto until the third.
I love the imagery and I can't imagine how many drugs and emotions he must have gone through while writing it.
No way the fucker was sober during Inferno for sure.

>>3435507
Oh God, this is golden!

nocturnal bump

http://vocaroo.com/i/s08Sgi7hZwQl
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ulmPQru5fN

ĝuu

>>3440433
No hablo espanol muy bien, pero su tenga una voz bonita.
Leer Cervantes, por favor? Don Quixote?

>>3440470
Puedo ver que no hablas el español (y yo tampoco, en realidad)...pero no te preocupes. puedo leer algo en español también. a ver, una poema de Borges que me gusta mucho:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1sGz4bc8IVJ

p.s. sorry to any spanish speakers around here

>>3440500
*que no hablas el español bien...obviamente hablas un poquito jaja

>>3440500
Hey, I'm >>3434850

I'm a native speaker and I think your Spanish is very good. Also, you write it much better than I do so don't worry cause you're doing a good job lol.

Sorry for being so ignorant, but what is the other language you are speaking?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Q40hCV8EUb

Sir Agravaine (Wodehouse)

Grabbed the nearest book. It's a pretty good book. My microphone, on the other hand, is terrible.

>>3440557
Hey, thanks, I'm glad to hear that. The other language is Esperanto.

>>3433851
German anon here. Where from germany are you? Sachsen?

>>3437511
it's me again the hebro
after realising i have the ultimate combination of a shit mic and a shit voice, i decided to play this little music thing that the poet did with another musician. it's a little /mu/ but i do what i want dont judge me. please.
Igra Rama - Tal Nitzan
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1S9HLZaR9VL
enjoy

Storytime with Dr. Son
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WYHvlFww

Oblomov- chapter 9, oblomov's dream
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1JZnWlG6MNr
i stumble and pause a lot. hope you guys enjoy

>bumping this thread

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0O8UgehgXQy
Part 1
http://vocaroo.com/i/s17eGHH6JurX
Part 2

>>3442254
Oh god, you're a woman. I want to fuck your fac-I mean you have a great voice! PLEASE READ MORE.

>>3442247
Just trying to keep the submissions flowing in by bringing the thread to the attention of new contributors. Seems to be working, too. Why don't you add something of your own?

>>3442326
After a while threads become to long and people won't bother taking time scrolling through it all. Just create a new one instead.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0O8UgehgXQy

>>3442339
OK, I can sort of see where you're coming from there. This thread could become difficult for a new reader to scroll through.

Do you think it would be easier to jump into this thread if people included a brief description of their selection along with the vocaroo link?

>>3442411
That's even more reading, select 5-10 of your favorites and throw it in a new thread.

>>3442377
Nice reading. Very funny and you voice was great for this passage.

>>3443893
your*

Here's the opening chapter of The Poisonwood Bible, split into two longish parts (about 7 minutes each). It's the best-written opening chapter of any novel I've read, IMO, and does a remarkable job of introducing the themes that Kingsolver explores throughout the rest of the book.

Part 1
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fW8svxxGWB

Part 2
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1CgK3pkdDPA

May God have mercy on my soul for trying to read this in a more feminine Southern voice to suit the narrator.

My Lost Youth by Longfellow

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GTctc6GlNJ

>>3447828
Thanks bro; it helped soothe my nerves after a 2-and-a-half hour tutoring session.